A Different Love Story
by starvingstudent
Summary: A different version of the Kensi/Deeks love story. What if they were married before the show started? Follow a different version of the Kensi/Deeks love story as the rest of the team finds out about their marriage.
1. Identity

_**A Different Love Story**_

 _ **AN: So, this story is based on a request/prompt that I was asked to write.** **It** **picks up at the beginning of season one and will follow as closely to the episodes as possible with one significant change...**_

Prompt: What if they ( _Kensi and Deeks)_ were happily married before hand to hand ( _the first episode Deeks was in)_ but no one knew about it. The episodes would still be the same but their dynamic and actions would alter around the fact they were secretly married. The other difference from canon would be that Kensi isn't estranged from her mother and she knows about them.

 _ **At this point, I'm not sure how far this will go into the series, but I'm game to keep going if people are game to read and I'm looking for feedback on how far readers are interested in reading. I did write about halfway through season one to make sure it makes sense before I started posting. That being said, if you have ideas you want to see, feel free to send them by review or PM and I'll do my best to incorporate what I can.**_

 _ **Lastly, as this story will be following the show closely at times, there could be spoilers for any aired episodes. I'm including the names of the episodes mentioned at the top of each chapter. Also, I don't own anything. I'm just borrowing the characters for my own amusement.**_

00

Episode 1.1 - Identity (If you squint)

Kensi arrives home to a quiet apartment. The kitchen lights are off when she goes looking. She finds empty Chinese food containers on the counter which had been half full in the fridge when she had left for work that morning. She shakes her head, but leaves the containers where they are. She never has been one to tidy up and she's not about to start now.

The hallway towards the back of the apartment is dark and quiet as she pads quietly towards the bedroom, turning on lights as she goes. The door is ajar and she pushes it open to find a sleeping form in the bed. The same sleeping form she had left there that morning.

She pauses in the doorway to stare at the lump under the covers, debating what to do. The blankets are pulled up over his shoulders, but she can see messy, blonde hair poking out at the pillow. There's a towel on the floor by the side of the bed, so she knows he's had a shower along with helping himself to her leftovers.

She steps further into the room and he doesn't stir. She pauses again, but only for a moment, before pulling off her pants and the blouse she had worn to work, leaving herself in only a tank top and underwear. She drops the discarded clothes unceremoniously onto the floor and shuffles over to the right side of the bed. She lifts the blanket off the sleeping form and tucks herself into the bed.

His body is warm and the whole space smells like him in a way it hasn't in far too long. She tucks herself against his back and snakes an arm around his middle. She presses her nose into the space between his shoulder blades. He sighs and shifts to accommodate her tucked in behind him. She brushes her hand lightly back and forth along his chest and frowns at the prominence of his ribs. It wasn't unusual for him to come back to her a few pounds lighter, but this was more extreme than usual.

"Kens?" He eventually mumbles into his pillow.

"Morning again, sleepy head."

He huffs. "Why are you home early?"

She laughs and presses a kiss to his spine. "It's almost seven."

He tenses and then rolls over to face her. His eyes are puffy and the entire right side of his face is red from being pressed down into his pillow for hours, and his normally messy hair is even worse than usual because he probably went back to bed right after his shower, but her heart still trips at the sight of him. Because no matter how used to their life she is, she never gets used to missing him when he's gone.

"I didn't mean to sleep this long," he apologizes.

She presses close and kisses him. "You clearly needed it. And it's not like you got a lot of sleep last night." She smirks at him as she remembers everything that had happened between his unexpected return shortly before midnight and them finally giving in to sleep early that morning.

He smiles back at her. "True. You did keep me up late."

She swats at him. "I'm the one who had to work today."

"I'm sorry about that. I had plans to make you dinner."

"We don't have any groceries."

"I noticed that," he says dryly. "You need to learn to cook when I'm not home."

"No, I don't."

He laughs and kisses her, letting it go for now. It was an argument they had all the time.

"I had plans to go grocery shopping, too. So I could cook you dinner."

"Tomorrow," she assures him. "Tonight we're ordering pizza." She runs her hand over his rib cage. "How much weight did you lose this time?"

He gently pulls her hand away from himself and presses a kiss to her palm. "A little," he concedes. "But I'm okay."

She stares at him for a long moment. Coming back skinny wasn't the worst he'd come back to her. More than once he'd been injured. And more than once he'd been stuck in his own head for days or even weeks, struggling to extricate himself from his undercover persona. She can accept skinny if he is otherwise intact. "Okay," she says, accepting that he really is okay. She kisses him again. "I missed you, Marty."

He wraps his arms around her and hugs her close to him, sharing his body heat. "I missed you, too, Kens. I always do."

They had chosen this life a long time ago, and while neither regrets their choice, knowing their sacrifices are for the greater good, both wish sometimes for an easier way.

He runs his hand up and down her side absently. "I could skip pizza and just stay here with you."

"You're already too skinny," she chastises. "I'm not about to let you skip meals."

He presses his lips to her forehead and chuckles. "And this has nothing to do with _you_ wanting pizza?"

She smiles into his neck. "Nope, not at all. This is a totally selfless act."

He laughs out loud as his hand continues to stroke along her side, dipping lower. "Sure, sure."

She's about to retort, but his hand finds her bare hip and stops it's rhythmic procession up and down her side. Instead, it pauses and then dips down lower before heading back up and curving around her bottom. "Kens, you're not wearing any pants," he mumbles into her forehead.

"Your powers of observation are astounding, Detective."

He presses into her so she rolls onto her back and he follows, moving over her. He kisses her, hard and deep and thorough, stealing her breath and her thoughts. It's not until he begins to move his lips down her neck that some semblance of thought makes its way back to her.

"Marty...dinner..." she manages to mumble, eyes closed, one hand clutching to his shirt and the other buried in his hair.

He pulls his teeth from her clavicle and raises his head to meet her eyes. "That didn't sound convincing. Want to try again?"

She hesitates. They'd been apart for _so_ long and after only one night spent back together she wants him _so_ much. But it's already late to be ordering dinner, and she knows he really does need to eat. The Chinese leftovers were probably the only food he's hand since he came out from undercover the previous day.

"Kens?" He prompts gently, raising his left hand to brush her hair back from her face. The low light that had followed her down the hallway in her quest to find him catches the metal band on his fourth finger and draws her attention. It warms her heart that putting on his ring had been a priority for him on a day when it was all he could do to shower and swallow down some cold, two day old leftovers from the fridge before falling back into bed. Even knowing all he would be doing is sleeping, he had pulled his wedding ring from its box in her top dresser drawer where it lived each time he went undercover.

She threaded her fingers through his, smiling softly at the familiar cool band between her fingers. And she was suddenly overwhelmed with the need to be wearing her own matching wedding band.

"Food first," she declares softly, but in a tone that leaves him able to barter if he wants to.

He leans in to peck her lips before rolling off of her. "Okay."

She sits up and swings her legs off the bed. "Will you order while I have a quick shower?"

He agrees, and after one more kiss, she heads into the bathroom and he heads into the kitchen in search of takeout menus.

Kensi showers and dries her hair. She's in the bedroom pulling on yoga pants and a tank top when she hears the pizza being delivered. Perfect timing. She only has one more thing to do.

She pulls open the top drawer of her dresser and grabs the box that holds her ring each day while she's at work. She replaces the ring onto her left hand and then makes her way into the kitchen. Her husband is setting the pizza box down onto the counter so she reaches up to grab two plates from the cupboard.

"Table or couch?" He asks.

"Couch," she says, wanting nothing more than to tuck herself next to him on their couch like she hasn't been able to do for too long.

She distributes pizza onto the plates and heads into the living room while her husband follows with drinks and napkins. They settle on the couch together. If he notices that she's donned her ring - which he probably does - he says nothing.

"So, how was work?" He asks lightly. It's a subject they're used to treading carefully with. Simply due to the length of time they've been married, he knows the truth about her job. But her cases and co-workers are still classified. "Did you save the world today?"

She smiles and bumps his shoulder. "Not today. Maybe tomorrow."

He bumps her shoulder back.

"My team leader came back to work today," she offers.

"He's the one who got shot, right?"

She nods. Callen had been shot two weeks before her husband had been sent undercover this most recent time.

"That's good; that he's back to work, I mean. Must be doing well."

"Seems like he is." She wishes she could tell him more, but she knows she can't. He does too, so he doesn't push.

"Anything else new?"

"New guy started last week. If he works out, he'll be my partner."

"What happened to the last new guy?"

She smiles, remembering a new agent had just started before Deeks had been sent undercover. "He washed out." She pauses. "As did the guy after him."

Deeks sighs and hooks his arm around her shoulder. "I don't like the idea of you out there alone."

She settles against him with a sigh. "What do you think I go through every time you go under alone?"

"I know," he assures. "I know," he repeats, pressing a kiss to the side of her head.

"I'm not alone," she assures him. "I have a good team."

"So you keep saying." He leans his head against hers. "I wish I could meet them."

"Maybe one day you can."

00

Prompt: What if they ( _Kensi and Deeks)_ were happily married before hand to hand ( _the first episode Deeks was in)_ but no one knew about it. The episodes would still be the same but their dynamic and actions would alter around the fact they were secretly married. The other difference from canon would be that Kensi isn't estranged from her mother and she knows about them.

 _ **AN: The prompt was given by a reader who I have unfortunately been unable to obtain additional details from. Not sure if I should name them here, but if you're reading, you know who you are and please PM me! I was interested in the prompt, but not sure where/when the story was to be set or how long it was to be continued.**_

 _ **As I said at the top, I've written about halfway through season one so far to make sure the story is viable before I started posting and I have to say it's been fun to work with a different Kensi/Deeks. I will post the next chapters every few days - they are written but I need time to edit.**_

 _ **I'm open to ideas that you want to see incorporated, so if you have anything, please send me a review/PM. If your idea revolves around a certain episode, please include the name and/or number. This should be a fun project to write. It's already been fun to go back and re-watch the first season. Please let me know honestly if you think this is worth pursuing much past season one or not.**_

 _ **Lastly, Kensi will be (at least at home once he's included in the work dynamic) calling him 'Marty' because I honestly couldn't figure out a valid reason for her to be calling him Deeks. However, in writing the story, I am referring to him as 'Deeks' because I just find it weird to refer to him as Marty and find it easier to write him as Deeks... Later, when he joins the team, I'm sure Kensi will struggle with what to call him.**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**AN: WOW! I was humbled by the response to the first chapter. Seriously, wow! You guys are awesome! I'm so glad this concept has met such great support and interest.**_

 _ **Moving forward, please continue to send me ideas and opinions as they come to you. I've written ten chapters so far (which has brought me to 'Past Lives'). Some chapters are more ready to post than others, but I hope to be able to at least post the first ten chapters every 2-3 days.**_

 _ **For the sake of clarification, Hetty knows about their marriage. I'm trying to keep this story as realistic as I can (within the NCIS LA existing framework) and with the kind of job they have (Kensi for now) just the level of security clearance alone, their boss would know about their marriage. Plus, Hetty knows everything.**_

 _ **00**_

"How was your debrief?" Kensi asks as she walks in the door to their apartment. There are wonderful smells coming from the kitchen, so she follows her nose and finds her husband at the stove wielding a large wooden spoon.

"Fine," he responds, offering her a smile. "How was your day?"

She shrugs. "Boring. Mostly paperwork."

He steps away from the stove and pulls her into a hug.

Kensi smiles when he ducks his head to place a kiss into the crook of her neck. "It smells good in here."

"I made it to the grocery store."

"I can see that. Whatcha making for dinner?"

"Stir fry."

"Glad to have you home."

He raises an eyebrow. "You just love me for my cooking skills, don't you?"

She swats at him. "What a horrible thing to say!" She pauses. "I love you for your body, too."

He rolls his eyes and she laughs so hard at her own joke that she snorts.

"Well, I certainly don't love you for your sense of humour," he tells her.

She scoffs. "I'm funny."

"Of course you are," he humours her.

Kensi jumps up and settles on the counter while Deeks turns back to stirring their dinner. God, she missed this. "Did they say how long you'll be home?" She tries to ask the question lightly, but can't control the hopeful note in her voice.

Deeks sets the spoon down and turns to her, stepping between her dangling legs. His hands find her hips. "They're trying to set up an operation into human trafficking, but that's well into the future. There's a few different drug busts they want to make, so we'll look into the best possibility."

"But it won't be right away?"

He leans in to kiss her. "Probably a month."

She smiles when he leans his forehead against hers. "It'll be nice having you home for a while."

"It'll be nice being home for a while." He sighs. "I'm sorry, Kens. I'm sorry I'm not home more."

Her fingers find the hair at the base of his head. "I'm not," she whispers. "And don't get me wrong, I miss you when you're not here. But this is the choice _we_ made, Marty. Not you. So, don't be sorry. We're both making the world a better place."

He shifts to press a kiss to her forehead and then leans back far enough to meet her eyes. "Our decision," he agrees.

00

 _Deeks yawned as he let himself in the front door of their apartment early in the morning after a shift that ran well into the double digits. He sniffed suspiciously at the not-quite-burning smell coming from the kitchen as he removed his boots and placed his hat on the hook by the door._

 _"Kens?" He called out. "Are you doing something you're not supposed to?"_

 _She met him at the doorway to the kitchen, an unnecessarily large spatula in hand, glaring at him. "Excuse me?"_

 _He leaned down to kiss her, but paused when he caught sight of...was that egg?...on her face. He reached up to brush the crispy, dried egg white from her cheek._

 _It didn't even faze her. She simply reached up to hook her fingers into the collar of his uniform and tug him down to her level for a kiss._

 _"I made you breakfast," she said after she had released him._

 _"I can see that. Is it-"_

 _She cut him off by swatting at him with the spatula. "If you ask me if it's eatable, I will eat it all myself and you can starve."_

 _He chuckled. "I mean, what a wonderful wife you are. Thank you. And I love you. Also, have I mentioned how beautiful you look this morning?"_

 _She rolled her eyes, but shepherded him to the small kitchen table where she had already plated their breakfast. Bacon (which she knew how to cook expertly), toast and somewhat chunky looking scrambled eggs._

 _"They were supposed to be over easy," she explained about the eggs as she took her seat across from him at the wobbly table. "But they weren't cooperating, so they got scrambled."_

 _He was tempted to make a joke about taking her cooking frustrations out on their breakfast, but she was just so genuine sitting across from him at the small table he didn't feel like pushing the mood. And after the night he just had, he so appreciated her efforts. "This is really nice, Kens. Thanks."_

 _"I knew you'd be exhausted when you got home. You left this time yesterday. Have you slept at all?"_

 _He shook his head. "Had a hell of a night. Bates had me ride along with a detective whose partner is injured. He's trying to take down this drug dealer," he explained. "So, we spent hours tracking the supplier. The detective actually had me change into street clothes and go pretend to be a buyer a couple times to get the sellers to talk. Went really well for a while, but then the supplier caught on and I got separated from the detective before I knew what was going on."_

 _Kensi blew out a breath. They'd long since agreed not to hide the dangerous details of their jobs, but she didn't like knowing he'd been in trouble._

 _"My training told me to draw my gun, announce myself, you know? But then before I even know what I'm doing I'm making up this story about looking for my brother whose a junkie and I'm desperate and I'll do anything to find him. And they totally bought it. I got back to the car without even drawing my gun and the detective had proof of the supplier."_

 _She smiled in relief that nothing worse had occurred. "That's really good, Marty. I'm proud of you."_

 _He continued, "And then this morning I got called into Bates's office."_

 _"Why?"_

 _That was the tough part. "Apparently the detective was impressed with my response. He mentioned to Bates that I may have a future as an undercover cop."_

 _Kensi released a slow breath, a habit they both knew she picked up from him. "Marty..."_

 _"I told Bates I needed to think about it." He met her eyes. "I wanted to talk to you about it." He sighed. "You don't like the idea, do you?"_

 _She reached across the small table for his hand. "It's dangerous," she acknowledged. "I don't like the idea of you going undercover alone for weeks or months at a time."_

 _He squeezed her hand._

 _"But I know you're good at what you do." She blinked against the tears in her eyes._

 _"Kens..."_

 _She shook her head. "I'm okay. I can hardly be a hypocrite, right? Not when I'm trying to get into OSP? And you've been nothing but supportive. It's just..."_

 _"A long way from the struggling law student you married?"_

 _She laughed through her watery eyes. "You've certainly kept me on my toes."_

 _He cocked his head. "Any regrets?"_

 _"Not a single one."_

 _"So, this is something we can talk about?"_

 _"Of course."_

00

"Our decision," she echoes his words. She pulls him close to kiss him and then playfully pushes him away. "Now go check on my dinner. I haven't had a proper meal in months and I'm not going to be happy if you let it burn..."

He laughs as he turns back to the stove and picks up the forgotten spoon. "You really need to learn to cook, Kens."

"I can cook if I want to."

They continue to banter playfully as he finishes preparing their dinner. She hops off the counter to get the plates and soon they're sitting together at their kitchen table. Earlier in their marriage, when money had been tight, their table had been small and wobbly, with only two chairs, purchased from a second hand store. A couple years prior, after Deeks had made detective and Kensi was settled at OSP, they had finally be able to upgrade some of their things. Their kitchen table no longer wobbled, was larger and held four matching chairs. She enjoyed knowing that the progress had been made together. But she sometimes missed the table so small their knees had bumped together.

"I talked to my mom on the way home," Kensi says.

"How is she?"

"Good. Said she's free this evening if we want to swing by and pick up Monty?"

"Sounds great. I miss my partner."

Kensi laughs. Her husband had taken the LAPD bomb sniffing K9 on one short lived undercover OP a year prior and since then had been playfully referring to him as his partner.

"I miss having him around all the time when he stays at mom's," she admits. With her crazy schedule at OSP, when Deeks is undercover Monty stays with her mom. She doesn't know who loves the arrangement more, seeing as Monty adores Julia and Julia dotes over her grand-dog.

"You think we'll ever have a normal life?" Deeks asks.

She shakes her head. "Nope," she says, and then she smiles. "I like _our normal_."

He smiles back at her across the table. "Me, too. Now, let's finish eating so we can go get our dog."

00

 _ **AN: As I said in the last chapter, feel free to said ideas/opinion/feedback about what you want to see moving forward. The next chapter will move the story forward and align with the episodes - I just wanted to spend another chapter focusing on establishing the Kensi/Deeks relationship and introduce the format of how the following chapters will be (mostly story with flashback) before moving forward. Thanks for reading!**_


	3. The Only Easy Day

_**AN: I know I said the first ten chapters would be up every 2-3 days, but this chapter was more polished than I expected, so I thought I'd post it today.**_

 _ **Some of the chapters follow more closely to the actual episodes than others. I've included the details related to the episodes that I feel relevant to the story I'm telling with the chapter. In some cases it's a fair bit of dialogue and in some cases it's a handful of sentences retelling the story. I've tried to find the fine line between saying enough about the actual episode and not saying so much that it makes you want to skim, but I know from experience of reading stories like this that depending on how recently I've watched the episode I'm either glad for the reminding details or I'm skimming because it's too much. I have included the name and number at the top of each chapter. If you want a refresher summary on the episode before you read the chapter, there are a ton of websites that offer just that. Personally, I use .com a lot, which has short summaries if you're just looking for a reminder.**_

00

Episode 1.2 - The Only Easy Day

Kensi spends most of her morning with Dom, teaching him the art of surveillance as they keep watchful eyes on a group of SEALs who are suspected to have attacked the house of known drug dealers, leaving two of them dead and making off with a large chunk of cash. Dom is uncertain, but eager to learn. She's hopeful for his future with their team. It's been almost two months now and that's longer than the last two lasted. Combined.

It's getting later into the day when they lose their suspect and head to the boatshed to meet up with Callen and Sam. Kensi's not sure if she's grateful to be done for the day or not. She enjoys being in the field most days, but especially when her husband is undercover she enjoys the distraction.

It's been two weeks since he went back under for an indefinite period of time. Monty is back with her mom, and while she has dinner with her mom at least once a week, most of her nights are filled with too much silence as she misses her boys. She doesn't regret the choices that brought them to this life, but she had thought it would be easier with time. Instead, she finds the absences more and more difficult to handle each time her husband is sent undercover.

When they reach the boatshed, Callen and Sam have one of the suspected SEALs in the interrogation room. Nate's observing, trying to offer as many operational psychologist insights as possible.

"Good timing," Callen says. "We gave him a few minutes to stew." He motions to the video screen of the SEAL in interrogation. "We were just about to go back in."

"Still not admitting to killing the two drug dealers?" Dom asks.

"One drug dealer," Sam corrects.

Kensi frowns. "But I thought there were two bodies?"

"Apparently they killed an undercover cop," Sam says angrily.

Kensi feels her blood run cold in her veins. _Not like this_.

She inhales sharply and then releases a shuddery breath. Across the room, Sam is seething at the SEAL on the video screen, as personally offended as he is any time a SEAL is involved in a case. Callen is focused on his partner. Dom is watching them both, taking in their interactions just as he takes in everything. She opens her mouth, but no words come out. She swallows hard and tries again. "What...what was his name?" She manages to ask, her voice uncharacteristically quiet, but relatively even.

"Who? The cop?" Callen asks.

She manages a nod.

He and Sam share a look, but it's clear neither of them actually know.

Kensi feels her control slipping. "How can you not know?"

"We only found out late this morning. We don't have all the facts yet."

" _This morning_? You've known for hours? Why weren't we notified?" Her heart drops out. She'd been sitting in a car for _hours_ with Dom, and all the while she may just have been watching men who had killed her husband.

Still focused on his partner, Callen brushes her off. "We don't have all the facts yet," he repeats. "It didn't change your assignment today." He motions to Sam and together they re-enter the interrogation room.

Kensi turns to Nate, desperate. Her husband had gone back undercover and all she was told was that it was drug related. "What was his name?" She tries to keep her voice even, but even she hears the underlying pleading.

Nate stares at her for a long moment, his gaze studying. Probably evaluating all sorts of tells she is putting out, but she can't bring herself to care. "Detective Carson," he finally says, his tone soft.

Kensi feels a wave of relief wash over her. She nods curtly and turns towards the video screen as an excuse to turn away from Nate. She counts to fifty before allowing herself to swipe at the tears that had welled in her eyes against her will. She knows her body is trembling, but she can't will it to stop. _Not this time._

Dom is staring at her, his gaze filled with concern and lack of understanding. Because he doesn't understand. He doesn't _know_. None of them do. When she was hired, Hetty had advised her that in this job sometimes secrets were akin to security. Kensi had taken her statement as a challenge to not only keep her home life secret, but to create a false persona herself. Agent Kensi Blye, the girl with commitment issues who doesn't do second dates. Not Mrs. Kensi Deeks, the girl who went all in and got married at twenty and never looked back. So, she wasn't really lying to her team. She doesn't do second dates. Because she doesn't do first dates. Because she'd had her last first date in college.

She releases a slow breath to calm her nerves and then shoots Dom a glare for staring at her. He looks chagrined for being caught and she feels bad, but she can't have him sticking his nose in her business.

"There's nothing for us to do here," she says when she's certain her voice will sound normal. "Let's head back to OPs and see if Eric has had any luck tracking down our missing SEAL."

Dom nods and moves towards the door.

Nate is still staring at her when she glances at him. She wishes she could shoot him a glare and get him off her back as easily as Dom, but she knows the more she tries to avoid his interest the more interest he'll have.

"You good, Kens?" He asks.

She meets his inquiring eyes and nods. "I'm good."

It takes them until the next day to finalize the case. Turns out a second undercover cop - who was dirty - killed his partner while the SEALs stormed the drug dealers' beach house. A mess from all sides, but the SEALs are talking and the dirty cop is dead. After a minor shootout on a golf course that morning between NCIS and the bad guys, NCIS had recovered the money, helped the SEALs redeem themselves, and taken out the dirty cop (courtesy of Sam) and his accomplice (courtesy of Kensi).

Kensi feels sick at the thought that it could have been her husband, dead at the hands of someone he trusted. It didn't happen this time, but that didn't mean it couldn't happen. She desperately wants to know how he's doing and where he is and when he'll be home, but save storming down to his precinct and demanding the information from his Lieutenant, she has no way of knowing anything. She decides she'll wait until the next day before doing something so drastic as to accost Lieutenant Bates.

She's packed up and ready to leave for the day when Nate calls her name on his way down the stairs. She sighs and turns to wait for him.

"Have a few minutes, Kensi?" Nate asks when he joins her.

"Depends. What for?" She doesn't want to answer questions about her reaction the previous day. Tomorrow, when she's been able to rest and process, she'll be fine to adopt her Agent Blye persona and slough off his questions. But today, after the fear of yesterday and then not sleeping all night because she was stuck at work with the case, she knew she wasn't working at full capacity to take on their operational psychologist and win.

"Debrief on your shooting from this morning." He holds up a file.

She sighs. "Really? Come on Nate, I've been up for a day and a half. It was a clean shot. Can't we do this tomorrow?"

He narrows his eyes, studying her expression and body language. He's definitely still suspicious from her reaction the previous day.

"Your reaction yesterday to the news about the cop was extreme," he says gently, testing the waters.

"And that was yesterday. I thought you wanted to talk about this morning's shooting?"

He nods. "My job is to make sure all of the agents are in the best headspace possible to do this job."

She crosses her arms over her chest and stares him down.

Eventually he gets uncomfortable under her gaze and shifts his weight. "I want to understand your reaction yesterday."

"My team kept me out of the loop," she says, keeping her arms crossed and back straight. "I should have been informed the moment they found out one of the drug dealers killed was actually an undercover cop." It wasn't a lie.

Nate cocks his head ever so slightly. "You and Dom, you mean."

She forces herself not to react to his correction. "Yes. _We_ should have been informed. Dom is new, so Callen or Sam should have called _me_ and then _I_ would have told Dom. We're a team, are we not? Would I not have been expected to share information that important?"

Nate nods. "Okay, I accept that." He pauses before pushing gently. "But I think there's something more."

She stares him down.

Unfortunately, this time, he doesn't give in. "Kensi?"

She sighs as she falls into her Agent Blye persona. Always undercover a little. Always a hypocrite because after her rant about being a team, here she is keeping secrets. "It could have been any of us," she says, because that's something that would bother Agent Blye.

The statement surprises Nate and she takes advantage of the surprise. "We go undercover all the time. What if one day it's one of us killed and thought to be a bad guy? I'll die for my country if I have to, Nate, but I want to die as me."

Nate nods. "Alright. For the record, if it ever was you, we'd be there and we'd know it was you."

Kensi glances away and then quickly back to Nate. She doesn't like that she has to lie to him. Thankfully, he takes her avoidance as still being upset and doesn't push further.

"Let's do the debrief tomorrow," he says.

"Thank you," she responds, offering a small smile. Maybe by tomorrow she'll feel less bad for lying to him.

They say their goodbyes and Kensi heads out. She can feel Hetty watching as she leaves and she glances at the older woman as she walks by. Hetty sends her an understanding smile.

00

 _After years of working in and out of standard federal offices, the colour and character that surrounds her as she's called inside the boatshed is a shock to her system. She had double and triple checked the address she'd been given for her interview when the directions led her to a boatshed along the water. Finally deciding it couldn't hurt to knock, she got out of her car and walked towards the building. There was one other car in the parking lot; a magnificently restored Jaguar, which put her ten year old Camry to shame._

 _The door was propped open and she hesitated, wondering if she should knock._

 _"Come on in, Agent Blye. I won't bite."_

 _She smoothed her hands over her dress skirt and stepped in the door. A very small woman with a very large presence was standing in the middle of the room, dressed in a navy blue suit with a pin to the left of her lapel. Kensi offered the woman a smile. For years she'd heard rumours of Henrietta Lange._

 _"Ms. Lange?" She greeted. "Hi, it's nice to meet you."_

 _"_ Miss _Lange," Hetty corrected gently. "But I prefer Hetty."_

 _"Hetty," Kensi said with a nod. "Call me Kensi."_

 _"It's nice to finally meet you, Kensi. Come and sit. Would you like a cup of tea?"_

 _Kensi allowed the older woman to present her with a cup of very flavourful tea in a country rose styled mug._

 _"You appeared uncertain when you arrived," Hetty stated once they are both seated. She says it like a statement, but Kensi hears the question._

 _She nodded. "Honestly, I wasn't sure I had the right place. This isn't exactly what I expected."_

 _Hetty smiled at her answer. "We like to challenge expectations."_

 _Kensi smiled back._

 _"We use this location for interviews and interrogations. Also, to meet with outsiders from other agencies, the LAPD, etcetera. And, of course, we have an operations centre as well."_

 _"Smart," Kensi said. "To have separate locations."_

 _"I thought so." She fell silent, staring at Kensi._

 _Kensi motioned to her shoulder bag. "I brought a copy of my diploma, CV and transcripts. And records of my training courses and results."_

 _Hetty waved her hand. "I appreciate your initiative, but that is unnecessary. We have it all."_

 _"Okay. That's good." She wasn't sure what, if anything, she should be saying. In her experience, interviews involve being asked a lot of personal questions. "Is there anything you'd like to know about me?"_

 _Hetty smiled and shook her head. "I know everything I need to know, my dear. Daughter of a marine. Lost your father at fifteen. Didn't use that as an excuse to throw away your life, but instead rose above. Put yourself through school. Proficient in multiple languages, forensics, weapons and self-defense. And from my understanding, just as good a shot as your father with a sniper rifle."_

 _Kensi smiled. "I like to think so."_

 _"Your marksmanship tests confirm so. You've also signed up for every internal course available since joining NCIS to better your skills. You are exactly the type of agent I want on my team."_

 _"So, this..."_

 _"Is not an interview," Hetty finished for her. "I simply wanted to meet you in person and give you the opportunity to ask any questions you may have."_

 _Kensi honestly didn't know what to say. "So...I have the job?"_

 _Hetty smiled. "Yes, my dear, you have the job. I want you to start on Monday."_

 _"But...don't I need higher security screening?"_

 _"Already taken care of. I've done a thorough background check of yourself and Mr. Deeks."_

 _At the mention of her husband, her right hand automatically sought out her left ring finger and she spun the band on her finger._

 _"Martin Andrew Deeks. Grew up in LA. You met him in college. He was a law student when you married. He graduated and spent several years in the public defender's office before making the switch to the LAPD. Quickly promoted from officer to detective. Making a name for himself working undercover." Hetty paused to offer Kensi a smile. "Quite the power couple, eh? Saving the world?"_

 _Kensi smiled. "We try."_

 _Hetty motioned towards her wedding ring. "In our line of work, family ties can be challenging..."_

 _Kensi closed her fist around her ring as she absorbed the older woman's words. "I want this job," she said honestly. She had been working towards OSP for years. "But I'm not willing to give up my marriage for anything."_

 _"You misunderstand me. Although I appreciate your dedication to your husband." Hetty smiled. "I meant that family ties can make us vulnerable. They can be used against us by those who seek weaknesses in other people."_

 _"So, I should...leave the ring off in the field?"_

 _"I was thinking you should leave the ring at home. You team will become a family of sorts, but it is important to keep your home life and your work life separate. In this job, my dear, secrets are akin to security."_


	4. Predator & Search and Destroy

_**AN: So, I had some time and chapter 4 was fairly polished. Now that the weekend is coming to an end, the next few chapters will not be posted every day, but I am motivated to get what I have written up as soon as I can.**_

 _ **Possible spoiler (?) for 'season one' regarding Dom...**_

 _ **Before the story gets too far, I do want to leave a reminder/warning for those who may not have seen the first season, not remember the details or may expect me to follow a different path. I debated whether to write this note and how much information to leave, but in the end thought it was important because I know some readers are sensitive to certain issues. If you don't want to risk being 'spoiled' then just skip ahead to the beginning of the chapter. But if you are sensitive to any issues, read the next paragraph (and if you're worried about reading on in the story and have questions, feel free to PM me.)**_

 _ **Dom was Kensi's partner in season one. He did not survive until the end of season one. I will not be changing his fate. I didn't want to 'spoil' anyone's reading, but I also didn't want to have readers get attached and upset when he dies in this story. The aim of my writing is to leave the characters in good places, and for people to enjoy reading it, but the purpose of this story is Kensi/Deeks on a different path following the already set storyline of the show.**_

 _ **I will assure you that I have no plans to 'kill off' Kensi, Deeks or any of the main characters. Things that happened in the show are fair game, and I may add/subtract to that to help the overall storyline, but there will be no undue suffering for the sake of drama.**_

 _ **00**_

Episodes 1.3 - Predator and 1.4 - Search and Destroy

After her reaction in regards to the dead undercover cop, Kensi doubles her efforts to appear single and unattached to her team. She makes up a story about preparing for a date with a fictional guy named Steve. She tells them he's a businessman who is taking her out to a fancy restaurant after work one Friday night.

In actual fact, she drives to her mother's after work to retrieve her dog. She and Monty spend the evening cuddling on the couch with Thai takeout. Come Monday morning, she tells her team the date had gone well, which backfires because they want to know when the second date is. She panics and tells them he's taking her out again Tuesday night.

Wednesday morning she goes to work with a lie prepared; she cancelled to avoid the awkwardness of the second date. She feels bad for lying, but no one questions her story and Hetty gives her a nod of approval. She also feels progressively less bad for lying as every member of her team makes sure to make fun of her at least once during their newest case about her lack of proficiency in second dates.

She doesn't think she's convinced Nate to get off her back for good, but at least she has him distracted for now.

When the case is finished and the world safe for another day, she heads home in search of food and sleep. She parks her car and heads up the stairs to her apartment, but pauses at the door when the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end.

Silently, she reaches for the doorknob and frowns when she finds it unlocked. She knows she definitely locked it when she left that morning. She pulls her SIG from the waistband of her jeans and pushes open the door as quietly as possible. There's a clatter of noise in the kitchen, so she leaves the door ajar and creeps her way towards the kitchen. She takes a breath and then steps quickly into the kitchen, sounding a very authoritative, "Freeze!"

Instead of an unknown bad guy going through her things, she finds her husband in boxers and a tee shirt, clutching an arm full of food boxes which had clearly fallen from the upper cupboard as he was rummaging. On the top of the pile is, of course, a large box of twinkies.

His expression is one of surprise and then quickly amusement as he takes in her stance and gun. "I'd put my hands up, but I don't want to drop your twinkies," he says.

It would be funny if it weren't for the black eye, bruised jaw or large scrape across his cheek.

"Marty," she says breathlessly. "You're home." She quickly lowers her gun and replaces it in the waistband of her jeans.

He carefully drops his armload of boxes onto the counter before turning and wrapping her in his arms.

He flinches when she hugs him back, but when she tries to pull away, he only holds her closer. "Are you okay?" She whispers.

"Better now that you're home." He presses a kiss to the side of her head and continues to just hold her.

"How bad?" She asks because she can't help it.

He sighs, but they have an agreement not to keep these things secret. "Took a bit of a beating. Mostly just my ribs and face."

"Marty..."

"I'm okay, Kens." He pulls back far enough to meet her eyes. "Nothing's broken. Everything will heal. And we got the bad guys."

She stretches up on her tip toes to kiss him. "I love you," she whispers between kisses.

"I love you, too," he whispers back, exhaling into their joint space and pressing his forehead to hers.

"I don't like it when you get hurt," she says, closing her eyes.

"Neither do I."

She allows herself to laugh at his joke and pulls away. "I need to shut the front door," she explains as she leaves him temporarily in the kitchen.

"I'm glad you can take care of yourself, but you do realize that was the third time you've had me at gun point in our own home, right?" He says lightly when she returns to the kitchen.

"Okay, the first time doesn't count." She tells him.

"How do you figure?"

"You showed up at two in the morning without any warning. You're lucky I didn't shoot you."

"I was trying not to wake you."

"You failed."

He laughs. "And the second time?"

"I got out of the shower to noise in the bedroom."

"I still can't believe you take your gun into the bathroom with you when you shower."

She rolls her eyes.

"Still, you wrapped in a towel and wielding a SIG is a memory you can never take from me." He waggles his eyebrows as he taps the side of his head.

She glares at him. "You're supposed to leave something at the door when you get home so I know it's you," she reminds. "Or call."

He nods. "I didn't expect you home this early. Next time I'll leave a shoe by the front door."

"Just one?"

He laughs. "You'll have to wait and see."

She steps into him for another hug. "I'm really glad you're home."

"Even if you did almost shoot me?"

"I didn't almost shoot you. I don't almost shoot anyone; I don't miss."

He laughs. "That's my girl."

"Are you hungry?"

"A little," he admits. "I was looking for a snack to tide me over for now so we eat could together when you got home."

"Want to go out for dinner?"

He hesitates. "I'm not sure that's a good idea. I don't want to...draw attention." He motions to his bruised face.

Kensi nods and cocks her head as she thinks. She knows from experience that it's good for him to get back into the world sooner rather than later when he comes off a bad undercover. "How about we order some takeout and then hit a club? It'll be dark, people will be drunk. No one will ask questions about your bruises."

He narrows his eyes. "On one condition..."

"And what's that?"

He smirks. "After dinner, we share a shower before we go out."

She smiles. "You're not too sore?"

"Never too sore for that."

And, true to his word, he proved to her how capable he was even with a chest and abdomen that were more bruised than not. She clung to him for several seconds before getting out of the shower, recalling times when he hadn't been so okay.

00

 _Despite having been told he was stable and conscious when she'd received the phone call, Kensi could feel her heart pounding in her chest when she arrived at the hospital and approached the nurses' station in the ER._

 _"I got a call about my husband." She explained._

 _"Name?"_

 _"Detective Marty Deeks."_

 _The nurse offered her a supportive smile. "Bed two. That's right over there, Mrs. Deeks."_

 _Kensi followed the nurse's directions and pulled back the curtain to let herself into the small area that housed her injured husband._

 _His eyes were closed, but his breaths were shallow, so she knew he wasn't actually asleep._

 _"Hey," she murmured softly, running her hand up his arm as she made her way up the side of the bed._

 _His eyes fluttered open and he stared at her. "Kens," he husked._

 _She felt tears well in her eyes at the pain she saw in his. "Are you okay?"_

 _"My head hurts," he whispered._

 _She bent down to press a kiss to his forehead._

 _"Mmm, that feels better." His eyes closed again, but his arm lifted, reaching for her._

 _She found his hand and then guided his arm back down to the bed, his hand clutched in hers. "God, Marty, I love you so much. So much."_

 _"So much," he echoed._

 _She smiled softly, knowing he was concussed and doing his best to follow her words._

 _"Was thinking about you," he whispered._

 _She wasn't sure if he meant before she showed up at the hospital or when he was waiting to maybe die. Both options tugged at her heart. "I think about you all the time," she told him._

 _He tried to sit up, but flinched and settled back down._

 _"Hey," she soothed. Brushing her free hand gently over his chest, she calmed him. "Just rest," she told him._

 _"Kens," he mumbled._

 _She squeezed his hand and leaned down to press a kiss to his lips. "I'm here. I'll be here. Just rest."_

 _"You're here..." He murmured, closing his eyes. His breathing evened out and she knew he was sleeping._

 _She sat in silence with her slumbering husband, thanking every god and deity she was aware of that he was alive and breathing. He continued to sleep on beside her, his hand in hers. After ten minutes, she stood and pressed a kiss to his temple and then sat back down. "I'm so glad you're okay," she whispered. "I don't know what I'd do without you." She wrapped both hands around his and closed her own eyes._

 _She didn't know how much time passed before the curtain brushed back and an unfamiliar form appeared at the foot of the bed. Even with the lack of white coat, she immediately knew the man wasn't a doctor. His stance and demeanor told her he was a cop, but also screamed former military._

 _"Mrs. Deeks? The nurses told me you were here."_

 _She nodded._

 _"We haven't met. I'm Lieutenant Bates."_

 _"Kensi Deeks," she told him, standing to shake his hand._

 _His eyes studied her every move, calculating and memorizing. Kensi didn't miss the way his gaze paused ever so slightly on her left hand, noting the lack of ring. She had gotten the call as she was leaving work, and had raced straight to the hospital._

 _"It's nice to meet you," he said. "I'm just sorry it couldn't be under better circumstances."_

 _"Me too."_

 _"How's our boy?"_

 _"I think he's okay. The doctor hasn't come by yet, but he was awake when I got here."_

 _"That's good."_

 _Kensi nodded as she sat back down. She motioned to the chair on the other side of the bed in case Bates wanted to sit as well. He paused, but eventually moved to sit down._

 _"Your husband is a damn good cop," Bates told her. "What happened today was...unfortunate. And unexpected. But he's making a difference every day."_

 _"I know he is," she said openly._

 _"You really seem to know," Bates responded. He eyed her, his gaze penetrating and evaluating._

 _Kensi looked towards him, suddenly wondering if she was being tested._

 _"Deeks said you work for the government? Administrative work?"_

 _Kensi didn't allow herself to give any tells by looking away. "Lots of paperwork," she added, because she had a feeling he'd see through a straight out lie. And the best covers had a big heaping of truth._

 _"Mmm." Bates responded, and Kensi didn't know if he believed her or not._

 _Deeks shifted and opened his eyes, drawing both of their attentions away from Kensi's life/cover story._

 _"Kens?"_

 _"I'm right here," she told him, squeezing his hand._

 _Deeks smiled at her and then rolled his head the other way. "Bates," he greeted._

 _"Deeks, glad you're okay."_

 _Deeks smirked and held up his free hand. "You want to hold my hand, too, sir?"_

 _Bates rolled his eyes and stood from his chair. "Don't be a smartass." He motioned to Kensi. "I'll leave you in your wife's capable hands and come check on you later."_

 _Kensi laughed when Bates let himself out of the curtained area. "You're going to be fine."_

 _"Of course I am; you're here."_

 _00_

Despite it being a weeknight, the club is surprisingly busy. And fun. It's been a long time since they've gone out dancing. Kensi plans to have only a drink or two because she has to work the next day, but one or two becomes three, which turns into five. Her husband is right there with her with each drink. He's smiling and happy, glad to be home and out with her.

The responsible adult side of her knows they should go home; knows _she_ should go home, but she just got her husband back after weeks undercover. And he's hurt, but he's having a good time. And it's so nice to be out as a married couple, not having to make up lies or keep secrets. She can wear her ring and dance pressed against her husband for hours. It's freeing.

It's close to one in the morning when they finally stumble from the club, far from being able to drive. There's already a line up for cabs. Deeks wraps his arms around her as they stand on the sidewalk together.

"Have I told you how amazing you look tonight?" He whispers in her ear.

She settles back against him, glad he likes the little black dress she chose. "Maybe once or twice."

"Okay then, I won't say it again."

She laughs out loud at his humour and turns in his arms to face him. "Well, I will. You know how much I like you in blue." She snags her pointer finger under one of the buttons on his blue shirt.

He leans in and captures her lips with his own. "I wish we were home right now." He brushes his stubbled cheek against hers. "I missed you so much."

She gasps at his lips find her neck and forces herself to press him away. There are just too many people around to be doing _this_.

He groans and pulls her close again, arms wrapping around her.

She settles against him, feeling the hard planes of his body and wanting him so badly. She releases her own groan of frustration because the line for the cabs is going to take _forever_ and she desperately needs to get him home.

She spots a sign down the street and smiles. "Marty, please tell me you have your credit card with you."

He pulls back to meet her eyes, one eyebrow raised.

She motions to the hotel sign, which makes him smile.

"Dirty thoughts, Mrs. Deeks."

"Fine, we can wait until we get home."

He coughs. "On second thought..."

"Yeah, that's what I thought." She tugs on his hand as she starts to walk down the street.

The check in is quick, and they make good use of their hotel room until falling asleep shortly before dawn.

Unfortunately, in their haste the night before, neither thought to set an alarm. She's already startlingly close to late when Marty wakes her up and the two hurry to dress, check out of the hotel and locate their car.

"I really don't have time to go home and change," Kensi says as she drives quickly towards their apartment. "I'll just have to change at work."

"You want to show up looking like that?"

She raises an eyebrow and shoots him a look as she stops at a red light.

He chokes out a laugh. "I personally think you look gorgeous and sexy," he quickly clarifies. The leering smirk he sends her confirms his thoughts. "But the walk of shame look is not exactly work appropriate."

"It may actually help with my girl with commitment issues persona."

"Ah, I remember Kensi with commitment issues fondly." He smiles at her.

She smiles back before turning her attention towards the road in time for the light to turn green. "Yeah, she didn't last long with you around."

"She was cute though," he continues. "And very determined. But no level of stubbornness is a match for my charm."

"Did you just call me stubborn?"

H coughs. "Of course not. I called Commitment-Issues-Kensi stubborn. Not Committed-Kensi. She's not stubborn at all. For instance, she's open to new things. Like learning to cook. And clean. And watch non-reality television. And movies newer than Titanic. And-"

"You do realize I don't _have_ to drive you home, right? I could kick you out of the car right here and make you walk?"

He shuts up but he's smirking at her when she glances at him.

She can't help but smile.

"And for the record, I watch all kinds of movies," she tells him. "It's just that-"

"Titanic will always be your favourite. I know." He finishes for her.

"And Top Model is awesome."

He laughs out loud and reaches his hand to squeeze her knee. "You may still have a tiny hint of stubbornness still in there."

She rolls her eyes, but can't argue. One, she knows he's right. And two, it would support his point. "As long as you're not questioning my commitment."

He squeezes her knee again. "Never."

She pulls into their parking lot and stops the car. He removes his seatbelt. "You're sure you don't want to change?"

"I'm sure. They're good guys. They'll just make a lot of jokes. And I can handle the jokes."

"Okay." He leans across the centre of the car and pulled her into a deep kiss. "I had a great night."

"Me too."

"Let me know when you're on your way home. I'll have dinner ready."

She smirks. "I knew I married you for a reason."

He rolls his eyes and kisses her one more time before getting out of the car. "Stay safe."

She twists her hands on the steering wheel, wishing she didn't have to leave him home and head into work today. After weeks without him and only one night with him, all she wants in this moment is to follow him into their apartment and spend the day with him. She sighs and shakes her head, which only makes the minor hangover rear its angry head. She huffs and smacks her hands on the steering wheel. Her left hand flashes and catches her attention.

She's still wearing her ring.

She stares at it for a moment in wonderment. Her morning routine was broken. She normally takes it off and places it into the box that lives in the top drawer of her dresser. On the odd night that she spends at her mom's, either with her husband or alone if he's undercover, she has a box at her mom's as well. But this morning there was no box and therefore no trigger to take off the ring. If she hadn't noticed, she would have gone into work wearing the ring, and after two years with her co-workers, she knows they would have honed in immediately. The fact that she would have walked in with a short black dress and high heels would have paled in comparison to the sign of commitment that would have flashed like a beacon on the finger of the agent they knew as the girl with commitment issues.

For a moment, she wishes she hadn't noticed the ring. For a moment, she wishes she could stop living the lie.

The car door opens and her husband gets back into the passenger seat. "Thought you were going to work?" He says gently.

"Thought you were going to the apartment," she retorts, though there's no bite behind it.

"I was, but you didn't move the car..."

She sighs and meets his eyes. "I'm still wearing my right," she tell him softly. "I almost went to work wearing my ring."

His gaze flashes to her ring and then back to her eyes in recognition of what that would mean. "I didn't even notice."

She slowly pulls the ring off her finger and holds it up in front of her. "Part of me wishes I didn't notice," she admits.

He sighs. "It's been more than two years," he says quietly. "I know there was a reason to keep this a secret at first... But maybe now you don't have to."

She offers him a gently smile. "Maybe." She passes the ring into his safe keeping. "But it's not a decision to make on a whim." She knows she's still reeling from her reaction to the dead undercover cop a few weeks ago and she's been working twice as hard to make herself appear single to her co-workers, which has been draining. Once her husband has had a few days to recover from his undercover, she'll tell him what's been going on and they'll decide together what they think is best. And then she'll have to run everything by Hetty.

He leans over and presses a kiss to her cheek. "You know I love you, right?"

"I love you, too."

"I'll go put this away," he says, holding up the ring with his left hand as his right pushes open the door.

"I'll see you tonight." She smiles at him. "And thanks again for last night."

"You _never_ have to thank me for _that_..." he croons as he gets out of the car and practically sashays towards their building, making her laugh.

Kensi smiles the whole drive to work.

The guys, of course, all react as expected to her outfit. Lots of comments. Lots of knowing glances. Lots of jokes.

Despite the assurance she gave her husband, she feels her cheeks heat under the attention. Thankfully, Hetty swoops in to save her, telling the guys she had been assigned to an undercover surveillance assignment overnight. Kensi knows the guys aren't going for it, but she goes along with it anyway as Hetty ushers her towards the change rooms.

"I take it your husband is home from his latest assignment," Hetty says with a knowing smile as she passes Kensi a change of clothes.

Kensi allows herself to smile back as she takes the clothes. "He's home."


	5. Pushback

Episode 1.7 - Pushback (if you squint)

After a full debriefing, Deeks is given the week off to recover from his less than auspicious undercover assignment. The bruises fade gradually from purple and blue to a lovely array of yellows and greens. Deeks grimaces as he stands before the bathroom mirror in only his boxers. After several days, his injuries are much less sensitive, but he wishes they would start to clear up and look a little less ugly.

He is enjoying spending time with his wife, but he wishes he doesn't give her cause to wince every time she sees him. He pokes at the bruises on the left side of his chest. It's the worst of the bruises, caused by several kicks, and is still relatively sensitive.

Finally, he sighs and makes his way back into the bedroom. Monty is stretched out on the foot of the bed and wags his tail when Deeks enters the room.

"You shouldn't be on the bed," Deeks tells the dog, though he makes no move to get the dog off the bed. Monty, in turn, makes no move to get off the bed.

He pulls on a pair of jeans and a tee shirt before kneeling before the bed. "Does mommy let you sleep on the bed when I'm not here and you are?"

Monty stretches and then wags his tail.

"I'll take that as a yes." He pats the dog as he smiles sadly, wishing he could be around often enough to argue with his wife over something as domestic as whether or not their dog gets to sleep on the bed. He shifts his weight and sits facing the bed.

Monty whines and moves from his side to his belly so he can lay his head down right on the edge of the bed facing Deeks.

"You're smarter than people give you credit for," Deeks tells him.

Monty wags his tail.

Deeks sighs. "Maybe we can go to the beach later when Kensi gets home?" He voices his hopeful plans for the evening. She had worked too late the night before for them to do anything other than fall asleep together. "You can run in the waves. Kensi can eat junk food for dinner." He smiles. "Everyone is happy."

Monty whines.

"I'm happy because I get to spend time with the two of you," Deeks tells him, rubbing his ears. He enjoys the challenge and excitement of his work, but the strain is becoming a lot to bear. What had started as a few one off assignments had quickly become a lineup of assignments. At first he didn't mind because he was making a difference and being recognized for his work. But as the years went on, he's started to lose his affinity for all the long term undercover assignments.

He misses his wife and his home, and he feels like he's missing out on his life.

He likes his job and he wants to keep making a difference. But he thinks maybe he's going to have to find a different way to do that eventually.

"What do you think, Monty? What should I do?"

Monty huffs.

Deeks laughs.

"I don't want to keep leaving you and Kensi."

Monty cries and presses his head into Deeks's hand.

Deeks hears the front door open, but makes no move to get up.

"Honey, I'm home," Kensi calls out. There's a muffled snorting sound as she laughs at her own joke. Just like she's done every day this week.

"Mommy thinks she's funny, huh?" Deeks asks Monty.

Monty lifts his head and is staring at the door when Kensi appears from the hallway.

She laughs at the sight of her husband sitting on the floor beneath their dog who is lying on the bed. "Is this what you two have been doing all day while I've been at work?"

"Of course not," Deeks tells her, smirking, "We also napped earlier."

Kensi laughs and moves to crouch next to him on the floor. She leans close to press a kiss to his lips and then shifts her weight to sit beside him. "You," she says, reaching to tap Monty on the nose playfully, "Are not supposed to be on the bed."

Monty whines and presses his head into the mattress. He wags his tail and makes no effort to move.

"And where do you think he picked up this little habit," Deeks says playfully.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she responds, smiling sweetly at him.

"Yeah, sure you don't." He hooks an arm around her waist and pulls her into his side. "You were the one who wanted to keep him off the bed."

She leans into him and sighs. "It's not all the time," she admits. "But sometimes when I pick him up from mom's for the weekend he gets on the bed and I just...don't have the heart to kick him off."

He hears what she doesn't say in her words and pulls her a little tighter to him. "I miss you too, Kens. Every time."

She sniffs and rests her head against his shoulder. "It's really nice having you home."

He presses his lips to the top of her head. "I wish I could be home all the time."

She tenses slightly, reacting to his tone. "Marty?"

He sighs. "I'm tired, Kens. I feel like I'm missing my life."

Kensi pulls away only far enough to meet his eyes and stares him down for a long moment. Then she shifts so she can bring both hands up to cup his still-healing face. "I would love to have you home all the time," she tells him. "But you chose this life for a reason. _We_ chose this life for a reason." She pauses and he covers her hands with his own. "You do good work, Marty Deeks and I'm proud of you for it."

00

 _Having the last name of 'Deeks' had been both a blessing and a curse during the graduation ceremony. For one, he hadn't had to wait very long to be called up and presented with his law school diploma. And when he had, it made all the years of hard work and shitty jobs to pay for it worthwhile. Especially when his ever perfect and supportive wife was there, standing out from the crowd, camera in hand, smiling proudly. Unfortunately, after the elation of the presentation, he had to wait in his seat as E through Z received their diplomas as well._

 _At the end of the ceremony, music played and he followed a choreographed pathway led by A through C into a catered luncheon area. E through Z followed. And then they were joined by an entire alphabet of family and friends._

 _While many of his fellow graduates had multiple guests - parents, siblings, spouses, aunts, uncles, cousins, kids - he had only one._

 _It took him nearly ten minutes to actually locate his wife in the unorganized throngs of happy people._

 _A hand finally grabbed onto the back of his gown as he was making his third lap of the room, stopping him in his tracks. He turned to find his wife smiling up at him, her eyes sparkling._

 _"There you are! Finally found you."_

 _She rolled her eyes. "You didn't find me._ I _found_ you."

 _"Always one upping me."_

 _Kensi laughed and reached to hook her fingers around the neck line of his graduation gown. She tugged him down to her level and pressed her lips to his._

 _Deeks snaked his arm around her waist as he kissed her back, balancing his new diploma between them in his other hand._

 _"Congratulations," she mumbled against his lips when she broke the kiss. She kept hold of his gown, keeping him at her level and pressed her forehead against his. "I love you so much."_

 _"I love you, too."_

 _"You just...you're a_ lawyer _."_

 _He huffed a laugh. "Well, I have to pass the bar first. But close."_

 _"You know you're going to pass. Just look at what you accomplished to get here? You did more and overcame more than most of the people you graduated with today, Marty. I'm just..." She trailed off and sighed. She released her grip from his gown and moved both hands to his shoulders, and moved a few inches back so she could meet his eyes._

 _"I am_ so _proud of you."_

00

He releases a shuddery breath and leans his forehead to hers. She's the only person who has ever been proud of him. And that means the world to him.

"If you're done with undercover work, that's okay," she continues. "I will support that." She pauses as her voice catches. "But don't make a snap decision, okay? You always feel bad after an assignment ends like this."

He knows how much she misses him when he's gone, mostly because he misses her just as much. And he knows how hard it must be for her not to help lead him down the path to leaving undercover work behind. "You're pretty amazing, you know that?"

She sniffs. "I try."

"I like being here with you," he whispers.

On the bed, Monty whines, drawing laughs from both Kensi and Deeks.

"I like being here with you, too, Monty," Deeks tells the dog. He reaches to pet Monty on the head and then presses a kiss to Kensi's temple. "Monty and I were talking before you got home. We want to know if you want to head to the beach this evening?"

She sits up straight beside him and when he catches her eye, he has to smile because her eyes are sparkling. "Food trucks for dinner?"

He has to laugh. "Do you think of anything other than your stomach?"

She elbows him, but that just makes him laugh harder.

"Shut up!" She demands of him as she jumps to her feet. "Come on, Monty. Let's go to the beach!"

Monty jumps off the bed, wagging his tail excitedly.

Deeks is still smiling as he stands to follow his family.

Two hours later, he and Kensi are walking hand in hand along the beach. The sun is starting to set, but there's still plenty of light to talk by. Monty is trotting along beside them along the edge of the water, playing in the waves. Kensi has a half eaten ice cream cone in her free hand. The beach is relatively quiet this time of night, but the temperature is still holding out relatively warm.

Kensi affectionately bumps his shoulder as they walk together. Deeks glances at her and has to smile at her inability to hide her own smile. He sighs and realizes he doesn't think he's ever been quite so content.

"Did I tell you I won ten bucks today?"

He raises an eyebrow. "How?" He only gets to know the basics of her job due to the classified nature of her work, but he's pretty sure there's nothing he can think of that would lead to her winning money.

"My co-workers bet me I couldn't get a building manager to offer me an apartment rental under the table for cash in less than a minute."

He laughs. "Less than a minute, really?"

"Less than forty seconds, actually."

"If you won ten bucks, why did I buy your ice cream?"

She smirks and bumps his hip with hers. "Because you love me."

"Ah, I knew there had to be some reason." He drops her hand to hook his arm around her waist. "So, why were you trying to get a rental apartment? Not planning on leaving me, right?" He jokes.

She rolls her eyes and doesn't even bother responding to his second question. "There was a dead woman connected to...a case." She makes a face and he waves off that part of the explanation, knowing she cannot divulge any further. "Anyway, he said he didn't know she was there and we didn't believe him."

He nods. "Less than forty seconds."

She smiles. "Less than forty seconds."

He smiles proudly. "That's my girl."

00

 _ **AN: So, I'm putting a call out for some help! I have two questions I'm hoping someone can help me with...**_

 _ **1- I had a wonderful reader mention that ECO (who plays Deeks) accidentally wore his wedding ring while filming once. Apparently the ring is briefly visible on the show for a second. Does anyone remember this? Can anyone at the very least narrow down when this may have occurred?**_

 _ **2 - A couple websites list Kensi's birthday as July 29, 1982. Do we actually know this from the show? Does anyone remember when/how this was declared?**_

 _ **Thanks a million!**_


	6. Ambush

_**AN: Thanks so much to everyone who sent reviews and PMs in the last chapter about Kensi's birthday and ECO wearing his wedding ring. For those interested to know, apparently Kensi's birthday is shown in Spoils of War when Kensi's personnel file is shown - I'm taking everyone's word for it. I have a fair sized TV, but there is no way I can read anything on that file...lol. Also, ECO did wear his wedding ring in episode 4.4 (Dead Body Politic) about 25 mins in. Can be seen for a couple seconds - made me laugh because it's quite obvious and I can't believe I didn't notice it on my own.**_

 _ **Unfortunately, watching episode 4.4 led to a new question... Deeks mentions in the episode he ran for class president in 1995 (presumably during the 1995-1996 school year) and then took the winner's little sister to prom. At least where I went to school, class president and prom were only for seniors. (Though I do know some American schools at least have junior and senior proms). With Deeks being born in 1979, I have him graduating high school in 1997 (at 18), not 1996. So, I guess I'm asking (especially to American readers familiar with American school systems), am I wrong?**_

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Episode 1.8 - Ambush

Kensi is fuming as she stands in front of the bathroom mirror, her fingers trailing along the angry red line that circumnavigates her neck. She had been out investigating a suspect with Renko when the suspect got the drop on her, garroting her with a thin rope. She had managed to break free and was in the process of taking down the suspect when Renko arrived to help.

They are letting the suspect stew in the interrogation room for the time being. Kensi is doing her own stewing. She _hates_ being caught unaware by the bad guys. She _hates_ being injured in any form. She _hates_ that she's marked with an angry red line around her neck and that her throat feels raspy and raw.

She blinks furiously against a sudden stinging in her eyes that is most definitely _not_ tears. Because Agent Kensi Blye absolutely does not cry. And she most especially does not cry because of minor physical injury. She moves forward, heals and learns from her experiences. She will not leave herself exposed like that again.

She remembers the first time she had been injured on the job. She'd been a young, new agent, working out of the LA Field office. Her time in the field was grossly outweighed by her time in the office. She had ended up in the field with her team leader at the time late one night, tracking down a suspect. It had been too quiet, making the hair on the back of her neck stand on end, but when she voiced her opinion, her team leader had shot her down. After that night, she'd never doubted her intuition again because only a minute later they had been ambushed.

She'd held her own when the bullets started flying, but when her team leader went down with a bullet to the vest she had hesitated and that hesitation had cost her. She had been disarmed and overpowered and took a hell of a beating. What saved her that night was the bad guys underestimating her. Running solely on adrenaline, she had managed to procure a weapon off a bad guy, take him down and then take down the other three. And then, while fighting to remain conscious against the pull of a concussion, she had called in the ambush and dragged her team leader to a safer position. She had managed to stay conscious until backup arrived, but as soon as the scene was secured, she was out. When she woke up, she was in the hospital with her husband beside her.

00

 _Kensi drew in a shaky breath as she gradually became aware of sounds around her. Footsteps and disembodied voices and rhythmic beeping. She furrowed her brow because - seriously - her head was pounding. She tried to open her eyes, but it was so bright. She raised her hand to shield her eyes against the onslaught of the light._

 _"There you are," a very familiar and very comforting voice crooned to her right. She tilted her head as his hand came to brush through her hair._

 _"Marty," she whispered. "I... I'm..." she trailed off and made a face because she wasn't really sure what she was trying to say._

 _His hand brushed comfortingly along her forehead and the crown of her head. She allowed herself to sink back against the pillow because it was really making her feel better. "Shh," he whispered. "You're okay."_

 _"I think I hit my head."_

 _He exhaled a laughing breath. "Yeah, you definitely did. They told me you've been conscious a few times, but confused."_

 _"Mmm, don't remember."_

 _"No, you probably won't. They gave you some pain meds, too. You're..." he trailed off and she could hear him take a shaky breath. "You're pretty roughed up, Kens."_

 _She forced her eyes open and had to blink several times to filter the light enough to actually make out her husband's features. His brow was furrowed with concern and his eyes were dark. He looked like he was struggling just to sit there beside her. "I'm sorry," she whispered._

 _"No," he choked out. "No, Kens, you don't get to be sorry. From what I hear you were a hero tonight. I just... I love you," he told her. "I love you so much that it hurts to see you like this, to know you may not have come home to me."_

 _She felt tears sting her eyes. "I always want to come home to you, Marty." She sighed and fought to keep her eyes open. "I'm okay," she told him. "I'll be okay."_

 _He stood and leaned over the bed to press a soft kiss to her lips. "I know. Now let yourself sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."_

 _She closed her eyes and squeezed his hand. "One more thing."_

 _"Of course there is, Little Miss Stubborn."_

 _"That's Mrs. Stubborn to you."_

 _He actually laughed. "Mrs. Stubborn," he corrected. "What's the last thing?"_

 _"That I love you, too."_

 _He squeezed her hand tightly. "Saving the best for last, huh?"_

00

Pulling her thoughts back to the present, Kensi straightens her spine and stares herself down in the mirror. She silently tells herself what happened that morning was minor and she will learn from it. Because Kensi Deeks does not back down. With a nod at herself in the mirror, she turns and strides from the bathroom and into the main room of the boatshed.

Nate and Renko are sitting at the table when she appears.

"You good?" Renko asks.

"Fine."

He accepts her answer with a nod and tosses her a small jar, which she catches easily. "Found that in the first aid kit," he tells her. "Should help with the...redness."

She knows he caught himself before alluding to her being in any sort of discomfort and she stares down at the small jar of cream in her hand for a long moment before allowing herself to nod. "Thanks," she tells him. She takes a seat and twists open the jar.

"Are you sure you don't need medical attention?" Nate asks.

She glares at him as she dips a fingers into the jar and retrieves a glob of the cream. She doesn't bother to acknowledge his question with an answer as she begins to rub the cream along the red line around her neck.

Nate waits until she's done before trying again. "I'm only trying to help, Kensi," he says gently. "If Hetty were here-"

"If Hetty were here she'd leave me alone to do my job," she snaps at the operational psychologist. She hopes she's right. Besides, even though Hetty is in Washington at a congressional hearing, Kensi would bet she still knows everything that's going on with her team.

"You should at least-"

"I'm fine, Nate."

"Leave her alone," Renko adds.

Kensi shoots Renko a grateful look as Nate finally backs down.

At the end of the day, however, she discovers that his backing down was only temporary. Because after the team set up an operation to infiltrate a militia group, and after that operation had gone badly, and after they had rescued both Callen and Sam from the militia group, Nate corners Kensi as she's trying to leave OPs at the end of the day.

The moment she meets his eyes, she knows he still wants to talk about her run in with their suspect from that morning. "Nate, I really just want to go home." Her neck is sore and she's exhausted now that the adrenaline surge from saving Callen and Sam has completely worn off.

"I'm concerned about letting you go home alone tonight."

She forces herself to keep a steady gaze and not give any clues to the very astute psychologist that she won't be alone. She wonders briefly if he's testing her with his choice of words. From her experience, he's intuitive but not sneaky.

He stares at her and she sees his gaze flicker ever so slightly.

"Like I said before, I'm fine."

"I'm only here because I care, Kensi," he says softly.

She sighs and runs a hand through her hair. She really just wants to get home to her husband and her dog. She wants a hot shower and some take out and to let her husband make her forget all the stresses of her day. Things are finally getting back to normally...or at least their version of normal. She had given him some time to recover from his bad undercover operation, and then she had told him about how she had found out about the dead undercover cop and how she had thought it could be him and how she had reacted. She had told him how vulnerable she had felt and how her team _hadn't even known_.

They'd discussed the pros and cons of her telling her team. They'd also discussed his newest revelations about his job. He always had the same feelings when he came off a bad undercover, but she believed him when he said this time just felt different. She had noticed this life grating on him for a while. In the end, they had decided to give themselves some time to let things get back to normal and then revisit both subjects. Neither decision needed to be made right away, and both decisions were important and couldn't be made lightly.

"Would you be having this conversation if I was Callen or Sam, or Renko or Dom?" She challenges.

He leans back ever so slightly. "I'm sorry?"

"This is a _minor_ injury, Nate. And I can't help but think you seem awfully determined to prove I'm not as capable as the rest of the team. Because if it was any of the _men_ on this team, you'd leave them alone." It may be petty, but she's exhausted and sore and just needs Nate off her back for today. She can deal with him tomorrow.

"Okay, that's not fair," he calls her on her comments. "I know you're just as capable as any other agent, Kensi. I've never treated you any different."

She crosses her arms over her chest. "Then why are you singling me out when we both know Callen and Sam have both been far more injured than this and not been forced to seek any sort of medical attention."

"It's my job to monitor each member of the team. And you seemed...affected this morning."

"I was angry at myself, okay? I shouldn't have let him get the drop on me."

"It's not your job to be perfect, you know? It's your job to react and respond."

"Yeah, well sometimes that's not good enough."

"Today it was. You got the upper hand. You and Renko apprehended the suspect. And later, you saved Callen and Sam."

"I still shouldn't have let him get the drop on me in the first place."

"Again, you're not expected to be perfect."

"I appreciate what you're saying, Nate." And she does. Only, it's not just about her. She needs to be at the top of her game because her husband relies on her to come home in one piece just as much as she relies on the same of him. And every time he comes home from an assignment injured it scares her. And it also reminds her how important her own safety is to him. They long ago agreed not to dwell on the dangers of their jobs because the stress would destroy them, but that doesn't mean it doesn't sometimes get to her.

He narrows his eyes at her and she feels like he's _inside_ her brain, discovering her secrets. She shakes her head. "Are we done?"

He nods slowly. "Go home and get some rest."

"See you tomorrow."

When she gets home, it's late. Her husband is sitting on the couch with Monty sprawled next to him when she opens the front door.

"Hey!" He calls. "Long day?"

She shuts the door and leans back against it as she stares at him. "You could say that."

He cocks his head and stands. As he gets closer, his eyes narrow, his attention focused on her neck. "What-?"

She cuts him off by pressing her lips to his. She doesn't want to talk. She just him to make her forget the stress of her day. She just wants to _feel_ and not think.

He kisses her back and hooks an arm around her middle as he guides her away from the front door. Together, they stumble towards the couch and fall together in a heap with Deeks sitting and Kensi straddling his thighs.

Monty huffs his discontent at being woken up and moves to curl on the end of the couch.

Deeks huffs a laugh against her lips and then deepens the kiss. His hands snake their way under her shirt. She trembles slightly as his fingers dance over the skin of her ribcage. She moans into his mouth and presses herself against him.

Eventually, his hands move down and hook onto the bottom of her shirt before heading up again, tugging the material with them. She groans her displeasure when the removal of her shirt involves a momentary removal of his lips from hers. He mumbles something which is probably supposed to be soothing, but it's muffled through the shirt over her head, and then she's free and reaching for the hem of his shirt.

He has to lean forward for her to pull his shirt off, canting her back, but they've long since perfected making out on the couch. She doesn't worry, knowing his strong arms will be behind her for balance. She tosses the shirt to the side in her frenzy to _be closer_.

The shirt lands on Monty, who huffs and jumps off the couch.

Deeks's chest heaves against hers as he laughs at the dog's reaction.

Normally Kensi would be right there with him, finding humour in their peeved dog, but she just can't find the energy to care. She just needs to forget. She needs him to help her forget.

She presses into him and deepens the kiss, desperate for every touch. The skin to skin contact has helped, but it's just not enough. She needs _more_. Her husband is meeting her every move, but he's prolonging this part. He's not helping to move them forward. And she just needs to not think for a little while.

When breathing eventually becomes difficult, Kensi pulls back and presses her forehead to his as they pant into the shared space between their lips. Her breaths are shuddery in contrast to the even rise and fall of his chest against hers.

His fingers flirt over her neck. "What happened?" He murmurs. His free hand is running up and down her spine. He's not pressing her. He's leaving the ball in her court to answer the question or return them to their earlier activities.

"Guy came up behind me with a rope." She closes her eyes and presses herself as close to him as she can get. She doesn't think she can get close enough.

He sighs and lets his hands fall to her hips. He swallows hard and she can practically feel him suppressing his own emotions just like she had done earlier. "You okay?" His voice is a little rough, but there's no judgment. He's not aiming to make her feel guilty about her job.

"Yeah. Mad at myself more than anything." She sighs and feels her body tremble slightly against his. Now that the frenzy is going away, she feels shaky. She decides she hates today. She got herself into trouble because she wasn't paying attention. And she almost watched two co-workers die. And she spent far too much time on an adrenaline surge. And the subsequent down off the adrenaline high and relief at Callen and Sam being okay, added to the knowledge that her lack of attention could have led to her husband losing her this morning because the guy that garroted her _would have killed her_ given the chance, and... Kensi _really_ hates today.

His hands tighten against her hips. He doesn't ask anything more from her, but she knows he wants to know every single detail. She knows because when it's him, she wants to know.

"It probably looks worse than it is," she whispers. "I should have been paying more attention," she tells him honestly. Because she'll never lie to him about something this important. "But I did get the upper hand pretty quickly. And my co-worker was right there." She adds to reassure him.

"You kick his ass?"

She's surprised that she actually huffs a laugh. "Of course."

He tilts his head to press a quick kiss to her lips. "That's my girl."

"I'll learn from it," she assures. "I'll be more aware next time."

He nods. "I know." He offers her a soft smile. "It's the life _we_ chose, Kens. The good and the bad." His gaze flickers to her neck and then back to her eyes. "I hate when you get hurt, but I knew what I was signing up for. And I know you're more than capable."

"No regrets?"

"No regrets." He shakes his head and there's not an ounce of doubt in his eyes.

She settles her weight onto his thighs and leans forward, resting her head into the crook of his neck. He hugs her tight and for a minute they just rest there together. She can feel that he's less tense now and she's glad she could offer him some comfort, just like he did to her.

Deeks eventually breaks the silence. "You get dinner?"

"Not yet."

"I have leftover pizza in the fridge. I can reheat it for you."

She smiles and presses a kiss to his neck before sitting upright. "That sounds perfect. But first I really need a shower."

He nods and keeps his hands on her as she stands. When she steps back and his hands fall away, she catches them and tugs playfully. "You want to join me?"

He smirks. "I _always_ want to join you."

She actually laughs as he takes over and tugs _her_ towards the shower.


	7. Random on Purpose

_**AN: This chapter revolves around episode 1.9 (Random on Purpose), which was the season one episode where Abby (from NCIS) went to LA to catch a serial killer. There's a fair bit of descriptive prose because I had to explain at least the basics of what was going on from what happened in the episode, so my apologies there. However, the plot of the episode was important to the plot of this chapter, and sets some things in motion. The first being some Kensi/Dom partner stuff. The second being something I didn't exactly expect this soon, but Kensi who is hiding something herself would be more aware of her teammates...**_

 _ **00**_

Episode 1.9 - Random on Purpose

Kensi's morning doesn't start well.

Her husband is working regular cases at his precinct as he waits for his next undercover operation to be assigned. He's restless during the night and at four thirty in the morning, he presses a kiss to her bare shoulder and whispers that he's going to work to look over his case.

She wakes alone a few hours later and drags her tired body out of bed. The text from her husband that comes in as she's getting ready ( _You married a genius!_ ) makes her laugh, but doesn't quite make up for the fact that she tries and fails to make herself breakfast. By the time she gives up, she's too late to go to any of her three choice coffee shops, so she stops at the one on the way to work, which has mediocre coffee and is out of her favourite donuts.

And then, when she gets to work, she discovers Hetty has rearranged their bullpen from one large and shared table to assigned desks. She's told her things had been cleared from the bullpen and placed into a trash bag which she was to take home.

Needless to say, she's not happy. She does not like change. And she likes having her things around her.

The case of the day is to investigate a naval engineer who was murdered in his daughter's nursery in his home.

Callen and Sam take her lead as they investigate the crime scene because she is the forensic expert. Only...there aren't any forensics. No fibres. No fingerprints. Nothing. She is frustrated and confused, searching in vain for _anything_ when Sam wanders away from her and Callen to the baby's change table and picks up the stuffed bear that's sitting on it. He checks the back and smiles.

"Nanny cam," he says, holding up the stuffed bear.

"With a front row seat," Callen adds, nodding to his partner.

The video shows a limited view of the attack. Kensi is glad Sam found the nanny cam, but as the crime scene expert, she wishes she had thought to look more closely at the stuffed animal. She makes a mental note to remember this situation for next time.

As it turns out, Abby Scuito, the NCIS forensic specialist from Washington, has a theory about a serial killer whose MO is picking random victims and leaving no forensics. Abby is sent from Washington to help out with the investigation.

From the nanny cam video, they discover the killer wears a full body suit, so they take Abby to the crime scene to investigate further. By the end of the day, Abby finds evidence that further supports her 'phantom killer' theory.

By the time they realize the phantom is very real and specifically chose the naval engineer to draw Abby to LA, Abby has already been abducted.

With the clock ticking, they manage to track the phantom serial killer to a law firm through delivery of the special suits, but don't have the time to wait on a warrant to find out who at the law firm actually took delivery of the suits. They make a plan to get Sam into the law firm to break into a computer to obtain the information.

The plan is Kensi and Callen making a scene in reception first thing in the morning as a very unhappy married couple looking for a divorce. That way Sam can slip by as a security guard.

Hetty dresses Kensi in a business type dress and heels. She's combing her fingers through her hair in the mirror by the dressing rooms when Callen comes out in dark slacks, a button down and a leather jacket.

"This should be fun," he mutters, joining her in the mirror. "I really hate these shoes."

"Try wearing heels," she retorts.

He chuckles.

"You two look like the perfectly unhappy married couple," Hetty says as she appears out of nowhere. She passes Kensi a clutch purse to match her outfit. "Here you go, dear."

Kensi takes the purse and makes a face. "What am I supposed to do with this? It's not even big enough to fit my gun." She says as she and Callen follow Hetty towards the bullpen where the team is waiting.

Callen laughs. "You definitely sound like my kind of girl," he jokes. "Why are we getting divorced?"

She shoots him a glare. "Nothing I'm doing wrong. It's all you."

Sam chuckles. "Yup. Definitely screaming soon-to-be-divorced couple."

Hetty nods. "Don't forget these." She holds out her hand.

Callen accepts what she's giving and opens his palm to present a set of matching wedding bands and an engagement ring. He lifts the engagement ring with a twinkle in his eyes. "What do you say, Kens? Will you marry me?"

She rolls her eyes and snatches the ring from his fingers. "Give me that. And the other one." She holds out her hand.

"Aren't you going to put that one on?" He prods her. "Or is even the idea of fake commitment too much for you?"

She does her best not to react to his statement. "You wear the wedding band first and then the engagement ring," she announces without thinking of the consequences.

Immediately, all the men she works with every day fall silent and stare at her. Inwardly, she curses. After spending weeks putting extra effort into getting any extra suspicion off herself, she may have just opened herself back up. Time to step up her game again.

"Uh...how do you know that?" Eric eventually asks. Nate's staring at her like he has the same question, but after their little spat the previous week, he's not comfortable asking.

" _Why_ do you know that?" Sam adds.

She grabs the wedding band from Callen in his distraction and forces it onto her ring finger. "I do have married friends, you know," she says, using putting on the rings as an excuse to avoid eye contact. Sometimes the best lies include a heaping of truth. She _does_ have married friends.

The rings themselves are large and sparkly; bigger than hers. Hetty has clearly chosen them to match the trophy wife persona she is supposed to be. She stares at the set for a moment and decides she doesn't like them. They're too fancy. She makes a fist and then stretches her fingers. She does find that she enjoys having the familiar weight on her finger.

She looks up and finds the team still staring at her. "What?" She snaps.

"Nothing," Callen says quickly. "Now, let's go get a divorce."

They drive to the law office together and she goes in first. She introduces herself to the receptionist and tells her she wants _every penny_. She takes a seat right as Callen comes through the door. He acts surprised to see her. They argue over who gets to use the law firm to represent them in their divorce. She stands and they yell at each other. He accuses her of infidelity and she yells louder. They had hoped this would be enough for the receptionist to call security, but apparently it's not. Kensi grabs the vase of flowers off the desk and throws it at Callen, knowing he will easily dodge it. He does and then grabs her and they struggle. Security is finally called and as she and Callen are being escorted out of the office, she catches sight of Sam making his way into the law firm dressed as a security guard.

Once escorted off the premises, she and Callen walk out of view together.

"That was fun," Callen says. "I always thought divorce would be worse than that. But we should do it again some time."

She rolls her eyes.

"Nice touch with the flowers, by the way."

"Did you really have to accuse me of sleeping with the pool boy?"

"Don't forget the gardener. If it was just the pool boy, I probably could have forgiven you, but-"

She elbows him, but it just makes him laugh harder.

"You did good in there," he tells her when he's done laughing. "Let's just hope that if either of us ever do get married it's happier than that."

Kensi leaves Callen to wait for Sam and heads back to OPs alone. She glances at the unfamiliar rings as she drives, her thoughts on Callen's words. On one hand, she's glad she has him fooled because he doesn't seem to have any inkling of her personal life, whereas she still dodges Nate whenever she can and Dom has that intuitive look he gives her once in a while that makes her wonder how much he really sees. On the other hand, she wishes she could be open with the fact that she _is_ married and she _is_ happy. Despite her background and her husband's background, her marriage is good and strong and happy.

00

 _She didn't stop smiling for the entire walk back from the beach to their small studio apartment._

 _Deeks kept shooting her love drunk looks that would make her blush and lean into him. More than once on the long walk he had stopped them to press a kiss to her temple. Her cheek. Her lips._

 _The moment they were in the door, the air around them became frenzied. Hands and lips were everywhere as clothes were strewn off. He guided her back onto the bed while letting very little space between them._

 _She buried her fingers in his hair and pulled his lips back to hers._

 _"You said yes," he murmured between kisses._

 _"Of course. Yes." She managed to murmur back._

 _Later, when things were less frenzied and she lay cuddled against his chest wearing only his ring, he threaded their fingers together._

 _"I wanted to take you somewhere fancy," he admitted._

 _She tilted her head to press a kiss to his chest. "The beach was perfect."_

 _"I wish..." He trailed off._

 _She lifted her head to meet his eyes. While she had some money left by her father, he had no family to support him, financially or otherwise. They both relied heavily on scholarships and multiple part time jobs to augment their student loans._

 _"I don't wish anything, Marty. This is perfect. We don't need anything other than what we have."_

 _"I just want you to have a good life."_

 _She reached a hand to cup his cheek as she met his eyes. "I have a great life, Marty. And that's because of you."_

 _"I love you."_

 _"I love you, too." She settled back down against his chest._

 _"We're going to have a good life," he whispered. "Maybe when I'm done being a public defender I'll be a prosecutor. You can be the badass federal agent who arrests the bad guys and I can send them to jail."_

 _She laughed at the thought and nodded. "We're going to have a great life."_

00

When she returns to OPs, Kensi changes and then hurries upstairs to join Dom and Eric. They're both working hard to track down the serial killer who has Abby. Eric has managed to find a live stream video feed of Abby where she is being kept, which is playing on the large screen and serving as a good incentive to work as hard and as fast as possible.

She jumps onto a free computer to Dom's right. "Where are we at?" She asks.

Eric and Dom quickly fill her in.

Dom glances at her and then glances again, his gaze holding longer. She catches this movement out of the corner of her eye and shoots him a glare. "What?"

"I, uh, nothing." He turns to focus back on his computer.

With time running short, they track down a dozen locations Abby could be at. Callen and Sam take half and assign her and Dom to take the other half. They jump up and hurry down the stairs.

Dom hesitates as they stop to grab their things before heading out.

"What?" She asks again, softer this time.

He hesitates and then glances at her left hand. "You, uh, forgot to take off the rings."

Kensi startles as she glances down at her own hand and sees she has, in fact, forgotten to take off the rings. She's so used to the weight she didn't notice. She pulls them off now and places them on her desk.

Together, she and Dom run for the car and she jumps into the drivers' seat. Once on the road and heading towards the first location, she sighs and glances at Dom.

"I didn't want to lose them," she tells him. "The rings. So, I wore them back from the assignment. Then I guess I forgot to take them off."

He glances at her and nods. "Okay."

She offers a quick, awkward smile. "Hetty would kill me, you know? If I lost them."

He smiles back. "I know."

The first location is empty. As is the second. She's getting frustrated and anxious as she calls in the third bust to Eric only to hear Callen and Sam are having the same bad luck. Dom is right there with her with the frustration when she tells him Abby hasn't been found yet. They hurry to location number four. They arrive at the warehouse and hurry to check the building, cautious that it could house a serial killer.

Dom is following her lead, but gaining confidence. He moves well in this kind of situation and Kensi is confident he'll have her back if the need arises. Unfortunately, number four is a bust.

They're on their way to location number five when Eric calls to say Callen and Sam have found the correct location. Abby is safe.

Kensi and Dom both release a breath of relief.

"Thank God," Dom says.

Kensi almost laughs as she nods her agreement and slows the car to a reasonable speed. She turns to head back to OPs.

"You did good," she tells Dom.

"Except we didn't actually accomplish anything."

She smiles to herself, knowing Dom is desperate to prove himself. She remembers the feeling. "Yeah, but sometimes that's what this job is. The important thing is that you were prepared to respond if needed." She pauses and glances at him, but he still doesn't look convinced. "I felt like you had my back," she adds. This draws a smile.

They meet up with Callen, Sam and Abby back at OPs. Abby is, thankfully, unharmed and ecstatic that she's solved fifteen murders.

Kensi and Dom are assigned to reach out to the local law enforcement agencies who handled each murder to advise them of the new developments. Once this is complete and all reports filed, she finally gets to go home after spending about thirty hours at work.

She retrieves the trash bag of her things that were confiscated from the bullpen when the desks were changed and heads home.

It's mid-afternoon by the time she gets home, but she's too tired to do much of anything. She drops the trash bag in the living room, takes Monty for a quick walk, has the world's fastest shower and then crashes face first onto the bed.

She doesn't know what time it is when she's pulled back into consciousness.

Deeks is sitting on the edge of the bed beside her hip, rubbing her back. "Kens," he whispers.

She groans and rolls onto her back. "Time's it?"

He smiles down at her. "Almost eight."

She sighs and runs a hand through her hair.

"I made dinner. Did you want to eat or just go back to sleep?"

She considers the option for a moment. Sleep is pulling at her, but she's barely eaten for two days and she realizes now that she's _starving_. "Food," she mumbles.

He chuckles and helps her to sit up.

She leans against him for a moment. "How long have you been home?"

"A couple hours. Found you asleep and knew you'd be exhausted after being stuck at work all night. Wanted to give you as much time to sleep as possible."

"I appreciate that."

"Also, I found a bag of your things in the living room. You're not leaving me, right?"

She laughs, knowing he's joking. "Never," she declares.

He twists and ducks his head to kiss her.

"They changed the bullpen at work," she tells him. "Gave us assigned desks and bagged up all our things."

He raises an eyebrow. "You had that much stuff at work?"

She elbows him playfully. "You know I like my stuff. And I'm going to take most of it back. I'll just have to take a little bit at a time."

He laughs. "That's my girl."

She laughs with him and then lets him tug her to her feet and into the kitchen. She helps him plate their dinner and sits across from him at the table.

"So, how was your day?" She asks. "Or, two days?"

He shrugs. "Made some progress on my case. Did some paperwork."

She nods.

"You?"

She cocks her head as she considers how much she can share. "We caught a serial killer."

"Of course you did," he says dryly. "Your days were so much cooler than mine," he whines.

She laughs. "Solved fifteen murders," she rubs it in. "Guy wore this special suit so as not to leave forensic clues."

"Smart."

She nods. "And do you know how we figured that out? His last victim was killed in his daughter's nursery and had a nanny cam hidden in a stuffed bear which filmed the murder. The killer didn't know it was there."

"In a stuffed bear?" He purses his lips, considering. "Huh. I wouldn't have thought to look there."

"I didn't either," she admits. "It was one of my co-workers."

"Does he have kids? Seems like something I wouldn't think to look for unless I'd done it," Deeks says nonchalantly.

"No, he doesn't have..." She trails off as it occurs to her that she doesn't actually know that Sam doesn't have kids. He's never mentioned having kids, but he's never denied it either. It suddenly occurs to her that she's been so busy avoiding conversations about personal lives to hide her own marriage that she actually has no idea what her co-workers may be hiding.

Callen's a defined lone wolf. She visited him in the hospital after he was shot several months ago, and there had been no hints of any family. And he was definitely interested in that secret service agent from a recent case. She's pretty sure he can't be hiding a family.

Dom's young and she knows he just finished school and then FLETC. She doubts he's had enough time to live to hide a family, though having married in college herself, she knows it's possible.

Nate's been unable to hide the fact that he has a crush on Rose, the coroner, for a year, so she's pretty sure he's not hiding anything.

But Sam's a different story. She can't think of a single thing that tells her he _doesn't_ have a home life similar to hers.

Hetty is the same. Other than the fact that she is _always_ at the mission, for all Kensi knows, she could be a lifelong loner or she could have a husband and a dozen kids and fifty grandkids.

Eric...she's not sure about Eric. He talks about dating. But so does Kensi, as part of her Hetty assigned cover. He'd have less reason to hide a personal life, seeing as he's not a field agent and never leaves the building. But still...something to think about.

"I don't think he has kids," she finally tells her husband. "I don't think any of them have families."

He cocks his head and considers her. He knows she hides their marriage at work, knows the reason and understands. "But you've never thought about it," he perceives.

"No. I've never thought about it. But I'm thinking about it now."

00

 _ **AN: I've had a few questions/comments about certain scenes in earlier chapters, so I thought (for those who haven't seen or don't remember season 1) I'd mention - the scene between Kensi and Callen where they go undercover as a very unhappy married couple looking for a divorce actually happened in this episode. As did the bullpen being changed and Kensi being told to take home her stuff. As did Sam being the one to find the nanny cam in the stuffed bear.**_

 _ **In previous chapters, if you're interested...**_

 _ **Chapter 3 - In episode 1.2, an UC cop was killed by his dirty partner.**_

 _ **Chapter 4 - In episode 1.3, Kensi talks about not doing second date. In episode 1.4, she shows up to work in last night's dress.**_

 _ **Chapter 5 - In episode 1.5, Callen bets her ten bucks she can't get info from a building manager in less than a minute.**_


	8. Brimstone

Episode 1.10 - Brimstone.

Kensi's not used to being the first to arrive in the morning, but she takes advantage of the quiet to work at getting caught up on some case notes. Deeks had gone in early to work on his most recent case, so she had headed into work at the same time. It was always good to switch up her routine, even if that meant getting to work extra early. She could have used the time to work out in the gym, but she decided the work out she and her husband had shared that morning would suffice.

Instead, she settles at her desk with a large cup of coffee and a donut (or three). An hour (half a cup of coffee and two donuts) later, she's finished three reports and is just starting the fourth when Dom appears from the hallway.

"Morning," she calls.

"Morning," he responds as he takes a seat at his desk. Dom taps the top of his laptop before lifting the lid and turning it on. "No case?"

She shakes her head. "Not yet. I'm just catching up on some reports. I assume you're up to date?"

Dom offers a sheepish smile and nods.

Kensi smiles. She knows he stays late each night to finish all paperwork. He wants so much to prove himself. "I know I've said it before, but I'll say it again. It's okay to finish your paperwork the next day as long as it's not a priority case. Technically, all case paperwork is due the following Monday."

"I know. It's just..." He trails off.

Kensi nods and waves a hand. "You don't have to explain. I remember what it was like."

Dom considers her for a moment. "I just really want to make this work," he finally tells her.

"You're doing a good job."

He offers a self-deprecating smile. "I don't think Sam thinks so."

"Sam expects the best of himself. And of everyone else. He's only pushing you so you'll be safe." She knows they've had this conversation before, but she also knows Sam's not exactly out there about to dole out compliments to counter his custom brand of coaching. And Callen's not about to dole out many comments at all; good or bad. And Nate's far too analytical. He notices everything, but says little without being asked. And Eric's too oblivious. So she feels it falls to her to be the one to offer Dom encouragement.

"If Sam thought you didn't belong here, you wouldn't be here," she tells him bluntly. "Technically, Callen is the team leader, but Sam is his partner, so if Sam said you needed to go, you would go. They're hiding from you that the last three probationary agents washed out." She gives him a moment to let that sink in. "But I think that's information you can handle. Because none of them lasted more than three weeks. And you've been here for more than four months."

Dom sits back in his chair at her news.

"You're doing a good job," she repeats. "And if anyone thought you weren't you wouldn't be here. But people aren't going to stop pushing you, so stop thinking that means something bad."

He still looks too overwhelmed to respond, so Kensi goes back to doing her work. After a minute, Dom releases a breath and offers a quiet, "Thank you."

She shrugs and smiles at him. "And don't wash out. Because I've been waiting for a partner for a long time."

He smiles at that. They're not really partners yet, but this is the first time either has voiced that they will be and that's kind of nice. "I'll do my best."

"I know you will."

He nods. "Where are Callen and Sam this morning?"

Kensi picks up her phone and waves it. "Callen texted to say he and Sam were _doing something important_. Your guess is as good as mine. With those two, I've learned not to ask."

Dom hesitates for a moment before asking, "Do you think we'll be like them one day?"

Before she can answer, Callen and Sam shuffle by, muttering at each other as they balance an incredibly large palm tree on a dolly.

Kensi can only blink at the unexpected sight. She glances back to Dom who appears as surprised as she feels. "Honestly, I can only hope not," she says lightly in response to his question.

He smiles and then they laugh together.

Eventually they do get up and watch as Callen and Sam try to convince Hetty that the palm tree can serve as the office Christmas tree.

Unfortunately, Kensi's good mood doesn't last long. A former marine EOD (explosive ordinance disposal) team is being targeted with small bombs. One member is killed. One member avoids death by finding the bomb out of sheer luck. One member is caught in a car bomb, but survives with minor injuries.

Another member is narrowed down to be a suspect due to his religious background and injuries sustained in Fallujah.

Kensi goes with Callen to speak with Tariq's girlfriend, who tells them he was badly disfigured while serving in Fallujah. Of course, the information she has came from the corps, as Tariq wouldn't allow her to see him and hasn't responded to any of her contact attempts. Kensi's heart breaks a little when she tells them that Tariq still sends money to her and her daughter each month.

Once it's determined that Tariq is staying with his marine buddy King and working in his automotive shop, Kensi is sent in to get Tariq to show himself.

She makes an entrance. She drives into King's shop on a motorcycle. She falls seamlessly into the undercover work she's better at than she'd some days like to be. The best undercover is part truth and part lie. She plays the marine angle. She tells him her father was in the corps. She tells him she grew up moving from base to base. She tells him she was engaged to a marine who died in Fallujah.

She backs off at the right moment and then she pushes at the right moment. She tells him she knows marines stick together. She uses _just_ the right push and _just_ the right words. And it works. King calls Tariq down. Callen and Sam arrive and arrest him with little fanfare, just like they planned.

What she doesn't plan on is King calling her a professional liar. The biting remark eats at her the entire drive back to OPs.

When she gets back, she collapses at her desk with her head in her hands.

"You okay?" Dom asks.

She sighs and lifts her head. "You were listening?"

He nods.

She shrugs. "He was right, you know? We are professional liars. We literally get paid to lie to people."

Dom nodded thoughtfully. "But we get to save people."

"So, we're professional liars with a good cause." She huffs a laugh.

Dom smiles. "Sorry, I don't know what to say to make you feel better."

"It's not your job to make me feel better, Dom. But I appreciate the attempt."

He looks for a moment like he wants to say more, but he doesn't. She doesn't have the energy to ask.

When they realize they have the wrong guy, Kensi rushes back to King's garage to save him from the real bomber. King, still angry from her earlier deception, accuses her of being a liar again, but quickly changes his tune when she helps save his life. When the situation is under control, she's pretty sure he doesn't exactly like her, but they have an understanding.

Once back at OPs again, they discover Hetty has decorated Callen and Sam's palm tree, along with the entire office. It's very festive and the straggling agents and support staff stick around to celebrate with a drink.

"Any plans for the holidays, Kensi?" Sam asks as they stand together by their desks, each holding glasses of eggnog that Hetty apparently made from scratch.

"Oh, you know," she stammers slightly, the unexpected question having thrown her off. Its barely the middle of December. "I'm going to visit family in Seattle." It's her standard cover story. And it's ridiculous because she doesn't have family in Seattle and the team knows that. But no one will ever call her on it. Every year they ask, she lies and they know she lies. Ridiculous. Only they think she's hiding the fact that she spends the holidays alone, whereas she's actually hiding the fact that she spends the holidays with her husband and quite often now her mother. So, really the fake cover story that no one believes is her cover story.

She shakes off the ridiculousness and offers Sam a smile. "How about you? Any plans?"

His face smoothes into an easy smile and he shrugs. "I'll just spend some time at home, take it easy, really enjoy the time off."

She nods, absorbing his non-answer. Last year, she wouldn't have read anything into it, but now she's questioning everything her co-workers say to her. And she's wondering if everything Sam says is filtered. Because maybe he's lying without really lying. And maybe he's hiding a whole other life just like she is. Or maybe she's crazy. "I hear you."

Callen joins them with a glass of eggnog. "I honestly don't know where Hetty keeps the ingredients for eggnog."

"Remember the time she made pina coladas from scratch?" Sam asks. "I mean, who just has a couple pineapples lying around at work?"

Kensi laughs. "I bet there's a secret room here we don't know about."

"I bet there are _several_ secret rooms here we don't know about," Callen adds as Nate and Dom join them. "Vaults. Tunnels. Secret passage ways. You name it."

"Has she always been so...secretive?" Dom asks.

They all nod.

"I think she's actually getting tamer," Nate says. He lifts his glass to take a sip of eggnog and then pauses and glances around. "Oh, God, you don't think she heard me?"

Kensi laughs at both Nate's expression and the fact that no one is brave enough to acknowledge his statement.

"Wow," Dom says, breaking the awkward silence as he continues off of his original question. "I mean...don't get me wrong. She's great. It's just...intimidating."

Callen shrugs. "That's Hetty." He pauses and exchanges a glance with Kensi after she sends him a pointed look. "Eric said you were really helpful today," he tells the very junior agent. "I'm sorry we couldn't have you out in the field, but with the possibility of unstable bombs our focus needed to be on that and not on you."

Dom nodded. "I understand."

Kensi frowned at Callen's less than auspicious pep talk.

Callen catches her expression and presses his lips before turning back to Dom. "The last thing we need is for you to get hurt," he adds, which is only slightly better in Kensi's book, but it's a start. "But the point is, you were still helpful to the team."

Sam is staring at his partner through slightly narrowed eyes and Dom is starting to look uncomfortable so when Callen runs out of words for the second time, Kensi doesn't make any move to get him talking again. She'll let it go for a while before she presses the team leader for another pep talk. And then maybe give him some talking points.

Callen clears his throat. "And we were awesome today." He nods at Sam.

Sam shrugs. "We're always awesome."

"What about the Lawson case?" Kensi quips.

Nate laughs.

"What was the Lawson case?" Dom asks.

"A case we are never speaking of again," Sam cuts off before Kensi can even open her mouth.

Nate opens his mouth, but is stopped by a glare from Sam.

Callen laughs.

Nate clears his throat and turns to Kensi. "You good? You seemed off earlier."

"Nothing like being called a professional liar."

"The guy was mad," Sam rationalizes. "Don't let it get to you."

She wishes it were so easy. "The guy was also right." She waves her hand. "It's okay. I get it. Greater good and all. I just hate lying to the good guys."

They all seem to consider her for a moment. Callen's the one who finally speaks up. "So, what you told King was a lie?"

Callen and Sam exchange a quick glance. She surmises they had clearly been talking about her and her past. The look on Dom's face tells her this is what he hadn't asked her earlier, too. Nate is watching her closely, but his expression is cautious. He's afraid to upset her, but he's also concerned and genuinely curious. For a moment, she's tempted to be vague and leave them guessing. But the last thing she needs is them wondering about her personal life, especially Nate.

"Part of it was true. And part of it was a complete lie. And part of it was a combination of both." She pauses. "You know my dad was a marine." She'd told them that when they'd asked who taught her to shoot. "I grew up as a navy brat. Spent my entire childhood moving from base to base."

"Were you engaged?" Sam asks.

She knows she needs to tread carefully. If she lies flat out right now, they'll know. She raises an eyebrow. "To a marine who was killed in Fallujah?" She shakes her head. "No, I made that up to connect with King. No broken engagements in my past. I did know a marine who was stationed in Fallujah. He was a friend."

"Was he killed?"

She shakes her head. "No. He came home." They don't ask for more so she doesn't offer.

00

When she gets home, it's late evening. She finds her husband flat out on the couch. Monty is flat out on the floor beside the couch. The television is on, but the volume is down low, so she knows it's only part of the show he's putting on because he's trying to stay up to wait for her.

She toes off her shoes, drops her bag to the floor and pads across the room to join her semi-conscious husband on the couch.

"We'd have more room in the bed," he mumbles as she presses herself between his warm body and the back of the couch.

"Don't care."

He rubs her back. "Bad day?"

She sighs. "Not a good day." She presses her nose into the crook of his neck. "Promise me you'll never leave because you think it's better for me."

"What?"

"Just...can you promise?"

"I promise." He doesn't ask for anything more.

She lays with him for several minutes before speaking again. "We had this suspect today. Former marine who was disfigured in an explosion. Burns on his face. He was innocent. But when we were looking for him, we went to see his girlfriend, who hadn't seen him since he deployed because he wouldn't let her see him after the explosion. He still sends money for her and her daughter, but he won't see her and won't respond to her contact attempts. And she loves him so much."

Deeks sighs and tightens his arms around her. He says nothing, quiet in his support, knowing she needs to get her words out first.

"And I just..." She sighs. "His buddy called me a professional liar, which is true. And my day started out pretty good and just went downhill and I just... I love you. Okay? I need to know that you know that I love you. And that won't change, okay? If you were hurt or...or...disfigured or disabled or...whatever. I'd be there with you. We'd figure it out."

"I know that, Kens," he assures.

"And you'll never leave because you think it's better for me?"

"Hey, I promised, didn't I?"

She smiles into his chest. "You did."

"Now, are you ready to stop being crazy?"

She laughs against him. "Maybe."

He presses a kiss to her temple. "Do you want me to match your crazy and make you promise?"

"Don't be an ass," she tries to chastise, but she's laughing at him.

"You have to promise, Kensalina."

"I hate that name."

"You love that name."

"I hate it."

"Promise me, Kensalina."

She lifts her head, unable to hide her smile. But she's finally managed to stop laughing, so she'll take the win. "Fine, I promise." She kisses him and then lays back down against him.

He presses a kiss to her head. "Want to go to bed?"

"Soon. Right now I just want to lay here for a while." Everything may not be okay, but she's home and he's here with her and he's managed to vastly improve her mood in only a few minutes. She can always count on him to be there for her, whatever she needs. And even though she may have overreacted a little bit, she knows he relies on her, too. She knows he wouldn't run from her. It was a long road to get to where they are now, but it was worth it. They're in this together.

00

~March 2001~

 _"I really think we should go to the hospital," Deeks said. He was crouched on the floor beside the couch, staring intently at her ankle._

 _Kensi shifted uncomfortably as she half sat and half lay propped up against the arm rest with her injured ankle out in front of her. "No, I'm fine."_

 _Deeks winced. "But it looks..." He trailed off and waved his fingers over the swollen joint. "Bad."_

 _"Don't touch it."_

 _"I'm not going to touch it."_

 _"Then get your fingers away from it."_

 _"My fingers are helping me figure out how bad it is." He retorted, rolling his eyes in a way that told her he knew he was being irrational. However, he conceded to her request and pulled his hands away from the space around her ankle. One hand he used to run through his hair, clearly stressed by the situation._

 _She rolled her eyes. "I thought you were pre-law, not pre-med?"_

 _"Oooh, do you think it's too late to switch? Dr. Deeks has a nice ring to, doesn't it? Nice alliteration."_

 _Despite her pain and mood, she couldn't help the laugh he drew from her lips._

 _Deeks smiled, clearly proud of himself for making her laugh. "Now, back to the task at hand. It's clearly swollen. And I think it's starting to bruise. What if it's broken?"_

 _"Then it'll still be broken tomorrow. But right now I just need to..." She trailed off when she tried unsuccessfully to push herself up using the injured foot for leverage and fell back against the arm of the couch._

 _"Whoa, hey," he pressed a gently hand to her shoulder. "Fine, I won't make you go to the hospital. But just...don't try to move, okay?" He didn't wait for an answer before leaving her for a moment to take the very few steps to the kitchenette of his very tiny studio apartment and retrieving an icepack from his freezer. He wrapped the dishcloth around it and waved it for permission before laying it onto her injured ankle._

 _She hissed at the cold and then sighed as the low temperature and pressure actually started to make her feel a little better. "Thanks."_

 _He smiled. "I may have some Advil, too?"_

 _She shook her head. "I'm fine."_

 _His brow creased and he hesitated before pushing. "You're not fine, Kensi. You're hurt." He ran a hand through his hair. "And I just...I want to help. I feel like this is my fault. It was my idea."_

 _They'd gone running in the park. His idea. But they'd been racing. Her idea. Then there was the loose dog to suddenly dodge. And the ill placed soccer ball. And the hill. Kensi was lucky it was only her ankle._

 _Deeks had helped her limp to his apartment because it was much closer and more private than her shared dorm room._

 _"The race was my idea."_

 _"Fine. Equal liability."_

 _"Now you're sounding like a lawyer again."_

 _He offered a weak smile. "But you're still hurt and I still want to help."_

 _She swallowed hard. Her instincts told her to go home and lick her wounds in private. It's what she'd done since that fateful December day when she was fifteen and she'd lost her father. She wasn't used to anyone wanting to help. And she'd been in worse situations than this. But here she was on the cusp of something significant with this guy who'd wormed his way into her life and he wasn't backing down._

 _"I'm not used to this," she finally admitted._

 _He cocked his head. "What? Having someone around who wants to help when you're hurt? Relying on someone else?"_

 _It unnerved her more than a little that he read her so quickly, but he kept talking before she could form her next words._

 _"I'm right there with you, Kensi." He swallowed hard. "I'm not used to it either. I've never had it. Not for a really long time."_

 _She met his eyes and saw the same fear she felt. But also the same hope. They hadn't talked in depth about their pasts yet. He knew her mother had left and her father had died. But he didn't know about her life after. She knew he'd spent time in foster care. And she knew something momentous had shaped his childhood._

 _"But I want to be that person for you," he pressed on. "You can trust me. I_ want _to be there for you. And I hope..." He trailed off and then a moment later lost his nerve and his eyes flickered away from hers._

 _Kensi was surprised to feel dampness in her eyes. She cleared her throat and reached for his hand. She used it to tug him down to his knees so they were on the same level. "You don't have to hope, Marty. Because I want to be that person for you, too."_

 _"Yeah?"_

 _She laughed through her tears. "Yeah. I'll be here for you. You be here for me."_

 _"Does that mean I get to take you to the hospital?"_

 _She pressed a quick kiss to his lips. "Not a chance. But I will let you get me an Advil."_

 _He made a show of sighing, but he was smiling and his eyes were shining bright. "It's a start."_


	9. Chapter 9

_**AN: This chapter does not revolve around an episode...and got away from me a little, so it's a little long... But each part is important, so I didn't think anyone would mind the length.**_

 _ **Also, forgot to mention in the last chapter - The picture I added for this story is a screen grab from the episode where ECO wore his wedding ring. Thought it was fitting for this story.**_

00

Kensi yawns and stretches her spine as she adjusts her position. Her stiff muscles remind her why stakeouts are far from her favourite part of her job.

Beside her, Dom shifts uncomfortably as well.

"Callen and Sam suck for sticking us with this part of the case," Kensi mutters. "Again."

Dom chuckles. "They did say they'd relieve us."

She waves her cell phone. "And have been _surprisingly_ silent for hours."

"What do you think they're doing?"

"Oh, I'm sure they're finding lots to do. They're just avoiding _this_."

"Sounds like my sister," Dom says, offering a touch of his background. "Growing up, she always did the easy chores and stuck me with the crappy ones."

Kensi laughs. "Older sister?"

He nods. "Two years."

"Makes sense."

He hesitates for only a moment. "Do you have siblings?"

She shakes her head. "Only child."

He nods, but falls silent.

Kensi sighs. She and Dom are really different, but they've been working really hard towards becoming partners. After almost five months, it should be easier to talk. She presses on. "Do you just have the one sister?"

"Sarah," he offers. "And she has two little girls, so I'm Uncle Dom," he says with a smile.

"You get to see them much?"

"Not as much as I'd like. They live about four hours from here. Near my parents. I've only seen them once since I started here."

"I wish I could tell you it gets easier..."

He shrugs. "This is what I wanted." He nods confidently and then smiles. "I was so excited to start here I didn't even stop at my parents' to pick up my stuff after I finished at FLETC. I just came straight here with the stuff I had with me. Spent the first two weeks sleeping on an air mattress in my apartment."

Kensi laughs. "Yeah, I was excited, too."

"My sister brought the girls down for a visit after about a month. That was really nice. Got to show them the sights. Take them to the beach."

"That's really nice."

"It was." He shakes his head. "I can't wait to have a family of my own."

"Is there...I mean...Are you seeing anyone?"

He shakes his head. "No. I really just want to concentrate on the job right now, you know?"

"I get it."

"What about you?"

"Hmm?" She tenses, realizing now she should never have led the questions this direction.

"I mean, I know Callen and Sam tease you sometimes, but-"

"Oh my God, there's our guy!" Kensi exclaimed, cutting off her partner right before he was about to possibly call her out.

Both of their attention snapped towards the building entrance across the street where their bad guy was sauntering out the doors and down the steps.

"Unbelievable," Kensi mutters. She quickly calls Callen.

"Hey, Kens, we're just about to come and relieve you too."

"That's bull and we both know it," she says, rolling her eyes. "But we found our guy. Do you want us to bring him in or follow him?"

Callen and Sam exchange a few words before Callen tells her to bring him in.

"Let's get him," Kensi tells Dom. It's dawn and there aren't that many people around. Plus, their bad guy isn't considered to be very dangerous. "You want to take point?"

"Really?"

She nods. "Let's do this quietly, okay?"

Dom nods. She watches as he hurries along their side of the street and then crosses to head off their suspect at just the right angle. He's perfectly non-confrontational but determined. He doesn't draw his weapon, but he makes clear that it's there. When the suspect turns around, Kensi is in his path, matching Dom's stance. The suspect deflates and allows Dom to take him into custody.

They take him to the boatshed, where Callen and Sam meet them. In an hour, they have a confession and a closed case.

"Right in time for Christmas," Sam says. It's late morning now on Christmas Eve.

Kensi stretches as she nods her agreement. She's still stiff from spending most of the previous night stuck in a car. She had texted her husband that she wouldn't be home and why, but couldn't text him much more because she was aware of Dom's awareness. It was easier to fake out Callen and Sam with fake stories. But as she and Dom became closer as partners, it was getting harder to hide from him. Because he notices patterns that she can't hide. Like the fact that she has someone to contact when she isn't going to be home.

"When does your flight leave?" Sam asks her.

She flicks her eyes to him.

"Your flight to Seattle," he prompts.

"Later," she says.

"You are still going, right?"

She knows he's goading her and after the night she's had, she really doesn't appreciate it. "Of course. Just like you're going to spend your holidays at home, _alone_ , taking it easy and really enjoying the time off." She repeats his own words back to him and narrows her eyes.

His mask slips for just a moment and she knows without a shadow of a doubt that he's hiding something significant. Beside him, Callen's gaze flickers between them and she realizes Callen's in on whatever he's hiding.

Mask back in place, Sam clears his throat. "Well, have a great time."

She nods. "You, too."

Dom joins them, oblivious to what has just transpired between the three more senior agents. "LAPD is taking Mr. Bradshaw into custody."

"Good. We're free to go," Callen says.

"And after our break, you two are on stakeout duty next time," Kensi says lightly.

"Do you have any idea how much we did last night?"

"Do you have any idea how sore my ass is from sitting in that car all night?" She counters.

Callen hesitates and then chuckles. "I'm not touching that one. Kensi, have a good Christmas." He gives her a quick hug. "Dom, you too." He shakes his hand. "Good work today."

00

Despite her exhaustion from being up all night, instead of heading straight home, Kensi heads to OPs. As expected, Hetty is at her desk.

"Ms. Blye, you should be at home, enjoying your time off."

Kensi smiles and shakes her head. "Soon. I was hoping we could talk?"

Hetty motions for her to sit. "Would you like a cup of tea?"

"No, thank you, Hetty."

"Alright, dear. Is everything alright? No problems with Mr. Deeks?"

"No, Marty and I are great. He's been home for a while, actually, and it's been really nice."

Hetty smiles. "Good. And you and Dominic seem to be working well together."

"I think he's a good fit here," she says.

"And a good fit as your partner?"

"I guess? I've never really had a partner." Before the washouts at OSP, she'd worked as part of several teams, but had never been able to rely on any one person. Either she hadn't been in that particular office long enough to form a partnership, or there were no agents available to partner with or, in a few cases, no one had taken her seriously due to her age and gender.

"I understand." Hetty nods. "You worked hard to get where you are today, Ms. Blye. And I've seen you making extra efforts to develop a rapport with Mr. Vail. You need a partner you can trust and who will challenge you. Do you believe that will come from a partnership with Mr. Vail?"

"I think it's too soon to tell," she says honestly. "But he's going to be a good agent. He has good instincts. And I trust him to have my back."

"That's good to know."

"And he's...perceptive."

"By that you mean he's suspicious of your home life," Hetty states.

"He has no idea about Marty," she assures her boss. "But he's aware of...something. And I could easily come up with a cover story about a boyfriend and carry that one for a few months and then stage a break up."

"But you don't want to," Hetty finishes for her, proving how perceptive she is.

"I want to talk to you about sharing my home life with at least my partner."

"It's not easy keeping secrets in our line of work."

"No, it's not. But I've done it for two years. I lie at work. I lie to my team. The only person who knows the real me is my husband, and even then he doesn't get to know any real details of my job because it's classified. And I chose this life. And I accept the restrictions it brings. But how am I supposed to build a partnership when I'm lying about the most important part of my life?"

Hetty sits back in her chair. She considers Kensi carefully for a long moment.

Kensi hesitates before pressing on and taking a gamble. "Sam has a family. And Callen knows."

Hetty covers her surprise well, but doesn't bother hiding her pride. "Very perceptive, Ms. Blye. Assuming this is true, how did you come to this knowledge?"

"The serial killer last month? He knew to check the stuffed bear for a nanny cam. Callen and I would have overlooked it, and I'm trained in forensics. That's something you'd only look for if you'd done it. So, he must have kids. And he gives non-answers sometimes. Non-specific, you know? Ask him what he's doing for the holidays and he says he's going to stay home and enjoy his time off." She shakes her head. "It sounds like an answer, but it's not really. So, his kids are at home with him, but there's no way he's a single dad with our hours. So, he has to have a wife at home, too."

"I trust you'll keep this information to yourself?"

Kensi nods. "Of course."

"Callen and Sam have been partners for almost three years. What Sam chooses to disclose to his partner is his choice."

"So, you're saying I should wait?"

"I'm saying if you are trying to build a partnership, you need to make your own choices. If you wish to disclose certain information to your partner, you may."

00

Kensi moans softly as she's pulled into consciousness. The early morning air is cool, so all she wants to do is burrow deeper under the covers with her very warm husband. He's spooning her, his chest pressed firmly against her back. And he's so close she feels his exhales landing in her hair.

A grumble sounds from in front of her, and she creaks open an eye. Monty is staring at her, eyes imploring. He's resting his chin on the edge of the bed.

"Morning, Monty," she whispers, reaching a hand out from under the covers to pat the dog. "Merry Christmas."

Monty presses his head into her hand, but cries when she doesn't move.

Kensi frowns. "You really need to go out, don't you?"

At the word 'out' the dog jumps back and wags his tail.

She groans and sits up. For a moment she debates waking her husband for a rock-paper-scissors battle over who takes the dog out, but he's dead to the world, so she lets him sleep. She was the one who got to nap when she got home the previous day. He woke her when he got home and they spent the evening volunteering at the soup kitchen; their annual tradition. Then they were up much of the night celebrating the holiday.

"Fine. I'm up. Let's go out." Shivering in the cool air, Kensi quickly pulls on underwear, jeans and a sweater belonging to her husband. Monty is dancing at the front door by the time she joins him with her cell, sig and keys. She attaches the leash and together they make their way towards the park area. The dog relieves himself several times and when they reach the park, she lets him off the leash to run off some energy.

By the time they saunter back to the apartment, it's well past dawn.

Monty makes a beeline for his water bowl and then follows Kensi into the bedroom where Deeks is still fast asleep. He has shifted since they left. Now he's laying on his stomach, clutching to Kensi's pillow.

Deciding he's slept long enough, Kensi pats the bed twice, inviting the excited dog up. Monty springs up and lands to Deeks's left. He settles himself half on the bed and half on Deeks.

Deeks groans.

Kensi sits next to his ribcage and reaches to run her fingers through his hair.

He sighs. "Feels nice."

Monty takes that moment to press closer, his cold nose making contact with Deeks's bare shoulder blade.

"Ah!" He screeches. "That did not feel nice!"

Kensi laughs out loud. "Good job, Monty. That woke him up for sure." She reaches to pat the dog. He wags his tail and then rolls away from Deeks onto his side, suddenly content to nap.

"Oh, come on," Kensi complains.

"Good boy, Monty," Deeks mumbles into the pillow. He swipes his left hand in the general direction of the dog. He misses by a foot, but Monty wags his tail anyway.

She shakes her head at the sight. "My two lazy boys."

Deeks shifts onto his side so he can see her. He smirks. "You know you love us."

Before she can respond, he twists and his arms shoot out from under the blanket and wrap around her. She shrieks as he envelopes her and pulls her down. It's awkward. She crashes down on top of him, landing mostly on her side on top of him before she can shift onto her stomach. He winces several times, and can't move much because he's stuck under the blanket, but he's laughing.

"You're an idiot," she tells him when they're both somewhat comfortable.

"Yeah, well, you're stuck with me." He runs his hands over her back and then pauses at her waistband and laughs.

She lets him pull her sig from the waistband of her jeans.

"Bringing a gun to bed now? Is that what our marriage has come to?"

She rolls her eyes as she takes the gun from him and reaches to place it on the nightstand. "Wasn't my idea to come back to bed," she reminds, though she makes no move to get up. "Took Monty out."

"Right, lots of bad guys at dog parks. Especially on Christmas morning. Makes sense."

"It's better to be prepared. Just in case."

He presses a kiss to her temple. "My kind of girl."

She settles against him, in no hurry to get up again. They have all morning to spend together. They're not expected at her mother's until mid-afternoon. "Merry Christmas, Marty."

"Merry Christmas, Kens."

She loses track of how long they spend cuddling together that morning before finally getting up. She makes them coffee while he toasts bagels. They settle together on the couch.

"I'm glad you're home for Christmas," she tells him. "You've been home so long this time...I was worried they'd send you away before the holidays."

"Me, too," he admits.

She meets his eyes and tilts her head. "Still not feeling any different?"

He settles his chin onto her shoulder and stares off into the distance of the far wall for a long moment before sighing and shaking his head. "Not really, no. There are a few undercovers lined up that I know about. One or two drug related. And the human trafficking one they've been trying to put together forever. But I think in the new year I'm going to tell them that's it. I'll finish what's already lined up, but then I want a change."

Kensi leans into him for support.

He offers a soft smile. "Maybe after some time off I'll feel differently. But right now..."

"You're ready to be done."

He nods. "Just two or three more."

"Two or three more," she echoes. She surprised to feel tears stinging her eyes at the thought. They've lived a life that's felt temporary for so long. The thought of having him home all the time, of not having to worry _all_ the time when he's not home...

"Hey," he whispers, canting towards her to press a kiss to the side of her head.

She meets his eyes and offers him a soft smile. They agreed long ago not to dwell on the dangers of their jobs and not to feel guilty for the worry they impart on the other. She doesn't need to say a thing; he already understands exactly what she's feeling.

"I love you," he tells her.

Her smile grows. "I love you, too."

"What about you? Any thoughts about your work secret?"

"Actually, yeah." She hadn't had time to talk to him yesterday. She's been asleep when he'd gotten home, and then they'd spent the evening volunteering. "My partner is working out," she tells him. "And I don't want to have to lie to him every day. I talked to my boss yesterday and she said it was my decision."

"Did you tell him about me?"

She shakes her head. "I wanted to talk to you first. But I want to tell him. Not the whole team. But the fact that I'm not this commitment phobic single girl seems like something a partner should know, right?"

He nods. "It does."

"And you don't have a problem with me telling him?"

He shakes his head. "I think it will be good for you to have someone at work who knows the truth."

She smiles. "Yeah, I think it will."

He presses a kiss to the side of her head. "Okay, enough work talk. Time for presents."

Kensi laughs. "Who says I got you anything?"

He motions to the tree in the corner with the small collection of wrapped gifts sitting under it. The tree stands proudly about as tall as Deeks and a little taller than Kensi. They had decorated it together with the variety of ornaments they had collected together over the years and a single strand of garland that, even though it had long since seen better days, neither had the heart to throw away. "Because half of those are for you. And half of them I didn't buy. Therefore, half are for me."

She scrunches her nose and then shakes her head. "Sorry to tell you this, but everything I bought is for Monty."

Across the room, Monty lifts his head and wags his tail at the sound of his name, causing Kensi to laugh.

Deeks makes a show of pouting.

She leans in to place a kiss to his lips. "Okay, I guess one may be for you..."

He chuckles and together they move to sit on the floor in front of the tree; a tradition since the first Christmas they shared.

Deeks picks up a gift and passes it to her with a barely suppressed smirk.

Kensi rolls her eyes. "Hmm, I wonder what this is," she plays along, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"You'll have to open it and find out..."

She can't help the happy smile that captures her lips as she carefully peels back the tape on one end, doing her best not to rip the paper. Just like she had that first Christmas morning together nine years earlier.

And just like that first Christmas morning together, when she finally reveals the present, it's a box of Twinkies. Nine years later, it's no longer all he can afford. But it's their tradition. He still buys and wraps her a box each year. And she still opens it as her first gift, sitting with him in front of the tree, careful not to tear the wrapping paper.

"Thank you, Marty," she says. "I love it."

His eyes are sparkling. "Don't I know it."

She laughs as he leans over to press a kiss to her cheek.

00

~December 2000~

 _Kensi gripped the thick canvas strap of the shoulder bag draped across her body with both hands as she stared at the door. After great deliberation, she eventually accepted his invitation to spend Christmas Day at his apartment. And it wasn't that she was regretting her choice, exactly. It was just that in the three years since her father died she hadn't celebrated any holidays, especially Christmas._

 _But he was alone. And she was alone. And...maybe neither of them had to be alone today._

 _She took a deep breath and then reached up with one hand to knock._

 _It only took him a moment to open the door._

 _"Hey," he greeted, equal parts happy to see her and relieved that she'd come._

 _Kensi forced a smile back, knowing he'd thought she may be a flight risk today. She hadn't told him details yet, but she had finally told him she'd lost her father close to Christmas and it brought up bad memories. "Hi. Uh, Merry Christmas."_

 _"Merry Christmas," he echoed, ushering her into his tiny studio apartment. She'd been over several times before, and though at first he had seemed embarrassed by it, she actually quite liked being there. There was a small kitchenette area with a fridge, stove and a few cupboards. Beside it just enough room for a tiny table, which he obviously used as a desk far more than a table from the piles of papers and binders. On the other side of the apartment was a double bed, dresser and tiny closet, beside the living room area which was only large enough to squeeze in a couch opposite a TV stand. He'd somehow managed to sneak in a strip of a coffee table. There was only one window, between the couch and the bed. And the opposite wall held the door to the tiny bathroom. On her first visit, he had told her the cost was the same as sharing something nicer, but he'd rather have his privacy._

 _She smiled at the crooked fake tree he'd put up in front of the window, sitting on the box it had come in. And...looked like it was missing a branch or two. It was only about two and a half feet high and had a single strand of garland wrapped around it._

 _"I like what you've done with the place."_

 _He laughed as he closed the door behind her. "Don't mock my tree. A neighbor was getting rid of it. I thought it deserved one more Christmas."_

 _"That's actually kind of sweet," she said as she hugged him in greeting._

 _He hugged her back and sighed. "I'm glad you're here."_

 _She hugged him just a little tighter. "Me, too."_

 _"Yeah?" He pulled back far enough to meet her eyes. "I know last night was a lot and-"_

 _She shook her head to cut him off. "I'm glad you suggested it. I liked being there with you." He had invited her on his annual tradition of spending Christmas Eve volunteering at the local soup kitchen._

 _He smiled. "I'm glad."_

 _"It's something I'd do again."_

 _He hesitated before nodding. "Next year, maybe."_

 _She stared into his eyes for a long moment before nodding slowly. "Next year, maybe," she echoed his words. This thing with him was still new and she didn't know what to expect. She had expected to meet boys when she started college, but she hadn't expected to feel like_ this _. Especially not this early. But if he was the right guy at an unexpected time, she wasn't about to let her fear scare her away. Kensi Blye was raised never to back down from a challenge._

 _His eyes flickered down to her lips and then back to her eyes. Kensi found herself canting forward unconsciously. And then he ducked his head to her level and kissed her. This was still new, but not in the least unwelcome._

 _The kiss didn't last more than a few seconds, but when he broke away, they were both smiling._

 _"Come on," he said, tugging on her hand. "I have a present for you."_

 _She allowed herself to be led towards the tree he was so proud of, where one single wrapped gift lay under it._

 _"Wait," she said as he reached for the gift. She reached into her shoulder bag and pulled out the present she had brought for him. She placed it under the tree beside hers. "There."_

 _"And then there were two..."_

 _She smiled at his words and tugged his hand for him to sit beside her on the floor in front of the tree._

 _He shot her a puzzled look, but followed suit._

 _"It's something I used to do...when I was a kid," she told him. "Christmas morning, we'd sit in front of the tree on the floor."_

 _"You and your dad?"_

 _She hesitated. "And my mom."_

 _It's his turn to hesitate. Because she hasn't mentioned her mom before. In the end, he asked nothing further._

 _She debated saying nothing more either, but she was the one who brought it up. And she was moving forward. "She...left, not long before my dad died."_

 _"I'm sorry."_

 _She shrugged. "My dad was..." She felt tears sting her eyes and shook her head to fight the sensation. "He was a really good person. And a really good dad."_

 _"You miss him."_

 _She nodded._

 _He wrapped an arm around her and she was surprised by how easily she leaned into him for comfort._

 _"I'm sorry you lost them both," he said. There's no pity in his tone, just genuine sympathy._

 _"I'm sorry you never had it," she echoed his tone. He's only shared the basics. She knows his father was a bad person and from his comments, she assumes an alcoholic. And she's not sure about his mom, but she's pretty sure Deeks was much more the parent than the child in that relationship._

 _He didn't say anything, but he turned his head and rested his chin on her shoulder as she leaned into him._

 _"I wish the tree was bigger," he eventually said to break the silence._

 _"Don't think it would fit in here if it was much bigger," she teased._

 _He laughed. "Well, one day I want a bigger place. With actual rooms. And at Christmas I want a full sized tree."_

 _She stared up at the small tree and cocked her head. "What's full sized?"_

 _He shrugged. "Taller than me. When I was little and I'd go to a friend's house and they'd have these trees that just seemed gigantic because I was probably only four feet tall at the time. I want to feel like that."_

 _She laughed out loud. "Well, it's a good thing you're going to be a lawyer one day, cause you'll need to be super rich to afford a mansion with super high ceilings to fit a tree that big."_

 _He beamed for a moment and then offered her a goofy smile and a shrug. "Okay, maybe not_ that _tall. But still, taller than me. I want to look up at the tree."_

 _"That's a good dream. Reasonable."_

 _He nodded and then reached for her present. "But I'll make do with this for now." He passed her the present with a soft smile. "For you."_

 _Kensi felt her hands tremble as she accepted the gift. This was the first present she'd had in three years. Just the thought of it was so perfect that for a moment she didn't want to open it, but Deeks's eyes were sparkling so she couldn't deny him for long._

 _Very carefully and very slowly, she opened the taped seams along both ends of the box and then along the middle, wanting to savour each moment of the process. When she finally revealed the contents, she couldn't help the laughing breath that escaped her lips._

 _"It's not much," he started._

 _She shook her head as she held up the box of Twinkies and resisted the urge to actually_ hug _the box. "It's perfect. Thank you."_

 _"You do have a sweet tooth..."_

 _She ignored him and simply leaned forward to press her lips to his. The kiss took him by surprise, but he was smiling when she pulled away._

 _Still clutching to her gift, Kensi picked up his and passed it to him. The way he almost reverently took the present and held it for a long moment made Kensi realize he hadn't received any gifts in a lot longer than her three year drought. He tried to be careful like she was in removing the paper, but his fingers were not nearly as nimble and he ripped it several times, making her laugh each time he flinched._

 _Finally open, he beamed at the items she had picked out. After watching him use the same cheap notebooks for each class and then haphazardly rip out notes only for them to be stapled and pinned together depending on the class, she had found specialty clipboards designed to hold loose leaf paper. So, she combined the clipboard with two packages of lined paper and threw in a package of pens because he was always looking for pens._

 _"Wow, this is great," he said as he studied the holding mechanism for the paper. "Thank you."_

 _"I thought it would help. And now you can stop stealing my pens."_

 _"That was one time." He rolled his eyes in good humour, but was still running his fingers over the clipboard._

 _Kensi smiled, knowing she had made a good choice. She looked down at her own gift and her smile grew. Maybe one day they'd have more, whether that be together or separately. But for now, this was perfect._


	10. Chapter 10

_**AN: Another non-episode based chapter, but starts with a little 'work' time for Kensi and then moves to some home time. This was originally combined with what's now become chapter 11, but it got super long (and had three flashbacks total), so I split it up as I was writing it and I think it does better separately.**_

* * *

It takes Kensi a full week back to work after the holidays to work up the nerve to tell her partner the truth about her home life. The team is happy to reconnect after their week off. Sam is a little cautious of Kensi and she notices he goes out of his way to _not_ ask about her 'trip' to Seattle. She, in turn, goes out of her way to not ask about his time at home. Their interaction, she also notices, does not go unnoticed by their team leader. Eric, who has nothing to hide, is open about his time off. Nate, who she determines also has nothing to hide, is less forthcoming, but also open. Hetty, as usual, offers nothing but notices everything.

Dom shares stories with her about Christmas with his family. She smiles at how excited his nieces were about Santa and reindeer and presents. He tells her he came home with drawings to put on his fridge.

He's opening up more and more to her, and she knows she made the right decision to include him in her secret. She just has to actually follow through and tell him.

So, after once again finding herself stuck in a car for an indefinite amount of time with her not-so-new partner, Kensi contemplates whether this is the best time to finally pull the trigger. They have just relieved Callen and Sam and settle in for what is expected to be a long few hours on stakeout.

"How'd the date go?" Dom asks after they've reviewed the case details.

"Hmm?"

"I heard you telling Callen and Sam you had a date last night? I think his name was Nick?"

She huffs a laugh at the fortuitous opening she's been given. "Yeah, it didn't. Nick doesn't exist."

Dom shoots her a surprised look. He opens his mouth, but then shuts it, clearly at a loss for what he's supposed to say.

Kensi bites back a laugh at his expression. "Look, I want to tell you something, but I need it to stay between us, okay?"

"Okay." His expression tells her she can trust him.

"Only Hetty knows. When I started here, she asked me to keep... Well, she asked me to keep a really big secret. I've been living a cover every day at work. The fear of commitment and second dates, the one night stands, the stories I tell Callen and Sam?" She shakes her head. "That's not me."

Dom stares at her for a long moment, his gaze considering and perceptive. "What's the real you?"

This was it. She takes a deep, clarifying breath and presses on. "The real me has been married since college."

Dom coughs in surprise. Whatever he was suspicious of, it wasn't this.

Kensi pushes on. "Hetty said it was dangerous to have family connections in this job. And maybe she was testing me, too. Hell, of course she was testing me, too. But she didn't want anyone to know. She had me keep it a secret."

"But you're telling me."

She nods. "We're partners now. I didn't want to keep this a secret from you. And for the sake of full disclosure, Hetty knows I'm telling you."

He nods. "Thank you for telling me. I won't say anything to anyone." He hesitates for a moment. "So, your...husband?"

"Marty," Kensi supplies.

"Marty," Dom tests the name. "You've been married since college?"

She nods. "Seven years."

"Wow. That's a long time. You must have been young."

"Twenty," she offers. While she has felt defensive of the judgment of others when they find out how young she married, she doesn't feel that now. Dom is a young agent, like her. His questions are curios and not judgemental.

"Does he know...what you do?"

She nods. "For the most part." She smiles. "He's a cop, so he gets it. Detective with the LAPD."

Dom smiles back. "Of course."

"He's spent the last several years working undercover ops, so he's been away for weeks or months at a time."

Dom nods. "That's why you...reacted...when the undercover cop was killed."

Kensi nods. "I don't usually get many details about where he is or what he's doing. For all I knew...that could have been him." She takes a breath. "It's not like it is here. He usually goes in alone. No backup. No partner. No Eric up in OPs watching every move. Just a handler who is juggling multiple cases." She puts on a brave front for Dom, but inside, she's grateful of her husband's resolve to be done with long term undercover work. He'd already told his Lieutenant that after the few undercovers he was already lined up for were over, he wanted to talk about a change.

"That must be difficult."

"It's the life we signed up for." She makes sure there's no movement on the building they are surveilling before meeting Dom's eyes. "Either you make a life with someone in the business and you find a way to deal with the dangers of the job, or you make a life with someone outside of the business and you live a cover life because you can't do this job and let a civilian without clearance know what we do." She gives that a moment to sink in. "I'm happy with my choice. You need to be happy with yours."

Dom nods several times as he absorbs the advice. "I'll keep that in mind." He glances at the building and then back at her. "For the record, I'm glad you're happy."

"Thanks."

"I'm also impressed you've managed to trick Callen and Sam for this long." He offers her a smile.

She shrugs. "They're not that hard to fool. Seriously, if your lie embarrasses you even a little, they just get distracted making fun of you and don't question it."

"Hence all the bad date stories."

"Exactly," she says and they laugh together.

00

On Friday, Kensi hurries home from work. With no case, Hetty had shooed them away from work an hour earlier than usual to enjoy their weekend. She's grateful for the opportunity to beat her husband home from work.

Monty is happy to see her when she opens the door, and she takes the dog for a quick walk to stretch his legs. Deeks is still not home when she and Monty return from their walk, which isn't unexpected, so she jumps in the shower to start getting ready. She's halfway through washing her hair when she hears the front door open and close. A minute goes by and then the bathroom door pushes open.

"That you in there, Kens?"

She rolls her eyes. "Nope," she deadpans.

He laughs.

She sticks her head out from around the shower curtain. He's standing in the doorway, one foot in the bathroom and one in the hall, his eyes sparkling as they meet hers. "Who else would it be?"

He shrugs. "Robbers."

"Robbers who stopped to take a shower?"

"You can never be too careful in this world..." It's like he can't stand being so far away and takes the four short steps towards her for a kiss.

She raises an eyebrow. "You want to join me?"

"Do we have time?" He asks, though he doesn't wait for her answer to start taking off his clothes.

"Reservation's not until seven."

He quickly finishes stripping and steps into the shower with her. The water immediately soaks his hair, leaving him almost blinded as his long bangs cover his eyes.

She laughs and reaches to brush his wet hair from his eyes as his hands find her hips. "Happy birthday," she tells him.

"Mmm, Thank you," he says, kissing her.

Her hands wrap over his shoulders and around his neck as she stands on her tiptoes.

"Best birthday ever," he whispers when he pulls away from the kiss.

She huffs a laughing breath. "You say that every year."

"I mean it every year," he insists.

00

~February 2001~

 _It was a fairly lengthy walk back to campus from the party, but it was a nice night and she had excellent company, so Kensi had no complaints. After the stress of her second semester of midterms, it was nice to blow off some steam at a friend's birthday party._

 _"I can't believe I don't have any more studying to do," she stated as they walked along the quiet streets hand in hand._

 _"Not until finals, you mean," he teased._

 _"You couldn't let me have this one?"_

 _"Nope," he said, making a popping sound on the 'p.'_

 _She laughed and nudged his shoulder with hers as they walked together. "It was a nice party. Amanda had a good time," she said, referring to their friend, who had been celebrating her twentieth birthday._

 _"She did."_

 _Kensi hesitated before nudging him again. "Hey, so, uh..."_

 _He glanced at her. "Yeah?"_

 _"I guess I want to know... When is your birthday?"_

 _He tensed as they walked together._

 _"Marty?"_

 _"January eight," he admitted quietly._

 _"January!" She stopped dead, stopping him with her. "That was last month. Over a month ago. Why didn't you say anything?"_

 _He didn't pull his hand out of hers, but he looked down to the ground. "I don't...I didn't know how."_

 _"Marty..." She dropped his hand and stepped forward to hug him._

 _He tensed when she dropped his hand, but when she hugged him, he hugged her back tightly. "I'm sorry."_

 _She shook her head. "I don't want you to be sorry." She pulled back just far enough to kiss him. "I'm sorry I didn't ask sooner."_

 _"I don't usually acknowledge my birthday," he confessed. "It's been a long time since I've had anyone who..." He trailed off and didn't finish vocalizing his thought, but she heard enough possible conclusions in her head to make her heart ache for him._

...wanted to be there.

...took the time to celebrate with me.

...cared.

 _She ran her hands up his chest to rest at his shoulders and squeezed. "Well, you have someone now."_

 _His eyes closed for a long moment before opening again. He nodded. "Okay."_

 _"I'm sorry we didn't do anything special."_

 _"We did, actually," he said, surprising her._

 _"What?"_

 _He shrugged. "It was a Saturday. You came over in the morning to study. Then we spent the afternoon at the beach. Fish tacos for dinner; my treat. Ice cream for dessert; your treat. Then we went back to my place and you slept over."_

 _She nodded. "I remember the day."_

 _He hesitated for a moment before shrugging. "It was the best birthday I've ever had."_

 _The sheer openness in his tone nearly brought tears to her eyes. "I'm really glad."_

00

After their shower, Kensi shoos her husband out of the bathroom so she can dry and style her hair. They don't get dressed up very often, so she wants to look nice. She loosely curls her hair and then pulls it back from her face before applying her makeup.

When she's satisfied with her work, she dons her robe and heads for the bedroom, but the sound of her husband's one sided conversation with Monty pulls her towards the living room.

She finds Deeks sitting on the couch in boxers and a dressy blue button down, wearing exactly one sock, his hair sticking out at several angles. Monty is sitting in front of him, staring intently as if he understands every word spoken.

"Get a little distracted?" She taunts.

He looks up at her and winces, a little embarrassed to have been caught. "Well, I wanted some water. And then Monty wanted to know what our plans were for tonight..."

She raises an eyebrow. "So, suddenly in the middle of getting dressed, you had to take a break to get a glass of water?"

He shrugs. "Pretty much."

"You put on one sock. And then before you could put on the other sock, you became too thirsty to continue before getting something to drink?" She's not all that successful at biting back a laugh.

He narrows his eyes at her and then turns back to Monty. The dog is still staring at him. "Monty, she's being mean to me on my birthday."

Monty whines and then when Deeks pats him, he wags his tail. "Monty thinks you should be nice to me."

She rolls her eyes. "Well, I think you should go put your other sock on. We do need to leave in ten minutes."

"First of all, I'm wearing more clothes than you," he says, smirking at her. "And second, I like that you're more focused on getting me into a pair of socks than into a pair of pants."

She smirks right back at him. "I'm never focused on getting you _into_ pants."

He beams at her. "Nice." He turns back to the dog. "Okay, Monty, I gotta go get dressed. You hold down the fort here, okay?"

Kensi leaves him in the living room, knowing he'll be right behind her as she returns to the bedroom. Sure enough, there's a pair of pants and a single sock sitting on the bed.

She drops her robe and quickly pulls on a bra and underwear. She's hunting through the closet for a dress when Deeks enters the room.

"Ah, I missed the best part," he complains.

She rolls her eyes, but can't help but laugh. "You saw the best part half an hour ago," she reminds.

He pouts for a moment anyway. "But it's my birthday..."

"Tough."

He chuckles, feelings far from being hurt. But instead of getting dressed, he comes up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder.

One of her hands finds his on instinct and she leans back against him. "Marty..."

"Have I told you how much I love you today?"

"I'm supposed to be telling you that today. It is _your_ birthday."

"Fine. Get on with it, then."

She laughs out loud and subtly elbows him with her free arm. "You're an idiot."

"But you love me, anyway," he teases.

She turns in his embrace and cups his face in her hands. "I do love you, Marty. More than anything." She uses her hands to pull him down for a hard kiss. And then she holds him a few inches away from her. "But I really need you to get ready, because we need to leave really soon. Because I am taking you out for a nice dinner." She can feel the muscles in his cheeks tensing under her hands as he fights not to smile. She narrows her eyes. "And you need to do something with your hair."

"My hair?"

She nods and momentarily removes a hand from his cheek to run through the more-messy-than-normal hair. "Maybe consider using a comb?"

He scoffs. "I'll have you know that style by pillow is-"

"-a good look. Yes, I know." She returns her second hand to his cheek and kisses him. "Trust me, I know. But style by air dry is not your best look." She raises an eyebrow.

He makes a face, but is clearly fighting to hold back a smile.

"At least look in a mirror and make your own decision."

He attempts a glare, but his eyes are sparkling with humour and the corners of his lips are curling upwards.

"Now, get dressed." She pecks him quickly on the lips and then uses her hands to gently shove him towards the bed and his waiting clothes.

"I love it when you're bossy," he mumbles, though he follows her request.

Kensi turns back to the closet to find her dress. It only takes a moment, and when she turns back Deeks is standing by the foot of the bed, wearing both socks and his pants, holding his jacket.

She stares for a moment. "How did you get dressed that fast?"

He shrugs. "I'm a guy."

She huffs a laugh and then points to the door. "Just...go wait with Monty."

He smiles at her and presses a kiss to her cheek before heading out the door. "Don't take too long," he teases as he goes, "We do have to leave soon."

She can't even bite back a smile, let alone come up with a retort.

She quickly pulls the navy dress on and heads to her dresser drawer to add jewellery. She puts on her wedding band first, and adds her engagement ring. Then she picks earrings and a necklace.

When she's ready, she joins her boys in the living room. Monty is curled up on the couch. Deeks is patting his pockets across the room like he's making sure he has his wallet and keys. He turns when she enters the room.

"Wow," he says softly. "You look amazing."

"Thank you." She runs her hands up his chest. "You don't look too bad yourself, birthday boy." She says nothing about the fact that he has clearly taken a moment to tame his hair.

"You ready to go?"

"Just about." She turns her back to him. "Can you...?" She doesn't need to explain further.

"Of course." He pulls her hair out of the way and expertly zips up the back of her dress. When he's done, he dips his head to press a kiss to the back of her neck before releasing her hair. "All done."

"Thanks." She turns and smiles at him. "Okay, let's go celebrate 31."

"It'll be the best year yet."


	11. Past Lives

_**AN: Thanks for the wonderful feedback on the last two chapters, which didn't follow established episodes - I'm really glad the independent plotlines were received so well. Your feedback for the whole story so far has been amazing! It keeps me motivated to keep writing and posting! That being said, this chapter follows parts of the show fairly closely but I've added as much as I can. The initial conversation with the team about where to go for a team outing actually happened in the episode, but again, I added a lot to it. The rest I tried to summarize for the most part.**_

00

Episode 1.12 - Past Lives.

Two weeks back to work after the holidays and Hetty announces it's time for a team outing. She tasks the team with coming up with the best location for said outing.

"I got it!" Kensi says, sitting upright. After she and Callen had discussed and decided against multiple possibilities, she had given into defeat and laid her head onto her desk. And then inspiration strikes again. "The cowboy bar on sunset." She and her husband had gone to the bar for the first time many years ago with friends. The music may not have been their thing, but watching her athletic husband go flying off the mechanical bull was a memory she would never get tired of replaying in her head.

Callen's attention is across the bullpen on Dom, but he still manages to respond to Kensi without so much as turning his head. "With the mechanical bull?"

"Yeah."

Callen turns his attention momentarily away from Dom to Kensi with a firm, "No." He shakes his head. "Hetty plus mechanical bull plus tequila equals bar fight. Trust me; I've been there."

Before Kensi can begin to respond, Callen turns his attention back to Dom. "Dom, is that a doll?"

Kensi furrows her brow and allows her attention to be pull from Callen and discussing team outing locations to Dom and his...doll?

Her partner is sitting at his desk, smiling proudly at what looks like a green bobble head sitting on his desk. "No. This is one of only five hundred Alpha Centauri Imperial Class Guardian bobble heads in the entire world." He almost shakes with happiness before adding, "It's not a doll."

Kensi almost cringes on behalf of her partner.

Callen continues. "You're playing with an alien doll. At work."

Dom surprises them both, though, and doesn't back down. "There is a difference between dolls and bobble heads."

This time Kensi does cringe, because even though she respects her partner for standing up to Callen...she makes a mental note to coach him on being more discerning on when to make those stands. She tries to motion him to stop, but he presses on.

"And Imperial Class Alpha Centauris are only part alien. The other part is cyborg. I mean, everyone..." Dom trails off when he finally notices Kensi shaking her head and motioning for him to stop taking. He clears his throat. "How about Disneyland?" He says, picking up the topic he had walked in on.

"I hate Disneyland," Kensi says immediately.

"Kensi hates Disneyland," Callen announces as Sam and Nate join them.

"The happiest place on Earth?" Sam asks.

"I have issues with grown men in furry costumes." She shudders as she recalls one particular Halloween party in college.

00

 _"It's creepy, right?" She asked her boyfriend as she watched the group of frat boys in an array of really...bad costumes flutter around the party in smaller groups. She kept her back to a wall so they couldn't sneak up on her._

 _Deeks nodded his agreement as he pressed a glass of beer into her hand. "I suggest you drink."_

 _She took the glass with a nod of thanks, her eyes still on the - furry? - young men. "What are they even supposed to be?"_

 _He sighed and swung an arm around her waist. "A rat pack."_

 _"You mean The Rat Pack."_

 _He chuckled. "I don't think they know the difference..."_

 _She laughed, and then made a face and pressed closer to Deeks as two of the guys walked by too close. One was wearing fuzzy pants, no shirt (though his substantial chest hair made her cringe...and oh, God, the back hair!) and brown, fuzzy gloves with fake claws. The other had a full body suit that covered all but his face. And he'd even added a fake nose._

 _Deeks nudged her. "Like I said; drink."_

 _She took a long swig in response. "I seriously think I'm scarred for life."_

 _He laughed. "You've been saying that all week."_

 _"Yeah, well, now it's not just because you made us wear matching costumes,_ Waldo. _"_

 _"Our costumes are awesome, Wenda," He retorted immediately. "If we were anything else, the creepy rat pack would be able to find us." He smiled proudly at his joke._

 _Kensi sighed, knowing he'd bested her. When she glanced at him, he was smirking at her, his eyes sparkling. She couldn't help but smile back. "You think you're funny?"_

 _"I think you think I'm funny."_

00

"I have issues with grown men in furry costumes."

"Unless it's Thursday night?" Sam quips.

Kensi glares at him, playing her part perfectly. She feels Dom's eyes on her and shoots him a smile. Just knowing that someone knows her secret has taken a huge weight off her shoulders.

"What are we talking about?" Nate asks.

"Quality time with the team," Dom says, filling him in.

"Apparently it's been too long since we hung out," Callen adds. "Unless there's a corpse involved."

"We're brainstorming ideas." Kensi explains.

"Bowling," Nate suggests. "It's a great competition. It builds camaraderie. And you get to wear those funny shoes."

"No bowling," Callen and Sam say together.

"Okay," Nate says, "What about the cowboy bar on sunset?"

"Oh, that sounds like fun," Hetty says, joining the team.

"They have a mechanical bull, Hetty," Sam warns.

"Oh. No." She shakes her head. "Never mind."

Any additional discussion is cut short when Hetty advises Callen an alias from an old case has been contacted and that the contactor was subsequently killed. Four years prior, Callen had been undercover as a dirty MP who took down a group of dirty marines who stole money from the navy. Though the guilty individual were caught and incarcerated, the money was never found. And from the information in the e-mail, the convicted thieves didn't know what happened to the money either.

Of the three bad guys, two made deals to testify against the third and were released after four years. The third was still incarcerated.

Kensi is sent to question the third, Montrell Perez, in prison. The meeting is overseen by Perez's overly friendly JAG lawyer, Neil Corby. As much as Kensi wants to tell the man to take a hike, NCIS needs Perez's cooperation and the easiest way to that is through his lawyer, so she plays her part and allows the flirty lawyer's advances to a point.

Unfortunately, her sacrifices don't get her useable information and she grumbles to herself on the long drive back to OPs.

Eric intercepts her once she arrives and before she even makes it to her desk.

"There's a package for you," he announces. "From a JAG lawyer. Corby."

Kensi spots the flowers sitting on her desk as Eric announces who they're from. "You read the card," she accuses.

"Well, for security purposes only," Eric explains weakly. "You know, national security classified document protocol."

Kensi reads the card and rolls her eyes at the cheesy words. "Yeah, he doesn't really have clearance to know about this location."

"He sent them through central NCIS mail dispatch in San Diego," Eric explains, clearly thrown off by how nonplussed Kensi is at having been gifted flowers.

"And in record time," she adds dryly. Seriously. It _was_ a long drive for her from the prison and his office was _much_ closer, but he must have literally stopped at the flower shop on his way back to his office and have had the flowers sent immediately to the central office in San Diego and caught the mail for them to have arrived before her. She had only made two stops herself on the way back from the prison - to run down one lead and to eat lunch.

Eric still looks disappointed that she isn't blushing at the attention or flaunting her flowers. Seriously, if Corby thought he'd impress her with an unnecessarily large bouquet of flowers so quickly he can guess again.

"I hate flowers," she rants, snatching the bouquet off her desk and dumping them unceremoniously onto Callen's desk. If they were small enough to fit into her garbage can, she would have dumped them there.

"Give him points for trying," Eric said.

She glares at him.

He backs away and then heads back up the stairs.

00

Callen and Sam just manage to locate the second guy, when he too is killed. They return to OPs to regroup.

"What the hell are these?" Callen asks, nudging suspiciously at the bouquet of flowers sitting on his desk.

Before Kensi can answer, Eric does it for her.

"Kensi has a secret admirer," He announces. Then he frowns. "Well, an admirer. Not secret. Perez's JAG lawyer, Corby."

Kensi rolls her eyes. "Thank you, Eric."

He does shoot her an apologetic look when he realizes all eyes are now on her.

Callen manages to shoot her a small knowing grin. "A JAG lawyer, huh? Not bad."

"He could offer to _represent_ you," Sam adds on.

Kensi rolls her eyes. "Then I'll tell him I'm happy to represent myself. _Pro per._ " She smiles at her legal joke, but no one smiles back at her.

"Oh, Ms. Blye, I am disappointed in your latin," Hetty says as she joins the team. "That may be a commonly used phrase, but the proper term is-"

" _Pro se_ ," Kensi cuts in before Hetty can correct her, reminding the woman she was once married to a lawyer. And before that was dating, engaged to and married to a law student who she helped study. "I know _pro_ per is the slang term. I was trying to make a joke..." She waves a hand at her oblivious colleagues. "Never mind."

"How do you know that?" Sam asks.

"No, no. The important question here is why do you know that?" Callen asks.

She glares at them both. "I am allowed to know things."

"Normal things," Callen shoots back at her.

She makes a show of sighing. "I dated a law student in college."

Sam scoffs. "And _that's_ what you learned from him? No wonder _that_ didn't last."

She smirks to her partner. "No wonder."

Dom stares at her for a moment and then smiles as understanding settles in his gaze.

00

Unfortunately, with two of their three bad guys dead, Perez is their last viable option for information on the location of the money and on who may have killed the other two. Kensi in sent to speak with his lawyer again.

"This isn't a social call," Corby greets when she walks into his office.

"How did you guess?"

"The flowers weren't nice enough to warrant a same day visit."

She lets him pull a chair out for her and settles in front of his desk. "I hate flowers," she tells him. "But the gesture didn't go unnoticed."

Instead of returning to his chair, Corby sits on the edge of the desk to remain close to her. "What branch of NCIS are you with, anyway? I made an inquiry and got hit with the kind of clearance request you'd expect from Langley." He asks his question lightly, but she senses more than idle curiosity behind it.

She shrugs, her way of telling him she's not going to tell him anything. "There's been another shooting," she says instead.

They discuss the details of the case, sparring slightly at the disagreed upon points. He makes no further attempts to ask about her job and he keeps his distance. She stands to leave and he holds out his hand. As much as this is not a part of her job that she enjoys, she needs to keep him on her side in case they need his help later and she's worried she's pushed him too far away. She steps forward when she shakes his hand. He mirrors her and steps forward as well. She smiles up at him, channeling the single, flirty agent she can be when she needs to be.

"Thank you for the flowers," she tells him. And then she turns to leave. Because Hetty taught her to leave men wanting more.

"You said you didn't like flowers," Corby calls after her.

She turns part way back to him before stepping out the door and shrugs. "I kind of like that you sent them."

When she gets back to her car, she rolls her eyes. "Stupid flowers."

00

When she arrives back to OPs the second time that day, Callen and Sam are a few minutes behind, so it's just her and Dom.

"Sorry there isn't much for you to do on this case," she tells him.

He shrugs. "That's okay." He hesitates before adding. "Sorry your job on this case it to flirt with a prisoner and his lawyer."

Kensi laughs out loud. With some guys, that line would make her feel bad, but Dom is so genuine that she knows he really is sorry for her. "Hey, it's the job."

"Is your... I mean, do you..." He hesitates and trails off.

"My husband knows this can be part of my job, if that's what you're trying to ask," she tells him. "And it can be part of his, too."

"And you're both okay with that?"

Again, Dom's so genuine, she knows he's just trying to understand better because he knows he too may one day be in the same situation.

She shrugs. "Okay is not exactly the right word. _I'm_ not always okay with what I have to do. But I do it for the greater good, you know? Marty and I don't have secrets from each other. And we understand and accept the demands of both of our jobs."

Dom nods. "That's really great," he says, surprising her. "It sounds like you have a really strong marriage."

She finds herself smiling at his comment. "Thank you."

"He was in law school, right? You said earlier to Callen and Sam that you dated a law student in college. You were talking about Marty?"

"Sometimes the best lies have a heaping of truth behind them," she says with a nod. "And, yes. He was a law student," she confirms. "And a lawyer. Spent almost two years working for the public defender's office before moving to the LAPD."

"That's a big change."

"It was," she agrees.

"And now it's normal," He surmises.

"Our normal." She smiles.

"Your normal sounds pretty good."

"It is." She nods. "You know what? You should...come over for dinner and meet him sometime," Kensi suggests.

"Really?"

She nods. "Yeah. You're my partner. You should meet each other. Tomorrow, when this case is finished and the team outing is over, let's pick a day that works for us. Sound good?"

Dom smiles. "Sounds good...partner."

00

A few hours later, Perez is killed in prison and a new line of investigation leads them towards Corby at least knowing something.

Kensi meets him in a train station on the premise of a date, knowing she may well be walking into a trap, but also knowing her team has her back. She lets him take her hand and thread their fingers together. He weaves a story of the fourth man arrested four years prior being an undercover NCIS agent. Kensi play dumb and tells him she'll look into it.

Corby pulls a gun on her to draw out the team. Kensi knows she can struggle for the gun to get it trained off herself, but in such a crowded area, the odds of it going off and hitting an innocent bystander are unacceptably high.

Everything goes to hell when another player shows up unexpectedly. Callen's alias had been dating one of the suspects sisters. She is now engaged to the man who is pointing a gun at Corby who is pointing a gun at Kensi.

On the plus side, the bystanders scatter in a screaming mass of terror. On the down side, Corby shoots the fiancé. With the gun temporarily off herself, Kensi gets away from Corby, and Callen and Sam take him down.

00

"Evil lawyer, that's new," Sam says as he joins the majority of the team in the lounge area. After they closed the case, sent the fiancé to the hospital and recovered the money, Callen had some unfinished business to deal with.

Kensi, Eric and Nate had gathered in the lounge area to wait.

"First time for everything," Nate responds as Sam settles onto the end of the couch.

Kensi frowns and shifts. She had been laying on the couch with her feet up on the back. She moves so she's not in danger of accidentally kicking Sam in the head.

Sam smirks at her. "I guess that didn't help your opinion of lawyers."

"She didn't go out with a lawyer before," Eric quips before she can speak, "Just a law student."

"Eric's right," she says. "I've never dated a lawyer." She bites back a smirk at the fact that she is currently texting the husband who used to be a lawyer. She wishes her partner was here to witness her awesome ability to tiptoe along the line of truth and cover story because she really is on a role today. Unfortunately, Dom took off half an hour ago saying he'd meet them at the bar. She makes a mental note to tell him later.

"What did you do with the flowers?" Sam asks her.

"Burn room."

Sam laughs. "Of course."

"I hate flowers."

"How can you hate flowers?"

"I just do."

00

 _Her father was a well respected man._

 _After her mother had left, they didn't have any family other than the corps. But now that he was gone, men he had served with who couldn't be there to show their respects in person sent their respects in the form of flowers._

 _So, here Kensi found herself, fifteen and alone, choking on the smell of fresh flowers. After the service she had returned to the service hall where she now sat cross legged on the bench seat at the front, staring at the poster sized picture of her father which was standing at attention in the front of the room. He was wearing his uniform, staring proudly at the camera, no hint of a smile. It was picture she had seen before; a picture that was framed in their living room. But it wasn't the man she knew. The man who had raised her was full of smiles and softness. He taught his daughter everything he would have taught a son. But he never regretted not having that son._

 _And he would have hated today. The ceremony and the words. And the flowers._

 _She tried to tell them. The well-meaning adults who had taken charge when her father's body was identified in the car wreck. But she was a fifteen year old girl, so they hadn't listened. They called her 'sweetie' and 'honey' and talked to her in condescending voices. They didn't understand that her father had raised a survivor. A strong young woman who didn't need anyone to take care of her._

 _They had handled her. And they had handled every detail of the funeral. And she knew if she allowed them to, her life for the next two and a half years would be drastically different than what she wanted; than what_ he _wanted for her._

 _A hand fell on her shoulder. One of the well-meaning adults. "It's time to leave, sweetie."_

 _Knowing she had no choice because she was considered a child, she nodded and stood._

 _"Let's choose a bouquet of flowers to take with us, shall we? Brighten up your room?"_

 _She shook her head, unable to fathom the thought. There were just too many. And the colours were too bright and cheerful in drastic contrast to her mood. And then there was the smell. The sweet nectar smell, which twisted down into her lungs and choked at her breathing._

 _"It will make you feel better."_

 _Nothing was going to make her feel better. "I hate flowers," she said._

00

When Callen returns to the office, the team departs together for the karaoke bar Hetty has chosen for their team outing.

The drinks and hors d'oeuvres are good and plenty. After an hour, the team starts to really relax and settle in for a night of team bonding.

Kensi frowns when her partner still has not shown up at ten.

"I'm telling you, he probably has a hot date. I'd give up a team outing for a hot date every time," Eric says.

"Which is why you're here for every team outing," Sam counters immediately.

Eric makes a face, but clearly has no retort.

Callen laughs openly and Kensi can't hide her smile.

00

When Kensi stumbles into the apartment, it's well after midnight and she's pleasantly drunk.

Monty is stretched out in his doggy bed in the living room, and though she stops to pet him, he barely stirs. She moves to the kitchen to pre-emptively swallow an Advil to compensate for tomorrow's hangover and then pushes on towards the bathroom. She brushes her teeth, washes her face, uses the toilet and then washes her hands.

The bedroom is dark and quiet. She quickly strips down and then pulls on an old LAPD tee shirt she finds on the dresser. Deeks must have been wearing it in the evening because it smells like him. As carefully as she can, she slips into bed.

Having clearly heard her come in, Deeks rolls towards her and reaches to pull her close. "You have a good time?"

"Mmm," she mumbles, pressing her lips against his before responding. "I did. I sang karaoke."

He chuckles. "You're drunk."

She scrunches her nose. "Maybe a little. But it was nice. The team hasn't been out for a long time. And it was a shitty case."

He rubs her back. "Case finished?"

She nods and snuggles close with a sigh. "A lawyer sent me flowers."

"You hate flowers."

She smiles against him. "I do hate flowers. And I told him that."

"Did you also tell him you were married to a lawyer once?" He jokes.

Kensi laughs. "Didn't come up. He tried to kill me before I had the chance."

"He...what?" He stutters as he tries to keep up with her explanation.

"Well, sort of. Threatened to shoot me. He was trying to draw out another member of my team... It's a really long story. He was the bad guy. He's no longer breathing."

"Evil lawyer. Huh."

"And I made a _pro per_ joke that no one got."

"That's because it's _pro se_ ," Deeks corrects immediately.

She smiles against his shoulder. "See? You get it."

"Sure." He huffs a laugh. "You're okay, though, right? This evil lawyer didn't hurt you?"

"I'm good," she assures, pulling back far enough to meet his eyes. "He didn't hurt me. No lawyer's any match for me." She raises an eyebrow.

"Oh, really?" He presses her onto her back and follows so he's perched over her. "How about a lawyer turned cop?"

She purses her lips. "I'd like to see him try-" Any further words are cut off when his lips come crashing down onto hers.

00

 _ **AN: According to my research (in my attempt to have Kensi attempt a legal joke that was not to be funny), 'pro se' is the correct term for representing oneself (acting as your own lawyer). 'Pro per' is the slang term.**_

 _ **Also, some fun trivia. In case you didn't understand the reference in the Halloween flashback, Kensi and Deeks are dressed as Where's Waldo characters. What I thought was a simple reference ended up being a surprising amount of research. Originally, Waldo's girlfriend was 'Wilma' and was later changed to Wilma's identical twin 'Wenda.' I initially had Kensi as Wilma, but when I checked the named just to be sure, it led to a good half hour of research and debate over which sister to call her (and time I will never get back...lol).**_

 _ **Also - I just wanted to say I'm not questioning the use or symbolism of flowers at funerals/memorial services. I just used that as a character choice for Kensi to explain her comment (which she actually says on the show, that she hates flowers).**_


	12. Missing

_**AN: This picks up from the morning following the end of the last chapter. I chose not to follow closely to the actual episode for this one, which may surprise you (though the end result will, unfortunately, be the same). Despite the topic of this 'episode,' this is a Deeks focused chapter and most of the content is original.**_

 _ **Quick question - We know Kensi joined NCIS in 2006, but do we know what she did before that? (According to my rough timeline, she would have graduated high school in 2000 and university in 2004, assuming a 4 year degree). In one episode she mentions having computer proficiencies from the FBI, but I'm assuming that was courses and not having been in the FBI seeing as that's never been mentioned that I can remember? Any ideas or memories? Thanks!**_

* * *

Episode 1.13 - Missing

Deeks wakes early and turns off the alarm clock before it has a chance to sound it's morning ritual. His wife groans as he slips out of bed and curls up, pulling the blankets over her head as she cocoons herself.

He bends to press a kiss to the side of her head through the blanket. She mumbles something unintelligible and he chuckles.

He pads his way into the kitchen to retrieve a bottle of Advil and a glass of water. He makes his way back to their bedroom and places both items on her bedside table.

"Water and drugs beside you when you're ready," he says softly, running a hand down her back.

Again, she mumbles something unintelligible.

Leaving her to her hangover from her late night of team bonding, he slips into the bathroom for a quick shower. Once finished, he towels off and wraps the towel around his waist while he brushes his teeth.

Kensi has not left the bed when he makes his way back into the bedroom, but there is less water in the glass and the bottle of Advil has been moved.

"You alive under there?" Deeks asks.

Kensi groans.

He chuckles. "I'll take that as a solid maybe."

She doesn't respond.

"I had to shower all by myself this morning," he says in response to her silence. "After last night I kind of thought you'd join me..."

Still, silence.

"I'm dropping my towel," he continues his one way dialogue. He pulls off his towel and tosses it onto the bed so she knows he's not joking. "I'm naked her, Kens. You're missing the show."

The bed shifts ever so slightly, and he's pretty sure she's trying not to laugh.

"In a minute I'm going to put on clothes and you're going to miss your opportunity to ogle." He turns away to sift through his dresser drawer for a pair of boxers, but when he turns back, he spies a mess of dark brown hair and a pair of dark eyes peeking out at him above the mass of blankets she has commandeered. "Morning," he says softly.

She makes no secret of her wandering eyes as he walks towards her side of the bed. "You know I never miss a chance to ogle," she says, her voice dry and raspy.

He laughs and pulls on his boxers before sitting along the side of the bed.

She makes a face, but then sighs as he runs a hand through her hair.

"How's the head?"

"Not too bad." She sighs again and closes her eyes as his thumb finds her temple and rubs a gentle circle. "I just wish I could sleep for another four or five hours."

"Maybe it'll be a light day for you?"

She makes a face. "Hardly. Apparently we have some sort of workplace safety seminar. It was hell last year."

He laughs. "Workplace safety. Do they not understand what you do for a living? Not exactly a safe job by definition."

Kensi laughs and then winces. "Yeah, well, it's non-optional."

"Well," he ducks down to press a kiss to her temple, "at least you'll have an early day, right? We can have an easy dinner and an early night."

"Sounds perfect."

00

The moment Deeks gets into the precinct, he's sent out to the scene of a murder of a young woman. Still between undercover assignments, he's sent where the manpower is needed. Today, homicide is overwhelmed and he's asked to get started on the investigation. He spends most of the morning on the scene working with the medical examiner and forensic specialists to obtain the basic information needed to start the investigation. The scene is messy and disorganized. His gut tells him this is a textbook crime of passion.

By lunch they finally ID the victim. Between grabbing a bite to eat and notifying the victim's family, he sends his wife a text asking how her seminar is going.

Its three hours of interviews later that he realizes she never responded.

That in itself isn't too unusual. He knows she's focused when at work, so sometimes hours go by before she notices or has a chance to respond to him, even if she's in the office and not in the field. Plus, if a priority case had come in, he knew their seminar would have been cancelled, so she could be out in the field.

He sends her another text saying he hopes her day was going better than his. He had become a cop to help people, not to tell devastated parents their twenty year daughter had been murdered by being repeatedly struck in the head with a baseball bat.

At four, he texts his wife to tell her he won't be home early as they had planned. She hasn't responded all day, so he assumes she's working on a case and won't be home early either, but he sends the message all the same. He wants to get as far in his case as he can before the leads run dry.

A series of interviews leads him to knocking on the boyfriend's door. Several of the victim's friends had told him the relationship had been deteriorating and the victim had recently started seeing another man.

A disheveled and distraught young man opens the door. His eyes tell Deeks everything he needs to know.

"No. No, no, no." He backs away from the door, but leaves it open. "No, I didn't mean to."

Deeks follows slowly, introducing himself and announcing his reason for being there.

"She was cheating on me," he rambles. "And when I called her on it..." his voice cracks, "she laughed at me. And I just... I snapped. And I picked up the bat... And then I was hitting her and I couldn't stop..."

Deeks nods. "Okay."

"It's not okay!" He pulls a small handgun out of his back pocket and aims it at Deeks.

Deeks immediately draws his weapon from his hip. "Look man, what happened already happened. We can't change it. But we can change what's about to happen. Put down the gun, okay? Please don't make me shoot you."

The younger man quivers slightly, but doesn't put the gun down. He looks terrified and swallows hard. His eyes flash around, panicked, and then he looks back to Deeks and a little bit of panic becomes determination.

Deeks was suddenly certain he wasn't going to pull the trigger. The young man felt trapped and helpless and was looking for an easy way out. And Deeks sure as hell wasn't about to be that easy way out to him. "You made a mistake, but you're not a killer are you?" He asks, forcing the man into answering.

He shakes his head.

"So, you're sure as hell not a cop killer, right?"

He hesitates and then shakes his head.

"So, drop the gun so we can talk about this." He pauses. "You're not going to make me shoot you, if that's your angle."

He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment and then turns the gun on himself, the nozzle pressed tightly to his temple.

Deeks takes three running steps forward and tackles him to the ground before he can summon the strength to pull the trigger.

Once both guns are secure, and the suspect has been handcuffed and officially arrested, Deeks calls in to his precinct to advise he will be bringing in his victim's murderer. The precinct will send forensic specialists out to the suspect's apartment.

He leads his suspect out to the car. He's crying and silent for most of the drive to the precinct.

"Why didn't you shoot me?" He asks when they're half way to the precinct.

00

 _Deeks put his car into park and shut off the engine. He slowly took off his seatbelt, but instead of opening his door, he leaned forward to rest his forehead against the steering wheel._

 _He knew this day would come eventually. He had known it could happen the moment he made the decision to leave the Public Defenders' Office to join the LAPD. He just hadn't thought it would happen so soon._

 _Before today he had never fired his weapon before. But he had today, with accuracy._ Dead accuracy.

 _He swallowed hard and felt his chest heave. And suddenly he needed air._

 _He hurriedly opened the car door and sat sideways for a moment, breathing hard. For a moment, all he heard was an internal roaring in his ears. But eventually that gave way and he heard cars on the nearby roads. The wind rustling trees. Birds chirping. People talking. Kids playing in the park down the street._

 _Life was continuing around him._

 _He took a calming breath, reminding himself why he became a cop. These happy people around him, so oblivious to the darkness. He didn't want any of them to be victims. And the man he killed today wouldn't have thought twice about hurting any one of them._

 _After another calming breath, Deeks stood and shut his car door. He slowly made his way up the stairs to his apartment._

 _He could hear his wife puttering in the kitchen the moment he opened the door, and he smiled, grateful she was already home._

 _"Hey!" She called. "You're home early. I was just looking for a snack to tide me over until dinner, but if you're home now we can eat-" She cut herself off as she walked around the corner and caught sight of him. "Are you okay?"_

 _He sighed. "I don't know." He ran a hand through his hair. "No. No, probably not."_

 _She stepped forward and hugged him. "What happened?"_

 _He held her tight and closed his eyes. "I shot someone."_

 _She gripped him a little tighter. "Oh, Marty. I'm sorry. Are you... I mean..." She trailed off. "I'm sure you're not_ okay _, but are you okay?"_

 _He nodded. "I think so?"_

 _She huffed. "That did not sound convincing."_

 _He almost laughed. "I'm still trying to convince myself. Not sure I can convince you, too."_

 _She pulled back far enough to meet his eyes. "What happened?"_

 _"I was on patrol with Greene. We were called to an armed robbery and got there first. The guy was known to the department, just hadn't been caught. He started shooting. Caught Greene in the vest. I drew and fired on instinct." He swallowed hard. "Two in the chest."_

 _Kensi nodded solemnly and didn't have to ask to know he hadn't lived. "That's what you're trained to do."_

 _"That's what my lieutenant said. Said I did a good job." He ran a hand through his hair._

 _"You don't think so?"_

 _"I...don't know what to think."_

 _"Numb?"_

 _He nodded. "Sort of? I know I did everything right. Greene and I could both be dead if I didn't stop him. He gave me no choice. And he was known to be a really bad guy. But I just...I thought it would feel different...Taking a life."_

 _She nodded. "I don't think there's a right way to feel." She lifted her hands to rest on his shoulders and squeezed. "And I don't know how I'll react when it's me. But I know you. And I know you always do the right thing. And if you wallow in it, it can destroy you. Maybe it's just a necessary but unfortunate part of the job?"_

 _He ducked his head down to her level and pressed his forehead to hers. "Maybe."_

 _"Is Greene okay?"_

 _He nodded. "Just bruised."_

 _"That's good. And no one else got hurt?"_

 _"Luckily, no. He was firing pretty wildly. And there were lots of people around."_

 _"That's good, too." She sighed. "They sent you home early today. Do you have to go in tomorrow?"_

 _"Sort of. I'm on administrative duties while there's an IA investigation."_

 _Kensi pulled back to meet his eyes._

 _Deeks immediately missed the closeness of her forehead against his, but smiled at the peeved look on her face. "It's standard," he told her before she could launch into a rant. "Any time a weapon is fired, there's an investigation. They took my gun. And I've already been interviewed. They told me already that there shouldn't be any issues, but it will take about a week. Once done, I have to pass a psych eval and then I get my gun back."_

 _She huffed, but accepted his explanation. "Okay. But you tell me if they give you any issues."_

 _He leaned down to peck her on the lips. "If they do, I'll be sure and tell them my wife is a badass fed."_

 _She offered him a soft smile. "I'm really glad you're okay."_

 _"I'll always do everything in my power to come home to you, Kens."_

 _"I know. And you'll tell me if you start to feel bad about this?"_

 _He nods._

 _"Good. And tonight... Do you need ice cream?"_

 _He can't help the hint of a smile that breaks through his dour mood. "Ice cream is your solution to shooting someone?"_

 _She narrowed her eyes at him. "This isn't exactly an issue most couple deal with, Marty. I'm doing my best. Was that a no to ice cream? Do you want chocolate?"_

 _"How about a twinkie?"_

 _"No, those are mine," she said immediately, in a well practiced move that actually got him to laugh. "How about fish tacos?"_

 _"Should I point out that all your comfort ideas are food related?"_

 _"Well, fish tacos involve going to the beach. You like the beach."_

 _"True-"_

 _"Or sex," she continued, cutting him off._

 _He stared at her, actually smiling as he was reminded how adorable his wife could be. He wasn't exactly okay with what he had done, but he wasn't not okay with it either. He had become a cop for a reason, and today he had proven to himself he could do what it took to be that cop._

 _"Or we could go for a run," Kensi said. "Or-"_

 _He took his turn cutting her off by stepping forward and kissing her softly._

 _"I just need you," he told her._

00

"I didn't shoot you because you weren't actually a threat to me," Deeks tells his suspect. "I could tell you weren't going to shoot me. You just wanted me to shoot you. And I only do that when I have to."

"Why didn't you let me kill myself?" He asks.

"Because it's my job to bring you in alive. You don't get to take the easy way out." He stops at a red light and meets the suspect's eyes in the rear view mirror. "Plus, you're still breathing, so take the win, man."

He sniffs. "What happens now?"

"You're going to make an official statement. And you're going to go to prison." He says it evenly, but doesn't add any extra weight to it. The kid knows what he did and doesn't need Deeks making it worse.

He sets his jaw and nods.

They finish the drive in silence. Deeks pulls into the custody drop off area. "Her family deserves justice, so you need to do what's right here. You need to step up and tell the truth."

He nods.

"But you do have the right to speak with a lawyer before making any statements, you hear me?"

He meets Deeks's eyes through the rear view mirror. "I always thought cops were bullies and hated lawyers."

"Not this cop. You did something really bad and you need to pay for that. But you still have rights."

He falls silent. Deeks exits his LAPD issued vehicle and opens the door to help him out of the car. He ushers him into holding. The officer on duty books him and he's temporarily placed into a holding cell to wait for the lawyer he has now asked for.

"Hey, Detective?" He calls as Deeks turns to walk away.

Deeks turns back.

"When I give my statement, can I give it to you?"

Deeks nods. "Of course."

He checks his phone once he's away from the suspect, but there's still no response from his wife. He texts her asking if everything is okay. It's late and he's starting to get worried.

"Deeks!"

He looks up at the sound of his boss's voice and allows himself to be beckoned into Bates's office.

"I was just leaving for the day when I got a call that you were bringing in a suspect in your murder case?"

Deeks nods. "Yes, sir."

"How good a suspect?"

Deeks smirks. "Oh, he already confessed. Just waiting on his lawyer for an official statement."

Bates swears and shakes his head. "Less than twelve hours to solve a murder?"

Deeks shrugs. "I just do what I can, sir."

"Fake modesty is not your best trait, Deeks."

Deeks laughs.

"What led you to him?"

Deeks launches into a brief summary of the interviews that led him to the suspect. He tells Bates about the standoff between himself and the suspect, and the statements the suspect has already made.

"Why didn't you take the shot?" Bates asks. There's no judgment in his tone, though, just curiosity as he studies Deeks closely.

He shakes his head. "He wasn't going to shoot me. He wanted _me_ to shoot _him_. The only time I was worried he was going to pull the trigger was when he turned the gun on himself, which was why I tackled him."

Bates nods. "You have good instincts. If you're serious about leaving UC work, you think homicide is a good fit?"

Deeks purses his lips. He doesn't mind the investigation side of things. He likes evaluating the story, finding the inconsistencies, tracking the leads. He just doesn't like the...murder. "Maybe," he hedges.

Bates nods. "Think about it."

Deeks leaves Bates's office and returns to holding to check on his suspect. The lawyer has just arrived, so he leads them both to an interview room and leaves them there to talk.

Kensi still hasn't responded to any of his messages and he's starting to worry. He finds a quiet corner and places a call. It goes straight to voicemail. "Hey, it's me," he tells her voicemail, "I know we had exciting plans for an early night and it seems neither one of us are following through." He laughs and then swallows hard. "Look, I just know you were supposed to have that seminar, and I haven't heard from you all day. It's late and I'm...starting to worry. I know you're probably out kicking ass and taking names, but can you just let me know you're okay when you get a chance? I love you, Kens."

It's after ten before he finishes taking his suspect's statement. He then drives to the victim's parent's house in person to share the news. He can't bring back their daughter, but knowing the murderer is in custody owning up to his crime is the best he can offer. There will be no manhunt and no trial. He's pleading guilty and will go to prison to pay for his crime.

It's midnight by the time he gets home.

Monty meets him at the door. Deeks had called his mother-in-law at dinner time when he knew he wouldn't be getting home and he hadn't been able to reach Kensi. Julia had been happy to run over to their apartment to walk and feed the dog.

He takes Monty for a quick walk and then paces the apartment, agitated. He still hasn't heard from Kensi. And he doesn't even know who to call to find out if something is wrong.

Monty lays back down, but watches him, his head resting on his paws and his eyes following Deeks as he paces back and forth.

Finally, the dog whines, stopping Deeks in his tracks. Knowing he can't continue to pace all night and knowing there's no way he's going to get to sleep without know where his wife is, Deeks heads down the hall. He strips off his clothes, jumps into the shower and tries to scrub away the darkness of the day.

He's only feeling a small amount better when he gets out of the shower. He knows he may be overreacting. With her job, there have been times where she's been out of touch for twelve and twenty four hours at a time due to her cases. It doesn't mean anything is wrong. But he'd spent the day working on the murder case of a young woman, and he can't help but let one untimely death add to his worry.

He towels off and walks back into the bedroom. He pulls on boxers and is just pulling a tee shirt over his head when he senses a change in the apartment. The hairs on the back of his neck stand up and he knows suddenly that he's not alone.

He pads quietly down the hall and the moment he reaches the living room all the tension he's been building all day releases. Because his wife is curled on the couch with their dog. Monty has his entire upper body in her lap and Kensi has her head ducked down as she whispers to him.

"You're home," Deeks states. His chest heaves once.

She doesn't say anything, but she nods, her head still tilted down towards the dog.

He feels a surge of anger well in his chest. "I've been trying to reach you all day. You do know it's one in the morning, right?"

"I'm sorry." She says it so softly, he barely hears it.

"Sorry?" He echoes. "Kens, I was worried sick, here. I thought something had happened to you! What if you never came home? I don't even know who to call if-" He stops talking the moment she lifts her head. Her face is pale and haggard, but it's her eyes that strike dread into his soul. They're dark and haunted, not to mention completely bloodshot.

"I-I haven't been checking my phone," she whispers. "I'm sorry," she says again.

He shakes his head, all anger gone and replaced with concern. Because something is very, very wrong. He hurries forward to kneel in front of her and reaches for her hands. The last time she had been so distraught was when her team leader had been shot in a drive by and barely survived. "What happened?"

She leans forward, Monty between them, and rests her forehead to his. She releases a shuddery breath. "My partner didn't show up this morning." She swallows hard. "He's...missing."

"Dom?" Deeks supplies the name.

She sniffs and nods against him. "Someone took him. We tracked him all day, but..."

"Oh, Kens..." He hugs her tight until Monty groans his displeasure at being squashed between them. "Sorry, buddy," Deeks whispers, patting the dog, before pulling back for long enough to stand and then wedge himself onto the couch beside his wife. He wraps his arms around her and pulls her against him. "What happened?"

"Someone took him last night. Ambushed him in his car on his way home. When he didn't show up for the team outing, we thought he had something else to do..." She shudders in his arms and he knows she's crying. It tugs violently on his heart. He _hates_ when she cries.

"It's not your fault."

"This morning he sent out a distress code from his phone. He was taken by these two Mexican brothers. We got to them through their sister, who's a nurse. She said he was shot." Her voice cracks, but she presses on. "But not too serious. She helped patch him up. The brothers dropped him in a van on the outskirts of the city."

"They were hired to pick him up," Deeks surmises.

She nods. "They said they didn't know who hired them. They both died in a firefight with us. So, either way there aren't any more leads. When we got to the van, it was empty."

Deeks hugs her close and closes his eyes, taking a moment to be selfish and thankful that it wasn't his wife who was taken. "Has there been a case recently that could have pissed someone off more than usual?"

She shakes her head, tears running in quiet streams down her cheeks. "We went through everything we could. He's just...he's so new, Marty. He hasn't been around long enough to have enemies."

"I'm so sorry, Kens."

Her body shakes as she starts crying in earnest.

He loses track of how much time passes as he holds her, his hand rubbing her back as she cries herself out. Ten minutes. Twenty. Thirty.

"I don't understand why this happened," she eventually whispers.

"I wish I had an answer for you," he whispers back. "Sometimes bad things happen. I wish I could promise that you'll find him. I wish I could promise that everything will be okay."

"I wish you could, too," she says softly, before falling silent again.

He presses a kiss to her head and falls silent with her. And together they sit for a long time.

Finally, Deeks nudges his wife. It's nearly two in the morning. "Have you eaten at all today?"

She shakes her head. "Not really."

"Why don't you have a quick shower; it'll make you feel better. I'll make us something to eat."

She reaches to cup his jaw with her palm. "You can go to bed. You have to go to work in a few hours."

He presses his hand over hers against his cheek and then ducks his head to kiss her. "We both have to work in a few hours. And if you're not going to bed, I'm not going to bed."

She smiles softly at him. "I know I can't sleep right now. Not when he's out there, injured and alone."

"Hey," he calls softly. "I know. I get it." He kisses her again. "I'm here; for whatever I can do, okay?"

She nods. "I washed his dishes."

"Hmm?"

"I went to his apartment, earlier when we were looking for clues. He had a few dirty dishes in his sink. I went back. After. To clean them." Her eyes well. "Because the rest of his apartment was spotless and I didn't want his parents to have to deal with them when they came."

"I'm sure they'll appreciate that."

She nods absently.

He gives her a moment and then gently tugs her to her feet. "Have a shower," he prompts. "You'll feel better."

"Okay."

She wanders down the hall.

Monty looks up at him from his spot on the couch and Deeks swears he sees concern in the canine's eyes. "It's okay, buddy," he assures the dog. "She came home to us."

Monty lays his head down on his paws, but doesn't appear to have been reassured. Deeks rubs his head before turning for the kitchen. He hears the water turn on, so he knows Kensi has made it to the shower.

He heats up some leftover chicken and makes a small salad. It's ready by the time Kensi shuffles back down the hall, dressed in pajama pants and one of his LAPD tee shirts. Her hair is damp and pulled back into a pony tail.

"Feel any better?"

She offers him a brave smile. "A little."

He sets their plates down at the table and motions for her to sit. He turns back to the fridge and pours them both a glass of orange juice and then joins her.

She mostly picks at her meal, but eats enough that he's satisfied.

"I invited him over for dinner," she says out of nowhere.

"Hmm?"

"Just..." She runs a hand through her hair. "God, was it only yesterday? We were talking about you. I said he should come over for dinner soon and meet you. We were going to talk today; pick a day."

He reaches across the table for her hand. "Let's hope we get the chance to have that dinner one day."

Most of the rest of the meal is silent. When he's done and she's finished picking at her plate, they work together in a well practiced rhythm to scrape and rinse the plates. They leave them in the sink to wash in the morning.

With nothing left to occupy her hands, Kensi wraps her arms around her middle as she stands in the middle of their small kitchen. She looks so lost he can do nothing other than envelope her in his arms.

"I'm so sorry, Kens."

She shifts to grip at the material of his shirt with her hands. "I feel like I should be doing something."

"If there was anything to do, I'm sure you and your team would be on it."

"He's out there...alone. Hurt."

He holds her tighter. "They wanted him alive," he reminds her. "That has to mean something."

She sniffs and presses her face into the crook of his neck.

"Come and lie down with me," he urges.

She shakes her head. "I can't sleep."

"You don't have to sleep. Just close your eyes and let your body rest. In a few hours you're going to be going into work and I know your team is going to be going at this with everything you have. So, you need whatever rest you can get."

"Okay," she says quietly.

He presses a kiss to her head and releases her. They make their way to the bedroom, turning off lights as they go. He gets into bed and lays on his back and she crawls in after him, settling against his chest with her head resting on his shoulder.

He runs his hand up and down her spine, offering as much comfort as he can. "Close your eyes, Kens."

She shifts a bit against him and then sighs. "I love you, Marty. So much."

He stills his hand for a moment and cranes his neck to press a kiss to the top of her head. "I love you, too. More than anything."

She's silent for a long moment before whispering, "What if we don't find him?"

He says nothing for a long moment because he honestly doesn't know what to say. He wants to reassure her that they'll find him and he'll be fine, but he knows the odds are not in their favour. He wants to offer his help, but he knows that's not possible when he's not even allowed to know where she works. He wants to fix this for her, but he knows he can't. Finally, he goes with honesty. "I don't know, Kens. I don't know what will happen. But I do know that wherever he is, he knows you're not going to give up on him."

Something he said must have helped, because she relaxes just a bit against him.

"Just rest your eyes," he murmurs into her hair.

She sighs, and he knows she's closed her eyes. "You, too," she whispers back.

"Me, too."

An hour later he's still holding her just as tight. She hasn't moved, save for the rise and fall of her chest against his, which has gradually evened out. He thinks she may have actually managed to drift off.

He wants to run his hand along her back and press a hundred kisses to her head and pull her even closer to him than she already is. But he refrains, afraid of waking her from her very delicate sleep. For now, he makes himself happy with simply being so near her.

He's never been more certain of his decision to give up his long term undercover work than he is in this moment. Because he wants to be home. He needs his wife. And she needs him to be there for her. If she and her team is unable to find her partner, he knows she's going to be devastated. And his heart breaks at the knowledge that he may not be able to be there for her if the worst should happen.

00

 _ **AN: I would like to apologize if after reading the last chapter you were looking forward to Deeks and Dom meeting. That was never going to happen (they never met on the show) and it didn't occur to me when I wrote that scene (Kensi suggesting it to Dom) that some people reading wouldn't be following the timeline as closely as others.**_

 _ **In the show, during the episode 'Missing' there's a scene where Kensi and Nate go to Dom's apartment looking for information and Kensi tells Nate she's never been to Dom's apartment before. Nate tells her it can take a long time to be invited to the home of a co-worker. Because this chapter was from Deeks's POV, that scene clearly wasn't going to be written, so Kensi inviting Dom for dinner was actually designed as a call out to that scene. Again, sorry if it had you looking forward to a scene between Kensi, Deeks and Dom. (And if you're reading this and wondering why that scene still can't happen one day, please go and read the AN at the beginning of chapter 4).**_


	13. LD50

_**AN: Made some slight changes to the dialogue from this episode to make the chapter flow a little easier (mainly just removed a bit) - just a heads up that it was intentional in case you notice.**_

00

Episode 1.14 - LD50

Kensi jolts awake at the sound of the alarm clock sounding in the otherwise silent room. She groans and twists her neck to press her face into the pillow. Beside her, she hears her husband echo her groan. The bed shifts and then the horrible sound stops. The bed shifts again and then he's pressed against her back.

"Morning," he says.

"Morning," she mumbles into the pillow, causing him to chuckle. "I don't want to get up," she adds.

He presses a kiss to the back of her neck. "Me neither. We could just stay here all day. Play hooky."

She smiles at suggestion, knowing he's not actually serious because they're both far too committed to their jobs. But the thought of spending the day avoiding the world with him is nice. "That sounds nice."

He sighs. "I wish I could make this better for you."

Kensi rolls in his arms to face him and then rests her head on his shoulder when he moves onto his back. She hasn't been sleeping well in the two weeks since her partner disappeared. There has been a lot of long and frustrating days of no leads and ever increasing tension at work. At night, she's waking to flashes of images from vague nightmares. "You are," she says, rubbing her hand back and forth over his chest. He continues to be there for her every day. He can't fix the situation, but the comfort he offers is what's getting her through each day.

He presses a kiss to her head.

"My boss had us give recommendations for a replacement," she whispers into his chest.

He rubs her back. "Already?"

"She said we at least need someone here temporarily," she echoes Hetty's words to the team. "It's been two weeks. And even if we find him..." She trails off as she realizes she's said 'if' and not 'when.' She swallows hard and presses on. "Even if we find him, he won't be able to come back right away, or maybe ever. And we're short staffed."

"So, you gave a recommendation."

She sniffs and nods. "I felt awful for doing it."

"He would understand."

"I know he would. But I just... It doesn't make it right. Or fair."

"Nope," he agrees.

"And I know my boss felt awful for asking. She was...weird about it."

"Weirder than normal?"

She actually smiles at that. She has told her husband some of the Hetty-lore stories over the years. "Weirder than normal," she agrees. "When I went to her with my recommendations, she..." Kensi trails off for a moment, trying to manage her thoughts. "It was strange. I pointed out the two that looked like they'd be a good fit. She said she appreciated my input. But it felt like she was just going through the motions, you know?"

"Like she doesn't actually plan to bring someone else in? Or like she already has someone in mind?"

She shifts so she's resting her chin on his chest and can kind of see his face. "Neither? Both? She's impossibly hard to read." She thinks back to the previous day when she met with Hetty to discuss her choices. She had named both agents and Hetty had known each by name, along with every detail in the file Kensi had been given. The discussion had been somber, of course, which was not unexpected. But Hetty _had_ given her the impression like they were just going through the motion. If she had someone in mind, why go through the ruse of discussing the choices? Hetty had seemed...resigned. "But I got the impression there was more going on than just Dom."

He runs his hand up her spine. "For the record, I hope she does have someone in mind. Even if he or she is just temporary."

She runs her hand back and forth along his chest. "Why?"

He cranes his neck so he can meet her eyes. "I happen to have a vested interest in your safety. It would be good to know someone awesome is there to have your back."

She offers him a soft smile. "I'll let you know what happens."

Before he can respond, the alarm goes off again, making them both cringe.

He sighs. "One more snooze?"

She closes her eyes for a moment, and then shakes her head. "No, I need to get into work." She reaches over him for the alarm on his nightstand and turns off the alarm.

He grunts slightly as she uses his chest as leverage to reach the alarm, but she laughs, knowing he's over exaggerating his discomfort. She ducks down to kiss him soundly and then rolls out of bed.

They go through their morning routine together. She showers and then dresses for work while he's in the shower. She makes them a simple breakfast while he walks Monty. They leave the apartment together and separate at their respective cars.

"Try to have a good day," he tells her.

She hugs him tight. "I will. You, too, huh?"

He presses a kiss to her cheek and smiles at her.

"What?" She asks, thrown off by his warm smile.

He shrugs and continues to smile at her. "Nothing. I just...I like this."

She raises an eyebrow.

His smile doesn't lessen in the slightest. "You. Me. Something normal." He shrugs again. "I'm looking forward to doing this every day."

Before she knows it, she's hugging him again. "Me, too, Marty."

00

~August 2001~

 _Kensi growled as she dug through a box of her things, but came up empty. She moved on to the next box, slicing the tape with the kitchen knife she had pilfered from the drawer. She smiled at the sight of the jacket shoved into the top of the box, thinking this was the right box, but when she pulled the jacket out, it was far too large to be hers._

 _This was one of Deeks's boxes._

 _"Crap!" She shoved the jacket back into the box and moved onto the next._

 _She was three boxes further along when Deeks found her._

 _"Okay, we're all going to take a deep breath together and put down the knife," he said with a goofy smile._

 _She glared at him._

 _He cocked his head. "You have to admit you do look a little like a crazy person." He stepped forward and waved a hand as he approached her. "All wild eyed and knife wielding."_

 _She tried to keep glaring, but a smile successfully fought its way to her face._

 _He reached her and gently prised the knife from her grip. "Only living together a day and a half, and already you're plotting my demise."_

 _She reached up on her tiptoes to kiss him. "Never," she declared. "But I need to find the box with my shoes or I'm going to be late for work."_

 _He pursed his lips. "Would it be inappropriate if I took this moment to remind you that I wanted to label the boxes?"_

 _She glared at him again and crossed her arms._

 _He nodded. "Okay. It would be inappropriate." He ducked his head to kiss her cheek. "You were right about not having to label anything. It clearly didn't cause_ any _problems."_

 _Again, try as she might to keep glaring at him, she just couldn't._

 _"Why can't you wear your runners?"_

 _"Because I have to wear 'suitable' shoes," she said, making air quotes._

 _"I don't know what that means, but I will help you find your 'suitable' shoes," he said, also making air quotes and making her laugh._

 _Deeks quickly made his way through the living room area of their new studio apartment - still small, but much larger than his previous studio apartment - cutting open the boxes while she searched the contents._

 _"Aha!" She finally exclaimed on the second last box._

 _"Really? Statistically, it should not have taken that many boxes to find your shoes."_

 _She rolled her eyes as she used his shoulder to steady herself as she slipped on her shoes. "At least they're all open now."_

 _"There is that." He wrapped his arms around her._

 _She pressed into him and hugged him back. "I really have to get going in a minute." Their new apartment wasn't far from Deeks's old apartment, which she had spent a fair number of nights at, so she new roughly how long it took to get to her numerous summer jobs from the area, but she didn't want to take any chances._

 _He kissed her before releasing her. "I'm right behind you. Probably have to leave in half an hour." He surveys the many open boxes. "Hopefully we can make a dent on this tonight."_

 _She nodded and headed for the door. When she turned back to say goodbye, he was smiling at her. "What?"_

 _He shrugged. "Nothing. I just...I like this. You. Me. Living together. I'm looking forward to doing this every day."_

 _"Our new normal."_

 _"Our new normal," he echoed with a hopeful tone she rarely heard from him._

00

Kensi's expectations for another day spent hunting down non-existent leads is dashed the moment she gets to work. Hetty immediately sends her up to OPs.

She drops her bag at her desk and heads up the stairs. Callen is in OPs chatting with Eric.

"Hetty said we have a case," Kensi says as she walks in.

Eric nods. "She wants me to wait to brief you until you're all here."

She nods and glances at her watch. It was still early.

"Sam should be here soon," Callen adds.

"Any leads?" She asks, even though she knows she would already have been told if there were.

Eric shakes his head. "None. I've got kaleidoscope running every search I can think of. I've searched every database, hacked every surveillance camera, reached out to every agency..." He shakes his head and looks momentarily lost.

Kensi glances at Callen who looks just as frustrated. She looks back to Eric. "You've done great work, Eric," she tells him. "Dom knows we're looking for him. And our lack of success so far has nothing to do with any lack of ability or effort on your part."

Eric nods at her.

"Kensi's right," Callen adds. "You've gone above and beyond, man." He sighs. "We're going to find him. But we have to be realistic. It may take time and we have other cases that need our time and focus as well."

"I just thought we'd have found him by now."

"Me, too," Callen says.

Kensi nods her agreement.

"But we need to focus on our other cases, too," Callen repeats.

Kensi reluctantly nods again. Eric follows suit.

The doors open and Sam comes in, having also been sent up by Hetty.

"Ah, she found you," Callen says.

"She always does," Kensi adds.

"Yeah." He nods as he joins them. "Go ahead, Eric."

Clearly happy to be able to do something productive, Eric jumps in and quickly explains their first new case in two weeks. Two nights prior, ATF had raided what they had thought to be a gun running organization. What they found was a well equipped lab with five dead bodies without any obvious cause of death. Two of the dead men were wearing marine uniforms.

"Uniforms are authentic, but the men are not," Eric says, showing them a picture of the dead men in marine uniforms.

"They're not marines?" Kensi asks.

Eric shakes his head. "Not even close. "Both guys are career criminals."

"If these guys aren't real marines, it's not our problem," Sam says. "LAPD should be handling it."

"They are," Eric says. "But Director Vance wants to know why two criminals were impersonating marines with some very authentic looking military ID," he pauses to show pictures of the ID cards the men had been carrying, "And what the hell they were up to. He wants assurances that the security of our bases has not been compromised."

The team splits up to begin their investigation. Callen and Sam visit the lab while Kensi hangs back to research with Eric. They find a vector between a recurring phone number and GPS location visited by one of the fake marine's car. Callen and Sam visit the house, only to find a retired military scientist well past the early stages of dementia.

She recognizes pictures of the dead fake marines. She thought they were marine corps drivers, taking her to a military research lab to serve her country. She thought she had been helping with antidote research.

She tells them she isolated several grams of botulinum toxin, a highly dangerous substance with the lowest median lethal dose known to man.

Eric finds a connection between one of the dead fake marines and a former employer. Callen and Sam pay him a 'visit' and learn about a man named The Dutchman who is selling botulinum toxin.

Knowing the Dutchman is in Los Angeles to sell the biochemical weapon, they look into potential buyers. Interpol reports stopping several persons of interest from boarding international flights bounds for LA. They put LAX on alert, and quickly get a hit on an individual named Amputuan on the no fly list landing in LA. He is detained and questioned and admits that the Dutchman is auctioning off the toxin in LA. He doesn't know the location, but knows the rendezvous point, where a would be bidder could be picked up and taken to the proceedings.

With little to no time to spare, the team forms a plan. Sam will go to the sale acting as Amputuan's muscle, authorized to negotiate on his behalf. When he tells the bad guys Amputuan was picked up at the airport, he'll be telling the truth, so it'll look better on him if he's asked. Callen and Kensi will follow with a team of agents and take down the seller and all potential buyers once the location is known.

With the plan in place, Kensi and Callen sit together in a car down the street from Sam while he waits at the rendezvous point.

"Sam looks like he's getting impatient," she comments.

"He is," Callen confirms. "And in about ten seconds, he's going to complain about it."

She smiles and continues to watch silently until about ten seconds later she hears Sam say over the com, "They're late."

"You guys know each other pretty well, huh?" She says to Callen. She's always respected their close partnership. It's not something she's ever been able to experience, but has always wanted to.

"Well, we should," he says. "We've been together longer than most married couples in this town."

She bites back a smile at his comment, knowing he and Sam have been partners for three years. And also knowing she's been married more than twice that long.

She wants a partnership like Callen and Sam have. She wants to know what it is to have someone at work to trust and rely on. And she had wanted to work towards that with Dom. But her marriage and relationship with her husband is the single most important thing in her life. She can trust and rely on her husband in every other aspect of her life. And until she gets her partner back, that's just going to have to be enough.

"You worried about him?" She asks, pushing thoughts of her own missing partner from her mind.

He considers her question for a moment before responding. "Right now I'm worried about all of us."

Kensi sighs. "Yeah. Me too."

Eventually, Sam is approached and with a little convincing, he's taken to the auction location.

Kensi and Callen follow behind.

As Kensi, Callen and the helping team of agents surround the building, Sam gives operational details as best he can from the inside. They are just about to breach when the seller announces they are planning a demonstration. They have a man about to release a small amount of the toxin into a mall, but don't name the mall.

They back off their assault of the building needing to know where the attack is going to take place.

Kensi and Callen head to the closest mall while the other agents go to other mall. At OPs, they are watching multiple feeds looking for any clues. They locate the man in the mall where Kensi is and she finds him before Callen.

Alone and without backup, she does her best to take him down despite the crowd of panicked and screaming people. She takes a shot through the crowd and successfully hits the suspect, but he manages to toss the vial of toxin off the balcony of the mall towards the lower floor. Unable to do anything more than watch, she hurries to the railing in time to see Callen dive across the floor to catch the vial. He stands and stares at his hand. The next thing Kensi knows, Sam tackles him into the fountain.

She heaves a breath as Sam forces Callen's hand under the water level and then stabs him with a needle, surmising the vial must have broke when he caught it. She glances towards the escalator, wanting desperately to be with her team, but the guy who threw the vial over the railing is lying on the floor a few feet from her, bleeding from his shoulder, so she knows she can't go to them.

Tearing herself away from the sight, she moves to the suspect and quickly rolls him over to zip tie his hands. He complains about his shoulder, but she snaps at him, threatening him with further bodily harm if anything happens to her team.

They're already down one member. She can't lose another.

Soon LAPD, hazmat and additional NCIS agents arrive on scene. She passes the suspect into the custody of other agents. Callen and Sam have been taken into a temporary clean room brought in by hazmat, so she can't see them, but she stays close. She spends the better part of an hour pacing back and forth.

Hazmat confirms no hint of traces of the toxin in the air, but the mall is evacuated and the ventilation is shut down just to be safe. The temperature cools and Kensi starts to feel chilled, but doesn't stop her pacing.

It is suggested that she leave the area at one point, but she flashes her badge and makes it quite clear that she's not going anywhere without her team. After that, no one bothers her again.

When Callen and Sam are finally released, they are laughing and joking as normal. And other than a bandage on Callen's hand, neither look any worse for wear.

She hurries up to them. "You guys okay?"

"We're good," Sam assures.

She exhales a slow breath, borrowing her husband's calming method. For a moment she just really wants to hug them both. But after several seconds too much time has passed. "I'm glad." She swallows hard and forces a smile to her face. "You can't leave me alone with Eric and Nate."

Callen laughs, grateful for her attempt at getting them back to normal. Because they deal with the horrors of their jobs through humour. And there's been a distinct lack of that since Dom disappeared. "Don't forget Hetty."

"And I'm sure Renko would help out once in a while," Sam chimes in.

She rolls her eyes. "It's not like I don't do all the work around here anyway."

They both scoff at her.

"I was the one arresting our bad guy while you two were swimming in the fountain."

They glance at each other and then back at her. Clearly neither have a good retort to that.

"I caught the vial," Callen finally says.

"You broke the vial," Sam adds. "If you'd caught it successfully, this fuss wouldn't be necessary." He waves at the hazmat team still working around them.

Callen glares at his partner. "You're supposed to be on my side."

"She was going to use that argument anyway."

"I don't care. You're my partner."

Sam sighs and turns to Kensi. "He caught the vial."

Kensi raises an eyebrow. "He broke the vial," she says.

Sam turns back to Callen. "See?"

They continue to bicker at each other. Kensi tunes them out as she motions for them to follow her to the car. She pretends to ignore them as they argue together all the way to the car, but she's smiling to herself. It's nice to have a moment of normal.

00

Kensi is still cold when she gets home. She has plans for a hot shower and warm clothes and spending the evening snuggling with her husband on the couch.

She's surprised when she opens the apartment door to find her husband already home. He's sitting on the couch with Monty beside him.

"Hey, you're home early," she says. She shuts the door behind herself and drops her bag onto the floor. "I had a hell of a day and-" She cuts herself off when she turns back to him. He's standing now, staring at her. And she knows that look.

She closes her eyes and nods. When she opens her eyes, he's still in the same place. "How soon?"

"Tomorrow."

She feels tears sting her eyes and she shakes her head, trying to get rid of the sensation.

"Kens," he murmurs, moving towards her.

"It's okay," she assures. "I'm okay. I just... You..."

He wraps her in his arms. "I've been home for a long time."

She nods against his chest. "You have."

He holds her tighter. "I don't want to leave you now, Kens. But my boss doesn't know what you do, so I couldn't tell him about your partner..."

"We're going to find him. But it may take a long time." She pulls back far enough to meet his eyes. "We can't stop living while he's gone." If she's learned anything today, it's that life has to move forward without Dom. They will never stop looking for him, but her team needs to move forward and get back to normal with other cases. And she and Deeks can't pause their life.

He cants toward her to press his forehead against hers. "I still don't want to leave you right now."

She closes her eyes and breathes for a long moment. "But you have to, right? And when you're back that's one less assignment until you're home for good."

He shifts his forehead off hers and replaces it with his lips. "Right," he murmurs against her.

She reaches up to grasp his cheeks and pulls him down for a deep kiss. "We knew this would happen," she says, not knowing if she's telling him or herself.

"I kind of hoped it wouldn't," he whispers.

She kisses him again. "You're good at what you do, Marty. They need you undercover a little longer."

"I need to be here. You need me here."

Kensi nods. "You're right. But I can manage for a little while without you. As long as you come home to me."

"I always want to come home to you." He kisses her hard.

She kisses him back, pressing into him. "So, if you're leaving tomorrow, we have tonight to say goodbye?"

He raises an eyebrow. "Bed?"

She pecks his lips. "Shower first. I'm freezing."

They share a shower and stay in until the water is cold and Kensi is warm. Then they fall into bed together.

"So," Deeks says, a couple hours later as they lie curled up together in bed, "How was your day?"

She presses her cheek against his chest and sighs. "Crazy, but okay. We had a case. Saved the world. Killed some fish." She laughs as she remembers Hetty explaining to her and Callen that the fish in the mall fountain had gone 'belly up' from the botulinum toxin and NCIS was being billed for the cost.

"Do I want to know?"

"There was a...substance," she says carefully, "That we had to recover. In a public place...that had a fountain with fish. The substance was recovered, but ended up in the fountain."

"And killed the fish."

She nods. "Apparently they were fancy Japanese koi. NCIS is being billed seventy two thousand dollars."

"For fish!" He exclaims.

She laughs at the knowledge that his reaction mirrored her own.

"Do you know what we could do with that much money?"

She smiles and pats his bare chest. Just simply due to their background, they've always been extra careful with their money. They've scrimped and saved and gone without a lot of luxuries. But they have savings in the bank and no more student loans. "That's what I said."

"Can you imagine spending that much money on fish?"

She laughs again. "No." Even with his impending absence looming over them, she's glad they can be happy together right now. "What would you do with that much money?"

"Put it in the bank."

"No." She huffs at his responsible answer. "If you had to be frivolous. No saving allowed. What would you do with it?"

He runs his hand up and down along her spine as he contemplates her question. "Can real estate be considered non-frivolous?"

"Real estate?"

"Yeah. A down payment on a house."

She smiles. "A house would be nice."

"With a yard. I've always wanted a yard. And more than one level. And a garage. Oh, and maybe a pool."

"And a hot tub," she adds.

"Oooh, definitely a hot tub."

"And big windows with lots of light. And a kitchen with a dishwasher. I'm _so_ tired of hand washing _everything_."

He chuckles. "Agreed."

"How about a basement with an area for a home gym?"

"You know how much I love working out." He presses a kiss to her head.

"I do know." She smiles.

"And a garage big enough for a space to fit our surf boards."

"And a bedroom with two closets so we don't have to share anymore."

"You mean so my clothes aren't suffocated by yours?"

She scoffs. "You totally have more clothes than me."

"Not true."

"Totally true," she mutters against the skin of his bare chest.

He chuckles, but lets it go. "We'll have our house one day, Kens."

She nods. "I know."

He falls silent for a long moment. "I'd also take you on a trip."

"Hmm?"

"If I had that much extra money," he clarifies. "I've always dreamed of us going on some epic vacation."

She smiles at the thought. "Somewhere warm or cold?"

"Either. Both."

"I'd like that."

"Me, too." He sighs. "We should plan something. Maybe next year?" He suggests. "When I'm done with undercover work and things have settled down. We should go away, have a real vacation."

She raises her head to meet his eyes. "I'd love that." She reaches to cup his jaw. "But every vacation with you has been real."

00

 _"We're totally lost."_

 _"We're not lost."_

 _"Then where are we?"_

 _"We're...on the road...between San Francisco and Seattle." He smirked at his answer._

 _She rolled her eyes. "You're an idiot."_

 _"Maybe," he conceded, "But you're stuck with me." He waved his left hand for emphasis._

 _"Yeah, yeah." She muttered, though she was smiling._

 _He returned his hand to the steering wheel, but he was still smirking._

 _"For the record, I like being stuck with you," she said. "But you're not going to like sleeping in the car." She smirks. "Again."_

 _He made a face. "That's true."_

 _In celebration of her graduating from university, they had set out on a road trip up the west coast. No reservations. No daily driving quota. Just see where the road took them. Unfortunately, night two had taken them nowhere near a hotel, motel or camping ground. Finally, they pulled into a twenty four hour roadside stop and slept in the car. Kensi, who was a good half foot shorter than her husband, was able to curl up in the backseat. Unfortunately, Deeks had slept fitfully in the passenger seat._

 _"I'm sure we'll find something," she soothed, hoping she was right._

 _"Shouldn't have spent so much time at the Goonies' house." He said flatly._

 _She laughed. "You know you would have regretted not spending that much time there."_

 _He shrugged. "True."_

 _She reached her hand across the centre of the car to rest on his knee. The sun was just starting to drop in the sky. She wasn't overly worried about their ability to find lodging for the night, though it was fun to tease her husband. A vacation with no rules. It was nice to not have a plan for once. After four years of university, to suddenly have no assignments and exams and no classes, she had been feeling a little at odds with herself._

 _"What are you thinking about?" He asked softly._

 _She squeezes his thigh. "I'm just...really enjoying this."_

 _He landed his hand onto hers and squeezed. "Me, too, Kens. Me, too."_

00

They drag themselves out of bed later in the evening for dinner. She lets him pick the takeout, and they end up eating Chinese curled up together on the couch.

She takes a proffered container from him and offers one in exchange. She takes a bite of the beef and vegetable dish, and then sighs and leans into him. "Did they say what assignment this is?" She asks.

"I don't know all the details," he tells her. "But it's taking down a drug distribution ring."

She frowns, but he presses a kiss to the side of her head.

"They told me the assignment is relatively low risk. They said they needed someone in my demographic. Male, late twenties or early thirties. Fit. Some self-defense skills."

She glances at him. "That's awfully specific to infiltrate a drug ring."

He shrugs. "We may not be as high tech as you guys, but we do know what we're doing."

She rolls her eyes and gently elbows him. "You know I wasn't question you or the LAPD. It's just...strange."

"I'm sure it'll make more sense tomorrow when I'm briefed." He pulls her close again. "And I'll tell you all about it when I'm home."

She closes her eyes and allows herself to imagine them several weeks or months from now when that day comes. "I know you will."

00

 _ **AN: Before you hate me for sending Deeks back undercover, keep in mind that we're getting close to Hand-to-Hand and he needs to be undercover for that chapter to work.**_

 _ **Also, I'm not cold hearted. In the episode, Hetty asks Sam about his opinion on Dom's replacement (and mentions she's asked everyone else). I just made use of that. I didn't come up with that on my own. (If you're interested, NCIS got billed for killing the fish in the mall, too...which I thought was funny and wanted to include). Also, for the Goonies house reference in the road trip flashback - apparently this is an attraction on the coast in Oregon. Thought that was something Deeks would be eager to see.**_

 _ **Okay, group opinion time...**_

 _ **We're getting very close to Hand-to-Hand, which is the first episode in which Deeks meets the team and becomes the liaison. Now that you've all read 13 chapters, I'm looking to see where opinions are on when the marriage gets disclosed to the team.**_

 _ **At this point, I'm willing to write into season 2 regardless of whether the team knows about the marriage or not. (And quite likely further if it's still fun for me to write and for you to read).**_

 _ **So, what I'm asking is - Should the team learn of the marriage at the end of Hand-to-Hand or shortly after?**_

 _ **Or - Should the team learn of the marriage at a future date? (If you pick future date, you don't have to have a time frame or 'episode' in mind. But if you do, feel free to share.)**_


	14. The Bank Job

_AN: Thank you to everyone who has taken an interest in this story! I was overwhelmed by the response to my request for feedback on the last chapter. The reviews/PMs/support has been amazing and has really kept me motivated to spend as much time writing as possible. That being said, when I started this story, I had ten chapters written (some more ready to post than others). Chapter ten was eventually expanded and split, making it eleven chapters. Since I started posting, I've written to chapter fifteen and am working on sixteen. Fifteen needs some polishing. Sixteen needs to be perfect, so it's going to take some time. Each chapter takes 10-20 hours of work. I won't be able to keep posting every other day like I was for a while - but it was important to me to get what I had written up as quickly as possible. Once I get past Hand-to-Hand, I'm hoping to move forward with posting twice a week._

00

Episode 1.15 - The Bank Job

Kensi's been on her own for two weeks. The first few days were difficult, but she's fast adjusting to being without her husband again. He may have been home for a couple months, but they had a couple years' practice prior to that of him being away on and off.

Work gradually gets back to some level of normal. Hetty has not brought in a replacement for Dom as the search continues in the background of their day to day cases. Agent Renko is a more familiar sight than normal, though. He is in at least once a week to help out on their cases.

Kensi gets home from work late one night to find an LAPD squad car at her apartment complex. She parks her car with her heart in her throat, fearing for the worst. But several apartment doors are open and their occupants are outside, so she swallows down her unfounded fear. They're not here about her husband.

It turns out two apartments in her building were robbed during the day. She hurriedly checks her apartment, but there's no sign of anyone having been inside.

She showers and eats cold leftover takeout as she worries about the following day. She and Deeks had, of course, done their best to secure their small apartment, but it wasn't impenetrable. In the end, she pulls a box from their spare room and spends an hour loading it with trinkets and mementos that cannot be replaced.

In the morning, she dresses for work in a tee shirt and jeans. She then pulls a sweater with a higher neck than normal over her tee shirt. She chooses a strong chain from her jewellery box and threads hers and Marty's wedding bands onto it, along with her engagement ring. She secures the chain around her neck and tucks the rings under her sweater for safe keeping. When she leaves the house, she takes the box of things with her.

She leaves the box on her desk at work, thinking it will be left alone while she hits the shooting range. When she returns, however, she finds Callen and Sam going through her things.

"Mine!" She calls, hurrying forward.

They both turn. Callen is holding her doll. Sam is holding her husband's plastic king cobra.

"Sorry," Callen says, though he makes no move to put down the doll.

"Mine," she says again as she shoves between them and pulls the snake out of Sam's hand.

"We thought maybe Hetty was having a garage sale," Callen teases from her right.

She glares at him and snatches the doll from him.

"What is all this stuff?" Sam asks.

Satisfied her things are back in the box, she sighs in relief. "Just prized possessions. Sacred belongings. Heirlooms and memories. Irreplaceable items that cannot be assigned a price."

Callen stares questioningly at her, clearly not understanding. She stares back.

"This is priceless?" Sam asks, dragging her attention to her left. He's got her jelly bracelets in his hands.

"Are you kidding? That's a full set of ultra jelly bracelets from Roppongi, Tokyo." She lets him look for a moment and then she tugs them from his grasp.

Callen reaches for them with a sarcastic, "wow."

"G has a thing for ultra jelly bracelets from Roppongi, Tokyo," Sam says, laughing.

Kensi glares at them both and snatches the bracelets back from Callen.

"Alright, look. There was a break-in in my apartment building yesterday, and I couldn't let the crooks take my stuff, so..."

Still not convinced of her reasoning, Callen reaches back into the box for the doll he was holding earlier. "What is the price on the black market these days for a poppycock baby doll?"

She takes the doll back from him. "It's not just any poppycock baby doll. This is Pete." She smiles as she thinks back to her early childhood, long before it had turned bad. She doesn't care that her co-workers probably think she's crazy.

"I keep my momentos in a GSA class 6 fireproof safe," Sam says, "Drilled to the floor of my den. Under false wooden panels."

Kensi feels her brow furrow as she stares at him.

He nods. "You gotta be protected."

Callen leans close to her. "For _Pete's_ sake," he jokes.

She glares at Callen before turning back to Sam. "Okay, GSA class 6 is military grade. What do you keep in there?"

"It's classified."

She rolls her eyes and turns her attention back to Callen. "What about you?"

He turns to sit at his desk as he responds. "Where do I keep my stuff?"

"Yeah."

He taps his head. "Here."

"No, I don't mean memories. I mean... I mean stuff. Like this."

"G doesn't have stuff," Sam explains.

"I find packrats and hoarders fascinating," Nate announces as he joins their conversation, sidling up to Kensi's right. He glances into her box of things. "Did you know they tend to be closet romantics?"

She snaps her gaze to his, wondering if his comment is a test, but his focus is on her things and not on her reaction. She exhales. Nothing to worry about... Wait. "I'm sorry, did you just call me a hoarder?"

"He said packrat first," Sam points out.

Kensi smacks him, causing him to laugh and back away.

In her distraction, Nate reaches into the box. "Cool train," he says, pulling the locomotive from the bottom of the box. "Where did you get it?"

She gently pulls her husband's train from his fingers. She's not about to tell her co-workers about her secret husband's not-so-secret love for trains. "It was a gift," she says. She neglects to mention that it was a gift _from_ her.

00

~April 2001~

 _Kensi walked into the antique store during her break between classes. As she had been the first time, she was surprised again at how clean and not dusty the store was. When she had found out a friend had grown up collecting old model cars, she had asked if he knew where to find old model trains. He had steered her to a few antique shops where she could leave her information with the owners who would call if they came across what she was looking for._

 _And in just two months, she had gotten a call._

 _"Miss Blye!" The owner called as soon as she stepped foot in the store. He was probably in his late fifties with a strong British accent and a friendly smile. "How nice to see you again."_

 _"You, too, Mr. Abbott. Thanks for calling."_

 _"My pleasure, my pleasure. Always glad to help." He ushered her over to the counter. "Had a man clearing out his basement and be brought me all kinds of things. Some good. Some not so good." He offered her a wry smile. "But in one box, I found this and knew I had to call you." He placed a model train down on the counter for her inspection. "It's not in great shape, unfortunately, but it appears quite salvageable."_

 _Kensi nodded as she reached for the train and held it up. It was scratched, but she didn't think her boyfriend would mind._

 _"A gift for the man in your life, if I remember correctly?" Mr. Abbott continued._

 _Kensi nodded again as she turned the train over in her hands. "He told me he asked for one every year growing up, but all he ever got was Thomas."_

 _Mr. Abbott scoffed. "A train should not have a face."_

 _Kensi laughed. "That's what my boyfriend said." She set the train down on the counter. "But I don't think he'll mind the scratches. He'll probably actually enjoy fixing it up."_

 _He nodded, smiling. "Wonderful."_

 _Five minutes later, Kensi left the store with a wrapped up Airfix HO-scale 262 Prairie Tank._

00

The case of the day starts simple enough. A convoy in the Middle East had been attacked and five million dollars in US currency stolen from the reconstruction funds headed for local contractors. The top secret route had been leaked to a terrorist group. After the ambush, a terrorist safe house was raided, which found a SIM card with an LA phone number belonging to a marine.

Callen and Sam head out to question the marine, only to find him dead. Kensi joins them at the dead marine's house, where they find two hundred and fifty thousand dollars hidden in an empty panel beside his dishwasher. The serial numbers on the money trace back to the money stolen in the ambush.

The dead marine's keys lead them to an airplane hangar, which holds more money from the ambush, along with blueprint and plans for a bank robbery. Three men show up to the hangar, and are swiftly taken care of by Callen and Sam. Unwilling to surrender, only one survives. Kensi winds up watching him at the hospital.

A review of security footage at the hangar shows the leader of the crew is Damien Salerno, a known bank robber and planner. He's well known to the LAPD.

Unable to convince their living bad guy to help, Kensi tags him with a GPS locator and listening device, and turns her back, knowing he'll make an escape from the hospital. They monitor him from a distance as he runs back to his boss. Salerno tells him he's still going through with the bank robbery. The terrorist group who hired him wants fifty million dollars released back to them that was seized by the government and can only be released by access to the system at the downtown branch of Certified National Bank. Unfortunately, before they can locate Salerno, he kills his underling and disappears.

Eric explains that while the funds can be released electronically, they need physical access to the terminal in the bank to make the transfer work. It's determined that there needs to be at least one inside man working in the bank. The heist crew are staging a bank robbery to cover up the transfer they are planning. They analyze the employees and establish the inside man is Curtis, a young teller with radical connections.

"Curtis is also single," Nate continues his explanation of Curtis's background to the team. "He's got active memberships on four different online dating websites."

Kensi nods along, absorbing the information as she did the rest of the information. Unfortunately, her team hears it differently than her. Silence falls, catching her attention. And then Callen clears his throat, just in case she hasn't yet picked up on their trains of thought.

She sighs. "Am I the only one who wonders why there is a suspect in every case who happens to be a bachelor?"

"Well, seeing as how criminals tend to be males with antisocial proclivities -" Nate starts, but Kensi cuts him off.

"And also wonders why that always seems to be the vector we go after first?"

"The lowest hanging fruit is the easiest to pick, Agent Blye," Hetty speaks up.

Sam laughs.

Kensi has never backed down from a challenge at work and she's not about to now, but she seriously questions the operational soundness. "Seriously, guys. Curtis is going to take time to get close to. Salerno and his new crew could hit this bank at any point in the next five days." They know Salerno has been given a timeframe to complete the robbery and have the money transferred back to the terrorist group. NCIS needs to find out who the inside man is before the robbery takes place.

"As despicable as the man is, Salerno isn't our primary target here." Hetty agrees. "We need to confirm who's working inside the bank and make sure they give up everyone else involved. And the clock is ticking."

Kensi runs a hand through her hair. She turns to Callen and Sam. "What would happen if we went at Curtis? Made it clear we knew about the robbery."

Sam shook his head. "We have nothing on him. He denies it and we have nothing."

Callen, however, considers her. "That's not what you meant."

She shakes her head. "We go to him. Pretend we're part of Salerno's new crew."

Callen thinks about it for a moment. "May not be enough." He glances at Sam and then smiles. "Why pretend you're going to rob a bank?"

Sam smiles, too. "Why not actually rob it."

"You don't mean..." She laughs. "No, I know you. You do mean what I think you mean."

"We plan our own heist. First thing tomorrow morning. We tell Curtis the time's been moved up. He'll implicate himself. And we'll know if anyone else is involved."

Sam nods. "We'll get Renko and his LAPD buddy to help."

An hour later, the plan is in place for the next morning. Kensi will go into the bank acting as a customer looking to rent a safety deposit box. Callen and Renko, along with a cop friend of Renko's, will barge into the bank acting as bank robbers. They will pretend to shoot Kensi. They will isolate Curtis, the inside man, and follow his lead. Sam will be waiting at the back entrance to the bank to pretend to kill Callen, Renko and the cop. They will let Curtis run and monitor him to see who he runs to.

"Should be fun, huh?" Renko says. He had shown up about half an hour earlier, eager to be part of this assignment.

Kensi rolls her eyes and smirks. "How come you get to be a bank robber?"

He sits back in the chair he's pulled up to Kensi and Callen's desks. "I make a better bad guy than you."

She mirrors his posture and crosses her arms. "I could be a bad guy."

Renko shrugs. "Maybe, but we need you to flirt with Curtis. I would switch with you, but I'm just not his type..."

She laughs. "Now _that_ I would pay to see."

"Hey, I have skills."

She snorts with laughter.

"I'm sure you do, Mr. Renko," Hetty's voice sounds, catching them both by surprise.

Kensi cuts off her laughter and sits upright.

Renko practically chokes and almost falls forward off his chair in his surprise and rush to sit properly on his chair.

"But please refrain from a demonstration of said skills," Hetty continues. "It's not appropriate behaviour in the workplace."

Kensi feels her chest heave with laughter, but she manages to keep it in.

Hetty turns to Kensi. "Ms. Blye, let's figure out your wardrobe for tomorrow morning, shall we?"

Kensi nods and stands. She pulls off her sweater as she follows Hetty towards the wardrobe area, leaving her in a light tee shirt.

Renko follows them. "I'm sorry about what you heard, Hetty," he says. "I think you... I mean to say that my comment might have been taken out of context."

"Is that so, Mr. Renko?"

Renko makes a face, but doesn't bother responding.

Hetty pulls a blouse and skirt from the wardrobe rack and passes them to Kensi. "Try these on, dear."

Kensi trades her sweater for the new clothes, shoots Renko a sympathetic glance as she leaves him alone with Hetty, and turns to head into one of the small change rooms. She hangs the clothes up momentarily and pulls off her tee shirt and jeans, leaving herself in just her bra and underwear. She turns back for the new clothes, but catches sight of herself in the mirror and her breath catches in her throat.

She's wearing her wedding rings on a chain around her neck.

She's _still_ wearing the chain.

She had put it on that morning for safe keeping. It had been well hidden under her light sweater all day. But... She winces and turns towards the entrance to the change room, as if that will help her remember. She had taken off her sweater before entering the change room. In front of Hetty _and Renko_. She hadn't noticed whether the chain with the rings had been hanging on the inside of the tee shirt or the outside. The tee shirt was lower cut, but not inappropriate. Regardless, the chain would have been visible, making way into a V down her chest. If the rings had been under the material, tucked between her breasts, they would have been out of sight.

But if they weren't under the tee shirt, they would have been out in the open, calling out to be noticed.

She turns back to the mirror and stares at herself. Glares is more like it. She's better than this. She doesn't make these kinds of mistakes.

"How's it coming, dear?" Hetty asks.

She clears her throat. "Fine. Be out in a minute."

She pulls off the chain and tucks it safely into the pocket of her jeans. Then she quickly pulls on the outfit Hetty has picked out for her.

"Very nice," Hetty says as she steps out. She beckons Kensi forward and has her turn around. "But maybe a touch to sophisticated for what we're going for? We don't want to scare off our inside man."

Kensi nods her agreement as Hetty turns for another outfit.

When Hetty turns back, she sends a look to Renko. "Mr. Renko, who taught you your manners?"

"Uh...what?" Renko asks, uncertain. He's been standing to the side, watching quietly, arms crossed over his chest.

"When a woman is trying on clothes, you should offer a nice comment."

Kensi bites back a laugh at both Hetty's comment and Renko's subsequent reaction.

He nods. "Of course. I was just...uh..." He scratches at the side of his head. "You look...very nice," he says to Kensi.

Kensi nods her thanks and takes the next outfit from Hetty. But the moment she enters the change room, she frowns. She's been friends with Renko for two years. He's told her hilarious stories about his dating sagas. He's made fun of her dating stories alongside Callen and Sam. They've always joked together. He's been around a few times before while Hetty sent her into the change rooms four or five or six times to try on outfits. It wasn't unusual for him to whistle at her in jest. Or say she looked good. They had a fun, easy friendship.

So his sudden hesitance to say anything to her was strange. She could only hope her rings had been out of sight and had not prompted Renko's sudden censoring of himself around her.

When she steps out with the second outfit, Renko is still there. Hetty flutters around her, much happier with this choice. Apparently the jeans and white tee shirt look is much more approachable to a single wannabe terrorist with relationship issues.

When she catches Renko's eye, he offers her a small smile. "You look nice," he says.

"Much better, Mr. Renko," Hetty says before Kensi can say anything.

They both laugh and suddenly any tension Kensi feels is gone. Maybe she's just imagining everything.

"I think this will do, Ms. Blye," Hetty says. She smiles. "And it has the added bonus of being inexpensive to replace when you destroy it with fake blood tomorrow morning."

Kensi smiles back. "Technically, I'm not going to be the one destroying it. I'm going to be the one getting shot."

"Regardless, try and keep the blood off the jeans, hmm?"

Kensi nods, and then shakes her head in humour when Hetty sends her to change back into her own clothes.

00

At the end of the day, Kensi is at her desk reviewing the plan for the following day. As she will be pretending to be shot, she needs to make it real or she will risk blowing the entire operation. She has her box of things beside her on Callen's chair, and has several files spread out across both desks. She's even put on her jelly bracelets for luck.

"How late are you planning on staying?" Hetty asks, jolting Kensi from her concentration.

She turns and offers her boss a soft smile. "Not too much longer, Hetty. I just want to make sure I know everything I can. There's a lot riding on tomorrow."

"That there is," Hetty agrees. She taps the box. "And how long are you planning on keeping your things here?"

Kensi laughs and shakes her head. "I'm taking them with me when I leave."

"If you're worried about them at home, we can make room in storage here," she offers. "It's a secure building. Your thing would be safe."

"That's a really nice offer, thank you. But I'm taking them over to my mom's tonight. She lives in a really safe neighborhood, has a good security system. They'll be safe there." She pauses. "They're not just my things. Some are Marty's. And I want them to be somewhere we can both get at them, you know?"

Hetty nods. "I understand." She considers Kensi for a long moment.

"What?"

Hetty shakes her head. "Nothing, dear." She offers Kensi a smile. "Any word on when he'll be home?"

Kensi shakes her head. "No. Could be months."

"You got used to him being home," Hetty perceives.

She sighs. "I did. He was home for a really long time." She hesitates before adding, "I miss him." It was almost harder this time, knowing they were close to the end of this lifestyle.

"It's a tough life you've chosen for yourselves."

Kensi nods. "We don't regret anything. It's just...harder this time. After he was home for so long. And with Dom still missing."

"Well, you're still doing an excellent job here, Ms. Blye," Hetty offers. "You haven't let your work suffer."

"No," she agrees. "We agreed never to let our personal life affect us at work." It hasn't been an easy life to learn to compartmentalize, but she's managed it. They've both managed it. Most days, she can be an independent federal agent, completely focused on the case at hand. And most days, he's an awesome and effective cop who gets the job done.

"You're a very mature couple," Hetty says, surprising her. "I've always respected that about you."

She raises an eyebrow. Hetty has never even met her husband. "Always?"

Hetty doesn't respond. She simply nods to Kens and walks away.

Kensi turns back to her documents. She's slightly thrown off by her boss's behaviour, but that's not unusual. She's used to Hetty's quirks. She spends another half hour reviewing the plan for the following day's fake bank robbery and then calls it a night.

00

 _Kensi returned home with a bag of takeout and her course book after a long day of training. She had signed up for a weekend long course on use, care and maintenance of a variety of firearms, and after the first day, she was eager to spend the rest of her evening studying so she could make the most of her day on Sunday._

 _Balancing her books, food and takeout cup of soda, she managed to get her keys out of her pocket and into the lock, but the lock tended to stick. She growled as she struggled to get the right amount of torque to turn the lock without dropping anything or spilling her drink._

 _She wasn't having much success when the door suddenly swung open on its own._

 _Kensi jumped slightly, caught off guard. But the sight that awaited her on the other side of the door got her heart pumping for an entirely different reason._

 _"You're home."_

 _He smirked at her. "Technically, you're the one who just got home."_

 _She rolled her eyes and then stepped forward into his arms, doing her best to hug him back, despite the items in her hands._

 _He hugged her tight and pressed a kiss to her temple. "God, I missed you, Kens."_

 _"I missed you so much," she murmured back._

 _When they pulled away, she let him pull the books from her hands as she turned to shut the door._

 _"Firearm maintenance?" He said, reading the cover of one of the workbooks. "Wow, you must have been really bored while I was gone."_

 _She laughed as she put the bag of takeout and drink down so she could hug him properly. "I was at a training course." She snatched the books from his hands and tossed them onto the couch before hugging him tightly. "Are you okay? Did everything go okay?"_

 _He hugged her back again, just as tight as before. "It went better than expected. Or, at least that's what Lieutenant Atwood said. Actually he said it a few times. I don't think they have high hopes when it's your first time undercover, you know?"_

 _She didn't like the sound of that, but she nodded against him. It made sense._

 _"But I got in. I didn't get made. And I got enough information to take down a drug ring."_

 _"That's really good, Marty." She pulled back to meet his eyes. "Really good. I'm proud of you."_

 _He smiled at that, just like he did every time she told him she was proud of him._

 _She ran her hands over his shoulders and down his chest. "And you're okay?" Her hands moved outwards and brushed up his sides before moving to his back. "You're not hurt?"_

 _He let her continue her assessment, as if he understood she needed the tactile confirmation that he really was okay. "I'm not hurt," he confirmed. "I'm okay."_

 _Her hands moved down his back, brushed across his bottom to his hips. At that point, he stopped her gentle assessment by capturing her hands in his. "I'm okay," he repeated. "But if you really want confirmation, there's an easier way."_

 _She raised an eyebrow as she bit back a smirk. "And what would that be?"_

 _He leaned in to kiss her. "Well, I can't help but notice that your little assessment is hindered by clothing."_

 _"Hindered by clothing?"_

 _He nodded. "Badly hindered. Who knows what could be hiding under my clothes."_

 _She nodded along. "You're right. You should take them off."_

 _"And it would probably help if you took your clothes off, too."_

 _She crossed her arms and didn't even bother to bite back her smile. "How would_ me _being naked help tell if_ you _are injured?"_

 _He pursed his lips for a moment, clearly trying to think of an answer. "Because...it's hard for you to feel me for injuries through your clothes," he finally said. "The more skin to skin contact, the more thorough the assessment."_

 _She laughed out loud. "You're an idiot."_

 _He scrunched his nose. "You want me to come up with another reason?"_

 _"No, I want you to shut up and take your pants off."_

 _00_

 _Later, they stumbled out of the bedroom together. Deeks had pulled on boxers and a tee shirt, Kensi pajama pants and one of his tee shirts._

 _"It was nice of you to bring me dinner," he said, picking up the bag of abandoned takeout._

 _"That's mine," she said, with no bite behind the comment._

 _He reached into the bag and pulled out a fry. He tossed it into his mouth and made a face as he chewed. "Cold."_

 _She smiled and helped herself to a fry of her own. "Almost inedible."_

 _"Sorry I ruined your dinner."_

 _She tucked herself against him. "I'm not. You can come home and surprise me like that anytime. I only wish I didn't have to finish my stupid course tomorrow."_

 _He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "It's okay. We'll have plenty of days to spend together."_

 _"I'm really glad you're home. Have I mentioned that?"_

 _He laughed. "Once or twice."_

 _"Six weeks is a long time..." It was probably the longest they'd gone without each other since they met._

 _He hooked his arm around her and tugged her to the couch. Once they were settled together, he hugged her tight and sighed. "You think we can make this work?"_

 _She spent the last six weeks thinking about that question. "Yes."_

 _"Yes?"_

 _"Yes," she confirmed. "It's not going to be easy, but..."_

 _"Nothing worth having is ever easy?"_

 _She laughed. "Cheesy."_

 _He laughed, too. "Maybe."_

 _"But you're right. It will be challenging. But worth it. We may need some new rules." They had long agreed to do their best to be open about the dangers of their jobs, but not dwell on them._

 _"I won't be able to tell you much," he said. "Not until I'm home."_

 _"That's okay." She pressed closer to him. "If I get into OSP, it will be the same. Most of my work will be classified."_

 _"We'll need to be understanding that the other can't share."_

 _She nodded. "And we'll need to make the most of the time we have when you're home."_

 _He pressed his lips to the side of her head. "That definitely needs to be a rule."_

 _"And you'll be as safe as you can, right?" She knew her husband was good at what he did. But she hated the knowledge that he would be going in alone. For weeks or months at a time._

 _"Of course. I always want to come home to you." He sighed and met her eyes. "Kens, I don't have to do this."_

 _She stared into his eyes for a long moment. He looked so alive. So enthusiastic. She refused to keep him from this. "I think you do," she told him. "You're good at it. You can_ do _some good, Marty. You enjoyed it, didn't you?"_

 _He hesitated for a moment. "I enjoyed the challenge. And the...sense of accomplishment after."_

 _She nodded. "You can naturally do something not many people can do." She leaned in to kiss him. "I think you need to keep doing it as long as you feel that enthusiasm for it." She pressed her hand against his chest. "And I will support you in that."_

 _"I love you," he told her._

 _She smiled. "I love you, too."_


	15. Chinatown & Full Throttle

_**AN: This chapter was harder to write than I expected. I didn't want to draw out the chapters prior to Deeks meeting the team, so I combined a couple episodes into one chapter (and won't be writing anything about 'Blood Brothers'). Also, I've stretched out the time a bit on Dom's disappearance. In the show, he was gone, 'more than two months.' Here, the total time will be a little longer, because that allowed Deeks to be home still when he disappeared. (Otherwise, he would have to have been undercover by then for Hand-to-Hand to work out).**_

 _ **Also - the site was doing some strange things when I posted the last chapter (14) and I never actually got the e-mail notification... So, just a heads up to everyone to make sure you've read chapter 14...lol.**_

* * *

Episodes 1.16 - Chinatown and 1.17 - Full Throttle

Though she's a few minutes early for work, Kensi is surprised to be sitting in the bullpen alone. Her eyes catch on Sam's desk. He's usually in at least fifteen minute early. Her eyes flutter to the left to Dom's desk and she sighs at the sight of the alien bobble head still sitting there untouched. She shakes her head and moves her gaze to Callen's desk to her left. He's either in a minute before he has to be or hours early, that is if he didn't spend the night on the office couch.

When Eric whistles from the top of the stairs promptly at the start of the work day, she frowns at her lack of team members and heads up alone.

Eric lifts his hands, as if to ask where Callen and Sam are.

Kensi shrugs. She pulls out her phone, worried she may have missed a text. Or agent in distress code. After Dom's disappearance, she's become more anxious than she should be about the safety of her team members.

She follows Eric into OPs. Hetty and Nate are already there.

"Callen and Sam?" Nate asks.

Kensi shakes her head. "I'm sure they're doing something important..."

"Mr. Hanna just sent me a text. They'll be here shortly," Hetty says.

Kensi nods and turns to Eric. "Any news?" She asks, just like she does every morning.

Eric shakes his head. Just like he does every morning. "Nothing."

Eric begins to introduce the case. Calvin Lee, a submarine nuclear physicist who just made lieutenant commander and was days away from shipping out on a six month deployment as the XO hanged himself that morning. His submarine was test driving new technology, so the team is being tasked with investigating the suicide to confirm if the deployment or technology has been compromised.

Callen and Sam arrive ten minutes late. Callen had been in charge of the car pool and had been running late. Sam's not in a good mood and makes sure Callen knows he's not in a good mood. Kensi chocks off his mood to arriving at work late and nothing more.

Callen and Sam head to the crime scene while Kensi is sent to check out Calvin Lee's house. She takes Nate with her.

The psychologist, who doesn't get out of the office much, is enthusiastic about their field trip. He taps his knees while he sits in the passenger seat as she drives them to the house.

"Would you stop that?"

He fists his hands and rests them on his thighs. "Sorry. I'm just..."

"Excited?"

He shrugs. "I don't get out much."

She smirks at that.

"I meant out of the office. I don't get out of the office much."

"Sure, sure."

"So, what's our game plan for when we get there?"

"Our game plan?"

He nods. "Shouldn't we have a plan?"

"We go in. We look around."

He keeps nodding. "Investigation. I like it."

She smiles. "You watch a lot of cop shows, don't you?"

He glances sideways at her. "Maybe."

"Is that what Nate Getz does at home? Watches cop shows?"

"Sometimes," he relents, before turning the question back on her. "What does Kensi Blye do at home?"

She tightens her jaw as she stares down the road ahead of them. It's been a while since Nate has pushed her boundaries with his questions. "I eat, sleep, then come back to work."

"Yeah, but what do you do for fun?" He probes.

Her grip tightens on the steering wheel, but she notices him notice it, so she forces herself to stop. "Is that pertinent for you to know as operational psychologist?"

"I want to know as your friend."

It had been nice to share her secret with someone - surprisingly nice - even if that experience was far too short lived. She glances at Nate and then back to the road. But she's still hesitant to share her closely guarded secret now. "What do you think I do?"

He stares at her in that inquisitive way of his and she can tell he doesn't really know anything. But maybe he can sense something is off about her stories. "I don't want to profile you, Kensi."

"Don't want to or can't?"

He shrugs. "Maybe a little of both."

"I'm under the microscope at work," she says as she steers the car into a parking spot near Calvin Lee's home. "What I do on my own time is mine, okay?"

He nods. "Okay." He unbuckles his seatbelt. "But Kensi, if you ever want to talk, I'm here to listen."

She glances sideways at him. "Thanks, Nate."

They get out of the car and she easily picks the lock to get them into the house. Calvin Lee lived alone, so they're not worried about running into anyone. The house is sparsely decorated and very organized.

Nate finds a photo of a Chinese woman on a living room table.

"This looks like a girlfriend," he comments, holding up the photo for Kensi to take a picture with her phone.

"Relationship gone sour?" She ponders.

"It's been known to happen," he says. Then his tone changes. "Of course, you'd have to be in a relationship first..."

She glances at him, suddenly wondering if he was reaching back to their earlier conversation and was maybe more suspicious than she had thought. But he's studiously avoiding her eyes. "Was that aimed at me?"

"No, I'm just busting your..." He trails off and glances down and then quickly back up before clearing his throat. "Chops."

She bites back a smile as she realizes he's just trying to joke with her.

"Just busting your chops," he repeats. "You know, how...like partners do?"

"You're not my partner."

He nods. "Right."

Before she can say anything further, there is noise at the front door. Nate turns and stares down the front hall, but Kensi grabs him and drags him out of sight in the bedroom off the living room. She pushes him deep into the room, assuming he'll stay out of sight and draws her weapon as she places herself in the doorway.

A man walks into the house, clearly knowing exactly where he's going. He walks through the living room and opens a hutch to retrieve something. Kensi turns to let Nate know what's going on and is surprised to find him only inches from her.

"I'm going to take him," she whispers.

He nods enthusiastically and moves forward ever so slightly.

She shakes her head and presses a hand to his chest, forcing him back. "You stay back and call it in if it goes bad."

Silently, she steps out of the bedroom and into the living room and waits until she's closer to the man to announce herself. "NCIS. Put your hands up."

The man freezes and puts his hands up. "You got this all wrong," he says as he turns towards her. Then he runs for the door. She runs after him, Nate on her heels.

He doesn't get very far. She chases him less than halfway down the road and tackles him into a fruit stand.

"Nice tackle, Urlacher," Nate exclaims, standing behind her as she struggles to still the suspect long enough to put him in cuffs.

"A little help, Nate?"

"Right!" He jumps in by crouching down and grabbing the suspects ankles.

"Yeah, we don't usually cuff the suspects feet," she points out as she's still trying the gets his wrists into cuffs.

"Right," he says again. He shuffles forward. Unfortunately, he leans down to help at the same time the suspect gets a hand free and flails, striking Nate in the face.

Kensi winces. "Ooh, you okay?"

Nate's holding his nose with one hand and still trying to help with the other. "Yeah," he mumbles, nodding.

Once under control, Kensi manages to cuff the suspect and finds drugs in his pocket that he had taken from Calvin Lee's house.

They take him to the boatshed to meet up with Callen and Sam. Sam's mood seems to be deteriorating.

Turns out, their suspect was a fellow marine of Calvin Lee. He was jealous of Lee's success and had tried to sabotage his success by planting drugs on him, but he didn't kill him.

Eric finds video footage of Calvin Lee's suicide. The video is from above the bridge and shows Lee tie the noose he's wearing to the railing of the bridge, throw something small off the bridge and then jump.

None of the team is particularly happy for the confirmation that Calvin Lee truly killed himself, but Sam is by far the most unhappy. He calls the man's action selfish and hints that they don't have time for this case.

Callen takes him to search for whatever it was that Lee threw off the side of the bridge prior to jumping.

Kensi takes Nate to talk with Calvin Lee's parents. Other than talking Nate out of taking a gun with him, the interview with Lee's parents goes as expected for grieving parents who have just lost their son. They learn the girl in the photograph found earlier was Lee's fiancée, who has gone back to China. They also learn Lee had a sister who died years ago.

However, when Eric looks into it, he discovers the parents had lied about at least one thing. Their daughter had not died. She was alive and well and living in the area. She is shocked to hear news of her brother's death. She also shocks them by telling them the girl in the picture was definitely not her brother's fiancée because her brother was gay and had a boyfriend.

Callen and Sam go to question Calvin Lee's boyfriend only to find him dead in his apartment.

After Callen and Sam call in the body, Kensi finds herself up in OPs with Nate and Eric trying to figure out what the hell is going on.

"So, the parents lied about the fiancée and the sister," she states.

Nate nods.

"The daughter they kind of disowned, so maybe they consider her dead to them?" She postulates with a frown.

Nate shrugs. "If she's been absent from their lives long enough. Maybe there was a significant event that took them apart."

"Okay. And if they were trying to arrange a marriage for him, they may well have considered the girl in the picture to be his fiancée."

Nate nods. "Chinese parents can be very involved with their children's marriages. If they didn't know he was gay, they may have seen her as his match."

"Okay, so we've explained what they told us. And...maybe the pressure of hiding his lifestyle from his traditional parents and the Navy got to him?" She makes a face even as she says it.

"So he kills his boyfriend and himself?" Eric questions.

"If it were about escaping the pressure, he would only have killed himself," Nate says. "There would have been no reason to kill the boyfriend. Though they may have argued. Things got heated and he killed him without meaning to."

"He slit his throat," Kensi points out. "You don't slit someone's throat by accident."

"Still, it would explain the suicide. He killed his boyfriend. Plus the pressure by his family and the Navy. So, he killed himself."

"Why did he throw away his keys?"

Nate frowns. "I'd forgotten about that."

Kensi sighs. "There has to be something that will make this all make sense."

Turns out, that something was the keychain, which contained highly sophisticated data stealing technology. Highly sophisticated _Chinese_ data stealing technology.

Calvin Lee had been born and raised to be a Chinese spy. His parents had emigrated to the US to raise their son to join the Navy but remain loyal to China. He went to school and raised through the ranks of the Navy quickly, but when it came down to it, he was loyal to America. His handler, the girl his parents had told them was his fiancée, had killed his boyfriend. He had killed himself as an act of defiance and thrown away his keys in the hopes they'd fall into the right hands.

"A true patriot," Sam commended as they wrapped up the case at the end of the day.

Kensi glances at him. "You're in a better mood," she comments.

He stares at her for a long moment. "I didn't think the case was worth our time when we thought it was just a suicide," he says.

She nods. "But if it wasn't for our time, it would have been written off as just a suicide and there wouldn't be half a dozen Chinese spies in custody. Nor would we know about the data stealing technology."

"But we gave it our time."

She nods. "Every case is worth our time," she says boldly. She's had a long day and she knows she's going home to an empty apartment. And the empty seat across the bullpen still eats at her every day.

"I don't know that I believe that," Sam says calmly. Almost patronisingly. "We should be triaging cases better. We need to spend more time looking for Dom."

"He wouldn't want us sacrificing cases for him if there are no leads. He knows if there's-"

"How do you know what he wants?" Sam cuts her off.

Kensi stares at him for a long moment before shaking her head and turning for her desk. She quickly packs up her bag and prepares to leave for the day. They're all on edge and she knows he's in a particularly sour mood today. She's not about to rise to his bait, because she knows if she snaps back at him it will only devolve from there.

"I'm sorry," Sam says quickly.

Kensi pulls her bag over her shoulder and turns back to Sam, blinking against the sting of tears. Normally she would hate herself for even the hint of weakness poking through her work veneer with the tears fighting their way to existence. But today she was giving herself a pass. Because she misses her husband. And she misses her partner. And her team is in turmoil. "He's _my_ partner, Sam. _Mine._ That's how I know what he'd want."

"Kensi," Callen speaks up for the first time. And she can only hear pity in his tone.

She shakes her head at him and finds she actually winning the war against the threatening tears. "No." She turns her attention back to Sam. "He's my partner," she repeats, her voice more even. "Where the hell do you get off questioning that?" She demands.

He stares at her for a moment before deflating. "I'm sorry. It's just been five weeks."

"To the day. I know. I'm counting, too."

"It felt like no one else was." Sam says.

"He's my partner," she says again. "I ask about leads every day. And I'm devastated when there are no leads. _Every day_."

"You never said anything."

"Neither did you," she counters. "But I'll say something now. If he's still alive," her voice cracks slightly, but she pushes through it, "he knows we're looking. And he knows as soon as there's even a hint of a lead we'll be on it. But in the mean time, we need to move forward and help where we can. _That's_ what Dom would want. So, stop sulking. And we need to stop fighting. Because that's the last thing Dom would want."

00

 _Kensi kept her eyes on her target's back as she tailed him along the paved path. He had pulled about fifty yards ahead of her. But his longer stride was no match for her endurance and she knew he would eventually tire. She just had to wait him out._

 _His speed gradually slowed and she began to close the distance between them. Forty yards._

 _Thirty._

 _Twenty._

 _He glanced back over his shoulder and was clearly surprised to see her so close. He yelped out something akin to a war cry and added a burst of speed, but his stride was not as fluid as it once was, and she was right there with him with her own burst of speed._

 _In a minute she was on his heels._

 _Seconds later, she pulled up beside him._

 _And then she pulled ahead._

 _Ten yards._

 _Twenty._

 _Thirty._

 _She beat him to the pier by almost forty yards._

 _She pulled up with her hands on her hips, walking in circles as her lungs heaved from the exertion. When she looked for her husband, she smiled at the sight of him collapsed on the sand. One arm was sprawled outward. The other was resting over his heaving chest._

 _"That was pathetic," she taunted as she stood over him._

 _He waved a hand in her general direction. "Not fair. I have a desk job. I don't get out enough."_

 _She laughed and lay down beside him on the sand. "You still got beat by a girl. Again."_

 _"You're not a girl. You're like... Wonder Woman."_

 _She laughed again. "Doesn't Wonder Woman fly?"_

 _He thought for a moment, still panting hard. "I think she has a plane?"_

 _"You still got beat by a girl."_

 _"Whatever. I demand a rematch. Race you back to the car."_

 _She snorts a laugh. "Can you even stand up right now?"_

 _"Just give me a minute." He paused. "Maybe ten."_

 _She nudged him. "How about we lay here for a few minutes. And then when you're ready we walk back to the car."_

 _"How about you walk back to the car and just leave me here to die."_

 _She laughed again. "Nope. You owe me ice cream. Loser buys dessert. That was the bet and you lost."_

 _He sighed dramatically. "Fine. But I don't actually know if I can stand up right now."_

 _"I told you the pier was too far."_

 _"It wasn't too far."_

 _She rolled her eyes. "I thought you couldn't stand up?"_

 _"I...shut up."_

 _Kensi laughed. "Okay. You let me know when you're ready to try standing up."_

 _"Okay." He sighed. "I like helping you train and all...but I hope I live to see you become a fed."_

 _She laughed again. "You're really milking it today, huh?"_

 _"I might not get another chance." He made a show of pressing his hand to his chest. "Whatever happens, I'm proud of you and I love you."_

 _She rolled her eyes. "Drama queen."_

 _He laughed. "Maybe." He rolled to his side and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Hey, Kens?"_

 _"Hmm?"_

 _"Race you to the car!" He exclaimed as he jumped up and took off back the way they had come._

 _She sat up and stared at his retreating form for a moment as her brain processed what had just happened._

 _Ten yards._

 _Twenty._

 _Thirty._

 _And then she leapt to her feet and took off after him._

00

For the next month, Kensi asks every morning about news of her partner. There never is any. The team continues to work on cases and help when and where they can. Kensi and Sam move forward as if their earlier conversation had not taken place, but Sam is careful never to complain about no one caring about Dom ever again.

Kensi has dinner at her mother's once or twice a week and if she's not working, takes Monty home for the weekends. Julia's happy to store her and Deeks's things for Kensi's peace of mind. She's almost ready to decide that the one day when the two apartments had been robbed had been a fluke when she gets home from work one day to find another LAPD squad car in their building's parking lot. Another two apartment's had been robbed.

After that, she takes a second box of things to her mother's house and installs another set of security locks.

She's anxious each day at work that her home is being burglarized. Eric offers to install security cameras for her, but she declines, telling him she doesn't want to go overboard. In actual fact, she can't invite him into her home because it will be obvious she doesn't live alone.

She's decidedly unhappy spending her evening alone. No husband. No dog. Limited access to her things. And at work, the absence of her partner grates on her. She does her best to stay focused at work, but the stress gradually seeps into her pores. Callen and Sam leave her alone, probably attributing her low morale to Dom's continued absence.

Nate starts sending her worried looks more and more often. Whether he suspects something more than just Dom's absence is affecting her, she doesn't know. With everything that has been going on, she hasn't exactly kept up with her dating stories.

To get Nate off her back - in case he's onto something - she spends one evening coming up with a new catastrophic dating story. She comes into work the next morning with her story prepared, but just...doesn't have the energy to go through with it. When Callen and Sam ask about her evening, she tells them she didn't do anything exciting.

She knows something needs to give. And soon. The last time she was happy was when her team was whole and her secret wasn't really a secret and her husband was home. And now her team is fractured and her secret is a secret and her husband is on assignment. She's alone at home. No husband. No dog. Isolated from the things that are important to her and Deeks. And she feels isolated at work. And she can't remember why anything is a secret anymore.

Cases are good distractions. But in the down time, she's reminded of how bad things are and that there's no timeline for anything getting any better.

A new case comes up involving street racing. A marine is killed during an illegal street race when his car explodes during acceleration. Kensi is content to get her hands dirty and spend an hour under what's left of the car. It reminds her of lazy childhood Saturdays spent working with her father on his car.

Nate's been hovering most of the day, so she lets him feel useful by having him fetch tools. He manages okay when she asks for a wrench. But when she asks for a half inch socket and he brings her two different screw drivers, she has to wheel out from under the car in order to raise an eyebrow at him.

"Really?"

He shrugs. "My dad and I never really worked on cars. He was more of a Lego guy."

"Well, _this_ is a Phillips screwdriver," she says, tapping the screwdriver in his right hand. "And _this_ is a flathead screwdriver," she says, tapping the one in his left hand. "The sockets are the...round things."

He nods and walks back to the tool box before returning with several sockets. She selects the half inch socket from the options. "Thanks."

He crouches beside her and cranes his neck to watch as she reaches back up under the car.

"I think there's something here..." She mumbles as she struggles to loosen a particularly tight bolt.

"Shouldn't there be a lot of things...there?" He asks.

She laughs. "Something that doesn't belong," she clarifies. "Aha!" She exclaims when the bolt finally loosens. She manages to get it out, but the unknown object she can feel is still there under the car, so she feels for another, which she easily locates.

"It's pretty cool that you know cars," Nate says conversationally, sitting back on his heels.

"I guess," she says as she finally pulls free the object. It's a smaller box that looks like it could be a battery. Despite the explosion and state of the rest of the car, it's in surprisingly good shape. It's also stamped 'Property of US Navy.'

"Oh, my God."

"What is it?"

"I'm not sure. But I'm betting it's not supposed to be in this car." She passes it to Nate.

Nate takes it carefully and examines it as Kensi wheels herself out from under the car and stands. "Interesting."

She bites back a laugh. "You have no idea what that is, do you?"

He shakes his head and offers her a wry smile. "I'm assuming because it says alternate battery source on it, that it's some kind of battery, but that's all I got."

She laughs and takes it back from him. "You really have to get out of the office more, Nate. You may learn some things."

"Today I learned the difference between a socket and a screwdriver," he points out.

She pats him on the shoulder. "Not something to be proud of there, Nate."

He smiles and shrugs anyway. "You were one of those girls with their own set of tools growing up, weren't you?"

She stares at him. "Maybe."

"Made the boys feels inferior because you knew more than them about cars?"

Her stare turns into a glare. "It's not my fault they didn't know anything."

"And you never pretended? To let them feel good about themselves?" He jokes.

"No one should have to hide who they are, Nate."

He considers her for a moment. "Are you hiding who you are?"

She stares at him for a long moment before offering him a sad smile and a shrug. "Aren't we all?"

00

 _They were on the way back from a day spent hiking when the car broke down._

 _Everyone was tired and hot and a little smelly. The windows were down because the air conditioning didn't work. Kensi and Deeks were in the backseat. Tristan was driving, as it was his car. His girlfriend, and Kensi's friend Tiffany, was in the passenger seat._

 _They were just exactly in the middle of nowhere when the car jolted and then heaved and then the power cut out._

 _Tristan swore as he guided the dying vehicle onto the shoulder._

 _"Are we out of gas?" Tiffany asked._

 _"We can't be. I filled up last night. Shit!" Tristan slammed his hands onto the steering wheel._

 _"Maybe it just overheated?" Deeks suggested._

 _Tristan tapped at the plastic of the dashboard over the gage that was supposed to warn of engine temperature. "I don't know, man. I think it's moving. And it's not in the red."_

 _They all got out of the car and Tristan popped the hood. Kensi and Tiffany stood back as the guys stood beside each other in front of the car._

 _Tristan tapped his chin as Deeks ran a hand through his hair._

 _"Hmm," Tristan hums._

 _"Yeah, I gotta be honest, man," Deeks said. "I don't really know much about cars."_

 _Tristan floated his hand across the engine. "It doesn't seem to be that hot, right?"_

 _Deeks shrugged. "Sure." He glanced at Kensi. "Any ideas?"_

 _Kensi stepped forward and took her turn looking under the hood. The car was old and her look showed many replaced and subpar parts, but that wouldn't cause a roadside breakdown. She bent for a closer look and smiled as she spotted the culprit down beside the engine._

 _"A hose just came loose," she said. She reached down and tested the temperature before grasping the hose and reattaching it as tight as she could. "It won't hold forever without proper tools, but it'll get us home."_

 _Tristan looked surprised at her knowledge, but nodded and closed the trunk._

 _Deeks smiled proudly at her and kissed her on the cheek. "My hero!"_

00

Another month passes slowly. Cases come and go. The team trudges forward into the fourth month of their fourth member's absence. Hetty still hasn't brought in a replacement for Dom and hasn't brought up the subject again. Kensi sometimes wonders why the older woman bothered asking for their input, but doesn't have the guts to ask.

Kensi, Callen and Sam have pretty much reverted back to a three person team. They work seamlessly together. And other than asking about leads each morning, Dom is barely mentioned. Any animosity between Kensi and Sam is long forgotten.

Kensi isn't feeling much better, but she's learning to live with her life the way it is for the indefinite future. She can't control when her husband comes home, but she'll be ready when he gets home. She can't control the fact that robbers have apparently targeted their apartment complex, but temporarily not having her things while they're safe at her mother's means she'll have them later. Not to mention if the robbers ever try anything while she's home, she's ready to give them the surprise of their lives. She can't control what's happening with her partner, but she knows her team is ready to do everything in their power to get him back the moment there is even the hint of a lead.

She's not feeling optimistic, exactly. But she's starting to believe in hope.

When Kensi gets to work one morning, Callen and Sam are playing a modified game of HORSE using paper balls a tiny homemade basketball net. Not an unfamiliar sight. They greet her, but don't invite her to play with them. She smiles, knowing she's beat them too many times to be welcome.

She leaves them to their game and heads up to OPs to see Eric.

"Morning," she says as she walks through the automatic doors.

"Morning," Eric responds. He sends her a slightly defeated look, but nods for her to ask anyway.

"Leads?"

He shakes his head. "None."

She nods. That's always the answer, but she can't bring herself to stop asking. "You do anything exciting last night?"

He lights up a bit. "A made it to level twenty seven."

She smiles at his enthusiasm. "On that game you've been playing?"

He nods. "Took me a week to pass twenty six."

"Well...good for you."

"Thanks. How about you?"

"I don't really play video games."

He laughs. "No. I mean, you do anything exciting lately?"

She sighs. She still hasn't gotten back to her dating stories. But with Dom missing, she thinks it's probably reasonable that she wouldn't be having much of a social life. "Not really."

He nods sadly. "I get it."

After a few minutes, he leaves her alone in OPs for a minute to call up the team and once Callen, Sam and Hetty have joined them, Eric introduces the case.

"Lance Corporal Daniel Zuna. Stationed without incident at Camp Pendelton until last night. Preliminary autopsy indicates he died from massive blood loss."

"Gunshot?" Sam asks.

"No." Eric pulls up a picture of Zuna from the previous night. It shows blood coming out of his eyes, nose and mouth. "He bled out through his eyes, ears, nose and mouth. He was on a two week leave." He says, reading off information on his tablet. "Spends a lot of time at an MMA gym; called the Blood and Guts Warriors."

"MMA," Sam says. "Mixed martial arts."

Eric nods. "And he was on his two weeks leave after coming off a guard duty at a bio-lab facility, so he may have been exposed to a biohazard."

"Hazmat assured there's no contagion." Hetty says. "But due caution is advised."

"We need to track Zuna's movements while he was on leave," Sam says.

Callen nods his agreement. "Kensi, sniff around Zuna's gym. See what you can find out from his buddies."

Kensi nods.

She lets Hetty dress her in tights and a tank top. She wears her hair down and pulls her shoulder bag across her chest when she gets out of her car at the gym.

She makes her way up the stairs to the gym, reminding herself she's just Tracy. She's just looking to stay connected to her dead boyfriend Daniel. She practiced in the car.

She reaches the gym floor and something feels...off.

The air in the gym feels charged somehow. She glances around, not sure if she should be uneasy.

There are men around the outskirts of the room shadow boxing, using free standing punching bags, or working out using skipping ropes or stationary bikes. In the centre of the room is a ring where two men are working out. A third, wearing a Blood and Guts Warriors tee shirt, is yelling at one of them. To her immediate right is a line of free standing punching bags. Several men are making use of them. No one seems threatening or to be taking any sort of notice of her.

She shakes her head, trying to clear the cloying sensation.

Kensi walks slowly for the ring, hoping to be noticed by the man in the Blood and Guts Warriors tee shirt, as she assumes he's in charge. She makes sure to still be aware of her surroundings as she steps forward, putting herself into a more and more vulnerable situation. Something is still niggling at the back of her mind.

When she's halfway to the ring, the entire row of punching bags comes into her view to her right. And at the end of them she can now see a man who hadn't been in her field of vision before. A man wearing red shorts and a white shirt. A man she knows very well.

He looks over and does a double take as he recognizes her at the same time she does him.

And for the first time in her undercover career, she freezes and stares.

He stares back.

00

 _ **AN: I thought this would be a fun surprise at the end of the chapter... I'm actively working on the Hand-to-hand chapter and maybe 60-80% finished, depending on how much polishing it needs.**_

 _ **I really want to thank everyone who left opinions on when the big reveal should happen. It's interesting that when I first asked early in the story, only a couple people wanted to see the reveal happen right away and most wanted it kept a secret for a long time. Now, many wanted to see the reveal in hand-to-hand or right after, many wanted to see it happen in season two, and only a couple wanted to see it happen later. Anyway...I don't want to give away what's going to happen, but I thought I'd share the 'results' of the poll. I really do appreciate the interest in this story and willingness to share your thoughts.**_


	16. Hand-to-Hand - Part I

_**AN: I don't think this is ever going to be quite as good as I want it to be...I had to split it due to length. So, on the down side, you don't get the whole 'Hand-to-Hand' chapter to read quite yet. But on the up side, you do get this 6.5k installment now! I'm hoping to have part II by the weekend? It's proving to be more challenging than I expected.**_

 _ **Also, the site has been doing some strange things, so if you're surprised to find we're already at the Hand-to-Hand chapter, you really need to go back and read the last chapter. Possibly the last 2. If you're signed up for alerts, I think they went out late if at all for the last two chapters. (I didn't get my e-mail confirmation for 2 or 3 days).**_

* * *

Episode 1.19 - Hand-to-Hand. Part I.

The air in the gym feels charged somehow. She glances around, not sure if she should be uneasy.

There are men around the outskirts of the room shadow boxing, using free standing punching bags, or working out using skipping ropes or stationary bikes. In the centre of the room is a ring where two men are working out. A third, wearing a Blood and Guts Warriors tee shirt, is yelling at one of them. To her immediate right is a line of free standing punching bags. Several men are making use of them. No one seems threatening or to be taking any sort of notice of her.

She shakes her head, trying to clear the cloying sensation.

Kensi walks slowly for the ring, hoping to be noticed by the man in the Blood and Guts Warriors tee shirt, as she assumes he's in charge. She makes sure to still be aware of her surroundings as she steps forward, putting herself into a more and more vulnerable situation. Something is still niggling at the back of her mind.

When she's halfway to the ring, the entire row of punching bags comes into her view to her right. And at the end of them she can now see a man who hadn't been in her field of vision before. A man wearing red shorts and a white shirt. A man she knows very well.

He looks over and does a double take as he recognizes her at the same time she does him.

And for the first time in her undercover career, she freezes and stares.

He stares back.

00

"You wanna train, it's sixty bucks a month, you bring your own gear and we got no women's locker room so you'll have to change in your car."

Kensi snaps out of her shock at the sound of a close voice being directed at her. She turns her head to find the man in the Blood and Guts Warriors shirt staring at her from the ring. Now that he's facing her, she notices he's wearing an eye patch over his left eye.

"Oh, uh, no. I mean, hi." She fights the urge to glance to her right, where she knows her husband is only twenty feet away. She must have walked right in on his undercover operation. "I'm not here to train. I'm a friend..." She stops herself the way she practiced in the car. Thankfully, her training is kicking in and taking over because her focus is not. "Was a friend," she pretends to correct. "Of Daniel's."

He sighs. "You heard what happened?"

She nods, her attention still divided between her undercover assignment and wanting to turn her head towards her husband. "I still can't believe it. I just thought I'd come see this place. He was always talking about it."

The man steps out of the ring to approach her. She turns to follow his movement. Behind him, she catches sight of her husband. He's pretending to be working out on one of the free standing punching bags, but his attention is half on her.

"Well, Danny was a hell of a fighter. Even better man." He pauses for a moment. "I'm Victor Janklow."

"Tracy." She shakes his hand.

"You his girl?"

She forces a smile to her face, ignoring her husband's presence. Her hands grip at the strap of her shoulder bag out of habit. "I guess. We only just started dating, but it was intense." She's infinitely glad she practiced all of this in the car. She pauses for a beat before motioning towards the men around them. "So how can you guys keep training if...you know?" Her original plan had been to use that line to get whoever was in charge to introduce her to other people. Now, she's not sure if that's a good idea or a bad one, but she was sent here with an assignment. She needs to gather information on the marines Zuna was close to.

"We're marines. It's how we do it," He says proudly before explaining, "I was Danny's platoon sergeant."

Kensi pretends to remember something. "He talked about you a lot."

Janklow chuckles. "Yeah, probably only half of what he told you was true. The bad half."

Kensi offers a half smile, but on the inside, she's not smiling because Janklow's not taking the bait to introduce her to the other guys. She pushes a little harder. "I thought maybe if I saw where he trained, it would help me stay connected."

"You know any of the guys?"

Finally. "No, I never met them."

Janklow turns to call them over. "Hey, hey! Guys, come here!"

Kensi's not sure if she's happy or devastated when her husband joins the group. He stands to her immediate left and she resolutely keeps her eyes off of him. In all the years they had both been working undercover operations in the same city, she had never foreseen circumstances that would bring them together like this.

Janklow proceeds with introductions. "This is Corporal Craig Mangold, retired," he says, starting furthest from Kensi. "This is Corporal Dale Johnson. Corporal Nelson Shabazz." Then he moves to Deeks, who is clearly trying not to look too closely at her. "And that's Jason Wyler."

Kensi avoids his gaze and nods at all of them.

"This is Tracy," Janklow continues. "Danny's girl."

Kensi does her best not to flinch at being introduced as another man's girl in front of her husband. He clearly knows he's undercover with marines. And he knows she's NCIS, so he knows she's undercover, just like she does him. But she still doesn't like it.

"Yeah? How did you find out?" Deeks asks.

He's clearly surprised to see her and it suddenly occurs to her that her presence is the first thing alerting him to the fact that Zuna's death may not be an accident. He has been undercover with these guys for months, had known Zuna had been working at a bio-lab prior to his death, and had probably assumed his death had been an unfortunate accident. This is her chance to give him a heads up that it may not have been an accident.

"The police called me," she says, meeting his eyes. "My number's in his cell phone." She knows he'll understand she's telling him to call her if he can.

"Danny had a lot of girls' numbers in his cell phone," he says back. But she understands what he's really telling her. Daniel Zuna had been his main mark. He had told her before he went undercover that he would be infiltrating a drug ring, so maybe Zuna was a supplier?

She meets his eyes for a beat longer than necessary, telling him she understands. "Well, I guess mine was just the last one dialled."

"Come on Jason," Mangold speaks up. "We're all feeling bad."

"Maybe it was a mistake coming here," she says, taking a step back as she suddenly feels too exposed. She doesn't want to push too hard and endanger her husband or his operation.

"No, no. Hey. You come by here any time, okay?" Janklow says.

"Thank you."

"Thanks for stopping by."

She turns to leave, but Mangold catches her on her way out.

She turns back.

"Sorry about Jason," he offers. "He's wound a little tight." He frowns and turns to look back over his shoulder at Deeks.

Kensi shakes her head, suddenly protective of her husband. "That's okay," she says, pulling his attention back to her. She doesn't want his focus on Deeks.

"Listen, if you want to talk, there's some things I..." He glances over his shoulder again, but this time at Janklow. He turns back to Kensi. "Maybe a drink some time?"

Kensi suddenly has the distinct impression there's more going on here than marine buddies selling drugs. "Sure. She digs through her bag, careful not to let him see her sig, and pulls out a pen and pad of paper. She writes down the number of her newest burner cell and passes him the paper. "One for Danny?" She says, using the nick name everyone else had used for Daniel.

He takes the paper and nods.

When she leaves, Kensi carefully gets into her car and drives away so as not to arouse any suspicion if she happens to be watched. Once she's around the corner and out of sight, though, she starts tapping the steering wheel with her free hand. And then she adds biting down on her lower lip.

Her worlds are colliding. And she can't do anything to stop it.

She has always thought if the rest of her co-workers one day find out about her husband, it will be by her choice. Or at the very least by her own mistake. She has never considered their cases may cross like this. And she has definitely never expected to bump into her husband while he was undercover.

And now, after months without him, she knows where her husband is. And she actually got to _see_ him. And he looked _good_. But she couldn't even _touch_ him. And there's a drug ring; which she knows about because of her secret marriage only. So, she doesn't know if she's supposed to disclose that to her team. And if she does, she has no idea where to start.

Also, there's a possible murder, which her husband only sort of knows about now because of her surprise appearance. And she knows he'll do his best to contact her as soon as he's clear. But when he calls, _she_ may not be clear of her co-workers. So, how is she supposed to explain _that call_? And also, she doesn't have anything concrete to tell him yet.

She has to go back to work and figure out how to balance everything without her brain exploding.

00

 _"I think my brain is going to explode," Kensi complained._

 _"I don't think that's actually a thing," her husband responded. He sent her a cheeky look from across the kitchen where he was chopping vegetables._

 _She glared at him from the kitchen table._

 _He shrugged. "Seriously. Exploding brains? Sounds messy. But I've never heard of it actually happening."_

 _She groaned and laid her head down onto the table. "Remind me never to marry a lawyer again."_

 _He laughed. "I'm not sure if I should be offended by that or not?"_

 _"You definitely should be," she mumbled into the table._

 _Soft footsteps sounded as he approached and then his hand found its way into her hair. "Why is your brain going to explode?"_

 _She turned her head to find he had crouched down beside the table and was now at eye height with her. "I can't fit anymore facts."_

 _"Maybe that just means you know everything you need to know?"_

 _"But there's so much left to go over and-"_

 _He shook his head and stood up, tugging gently at her hand. "Come on, study break."_

 _"But-"_

 _"Ten minutes."_

 _"But-"_

 _"No buts. I'm not about to let my wife's brain explode. Ten minute break. Then you can go back to studying for finals."_

 _She allowed herself to be tugged off her seat and towards the counter. "Okay." She picked up the knife and began chopping vegetables for their salad. "But only ten minutes."_

 _He pressed a kiss to the back of her head. "Make it fifteen and I'll help you study."_

 _She leaned back into him and smiled. "Deal."_

00

Kensi decides in the car before she gets back to the mission that her best plan of action is to go straight to Hetty because Hetty always knows what to do. And if there is any way to get through this case without her coworkers finding out about her marriage, Hetty will know how to go about that. She arrives and parks her car, calm now that she sort of has a plan.

Unfortunately, Hetty is on the phone when Kensi enters the building.

She hovers for a moment, trying to catch the older woman's attention and at the very least motion that she has something important to tell her, but Hetty waves her off. Clearly, Hetty's call is very important as well.

She wonders if Hetty would prioritize differently if she knew one of her agents head's were about to explode.

Callen, Sam and Nate are in the bullpen. They wave her over when they see her. She goes because she knows standing in the middle of the building trying to wave for Hetty's attention like a crazy person will only succeed in...well, making her look like a crazy person.

Callen and Sam tell her Zuna had definitely been murdered. He had been blood packing; injecting himself with extra stores of his own blood to boost his red blood supply to help his fighting. The coroner had confirmed he had been injected with a lethal dose of heparin about an hour before he died. The blood thinner, along with the increased blood pressure, caused his blood to seep out the most porous membranes in his body; eyes, ears, nose and mouth.

"So, we need to look into Zuna's personal life," Nate says. He looks to Kensi. "How did it go at the gym?"

 _Oh, fucking fantastic, thanks for asking._ "Uh, fine." She says. Her ears are buzzing and it feels like everyone is staring at her, able to look into her and know her secret. She swallows down what she knows is a ridiculous thought. As far as Callen, Sam and Nate are concerned, nothing has changed. She glances towards Hetty, but she's still on the phone. "Uh, one of the guys, Corporal Craig Mangold, seemed like he has more to tell me. I gave him my number."

"Good." Callen nods. "Anything else come up?"

 _Only my whole life crashing down around me. Does that count?_ "I-"

"You know what, let's go up to OPs," Callen says, cutting her off with an apologetic smile.

Sam nods his agreement. "We have Eric putting together bios on the guys Zuna was working out with. We can go over each one of them and then you can add anything you learned at the gym."

She forces a nod. "Sounds good."

Callen and Sam head up the stairs first.

Kensi glances at Hetty. She's still on the phone, but it looks like maybe the call is starting to wrap up. Maybe? Hopefully?

Nate begins to follow Callen and Sam up the stairs, but she impulsively catches his arm.

He stops and sends her a questioning look.

"Kensi?"

"I need a favour."

"Alright." He agrees easily but his expression tells her he's really concerned and not about to forget about her sudden strange behaviour. And he's Nate, so of course he's noticing her incredible unease right now.

Well, right now she can't bring herself to care what Nate does and does not notice. She knows she can trust him. "I need you to wait down here and make sure Hetty comes upstairs the moment she's off the phone."

He narrows his eyes and studies her for a moment. "Why?"

"Can you just...do this for me, Nate? Please?" She doesn't know what she should say to anyone at this point. And if once Hetty is in the loop she thinks Kensi should come clean about everything to anyone or everyone, she will gladly do so, but right now, she needs to wait just a little longer. "They need me upstairs because I'm the only one whose met these guys."

He nods. "Okay."

"Thank you." She says whole heartedly and then turns and hurries after Callen and Sam.

She practically slides into OPs. Eric has a picture of Zuna on the big screen, along with his service record.

"Where's Nate?" Sam asks.

"He'll be up in a minute," Kensi says, nodding for them to get started.

They start by going over Zuna's background again. Well liked in the navy. Good service record. He was on a two week leave after serving guard duty at a bio unit.

"And part of the Blood and Guts Warriors," Eric says. He changes the picture to a groups shot of five; Zuna, Janklow, Mangold, Johnson and Shabazz. They're all posing with their fists up in front of a Blood and Guts poster. "They fight as a team, mostly taking on other gyms in the area."

He pulls up individual service pictures of each on top of the group picture. "Janklow and Mangold are former marines. Janklow was their platoon sergeant when they all served together in Iraq. He lost an eye, left the Marine Corps, and now he owns the gym and all the other guys train there." He pauses before continuing. "Johnson and Shabazz are active duty marines. Both served with Zuna."

Kensi nods, and for a moment, wonders if Eric's research stopped there.

"There's also a newer member of the group," Eric continues. "Jason Wyler."

"Marine?" Sam asks.

Eric shakes his head as he brings up a picture of a driver's license that has Deeks's picture on it. "Not a marine. I got nothing on him yet. But he's been paying to train at the gym at least the last three months."

"Three months?" Sam nods thoughtfully. "Might be a good place to start. The others are marines who served together."

Callen nods to his partner. "Compared to marines who served together, he'd be much more likely." He turns to Kensi. "What was your impression of him?"

"I don't really think he's a good place to start," she rambles slightly. "I didn't really get a murderous impression from him."

Callen and Sam both stare at her for a moment.

Internally, she cringes. "He was very easy to talk to. Very...nice, even." They're still staring at her and she seriously needs them to stop. "And look at him." She waves at the picture on the screen, trying to get their attention off her, even though the moment she does it she knows it's a mistake. "He just doesn't seem like a murderer," she finishes weakly.

Sam and Callen exchange a look.

"He was nice?" Sam asks, barely holding back his grin.

"What is it that got you?" Callen asks. "Was it his baby blues?"

"Or maybe his fluffy hair?" Sam piles on.

Kensi makes a face. "Shut up."

"Well, regardless of what got you," Callen says, still smiling as he teases her, "I will remind you that we do not rule out suspects because they are nice."

Kensi glances at the picture on the driver's license under the false name of Jason Wyler. The picture of the person she trusts more than anyone else in the world. And for a moment, she imagines herself coming clean and telling Callen, Sam and Eric the truth. She imagines announcing she knows he's not a murderer because he's an undercover cop. And she imagines them asking how she knows he's an undercover cop. And she imagines telling them that he's her husband. She almost smiles as she imagines the shocked looks on their faces.

But instead, she nods to her team leader. "You're right. My gut tells me it's not him. But we need to follow each lead."

Callen sends her back a grateful, but slightly odd, look. He turns to Sam. "Talk to their former Commanding Officer. See if there's anything there. Kensi and I will go check out Zuna's house."

Kensi follows Callen back downstairs, hopeful to find Hetty off the phone. Unfortunately, the older woman is still very much involved in a now animated phone call.

Callen takes a moment to grab something from his desk and Kensi makes a beeline for Nate, who is somewhat surreptitiously watching Hetty from the gadget table.

"She's still on the same call," he tells her.

She runs a hand through her hair and glances at Callen and then quickly back to Nate. "We're on our way out. Can you have her call me the moment she gets off the phone?"

He nods, but looks trouble. "Is everything...okay?"

She almost laughs. "I..." She runs her hand through her hair. "Nate, I literally don't know how to answer that right now."

He frowns. "You're not in trouble?"

She shakes her head. "No, it's...complicated."

He looks like he wants to say more.

"Nate, I-"

"Kensi?" Callen calls.

She sighs. "Later?"

He nods.

"Thanks, Nate." She turns and hurries after Callen.

00

Kensi is on edge for the entire drive to Zuna's house, anxious her phone will ring and it will be either Hetty or her husband. She trusts Nate will have Hetty call her as soon as he can. And she trusts her husband will call her as soon as it's safe for him and his operation, but that could be hours or days. She's desperate to speak with both of them, though she doesn't know how well either conversation will go with Callen sitting beside her in the car.

When they arrive at Zuna's house, Callen stands back as Kensi easily picks the lock. It's probably the first easy thing that's happened all day and she breathes a sigh of relief when the door swings open.

The house is pretty much as expected from Zuna's file.

"Crappy furniture. Brand new TV," Kensi comments.

"The man had his priorities," Callen responds.

She spies a laptop sitting on the table and wanders over to it. "Laptop." She taps a key and smiles. "Left on and not password protected. This is going to be easy." She sits and begins to check the most recently accessed files.

Callen wanders into the kitchen. "It's like a pharmacy in here," he calls.

Kensi is about to respond when the front door opens behind her. She turns in time to catch sight of her husband stepping inside.

And for the second time that day, she stares at him in surprise while he stares right back at her.

"Whoa," he stutters slightly in his surprise, jolting her out of her own shock.

They are so close. And they've been apart so long. And there are no possible suspects watching this time. And all she wants is to stand up and hurry over to him and hug him and let him hold her. But Callen is still in the kitchen.

She keeps staring, greedily taking in his appearance now that she is able to stare. His hair is a little longer than normal, but she finds she kind of likes it. And where he often comes back from assignments underweight, he's bulked up. The muscular upper arms she had noticed at the gym earlier are apparent even now under his tee shirt and jacket. And she's pretty sure his chest is bigger.

He stares back, just as happy to see her as she is him, and takes a step towards her.

She holds up a hand. "You scared me." She hates herself for stopping him, but until she has some sort of guidance from Hetty, she should try to do her best to keep her secret.

His brow furrows and she uses the hand she's holding up to point to the kitchen. His expression clears and he nods in understanding.

"How'd you get in here?" He asks, playing along.

"Danny gave me a key. What are you doing here?" She asks, standing to face him.

He holds up a key. "I live here. Spare room." His expression tells her he really has been living here. "Danny's laptop?" He motions to the laptop still sitting on the table.

She glares at him for asking about the computer.

He shrugs, as if motioning that he had to ask.

"I, uh, e-mailed him some photos," she says the first thing that pops into her mind.

He raises an eyebrow.

"Private photos," she clarifies, shaking her head at herself as she does.

Now he's just smirking at her and she's seriously going to kill him.

"You mean like the two of you watching the sunset together at Santa Monica Pier?" He asks, still smirking, "Or the kind where you're not wearing anything but a smile?"

Okay, now she's definitely going to kill him. After she gets to touch him, of course. Because she really needs to touch him. Soon. The way he keeps smirking at her is making it really hard to not be kissing him. And she needs to know what those muscled arms and chest feel like under her hands. And she _really_ needs to be held by those arms.

She attempts her best glare. "A certain kind of person finds private photos like that and they end up on the internet."

"Wow, so definitely x-rated then?" His smirk is more of a scorching glare now. He's definitely imaging the second type of picture.

Kensi swallows hard. It's been _months_. She misses him in _every_ way. And this line of fake conversation they're putting on for Callen's sake is not helping. And... Why are they doing this?

She shakes her head. "Screw it," she mutters to herself before stepping forward quickly. It should have taken her five steps to get to him, but he meets her in the middle in a crash of limbs and lips.

His arms envelope her and are just as strong and solid as she imagined. He pulls her against his chest and captures her lips in a breathless kiss.

"I missed you," she mumbles between kisses, "So much."

"So much," he agrees.

She pulls back for a moment and turns, expecting to see an incredulous team leader standing in the doorway of the kitchen. But he's not there. "Callen?" She calls out.

No response.

She walks into the kitchen to find a window open.

"He must have left."

"He left you here?" Deeks asks, incredulous. "He doesn't know I'm not dangerous."

She meets him back in the living room and steps into his waiting arms once more. And don't those arms feel just as amazing around her the second time. "He'll come back, just give him a minute. He'll get me out without blowing my cover."

"How?"

She shakes her head before settling it against his shoulder. "I don't know yet. But we probably only have a couple minutes."

He presses a kiss to the top of her head. "I'm glad you have a good team. Any news on your partner?"

"No."

"I'm sorry."

"We're still looking." She tightens her hold on him. "I'm glad you're safe."

He huffs a laugh. "I think I almost had a heart attack when you walked into the gym this morning."

"Me, too."

"You didn't know I was there?"

"Nope."

He chuckles.

"Daniel Zuna was murdered," she says, wanting to give him all the information she can in the limited time she knows they have together. "He was blood packing and someone injected him with a massive dose of heparin."

"Good to know. Things have been tense the last few days."

"You said your assignment was drug related?"

"Mmm-hmm," he agrees.

"Zuna's tox screen was clean."

"That's because his jones was steroids."

"But the rest of the gym?"

"Mini-mart for druggies. What you want when you want it. LAPD has been getting intel for months."

Kensi sighs, knowing their time is running short. "You be safe."

"Of course. You, too."

"Always am." She pulls back to meet his eyes. "My boss was busy this morning when I got back, but the moment she's free I'm going to tell her what's going on." She feels her chest heave and then release at the thought that this could actually all be over soon. No more secrets. She's not quite sure how she feels about everyone knowing about her home life.

He nods. "Alright."

She tugs him down to kiss him, but just before their lips meet, there's a knock at the door. Kensi groans at Callen's timing and quickly takes a moment to kiss her husband.

"I love you," she whispers.

"I love you, too," he whispers back, pressing a kiss to her forehead before turning to go and open the door.

Callen is standing on the doorstep, wearing a red jacket he definitely did not have with him before. He looks uninterested in just about everything. "Someone call for a cab?"

"That would be me," Kensi says as she steps forward to follow Callen's lead.

Deeks turns to send her an impressed look. She offers a hint of a smile before she's out the door and repressing the urge to glance backwards. "Thanks for stopping by," he calls after her.

She gets into the back of the cab as Callen gets into the driver's seat and they drive around the corner where Callen gives back the cab and jacket to the waiting cab driver. He pays the driver for use of the cab and then Callen and Kensi retrieve their car.

"Nice save with the cab," she tells him.

"Dirty pictures. Nice touch."

She fights the urge to roll her eyes. "Yeah, except it didn't work." His expression tells her he left before the end of that part of the conversation. That was good. "I had to switch up to a drug buy," she makes up to let him know about the drugs in the gym, "And he was interested. I think there's definitely something to that."

Callen nods thoughtfully. "Something we need to look into."

They drive back to the mission and meet up with Sam, Eric and Nate in OPs. Hetty had not been at her desk as they walked by. Kensi pulls her phone out of her pocket, only to find a missed call from Hetty. She curses herself for not paying better attention, but then the call looks like it came in during the very short time she spent with her husband, which she considers time well spent.

Nate catches her arm on the way into OPs. "Hetty called, but you didn't answer."

"I was out with Callen," she says as explanation. "Do you know where Hetty is now?"

He shakes his head. "When you didn't answer, she went up to OPs and then she...well, she disappeared. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Nate. Thank you...for earlier."

He nods and then looks like he wants to say more. Kensi doesn't know how to begin to explain anything to him right now, so she offers him a thin smile and turns for OPs. Nate says nothing further as he follows her.

She walks into OPs while trying to call Hetty back, but the call goes straight to voicemail. She doesn't bother leaving a message, knowing Hetty will see the missed call and call her back when she can.

"Anything?" Callen asks.

"We have an update," Sam says.

"Whoever Kensi's been speaking with, it's not Jason Wyler," Eric says, again displaying the Jason Wyler driver's license on the big screen. "I've checked every known database. There's only a driver's license. No social security record, school records, immunizations. Not even a library card. Your Jason Wyler doesn't exist."

"Wyler told Kensi he lived in Zuna's house," Callen says. "He probably knew he was blood packing. He could have introduced the heparin."

"His commanding officer said he had a drug problem in Iraq," Sam says. "Maybe it was a drug deal gone wrong between him and Wyler."

"Or between him and anyone," Kensi challenges as she joins the conversation. "You said it's not uncommon for fighters to be blood packing. Even someone who doesn't know him well could reasonably assume or find out he was blood packing."

"Regardless of the why, we need to know who Wyler actually is," Callen speaks up. "We also need to look into the drug angle. Nate, can you look into drug related activity at the gym or involving MMA fighters?"

Nate nods. "These guys are all looking to get an edge. Methamphetamines, ephedrine, cocaine. All likely stimulants to appear in that environment. Not to mention performance enhancing drugs. It probably won't narrow things down much."

"Okay, but check it anyway? Kensi said Wyler was interested in a possible drug buy. So we should look into it."

"No problem."

"I'd get Kensi to help you, but she's still stuck on Wyler," Callen calls to get her attention.

Kensi jolts slightly, realizing she's been staring at her husband's picture while the conversation has been going on around her. "I'm not stuck," she bristles.

"Stuck. Smitten. Whatever," Callen teases.

She glares at him.

"Do you still think he's nice?" Sam asks, jumping in on the Kensi abuse train.

"He's not our guy," she says. "I'm the only one who has had any contact with him."

"He's the most likely-"

"You want him to be our guy because he's not one of the marines," she counters, turning the tables back on him. If he's going to use a weakness he's found in her, she's going to use a well known weakness of his. "But each of the marines at that gym are perfectly good suspects, too."

Before Sam can respond, Callen steps in. "Kensi's right. We need to build possible suspect profiles on everyone at that gym."

Sam nods and stares at the screen for a moment before turning his attention back to his partner. "The Warriors are down a fighter. Maybe I should try out?"

Callen nods. "You definitely should try out. It'll be a good way to get info about all of the fighters."

"I'll have to backstop you," Eric says.

Kensi listens as Sam and Callen build a new alias for Sam. She bites her lips as Eric types away, creating the life of DeMarco Williams, a marine from North Carolina. She doesn't like the idea of sending an agent undercover where she knows there's an undercover cop. She _knows_ that's not operationally sound and she's hyper aware that she's the only person in this whole situation that has as much knowledge as she does. If Sam goes undercover, he won't know who Deeks really is. And he already has his mind made up that Deeks, as Jason Wyler, is their guy. And Deeks, knowing NCIS is involved, may or may not identify Sam as another undercover operator. And now that she and Deeks have seen each other in person, she doesn't expect him to still call her. Who knows what might happen if she doesn't speak up?

She cannot allow this plan to move forward.

She feels Nate's gaze on her. He looks concerned. She doesn't even bother to try to hide her anxiety. She had hoped her team could solve Zuna's murder and her husband could gather enough information to bring down the drug ring operating inside the gym and he could come home and she could go back to hiding her marriage from her team.

But she is quickly running out of options. She cannot send Sam undercover with limited information, especially knowing he specifically suspects Deeks, as Jason Wyler, to be the murderer. If the situation goes bad, he won't know who to trust. He could get hurt. And if Deeks does identify him as another undercover operator, Sam could turn on Deeks if Deeks tries to help. She may just have to sacrifice her secret to prevent something bad from happening.

She puffs out her cheeks and releases a slow breath. Then she clears her throat. "Guys-"

The doors open and Hetty steps in, back from wherever it was she had disappeared to earlier.

Kensi stands up a little straighter and tries to catch Hetty's eye, but the older woman barely looks her way.

"Where are we?"

"Warriors are down a fighter," Callen explains for his team. "Sam's going to go in looking to fill the empty spot. He can gather information from the inside."

Hetty purses her lips and then shakes her head. "I'm afraid that's not necessary, Mr. Hanna," she says, addressing Sam. "We already have someone on the inside."

Sam frowns and glances at Kensi and then back to Hetty. "We've established a cover for Kensi, yes, but-"

Hetty raises a hand. "I wasn't referring to Ms. Blye. Though she has established a cover for herself, yes."

Callen and Sam exchange a glance. "Who were you referring to?" Callen asks.

Hetty motions to the picture that's still up on the big screen.

Sam scoffs. "Jason Wyler?"

"The reason Mr. Beale cannot find information on Jason Wyler is that he, in fact, does not exist," she explains.

Kensi holds her breath.

"His name is Detective Marty Deeks. He's undercover with the LAPD, who are investigating the gym for drug distribution."

When Hetty doesn't add _and he's Kensi's husband_ , Kensi very slowly releases her breath of air.

"Wyler's a cop?" Sam asks.

" _Deeks_ ," Hetty corrects. "And yes."

Callen chuckles and turns to Kensi. "I guess you were right, Kens. Looks like he's not our guy. You must have recognized something good in him."

She couldn't help the small smile that came to her lips at Callen's words. "I guess I did."

Even Hetty smiles at Callen's lack of awareness. "She most certainly did, Mr. Callen."

"That's good information to have," Sam says. "But that doesn't mean I can't still go undercover."

"That is exactly what it means, Mr. Hanna," Hetty retorts. "If I had known about his involvement in this case earlier, I would have stopped Kensi from going into the gym as well."

"So, we're just going to let the LAPD ice us out of our own investigation?"

"No, it will be a shared investigation. The LAPD has agreed to brief us at the boatshed in twenty minutes." She glances quickly at Kensi. "Detective Deeks will be there with his supervisor, Lieutenant Bates."

Kensi takes the hints and nods. "How about you two meet with them and I'll stay back and work suspect profiles with Nate?"

Callen considers her option, but shakes his head. "I need you with us. You're the only one with a presence at the gym. If we need to send you back under, you and Deeks should be familiar with each other."

Kensi somehow manages to keep a straight face and nods.

"Callen's right," Sam agrees. "And Nate, you should come, too. He may have information about relationships Zuna had with the other guys you'll have insight into."

Nate nods and then glances at Kensi, worry still shining in his eyes. Callen and Sam may be distracted by the case, but Nate's operational psychologist powers have definitely picked up every tell she's been unable to avoid putting out there to the world in the last several hours.

"Good," Callen says. "Let's go see what this _nice_ cop has got to say."

00

 _ **AN: I hope this is living up to expectations! I purposefully kept the flashback short to keep it from detracting from the story just because of the importance of this chapter.**_

 _ **Thank you so much to everyone reading, reviewing and sending PMs for all the wonderful support! It's been an amazing motivation to keep me at my keyboard night after night to get this chapter posted.**_

 _ **Next up - Bates, Deeks, Kensi, Nate, Callen and Sam in the boatshed... Seriously, Kensi has nothing to worry about...lol.**_


	17. Hand-to-Hand - Part II

_**AN: Thanks again for all the wonderful support for this story, and more especially this set of chapters. This is part two of three of the Hand-to-hand chapters, which ended up being far longer than I ever expected, but they serve so many purposes that I just couldn't make it shorter. Not only was there, of course, Kensi and Deeks running into each other, and having to tell the actual plot of the story (Zuna's death and murder investigation), but this is the chapter where the team and Deeks meet for the first time. I had hoped to keep it to two parts, but this chapter is ~9k words, and there's already so much more left to write, that I decided to just make it three parts. I'm aiming for mid-week for the part three. I have included a more detailed PM at the bottom that I hope you will take a moment to read.**_

 _ **Please keep in mind while reading this that while WE know that Deeks ends up as the liaison, the characters DO NOT know this. As far as Kensi and Deeks are concerned, they're working this one time case together and then after, he goes back to being a cop and she goes back to being an agent (before the scene with Hetty in the end, of course).**_

 _ **Lastly, I've lost control of my inbox...lol. (I was losing control and then I couldn't get in for a couple days last week, and then I didn't get notifications for a bunch of new PMs until all at once a few days ago). So, if I 'disappeared' mid PM conversation or never responded to you, I am SO sorry. I am working to gain some semblance of control, but my focus the last couple weeks has been on this set of chapters. For now, if you have a question or comment that you want a response to sooner rather than later, I'd say send it in a review rather than a PM, because that way at least it's tagged to this story and I will see it for sure.**_

 _ **Thanks for reading!**_

* * *

Episode 1.19 - Hand-to-Hand. Part II.

Kensi feels like she's in a fog as she follows Callen and Sam down the stairs from OPs. Only this morning, everything was normal. She missed her husband and their life together, yes. But her life wasn't on the verge of upheaval like appears to be now.

She is literally about to leave for the boatshed with Callen, Sam and Nate to meet her husband and his boss. How exactly did that happen? She's halfway down the stairs, trailing behind the boys, as if that will actually delay the inevitable, when it hits her that not only does her team not know about her husband, but her husband's lieutenant doesn't know what she actually does for a living. She swallows a groan as she realizes her cover as a government administrative worker married to a cop is about to be burned and there's absolutely nothing she can do about that. She can only hope her husband will have the foresight to give his boss a heads up so he doesn't blow her cover with her team.

That is, if there is any cover to keep by the time this is over.

When they reach the bottom of the stairs, the boys make a beeline for their desks. Kensi follows numbly. She follows Sam's lead in picking up her keys.

"I'll drive with Sam," Callen says. "You take Nate?"

She nods. "Okay."

Nate sends her another look of concern. She's lost track of how many of those she's gotten from him today. She's also lost track of when she stopped caring.

"Mr. Callen, hold up a moment," Hetty calls as she descends the stairs. "I need a word with Ms. Blye before you leave."

Kensi turns to her boss and approaches. She's very aware that Callen joins her.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Callen, I wasn't aware you had changed your name to Ms. Blye as well? That may get confusing around here, don't you think, hmm?"

Callen coughs a laugh. "Sorry. I'll just..." He shakes his head. "Kens, we'll meet you in the parking lot."

Kensi nods.

Hetty waits until the team files out of the office before turning to Kensi and offering her a conspiratorial smile. "It seems we find ourselves in a bit of a pickle."

Kensi runs her hand through her hair. "Hetty, I'm sorry, I had no idea where he was assigned. And I didn't know if I should say anything."

"You didn't do anything wrong, dear. When I couldn't reach you after Mr. Getz advised you were so eager to speak with me, I immediately had Mr. Beale walk me through the case. When I saw the picture of Jason Wyler, I immediately knew what had caused your anxiety. I contacted LAPD immediately."

Kensi actually allows herself a smile. "Anxiety is one word for it."

Hetty smiles back. "You've done an excellent job keeping your cover in this unexpected situation."

"What do I do now?"

"What you always do; the best you can. I leave the judgement call up to you, Kensi. If you feel you need to reveal your secret to all or any member of your team, then you may do so."

"For the betterment of the case."

Hetty lays a hand on her forearm. "Or for your personal well being. I know it's been difficult for you to keep this secret. And I saw how it helped you to share your secret with Mr. Vail. You have proven yourself more than capable of great things, Kensi. Knowledge and secrets are power. And we must be careful of who we share our most treasured secrets with. I know you have learned that. But if now or in the future you wish to share your secrets, I will not begin to stop you."

Kensi swallows hard as a wave of stress just melts away. "Thank you."

Hetty nods. "Now, you better go meet with your team. And Lieutenant Bates."

"And Marty," she adds.

Hetty smiles in a conspiratorial way. "Oh, did I forget to mention him?"

Kensi frowns, but Hetty is already turning away, so she doesn't have any opportunity to ask for clarification. Not that she knows what she would ask.

She hurries outside to meet Callen, Sam and Nate.

"What did Hetty want?" Callen asks.

Kensi furrows her brow, still thrown off by Hetty's final comment. "I...I'm not sure. You know Hetty."

He nods. "I do." Then he laughs. "One day we'll understand her master plan."

Sam snorts. "Doubtful. I think Hetty's operating on a level none of us can even comprehend."

Nate nods. "I'm with Sam. I doubt we even notice half the things she puts in motion."

Callen shrugs. "Maybe. But we don't have time for a philosophical Hetty debate right now. We need to be at the boatshed in less than ten minutes."

Callen and Sam drive to the boatshed in the Challenger. Kensi and Nate follow behind in the SRX. Kensi's heart is thumping against her chest almost painfully as her anxiety gradually returns the closer they get. Despite Hetty's blessing, she's worked with her team for two and a half years, so she doesn't exactly want to let them know about the most important part of her life quite like this. She had always hoped that if and when the day came, it would be by her own decision, and not because she was backed into a corner.

Regardless of their awareness, her team _is_ about to meet her husband. And she has no way to speak with him first. She doesn't know if he expects them to know who he is to her or not. And she has no way to know how Bates will respond to her. The day's lack of control is _really_ starting to piss her off.

"So, you seem...a little stressed." Nate broaches the topic when they're halfway to the boatshed.

"You noticed," she says dryly.

He doesn't respond for a long moment, clearly thrown off that she doesn't downplay her obvious anxiety or try to subvert his question. "I did notice," he finally says. "And I'm concerned."

"You don't need to be concerned," she counters.

"You're not fine, Kensi," he says. "You've been anxious for hours and-"

"I never said I was fine," she retorts.

He huffs a laugh. "Sorry. Habit with you, I guess."

She shoots him a glare. "That does not sound professional," she teases. "For the record, I did not say I was fine. I said you don't need to worry."

"That is what you said," he agrees.

She takes one hand off the wheel to run her fingers through her hair. Nate's been there for her all day when she's needed him. "I'm..." she trails off. _Married. I'm married. How hard is that to say?_ But they're less than a minute away from the boatshed and she needs more time than that to explain. "Nothing is wrong, exactly," she says. "You really don't need to worry. There are things about me you don't know." She glances at him and takes in his still concerned, but also understanding and accepting, expression. "But maybe you should know." She pulls the SRX into the boatshed parking lot. "I don't have time now..."

He nods. "Let's talk later. Set aside some time after the case."

She nods. "Sounds good."

They get out and meet Callen and Sam. Together the four of them walk into the boatshed. There are two cars in the parking lot, so it's not a surprise that Deeks and Bates are already there. It's not unusual for Hetty to advise anyone they are meeting at the boatshed to let themselves in.

Callen and Sam lead with Kensi following and Nate taking up the rear. Deeks and Bates are sitting across from each other at the table, clearly taking advantage of the face to face time to discuss the operation. They look up when the team enters.

Deeks meets Kensi's eyes for a brief moment and she surreptitiously shakes her head, telling him her team does not know who he is to her.

"Good, you're here," Bates says. "Can we make this as quick as possible? I need to get my boy, here, back undercover."

Callen nods. "Thank you for agreeing to this meeting. We'll be as quick as we can." He pauses. "I'm Agent Callen." He shakes hands with Bates.

"Lieutenant Bates," Bates says as he shakes Callen's hand. "And this is Detective Deeks."

Deeks steps around the table to shake Callen's hand, too. "Agent Callen," he greets with an easy smile. Then he narrows his eyes as he pretends to remember something. "Does your boss know you moonlight as a cab driver?"

Callen laughs. "Good eye, and good memory. What you didn't know is I was in the kitchen when you came into the house."

Deeks pretends to be surprised by that information. "That was an impressive getaway plan," Deeks comments, nodding towards Kensi. "Strong team."

Callen nods. "We do our best."

"Really nice to see," Deeks says.

Kensi swallows her smile. Callen may not know that his comment is directed more towards her safety than the team dynamics, but she definitely does.

"Thanks," Callen says, before motioning towards Sam. "My partner, Agent Hanna."

Sam steps forward and shakes Bates's hand first and then Deeks's.

"Agent Hanna," Deeks greets.

"Detective," Sam responds evenly.

"And you've sort of met Agent Blye," Callen continues the introductions.

Kensi plays along and steps forward to shake her husband's hand, pretending to be meeting the real him as the real her for the first time. "Detective Deeks," she says. She offers him what she hopes is just a professional smile, but she feels like it's a little too friendly.

"Tracy," he responds effortlessly, squeezing her hand in easy familiarity, and then laughs. "Agent Blye."

She laughs as well before moving to Bates. "Lieutenant Bates."

" _Agent_ Blye," he greets, putting just enough emphasis on her title to let her know Deeks had, in fact, given him a heads up.

She nods to him, subtly showing she's grateful he's helping to keep her cover. With any luck, she can get through this case with her secret intact. Once her husband is home from his assignment and things are back to normal, she'll tell him what Hetty told her and they can discuss whether she should tell her team. She almost smiles at the thought of one day telling Callen and Sam she's married to that cop that helped them on that case that one time.

"And this is our operational psychologist, Dr. Getz," Callen finishes the introductions.

"Dr. Getz," Deeks greets.

"Detective Deeks," Nate responds easily, shaking his hand. He moves on to Bates and shakes his hand as well.

They sit down around the table, LAPD along one side and NCIS along the other.

"So, what can you tell us about Daniel Zuna?" Callen asks.

Kensi actually has to bite back a proud smile as her husband launches into a very detailed synopsis of Zuna's lifestyle and background. He sounds so confident and professional. And he's clearly very good at his job. She's so proud of the cop he's become. And by the look on Bates's face, he shares her assessment. He nods a few times, showing his support and agreement, but doesn't interrupt or take over.

"These last few days have been tense," Deeks begins to wrap up his verbal report. "Zuna was literally two days away from introducing me to his supplier when he died-"

"When he was murdered, you mean," Sam interrupts.

Deeks hesitates for a moment before nodding. "Yes, when he was murdered. Sorry, this information was only recently disclosed to me. Up until this afternoon, I was under the impression he died as the result of exposure to some biochemical from his guard duty rotation." He attempts some levity with a wry smile, "You don't always assume murder when the victim is found bleeding from the eyes, you know?"

"Well, you were wrong," Sam says flatly.

Deeks bristles. "Why am I getting the impression you believe that's my fault?"

"I just don't understand how a marine was murdered while living in the same house as an undercover cop. I guess you weren't paying enough attention."

"That's enough," Bates says. "Deeks's job wasn't babysit those guys."

Kensi looks on in concern as Sam crosses his arms and looks anything but convinced.

"My job," Deeks says, standing up for himself, "is to investigate a drug distribution ring. If I'd had _any_ idea anyonewas planning to murder Danny I would have stopped it."

"We're investigating a murder and all you have is a possible drug distribution ring? None of the information you've provided points to anything in Zuna's past. Maybe if you were doing your job-"

"I was doing _my_ job," Deeks cuts him off this time. "Maybe you should try it."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Sam demands.

"You have me pulled out from undercover and then complain that my intel, which has nothing to do with your investigation, _because it has nothing to do with your investigation_ , doesn't give you any answers. This is a Los Angeles Police Department investigation into a drug ring. We had no idea there was a murder investigation until very recently because _you_ didn't share intel. So why don't you go out and actually do some investigating of your own? Or better yet, why don't you actually try sharing some intel for once?"

"How dare you-"

Callen holds up a hand to cut off any further argument between Deeks and Sam. "Okay, that's enough. This is a joint operation. We need to work together."

Deeks shoots an apologetic glance towards Kensi before shaking his head sadly at Callen. "Agent Callen, we both know it's only a joint operation for Zuna's murder. You expect me to help you solve your case, at the expense of my own if required."

"Deeks is right," Bates says. "There won't be any NCIS assistance with LAPD on bringing down our drug ring. Even if it is being run by marines; active, retired or otherwise."

Silence falls on both sides for a long moment. Callen takes a breath. "NCIS will do it's best to help with both cases. And we'd ask that LAPD do the same."

"Then do us a favour, Agent Callen, and share your intel next time," Bates says, taking over the argument for Deeks. "If we'd been told Daniel Zuna's death was ruled a homicide, or was even suspicious, from the start, we would have informed Detective Deeks, who would have more information for you now." He turns his attention to Sam. "You want to complain about our lack of information, Agent Hanna? If you want my opinion, you made your own bed."

Sam sits back in his chair, arms still crossed, but says nothing.

Callen glances at his partner and then back at the LAPD side of the table. "Thank you for the information," he says, clearly trying to mend whatever fences he can. "We will work towards the resolution of both cases."

Bates nods. "As will we."

"Agent Hanna and I need to get back," he says. "If you have a few more minutes, I'd like to leave Agent Blye and Dr. Getz to go over the relationships Zuna had with the other members of the gym? Agent Blye is the only member of our team familiar with them, and Dr. Getz is an expert in human behaviour and interaction."

"That would be fine," Bates agrees.

Callen and Sam leave quickly. The moment they're gone, Kensi covers her face with her hands and lets out a sigh. She scrapes her palms down her face and when she looks up she realizes everyone is looking to her for direction. _Everyone._ Deeks, Bates and Nate.

She can either move on from the minor disaster that just occurred or she can give up the ghost and start over. If she moves on, Deeks and Bates will follow her lead and Nate will never know.

But she doesn't want that.

She lifts her head to face Deeks and Bates. "I am so sorry. They're not usually... We're not usually..." She trails off searching for words and turns to Nate looking for help.

Nate covers well for his surprise that she's actually addressing what just occurred with LAPD, but looks a little put on the spot that she's looking for input from him. "Uh..."

"I mean, Sam can be...Sam. And he never likes it when marines are implicated. But even that was..."

Nate still isn't helping her with any words. He looks like he wants to help, but doesn't know if she's looking for honesty or for him to downplay what's just occurred.

"And I didn't know what to say, you know?" She continues. "Regardless of who you both are, this should not have happened."

Nate frowns slightly at her words now, starting to realize something is off.

"You just being here is remarkable," Bates speaks up, humour evident in his eyes. "What for a government administrative worker and all."

Kensi laughs out loud at that.

"Impressive," Bates continues. "Not many can lie to me and get away with it."

"Technically I didn't lie to you," Kensi points out. "I just said I do a lot of paperwork, which is true."

Bates considers her for a moment, probably recalling the dozen or so times they've interacted in the past, before nodding. "Smart." Then he smacks Deeks lightly on the back of the head.

"Hey! What was that for?"

" _You_ lied to me. You told me she was a government administrative worker."

"Shouldn't you be impressed that I convinced you instead of smacking me in the back of the head?"

"Maybe a little of both, kid."

Kensi laughs and then glances at Nate, who has that look on his face where he knows he's out of the loop. She feels a sudden wave of relief because she knows what she's about to do is right. She stands and tugs on Nate's arm for him to follow her lead.

"Let's do this properly."

Deeks stands and makes his way around the table. He's barely biting back a smile.

Nate watches him suspiciously and glances at Kensi like he knows whatever is about to happen will blow his mind. But he trusts Kensi.

"Nate," she starts, using his first name. "This is Marty. My husband."

00

 _Kensi rolled her eyes as her husband stopped their progress down the hall in the psychology wing of the university to stare at the framed Rorschach paintings._

 _"Ooh, these are cool!"_

 _She watched him as he cocked his head left and then right as he stared down the first of half a dozen paintings hanging on the wall. "What am I supposed to be seeing here? Is it like magic eye puzzles? Will it suddenly just pop out at me?"_

 _She laughed out loud. "No, it's not like magic eye puzzles. It's a Rorshach test."_

 _He glanced at her and then back to the painting. "You say that like it's supposed to mean something to me."_

 _"It's subjective. You look at it and_ you _decide what it looks like to you."_

 _He frowned. "Who decides who's right?"_

 _"There is no right. They're used to determine and interpret underlying personality and emotional functioning."_

 _"I think this one looks like a two sided wave, what does that say about me?"_

 _She bumped his hip. "Probably that you have surfing on the brain," she teased_

 _He laughed._

 _"I don't know," she answered his question. "We haven't gotten that far yet in class."_

 _"We'll get there by the end of the year," a third voice said from behind them._

 _Kensi turned to find her professor standing there. Now that she was in her third year, her classes were smaller and she was starting to get to know her professors much more than in her first and second year. "Professor Strickland," she greeted. "It's nice to see you."_

 _"You, too. Kensi, right?"_

 _She nodded._

 _He turned his attention to Deeks. "And you don't look familiar. Are you considering taking some psychology classes, young man?"_

 _Deeks shook his head. "Unfortunately, no. But this," he motions towards the row of framed Rorschach paintings, "Looks far more interesting than my classes."_

 _Kensi laughed before introducing them. "Marty, this is my clinical and criminal psychology professor. Professor Strickland, this is my husband, Marty."_

 _"Nice to meet you, Marty. What are you taking?"_

 _"Law," Marty answers. "I'm in my second year."_

 _"Good for you." He smiles. "Just not interesting enough for you?"_

 _"We don't have stuff like this." He waves at the paintings again._

 _"Well, if you're ever too bored, there's always room here in psychology. Your wife would be able to show you the ropes. She's a smart one."_

 _Deeks hooked his arm around her waist with a smile. "Oh, don't a know it."_

 _Professor Strickland bid them goodbye and moved on._

 _Kensi leaned into Deeks with a happy sigh._

 _"What?" He asked._

 _"I just..." She smiled and turned her head to hide her smile against his shoulder._

 _"What?" He asked again, bumping her gently with his hip._

 _"I like introducing you as my husband," she admitted shyly._

 _"Yeah? Well, I like that people know that you're my wife."_

 _"It's pretty awesome, huh?"_

 _"Very awesome."_

 _"Think it'll ever get boring to refer to each other like this?"_

 _He shrugs. "I hope not."_

00

To Nate's credit, he doesn't overreact to the news. He actually seems to react on autopilot. He blinks. Then he blinks again. Then he accepts Deeks proffered right hand for a handshake.

It's not until Kensi moves from Nate's side to Deeks's side and tucks herself under his left arm that his composure falters.

After a slightly too long handshake, he drops Deeks's hand and clears his throat. "I'm sorry. Your what?"

"My husband," Kensi repeats.

Nate nods, as if confirming to himself that, yes, he did in fact hear that right the first time. "And I'm assuming you did not have time to somehow meet this morning and sneak away to get married this afternoon..."

Kensi laughs. "Not exactly."

"How..." He swallows hard. "How long?"

She shoots him a sympathetic look. "Since college. More than seven years."

Again, he seems to absorb the news fairly well. Little outward reaction. A blink or two. Maybe five.

"Hetty asked me to keep it a secret when I started at OSP," Kensi adds. "I'm sorry I had to lie to you. To everyone." Beside her, Deeks tightens his arm around her waist in silent support.

Nate sort of nods. "If Hetty said..." He trails off.

Kensi frowns slightly, concerned. A quiet Nate is not a normal Nate. But he's a psychologist, so maybe he's just processing.

They move to rejoin Bates at the table. This time, Kensi and Deeks sit beside each other on one side of the table. Nate stumbles slightly before moving around the table to sit beside Bates.

It's this move - now sitting beside Bates and facing the couple - that seems to pull him from his thoughts. "I'm sorry," he says before anything else can be said. "You're married?!"

Kensi cringes. "Yes?" She bites her lip. "Nate, I'm sorry, really, for lying to you-"

"I _knew_ something wasn't right. But _this_... I should have seen this."

"Hetty had me build a pretty convincing cover story," she says.

"All the stories you tell Callen and Sam..." He shakes his head. "All the disastrous dates."

"Made up." She smirks and shoots a glance to her husband. "Well, some are based on true events. Like the one at the fair. Or the wax museum-"

"Okay, in my defense- "

"Or the real museum."

Deeks falls silent. "Yeah, I have no defense for that one."

She smirks and bumps his shoulder.

Nate actually smiles at their interaction. "I _knew_ something was off about your stories. I just...had no idea it was something like this."

"That was the point, Nate."

"Still. So many things make sense now."

"I am sorry I had to lie to you."

He shakes his head. "Don't be sorry, Kensi. You look..." He waves a hand between Kensi and Deeks, "Happy."

She glances at her husband, who is already staring at her with a smile on his face. She smiles back before turning back to Nate. "I am happy."

"Then I am happy for you."

00

The drive back to OPs goes pretty much as Kensi expects.

The moment she pulls the car out of the parking lot of the boatshed, Nate starts laughing.

"You're married."

"Yup."

"Like, _married_ married."

"Yup."

He huffs as he manages to gain control over his laughter. "To a cop."

"Yup."

"He seems like a good guy."

"He is."

"And only Hetty knows?"

She nods. "And Dom. Dom knew. Knows." She shrugs. "Whichever."

He considers her for a moment. "You told Dom or he found out?"

"I told him. He was my partner."

"That's a big deal, Kensi," Nate says, solemnly, all traces of his laughter now gone. "Wherever Dom is, he knows what that means to you. And it makes him feel good to know what _he_ means to you."

She nods. "I hope so."

"You were a good partner to him, Kensi."

She nods, but doesn't have any words to add.

Nate changes the subject. "So, some things are making sense now. Like your reaction when the undercover cop was killed in the fall."

She nods. "Marty was undercover at the time. I don't usually get to know many details about where he is or what he's doing."

"I'm sorry you were worried and we didn't understand why."

She shrugs. "It's not your fault, Nate."

"No," he agrees easily. "But you're in a difficult situation and you deserve the support of your team."

"After Sam's reaction today, I doubt that will happen."

Nate frowns. "Sam was more...extreme than usual. You know how he is when he feels out of control on cases. I'm sure we can resolve both cases and his feelings towards your _husband_ without too much difficulty."

00

As it turns out, Nate was wrong. It's not an occurrence that Kensi has experienced often. But in this case, of all cases, she desperately wanted Nate to be right.

Callen and Sam are up in OPs when Kensi and Nate return from the boatshed. They're working with Eric to go over Zuna's service record.

"Did Deeks give you anything useful after we left?" Callen asks. His tone is neutral and curious only, but he doesn't sound like he expects them to have any earth shattering news.

Kensi shrugs as she joins them by the table. "We went over his relationships with all of the Warriors. Their interactions. What he's told Deeks about his history."

"So, nothing useful at all," Sam says.

Kensi, who is used to tampering down her feelings about her husband when she's around her team, is able to minimize her reaction to his words. "He did say something useful, actually-"

Nate cuts her off. Unfortunately, Nate's loyalty and integrity get the better of him. Now that he knows about Kensi's secret marriage, and knows that Sam's foul mood is directed at her husband, he clearly feels the need to stand up for Kensi and Deeks. "You know, Sam, Detective Deeks made a good point about us not sharing intel."

Silence falls as pressure builds in the room. Callen actually looks impressed at Nate's confidence. Eric, who had been standing between the two partners, tablet in hand, backs slowly away, eyes widened, and retreats to his desk.

"Nate," Kensi whispers, knowing he wouldn't be doing this if not for her.

He shakes his head and meets her eyes for a moment before looking back to Sam. He continues with a soft, even tone, knowing not to challenge Sam in an aggressive way, but determined to make his point. "How could we expect him to tell us anything useful when we had not shared information? He was undercover and had no idea one of his subjects had been murdered."

"Once he was provided the information, he should have been able to provide us with information to aid in our case."

"That's not how it should work," Nate argues. "You don't accept partial information from other agencies when we deal with them."

Sam sighs. "Can we move on? It's just LAPD."

"Hey." Kensi steps forward before she can think twice. She's four feet from Sam with her arms crossed over her chest when she realizes she doesn't want to think twice. "That is not fair. Do you know how many times LAPD has helped us?"

Sam doesn't seem to be relenting, so Kensi tries a different tact. "Or do you know how many times we've been working with other agencies and they've just said to themselves, _oh, it's just NCIS. They don't matter._ "

This time Sam bristles. "I never said LAPD doesn't matter."

"Well, maybe you can try to sound like you believe they matter then."

"Kensi," Callen says softly, calling her down.

She keeps her arms crossed, but takes a step back.

Nate steps up beside her, not quite ready to back down. "I think he bothered you because he called you out," he tells Sam, still with the same calm, Nate voice.

Sam stares warily at him.

"You accused him of not having decent information and not doing his job. He turned the tables on you. He not only pointed out that NCIS withheld information from LAPD, but he pointed out that you expected more than he could give without the withheld information." Nate nodded, impressed. "He was insightful."

"He was good," Callen agrees when his partner does not immediately respond.

Kensi stares at Sam for a moment. The agent is clearly working through Nate's assessment in his head. The last thing she wants is to continue this conversation right now. She just wants to finish this case and move on. If she has any hope of one day introducing her husband to her team and having them get along, she needs to not be fighting with Sam now. "He is good," she agrees, unable to keep just a hint of pride out of her voice. "And, as I was saying before, he provided some information that may be useful."

Callen nods gratefully. "Let's hear it."

"He said all the guys had alluded to an ambush in Fallujah a few times. They got pinned down and had to fight their way out. Lost two of their guys." She gives them a moment to process that. "Said it was a real sore spot and they didn't talk about it much. He didn't think much of it, because they were all marines who served together in combat. But then one night Zuna was drinking and he mentioned he had been driving the humvee when they were ambushed. Apparently Zuna kept saying he knew it was the wrong way and 'orders were orders.' Detective Deeks didn't think much of it, again, because it was a combat situation. But he remembered Zuna had reached out to his Commanding Officer the day before he died." She nods towards Sam. "Davis, right? You said when you spoke with him, he mentioned Zuna had been high and drove them down a wrong road which is how they got ambushed."

Sam nods. "He definitely said Zuna was high and made a mistake. But if Zuna was alluding to something else, it needs looking into."

"Agreed," Callen says. "It's late now. Let's go and surprise him first thing tomorrow morning. Eric, can you pull his phone records?"

Eric, who has been sitting quietly at his desk since he had backed away earlier, nods and turns to his keyboard. "Of course."

Kensi frowns as she catches sight of movement on one of the screens on Eric's desk. "Eric, what are you watching?"

"Oh, I hacked into the video feed from the Blood and Guts Warriors' gym," he says nonchalantly as he continues to type away.

She does not like what she's seeing. "What's going on?"

He shrugs. "Some kind of fight night, I guess?"

"Is Detective Deeks there?"

Eric pauses for a moment to glance at the screen featuring the video feed and then turn back to his screen. "Uh, he wasn't before, probably because he was in the boatshed with you and Nate. Might be now."

Nate takes pity on her. "Eric, can we see it on the big screen?"

"Sure." He continues typing and suddenly a window featuring the video feed is playing on the big screen. Callen reaches to adjust it to the left side of the screen.

Kensi can make out two fighters in the ring. Neither are Deeks. She's pretty sure one is Shabazz, but doesn't recognize the other.

"Good idea to have this up, Eric," Callen says. "We may be able to notice something."

"It's what I do," Eric replies. "And this is what else I do...phone records of one Commanding Officer Davis." He puts them up on the big screen alongside the video feed.

"There's the call from Zuna," Sam points out. "A couple calls, actually."

"And another familiar name," Kensi notices. "Mangold."

"So, something's going on," Callen says. "And we can't question Mangold, because he's probably right there." He motions towards the video feed of the gym.

Kensi huffs a laugh, but it falls flat as she catches sight of her husband in the corner of the screen beside the ring. It doesn't surprise her that he's there. Unfortunately, judging by his clothes and appearance, it looks like he's about to fight.

"I don't recognize any other names on the list," Callen continues. "Do you, Kensi?"

Kensi drags her attention away from the video feed to work her way through the list. When she's finished, she shakes her head. "Nope."

"Okay, let's talk this out," Callen suggests.

Sam nods. "Zuna, Mangold, Shabazz and Johnson served together in Iraq with Janklow as their platoon sergeant. Now they all train together at a gym Janklow owns and operates."

Callen nods. "And Davis was the commanding officer."

"There was an incident in Iraq where they were ambushed and two marines were killed," Kensi adds. "Davis told Sam that Zuna had a drug problem, was high and turned down the wrong street."

"But Detective Deeks told us that Zuna alluded to him that he may have been ordered down that street," Nate finishes.

"And you trust his assessment?" Sam asks.

"Yes," Kensi and Nate say together.

"I would, too," Eric jumps in. He's still sitting at his computer and turns to face them, pointing back at his computer. "I'm looking into the records surrounding their time in Fallujah. Turns out, Davis was being investigated for the ambush."

"Investigated for what part?" Callen asks.

Eric shrugs. "There aren't many details. A week later, he was shot by a sniper and repatriated home."

"That's awfully convenient," Callen says. He exchanges a glance with Sam.

"We definitely need to have another talk with Davis," Sam says. "Still want to wait until tomorrow morning?"

Callen nods. "Let's gather more information now. I want to be ready for tomorrow."

They look into Davis's past, but no red flags pop up. No evidence of drugs, murder or guilt of any kind.

"I wanted there to be _something_ ," Sam says with a sigh.

Kensi nods, but is distracted as she watches her husband's figure on screen. He's jumping up and down just outside the ring, and her gut clenches because she's pretty sure she knows what that means.

Callen follows her gaze and notices right in time for Deeks to step into the ring. "Looks like our detective friend is going to fight."

All conversation about the case falls away as their combined attention falls onto the silent fight about to take place on the video feed. Deeks steps into the centre of the rings, holding up one fist as he is presumably introduced to the crowd. The angle is unfortunate, so the team does not see his opponent until he too steps forward to be introduced. The other man is the same height as Deeks, but has a good thirty pounds of bulk on him.

Sam exhales. "I hope he knows what he's doing," he says, genuinely worried.

Kensi can feel Nate's worried gaze on her, but she ignores it, her eyes glued to the screen.

The fight starts. Deeks and his opponent circle each other. A few tentative punches are thrown.

Kensi breathes.

Then it gets worse.

The opponent strikes forward. Deeks dodges and then strikes back. He manages to tag the opponent, but then gets tagged himself.

"Gotta remember to block," Sam mumbles to himself.

Deeks tags his opponent one more time and then jumps away and circles. He waits for the opponent to come in again. When he does, Deeks dodges one way, then the other. He manages to tag his opponent, but isn't prepared for a kick and is taken to the ground in a moment. He takes a kick on the ground before he's rolling away and back on his feet.

Again, he circles and waits for his opponent to come to him. This time, he's ready and manages to tag his opponent, avoid the kick, and take his opponent to the ground. Unfortunately, with his increased bulk, once on the ground, the opponent is able to keep him at bay and get back to his feet.

Light on his feet, Deeks circles and waits. Again.

Sam clicks his tongue. "He's smart. And quick on his feet. But he's all defense."

Kensi nods absently, knowing how much her husband hates fighting.

When the opponent comes at him again, he manages to tag Deeks and rounds on him with a kick. Deeks avoids the kick, but is distracted and takes a hard blow to the jaw that makes Kensi cringe. It jars him and he only just ducks down in time to avoid a second hit.

Distracted that Deeks has ducked, the opponent is not prepared when Deeks rises and crushes a punch into his own jaw. He staggers backwards and this time Deeks follows him, finishing the fight with a second strong hit that sends his opponent to the ground.

Callen whistles. "Impressive move."

Sam nods his agreement. "He's got raw talent."

Kensi closes her eyes for a moment and releases a slow breath. That is definitely _not_ something she ever wants to witness ever again. "He probably doesn't have much, if any, experience," she offers.

The team spends the next hour going over everything else they can find about Davis and Zuna. Nothing stands out, but they want to be prepared. It's after ten by the time they leave. Despite the late hour, Kensi is wide awake when she leaves. She's been on edge all day and needs some time to come down from her adrenaline high.

Normally when her husband is undercover, she's able to cope because she knows he's good at what he does. But having witnessed the fight has set off her wifely instincts and she desperately wants to be able to see him and touch him and hold him and take care of him and make sure he's okay. Even though he won the fight, she knows he's bruised and sore. But the case isn't quite over, and even if they solve Zuna's murder tomorrow, he may have to stay undercover for longer to solve the drug case.

She stops at a local burger takeout joint, deciding stress eating might be her best and least destructive option to deal with her emotions right now. It's eleven by the time she gets home. She eats half her fries in the car, but it doesn't made a dent in her emotional problems.

She parks the car, pulls her shoulder bag over her shoulder and struggles slightly to balance her bag of takeout while not spilling her milkshake as she shuts the car door and turns to make her way up the walkway to her apartment.

She manages to retrieve her keys and unlock the door, again without spilling her milkshake. It's dark when she steps into the apartment. So dark that she doesn't see the single shoe sitting in front of the door until she nearly steps on it.

The shoe that was definitely not there that morning when she left for work. And not her shoe.

She looks across the room and her eyes land on a form that offers several times more stress relief than all the junk food in the world could. Her husband is flaked out on the couch. He's wearing jeans, a black tee shirt and the one shoe he didn't leave at the front door - their code for him to tell her he's home.

He's also fast asleep with an icepack lying half across his face.

She quietly places her takeout down and removes her shoulder bag. Then she slips off her shoes and pads across the living room to crouch beside him.

Now that she's closer, she sees that the icepack is not even touching him. He'd probably been holding it against his face, but it had fallen away when he had fallen asleep. There's a small cut on his left cheek and his jaw is bruised and swollen. She sighs and reaches to run her fingers through his hair. Then she gently cups the icepack and presses it back to his injured face.

He flails slightly comically at the cool sensation touching him.

She lays a hand on his chest and he settles. "Fancy finding you here on my couch, Detective Deeks," she teases.

He smiles at her. "I didn't want to go back to where I was staying because some crazy chick named Tracy broke in looking for nude photos of herself."

She snorts a laugh. "I was undercover. And it was totally your fault."

"It was impressive. Really. If I didn't know you, I totally would have bought that."

She smiles down at him. "Hell of a day, huh?"

"Never in a million years did I expect you to waltz into that gym."

"Well, I didn't expect you to be there. I seriously thought my head was going to explode."

He reached to brush back her hair near her temple. "I told you a long time ago, Kens; no exploding heads for you. I like your head just as it is." He runs his hand down her neck and shoulder and then tugs gently at her.

She resists, knowing he wants her to lay with him. "Are you okay? We watched the fight."

He raises an eyebrow.

"Our, uh, technical operator hacked the camera in the gym."

Deeks laughs and then offers her a lopsided smile. "I'm stinging a bit, but it's not the first time. I'm okay. Please lie with me. I missed you so much."

"I missed you, too." She releases her hold on the ice pack in order to use both hands to carefully tuck herself between him and the back of the couch. She rests her head on his shoulder and then reaches her arm across his chest to return her hand to holding the icepack to his face. "And I'm so glad you're okay."

He closes his arm around her and sighs. "I really hate fighting. I can't wait for this to be over."

"For what it's worth, Callen and Sam were impressed."

"Sam is Agent Hanna?"

"Yup."

"He actually admitted to that?"

She nods against him. "I'm sorry he acted like that to you. He's been...different since Dom disappeared. Shorter fuse."

"All I care about is that you have a good team that has your back," he tells her, pressing a kiss to her head.

She allows herself a smile at that. "I do have a good team," she tells him. "I wish you did, too."

He closes his arm around her and sighs. "Bates makes sure I have a good handler."

"For check ins and emergencies. Not for monitoring. If we hadn't been watching tonight, would anyone know about your fight?"

He sighs again. "Probably not, no," he admits. "But it's the job. For now."

"You have to go back tomorrow?"

"Yeah. After today...I just wanted to be home tonight. LAPD won't care if they even notice, which they won't. And if any of the guys from the gym notice, I'll just make something up."

She lifts her head to meet his eyes. "Just tell them you hooked up with some chick and spent the night at her house," she teases.

He chuckles. "Maybe I'll tell them I ran into Tracy?"

She laughs and moves to straddle his hips, careful of any bruises. "Think that'll work?"

He reaches to hold her hair back as he nods. "Definitely. They'd be jealous of Jason. They thought you were hot."

"Well, sorry, but you're going to have to tell Jason that I'm taken."

His eyes flash playfully. "Taken?"

She nods. "I'm married."

He purses his lips and pretends to contemplate his options. "Happily?"

"Very."

He clicks his tongue. "Poor Jason. I guess he's out of luck."

She laughs as she ducks her head down to kiss him.

He draws her close and deepens the kiss.

She runs her fingers through his hair and then down his neck and across his shoulder. Her fingers glance off the forgotten ice pack, and she grasps at it on instinct. He hisses and breaks the kiss when she presses it back to his face.

"Okay, this is not sexy," he complains.

"Sorry," she relents, pulling the icepack away for a moment. "But you do look really bad..."

He closes his hand over hers, giving her permission to press the icepack back to his face. "You always say the nicest things," he jokes.

"It just...it looks like it hurts."

"Just a little," he admits. "You're making it better."

She smirks at his words and pulls the icepack away again. She ducks down and presses a gentle kiss to the bruise on his jaw.

He's smiling when she meets his eyes again. "Now it doesn't hurt at all," he says.

"You're a liar," she teases, "But you're sweet."

"I try." He sits up and she moves to sit beside him on the couch, pressed against his side. He takes over holding onto the icepack and leans into her.

"I'm really glad you came home tonight," she tells him.

"Me, too."

"What's going to happen to your assignment with Zuna dead?"

"Not sure. We'll wait a couple days to see what you guys find with his murder. If you close your case and either my cover is blown or it doesn't seem like continuing is worth it, LAPD will pull me and will move forward with the drug case based on the information we already have."

"So, you'll probably be home soon."

He nods. "Hopefully, yes."

"And then just one or two more," she whispers.

He nods again. "It's almost over, Kens." He sighs and leans his head against hers. "I'm just so ready to be done. I'm so tired of being away."

She turns her head and presses a kiss into his hair. "I'm ready to have you home," she tells him. "But when you're home all the time, there's no more chance for surprise meetings at random gyms," she says lightly, trying to boost his mood.

He chuckles and lifts his head away to meet her eyes. "I love surprise meetings at random gyms," he tells her, momentarily dropping the icepack and reaching to cup her face. "But I think we've had all the surprise meetings at random gyms we need, hmm?"

She smiles and leans in to press her lips to his. "I suppose. Though today was pretty interesting..."

He smiled good naturedly. "I'm glad after all these years we can still surprise each other."

"Me, too, Marty."

* * *

 _ **AN: Hoping everyone is still with me after this chapter. The purpose of Deeks and Sam having that little verbal spar in the boatshed was a 'replacement' for the fight scene in the episode. Moving forward, I needed something to cause some friction between them because that's what happened on the show. Also, the reason for NCIS not sharing the intel had to be an issue because there needed to be a reason for friction between NCIS and LAPD because there needs to be a reason for NCIS to need a liaison... :-)**_


	18. Hand-to-Hand - Part III

_**AN: Finally finished! Wow, this set of chapters (which was NOT supposed to be a set, but a single chapter) turned out to be much longer than I ever anticipated. Thank you all for your patience. While I enjoyed this part, I am looking forward to moving on to what's next. For your interest, just the three Hand-to-hand chapters together add up to 22 921 words.**_

* * *

Episode 1.19 - Hand-to-Hand. Part III.

"What's going to happen to your assignment with Zuna dead?"

"Not sure. We'll wait a couple days to see what you guys find with his murder. If you close your case and either my cover is blown or it doesn't seem like continuing is worth it, LAPD will pull me and will move forward with the drug case based on the information we already have."

"So, you'll probably be home soon."

He nods. "Hopefully, yes."

"And then just one or two more," she whispers.

He nods again. "It's almost over, Kens." He sighs and leans his head against hers. "I'm just so ready to be done. I'm so tired of being away."

She turns her head and presses a kiss into his hair. "I'm ready to have you home," she tells him. "But when you're home all the time, there's no more chance for surprise meetings at random gyms," she says lightly, trying to boost his mood.

He chuckles and lifts his head away to meet her eyes. "I love surprise meetings at random gyms," he tells her, momentarily dropping the icepack and reaching to cup her face. "But I think we've had all the surprise meetings at random gyms we need, hmm?"

She smiles and leans in to press her lips to his. "I suppose. Though today was pretty interesting..."

He smiled good naturedly. "I'm glad after all these years we can still surprise each other."

"Me, too, Marty."

00

He takes his turn kissing her and then playfully nudges her nose with his. "I know it's really late, but I'm starving. Did you want to order something to eat?"

She lights up, knowing what she's about to tell him won't surprise him in the least. "No need. I brought food home with me."

He narrows his eyes. "Food you're willing to share?"

She debates a playful elbow to the side, but in the end offers him a warm smile. "Only with you."

"Wow," he teases, "You must really love me."

She pecks his lips and then stands. "I really do."

She retrieves the takeout bag and her milkshake from the front door and heads for the kitchen. He follows her quietly and retrieves two plates from the cupboard once they reach the kitchen.

"Ooh, Yummy Yummy Burgers," he says appreciatively.

She nods. "Mmm-hmm. I needed comfort food after today."

He watches her unload the very full bag of food. "Was someone also planning to stress eat tonight?"

She mock glares at him. "Does someone want to find himself something else to eat?"

He laughs out loud and hooks an arm around her waist. "No, someone is very appreciative that his wife has a tendency to order so much food and is willing to share." He pauses and smirks at her. "He's also amazed every day she can physically eat this much and not explode."

She makes a face at the sheer amount of junk food. "Yeah, okay, I may have overestimated this time."

They sit together at the table with burgers and fries. They share the rest of her milkshake and each have a bottle of water. He tells her about his assignment and she tells him what her team has uncovered in Zuna's murder investigation so far.

"We're going to go question Davis first thing in the morning," she tells Deeks.

"So, in all likelihood, Zuna went after Davis for revenge for getting the other marines killed, only Davis killed him first."

She nods. "That seems to be our best theory so far."

"If it doesn't pan out, don't discount the guys at the gym," Deeks says. "They were arguing last night. I think I heard Zuna's name."

"Arguing about what?"

"I couldn't tell. It was happening during and after my fight. Janklow and Mangold were arguing. And then after, they disappeared into Janklow's office and I think Mangold hit Janklow. I've never seen them like this in the months I've been there. So, something's going on."

"I'll keep that in mind." She smiles at him. "Thanks."

When they're finished eating, they clean up the dishes together and head for bed. Deeks had showered at the gym after his fight, so Kensi leaves him in the bedroom to duck into the bathroom for a quick shower to wash off the day of stress.

When she returns to the bedroom, wrapped in a towel, her husband is standing in the centre of the room, clad in boxers and a tee shirt. He looks a little tentative and a little confused.

"What's wrong?" She asks in response to his confused expression.

"Did you...clean?" He asks.

"Uh...not more than usual." Despite their jokes, she does keep the apartment in a basic level of cleanliness when he's not home.

He raises his hand and makes a few gestures like he's almost snapping his fingers. "I feel like it's more organized than when I left... Less cluttered."

She winces. "Yeah, about that... I took a bunch of our stuff to my mom's."

He raises an eyebrow. "Oh-kay..."

"There have been break ins in the building," she explains. "I couldn't stand the thought of burglars stealing our things."

He cocks his head and shoots her a sympathetic expression. "Oh, Kens."

"I just took away the things I knew we couldn't replace."

He steps forward and wraps his arms around her.

She pressed her nose into the crook of his neck and sighs against his collar bone. "I missed you. And Monty. And I wanted our things. But I couldn't sleep at night knowing I could lose the only things I had left of you."

He tightens his hold on her. "You're the most important thing in the world to me, Kensi," he tells her. "You're the only thing I can't live without."

She nods against him, but finds herself a little overcome and struggles to respond.

"Well, you _and_ Monty," he teases, knowing she needs him to lighten the mood.

She laughs. "You're the most important thing in the world to me, too, Marty," she echoes his sentiment. She lifts her head to meet his eyes. "But I really like the life we've been building together. I want us to keep building on what we already have."

He leans in the kiss her softly. "We will. I'm glad our things are safe."

"I'm really glad you're home tonight."

He kisses her again and tugs at the edge of the towel still wrapped around her body. "Me, too."

She smirks up at him. "I'm also really liking these arms. Did I mention that?" She asks, raising her hands to run up and down his biceps. The movement makes her towel drop, and she does nothing to stop it.

Deeks seems momentarily distracted between her compliment and suddenly bare body. "Uh..."

She runs her hands across his shoulders and down his chest. "And this chest. I also really like this chest."

He swallows hard. "You didn't mention that," he says. "But I did catch Tracy staring earlier..."

She rolls her eyes and swats playfully at him before reaching for the hem of his tee shirt. He quickly helps her pull it over his head. She runs her hands up his newly defined chest, over his clavicles, up his neck and cups his jaw. "And this face. I really love this face."

"The face isn't any different," he whispers.

"I know," she says simply, before tugging his lips down to her level and kissing him.

00

The next morning, Kensi says a thorough goodbye to her husband before they go their separate ways, not knowing if she'll see him again before he's released from his undercover assignment. She heads into work to meet in OPs as was agreed upon the night before.

Eric had left several programs running over night, which had located Davis, Zuna's commanding officer, in photos of Zuna's crime scene.

"It's looking more and more like he's our guy," Callen says.

"We all going to pick him up?" Sam asks.

Callen considers and then shakes his head. "I'll take Kensi to pick him up," he says with a nod to Kensi. "You've already spoken to him. That could help once we have him in custody. I don't want you to be part of the arrest if we need him to co-operate later.

Kensi leaves with Callen and the two drive to Davis's house. It turns out to be a rather large house on a nice street. They park down the street and begin the walk towards the house.

"Nice house for a twenty-eight year old former marine lieutenant," Kensi comments.

"Daddy's money or something else?" Callen ponders.

"Our drug connection maybe?" Kensi suggests.

Before they can even get near the house, they both react to the sound of sirens coming down the street. A police car rounds the corner coming towards them, followed by another.

LAPD officers and at least one plain clothed detective get out and hurry to surround the house.

With a glance towards each other, Kensi and Callen hurry towards the scene. They announce themselves and show their badges. The officers are localizing around the front porch of the house, pointing down at something they can't see as they are rounding the driveway.

"Do you think Mangold beat us here?" Callen asks. "Took Davis out as payback for getting their friends killed in Iraq?"

"Maybe," Kensi says.

They reach the top of the driveway, but the dead body does not belong to Davis. Kensi immediately recognizes the marine who gave her his phone number the previous morning.

"That's Craig Mangold," she says.

True to their word that they would co-operate with LAPD, they provide the officers on site with as much information as they have to give, but because Mangold is an active marine, this murder also falls within NCIS jurisdiction.

Once they have retreated down the driveway, Callen calls into OPs to update Eric. He tells him to find Davis before hanging up.

"Okay," he says to Kensi once off the phone. "Let's start from the beginning."

Kensi nods. "Davis was the commanding officer in Iraq. He ordered Zuna down the wrong street and into an ambush. Two marines were killed."

"When Sam talked to Davis, he blamed Zuna for the error. We're operating under the assumption that Zuna came after him for getting his buddies killed. Possibly for blaming him. But Davis killed him first."

"Wouldn't be hard. Davis knew about his drug problem. Would have been easy for him to introduce the heparin."

"And now we're operating under the assumption that Mangold also went after Davis. Also for revenge for his buddies dying. Possibly for killing Zuna."

"Davis found him at his house. Killed Mangold before Mangold could kill him," she suggested.

Callen shrugs. "Still seems reasonable. Just wish we could talk to Davis."

A red sedan appears, hurrying down the road towards them. Kensi pretends not to recognize the LAPD issued vehicle her husband uses on a regular basis when he's home from assignment. She waits until he gets out of the car before saying, "Looks like word travels fast."

Deeks spots her and quickly heads for her and Callen, bringing them face to face for the second time in a little more than an hour.

"Chief of Detectives called me the moment you ID'd Mangold's body. How's it laying out?"

"Our theory is Zuna and Mangold both blamed Davis for getting their friends killed in Iraq," Callen says.

Deeks nods along. "So, Mangold's upset over Zuna's murder, right? Thinks Davis killed him?"

"And when Mangold got here, Davis spotted him and killed him first."

"Plausible, I guess," Deeks said, thought he frowns slightly.

"What's the matter?" Kensi asks quietly as Callen gets distracted by his cell phone ringing.

Deeks shrugs. "These guys aren't exactly high speed."

Before she can respond, Callen hangs up his phone and turns in a hurry.

"Davis is here," he says, drawing his gun.

Kensi follows his lead. And beside her, for the first time in the field together, her husband draws his gun alongside her. They flank Callen in time for a convertible to come around the corner, driven by Davis.

Davis is either genuinely confused or a very good actor, because he is easily taken into custody by Callen, stating he has no idea what is going on.

Kensi puts her safety on and then returns her gun to the waistband of her jeans. She smiles as her husband does the same. With Callen out of earshot with their suspect, she sidles a little closer and shoots her husband a warm smile. "You know, all the stress of this case may just be worth it for one chance to do that beside you."

"It was pretty cool, huh?"

00

 _Kensi forced herself to keep a straight face as she pretended to listen intently to the mini-lesson being given by their shooting instructor. With her father being a sniper, she had grown up knowing how to shoot, and could probably shoot better than the instructor. She visited a local range regularly through college to keep her skills up, knowing she wanted to apply to NCIS eventually. But Deeks had never gone with her. With his history, he wanted nothing to do with guns. He always supported her and didn't want her to feel like she had to hide where she was going. He just didn't want to share that part of her life._

 _But now that she was done school and applying to NCIS was happening, he had surprised her by saying he wanted to go to a shooting range with her for the first time. She had asked around and then chosen a different range than usual. This one was much more for the weekend warrior who just wanted to try out something new, rather than her normal spot which was far too serious for a first -_ second _\- timer like him. It also had ringed targets instead of human outlines, which she was pretty sure would be better for him to start with, especially considering his first and only experience with guns._

 _"Okay, do we all understand?" Their instructor asked. He was a former marine, she had deduced the moment she met him, buzz cut and everything. Almost six and a half feet tall. But his easy tone made up for his imposing figure. "The most important thing is always keeping the gun pointed down range," he reminded for the umpteenth time._

 _Deeks nodded, having taken the whole thing rather seriously._

 _Kensi touched his forearm, making sure he was okay, while she nodded along._

 _"Are we going with ladies first?" The instructor suggested._

 _Kensi and Deeks glanced at each other, both knowing this activity was much more for him than her._

 _She nodded to him, letting him make the decision._

 _"Why don't I go first," he said, before shooting her an easy grin. "Give me a chance to look good before you blow me out of the water."_

 _She rolled her eyes, but didn't argue._

 _Their instructor gave them both questioning looks._

 _"Dude, no offense, because I'm sure you're a great shot," Deeks told him, "But I'm willing to bet she can best you and anyone here."_

 _"Marty..." She mumbled, feeling her cheeks heat at his praise._

 _He hooked an arm around her waist and pressed a kiss to the side of her head. "My wife, here, was raised by a sniper," he told the instructor proudly. "She could shoot a hair off a flea."_

 _Kensi laughed at that. "That is not a saying."_

 _He laughed, too. "Well, it should be."_

 _The instructor smiled. "Okay, we'll start with you." He expertly passed Deeks the gun and reminded him of basic shooting principles._

 _Kensi stood back, ear protection in place and arms crossed over her chest, as her husband stared down at the gun for a long moment, an indecipherable expression on his face. And then he looked up to the target and carefully lifted his hands. He took aim, took a breath, and then fired._

 _To Kensi's surprise, the bullet hit the target on his first try. And his second try. And his third. By the time he emptied the clip, he had only missed once. And one bullet was close to the centre._

 _"Marty," she said when he had set down the gun and removed his ear protection, "That was amazing."_

 _"Very impressive," their instructor added. "Are you sure this is your first time handling a gun?"_

 _Deeks's expression clouded for a moment before returning. "Technically, it's my second. But I was just a kid the first time."_

 _Kensi stepped forward and hugged him, despite where they were, wanting this second experience to be a good one._

 _"I think I'm done for today," he admitted._

 _"That's okay," she said quickly. "Do you want to leave?"_

 _"No," he said back just as quickly. "I want to watch you shoot."_

 _She met his eyes and saw how much enthusiasm he had. It made her smile. "Okay."_

 _She picked up the gun and replaced the clip. She made sure everyone had replaced their ear protection before shooting at her own target._

 _More hit the ten ring than didn't._

 _Deeks whistled proudly the moment she could hear him. "That's my wife."_

00

Kensi and Callen take Davis to the boatshed and settle him in the interrogation room. They leave him there to stew and meet with Sam and Nate outside the room.

"He's acting like he doesn't even know why we arrested him," Kensi says, frustrated with the case.

Callen nods. "He keeps repeating that he had nothing to do with Zuna's death. And he hasn't even mentioned Mangold."

"Want me to talk with him?" Nate asks.

"Maybe," Callen says. He stares at the video feed of Davis for a long moment. "What we need is more on him." He turns to Sam. "Why don't you head to the gym and question the guys who are left? With two of their buddies dead, they're bound to know or say something."

"What about Detective Deeks?" Kensi asks.

"We don't want to blow his cover by getting him to ask them questions. With two of their buddies dead, it wouldn't be suspicious for NCIS to show up and ask some questions. Sam, make sure to question Deeks, too."

Sam nods and leaves the boatshed.

Callen heads back into the interrogation room to speak with Davis.

Kensi sighs and sits at the table. Nate sits across from her.

"He'll be okay," Nate tells her. "Sam won't blow his cover."

"I know." She stares at him for a moment. "Honestly, I'm just ready for this case to be over and Marty to be home."

"I understand." He smiles.

She smiles back. "I'm glad you know, Nate."

"I'm glad you told me."

On the video feed, they watch Davis tell Callen both Zuna and Mangold had recently contacted him asking to meet. He tells Callen he didn't know what they wanted and didn't care.

Callen accuses him of killing Zuna.

He denies being involved in Zuna's death.

Callen accuses him of killing Mangold.

Davis surprises them all when he's shocked to hear Mangold is dead.

Callen explains Mangold's body was found at Davis's house.

Davis shuts down and doesn't want to talk any more. He only says he didn't kill anyone.

Callen points out that NCIS knows Davis lied about what happened in Fallujah.

Davis breaks down and admits to making mistakes in Fallujah. He admits to making Zuna turn down the wrong street. He admits to getting his men stuck in an ambush. He admits to being responsible for the death of two marines in Iraq.

He goes on to say he was grateful when he got shot by that sniper a week after the ambush. He had thought his men would have killed him if he had stayed.

Callen leaves the room and joins Kensi and Nate.

"That was a pretty big admission that he thought he was going to get fragged by his own men," Kensi offers.

Callen nods. "This just isn't feeling right. Nate, what do you think?"

"Well, when you told him Mangold was dead, his reaction appeared to be totally honest. His brow never furrowed. He never looked away." He pauses for a moment. "And when he talked about his fears of being killed by his own men, it not only felt genuine, but it seemed like it was the first time he'd ever admitted it. To anyone. Even himself."

"So, Davis definitely made a mistake in Iraq," Callen says.

"Which ended up in an ambush and two marines dead," Kensi adds.

"We were assuming the remaining marines held grudges and went after him, only he killed them first. Zuna and then Mangold."

"From what I've seen, he's still carrying the weight of those two dead marines around," Nate offers. "I'm not sure if he's capable of taking two more lives."

"His men called him the widow maker," Kensi says. "And he was afraid they were going to kill him."

Callen meets her eyes before nodding. "And he was shot a week after the ambush. By a sniper. While on patrol."

She nods. "Right there with you."

He calls into OPs. "Eric, can you pull up Davis's service records?" He pauses. "Good. We're on our way back."

Kensi goes with Callen back to OPs, leaving Nate at the boatshed with Davis.

Eric has all of the service records available by the time they get back to OPs.

"Eric, who was on patrol with Davis when he got shot?" Callen asks.

Eric brings up the report. "Zuna, Mangold, Johnson and Shabazz."

"Not Janklow?"

"No." He brings up Janklow's record. "He wasn't injured in the ambush, so he was still in Fallujah when Davis was wounded. He lost his eye a couple months later and retired from the marine corps."

"So, maybe we have this all wrong," Callen says. "Davis made a mistake and got the marines killed in Iraq. Janklow took it upon himself to take him out. Maybe he planned to kill him, maybe only wound him. Either way, he shot Davis and Davis was sent home. No longer a threat to his platoon. Then somehow the rest of the guys find out about it recently. Zuna and Mangold take issue with it, try to reach out to Davis. Janklow kills them."

"Detective Deeks said Mangold and Janklow were arguing last night," Kensi adds. "It was during and right after his fight, so he couldn't be sure what it was about. He thought he heard Zuna's name. And he was pretty sure Mangold hit Janklow."

Callen sighs. "I have to warn Sam." He quickly pulls out his phone and dials his partner.

"Sam, the ambush in Fallujah was Davis's fault. We think Janklow shot him in Iraq and Zuna and Mangold found out. Janklow killed them. Get out now." He listens for a moment, but them hangs up his phone and swears.

"Lost the connection. Eric pull up the video feed from the gym."

Eric does so, and they all look to the big screen to see Sam standing in the middle of the gym. Janklow is standing before him. Shabazz is to Janklow's right. Johnson is to Janklow's left, but further away, near the stairs, standing guard.

Sam has his hands raised near his chest. Shabazz is holding something that looks suspiciously like Sam's weapon.

"There's no way we can get there in time," Callen mutters.

Kensi is already calling out on her phone. Deeks picks up on the second ring. "What's up, buttercup?" He answers with a laugh.

"We need your help. Are you at the gym?"

He is immediately serious. "Very close."

"Janklow is our murderer. Janklow, Shabazz and Johnson have Sam cornered in the gym right now. We can't get there in time to help."

"I'm on it," Deeks says. "Call back up for me." He hangs up.

"Detective Deeks is there," Kensi says. "Eric, can you call for LAPD backup?"

Eric nods. "Doing it now."

They watch as Sam, keeping his hands up, takes a couple steps back, clearly trying to talk down the three men while also trying to find a tactical advantage. He knows that Callen, at least, knows where he is and the situation he's in, so he knows to expect some sort of help.

Janklow is clearly the leader of the increasingly smaller group. Shabazz and Johnson are more than capable fighters, but they are looking to Janklow for orders. In a fight, Sam may be able to take the two closest to him - Janklow and Shabazz - but won't risk anything with Shabazz holding his service weapon.

All of a sudden, Deeks appears in the corner of the screen, holding something up in his hand. For a moment, the attention of all three bad guys turn to him.

They watch on the screen as Sam uses the distraction to move to his left. He takes down Shabazz first, securing his weapon.

Deeks easily takes down Johnson.

Janklow makes a move towards Sam, but comes face to face with Sam's sig. He may be a murderer, but he's not stupid. He surrenders and collapses to his knees with his hands up.

The team in OPs share a collective sigh of relief as the three bad guys are handcuffed, and Sam and Deeks share a somewhat companionable fist bump.

It's almost three hours later that Kensi's phone rings. She glances at the caller ID and smiles at the familiar number.

"Hey, stranger," she says as she ducks into an empty office.

"Hey, you," Deeks greets. He sounds tired, but happy.

"You're calling from your number." After their cases had crossed, he had given her his undercover cell number 'for the case' but now that he was calling from his own number, she was pretty sure that could only mean one thing.

"I am," he confirms.

"Your case is done?"

He laughs. "Well, seeing as two of my suspects are dead and three are in NCIS custody, I'd be undercover by myself..."

She laughs, too, but covers her face. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's not your fault. And it's not NCIS's fault. Apparently before I showed up, Janklow admitted to Sam some stuff about the drug distribution that will add to my case. Also, apparently NCIS has agreed to deal a little bit with the guys for information on the suppliers."

"That's really good, Marty."

"And the best news is I get to come home tonight."

"As opposed to last night when you weren't home," she says sarcastically.

He chuckles. "You know what I mean."

"Hell of an end, though."

"Hell of an end," he agrees.

"I'm glad you're coming home."

"Me, too." He sighs. "I have another hour here. Then I'm done."

"I'm probably about the same. Want to meet at home or grab a bite to eat?"

"I could use a drink after the last couple days," he says.

"Oh, a drink sounds amazing."

They make arrangements on where to meet and say goodbye.

When she makes her way back into the hallway, it's quiet. Many of the support staff have left for the day. When she reaches the desk area, Sam has returned from the gym and is sitting with Callen.

Kensi stops in the shadows at the edge of the room when she hears the sound of her husband's name.

"...which is right about the time Deeks showed up to save your butt at the gym," Callen tells Sam.

"Yeah, that's exactly how it happened," Sam says dryly.

"He's not a bad operator; Deeks." Callen comments, making Kensi smile.

"He's alright," Sam relents.

When nothing more is said, Kensi steps forward, making herself known. "Welcome back," she says to Sam.

Sam nods to her. "Thanks."

She smirks. "Though Callen and I could have used some help today."

"What?"

Callen laughs.

"Callen and I have done all the heavy lifting on this case. Especially today."

"What about today at the gym?" Sam asks, acting incredulous, knowing she's joking with him.

"Pretty sure it was Deeks doing the heavy lifting there, partner," Callen pipes up.

Sam huffs in good nature. "What did I do to deserve the two of you?"

Kensi and Callen look to each other for a moment before smiling.

"Something awesome," Kensi answers for the both of them.

00

When Kensi arrives, her husband is already seated about halfway down the bar. He's nursing a scotch, but he looks up the moment she steps in the door, and smiles.

"Hi," she says when she gets closer to him.

"Hi," he echoes, standing to hug her. "God, I missed you."

She laughs, but makes no move to let him go. "You just saw me this morning. Twice."

"And four times yesterday," he adds. He presses a kiss to her head before releasing her.

She settles herself into the seat beside his. The bartender is busy with a couple at the end of the bar, so she focuses on his drink of choice. "You hate scotch."

He makes a face. "I kind of do." He runs a hand through his hair. "But it seemed...fitting? Shitty end to a shitty case and all. Plus, the chief of police yelled at me for letting a certain federal agency muscle in on my case. Like that had anything to do with me."

She leans into his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

He leans his head against hers. "I don't blame you. I know you guys were doing your jobs. And it wasn't your fault our cases crossed."

"At least we closed both cases," she says.

"There is that." He reaches for her hand. "We make a pretty good team, huh?"

She squeezes his hand. "The best team."

They sit up straight when the bartender arrives in front of them. "Sorry about the wait. What'll you have to drink?"

They both order beers.

Kensi reaches for Deeks's scotch and takes a small sip. Then she makes a face. "That really is awful."

"Right?"

She laughs. "If you agree, then why do you order it?"

"I don't know. The other cops do sometimes and they like it." He shrugs. "It seems like something I should like."

Kensi leans into him again as he takes another sip, and can't completely bite back another laugh as he makes a face. She reaches for her beer and holds it up, waiting him for him to do the same.

He follows suit, holding up his beer and clinks it against hers.

"To our case together," she say.

"Cheers."

They each take a sip and then put down their drinks. She leans in and smiles before he kisses her.

"Are you off tomorrow?" He asks. Tomorrow is Saturday, but he knows with their case ending the way it did there's a chance she's been asked to work.

"Yup."

He smiles. "How about we pick up Monty from your mom's and spend the morning at the beach?"

"Sounds perfect. And we can pick up some of our things."

He frowns. "Right..."

"We just need something more secure at home. So, we can leave most of it, but I want my rings." She closes her right hand over her left, her fingers finding her bare left ring finger.

He hooks an arm around her. "Me, too."

"Sam said once that he has a GSA class 6 safe drilled to the floor of his den where he keeps his things."

"What's GSA class 6?"

"Military grade," she says nonchalantly.

He laughs. "First of all, what the hell is he keeping in there? And second, not sure we'd get our security deposit back if we drilled a hole in our floor."

She ignores his first comment. "No, probably not. But we could get...something. Keep it locked."

"We shouldn't have to lock things up in our own home," he tells her.

She sighs. "I don't want to worry about our things."

"Maybe it's time for us to move?"

She sits up at that and turns to meet his eyes.

He offers her a lopsided grin and a shrug. "We may not be ready for the dream house yet, but we've been saving for years. We have enough for a down payment on a starter house. We could find something small, but bigger than the apartment. With a little yard for Monty. Install a kick ass security system."

"A house," she echoes.

He nods. "A house."

"I love that idea." She can't help the beaming smile at the thought of buying their first home together. They're counting down the time until he's home full time. And they've outgrown the apartment.

He leans in to kiss her. "Let's look online this weekend."

She nods. "We need to find a realtor. And meet with the bank; see how much we can afford. And give notice on our apartment. And pack. And-"

He cuts her off by kissing her again. "We'll do all that," he promises.

"Sorry. I'm just excited."

"I'm glad you're excited."

She smiles widely at him for a moment, imaging their life now. He'll be home all the time. They'll spend most every night together, eat breakfast together, each go to work, return in the evening and share dinner. She'll be free to talk a little more about her days now that he's met her team. They'll walk Monty in the evenings and spend their weekends on the beach or hiking or going to games or-

Her smile falters when she remembers he's not home for good yet.

He cocks his head. "What's wrong?"

She reaches for his hand and threads their fingers together. "Got a little ahead of myself for a moment," she admits. "Do you, uh, know how long you're home this time?" She asks quietly.

He squeezes her hand. "My next case is really important," he tells her. "Remember Jess Traynor?"

She nods. She'd met the Detective a few times at LAPD functions with Deeks.

"It's her case. Human trafficking. Still waiting for all the pieces to fall into place, though," he tells her. "So, could be soon, or it could be a little while. Though, there probably won't be a lot of warning once I get the go ahead."

"And then maybe one more."

He nods. "And then it's over."

She puts on a brave face. "Still no regrets?"

He shakes his head and she doesn't see a hint of regret in his expression. "No regrets," he confirms. "Not with you to come home to."

"That was very sappy."

He tugs on her hand and when she's closer, presses a kiss to her lips. "What can I say? You bring it out in me."

Kensi laughs. "Love you, too, _honey."_

He laughs, too. " _Honey_. I like it," he says sarcastically. "I don't think you've ever called me that before."

"Give me a break," she says, still laughing a bit. "The guys were calling you _Deeks_ all yesterday and today. It was weird."

"It is my name," he points out.

"It's my name, too," she counters.

"But they don't know that."

"Exactly." She huffs. "I had to keep referring to you as _Detective Deeks_."

He laughs again. "Well, _honey_ , at least it's over."

"I'm afraid it's not over quite yet, Detective Deeks," a third voice sounds from Deeks's right.

Deeks turns away from Kensi to greet the new party in the conversation, "Um, hi?" He says, clearly thrown off by the sudden appearance of the short, brown haired woman in the trench coat, who clearly knows who he is.

Kensi stands and moves to Deeks's right side as he continues to turn.

"Marty, this is Hetty," she tells him. "My boss."

"Of course," he says, also standing. "The great and powerful Hetty." He frowns slightly as he searches his memory, but comes up dry. "Who doesn't have a last name..."

Hetty cracks a hint of a smile. "It's Lange."

Deeks nods and holds out his hand. "It's nice to meet you, Ms. Lange."

She shakes his hand. "You, too, Mr. Deeks. But it's Miss. And I prefer Hetty."

Deeks glances at Kensi for confirmation. She nods and he turns back to Hetty.

"Can we get you anything, Hetty?" He motions towards the bartender.

She shakes her head. "I've already had tea, thank you."

"Alright."

Hetty takes a moment to take in the sight of the two of them standing together and then nods. "I don't want to take away too much of your time together, but I was hoping for just a few minutes?"

Kensi nods. "Is everything okay?"

Hetty nods. "I believe it will be just fine."

"What do you need, Hetty?" She asks.

"Maybe we could move to a booth?" Hetty suggests. "Just for a few minutes."

Kensi motions to Deeks. "You and I, or-"

"The three of us," Hetty confirms.

Kensi and Deeks exchange a confused look as they follow Hetty towards a booth in the corner. They sit beside each other opposite Hetty.

"I'm glad to finally have cause to meet you, Mr. Deeks," Hetty begins once they're all settled.

"You, too," he responds with a smile.

She smiles at the comment, but doesn't otherwise respond to it. "I have, of course, been impressed with your wife's abilities for several years now."

Kensi feels her cheeks heat when her husband hooks his arm around her waist.

"Well, who wouldn't be impressed?" He states as more of a comment than a question. "She's amazing."

"And I was impressed with both of your conduct yesterday and today. Not only solving your cases, but maintaining your secret." She pauses for a moment. "Mr. Callen and Mr. Hanna are highly skilled operators. Kensi hiding a marriage one sided from them is one thing. But for the two of you to be in a room together and for them not to be aware of anything between the two of you is another."

Kensi nods her appreciation at her boss's words.

"Thanks?" Deeks says uncertainly.

"Now," Hetty says, moving forward and setting a file folder down on the table. "That being said, I imagine you're still smarting from where the chief of police just ripped you a new one."

Deeks laughed out loud at the unexpected comment before cutting himself off. "I wouldn't quite put it that way, but yeah, maybe I- Wait. How did you know about that?"

"Because I just experienced something similar from my director," she tells him. "You were right in the boatshed, Mr. Deeks," she tells him. "NCIS withheld information to our own detriment. Had we shared with the LAPD what we knew about Mr. Zuna's death when we knew it, you would have been informed much sooner. And maybe you would have had more information sooner. Who knows? Maybe it would have prevented the death of Mr. Mangold." She gives that a moment to sink in. "It seems we need to co-ordinate our operations and investigations a little better."

Deeks nods along.

Kensi feels her brow furrow as she realizes she's suddenly before an observer to this conversation.

Hetty continues. "My boss wants to assign a liaison officer from LAPD and your boss thinks it's a good idea."

Kensi feels her breath catch as she realizes all at once where Hetty is going with this whole conversation.

Deeks chuffs a laugh. "You guys don't need a liaison officer."

"I agree. I told him we already have one," she says seriously, meeting Deeks's eyes.

Deeks stares back at her for a long moment, barely moving, even as she slowly slides the folder across the table towards him. When the folder nudges the hand he has been resting on the table, he lifts it and then sits up straight.

"You're saying..." He trails off and clears his throat. "Yup, that's what you're saying." He glances at Kensi and then down to the folder. He carefully opens it.

Kensi stares down with him. Inside the folder is a photo of her husband. And all the forms have been filled out already. His name, history, background, education, address, birthday, everything. It's all there. Including her information as his spouse.

"Wow, this is really...thorough," he stammers slightly, clearly still reeling from the job offer.

Hetty pushes a pen across the table to him. "No need to date it."

Deeks stares at the pen, but makes no move to pick it up. He turns his head to look at Kensi again. He lifts an eyebrow. _What do you think_?

Kensi looks to Hetty. "It would be okay if we work together?"

Hetty nods. "I believe so. If you prove unable to do so, I will have to rethink the arrangement, but from my observations, I do not foresee a problem."

"What would you have me doing exactly?" Deeks asks.

"You would work cases with us when you are not needed by the LAPD," Hetty answers. "You would work on site and in the field with the team. You would liaise between NCIS and LAPD during cases, make sure both organizations are up to speed on everything that is happening, but also know which information needs to be shared and not to be shared."

He nods thoughtfully.

Kensi glances at him with a soft smile. It sounds like a really good fit for him. And she knows he knows that.

"I was hoping this would be a good fit now that you've decided to give up your undercover career," Hetty says.

Deeks nods. He takes a deep breath and slowly releases it, calming himself. He looks to Kensi again. She meets his eyes.

He raises an eyebrow. _So_?

She offers the hint of a smile. _Sounds pretty good._

"I'm not trying to put you on the spot, Mr. Deeks," Hetty says. "I can offer you time to think about it."

"No, I don't think I need time," he says, offering Hetty a warm smile. He reaches for the pen. Then he turns to Kensi one more time. "Good?"

She nods. "Good."

He takes another calming breath before signing the document.

Kensi feels a combination of pride and happiness, and a little bit of relief, well inside of her. Because even though he still has to go back undercover at least one more time, they know what he'll be doing next. And it looks like they'll be working together a lot. And they're going to be buying a house. And he'll be _home_.

A lot to look forward to.

"Welcome aboard, Mr. Deeks," Hetty says. "I'll see you Monday."

"Thank you," he says. He stands and offers her his hand.

She shakes his hand with a firm nod. "Thank _you_ , Mr. Deeks. Have a good weekend." She nods to Kensi. "You, too, Mrs. Deeks." She quickly packs up the documents and says goodbye, before leaving them alone in the bar.

"I kind of can't believe that just happened," Deeks says.

She leans into him. "Looks like we're going to be working together again," she says, recalling the excitement of drawing their weapons together earlier that day.

"Looks like," he agrees. He chuckles and wraps an arm around her waist. He presses a kiss to her temple. "Good thing you told your boss I was giving up undercover work."

Kensi's smile falters. "I...never told her."

"Then how does she know?"

"I...I mean, she knows everything. But this..."

He pulls back far enough to meet her eyes. "She said she hoped this would be a good fit now that I decided to give up my undercover career."

"You're right. That didn't sound like a decision she came to today..."

He shakes his head. "You can't be thinking what I think you're thinking..."

She closes her eyes as she remembers something else. "Yesterday. Right before I left to meet you and Bates at the boatshed. She told me to _go meet with my team. And Bates_. When I pointed out she'd missed you, she was...weird. Like she didn't leave you out by mistake."

He releases a slow breath. "So, you are thinking what I think you're thinking..."

"I think so."

* * *

 _ **Why did I choose to keep the marriage a secret from the rest of the team?**_

 _First of all, I read, considered and appreciated EVERY comment, PM and review to this subject. Opinions varied and sometimes changed as we came closer the Hand-to-hand chapters. Running the numbers, there were more readers who wanted to see the marriage kept secret past these chapters. That being said, that was not the only deciding factor._

 _I tried to put it into the chapter a little - Kensi (and now Deeks) deserve the chance to divulge their secret on their own terms. I decided to write the chapter(s) and let the story come, and if the secret came out as a result, then so be it. But in the end, I found I had a really strong feeling with Kensi that she deserves to make her own choices. She CHOSE to tell Dom. She CHOSE to tell Nate. I don't think she should be forced into telling the rest of the team (for the sake of this story and right now)._

 _Lastly, to put it simply, once everyone knows, everyone knows. There's a lot of opportunity to have some fun with the characters. A few people left reviews or PM'd me worried it would become too much of a comedy. I have no intention of that. But I have some ideas for more subtle humour - like the comments Kensi has already been making to her team. (example: "I've never dated a lawyer")._

 _I want to thank everyone who has stuck with the story this long. I always say - I will continue for as long as it is fun for me to write and you to read. I'm not certain at this point how long I will keep the secret from the rest of the team, but I tend to let my characters drive my stories. So, if they're telling me it's time, it's time. Honestly, I don't foresee the secret being kept for a hugely long period of time._

 _ **Finally - I have this idea (and it's been suggested as well) of writing one shots of the team finding out about the marriage during certain choice 'episodes' where in this story they don't find out. (For example, I could write a one shot in this 'universe' where the team does find out about them during Hand-to-hand). If there's enough interest I may actually do this. (And once the team finds out, the idea can be reversed, I guess, where they're still keeping the secret). Is there interest in this?**_

 _ **Thanks for reading! (both the story and my ridiculously long AN...)**_


	19. Fame - Part I

_**AN: Sorry for the wait. It quickly became apparent this chapter would need to be split into two parts, but I couldn't actually do that until I had the chapter practically all written. I'm almost finished both parts, and the total word count is well over 12k so far. It's also written from Deeks's POV, which I haven't had much chance to do so far, so it's been a little slower going.**_

 _ **Anyway... the bad news is there was a bit of a delay to post this part. But the good news is part II is just about finished and then just needs to been proofed and polished, so it should be posted much sooner.**_

 _ **This story is definitely growing faster than I expected. Looks like I'm going to hit the 100k mark before I finish 'season 1'... Just wanted to say thank you to everyone reading and reviewing! I read and appreciate each and every wonderful comment. They keep motivated to work on this story every day.**_

* * *

Episode 1.20 - Fame. Part I.

Following a brief phone call with Hetty the previous evening, Deeks drives to NCIS in his own vehicle for his first day. It had been suggested that if he was going to spend some time working with the close knit team, then he and Kensi should prove their ability to work together before disclosing their marriage. He isn't sure how long that will be, but he trusts his wife and therefore trusts the woman she looks up to.

He parks and slowly gets out of his car. If it wasn't for the sight of his wife's car parked twenty feet away, he would think he has the wrong location. The building before him appears run down and abandoned. Not to mention the condemned signs posted on the doors, warning any and all who dare enter of the dangers.

He scratches at the scruff on his cheek as he stares down the door. Kensi had warned him it wouldn't be what he expected, but she hadn't given him many details. She had laughed when she told him she wanted him to be surprised.

Well, he certainly is surprised.

He takes a deep breath and then slowly releases it. Then he moves forward. The door opens easily and he steps inside. Despite the relative warmth of the morning, the air inside the building is pleasantly crisp and cool.

It is still early. Hetty had wanted him in before the majority of the team for a tour of the office. He and Kensi had staggered when they left the house by a few minutes, with her leaving first, so if anyone did beat them in, they wouldn't be caught arriving at the same time on his first day.

He slowly but determinedly makes his way down the corridor, which leads him to a large, open space. He makes note of the desk area, the office off in the corner, the racks of clothing... so many things. His gaze travels up to the second level and he turns around, taking in the entire room.

When he completes his revolution, he is only a little taken aback to find his new sort-of boss standing in front of him.

"Hetty," he greets.

"Mr. Deeks," she offers him a smile. "Good morning. Glad to see you found the place."

He nods. "I did. Though Kensi was right. It's not what I expected."

"In our line of work, we never want to be what someone else expects us to be."

"Unless, of course, we're undercover," he says wryly. "Then we want to be exactly who they expect us to be..."

Hetty smiles again. "I think you'll fit in well here in time, Mr. Deeks."

"I hope so."

She motions for him to follow her and walks towards the desk area. There are four desks in pairs, facing each other.

He doesn't need the name plate to know which desk belongs to his wife. It's cluttered in knickknacks and figurines and, of course, food, right up to the line which separates it from the next desk, which is practically spotless.

He glances at the nameplate. _G. Callen._

Across from Kensi's desk is Sam's desk. It's clean and squared away. To Deek's surprise, though, he notices a handful of tiny origami birds.

Next to Sam's desk, behind the nameplate reading _Dominic Vail_ there are no files, no computer and no hint of recent use, but there is a green alien bobble head sitting in the middle of the otherwise empty desk.

"You may use this desk while you are working with us," Hetty says.

"This is Dom's desk," he states.

"Yes," she says with a sigh at the thought of her still missing agent. "But I assure you he won't mind."

Deeks nods and sets his bag down beside the chair.

"Now, come, let's start upstairs."

He follows her up a very detailed and ornate staircase and through automatically opening doors into what has to be the most advanced room he's ever set foot in before.

There is a blond man with glasses typing away on a computer across the room. To his left, there is a large touch screen. The far side of the room has several additional computer terminals. And in the middle is a flat console of some sort.

He whistles his admiration.

"This is our operations centre," Hetty tells him as the man in the glasses turns on his chair. He's wearing a plaid button down open over a grey tee shirt, shorts and sandals. "And this is Eric, who, despite his unfortunate wardrobe choices, basically runs things up here. He monitors all of our operations. His skills and effort are invaluable to the work we do," she says.

Eric smiles at the compliment.

"Again, despite his unfortunate wardrobe choices."

Eric's smile falters.

Deeks bites back a laugh. "Nice to meet you."

Eric's gaze flicks uncertainly between Deeks and Hetty. Deeks hadn't met the technical operator during the previous case, but recognizes his name. And from the look on Eric's face, he clearly recognizes Deeks, but doesn't know why he's here. "Uh, you too."

"Detective Deeks has been appointed our new LAPD liaison officer," Hetty explains.

Deeks is a little thrown off that she hasn't already told everyone, but he swallows his surprise and offers Eric a smile.

Eric smiles back a little awkwardly, clearly not used to meeting new people in this office. "I'm...glad you weren't the murderer in our last case," he says.

Deeks laughs out loud. "Me, too. And I'm glad Agent Blye wasn't a drug supplier."

This makes Eric smile, so Deeks is pretty sure this whole new position thing is going well so far. Apart from wanting to be home full time, and the bonus of getting to work with his wife, he wants a fresh start.

Hetty shoes him out of the operations center and quickly shows him the upper floor, pointing out a few rooms and spaces before leading him back down the other stairs.

"My desk," she motions across the room without making any move to lead him over there. "And though I do not have a door, I do have an open door policy, Mr. Deeks, if you ever need anything."

"Alright," he says with a nod.

"There's a downstairs computer workstation," she again motions towards the desk area without leading him towards it. "Sometimes there is either no room in OPs or due to security levels, a second area is required."

He nods along.

"And our wardrobe area," she says, again motioning towards the general area.

Deeks can see several racks of clothing and at least two changing areas.

"Clothing is for NCIS operations only," she warns. "Not to be borrowed."

"Understood."

"And I expect you to take care to bring back my clothing intact and blood free as often as possible."

He feels his brow furrow at the unexpected and odd request, but nods. _Seriously, what kind of cases did these guys take on?_

"Also, if you are going to be working with us on assignments, I need to get your measurements."

"My...measurements?"

She nods. "We don't have time now. But remind me later."

He runs his hand across his chest unconsciously. "I can just tell you my clothing sizes."

She clucks her tongue. "Much of our undercover work here is... How can I put this? A bit more upscale than what you are probably used to with the LAPD. And if one wants to play the part, one must dress the part, Mr. Deeks."

He's not sure how to respond, but Hetty doesn't seem to expect a response, so he says nothing. He follows her down a corridor. She points out some offices, storage and the bathrooms.

"This place is huge," he comments.

"And there is still more to see," she says.

They turn a corner and arrive at the entrance to a full size gym. There is a row of cardio equipment along the side wall and a rock wall on the far wall. He recognizes Nate jogging on a treadmill. The psychologist has headphones on and is facing away from them, so is completely oblivious to their presence.

"Wow, definitely nothing like this at LAPD."

"If there are no active cases, you are welcome to use the facility."

She leads him to the side of the gym towards a door marked "Shooting Range."

He smiles when he spots his wife inside the room. They wait until she empties her clip before entering the room.

She turns at the noise and pulls off her ear protection.

"Hey stranger," she says with a smile.

He smiles back and taps his chin as if he's trying to remember something. "Didn't I just see you somewhere this morning?"

She rolls her eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about."

He chuckles.

Hetty waits for them to be done with a patient smile. "Like with the gym, you are welcome to use the shooting range when there are no active cases. I'm sure Agent Blye, here, can show you how it's done," she says lightly.

Deeks laughs. "Oh, she's been showing me how it's done - and showing me up - in shooting ranges for years." Then he smiles warmly at his wife. "In fact, she took me to my first one."

"What a modern day love story the two of you have."

Deeks feels his heart swell an almost embarrassing amount at Hetty's words. Because he loves his wife and he loves their story. And he's so excited for the next chapter in their life together, which is so enticingly close.

Hetty opens the door and moves on with the tour before Deeks can say anything further, but he shoots his wife his best smile before leaving the room. She smiles right back at him.

Hetty shows him a room filled with more weapons than he's ever seen in one place at one time. And then she walks him out to what she calls a garage, but which is actually a warehouse of cars. Being that NCIS is a federal agency, he half expected an army of black SUVs. And there are a handful of those. But there are also a variety of luxury cars, delivery trucks, mini vans and motorcycles, to name a few.

He whistles his appreciation.

"Okay, I don't know if I said it before but this place is awesome."

"We need to be prepared for anything, Mr. Deeks."

He smiles at the beautifully restored jaguar parked next to a minivan with a motorcycle next to it. Such a strange and yet awesome assortment of vehicles. "No boats?" He asks once he thinks he's seen everything. "Aren't you supposed to be associated with the Navy?"

"Don't be cheeky," she chastises, though he's pretty sure she's smiling.

00

Half an hour later, Deeks helps himself to a cup of coffee from the kitchenette area Hetty had told him was public domain. He suddenly hears voices which he recognizes as Callen and Sam from the lounge area next to the desks. He listens to them chat for a minute or two, debating whether or not to make his presence known.

Seeing as Eric had not known about his newly appointed position as their liaison, he is pretty sure Callen and Sam won't know either. And he's not sure either is exactly a big fan of his.

A third voice joins them, which he recognizes as Nate. Other than Hetty, Nate is the only person in the office who knows about his and Kensi's marriage. And he's pretty sure Nate likes him okay.

"Morning Nate," Sam says. "Good workout?"

"Yeah. I maxed out my delts, so I'm feeling that. And my glutes. Keeping my glutes in shape."

Deeks bites back a laugh at what he's hearing and makes the decision to stay away for now, not sure how to join that conversation.

The three men continue to chatter amongst themselves as Deeks makes his way back to his borrowed desk with his coffee. He places it carefully down on the desk, not wanting to make a mess on his first day, and yawns as he sits.

He hears footsteps and suddenly Callen appears from around the corner. His blue eyes immediately land on Deeks and he stops short of his own desk.

"Well, well, Deeks."

"Callen," Deeks greets.

Nate wanders over, too, and Deeks nods and offers his hand to shake due to their proximity. "Nate."

Nate stretches his arm first. "Sorry, I'm a little sore in the delts."

Deeks smirks. "But the glutes are good?"

"You heard that?"

"I did," he confirms.

Before either can say anything further, Sam walks by behind Deeks. "That desk is taken Deeks. You can't sit there."

Deeks feels that familiar lump in the pit of his stomach that he feels every time he knows he's somewhere he doesn't belong. He's often excluded at the LAPD. He knows he's good at his job. And he knows that can be intimidating. And he knows his refusal to turn a blind eye is often taken the wrong way. But he became a cop for a reason. And he'll be damned if he gives up on his principles just to fit in.

Nate's moved on and Callen doesn't say anything to counter his partner, so Deeks stands up. He's glad his wife isn't here to witness this. "I'll, uh-"

"Mr. Hanna," Hetty cuts him off, addressing Sam, "I asked Detective Deeks to sit there."

Sam says nothing in response.

Deeks glances down at the desk but makes no move to sit back down. He feels torn now between the woman who is sort-of his new boss and the two men who are his sort-of new team. He knows if he's going to make this work, he needs to get on their good sides.

And he knows how hard it can be to become accepted.

"I did so politely," Hetty continues. She motions for Deeks to sit.

He glances at Sam, but Sam isn't looking at him. He's either staring at Hetty or off at a spot near Hetty. It's hard to tell. Callen's looking at him, though. He offers the older man a nod before very carefully sitting back down.

"Detective Deeks had been appointed our LAPD liaison," Hetty explains, "Filing a chair that, though taken, has been vacant for some time."

"Welcome aboard, Deeks," Callen says. It's not exactly warm, but he sounds genuine at least.

"Thanks," Deeks says.

"So, you're sort of a temp," Sam says.

Even with his prior experience with Sam, he hadn't expected quite this level of hostility on his first day. It's not like Deeks has done _anything_ wrong. Yes, they had gotten off to a bad start in the boatshed in their first meeting when they clashed over roles and blame, but Deeks had thought he had proven himself a little to the senior agent when he had helped him in the gym the following day.

Apparently not.

In Deeks's experience, it's always easier to deal with hostility when you aren't being yourself. It's why he excels undercover. He can play the carefree cop here.

"Temp? Yeah, I like that," he says. "See, with cops, having a negative nickname's a good thing."

Sam glances away from him, and Deeks feels like maybe he's won this round because Sam doesn't have a comeback. He knows he should be trying to get on Sam's good side, but if the man wants to dish it out, he needs to be able to take it, too. He knows Callen is watching them both from his own desk, so he refrains from saying anything further.

"Okay," Hetty says. "No time to waste. We have a case."

Callen and Sam immediately stand and head up the stairs towards the operations centre. They don't wait for him, but they also don't try to stop him when he follows, so he assumes this is what's expected. He wonders briefly where he wife is, but he doesn't have to wonder any further when they arrive at the automatic doors.

The doors open and Callen and Sam walk in. Right as he goes to follow, he hears Kensi's voice say, "Detective Deeks? Really?"

Eric responds. "Deeks. Really. LAPD liaison."

"That's the best they could do?" She's sitting next to Eric by a computer terminal. She looks up when he enters the room and shoots him a quick smile before masking it with a surprised expression. "Oh, hello, Detective Deeks."

"Morning, Kensi," he says, fighting the urge to smile at her. She's clearly proud at her timing. He kind of thinks she looks adorable. "Oh, and, uh... It's the best they can do."

He watches her mouth twitch as she continues to fight off a smile. Her eyes are twinkling, though. "Sorry," she says, playing for the rest of the room.

"Forgiven."

Any further conversation is cut off by Callen asking about their case.

Eric stands and uses the big screen to present what will be Deeks's first official case with the team.

A Navy Lieutenant named Brian Roth drove a car off a cliff early that morning with two gunshot wounds. The car belongs to Aubrey Darva, a wealthy socialite vying for fame and spotlight. No one else was in the car, but the car has not been reported stolen. There is no known connection between Brian Roth and Aubrey Darva. The car is currently being pulled up the cliff back onto the road.

"Let's get up there and tell the LAPD we're interested," Callen says.

"Good thing we have a liaison," Kensi says, shooting him a smile as she follows Callen and Sam out of the room. She motions for him to follow them.

"Yeah, good thing." He sighs as he follows the team out of the room and then down the stairs.

When they reach the parking lot, Callen and Sam jump into a black Challenger. Kensi ushers him towards a silver SRX. He gets into the passenger seat.

"Did you like my timing?" She asks with a smile as she starts the car and begins to follow Sam.

"Very cute." He smiles.

She laughs, but sobers quickly and reaches her hand across the car to rest on his knee. "I'm so happy you're here."

"Me, too." Despite a less than auspicious start with everyone, he is still glad to be here.

"How did it go with the guys this morning? I thought it would be better if I wasn't around."

"Callen seems fine. Sam still hates me. Eric seems nice."

She frowns. "Sam will warm up. He's been...off since Dom disappeared. But he is a good guy."

"Well, if you have any hints to get on his good side..."

"I'll let you know."

She squeezes his knee and then returns her hand to the steering wheel. "What did you think of the office?"

He swallows his apprehension about what's about to happen and chatters on with his wife about how impressed he was with the office and its resources.

When they near the crime scene, they reach a road block and stop behind Callen and Sam. A LAPD uniformed officer approaches the drivers' side window of the Challenger.

Deeks releases a slow breath, trying to calm himself.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Kensi asks.

"Talk about what?"

"Please don't do that," she says quietly. "You've been anxious since we left."

"Sorry. I'm just...nervous, I guess." He runs a hand through his hair. "Honestly, I don't know if I'm liaison material."

He had sort of thought his job would be _calling_ people at LAPD, not dealing with them in person. And definitely not in front of a new team, half of whom maybe hated him, or at best barely tolerated him. He has a lot of contacts, many of whom he is on good terms with, and many friends. But when it comes to other detectives working in this area... Well, he's been forced to burn some bridges.

Ahead of them, the Challenger gets waved through. The officer waves them by as well.

"You're going to be great," Kensi says, ever supportive. "You're built for this job."

He wishes he had her level of faith in him in himself. "I hope so." He's told her about some run ins with some of the other cops, but he hasn't exactly shared how many dislike him. He glances at her now, at her proud and supportive expression, and he wishes for a moment he had declined this offer. Because he doesn't want her to see him fail. She's the only person who has ever been proud of him.

She parks the SRX next to the Challenger.

"You ready?"

Callen and Sam are already out of the Challenger.

"I don't really have a choice, huh?" He tries to make a joke, but it falls flat.

She frowns. She opens her mouth to say something, but Callen appears at Deeks's window.

"What's the wait? The car's coming up." Sure enough, at the edge of the cliff, the car is carefully being pulled up and has just appeared at road level.

"No wait," Deeks says, undoing his seatbelt and pushing open his car door.

He pulls his badge out of his back pocket as he walks determinedly towards the crime scene, knowing there are three sets of eyes watching his every move.

The officer stationed at the crime scene tape sees his badge and doesn't try to stop him.

He takes a breath as he ducks under the tape and then strides towards the two detectives standing near the wench truck being used to recover the car.

Unfortunately, he recognizes both of them. He also knows that even though they're pretending to be oblivious to his approach, they know he's here.

He clears his throat when he gets close and holds up his badge for good measure. "Morning, guys," he offers lightly. "How's it going?"

One detective continues to ignore him. The other waves a clipboard and mutters, "Beat it, Deeks."

"Really wish I could," he says, "But, uh...I'm supposed to be liaising. And this case...falls in NCIS jurisdiction, so..." He trails off when he realizes both cops are completely ignoring him and won't be responding.

"Come on, guys, can we be professional?"

"Like you even know what that means," the first one shoots back.

"Okay, I hear you. And I'm sorry," he apologizes for words and actions he'd participated in when arrested with a couple of druggies while undercover a couple years prior. Not that he hasn't already apologized a few times already. "But I'm an undercover cop. What else was I supposed to do?"

"If you're an undercover cop, what are you doing with these guys?" The second cop asks.

The question throws him for a moment, but before he can respond, the first cop tells him to "beat it," again.

He turns in defeat from one team who doesn't want him to walk back to the other.

Callen and Sam appear as a stern and unmoving pair. Kensi looks concerned and somewhat removed from her team. He hates himself for failing in front of her. And he hates himself for giving her cause to remove herself from her own team. She has found a place she belongs in this world, and the last thing he wants is to be the reason she loses that. He cannot let that happen.

"Are we done?" Callen asks.

"They told me... Actually, you don't need to know what they told me."

"Is it our crime scene?" Kensi asks.

He sighs. "Conversation never really got that far."

They all stare at him. Again, Callen and Sam are unflinching. Kensi is sympathetic. And that kills him the most. "You know how it is with undercover cops," he tries to explain. "I've pissed off more than my fair share of shields."

"Then why did they choose you as our liaison?" Sam asks, without an ounce of sympathy. Deeks is surprised that the lack of sympathy actually makes him feel a little better.

"Hetty's request," he explains.

Kensi shoots him a sympathetic glance, and Deeks knows there's going to be a conversation later. "Let me talk to them," she says.

He turns and watches her duck under the tape and approach the detectives. They are, of course, immediately charmed by her. And who wouldn't be? She's poised and self-assured and gorgeous. She's only gone a moment and then returns.

"Our case. Our crime scene," she announces. "And I made it clear you were with us," she says to Deeks.

He wishes that made him feel better, but it doesn't.

00

The drive back to the mission begins in silence.

Kensi is driving again. He can sense her glancing at him every few turns or blocks, but she's giving him as much space as she can with them so close together in the car. He appreciates her attempts more than he can explain.

"That could have gone better," he finally says.

"Could have gone worse, too."

He loves her for trying. _God, he loves her so much._ "I'm not exactly making a good impression, here."

"On Callen and Sam?"

"On anyone."

She huffs. "I'm already impressed, Marty."

"Thank you for saying that."

"I mean it, you know."

"I do know," he tell her. And that's the truth. He just worries her pride in him will fade. He doesn't question her love or her commitment, but he loves knowing this beautiful, wonderful, strong woman is _proud_ of him. It makes him stronger. _Better._ And he doesn't want it to go away.

He reaches out to her; lays his hand on her thigh. "I thought this could be a fresh start," he admits quietly. "When my last undercover assignment is finally finished, I can worked part time at LAPD and part time with you. I thought it was a good plan."

She lays her hand down on his. "It still can be," she assures.

"It's not even noon," he points out. "Your team doesn't want me here. You had to do my job for me back there."

They're almost back at the mission. She sighs and squeezes his hand. "Callen and Sam will warm up," she tells him. "They're just thrown off because they didn't expect you. And we're a team. We help each other. I know you want to prove yourself. You'll get your chance."

He goes to respond, but she cuts him off.

"And Marty? _I_ want you here. Whatever problem those assholes at the crime scene have with you, I don't care. That's _their_ problem."

He flips his hand over to thread their fingers together. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"You're a good man, Marty Deeks," she tells him fiercely. "I know everything I need to know about you."

"Thank you." He feels a surge of relief in his chest. His lungs release and he can breathe a little easier. "It's not everyone," he tells her honestly. "It's just some of the guys I've run into undercover and-"

She cuts him off by squeezing his hand as she pulls the car into the parking area at the mission. "You don't have to explain, Marty." She parks and turns her head to meet his eyes. "I wasn't always accepted either, until I came here."

He remembers how strong she had been before successfully applying to the Office of Special Projects. How strong she had _had_ to be. How determined and defiant. He recalls the stories of the older agents who hadn't wanted to work with someone so young; of the old fashioned men who hadn't wanted to work with a woman. He knows that those stories had gone away the moment she joined this team.

Those stories had been replaced with new stories. Stories of crawling through air vents and under buildings. Stories of her struggles to hide her weapon while wearing a bikini. Stories of being able to prove herself to a team willing to see her for her abilities and skills.

"You'll find a home here, too," she tells him after a long moment.

"I hope so."

She squeezes his hand and then releases it. "I know so. And I'll be right here beside you, no matter how long it takes."

"I don't want to isolate you from your team," he tells her. "You have a really good thing going here."

" _You_ 're my team," she tells him fiercely. "I have a good thing going with _you_. And there is _no one_ else I would rather have in my corner."

He feels his heart swell in his chest. Because no matter what other shit is being thrown his way, his wife is still proud of him.

He follows her out of the car towards the doors into the mission.

"Thank you," he says quietly. He's not sure if he's thanking her for being proud, her pep talk or just being an awesome wife in general, but he knows she'll understand.

She bumps his hip. "I know how dedicated you are to your job, Marty," she tells him quietly. Her tone reminds him of just how intimately acquainted she's been with the bad parts. "We're here for each other."

00

 _He'd been sitting vigil on the beach for so long his clothes had dampened from the sand. And the cool air had given him a chill. But the crisp, clear air felt like it may hold some clarity to the young cop if he only stayed a little longer._

 _The sun was making its way up into the sky, so he knew eventually he would be warm._

 _Maybe._

 _He wasn't even sure if he cared._

 _The world around him no longer made sense._

 _His dreams - when he managed to find sleep - were filled with bangs and blood and screams._

 _His conscious thoughts just kept taking him back to that damned afternoon. The assignment gone really, really bad. The people he couldn't save. And the subsequent praise from his supervisor. Because he'd done_ everything _right. He'd saved as many as he could, which turned out to be most of them. He'd come out alive himself. And he took down a human trafficking ring that had unexpectedly crossed paths with the weapons ring he was investigating. It was considered a win, despite the cost._

 _Deeks didn't see it that way. If he'd done everything right, he should have been able to save more of them._

 _He sighed and settled his face into his hands, trying to bury the memories._

 _A minute or an hour could have passed before he felt a gentle hand between his shoulder blades, pulling him from the hole he was digging with his mind._

 _"Thought I'd find you here," Kensi murmured._

 _He lifted his head to stare up at her. "Sorry," he said first._

 _She sighed heavily and removed her hand from his back as she sat beside him on the sand, hip to hip and shoulder to shoulder. "You have nothing to be sorry for, Marty. I just wish..." She trailed off for a moment and laid her head onto his shoulder. "I wish there was something I could do to help you through this."_

 _"I'm pretty sure you're the only thing keeping me from losing my mind right now, Kens."_

 _She lifted her head from his shoulder and turned to face him. She reached her hand up to card her fingers through his hair. "I wish I could share this burden with you."_

 _He met her eyes, and wasn't all that surprised to see pain reflected in hers. "I'm pretty sure you are."_

00

 _ **AN: Again, part II should be up much faster than it took to get this part up. I'm also re-posing the following question from the previous chapter in case you missed it as it was following a very long AN...**_

 _ **I have this idea (and it's been suggested as well) of writing one shots of the team finding out about the marriage during certain choice 'episodes' where in this story they don't find out. (For example, I could write a one shot in this 'universe' where the team does find out about them during Hand-to-hand). If there's enough interest I may actually do this. (And once the team finds out, the idea can be reversed, I guess, where they're still keeping the secret). Is there interest in this?**_


	20. Fame - Part II

_**AN: Managed to dedicate much of my weekend to writing. Finished this chapter, as well as have the next chapter mostly written! So, yay for that! Thought I'd take a moment to answer some questions from some anonymous reviews here...**_

 _ **Also, if you have questions, feel free to leave them in reviews, either signed or anonymous and I'll do my best to answer them. And just an FYI for those who may not know, but you can register with the site for a username just for the sake of reading, reviewing/PMs (private messages) and tracking stories - the site will send out notifications when stories you pick are updated. I've been on the site so long it's easy to forget not everyone knows these things... :-)**_

 _ **C18 - Lily - July 19 - Kensi will understandably be upset to Deeks's disappearance in Human Traffic. But the events in that episode/chapter will play out a little differently than on the show. For instance - in this universe, who do you think Deeks would call first when he wakes up?**_

 _ **C18 - Guest - July 19 - Deeks's paper file has Kensi's information, yes. Good catch. However, that doesn't mean it will accessible on his electronic file. (I'm going this way in my mind because in the recent season the DoJ investigator told Sam there was no record of his wife in his file). I feel like Hetty would keep each of them out of each others' files. At least for now. And Nell... At the very least she took a while to settle in. We'll see what happens with her. I won't say anything here about the house, because that will be answered shortly.**_

* * *

Episode 1.20 - Fame. Part II.

When they had been at the crime scene, an examination of Roth's body confirmed two things. One, he would have died regardless of the car crash. He had been shot twice. The shots were expertly placed and he would have bled out no matter what. And two, he had a door stamp on his wrist from a Hollywood nightclub called Balm.

An examination of the car also confirmed two things. One, Roth was not shot in the car. There was not enough blood in the vehicle. Also, there was dried blood on the door handle, so most likely he was shot outside the car and got into the car, presumably to get to a hospital. And two, Aubrey Darva was in the car at one point and may be in trouble. Her purse and shoes were still in the car, along with a torn piece of pink fabric.

When Kensi and Deeks join the rest of the team in OPs, Deeks is quiet, afraid his inferior liaising skills will be discussed. His fears are immediately put to rest, though, when nothing is so much as mentioned.

"Eric, what's the most recent footage you have of Aubrey Darva?" Callen asks.

Eric turns to his computer and begins typing. "Uh, pictures posted last night on ZMV," he says.

"Let's see them," Sam says.

"Working on it," Eric mutters before exclaiming, "Aha!"

A moment later a picture of Aubrey Darva appears on the big screen. She's wearing a pink dress and clutching a very familiar purse.

"That definitely looks like the same shade of pink that we found in the car," Kensi states.

Callen nods. "Go to her house. See if she's there. If she's not, see if anyone knows where she is."

Kensi nods.

Eric pulls up a screen and then quickly writes down the address. He holds out the paper to Deeks, who is closest to him. "She lives with her stepfather, Ben Darva. Mother died a year ago. No other permanent residents listed."

"Thanks," Deeks says, taking the piece of paper, happy to be included, even if it's a minor olive branch.

He follows Kensi out of the operations centre and down the stairs. Hetty is at her desk and watches them silently as they walk past. He stares back and wonders suddenly if this whole thing is a test.

"Want me to drive?" He asks.

"Nope," she calls as she slides into the drivers' seat.

He settles into the passenger seat.

"I never get to drive," she explains. "Sam _always_ drives. And if I'm out with Callen, he drives _because_ Sam always drives. No one ever lets me drive."

"I let you drive."

She shoots him a smile as she pulls out of the parking area. "That's because you love me."

He laughs. He knows she's purposefully keeping this car ride lighter than the previous one, but he's grateful to her for it.

They fall into a familiar pattern of banter for the rest of their drive, but when they reach the Darva residence, both fall quiet as they stare up at the large estate.

"Wow," Kensi says.

Deeks whistles. "What do you think? Dream house?"

She laughs. "Yeah, like literally in our dreams. Because there's no way we're affording anything like this in real life."

"You don't know that. We could win the lottery."

She bumps his hip. "What would we do with a house this big?"

"Have a place for all of your things," he is immediately ready with his retort.

"Ouch!" She says joking. She playfully swats at him and then veers off to the right to inspect a workman up a ladder installing a security camera.

When Deeks gets close to the front door, a middle eastern man appears holding a red bag.

"Can I help you?"

"Hi," he greets, holding up his badge, "We're looking for Aubrey or Ben Darva."

"Ben is by the pool," the man says, motioning around the right side of the house.

"Thank you."

Deeks turns and follows the steps his wife had taken. He finds her chatting in Spanish with the workman, which he finds completely charming and adorable. And very, very sexy.

"Gracias," she tells the man, before joining Deeks.

"We need to find the pool," he tells her. "Apparently that's where we will find Ben Darva."

She nods. "Apparently they're installing security cameras because there have been a number of break ins in the neighborhood."

They continue down the path between one big house and another, and around a corner to a court yard that leads to a pool. That's where they find Ben Darva.

Unfortunately, Mr. Darva does not know where his stepdaughter, Aubrey, is. He has not seen her since the night before and had thought her to be in her room (which is actually a separate house). His reaction and obvious worry for his stepdaughter make it clear to Kensi and Deeks that he truly has no idea where Aubrey is or how Brian Roth ended up with her car.

Without any truly usable information, they head back to the mission.

00

Back at the mission, Deeks is able to show some usefulness as a liaison by quickly obtaining information from the LAPD about the alleged break ins in Aubrey's neighborhood. No one comments on his abilities, but it makes him feel better after this morning's fiasco that he can obtain information for the team without any drama.

The team, along with Deeks, postulates whether Brian Roth could have somehow been part of a break in crew robbing those houses, but even that seems farfetched. He has an impeccable service record with the marines, and a squeaky clean record outside of the marines. Also, he doesn't live anywhere near that afflicted area and his personal belongings and bag in evidence show no signs of anything that doesn't belong to him. Seeing as they're not even sure the break ins have anything to do with Brian Roth's murder, they move on to the hard evidence they do have.

Callen and Sam have interviewed a couple of Roth's shipmates. They confirmed they had been with Roth the night before. Roth was a card nut, so they played poker, and then headed out to go clubbing at Balm, which explains the door stamp.

Eric has managed to salvage some of the car's SOS audio system, which activated during the crash and caught Roth's dying words. Deeks joins the team in listening to the fragmented audio recording. He's impressed by the technical operator's abilities, but the rest of the team appear like it's an expected and normal occurrence, so other than a nod to Eric, he doesn't say anything.

Roth's words are difficult to make out. It sounds like he's saying "...club...king..." over and over.

"You don't waste your dying words," Sam says. "He's saying who shot him."

"Club king?" Deeks says. "Like a king ping?" He postulates.

Callen nods thoughtfully. "Club could be Balm."

"There are lots of king pings at Balm," Deeks says. He'd spent a few weeks undercover in the club the previous year, but his cover hadn't been burned at the end of the case, so the LAPD had had him drop by the club once in a while over the past year to keep his cover just active enough to be useful if it was ever needed again. "And Roth left with Aubrey," he reminds. "Maybe she was somebody else's girl."

Kensi is right there with him. "Making jealousy a possible motive for shooting him."

Callen hedges a nod. "Best theory we have."

Sam chuckles. "Only theory we have, G."

Callen huffs a laugh at his partner before turning to Eric. "Find anything on the video footage?"

"There is no video footage."

"Balm wouldn't hand it over?"

"None to hand over," Eric says. "No cameras."

"That's why it's so popular with the rich and infamous," Deeks explains. "Nobody's watching. And you can forget about interviewing witnesses because even if something did happen, everybody's looking the other way."

Callen stares at him for a moment, his eyes calculating and perceiving. "You have experience there," he says, not asking.

Deeks nods. "Assignment about a year and a half ago."

Callen exchanges a look with Sam.

Sam nods. "The clock's ticking for the girl."

"If she's still alive," Kensi adds.

"I guess we're going clubbing." Callen turns back to Deeks. "You familiar with who we need to talk to if we go in?"

Deeks nods. "Absolutely."

"You get out clean?"

He smiles, knowing what Callen's asking. "I'm good to go in with you," he assures. Then he shrugs. "You'll just have to call me Tim."

He sees his wife's lips quirk upwards ever so slightly, but she successfully fights back a smile. He knows she remembers Tim. He had complained to her about the endless nights of clubbing over and over. And over. She had eventually started teasing him by calling him a boring old man who couldn't handle the nightlife anymore.

00

 _After an early dinner, Kensi helped her husband tidy the kitchen and then escaped to the bathroom for a shower. When she returned from her shower, she found her husband reclined on the couch. She tucked herself between his solid body and the back of the couch. She always loved cuddling against him like that, but even more so when he was so freshly home from his assignments._

 _He hummed happily at her presence and wrapped his arm around her middle._

 _"What do you want to do tonight?" She asked._

 _"This," he said simply._

 _She smiled into his shoulder. "After this."_

 _"Go to bed." He yawned. "Sleep."_

 _She frowned and propped an elbow up on his chest to rest her chin. "You do realize it's, like, not even eight, right?"_

 _He cracked open an eye. "It's getting dark out," he countered._

 _"It's barely dusk."_

 _"I'm tired."_

 _She raised an eyebrow._

 _"Do you have any idea how late Tim had to stay up?_ Every night _? Tim didn't go to bed until it was light out."_

 _She patted his chest. "I understand. Apparently, I'm married to a boring old man."_

 _He huffed. "That is not fair. Or nice."_

 _She laughed._

 _He cracked a smile. "Isn't that the point of marriage? Growing old together?"_

 _She leaned up his body to press a kiss to his jaw. "Absolutely." Then she settled back down against him. "Though we are both still in our twenties, so I don't think we can count ourselves as old quite yet."_

 _He closes his arms around her tightly and cranes his neck to press a kiss to her head. "We'll get there."_

00

True to his word, Deeks is able to get himself - as Tim - along with Kensi and Callen into the club. He finds he's jealous of Callen. Not only because the man gets to wear a swanky suit while Deeks is stuck in Tim's signature sweater over a collared shirt. And not exactly because Kensi is wearing a _very_ short little black dress and hanging off Callen's arm. He's secure in his marriage and he completely understands what both he and Kensi sometimes have to do for their jobs.

It's just been months since he's been out with his wife. _He_ wants to be the man with her in the club. Or in any club. And out any _where_ , really. He's only been home a couple days from his assignment and, other than the bar Friday night where they met Hetty, they hadn't had time to go anywhere more exciting than the grocery store. He makes a mental note to take his wife out as soon as he can.

"Tim, baby," one of his contacts greets him warmly.

"There she is," he greets, falling into Tim's persona as he hugs her.

"So, this is your friend," she prompts, staring at Callen.

Deeks nods. "This is Ivan Kolvak," he introduces Callen as his alias. "His dad runs the... _Russian oil business._ You know?"

She nods. "Oh. Yes. Well, Ivan, I am Sapphire." She shakes his hand with both of hers. "If there's anything you need, you ask me. Anything at all." She pauses to motion towards a table with a flourish. "I have you at the best table in the house with a lot of lovely ladies that are excited to meet you."

"That's great," Deeks says.

"Would you like to open a tab?" Sapphire asks.

Callen aloofly pulls his Hetty-provided credit card from his pocket and passes it to her.

"Just how deep were you undercover?" Callen asks when Sapphire is out of earshot.

He resists the urge to roll his eyes. "I was Tim the professional low life for a glorious nine weeks," he answers sarcastically.

Callen eyes him. "And Tim and Sapphire?"

Deeks feels his temper rise ever so slightly, but takes a breath to calm himself. Callen's not asking in a judgmental way. And he has no way of knowing he's practically accusing Deeks of cheating in front of his wife.

"Tim and Sapphire used each other as contacts and nothing more," he says, forcing his voice to sound casual, but making sure to catch Kensi's eye. Her expression is calm and trusting, and that calms him. "She probably makes five times what we do in tips alone," he tells Callen and Kensi. "I sent clients her way. She sent me towards bad guys under the premise of me needing work. When the bad guys got arrested, Tim got arrested, too. She thinks Tim mostly cleaned up his act after he got arrested."

Callen nods. "Good way to keep your cover intact."

"It's worked a few times."

Any further conversation is cut short when Kensi spots Aubrey Darva across the club floor.

"I don't believe it," she says. "Aubrey Darve, alive."

"And well enough to party," Callen adds.

They sit at their table and surreptitiously watch their potential victim turned possible suspect speak with several different people. At least two Deeks recognizes as major players in bad guy activities.

"So, what does Aubrey know?" Kensi asks.

"Time to find out," Callen says.

Aubrey Darva has a publically documented problem with drugs. She's fresh out of rehab and open about her struggle and support in going clean and sober. The team uses that to their advantage. They quickly hatch a plan to have Kensi befriend her as another young woman fighting for sobriety, with a little help from Deeks.

Kensi plants herself against the wall near the bathroom and Deeks a little ways down the hall. Then they wait, knowing Aubrey will use the facility eventually.

Callen gives word that she's headed their way.

Deeks waits until he spots her at the end of the hall before making his move. He presses his NCIS issued ear piece, opening the channel to Kensi. She's leaning back against the wall, pretending to be staring at her phone, disinterested in the people around her. He needs to give her a heads up that he's on his way.

They had agreed to call her Andrea. But that's boring.

"I'm going to call you Fern, okay?" He speaks through the comm.

" _Don't you dare call me Fern_ ," she hisses back without lifting her head from her phone as she continues to act disinterested in her surroundings.

He knows he'll pay for it later, but he's okay with that. He heads for his wife right in time to cut off Aubrey Darva and guarantee to have her full attention.

"Fern! Baby girl! It's been a long time." He sidles up in front of her with his body not too close, but leans his hand against the wall beside her head. Kensi glares at him, and he's pretty sure at least half the glare is not fake; a product of her annoyance at the name.

"Not interested," Kensi says, pretending to try to push him away.

"Come on," he insists. "I got a special," he says right as Aubrey Darva pushes her way between them with an "excuse me." He lifts his arm to let her through and continues his tirade. "I got it all. I got E. I got all the coke you can sink your pretty little face into."

"I said no!" Kensi practically yells, ensuring Aubrey can hear her. She waits a beat for Aubrey to disappear into the bathroom. Then she and Deeks exchange a quick glance and he lifts his arm. She nudges him playfully as she heads for the bathroom.

Deeks watches her leave and then rejoins Callen at their table. They listen over their comms as Kensi successfully wins Aubrey's attention and they leave the bathroom to sit together for a drink.

Callen shakes his head after they turn off their comms for the time being. "She's good."

Deeks bites back a proud smile. "She is."

"Fern?" Callen asks. "That was your doing?"

Deeks smiles and shrugs.

"Kensi is going to kill you."

He shrugs. "Maybe." He's actually kind of looking forward to his wife's coming rant. He knows he'll hear about it when they get home. But in his defense, he's bought and gotten rid of enough ferns over the years because his wife believes she can keep them alive. In actual fact, she is a noted plant killer. _He_ keeps them alive for her, but then he goes undercover and comes back to find them dead. One time he came back to find not one. Not two. But five dead plants on their balcony. _Five_.

"Definitely," Callen counters.

Deeks just smiles. He looks forward to the day when Callen and Sam are made aware of his marriage to Kensi. Maybe he'll remind Callen of this moment.

Callen lets it go and they quietly discuss the case so far. A few minutes later, Kensi activates the comms to announce that someone has grabbed Aubrey and she's had to break her cover.

Callen and Deeks spot a man forcefully leading Aubrey across the floor and separate to intercept him on both sides.

The man spots Callen first and turns, but Deeks is there.

"Stay back!" He calls, wrapping his left arm around Aubrey's neck and pulling a gun with his right hand.

Callen and Deeks both draw their guns as well.

"Drop the gun. Let her go," Callen demands.

"No way, man! I'll pop her!"

Screams can be heard as the crowd disperses around them. Deeks ignores the chaos and lines up his shot. "I've got it, Callen," Deeks says.

Callen ignores him. "I need you to move, now, Deeks."

The gunman turns, swinging his gun towards Deeks.

Deeks ducks and Callen fires. The bullets finds its mark and takes out the shooter, leaving Aubrey standing alone in the center of the floor. Kensi rushes into the area, wrapping an arm around the terrified girl and leading her away. She turns her head, though, and meets Deeks eyes, ensuring he's okay.

He nods to tell her he's fine, though he's not exactly happy as he turns the safety on his gun and replaces it in the waistband of his jeans. It's not that he _wanted_ to take the shot, but he had the shot lined up. _The better shot_. And Callen had brushed him off.

Callen steps forward and feels for a pulse. He stands and shakes his head, telling Deeks the man is dead.

"Try getting out of the way faster next time," he says.

"Try letting the guy with the better shot actually take the shot next time," Deeks counters.

Callen stares at him for a moment in a way Deeks is quickly learning is typical for Callen. No judgment but a lot of analysing. "We've never worked with you before," he says simply. "We don't know anything about your skills."

"I've never worked with you either," Deeks responds, matching Callen's tone. "I don't know anything about your skills. So, why am I supposed to trust you, but you won't trust me?"

Callen stares at him again for a moment, but says nothing in response. Deeks isn't sure, but he thinks maybe he's earned a hint of respect from the older agent.

00

As it turns out, the man who attempted to abduct Aubrey from the club was her former dealer. He had previously used her to obtain information on houses in her neighborhood in order to rob them. She had unknowingly given the information thinking it was being sold to the paparazzi.

Deeks is sitting in the boatshed with Sam as they watch Kensi interview Aubrey. It's almost dawn and he bites back a yawn. After the shooting, they had waited for the LAPD to arrive, and had each given statements. Thankfully, Deeks had not been on bad terms with any of the officers on scene, so he had managed to make another good impression in his liaising duties. Then they had taken Aubrey to the hospital to be checked out, before taking her to the boatshed to answer some questions.

Deeks stifles a second yawn and stretches. He definitely hadn't expected his first day to stretch into his second.

"Are our hours inconvenient for you, temp?" Sam asks in a not-so-teasing manner. He's been a little extra surly since Callen, Kensi and Deeks arrived back from the club and hospital. Deeks isn't sure how to read the older man. He was a bully first thing that morning, but then supportive of Deeks's contributions to the case later in the day. And now, sitting alone with him with nothing productive to do but wait, Sam is exuding annoyance. And Deeks hasn't said _anything._

"Nope," Deeks says, making sure to pop the 'p' sound as he plays the carefree cop. "Just feel the tiredness when I near the twenty four hour mark, you know? Especially when there's nothing active to do. I'll be good once the sun's up."

Sam stares at him for a long moment, his lips tightening into a thin line like he's not sure how to read him. "You know we have cases that go overnight a lot."

Deeks nods, while biting back a smirk. He's slept in a cold bed plenty of times because of exactly that fact. "Not a problem for me."

Sam narrows his eyes slightly when his comment does not appear to have the expected effect on Deeks.

"You must not have much going on outside of work," he tries.

Deeks exhales slowly, not wanting to rise to Sam's bait. So he grins at the senior agent. "My life's probably a lot like yours," he goes with. From his conversations with his wife, he knows the senior agent is also married. And has kids. And he also knows he's not supposed to know that.

Sam scoffs, which only makes Deeks happier on the inside. He will definitely have to remember and remind Sam of this one day.

"I'm sure we're nothing alike."

Deeks shrugs and tries to stifle another yawn. Instead of allowing the yawn, he whistles the tune to 'The More We Get Together,' knowing it will further annoy the senior agent.

"Why are you even tired?" Sam snaps. "It's not like you've contributed much."

This takes him by surprise, because he's actually been pretty helpful to the case. "I've gotten information from the LAPD about the break ins-"

"Which is not related to our case," Sam cuts him off.

"We don't know if its related or not," Deeks reminds him. "Also, I got Kensi and Callen into Balm. I helped Kensi secure a cover with Aubrey Darva."

"Oh, and look how helpful that was," Sam says, waving at the video feed of Kensi and Aubrey talking in the interview room.

" _That_ was not my fault. But I was also there to help stop Aubrey from being abducted."

"Sure. By ducking."

Deeks sighs. "I was lined up to take the shot. Callen called me off of it."

Sam sits back and crosses his arms, saying nothing.

"I had the better shot."

"If Callen called you off, then he thought he had the better shot." Sam's tone tells Deeks quite clearly that Sam is siding with his partner regardless of the circumstance. It irritates Deeks. Callen at least he feels like he has a chance of proving himself with. Sam seems to have his mind made up. And he doesn't know what it is he's done wrong.

"All I'm saying is Aubrey was between the suspect and Callen. He should have let me take the shot."

"Yeah? And your bullet goes through him and into her?"

Deeks sighs. Of course he wouldn't have let that happen. He had been lined up for the man's right side. And his angle had been open and exceptionally better than Callen's. He could easily have hit the man without risk of Aubrey being hit, too. He doesn't bother telling that to Sam, though. The man clearly won't hear it. "He only had about an inch of the guy's head showing," he tries.

"Which he hit, now, didn't he. Temp."

Deeks gives up. He takes a page from Sam's book and sits back in his chair with his arms crossed. Even his carefree cop persona is starting to get seriously annoyed at Sam's attitude and inconsistency.

When Aubrey has eventually given all the information she has about the break in crew, Kensi takes her home.

Sam and Deeks head back to the mission in silence.

Callen meets them. He tells them the club had used his credit card to check his alias's personal information. Address, credit history, purchase history and whether he made payments on an alarm system.

"It's actually a pretty sophisticated search."

"Who ran the search?" Deeks asks.

"Sapphire."

Deeks nods, not surprised. Sapphire had been kept out of the arrests last time because her actions had been borderline, but he had recognized that had been to protect herself only. He had always thought if the potential payoff was big enough she would cross the line.

"Okay, so Aubrey goes sober and stops providing intel," Sam speculates.

"So they start skimming info off the credit cards," Deeks adds.

Sam nods along. "Smart."

Deeks feels his brow furrow, because here, only half an hour later, Sam is pleasant and agreeable. He seriously does not understand the man.

"So, are we arresting her? Or should I do my liaison thing?"

Callen shrugs. "Our job is to solve Roth's murder."

Deeks takes that as his cue to contact the LAPD and have them handle the robbery investigation. And he'll have to do it immediately. After pulling his gun at Balm, his cover as Tim has been effectively burned forever.

He spends the next hour on the phone with the LAPD robbery division, walking them through everything he knows. They are, of course, aware of the break ins, and have been getting increasing pressure to solve the case due to the power and wealth of the owners of the houses in the afflicted neighborhood. The lead detective is extremely grateful for the information and promises to keep Deeks in the loop.

When he finishes with his calls, he checks his cell phone, only to find a text from Bates telling him to call in. He does, expecting a demand to explain how and why an LAPD alias has been burned after only one shift working with NCIS.

"Bates," the older man answers his phone.

"It's Deeks."

"Hey, kid, how's the second day working with the feds?"

"Still the first day, actually."

Bates chuckles. "Trial by fire, huh?"

"Pretty much."

"How is it working with the wife?"

"Pretty good. She's off with a potential witness right now." He wonders when she'll be back from Aubrey Darva's house.

"Good, good. I heard you solved a robbery case."

"Yeah, it crossed with the murder case we're investigating. Still don't know if it's related."

"That's good work, Deeks. You just closed ten unsolved cases. You're making me look good, kid."

"And I'm not even in robbery."

"What have I told you about fake modesty?"

He laughs. "What are you talk about fake? That was real."

"How you're my best undercover guy, I don't know."

Deeks smiles, but it quickly falls away as he processes Bates's tone. He sighs. "Bates, I _just_ got out on Friday."

"We have an in, Deeks."

He runs his hand through his hair. "It's been less than a week."

"I know. And if I could change it, I would. But it's Traynor's case. We've been preparing to send you under for six months. Our in just came up last minute. We may not get another chance for months."

"How soon?"

Bates sighs, and Deeks closes his eyes, knowing it's bad. "Tonight."

"Fuck," he mutters to himself. Bates stays silent, giving him time to process.

All plans of house hunting with his wife go out the window. All plans of going home tonight, sharing dinner and sleeping beside his wife, go out the window. All plans of taking Kensi out later this week are gone. All plans of proving himself to Callen and maybe figuring out Sam are gone.

He knew this case was coming. He just didn't think it would be this soon.

"What time?"

"If you can be here by five? At the latest." Bates pauses. "I can't make you do this, kid."

"You're not making me. I know what I signed up for." He takes a deep breath. "I'll be there."

"I appreciate it, Deeks. I'll make sure it's your last assignment. No more longer term UCs."

"Alright."

After he hangs up, he takes a moment to himself to process.

He doesn't want to go back undercover. He wants to stay at home. He wants to look for a house with his wife. He wants to take her out. He wants to spend a day on the beach with her and their dog. He wants to spend time getting to know this new team that he may or may not ever really be a part of.

But he knows he doesn't really have a choice.

He's still sometimes haunted by that one case of his that had crossed paths with a human trafficking organization. He had broken cover and declared himself a cop and taken on four armed bad guys when they had set out to kill a dozen girls. Surprise had been his only ally. He had neutralized the guys while staying alive. And he had saved ten of the girls.

But two had still died.

When Jess Traynor had told him about her plan for this case over a year earlier, he had volunteered to go undercover if she ever managed to get the operation together. They both had demons that needed excising with this case.

He sighs and runs his hand through his hair. As much as he is dedicated to this particular case, he is dedicated to his wife. He had never expected to be called under so quickly. And after spending Monday night stuck working, they only really got four nights together, _including_ the night he snuck home.

He hits the desk with both hands, which makes the alien bobble head shake and almost topple over. He flinches and reaches to steady the bobble head. Then he taps it's head, reminding himself there are much worse situations to be in. "Sorry, Dom," he whispers, hoping he can one day meet his wife's partner.

With a clarifying breath, forcing himself to stop feeling sorry for himself, he stands and heads upstairs to join Callen and Sam in the operations center.

"Brian Roth and Aubrey Darva met at Balm last night," Eric is explaining. "This has been confirmed by Aubrey and Roth's marine buddies." He nods to Callen and Sam who had interviewed the marines. "Aubrey puts Brian Roth at the Darva mansion until about 1AM," Eric is saying. He's standing in front of a topographical map of the area. "Then he drove off the cliff at 2:15AM."

"So he took her car, drove somewhere and got shot," Sam summarizes.

"How far could he have gone, Eric?" Callen asks.

Eric zooms the map out and inputs a large circle. "Pretty far. There's no traffic that time of night."

"So, where did he go?" Callen thinks out loud. "And what the hell was he mixed up in that got him shot?"

Sam shakes his head. "There's no indication he was involved in the break in ring. Or that anyone came after him for going home with Aubrey."

"So, what could it be?" Callen asks. "Not likely to be random. He did have Aubrey's car."

"Gambling debts?" Deeks suggests, joining the conversation. "His buddies did say he played poker."

Sam stares at him for a long moment, and Deeks thinks the man may just berate him for cutting into the conversation. But his eyes flash and he nods. "They did say that. I have to check something." He leaves, but is back a minute later with Roth's bag from evidence. Out of it, he pulls a deck of cards.

"Roth wasn't saying club king. He was saying king of clubs," Sam explains, holding up the card.

"He got shot over a poker game?"

"It's not a game. It's the deck," Sam explains, still being pleasant and taking time to explain and not berate. "It's a special deck issued to all the sailors and soldiers who went to Iraq."

"Iraq War Fugitive cards," Eric confirms. "Always my lucky deck."

Sam waves the card. "King of Clubs, Eric; captured, killed or still at large?"

Eric pulls up the information. "Hassan Al-Jahiri. One of Suddam's top generals. Still at large."

Deeks turns to face the screen and feels a flash of recognition. "He was there yesterday at the house," he announces, remembering the man who he met at the door and who sent him and Kensi around the house to find Ben Darva at the pool.

"Roth must have seen him and recognized him," Sam says.

"And got shot for it," Callen confirms as the case finally makes sense.

Eric pulls up Jahiri's file and explains some of his more severe acts of terrorism. "He's one dangerous dude."

"We need to warn Kensi," he announces to the team. He does _not_ want his wife there alone and unprepared.

Callen nods and pulls out his phone. He lifts it to his ear as he's addressing Eric. "Eric, find out why Jahiri would be staying with Ben Darva."

Eric nods.

Kensi evidently picks up, because Callen quickly begins speaking to her and outlining their case now.

Deeks's blood runs cold when he whispers, "Jahiri's in the room."

"Kensi, sit tight. We're on our way."

Callen hangs up and Eric brings up the camera on Kensi's phone.

Deeks can feel his heart hammering against his chest. Kensi is in a kitchen. Jahiri is standing across the room, speaking with three other men in a language he doesn't understand. He's desperate to get there and help her, knowing how dangerous the man across the room from her is.

"They're looking right at her," Callen says aloud. "Tell me she hasn't been made, Sam."

"No. He's telling them to burn everything with blood on it."

"Why hasn't she been made?" Callen asks Deeks. "You were there yesterday."

Deeks recalls joking with his wife. Then she had veered off to the side of the house to speak with the workman. He thinks he's literally never been so relieved in his entire life. "He must not have seen her. Just me. She would have been out of his view."

"Let's go," Callen says. "Eric, monitor and keep us in the loop. I want to know if anything changes."

"Of course."

They are halfway to the Darva's residence when they hear from Eric for the first time. Kensi is in the process of getting Aubrey out of harm's way. He's also discovered that Jahiri and Ban Darva were roommates in college and Jahiri saved Darva's life. They assume Darva is giving him shelter now without knowing what he's doing with it.

They are three quarters of the way to the Darva's residence when Eric informs them Kensi's cover has been blown. Her phone has been turned off and Eric has no way of knowing what is going on inside the house.

Deeks's heart is thumping so hard against his chest he thinks it may actually bruise the inside of his ribs. When they finally pull up to the residence, Callen parks on the street and Deeks is the first to jump from the car. Callen sends him around back while he and Sam head for the front.

All Deeks wants is his wife out safely, all thoughts of going under cover tonight completely gone from his mind. He doesn't argue with Callen. He knows if either of the agents had any idea of his relationship with Kensi there's no way they'd let him enter with them.

But he knows there's also no way in hell he's not going in after her.

He runs around the buildings surrounding the main house to make a clean approach and silently makes his way to the back door. He tries the handle, which is unlocked. He opens the door, crouches down and makes his way inside.

He suddenly hears the sounds of a fight from the front of the house. Men yelling in a language he doesn't understand. A few gunshots.

And his wife shouting to announce her position.

His heart calms at the knowledge that she is alive and at least unharmed enough to be conscious and aware.

He hears footsteps coming towards him and then a gunshot. He steps out into a hallway. Jahiri is facing away, gun pointed at Callen, who is further down the hall, gun pointed back at Jahiri.

Deeks hits the floor, getting out of Callen's line of fire on instinct.

Callen fires and hits Jahiri, who drops his weapon, but half turns and reaches for another gun hidden from Callen's view beneath his jacket. Although his face is turned towards Callen still, his upper body is mostly turned towards Deeks. And the way his hand is reaching for his gun, would appear to Callen like he's reaching for the source of pain from Callen's bullet.

Deeks is in the best tactical position because Jahiri doesn't know he's there. He fires and hits Jahiri dead centre in the chest before he can turn his second gun on Callen.

Callen hurries forward, clearly taking in the presence of the second weapon, and takes a moment to feel for a pulse. When there isn't one, he stares up at Deeks.

"Oh, come on. What? You had some Superman double back flip where you can dodge bullets? I mean, you can't tell me I shouldn't have taken that shot."

Callen nods. "No. I'm glad you did."

"We clear?" Sam asks, joining them. He's calm and collected, so Deeks assumes Kensi is unharmed.

"We're clear," Callen confirms.

"Good. Kensi confirmed it was the four guys. Eric's got an ambulance on its way."

Deeks feels his heart start thumping again. "Is she okay?" He moves forward.

"Kensi's fine," Sam says. "Ben Darva took a beating."

He does his best to stifle his reaction, but he needs to see his wife. He passes Sam and finds Kensi standing in a living room, struggling against a rope tying her hands together. Across from her, Ben Darva is semi-conscious, sitting propped against a couch, clutching his abdomen.

Deeks hesitates, knowing the man needs medical attention, while every cell in his body is pulling him towards his wife. She meets his eyes and nods at him, telling him she's okay. He slows at Ben Darva, but the man waves him off.

Deeks continues towards Kensi. "You good?" He asks quietly, trying to keep the waver out of his voice.

"I'm fine."

He nods, knowing she needs to be able to be fine right now. He steps behind her, and runs his fingers down her forearm. The moment he touches her, she stops struggling against the rope. It takes him a moment, but he manages to undo the knot and release her hands.

Her body shudders slightly when she's finally released. She covers for it well, and he thinks Callen and Sam, who have now joined them in the room, probably don't notice. But Deeks knows her better than anyone else in the world. So he notices everything.

His heart settles as he watches her calm herself now that she's no longer restrained. Other than a little rope burn, she is unharmed. He doesn't know what he'd do without her and he's determined to never find out.

She rubs one wrist and then the other, taking a moment to collect herself. "Thanks," she mumbles to him.

"Call it even for the Fern thing?" He jokes, trying to give her reason to smile.

He's rewarded when her lips curl upwards. "Not even close."

He smiles at that, and is happy when Callen also smiles and Sam's brow furrows. "The Fern thing?"

00

The ambulance shows up quickly to take Ben Darva to the hospital for emergency surgery. Kensi rides with him. Callen and Sam stay at the newest crime scene while Deeks rounds up Aubrey Darva and drives her to the hospital in Kensi's SRX to be close to her stepfather. He drops her with Kensi and then heads to wait by the car.

He spends half an hour sitting in the vehicle with the windows down, stressing over how the situation could have ended and how his day is going to end, before getting out and jumping up onto the hood to lean against the windshield. The car is hot underneath him, but the air is much cooler. He dons his sunglasses and closes his eyes, trying to relax.

He's in the same position when Kensi finds him.

He hears her laugh first, but he doesn't move. Then she sets a cup of coffee down on his forehead, before carefully removing his sunglasses and dropping them onto his chest.

He reaches up for the cup of coffee. "Thanks."

She leans her right hip against the car so she's facing him and rests her forearm on his knee. His free hand finds her wrist and his fingers dance over the rough skin where the rope had rubber her.

"It was a long night," she says, raising her own large cup of coffee. She doesn't say anything about his touch, but makes no move to stop him or move her arm from his reach.

He reaches his cup towards hers. "To our first official case together."

She smiles and clinks her cup against his. "To our first official case together," she echoes. Her eyes sparkle as she takes a sip.

He takes a sip of his coffee and then switches hands to thread the fingers of his right hand through hers. He closes his eyes for a long moment, wishing he could joke with her and make her laugh after her experience today. Wishing he wasn't about to hurt her when all he wants to do is make her life better every moment of every day.

She immediately takes in his subdued mood and shakes her head. "It wasn't that bad, was it?"

He offers her a warm smile and squeezes her had. "No. It wasn't bad. Sam still hates me. Although sometimes he's helpful and friendly, so I don't know. And Callen seems okay. I think I just have to prove myself to him."

Kensi nods along.

"And Eric seems cool. And I think I'm already on Nate's good side."

She nods again.

"And I like the office. And even the liaising wasn't too bad. After yesterday morning, of course."

"You know it doesn't matter what a few cops think."

"I know." He places his coffee down onto the hood of the car and turns to swing his legs off the car. Kensi shifts to stay out of the way as she stands, but remains close, not letting go of his hand.

He gently prises her cup from her hand and places it next to his. Then he reaches with his free hand to cup her face. "I love you so much."

She presses against him. "I love you, too, Marty. And I'm okay. What happened this morning with the guy? That really doesn't happen very often."

"I was terrified for you," he answers honestly, allowing her to pull him off topic for a moment. "But I know you're okay." He drops her hand to cup her face with both of his hands for a moment. Then he runs his hands down her neck and across her shoulders, and then down her arms. "But it actually makes me feel a little better to know from experience how good your team is. And how dedicated they are to your safety."

Her hands find his hips. "I'm glad."

He wraps his arms around her and pulls her close. She comes easily, her hands shifting from his hips to the small of his back as she settles into the hug.

She "hmmms," happily. "I didn't realize how tired I was until right now," she tells him.

He closes his eyes and tries to ignore his own exhaustion. "Ne neither."

"All I want right now is to go home and curl up in bed and sleep for like twelve hours."

He tenses against her as his chest heaves. That is literally exactly what he wants as well.

But he can't have it.

She pulls back far enough to meet his eyes.

He's too tired and too upset to stop the moisture from welling in his eyes.

"Marty, what's wrong?"

He ducks his head to kiss her, hating himself for what he has to tell her, for what he has to do. To her and to _them_. He knows it's his job (for now). And he knows she'll understand (she's amazing). But he's so done with that life and he knows she is too. He just wishes desperately that they had more time together now. He presses his forehead to hers and reminds himself this is his last assignment. This will be the last time he has to leave her.

And then he whispers, "I can't come home tonight."

* * *

 _AN: Don't worry... He'll be back..._

 _Also, please don't hate me! This is how the episode ended. And just for your peace of mind, I won't be drawing out the rest of the season. There will be two chapters (I think) before we come to the end of season 1._


	21. Found

_**AN: I don't think I've ever had to do this before, but I'm officially putting in a warning for this chapter because we've arrived at *that* episode. If you're not familiar with the first season, this chapter/episode does involve the death of a main character - Dom. I hated myself for writing it...even if I knew it was going to happen before I started this story.**_

 _ **I know some readers are sensitive to these things, but I also thought Dom deserved a proper send off in this story. So, if you don't want to read 'that' part, read the first two sections and the last two sections. I've added a second line of "00" to notate when to stop reading and start again only if you want to avoid the sadder part. Also, the third to last section is a bit of Kensi at the funeral, so is sad, but past the death part, so may be okay. Anyway...read at your own decision and pace and all that. This is supposed to be fun and entertaining for me and for you, so the last thing I want is to upset anyone. The very last section is important, so I'd say at minimum, read that part...**_

 _ **On a brighter note, this story has surpassed the 100k words mark!**_

* * *

Episode 1.21 - Found.

Kensi wakes up without her husband. And then she leaves the house without her husband. Just like she had come home without him the night before.

Part of her is livid with the LAPD for sending him back undercover with so very little down time in the middle.

Another part understands that they had an in and had to take it.

She had a bad night. The two duelling parts of herself had kept her up fighting it out.

She's not sure which part is winning.

She gets to work early, runs until she can barely breath on a treadmill and then beats the crap out of a punching bag.

Her workout barely takes the edge off.

She showers and dresses for work. When she arrives at her desk, Callen and Sam are already there.

"No case?" She asks.

"Not yet," Callen says.

"Also, no Deeks," Sam says. "In two minutes, he's going to be late."

She could be reading into his tone that Sam is looking forward to Deeks being late, which may not be fair seeing as the senior agent may just be stating a fact. And also may actually be worried their new liaison is late on his second (third) day. But Kensi is pissed and tired and barely holding it together right now to hide any of it.

"He's not coming in," she says.

Both Callen and Sam look surprised. And also a little disappointed. That actually makes her feel a little better. She knows he made a good impression. He's a damn good cop and he deserves to know that. She only wishes he was home so she could tell him. But he's not home, so she makes a mental note to remember to tell him.

"He didn't seem like the type to scare off," Callen comments. He's not looking for answers, because as far as he's concerned, Kensi doesn't have any.

"Mr. Deeks has been recalled by the LAPD for an undercover assignment," Hetty announces, appearing to Kensi's right.

"Already?" Sam asks. And he actually seems concerned for their new liaison. "He just came off an assignment last week."

Hetty nods solemnly. "Unfortunately, yes. He was placed under last night. I was informed this morning." She takes a moment to look at each of her agents, and sends Kensi a sympathetic glance. "He will continue his work with us when he is finished with his assignment."

"LAPD's not sending us another liaison in the mean time?" Callen asks suspiciously.

Hetty shakes her head. "No, I believe Mr. Deeks is a good fit here. We will wait for his return."

Kensi watches at Callen considers Hetty for a long moment. "You requested him."

"I hand-picked everyone in this building, Mr. Callen."

"And you're saying there's not a single other cop in the entirety of the LAPD that could act as a liaison."

Kensi feels a touch of worry in her chest that her husband will come back to find he's been replaced. She turns to Hetty, but finds the older woman staring back at Callen.

"I'm sure the LAPD is full of good police men and women."

"But you wanted Deeks."

"Mr. Deeks is our liaison. And we will wait for his return."

"But he's on assignment for an indefinite period of time. And you're not concerned about us having a replacement liaison in the mean time. Which basically means we don't need a liaison," Callen surmises with a smirk. "You don't want him as a liaison. You want him as an agent."

This catches Kensi by surprise. Her eyes snap to Hetty, but the older woman keeps her reaction in check.

"You knew who he was," Callen continues. "During the Zuna case last week; you knew who he was. You've been watching him for a while."

Hetty nods once. "There is value in being patient."

Callen nods. "So we wait."

"So, we wait."

00

And Kensi does.

She settles in for a long wait, knowing her husband's case is important and will take at minimum several months. Despite her unhappiness at the situation, she knows what her husband is doing is important and will save innumerable innocent lives.

She also does find some comfort in the knowledge that after this last case, he's home for good and they can finally stop hitting pause on their life together.

She goes to work every day, alone. She goes home each night, alone. She spends her evenings looking at houses online, wondering if her husband would like the same ones she likes and hate the same ones she hates.

She has dinner with her mother once a week and tells her about their plans to buy a starter house. Julia is happy and supportive for her daughter. Her friend is a realtor and Julia offers to introduce them when Marty gets home from his assignment.

When he's been gone for a month with no end in sight, Julia offers to introduce the realtor to Kensi now. She suggests even looking at a few houses on her own may bring up her mood.

Kensi thanks her mother, but declines the offer. She can't fathom the thought of doing any of it without her husband to share the experience with.

Deeks had barely been home for a weekend when he was send back undercover. They had gone grocery shopping while he was home, but she quickly ate through what they had bought. She makes another trip on her own when she's out of food, knowing he'd be proud of her. But eventually the effort to keep going on such a regular basis is just not worth it.

She falls back into her habits of eating takeout and spending half her nights falling asleep on the couch.

00

00

It's early one morning after she's spent her night on the couch that she's awoken by her cell phone ringing. She groans as she comes awake and swipes three times at the coffee table before she is able to locate her cell phone.

She clears her throat as she glances at the caller ID. She gets called in during the night often enough that middle of the night phone calls don't cause her to panic. But they send her heart racing each time her husband is undercover.

The caller ID tells her it's Eric. Her heart calms.

"Yeah?" She mumbles into the phone.

"Kensi," he says, and his tone of voice catches her attention immediately, causing her to sit up. "We got something."

Her heart starts thumping in her chest again. "Dom?"

"There's a video," he says shakily.

"I'm on my way."

She hangs up the call and leaps off the couch. She strips off the sweatpants and tank top she had slept in on her way to the bedroom and then pulls on jeans and a tee shirt. She uses the bathroom, brushes her teeth, and then heads for the door. She grabs her wallet, sig and keys.

She's in her car less than five minutes after the call.

When she pulls into the parking area at the mission, Sam pulls in behind her. She waits for him at the door.

"You know anything?" He asks as they enter the mission together and head straight up to OPs.

She shakes her head. "Eric just said there was a video."

When they reach OPs, Callen and Hetty are already there.

Hetty nods solemnly at both of them. Kensi takes that as a bad sign. "How bad is it?"

"Bad," Eric says.

The doors open and Nate steps in, looking dishevelled and rushed, but completely awake and ready to tackle whatever he needs to tackle to help Dom.

Kensi hopes her partner knows how much he means to this team and how much each of them are willing to do to bring him home.

Hetty motions for Eric to play the video. "This appeared on a known jihadist website less than an hour ago," she tells them.

The video plays. Two men with their faces covered stand behind a third man who is kneeling with his upper body bent forward and face downward. Despite his posture, Kensi is pretty sure the man is her partner.

Sam translates the terrorist's words for the team. They want their leader released within twenty four hours.

If not, they will execute Dom.

They raise Dom's head and there is no doubt he is the man kneeling on the floor.

"Oh my God, Dom," Kensi whispers. The video stops on a freeze frame of Dom with a knife to his throat. And all she can do is stare.

Sam turns away, clearly needing a moment.

"Eric?" Callen prompts, apparently the only one of the three remaining field agents who can focus in this moment.

"The video was uploaded in an internet cafe in Rabat, Morocco. I don't have anything else."

"Strip the hell out of that footage. Anything you can get."

Eric nods. "Already working on it."

Callen moves to leave OPs, which triggers both Kensi, Sam and Nate to follow. He barks out orders to everyone to research, gather information and find out what the hell they are suddenly up against.

"What about Dom's family?" Kensi cuts in.

"What about them?" Sam asks.

"Shouldn't we contact them?" She knows it won't actually help their case, but also knows if she was in their position she would want to know. If it were her loved one missing, she would want to know if there was even the slightest glimmer of hope.

"And tell them what?" Callen asks.

"Your son's not dead yet, but he's about to be executed?" Sam cuts in before she can respond.

She shoots them both a look. She knows Callen doesn't have a family, so he just simply doesn't understand. But Sam does have a family, so he should understand.

"At the very least they could be praying," she says. She knows Dom was not overly religious, but he had told her he grew up in a religious household. She knows his parents and his sister will appreciate knowing he is still alive now, even if that changes tomorrow. "They deserve to know. Dom would want them to know."

Callen accepts her stance with a nod. "Nate, will you speak with them?"

Nate nods. "I'll call them now."

"Good." Callen nods again. "Hopefully by the time we talk with Dom's family it will be to tell them he's been found safe and sound."

Unfortunately, Callen's optimism does not win them any points or luck as they struggle through the next several hours. At each step there are no answers, only more questions.

Hetty calls in every contact and favour she is owed.

Eric practically works his fingers raw typing so hard looking for information.

Eventually a picture surfaces of the terrorist group in question. In the background, Sam makes a startling discovery. One of the teenagers in the photo is a boy named Mo whom he had saved from the Sudan as a child and brought to the US. He had gotten close to the wrong people through a youth centre and disappeared not long before Dom was abducted.

Dawn turns to day and then day to dusk to night as they track Mo's involvement.

Time is running out as they track the man who funded the recruitment of Mo and other boys from the youth centre. He's thought to be behind Dom's abduction and funding of the terrorist group. Unfortunately, he's rich and influential in Los Angeles. He's firewalled himself by surrounding himself with lawyers.

With less than an hour until the deadline, and desperate to help Dom, the team plans an abduction of their own. They will grab Kalil Abramson, the man responsible, under the ruse of extraordinary rendition and transportation to a black site for 'questioning' in the desperate hope that fear will cause him to talk. Hetty has teams on standby worldwide near the most likely locations Dom is being held. As soon as they have a location for Dom, the closest team will make their move to get him out.

They track Kalil's phone to an old theatre under renovation. Eric tells them Kalil owns the theatre under the guise of restoring it and turning it in a center for the performing arts.

Kensi, Callen and Sam make their way into the theatre. It's quiet and immediately clear no work is currently being done or has been done in some time towards any restoration project.

They are still together and on the main floor when they hear a series of gunshots from above.

The three agents draw their weapons, but glance uneasily at one another. The shots were not close to them. As far as they know, no one knows they are here. And as far as they know, no one by Kalil is here.

Callen calls the shots into Eric, who begins looking for any surveillance cameras he can tap into.

The team moves off of the main floor and heads up. Regardless of what's going on with Kalil, they need him to talk and they need him to talk now. Dom's time is running out.

When they reach the upper floor, they split up.

Kensi heads silently down a corridor towards the back of the building. She clears two rooms, but when she enters the third, her blood runs cold.

"Oh, my God," she mutters as she recognizes the room. It's the same room from the video she had seen a little less than twenty four hours earlier. It's the same room _Dom_ had been in less than twenty four hours earlier.

"Kensi, what is it?" Callen asks over the comms.

"I'm in the room where they were holding Dom... This is where they shot the video. Callen, he never left LA."

"I've got Dom!" Eric interrupts them both. "He's on the roof. Dom's on the roof. I have him on camera feed from the roof next door."

"Mo's here, too," Sam says into the comm. "I'm heading for the roof."

Kensi immediately backs out of the room, her mission having changed from finding Kalil to finding her partner. "Eric, are they shooting at him?"

"Uh...I don't think so? I can't see anyone else up there. He's... He's running from a staircase. Maybe he escaped?"

"That's my partner," she mumbles as she finds the stairs and makes her way up towards the roof as quickly as she can while covering herself.

"I got him," Sam announces into the comms. "I got Dom. He's alive."

Kensi feels a wave of relief as she hurries up the stairs as fast as she can while still making sure to check around each turn. A minute goes by before they hear from Sam again. "I'm with Dom," he says this time. "We're taking cover on the roof. Active shooter. Northwest corner."

"I'm on it, Sam," Kensi says into her comm. "On the stairs leading to that door."

She's on the last set of stairs when Sam calls desperately through the comms, "Dom's been hit. He's down. Dom is down."

Kensi makes it to the top of the stairs and breaches the door. There is a man with a machine gun shooting down at Sam and Dom, but she takes him by surprise with two perfectly aimed shots. He drops his weapon and his body falls down the stairs. She steps out cautiously in time to see Callen shoot Kalil on the other side of the roof.

"Kalil's down," he announces. "Kensi?"

"All clear!" She calls back. The door had brought her out a service door two flights of stairs above the roof her team is on. It gives her a good tactical view.

He motions for Kensi to cover the roof and then runs towards Sam and Dom. Kensi can't see any of the three of them behind a large, commercial vent.

She swallows hard and her chest heaves as adrenaline races through her body. There is no activity on the roof. She glances down the stairs that would take her to the roof level from the door she has come out of the stair well at, but there is a large gate chained shut between the first and second story of stairs. She is stuck; isolated from her team. She keeps her weapon drawn, just in case.

"Callen, status?" She requests. No response.

"Eric, status?" She tries, knowing he may have a better angle than her as to what is happening with her partner.

No response.

She taps at the communication device in her ear, but is satisfied it is in and working.

"Where's the damned medevac?" She hears Sam ask through the comm.

"On its way," Eric answers. "Less than two minutes out."

Kensi swallows hard. If Sam is that worried, things are not good. If no one is answering her, it's because they don't know what to tell her. She strains her neck, but cannot see anything. She glances around the roof again, just to make sure she is keeping a careful watch for her team, but there is no movement.

And then Callen steps out from behind the vent and her heart sinks.

He meets Kensi's eyes from the distance and he shakes his head.

It's all she needs to know.

Her partner is already dead.

Her legs weaken under her and she grabs the railing before sitting down. She's clutching her sig in one hand and her head in the other as she's overwhelmed with grief.

They had been so close. She had really thought they would save him.

Her chest heaves and she feels the tears well in her eyes. She does nothing to stop them as they fall to the ground.

She closes her eyes and sobs as she gives into the grief of the loss of her partner.

The rhythmic thumping of a helicopter sounds from close by and she looks up. It's the medevac called for Dom. She stands and watches from her perch as Callen waves it off. It hovers for a moment, uncertain, and then Eric clearly reports it's no longer needed. It banks slightly and flies away.

It makes her angry. Because Dom had _deserved_ to live. She turns and walks down the stairs as far as she can get before the locked gate and dead body. She secures her gun in the waistband of her jeans and climbs over the railing. She climbs down until she's close to the stair below and then releases herself.

Her landing is a jarring, and she twists her ankle a bit, but she catches herself before falling down the stairs. She then strides across the roof towards her partner.

Callen meets her at the vent, which had been blocking her view.

"It's bad, Kens," he says quietly. His normally bright blue eyes are dulled with pain.

She shakes her head. "He was my partner," she says back.

Callen nods and squeezes her arm before stepping out of her way.

Her heart constricts when she sees him. His body is prone and the colourless clothing he's wearing is soaked in brilliant red from his multiple gunshot wounds. Callen and Sam have clearly tried their very best to save him, evidenced by the makeshift tourniquet and multiple bloody handprints from keeping pressure. But the size of the blood pool surrounding him tell Kensi everything she needs to know. There would have been no saving her partner, even if they'd had medical attention standing by.

Sam is still kneeling, defeated, by Dom's side. Kensi kneels down on his other side.

"Dom," she whispers. Despite the blood, she reaches to place a hand on the centre of his chest. She wishes she could turn back the clock and save him. She wishes he had never been taken from them. She wishes that even if he had to die that she had been able to be there with him. She was his partner and she had let him down. "I'm so sorry."

"I thought we had him," Sam says without lifting his head from its defeated position.

"I'm sorry I didn't make it up the stairs faster," she tells him. "I should have been able to take out the shooter faster."

Sam looks up sharply. "You plugged the shooter at that end of the roof, Kensi. It was Kalil who shot him."

She feels just a touch of relief at that news. Maybe she couldn't be with her partner in his last moments, but at least she can't blame herself for him getting shot.

Sam shakes his head. "Kalil was aiming for me. Dom jumped in front of me."

She feels a new batch of tears spring to her eyes. Dom had always been so desperate to prove himself. And here he had, in both the best and worst possible way. "He's a hero."

Sam nods.

Kensi pats Dom's chest before removing her hand. "You're a hero, Dom," she whispers.

00

A week later, Kensi finds herself dress in a black skirt and dark blouse, wanting to disappear.

She hates funerals.

They remind her of the darkest parts of her life. But Dom was her partner and she wouldn't miss this for anything.

The week had been dark. Her worst since starting at OSP. They hadn't taken on any new cases. Sam had spent most of the week in the gym beating a punching bag. Kensi had spent much of the week in the shooting range. Callen disappeared frequently, though Kensi didn't know where he disappeared to.

Nate was an overly familiar presence, trying to press the field agents to talk, though Kensi could tell he was struggling with the loss himself.

The only thing she wanted to help herself get through this was her husband. She knows if he were home, he'd be doing everything in his power to be there for her. Unfortunately, he was who knows where and out of contact and quite possibly didn't even know about Dom's death.

When she had gotten home that first night, she had showered until the water turned ice cold and then crawled into bed wearing only her husband's tee shirt, wanting as much comfort as possible. When she had finally drifted to sleep, she had dreamt he came home to be with her. But when she had woken up, she had been alone.

She had tried spending a night at her mother's, wanting to be around people and Monty, but her mom had asked too many questions Kensi hadn't been able to answer.

"How you holding up, Kens?" Callen asks, appearing to Kensi's right.

Kensi turns and offers Callen a shrug. "As well as can be expected, I guess. You?"

He nods. "About the same. Hate funerals, though."

She actually laughs. "I was just thinking exactly that."

"Dom would hate this."

"Agreed."

"At least it's a nice day."

She nods. The service is being held outdoors. It's sunny, but not too hot. "I kind of can't believe it's been a week already."

"Me neither. But it's good. We need to move forward. You lost your partner and I feel like I'm losing mine."

He doesn't have to explain further for her to know what he's talking about. "It wasn't Sam's fault," she states. "I don't know how to convince him of that. I've tried."

"You've tried. I've tried. Nate's tried. Everyone has tried."

"Maybe he just needs some time, Callen."

"I hope so." Callen pulls his phone from his jacket pocket to glance at the time. He frowns. "I'm going to call him, make sure he's on his way."

She nods and Callen steps away and over to a quiet area.

Kensi runs her right hand over her left, wishing she could be wearing her rings. She can't have her husband with her right now, but her rings would offer just a hint of comfort in their reminder of Marty. She glances around at the amassing family and friends. There is a couple not much older than herself a little ways away with two sad young girls. Kensi's heart clenches because she knows without a doubt that the girls are Dom's nieces. Their mother catches Kensi's eye with a questioning look.

Kensi hesitates before walking carefully over to the young family.

"Hi," she says to the woman who looks sad, but strong. "You must be Sarah."

The woman nods. "Yes, hi..."

"Kensi," she says, introducing herself. "I'm..." She trails off before trying again. "I was Dom's partner."

Sarah visibly reacts to the news, but then offers Kensi a smile. "It's really nice to meet you. Dom didn't get to tell us much about what he was doing. But he said he'd met some really nice people."

"It's nice to meet you, too. He talked a lot about his family." She offered the older woman a sad smile. "He had lots of good things to say." She looked down at the two little girls. "And you two must be Dom's favourite nieces?" She asks, knowing they are his only nieces.

They both nod.

"Your Uncle Dom was so proud to be your uncle, did you know that?"

They both shake their heads.

"Well, he was. I think his most prized possessions were the drawings you used to send him."

This makes the girls smile and glance up at their mom. Sarah has tears in her eyes, but smiles at Kensi. She mouths 'thank you.'

Kensi nods and excuses herself.

She quickly locates Nate, who appears resigned to be at the funeral.

They make the same small talk she and Callen had made.

"At least it's a nice day," Kensi says.

"Funny that people always mention that?" Nate comments. "You'd think bad weather would be more fitting for a funeral."

"Isn't it supposed to be celebration of life?"

Nate eyes her. "Do you really believe that?"

"No."

He sighs. "Me neither; not right now, anyway."

They both fall silent.

"It's nice that so many people came," he says.

"Yup," she agrees.

"And lots of people sent flowers," Nate comments.

"I hate flowers."

He eyes her for a moment. "You hate flowers," he echoes, as if he's hearing her for the first time.

"This is not new information, Nate," she points out.

"No, I just always thought you were being..." He shakes his head and trails off. "I thought the attention embarrassed you when you were dating," he says with a wry smile. "But you weren't ever dating or interested in dating?"

She shakes her head, not quite smiling back, but also not quite not smiling.

"But you actually hate them," he continues.

"I hate them like this." She motions towards the multiple arrangements. They look beautiful now, all freshly cut and perfectly set, but she knows they will wither and die in a matter of days.

"Because of your dad's funeral when you were a teenager?" Nate questions.

She sighs and runs a hand through her hair. "Yup."

"I'm sorry I didn't put that together before."

"You don't need to psychoanalyze me and my hatred of flower arrangements," Kensi points out.

"No," he hedges, "But it must have been a hard time for you."

"I really don't want to talk about this now, Nate."

"Of course. Sorry." He pauses. "Have you heard from Deeks?"

She sighs. "No. And I don't expect to. He probably doesn't even know about Dom. And even if he does, he shouldn't risk breaking his cover to contact me."

Nate nods. "Understandable. Do you have any idea when he'll be home? Do you get to know that kind of information?"

She shakes her head. "It's going to be a long one. And it's only been a month. Probably at least a couple more months to go. But I don't get to be in the loop. He'll just show up at home one day."

"That's not easy."

"No." She stares at him for a moment. "It's his last assignment," she tells Nate. "After this one he's home for good. We can finally stop hitting pause on our life."

"That's something to look forward to."

She stares around at the sad and grieving faces. "It's about the only thing keeping me moving forward right now."

00

00

 _Kensi curled herself into the corner of the couch and stared at the Christmas tree across the room. With less than a week to Christmas, it was fully decorated and adorned with a small pile of presents. They had discussed splurging and buying a new tree this year, for their first Christmas as a married couple, but they'd both grown fond of the slightly decrepit tree from their first two Christmases together._

 _It wasn't that cold out, but she pulled her blanket tighter around her shoulders, looking for comfort rather than warmth._

 _She'd been okay for most of the day. She'd woken early and left the small apartment before her husband was awake, knowing he'd gotten home late the night before from one of his part time jobs. She'd worked at one of her jobs until early afternoon before heading home._

 _It was the quiet, empty apartment and perfectly prepared tree that had set her off._

 _She'd changed into lounge clothes and curled herself up on the couch._

 _She had a good life. And she was building a good future. And she'd found a man who loved her as much as she loved him. But still, she missed her dad._

 _She sniffed as a handful of silent tears streak down her cheeks._

 _A year earlier, she was able to be happy and celebrate the holidays. She had been overwhelmed with the knowledge that Marty Deeks was 'the one.' It had boosted her spirit and confirmed her decision to commit to him._

 _She wasn't sure why it seemed harder this year than the last. Another year passed should make it easier, not harder, right?_

 _She sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. She ran the fingers of her right hand over the rings adorning her left. She hadn't had either ring this time last year._

 _She had definitely felt her father's absence when she had gotten married. But she'd also known her father would have been happy for her. He may not have approved of Marty's haircut, but he would have approved of everything else._

 _The door cracked open across the small living room and her eyes opened. She watched as her husband made his way into the apartment. He slipped off his shoes and turned to her._

 _"You're home early," she commented. She hadn't expected him home from work for at least another hour._

 _He padded towards her with a soft smile and sat beside her on the couch. "I wanted to be here with you today."_

 _She felt tears sting her eyes again. "You remembered what today is?"_

 _He nodded. "Of course." He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pressed a kiss to the side of her head._

 _"It's been five years," she whispered as she leaned into his comfort._

 _He sighed and hugged her a little closer. "I know."_

 _"I really miss him today," she admitted._

 _"I know you do." He kissed her head again. "And wherever he is, Kens, he's proud of you."_

 _"I hope so."_

 _"I know so," he insisted. "You're smart. And beautiful. And have a little bit of an attitude," he said, which succeeded in making her laugh. "And you're so strong. No matter what happens, you keep moving forward."_

 _She turned into him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I think you're what's keeping me moving forward right now."_

 _He hugged her tight. "I'll always be there for you, Kens. I'll always keep you moving forward."_

00

The day after the funeral, Kensi goes to work. It's still quiet and caseless. The only change is the alien bobble head that had been sitting vigil on Dom's desk for the four months he had been missing is now gone. No one mentions it's absence.

She uses the gym and the shooting range. They have no paperwork left to catch up on. Hetty sends them home early. Their operations manager has been acting strange since Dom's death, but Kensi can't bring herself to push the older woman. Everyone is struggling. Maybe she just needs time.

Kensi heads home and collapses onto the couch. The mountain of stuff on the coffee table has grown to the point where it is overflowing onto the floor. She knows she should tidy up. And soon. But she just doesn't have the energy to care.

She watches an hour of bad television as she eats cold leftovers from the fridge. The food is pretty tasteless, but she hasn't exactly been hungry lately.

When her phone rings, she groans, thinking it could only be work calling her back in.

The caller ID is not a number she recognizes.

"Hello?" She answers.

"Hi, is this Kensi?" A female voice that Kensi vaguely recognizes asks.

"Uh, who is this?" Kensi counters.

"This is Jessica Traynor."

Kensi immediately sits up as her memory connects the familiar voice with the name. She's suddenly on alert, concerned her husband's handler is calling her with bad news. "Yes, Jess, hi. Is everything okay?"

"Everything is fine," Jess says casually. "I just wondered if you...wanted to come by this evening?"

Kensi feels her brow furrow. She had met the detective a few times at LAPD functions and she was friendly, but they had never interacted outside of those functions.

"We have a friend in common, who would love to see you," Jess adds.

Kensi feels her breath catch as she suddenly understands exactly what is going on. Her husband is reaching out to her through his handler because he can't call her himself.

"Sounds great," Kensi says, playing along. "What time?"

Jess gives Kensi her address and a time.

An hour later, Kensi leaves her apartment, on her way to see her husband.


	22. Hunted, Burned and Callen, G

_**AN: And we come to the end of season one! However, we won't be moving straight on to season two and Human Traffic. We'll be taking a minor break for 1-2 chapters for something special... (Which I've been working on for a while and am excited to finish).**_

 _ **For this chapter - technically after 'Found' there are 3 more chapters in the first season. Episode 1.22 (Hunted) is about the team finding the leader of the terrorist group who Dom was abducted to trade for. The episode is about closure, but I feel like we have some of that in other ways and also the focus of this story is not the team as a whole, but Kensi/Deeks. So, I didn't take much from that episode - only really that Director Vance is in town. And also in the episode there was a very quick shot of Nate looking like he was talking with/comforting Kensi, so I took that and ran with it a bit. Episodes 1.23 and 1.24 are featured minimally as well - they are both very Callen focused, so I summarised as best I could because the overall plot of Callen's history will loop around eventually.**_

 _ **Lastly - fun trivia about this story/episode if anyone cares to know it - When I was first trying to decide where to start this story, I remembered a scene from S1 where Kensi tells Sam about a man saying things to her in the bar the night before (like, 'nice boots, takes a girl with unique style to pull that off') and Sam tells her he had been running game on her. I had this idea that she and Deeks had met up at a bar the night before and he had jokingly said these things to her. I then watched the beginning of every S1 episode until I found it and was very disappointed when it turned out to have happened after Hand-to-hand (is the opening scene to episode 1.23 Burned).**_

* * *

Episodes 1.22 - Hunted, 1.23 - Burned and 1.24 - Callen, G.

When Kensi pulls up to Jess Traynor's house, she parks in the driveway and walks casually to the front door. She's not sure if anyone is watching, either bad guys or LAPD, but she's not giving Jess any cause to get into trouble for what Kensi is certain to be a handful of broken rules.

She knocks and waits. The door opens and Jess appears. She smiles warmly at Kensi as she ushers her in and shuts the door.

"Glad you could make it," Jess tells her. "Marty should be here soon."

Kensi takes in the tastefully decorated front hall and what she can see of the living room. "Thanks for doing this. I'm sure this breaks a lot of rules."

Jess shrugs. "I'm not the kind of handler who says no when one of my guys wants to be there for his wife." She offers Kensi a sympathetic smile. "He saw the notice about your partner in the newspaper. I'm sorry."

Kensi sniffs, but her eyes stay dry. "Thank you."

Jess's smile falters slightly as her eyes take on a far off appearance. "Sometimes you can't save everyone. No matter how hard you try."

Kensi hesitates before pressing. "You lost someone, too? Your partner?"

Jess shakes her head. "My cousin. She was kidnapped when we were kids. We were together, but I got away." She pauses. "Human traffickers."

Kensi nods in understanding.

"They killed her and dumped her body down in Mexico a year and a half later," Jess finishes.

"I'm sorry."

"Me, too. But it gave me a purpose. I'm going to take down as many of them as I possibly can."

Kensi actually smiles at her tenacity. "Good for you."

Jess cocks her head. "Most people tell me I should let it go - let her go - and live my life for me."

"You are living your life for you. _This_ is important to you. I get that." She pauses before telling her own story. "My father was murdered when I was fifteen. Case was never solved. He was a marine."

Jess nods. "So you joined NCIS."

"I'm going to solve his murder one day."

"I'm sure you are," Jess says.

Kensi smiles. She, too, is used to people telling her to let it go. "Thank you." They share a look of understanding.

Jess ushers her into the house. "Marty will be over as soon as he can get away. Do you want anything to drink?"

Five minutes later, they are settled on the couch in the living room, each with a glass of wine, comparing their jobs.

"I hated it my first year," Jess says. "Long nights. Shitty people. Low pay. Almost quit every day. And then in year two, I think I just...accepted this was my life. I'm not sure when I actually started to enjoy it."

Kensi nods. "My first couple years were hard. Had a lot of trouble fitting in, being young and not male."

They share an understanding smile.

"But the last few years have been much better. And you're right," she muses, "Somewhere along the way I actually started to enjoy it. You know, other than when things like this week happen."

Jess nods. "I hear you."

Kensi moves to respond, but there is a knock at the door.

"That should be Marty," Jess says. "Let me just make sure." She stands and heads for the front hall.

Kensi puts her glass down on the coffee table and stands. She listens as Jess opens the front door and greets her husband. And then, just like that, his familiar shaggy blond hair appears in the doorway to the living room.

"Marty," she whispers, walking towards him.

He meets her halfway across the floor. "Kens."

She falls into him, snaking her hands around his middle as his strong arms wrap around her. And for the first time in over a week, she actually feels some measure of comfort. Her hands grip the fabric of his shirt, wanting to be as close to him as possible.

Wanting to hold on and never let go.

Deeks presses his face into the crook of her neck and breathes. "I'm so sorry about Dom, Kens. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you."

She feels tears prick at her eyes and pulls herself even closer into him.

"I didn't know until yesterday. I saw the story in the newspaper." He pauses and breathes against her. "I was so shocked I almost broke cover," he admits. "I wanted so badly to be with you."

"I know."

He pulls back far enough to meet her eyes, and cups her face. His eyes search hers. "Are you okay?"

She shrugs and offers him a wobbly smile. "I'm a hell of a lot better now."

He leans in and kisses her soundly. Then he hugs her close again. "I'm so sorry," he says again.

"It's not your fault," she insists.

"But I could have been there for you."

"You needed to be where you were," she says. And then she pulls back and narrows her eyes at him. "Are you actually okay to be here right now? You're not risking your cover?"

He shakes his head. "It's fine."

"Marty," she warns.

He chuckles. "Really. I have my cover phone and they won't expect to see me until morning. Plus, my handler agreed to it."

Jess walks back into the room at that point, having given the couple a few minutes to themselves. "Agreed is a strong word, Marty."

He grins at her and then ducks his head when Kensi glares at him. He closes his grip around her and tugs her closer. She tries to keep glaring, but melts when he ducks his head to press a kiss to her temple.

"It really is okay," Jess assures. "Everything is going smoothly. And as long as you don't tell anyone at the LAPD on us, this shouldn't be a problem."

"I won't tell anyone," Kensi confirms.

Jess nods. "I'm going to head to bed early. You two stay as long as you want." She stops herself and points a finger at Deeks. "Within reason, Marty."

"Thanks, Jess," Deeks adds. "And I'll get back in time."

She nods. "And don't miss your check in on Tuesday."

He grins. "I won't."

"Thank you for this," Kensi says to her new friend.

"Not a problem." She smiles at Kensi. "You got one of the good ones, Kensi. You deserve some time together."

Jess excuses herself from the room before Kensi can respond.

Deeks smirks at his wife. "Apparently I'm one of the good ones."

Kensi smirks back at him. "She clearly doesn't know you that well."

He chuckles, but smiles like he's impressed with her comeback. "Ouch."

They move to settle on the couch together. Kensi rests her cheek on Deeks's shoulder and closes her eyes. He wraps his arms tight around her and sighs.

"How bad?"

She tells him about the video of Dom and the subsequent day spent panicked and searching for him. She tells him how they had found him in Los Angeles, how Sam had managed to get to him. She tells him how Dom had died a hero. She tells him she had been stuck up on the top of the stairs, isolated from her team and her dying partner.

She cries when she tells him she didn't get to say goodbye.

"He was my partner," she whispers. "I should have..." _Been there. Done something._

"I know he was," Deeks whispers back, running his hand up and down her spine. "I know you trusted him. I know how big a deal that is for you."

"I really thought we were going to save him."

He presses a kiss to the top of her head. "I know you did everything you could. And I'm sure Dom knew that."

She nods. "We did." She sniffs. "And Sam said... Sam said that before he got shot, Dom told him he knew we would find him." Sam had admitted that to her in the days following Dom's death. Though it apparently wasn't helping Sam to feel any better, it actually made Kensi feel a little better. Because her partner never gave up on his team. Dom had held on knowing they were looking for him.

"He never gave up hope that you were looking," Deeks points out.

"We never stopped."

He runs his hand up and down her spine. "How have you been coping?"

"Okay, I guess."

"Actually okay? Or Kensi-okay?"

She huffs a laugh. "Both?"

"I don't think you can be both." He presses a kiss to her head. "They are mutually exclusive states of mind to be in."

She laughs again, grateful to her husband for making her laugh. "I'm coping," she assures him. "I miss Dom. And I miss you. And I miss Monty. And I want you to come home so we can buy our house. And work sucks because Hetty is acting weird and Callen is out of sorts and Sam is blaming himself." She sighs. "But I'm holding on."

"I wish I could be home," he tells her.

"Do you have any idea how much longer you'll be away?" She's optimistic because Jess had said things were going well.

He sighs heavily, but answers honestly. "No. Could be months still." He pauses. "And we can't do this again."

She nods. She had already assumed that.

"But this is my last assignment," Deeks says, repeating the mantra that has been going through Kensi's head for the past month. "Then I'm home."

"Then you're home," she echoes. Despite knowing it will be some time before he's home, she does feel relief at the knowledge that once he's home, it will be for good.

He presses another kiss to her head. "I'm so sorry I'm not home now."

She lifts her head to meet his eyes. "Stop being sorry, okay? You are a good man, Marty Deeks. You're doing good work and I'm proud of you."

His eyes shine at her like they do every time she tells him she's proud of him.

"I love you," he tells her.

"I love you, too."

He reclines slightly on the couch and she rests against him. They spend the better part of an hour cuddled together murmuring about happier things. They talk about searching for a house together, about moving and painting and decorating. They talk about living a life where he's not pulled undercover at a moment's notice, throwing their life on pause. They talk about a life that's not put on hold for weeks and months at a time.

It's well past midnight when Deeks gently tells her he needs to get going.

She feels her eyes sting, but her chest is looser than it's been in a week. Just a couple hours with her husband and she's feeling stronger. She nods and sits up beside him.

He kisses her, long and hard. "It's almost over," he whispers when he pulls away.

She grips at the hair at the base of his skull and rests her forehead against his. "I'll see you soon," she tells him. "Be safe."

"You, too."

He asks her to wait twenty minutes before leaving, just on the very small off chance someone is watching him. She agrees, but follows him to the door and watches as he slips on his shoes.

"I love you, Kensi Deeks," he whispers, kissing her one more time and then pulling her into a tight hug.

"I love you, too, Marty Deeks," she tells him, hugging him back just as tight.

He presses a kiss to her temple and then releases her. With one last smile, he turns and lets himself out of the house.

Kensi feels her chest heave only once when the door shuts behind him. Yes, their life is on pause again for the foreseeable future, but this is the last time. She's been given the gift of time with her husband and she's all the stronger for it.

00

 _It was leading up to their second Christmas together that Kensi realized she was done._

 _She'd found what everyone was looking for; the person she was going to spend the rest of her life with._

 _There wasn't one significant event to cause her realization. She just woke up one morning and she_ knew.

 _She'd been living with him since late that summer. And though they'd struggled to adapt to sharing the small studio apartment, she was happy she'd made the choice instead of spending another year in student residence._

 _She was_ happy _with him. He knew how to make her smile and laugh like no one had for a long time. And he supported her. He knew about her plans and ambitions and instead of being off put by them, he made his plans alongside hers._

 _She'd be a fed and he'd be a lawyer._

 _Despite his continued claims that he would never be a criminal defense attorney, he still jokingly liked to caution her that he may end up representing the bad guys she ends up arresting. It makes her laugh and roll her eyes every time. But it also makes her smile; because he's never so much as blinked at her planned career choice._

 _And more recently, when she seriously cautioned him that being a fed may mean moving around, he had shrugged and offered her a smile and told her Public Defenders' offices were notoriously understaffed so he could get a job wherever she was. He wasn't afraid to commit to her_ or _her expected lifestyle._

 _They lived together and partied together and enjoyed college life in their free time. But they were also both very committed to their studies, Kensi being in her second year of college and Deeks in his first year of law school. They supported each other in their studies and in studying itself. Kensi was pretty sure she could pass his law tests and he her criminology tests just from the study help alone._

 _After over a year with him, she was happy and content with her life. But then one morning, a week before Christmas and only days before the anniversary of her father's death, Kensi woke up._

 _And she realized she was actually looking forward to Christmas for the first time in four years._

 _She rolled over to face her boyfriend. It was early and he was still fast asleep beside her, his nose twitching slightly. The morning air was cool, but his body was warm so she drew herself closer._

 _He mumbled something incomprehensible and then sighed, slinging his arm around her waist._

 _Kensi smiled against his clavicle as she closed her eyes, her nose pressed into the crook of his neck. He made her feel safe and validated and cherished. Like her heart mattered as much as her dreams. And like all of her plans would fall into place simply because he loved her._

 _And like the anniversary of her father's death didn't have to overshadow what had once been a happy holiday for her. The previous year had been a taste of what Christmas could be like with him. But their relationship had been so new and so fragile, and they had both been hiding the dark parts of themselves._

 _Now the dark parts had seen light and the weight was being shared by the other. She knows everything she needs to know and she knows he feels the same._

 _She doesn't want to hide herself away this year on the anniversary of her father's death. Not from him._

 _And she wants to celebrate Christmas._

 _Their little studio apartment is already decorated._

 _Deeks had kept the slightly decrepit tree from the previous year, which was sitting proudly by the window next to her third fern plant. They'd added a couple strands of garland to the curtain rods. And a late night study break had led to a competition between the two of who could cut out the best paper snowflake. The winners and losers had been taped up around the apartment with pride._

 _Her heart actually ached with how happy it made her._

 _With how happy_ he _made her._

 _She pulled a little closer and pressed a kiss to his clavicle. "I'm done, Marty," she whispered into the cool morning._

00

The next morning, Kensi drags herself from bed. After visiting with her husband far past midnight, she got too few hours of sleep by the time she got home. Not that she was complaining. She wouldn't trade that precious time with Marty for anything.

She gets to work with minutes to spare. Sam is already dancing his daily routine with the punching bag. Callen is at his desk, scowling as he types into his laptop.

"Morning," Kensi greets.

He looks up at her and nods. "Morning, Kensi."

"No case?"

"No case." He motions up the stairs with his head. "Director is here. He and Hetty are in OPs."

She frowns. "Why is he here?"

"Your guess is as good as mine."

Before she can respond, Vance makes his way down the stairs, Nate on his heels. Nate nods to Kensi and Callen, but keeps his distance and heads down the hall. Vance makes his way over to their desks.

"Agent Callen, Agent Blye," he greets.

"Director Vance," Kensi greets, echoing Callen.

"How are you both doing?"

Beside her, Callen shrugs.

Kensi offers the director a small smile. "We're doing okay."

Vance nods. "Good to hear."

They fall into silence.

Kensi swallows hard, uneasy. She glances at Callen, who is staring up at the director from his seat.

"Is there something going on that we should know about?" Callen finally asks.

"Like what?"

"It's just been a while since you've been out here for a visit," Callen responds. "Makes me wonder if there's something going on."

Vance sighs and turns his attention away from them for a moment. He spies a chair and moves to pull it closer and sit across from Kensi and Callen.

"I'm just here to see how you're all doing," he answers Callen's question. "Your team has been through a lot. I thought it warranted a visit."

Kensi nods along. From what she can tell, Vance isn't hiding any motives.

"We appreciate it, Sir," Kensi says.

Callen nods.

"Is there anything I can do to help get this team past the loss of Agent Vail?"

Kensi exchanges a glance with Callen.

"We just need to move forward," Kensi says. Had the director shown up one day earlier, she may not have had the confidence to state her opinion. But, just like he promised all those years ago, Deeks was helping to keep her moving forward. He had gotten to her at just the right time. Because it was just like she and Callen had talked about at the funeral. They don't need to move _on_ , but they need to move forward.

Callen nods his agreement. "We need to be open to new cases," he tells the director. "In this business, you can't sit around and dwell."

Vance nods. "I'll keep that in mind and try to help get your team cleared soon. I assume all the paperwork is in order?" He asks, though his tone tells them both he doesn't believe it for one moment.

"It's not a requirement that after action reports are complete prior to taking on another case," Callen points out.

"I wasn't talking about after action reports, Agent Callen," Vance says. "After a loss like this one, it is required that each team member is properly debriefed and assessed by the operational psychologist. The reports need to be filed before the team can be cleared for full duty."

Kensi had never been on a team who had lost a member like this, so this was actually news to her. But the look on Callen's face told her he was well aware.

"We really don't have the need or the time-"

"I beg to differ, Agent Callen," Vance says. "The health of my agents - physical or emotional - is a top priority. And you have time right now, do you not?"

Callen sighs.

The last thing Kensi wants is a psychological assessment. But at least it's Nate. And at least she doesn't have to hide parts of herself with him anymore.

"Have any of your team had their assessment?" Vance presses carefully.

"Not yet," Callen answers.

Kensi glances at her stressed team leader. She knows he's dealing not only with Dom's death, but Sam's extreme reaction. He's worried about his partner and he's worried about the future of his team. The least she can do is get the ball rolling on something she's going to have to do anyway. Just like she told the director; they need to move forward.

"I can go this morning if Nate has time," she says out loud.

Callen looks to her in surprise.

Kensi shrugs. "Gotta get it done, right?"

He meets her eyes for a moment before nodding his appreciation, understanding what she's doing. If she goes first and then maybe Callen follows, they should be able to convince Sam to follow as well.

Five minutes later, Kensi makes her way down the hall to Nate's office. The door is ajar, but she knocks before pushing it open.

He looks up from his desk and the look on his face tells her he knows exactly why she's here.

"You draw the short straw?" He attempts a joke as he motions to the seat opposite his desk.

She rolls her eyes as she sits. "I volunteered."

He raises an eyebrow, but then smiles when he realizes she's telling the truth. "Why?"

She sighs, wishing all of his psych questions didn't have to be so damn difficult to answer. "Have to get it done at some point, right? Why put it off?"

"It's never stopped you before," he points out. "You all have a tendency to avoid debriefings."

She sits back in the chair and crosses her arms. "I just... We need to move forward."

"And what does that mean to you?"

She shifts in the chair. "Can't we just get to the assessment?"

"Come on, Kensi," he presses gently.

She sighs. "What if I say the wrong thing?"

He shakes his head. "No such thing. Not here. Not to me."

"I can't...get the team in trouble?"

He frowns. "What you think or say about yourself and the team are your opinions. It's my job to use that to focus on you, not to adopt your opinions as my own. If the team is in trouble, that's not going to be your fault."

She nods and uncrosses her arms as she sits forward. "We need to move forward," she repeats. "We're stuck in limbo right now, and that's not helping anyone. Sam blames himself. Callen is stressed about Dom and the team _and_ Sam. If I at least go first, there's one less thing for Callen to stress about." She pauses. "And maybe it pushes him to go next. And then pushes Sam to follow us both."

Nate nods knowingly. "You need to move forward."

She nods.

"You said the team was stuck in limbo?"

She shrugs. "We can't get our minds off Dom and his case until we get a new case. I know it may sound...bad that I want to move forward. But it's not that I want to move on. Just forward. We need to feel like we can be effective; have a win."

"Very insightful." He pauses. "You seem to be stuck in more than one limbo right now."

Kensi frowns. "I thought this was about Dom."

Nate offers her a smile. "This is about _you_."

Instead of sitting back again, and re-crossing her arms to protect herself, she sits further forward and plunks her elbows down on the edge of Nate's desk, pressing into his space. She props her chin in her hands. "You're going to make me regret telling you about my life, aren't you?"

"Do you regret it now?" He asks carefully.

She considers for a moment and then shakes her head. "No, not really." She then considers her options for a moment before throwing him another bone. "It's actually nice that you know. I don't like having to hide the real me from everyone."

"The real you," he points out her words.

"Well...yeah." She shrugs. She's always seen the real Kensi as who she is at home with her husband. At work she wears a mask to hide the real her.

"You spent a couple years pretending to be single, when you had a husband at home," he recalls. "Is that the only part of yourself that you hid?"

"Yes and no. Hiding my marriage meant I had to...adopt a different persona. A lot of me is the same. But a lot is also different."

"Makes sense. Just like another undercover operation."

"Sort of." She nods.

"You said some of your bad date stories are drawn from actual dates you've been on with your husband. Did you draw on anything else true to you for the rest of your single persona?"

She sits back in the chair before she can help herself. She knows that Nate notices.

"You don't want to talk about it?" He surmises from her body language.

The boundaries of her comfort zone are being encroached upon, but she meant what she said. She wants to move forward. And if Nate thinks talking about this will help, she's going to have to try. "Marty's the best thing that ever happened to me," she says instead of answering Nate's question. "I'm happy and committed and everything now. And have been for a long time. But it was...difficult?" She tries the word to describe her feelings at the time. "When we met, I was young. We were young. And I was..."

"Scared?" Nate suggests gently.

"Not exactly." She runs a hand through her hair as she thinks back to those days in college. "I knew he was someone special pretty much right away. And then one day I just knew he was the one. And I was always determined." She releases a laugh. "Well, okay, yes. I was scared at first. And I almost lost out on _everything_ by being afraid. So, after I got a second chance, I was determined. And that made me less scared."

Nate nods along.

"But I definitely had...commitment fears?" She shrugs. "I didn't exactly have the best role model growing up. And that left a mark. I drew on that for my single persona. I mean, I was never _that_ bad. But I remember the feelings."

"You just made them _more_."

She nods.

"You did a good job hiding yourself," Nate tells her. "I mean, I know it must have been difficult for you, but you did a good job. Callen and Sam will be proud when they find out the truth."

She sits forward again. "You think so?"

"Are you worried they'll be upset?"

She hesitates before nodding. "A little," she admits. She's developed a bit of a family with her team and she doesn't want to lose that feeling when they find out about her marriage. Part of her knows Sam is doing the same thing, but that doesn't make her feel much better.

"They'll understand," he says. "In this line of work, and working with Hetty, they will understand."

She stares at Nate for a long moment and wonders if the psychologist knows about Sam's home life like he now knows about hers. She doesn't know how to ask without giving anything away if he doesn't. "I hope so," she eventually answers.

"Did your husband know about you keeping him a secret at work before our cases crossed?"

She nods. "He knew from the beginning."

"Did he understand from the beginning?" Nate asks carefully.

Kensi smiles and nods. "He's always understood, always been supportive," she adds, thinking back to her conversation with Jess Traynor the night before. She really did get one of the good ones.

"Interesting choice of words," Nate muses. "Supportive."

"When you're young and female and tell people you want to be a federal agent, they aren't always that supportive."

"I hear you. But he's a cop. That would help him to understand, right?"

"He's just naturally supportive. Always has been." She smiles. "And he wasn't always a cop," she tells him. "He was a lawyer."

Nate stares at her for a moment in surprise, and then laughs out loud. "You told the team you once dated a law student."

Her smile widens. "Some of the best covers are based on truths, Nate. I did date a law student. They just don't know that I married him."

"Impressive."

"Thank you."

"It must be difficult for him to be away right now."

She debates sharing before shrugging, knowing he won't be putting any of this in his report. "I actually saw him last night."

"Is his case over?"

She shakes her head. "No, but he saw the...news about Dom in the paper. He reached out through his handler. We got to spend about two hours together last night."

"You do seem...more centered than you did yesterday."

"It was nice to see him. I feel more centered," she says, using Nate's word. "I'm usually okay when he's gone. I mean, it sucks and I miss him, but I can deal. But after losing Dom..." She trails off and sighs. "It was really nice to see him."

"I know you said you told Dom about him. Did they ever meet?"

She sighs. "No. The day before we knew he had been kidnapped, I, uh... I had invited him over for dinner."

Nate nods along. "But you didn't get the chance to have that dinner," he surmises.

"No."

"And that would have been their first meeting?"

She nods.

"You regret that?"

She's not happy that Nate has eased her into talking about Dom through a roundabout way, but she knows it's a mandatory subject. "I wish I'd been a better partner," she admits.

Nate frowns at that. "He was a new agent. And you were supportive and encouraging. You accepted him as your partner. You were developing a rapport and trust. You shared with him a secret that was very important to you." He pauses a moment for effect. "That sounds to me like you were a pretty good partner to him."

She runs a hand through her hair as she fights the urge to sit back and avoid again. "I wanted to save him," she says quietly.

"So did I," Nate says back. "We all did. And we all did everything we could."

"I was supposed to be his partner, Nate. I was supposed to have his back."

"Kensi." He sighs and sits forward so he's leaning his elbows on his desk. "Neither of you were on the clock when he was abducted. This isn't something that happened in the field when you had his back; not that that would have been your fault either, necessarily. But this was not something you could have foreseen or prevented."

Kensi sighs. "Sometimes I can believe that."

Nate considers her for a long moment before nodding.

"What?"

He offers her a small smile. "I think you're right. You're stuck in limbo and you need a win. You need to be reminded of the good you do." He pauses. "The whole team does."

She smirks. "So I sat here this whole time and poured my heart out for you to repeat back to me what I told you in the first place?"

He points his finger at her in a jokingly threatening manner. "Be nice or I won't sign off on your assessment."

She laughs. "You wouldn't dare. I'd sick Hetty on you."

He makes a show of shuddering. "Okay, you convinced me."

Five minutes later, she's actually smiling as she leaves Nate's office with her approved assessment in hand.

00

True to plan, Callen goes next for his assessment. He doesn't exactly look happy to be doing it, but he doesn't complain. And with the both of them cleared, it's little trouble convincing their third remaining team member to sit down with Nate.

By the end of the week, they are open to new cases.

The first case they accept is low key when compared to what they're used to. No national security risk. No death. No explosions. Just a small group of marines trafficking pills from a navy medical unit.

It only takes them a few days to track all of the players and shut down the network. The takedown is low key and pretty much without incident.

But it's enough to get their feet wet and have them working like a team again. When the case is done, Sam is a little less depressed and Callen is a little less stressed out. And Kensi realizes she feels good that they have accomplished something.

They aren't moving on, but they are moving forward.

Another two smaller cases are assigned and closed without incidence as the weeks go by. The team begins the slow process of healing as they continue to move forward.

At the two month mark of her husband being gone, Kensi picks up her dog from her mother's and takes him home for the weekend.

Monty is happy to see her, as he always is and sits in the middle of the backseat during the drive, panting away as she chatters at him.

"What do you want to do this weekend?" She asks the dog, not expecting an answer.

Monty, as expected, pants away, but stares at her from the backseat.

"Maybe we could go to the beach?" She continues, glancing at the dog in the rear view mirror.

Monty cocks his head as he recognizes the word 'beach.'

"You like that idea? Food trucks for dinner? I'll share if you don't tell Marty."

He reacts again, this time to 'Marty' and she smiles sadly at him.

When they arrive home, she parks her car in the parking lot and lets Monty out. Together, they make their way up the stairs leading to the front door.

"We're going to have a house soon," she tells the dog. "No more hiking in from the parking lot because we'll have a driveway. And you'll have a yard."

Monty clearly has no idea what she's saying, but he glances up at her and wags his tail. She pats his head before reaching for her keys and unlocking the door.

When she pushes the door open, Monty hurries inside, tail wagging. He trots through the kitchen and then down the hall to the bedroom. In the moment it takes her to shut and lock the door behind her, he's back in the living room. He stops wagging his tail and stares at her, suddenly looking sad.

She sighs as she moves to sit on the couch. In a moment he's in front of her.

"I know, Monty. I miss him, too."

00

After another two weeks of lighter cases, the team is thrown into the deep end when Callen's day to day cover is blown. He catches a tail one morning, only for the tail to be killed when he's hit by a car running from Callen.

As it turns out, the man tailing Callen had been hired by a third party names Keelson. And Keelson claimed to know things about Callen, like his first name.

In their distraction of trying to help Callen, the OPs centre server is breached by a Trojan horse. Despite Eric's best efforts, it eats through their very strong firewall. Under Hetty's orders, and without any other choice, Eric takes the system off line.

Unable to determine how badly they've been compromised, Hetty moves the team - minus Callen, who is still at large - to a secondary location.

"I like the new digs," Renko says with an amused tone as he walks a few steps behind Kensi along the inside perimeter of their new temporary home base. Hetty had called him in to help out when the team had evacuated the mission and he had arrived several minutes ago. Callen, having been burned, was still apart from the team. And Sam had recently disappeared. Kensi assumes he had gone to find his partner. She's grateful for Renko's presence so that she's not the only field agent left to protect everyone else if the need arises.

She smirks as she stops to check out how secure a doorway is. "I don't know... A little effort and we could fix it up, Right, Nate?" She drags the uneasy psychologist into the conversation in the hope that it takes his mind off everything else. Nate has been trailing along behind her, clearly wanting to feel like he's doing something to help. She knows he never does well when the team is fractured like this.

Nate frowns. "If the OPs centre has been compromised, we'll need to find a new suitable location and I don't think this would do. For starters-"

"Kidding, Nate," Kensi cuts in.

"Oh." He sighs and glances around the small warehouse they are in. "Sorry."

She exchanges a look with Renko.

Renko claps the psychologist on the back. "Just follow my personal rule; don't take anything she says seriously."

Kensi rolls her eyes, but notices that Nate does crack a smile.

"You're lucky I didn't shoot you when I had the chance." She had pulled her weapon on him when he first arrived because Hetty hadn't warned her he was coming and she had simply seen movement and reacted. She had lowered her gun once she recognized him.

He smirks back at her. "You could have. But Hetty would have been upset."

"Hetty would have been proud of me," she counters.

Renko laughs and they move on along the perimeter. They both know they're probably not in danger, and that the building is probably secure seeing as Hetty picked it out, but field agents don't do well doing nothing, so they are keeping busy.

Nate continues to trail along behind them. "Renko, are you carrying a spare weapon?"

Renko glances at him. "Uh, yeah-"

"Don't even think about it, Nate," Kensi cuts them both off.

"I'm just saying-"

"No." She stops and shakes her head before pointing a finger at him. "You are not allowed to carry a gun, Nate."

Renko laughs. "He wants a gun?"

"He does. And Hetty already said no."

"In this situation, wouldn't it be smart for more of us to be armed, just in case?"

"Nate, you have no training. You'd be more likely to shoot one of us - or yourself - than anyone else."

Beside Nate, Renko is unsuccessfully trying to bite back a laugh.

Nate looks a little like a chastised child. "I just want to help."

She offers the psychologist a smile. "You are helping, Nate. We're all going to get through this."

00

When Sam returns from his meeting with Callen, he brings information and a cell phone Callen had used to photograph a meeting. Keelson had blackmailed him into meeting with some bad guys to trade a flash drive for money. The meeting had gone badly and Callen had been lucky to escape alive. The photos lead them to the bad guys and the drive to the CEO they planned to kill.

The CEO is landing at LAX and heading for a business meeting which will lead to a corporate merger. The team quickly puts together a plan to save the CEO's life by swapping out his vehicles for their own leaving the airport. Sam drives the car that supposedly holds the CEO, with Kensi in the passenger seat and Renko behind her.

The bad guys attack as planned and are understandably shocked when three federal agents get out of the vehicle instead of their intended target.

When the shooting starts, it's loud and coming from multiple directions. Kensi uses her car door for cover and takes the time to aim her return shots. She's focused on what she's doing, but she still knows exactly when Renko hits the ground behind her. They had been receiving and returning fire two different directions, so now he's down, vulnerable and with no protection.

"Renko!" She yells as she turns and shoves the back passenger door shut so she can provide cover fire for the downed agent. "You okay?"

"Yeah," he manages to say, though he sounds like he's having trouble breathing. She wants to glance down at him, but knows she can't risk it with so many active shooters.

She continues to cover the shooters behind the vehicle as Sam takes on the shooters in front of the vehicle. Eventually the team takes down enough that the few remaining run for it and the shooting stops.

Kensi ensures it's safe before crouching down beside Renko, her heart beating hard. There's no blood that she can see, but his hand is clutching at his chest. "Renko, you good?"

This time he manages to nod. "I'm good. Yeah." He coughs and then winces. "Vest took the hit. Knocked the wind out of me."

She breathes a sigh of relief and helps him sit up. "Just sit for a moment. I'm going to call this into the LAPD."

She calls the firefight into the LAPD and then calls for an ambulance to check on Renko.

Close to an hour later, there are a dozen cops milling about, as well as a forensics team and medical examiner. Content everything is being taken care of, she makes her way to the ambulance.

The back doors are open, revealing Renko sitting up on the gurney, his vest off and shirt unbuttoned, revealing the starts of a dark bruise on his chest. He's also holding an oxygen mask to his face. Beside him is a paramedic, who is holding a clipboard and pen, but isn't making any notes. Instead, she's laughing at something Renko has said.

Kensi knocks on the open door before stepping up into the ambulance.

"How are you feeling?"

Renko removes the oxygen mask and offers her what can only be described as a brave smile, which immediately makes her suspicious. "Happy to be alive."

She feels her brow furrow as she turns to the paramedic. "Did you give him something?"

The paramedic shakes her head.

"Just high on life, Kensi. Just high on life," Renko says. Then he waves his free hand between her and the paramedic. "Agent Blye, this is paramedic Julie. Paramedic Julie, this is Agent Kensi Blye. My hero today."

Julie offers her a smile. "Nice to meet you."

Kensi still doesn't quite understand what's going on. "Uh, you, too."

"How long have you two worked together?" She asks.

"On and off for a couple years," Kensi answers.

"She's the best agent I know," Renko adds. The he makes a show of trying to sit up and wincing.

Julie settles him with a hand on his arm. "Just lay still," she soothes. "Are you sure you don't want us to take you to the hospital?"

"No, I'm good. But thank you. Grin and bear it, you know?"

Julie smiles at him, before excusing herself. "I'm going to go check in with my partner."

As soon as Julie is out of the ambulance, Kensi swipes at Renko's arm. "You are unbelievable."

"Um, okay, I'm injured here."

"You're fine. Physically, at least. Mentally and emotionally, I'm not so sure."

He smirks at her. "I don't know what you're talking about."

She laughs and shakes her head. "You were trying to use me to pick up the paramedic."

" _Trying_ indicates a lack of success. I'm pretty sure it was working."

She hits him again.

"Hey!" He exclaims, though he's barely holding back a laugh. "It's hard out here for us single people."

She starts slightly at his words.

He raises an eyebrow. "And no, I don't include you in that category."

She stares him down a moment before sighing. "So, you did see the rings."

He nods. "Of course I did. But I knew you weren't single long before that."

She frowns. "How-"

"I knew from the moment I met you," he cuts her off. "Maybe I didn't know you were married until I saw the rings. But I always knew you were taken."

"How?"

He shrugs. "You have a...quality, I guess."

"A quality? Come on Renko, you have to do better than that."

"I'm a single guy. Looking for a single girl. And I have excellent radar for single girls," He waggles his eyebrows and motions to where they can see Julie the paramedic in the distance. "And you didn't set it off. You can tell all the bad date stories you want, but at the end of the day, you're...content. You're not actually looking to change your life."

She considers his words for a long moment before smiling. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

00

Renko is released - with Julie's phone number - but Hetty sends him home. She's thankful for his help, but doesn't want to risk his injury compromising himself or the team.

From the safety of the secondary location, Eric hacks the system and makes a shocking discovery. Keelson has accessed NCIS information for agents and operations taking place worldwide. With that information in mind, Called is brought into the fold. He makes contact with Keelson to set up a meeting to buy the information back.

Of course, NCIS has no intention of buying the information. And, apparently, Keelson has no intention of selling it. Another firefight breaks out and Callen is forced to kill Keelson. He has no answers about his past, but at least the NCIS information is safe again.

And then Eric makes another discovery. He finds Keelson's warehouse.

Callen, Kensi and Sam gear up and breach the warehouse. There are rows upon rows of locked shelves holding files on hundreds, if not thousands, of individuals. At the front of the large room is a computer terminal. Kensi sits, but it prompts a password, so she calls in for help. In a moment, the computer screen indicates a countdown until a file burn.

At first the team believes it's just the computer about to destroy itself and the files it holds, but then they quickly realize they are in danger. Because the entire room is rigged to explode.

She grabs whatever documents are out on the desk and runs with Sam. Callen tries to get at his file, but it's stuck behind impenetrable doors and he barely makes it out behind them before the building is burning down.

After, Callen is understandably surly and irritated, knowing the information he has sought his whole life was right there, so close to him, and is now destroyed. It's a couple hours before he manages to pull himself out of his mood.

Kensi keeps a close eye on her team leader, worried about him.

Her worry increases when they find out the documents she pulled from the warehouse are for a woman named Amy Taylor.

Whose maiden name was Amy Callen.

The team tracks the woman and saves her life. After, she tells Callen she had been in foster care with Amy Callen, but when Amy died in a tragic drowning, she had taken her name. She tells Callen that Amy had been his sister.

Callen understandably withdraws into himself again.

At the end of the week, Kensi joins Sam for a sparring match in the gym. When they head back to their desks, they find Callen sitting in his chair. His laptop is open and his fingers are poised over the keyboard, but it doesn't appear like he's focused on his work.

Sam frowns as he takes in the sight of his partner.

Kensi almost smiles. It's sad, but she appreciates how close the partners are. Just a week ago, Callen had been distracted in his worry about Sam and now the tables have turned.

"G," Sam calls. "You want a turn in the gym?"

Callen looks up and starts to shake his head.

"Come on, man. I need a win after sparring with Kensi."

Callen cracks a smile. "So, you want to use me to lose?"

"You can take him," Kensi says as she collapses into her seat next to Callen. "He's a light weight."

Sam laughs. "There are a lot of bad guys who would disagree with you."

She raises an eyebrow. "You want to go again?"

Sam makes a face and then looks to his partner. "Come on, man. Help me out?"

Kensi smiles as Callen makes a show of shutting the lid of his computer. He gets up and then the two partners grumble at each other all the way down the hall until they are out of earshot.

She knows in that moment that the team will be okay. She turns her gaze to the empty desk across the bullpen; Dom's nameplate is gone now and the desk is bare. She allows herself a smile at the memory of her late partner sitting there smiling at his alien bobble head.

It takes her by surprise to realize it's been days, if not a week, since she's thought about Dom.

It also takes her by surprise that she can think back and smile now.

She's not moving on, but she's moving forward. They are all.

00

Two weeks later, Kensi is getting ready for work when there is a knock at the front door.

She frowns, wondering who could possibly be here this early.

She makes her way across the living room and glances through the peek hole. The sight that greets her immediately turns her stomach and she pulls away from the door to swing it open.

Lieutenant Bates is standing outside her door, a dark look on his face. "Mrs. Deeks," he greets solemnly.

She feels tears spring to her eyes as the situation she has always dreaded begins to play out in front of her. Because when your husband is a cop, his boss showing up on your doorstep is _never_ a good thing. "Please don't be here to..." She trails off.

He tries to offer her a supportive smile. "Can I come in?"

She steps out of his way and swallows hard, her heart in her throat, as Bates steps into the apartment and shuts the door behind him.

"Where is Marty?" She asks.

He sighs. "We don't know."

She feels her heart clench as her worst nightmare comes true. They may not get the future they had been planning together for so long. The decade she's spent with him is just not enough. Her chest heaves as she fights to keep control of her emotions. But she's bombarded by ten years of memories...

END PART ONE.


	23. Flashback - Fall 2000

_**AN: So, we're taking a break from our regularly scheduled programming for a set of all-flashback chapters. I've tagged this chapter as fall 2000 because I'm not focusing on Deeks at school prior to Kensi arriving other than the one flashback.**_

 _ **Originally, I had planned to write 1-2 chapters showing the background of their lives. That quickly went out the window when just the first year ended up at 15k words. Instead of dragging this on now, I'm going to post the first year (in two parts) and then move on to season two. I'll be taking breaks within season two to post additional years.**_

 _ **While I usually write entire chapters in one POV, these flashback chapters will switch back and forth between Kensi and Deeks. Also, while I usually write the flashbacks in italics and past tense (while the non-flashbacks are in present tense), these chapters will not be in italics (mostly because I hate writing in italics...) and will be in present tense.**_

 _ **Sorry about the end of the last chapter - I debated leaving the ending like that, but I needed to establish the timeframe and at least give a bit of a reason for this chapter. And don't worry about Deeks - we know he'll be okay!**_

* * *

~September 1997~

Deeks is embarrassed when he arrives to check into his dorm room the first week of college. It's painfully obvious he doesn't have much of anything to his name. His clothes are in a beat up suitcase, his school supplies in a shoulder bag and his bedding in a garbage bag.

He takes the bus and then walks through the many throngs of families present to move their loved one into the dorm.

His check in is quick and none of the dozens of volunteers ask if he needs help with his things. It's pretty obvious he doesn't have a family with him and a car full of things to unload.

He's no one's loved one.

His roommate is already moved in and is sitting cross legged in the middle of the twin bed on the left side of the room.

Deeks knocks and then slowly enters the room.

The other freshman looks up from his notebook and takes in Deeks's appearance and belongings. Deeks holds his breath, but then to his surprise the other teen smiles. "I'm Steve."

"Marty."

"Hope you're okay with the right side of the room," Steve says. "My bus got in early this morning, so I got here early."

Deeks steps into the room and makes note of Steve's empty garbage bags and banged up suitcase. And he feels a little less alone.

"Right side is good with me," he says with a shrug. He could care less which side of the dorm room he gets; he's just happy to be here in a dorm room. Where he grew up, college was much more the exception than the rule. He had to fight and claw to get here. He drops his bags onto the mattress.

"Where you from?"

Deeks sighs. "Reseda."

Steve nods bitterly. "I spent some time in that area."

Deeks offers a sarcastic smile. "Fun times, huh?"

Steve scoffs, but smiles back, clearly approving of Deeks's sarcasm.

Deeks comes to be friends with his bitter roommate. They have similar backgrounds and are fighting the same fight. Unfortunately, while Deeks falls back on his humour, Steve is only bitter. He complains about every disadvantage they ever had. He blames every set back and every missed grade on someone else. He drops out before the year is over.

Losing his roommate only strengthens Deeks's resolve to make something of himself. He won't let himself be bitter. And he won't let himself fall back on blaming anyone or anything - including his past - if he doesn't get the future he wants.

00

~September 2000~

With her dad's old pack slung over her shoulder and a second duffel bag in her hand, Kensi checks herself into her dorm. There are dozens of senior students volunteering to help register and move in the new freshmen. The volunteer manning the registration table is a very friendly blond whose nametag announces her 'Chelsea.'

Kensi signs the necessary forms and hands over her already prepared checks.

Chelsea motions to the pack of waiting volunteers and asks Kensi if she and her parents need help unloading the car.

Kensi swallows hard and forces a smile to her face. She shakes her head and tells Chelsea she has it covered.

She makes her way into the dorm and finds her room. Her roommate hasn't arrived yet, but the room is basically a symmetrical set up of twin beds, desks and dressers, so Kensi picks the bed to the right. She sets her pack down and then sits on the bed.

It's quiet in the room, but loud in the hallway. She can hear the stomping of feet and excited voices of new students, parents, family and friends as they hurry past.

Kensi feels her heart swell with want in this moment. She misses her dad. She misses having someone to believe in her. She knows that her dad would have loved to be here with her today.

She _wants_ to be here and knows in her heart her father would be proud of her, but three years ago, when she had imagined herself going away to college she had never imagined being alone on this day.

She sits, quiet and alone with her thoughts, until the door pushes open and another girl appears.

"Hi," the girl offers quietly.

Kensi looks up and offers her a smile. "Hi. Looks like we're roommates."

The girl smiles back. "I'm Mindy."

"Kensi." She pauses. "I just got here. Just sat down over here, but I really don't care which side of the room I have if you want to be on the right."

Mindy quickly shakes her head. "No, no. You stay there." She offers Kensi another shy smile. "I don't care either. I'll take the left."

"Okay."

Mindy sets down the bag she had been carrying. "I'm just going to, uh, find my mom. She's parking the car."

Kensi nods. "Do you need any help?"

Mindy glances at Kensi's two bags and then shakes her head. "No, but thanks. I...I don't have much."

Kensi thinks Mindy is being polite, but as it turns out, she is being honest. Raised by a single mother - who had to fight to get the day off to move her only daughter into her dorm - Mindy is at school on a tight budget, too.

Mindy returns a few minutes later with her mother in tow. The woman is shy like her daughter, but very nice. The two are clearly very close. It makes Kensi both happy and sad as she imagines a different version of this day in a universe where her dad is still alive. Mindy being moved in by her single mom and Kensi by her single dad.

Mindy and her mother invite Kensi out for dinner, but Kensi declines. She knows how important this day is and thinks one of them deserves to spend it with their parent.

00

~October 2000~

At twenty one years of age, Marty Deeks lives for three things.

School. Work. And enjoying life.

School, because he wants a better life that what is expected of him. He has a dozen people to prove wrong and no one to prove right. He wants a better life for himself and he wants to help other people. When he was young, he had wanted to be a cop, but his experience with guns and his father crossed that option off the list. His run in with a court appointed lawyer from the Public Defenders' office, though, had been a good experience which stuck with him. So, Marty Deeks is going to be a lawyer.

Work, because proving everyone wrong and becoming a lawyer is expensive. He doesn't have a dime to his name that he doesn't earn himself or win through scholarships. He works two, three and sometimes four jobs at a time to pay for tuition, books, rent and food. There's no one helping him, but in a way that's freeing, because he'll have only himself to answer to if he fails.

And enjoying life, because if he doesn't enjoy life when he has the chance he's going to go crazy. He has a dark past. And if you ask anyone else, he has a dismal future. If you ask him, he has a hell of a fight ahead of him still, even now, starting the last year of his undergraduate degree. And he's alone in the fight. So, he goes out when he can. He parties when he can. He collects memories because they're basically all he can afford.

He's never had trouble with the opposite sex.

He's good looking and easy going and not looking for anything serious. And girls - apparently - like that.

He's not a bad guy. He sets out to not hurt anyone. He makes it clear he's not looking for anything serious or long term. He's dedicated to his studies and his future only. And he learned long ago not to depend on anyone along the way. Because the people who were supposed to love him and support him no matter what didn't do either.

So, he's an army of one with one goal in mind and a hell of a resolve. He parties and laughs and has a good time, all the while keeping everyone at arm's length. He's determined not to let anyone close enough to hurt him.

Until he meets her. And then everything changes.

She appears in his life like a breath of fresh air and a punch to the gut all at once. With her slim figure, dark brown hair and mismatched eyes. She's gorgeous, but doesn't flutter and flirt like the girls he's used to interacting with. And she's young, just a freshman, but there is fire in her eyes and a sense of determination that he recognized in himself. She has something to prove to the world, too. Another army of one.

He's hooked the moment he meets her.

He tries to ask about her fight; her goal. But she deflects.

He summons all the wit and charm he possesses. For the first time since he can remember, he's nervous around a girl; probably because it's the first time in a long time that he's actually felt something. He stumbles slightly over his words.

But she smiles anyway.

She smiles and it takes his breath away. He knows he _needs_ to know more about her.

And then she's gone.

And no matter what he does, he cannot get her out of his head.

00

At eighteen, Kensi Blye already knows she is going to become a federal agent.

More specifically, she's going to get a degree in criminology, she's going to apply to NCIS and she's going to solve her father's murder.

She goes to class. She studies. She works. She works out. She goes to the shooting range.

She's getting close with her roommate and she's made a good group of friends. But they want to go out more than she does. They talk about parties and plans and boys. And Kensi wants to be able to talk about frivolous things over and over like they do. Sometimes she can. But sometimes she just...can't.

She's hyper aware that every report and exam have bearing on her final grade. And she knows that when she applies to NCIS they can look at _everything_. And she doesn't want her application denied because she partied too much in her first year of college. She needs to focus now and have fun once she's established the life she wants.

So, she limits her time with her friends and makes sure she spends more time studying than gossiping. They push her to go out, and she relents enough to make them happy. They push her to meet boys and she lets them introduce her at parties. But she never lets it go further than that. She's here for a reason and she will not allow herself to become distracted. She's been on her own for almost three years and she's fine. She may be lonely sometimes, but she doesn't need anyone else in her life.

And then she meets him. And everything changes.

He's not what she's normally attracted to, not the clean cut military look she grew up expecting to be drawn to. But he definitely catches her attention.

He chats with her, asks about her, but when she brushes off his questions, he doesn't walk away. He changes his tactic and he makes her laugh.

And she realizes she hasn't really _laughed_ in a long time.

She recognizes something in his eyes and feels a spark of something in her chest. And it startles her. She keeps her heart and her feelings buried away for a reason and she does _not_ like what's happening.

She makes her exit before he can ask her anything more.

She regrets it later. She even hates on herself a little bit. Because she was raised to be better than this. Stronger. To never run from a challenge.

She vows not to let it happen again.

00

He can't get her out of his head. Sure, she was gorgeous. But it was the fire in her eyes that had captivated him. Whatever it was she was setting out to prove, she sure as hell was going to prove.

At first, he thinks he'll get over her, but after a week he's actually distracted from his studies. He returns to the place where he met her. She's not there. He goes back again the following day at a different time. Still not there.

Another week passes and he returns each day at different times. He doesn't see her. And he still can't get her out of his mind.

"What is up with you, man?"

Deeks looks up from his beer where he had been staring for, apparently, quite some time. "What?"

His buddy, Jeff, stares at him. "Where's your head at, man?"

"Sorry, I'm here."

Ryan scoffs a laugh. "Clearly not. You're missing the free show." He waves his hand to the aisle beside their booth. It's getting late and the bar is starting to fill up. A group of girls have just walked in, decked out and clearly pre-drinking before they go clubbing.

Ryan whistles. "Look at the blond."

Deeks and Jeff exchange an eye roll at their slightly intoxicated friend, but being guys and being good friends, they follow Ryan's request. The blond is hot and knows how to dress to impress. Deeks's attention, however, is pulled away quickly.

Halfway to the door he spies a brunette facing away from him. Petite frame. Long, wavy hair. His heart skips a beat as he watches her. It could definitely be the girl who has been ruling his thoughts and dreams for going on two weeks now. She struts up to a dark haired man, who puts his arm around her and kisses her, and Deeks feels his heart clench. But then she turns her head and she's definitely not the same girl.

He sighs in relief and turns his attention back to the table. Ryan is slightly tuned out. But Jeff is staring at him with a knowing smirk.

"What's her name?"

Deeks clears his throat. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Dude, there's only one thing that puts _that_ look on a fellow guy's face."

Deeks sighs and then shrugs. "Kensi," he answers Jeff's question. He then tells his friend about their first and only meeting, as well as his subsequent attempts to find her again.

"Kensi, short for Mackenzie?"

Deeks shrugs. "Maybe? I don't know."

"You get a last name?"

He shakes his head.

"You know what she's studying?"

Again, Deeks shakes his head.

"Freshman?"

"I think so."

Jeff shrugs. "Check the dorms? She doesn't have to be living there, but at least it would give you better odds."

So, he does. He wanders the halls before a few too many suspicious glances send him back down to the lobby before someone calls the cops on him. There are multiple freshman dorms. He picks one and spends a few hours studying either on the steps or on a bench across the street with a good view. The next day, he picks another.

On the fifth day, there she is.

00

Kensi feels a sense of relief as she walks out of her final midterm of the semester. She had studied hard and knows her effort will show in her grades. She contemplates making a detour to the main cafeteria for a treat, but something is telling her to go home first.

She secures her shoulder bag across her body and makes the walk back to her dorm.

In front of her dorm is a small park area, and she walks through it on her way home. She's about all the way through when a shock of messy blond hair catches her attention. She slows her pace and stares off to her right at the owner of the hair. She tells herself it can't be the boy she ran from. But it looks so much like him, that she steps forward for a closer look.

It's definitely him. Complete with the blue eyes and warm smile she hasn't been able to shake in nearly three weeks.

He's sitting on a bench by himself, a text book and lined notebook in his lap. She watches him glance up at her dorm and then back down at his lap. He makes a couple notes with his right hand as his left hand traces the lines of text he's reading. Then he makes another note and looks up again.

She's surprised at the disappointment that settles into the pit of her stomach at his actions. He's clearly waiting for someone. She debates leaving him to his studying and waiting, but she still feels bad for last time. And she made herself a promise. And at the very least, she owes him an apology.

She quietly approaches him. When she reaches the edge of the bench, he glances up and then does a double take and almost drops his books in his hurry to stand.

"It's you!" He exclaims. He closes his textbook on the notebook and drops them unceremoniously onto the bench where he'd just been sitting.

She's confused and a little taken aback by his reaction, but she offers him a friendly smile. "Marty, right?"

His smile grows and he nods. "Yes, uh...yes. Marty. And you're Kensi."

Her brow furrows, but she nods. "Thanks for the reminder."

He laughs and takes a step forward. She watches, still confused, as he takes a deep breath and then releases it slowly with his cheeks puffed out. "You are not an easy girl to find," he tells her.

His words take her by surprise. "You were...looking for me?"

He nods. "Not in a creepy way. I just wanted to..." He trails off and runs his hand through his hair.

She takes in his dishevelled appearance and his nervousness. He hasn't so much as glanced towards her dorm since she showed up. And his attention is very clearly focused completely on her. She startles slightly as she realizes he was waiting for _her_. She reminds herself of her new resolution to be strong and not run when she gets scared. She needs to be strong because this could be a defining moment she'll look back on one day. She wants to look back and remember this as the moment she decided to be brave.

"I just finished my last midterm," she tells him. "And I'm starving. Did you want to...grab a bite to eat?" Her heart is thumping in her chest.

He immediately smiles and nods. "Yes."

She's pretty sure her heart is now thumping harder than before, for a completely different reason. But it doesn't stop her from smiling back.

00

When she had mentioned food, he had assumed she meant...well, food. But they arrive together at the main cafeteria and she makes a beeline for the dessert section.

"I'm celebrating my last exam," she explains as she picks out a slice of chocolate cake.

"Well, I can't let you celebrate alone," he says, picking out a slice of strawberry cheesecake for himself.

She smiles at him and he smiles back.

They settle across from each other at a table by the window. It's mid afternoon, between the lunch rush and the dinner rush, so it's relatively quiet.

"So," he prompts once they're settled. Last time he asked for too much, so now he knows to be cautious. "What was the midterm?"

"Intro Psych."

He nods. "Interesting?"

She shrugs. "Sometimes. Looking forward to more specialized classes, you know? But this is a pre-req for pretty much everything."

"Psych major?"

She shakes her head, surprising him. "Criminology."

He raises an eyebrow. "Unexpected choice. What are you going to do with it?"

She bristles slightly, and that makes him frown because it was not his intention to challenge her. He's suddenly afraid he's already overstepped again and he's not sure what to say or do to fix it. He watches as she sighs, almost as if she's suddenly resigned herself to something. What, he's not sure. "Law enforcement," she eventually answers.

He's impressed. "Good for you."

Her eyes flash as she meets his, and then they narrow and he's pretty sure she's trying to decide whether or not to believe him. "I mean that," he tells her before she can say anything further or make up her mind to decide he's not being genuine.

She stares him down for a moment and then she deflates. "Sorry. I'm just..."

"Used to people telling you that you can't?" He offers.

Her eyes snap back to him and he feels that same tension and shock of something he had felt when he'd first met her. And he knows she's had to fight her way here. He understands. "Exactly," she whispers.

He nods. "I get that."

"What are you going to be?" She asks.

He smiles because she asks what he's going to be and not what he wants to be or plans to be. Like, in her mind, there's no question. He's pretty sure she gets him like he gets her. "I'm going to be a lawyer."

She nods and echoes his words. "Good for you." Then she smirks. "And I mean that."

"Thank you." He feels a lightness in his chest and it makes him smile again. Or, really, keep smiling seeing as he hasn't stopped in a few minutes.

"I'm sorry you've been told you won't make it," she tells him. He's a little surprised by how intuitive she is, but also not that surprised.

"I'm sorry you've been told the same thing. We'll just have to show them they're wrong."

"We will." Then she smirks and her eyes sparkle. "Only we're going to be on opposing sides. I'm going to be sending the bad guys to jail and you'll be representing them."

He scoffs. "I am not going to be a criminal defense attorney!" He exclaims with a laugh. Then he smirks. "Maybe I'll be a prosecutor. You arrest the bad guys and I'll send 'em to jail."

She nods. "Could work."

He feels his heart patter in his chest as he smiles at her. "Could work."

00

A week later, Kensi has finally decided on a shirt, after trying on three different options, when the door to her dorm room opens.

"I'm changing my major!" Mindy announces as she stumbles in and collapses onto her bed.

Kensi laughs. "You say that every week."

"Well, I want to mean it." She sighs. "I hate Professor Dover. And I hate sociology. It's so boring."

"You're more than halfway through the first semester," Kensi reminds, just like she does every week. "You'll be happy when you're finished."

Mindy sits up on her bed and mock glares at Kensi. "Sometimes I hate that you're my roommate. You're too good of an influence."

Kensi laughs. "Sorry?"

Mindy laughs, too, but her laughter fades as she takes in Kensi's outfit. A long sleeved shirt with a v-neck. Black pants that aren't jeans. And the flats that she had practically forced Kensi to buy in an effort to get her out of her boots and runners. "You look nice."

Kensi turns away, suddenly uncomfortable. "Thanks," she says as she scoops the small pile of shirts off her bed and heads to her small wardrobe to hang them back up.

Mindy immediately notices what she's doing. "You look _nice_ ," she repeats. "And you tried on clothes." She's smiling when Kensi turns back to her. "You met a boy."

Despite herself, Kensi can't help the slight blush that heats her cheeks.

"Oh, my God. You did! You met a boy."

"I met a boy," Kensi confirms.

"When? And why didn't you tell me?"

She runs a hand through her hair. "Uh, a week ago...sort of. Also, sort of a month ago."

Mindy doesn't bother waiting for an answer to her second question. "What's his name?"

"Marty."

"And you like him," Mindy states, not asking.

Kensi answers anyway. "I...do. I really do."

"How many times have you been out?"

"Just once." They'd had dinner three nights ago. "And also sort of twice." She's not sure if eating cake together in the cafeteria counts as going out.

"And you're going out tonight?"

She nods. "Just dinner. Maybe a movie?"

Mindy smiles. "I'm happy for you, Kensi. You need to let your hair down a little."

Kensi smiles. "I'm happy, too."

00

Deeks is just about ready to leave when there's a knock on the door to his tiny studio apartment. He's meeting Kensi at the edge of the campus and they're going out for dinner, and he needs to leave soon if he's going to get there on time.

He opens the door to reveal Jeff.

"Hey, man," Deeks greets, leaving the door open, knowing Jeff will understand and come in.

"Hey," Jeff says, stepping in and closing the door behind himself. "Was in the neighborhood. Thought I'd stop by and see if you want to hang out tonight." He smirks at Deeks's outfit - nice jeans and a black button down. "But it looks like you're busy."

Deeks shrugs. "Sorry."

"Going out with Kensi again?"

"Yup."

"That's good man. Do we get to meet her any time soon?"

Deeks runs his fingers through his hair. "Maybe? It's only been a week."

Jeff shrugs, unperturbed. "Think she'll stick around long enough to meet her?"

"I hope so," Deeks says. Then he smiles. "I think so."

00

They have dinner at a small, inexpensive restaurant a few blocks from the beach. The food is good and the company is even better.

Kensi can't remember a time in recent years when she laughed this much. It feels like a weight lifts from her shoulders each time she's around him. And he smiles at her like he's just as happy.

After dinner, they wander over to the local movie theatre. After checking titles and show times, they agree on a late showing of _Almost Famous_ , then head down to the beach to wait out the hour and a half until the movie plays.

It's getting dark, much more dusk then light out, and the air off the water is cool, but they're not scared away.

Deeks laughs as Kensi grips his forearm for balance as she slips off one shoe and then the other. They walk about five steps, her barefoot and him still in shoes, before he stops and follows her lead.

Once they're both barefoot, they walk along the edge of the beach together. They don't get far before Kensi realizes they're both carrying their shoes in their right hands. This wouldn't be a big deal except her right hand is right beside his left hand.

"It's a beautiful night," Deeks comments. The sun is low on the horizon, and the sky is clear, allowing the dimming light to splash across the dark water.

"Mmm-hmm," she agrees. And then she tries to discreetly move her shoes from her right hand to her left. She half hopes he notices and half hopes he doesn't.

Three steps later, she's pretty sure he noticed because his fingers brush up against hers.

She glances down at his hand and then closes the small gap between their hands.

He accepts her contact easily and weaves their fingers together. She breathes a sigh of relief as he shoots her a happy grin.

Their first date - which she's still not sure if it counts as a date - had been dessert in the cafeteria. They'd talked for a little more than an hour and had lost track of time. He had eventually had to excuse himself and hurry off to his job. But not before asking if he could please get her number this time. They exchanged numbers and he promised to call the next day.

He did call the next day, and they set up their second (first?) date for a couple days later. They shared an easy, casual dinner at a diner not far from campus. They were both nervous, but it was fun. After, he walked her the short route back to her dorm. And that was it.

She's not unhappy with the slow progress, but she's feeling anxious about certain hurdles. She's never sure if she can or should touch him. Using his arm for balance to take off her shoes and taking his hand have been pretty much the only times she's reached out on her own. He's been more than a little respectful of her, but a little bit she wishes he'd push them forward. She _wants_ this. She's just never done this before and she's not sure how much or how fast or anything like that.

But they're strolling down the beach together holding hands, so she figures she must be doing something right.

"I love it down here," he tells her. "The sand and the sound of the water. It always helps me feel centered."

She glances at the water and then nods. "I get that."

"Do you...have a place like that?"

She considers his question for a moment before answering. "I just like being outside. Being in nature. I...spent a lot of time outside growing up."

He glances at her and she can see him considering whether to ask for more details. In the end, though, when he doesn't ask she's not sure to be relieved or not. She doesn't want to talk about her father, but she's pretty sure she will if he asks. Because it's him.

"Never spent much time in the wilderness," he offers instead. "Always thought I'd get eaten by a bear or something." He offers her a goofy smile.

"Well, I never spent much time at the beach," she counters. "Always thought I'd get eaten by a shark."

He laughs out loud. "Almost never happens," he tells her.

She laughs, too.

"Have you ever surfed?" He asks.

She shrugs. "Not really. Once or twice as a kid. I was, uh, never very good at it."

"I could teach you," he offers. "You know, if you want to learn. You can't really live in southern California and not know how to surf."

Kensi smiles at the thought. "I'd like that." She pauses. "But only if you come camping with me sometime."

He makes a show of shuddering - which makes her laugh - and then nods. "Alright. It's a deal."

00

He squeezes her hand once they've agreed to their little deal, happy with both the future plans and the current situation he finds himself in.

He had, of course, noticed when she had moved her shoes to her outside hand, freeing up the hand closest to him. He had been pretty sure of her intentions, but not sure enough to grab her hand himself. He had purposefully swung his arm a little wider and brushed his fingers against hers. And then he had smiled when she had reached for his hand.

She's an enigma; that's for sure. Strong and fierce and determined. A force of nature whom he's certain will reach her goals. But then she surprises him when she's suddenly shy and uncertain. She's happy to be out with him - he can tell that each time she laughs or smiles - but she's hesitant. He knows without her saying that she has a past, and probably has some baggage that vaguely resembles his. But she's here and that counts for something. Because it means she _wants_ to be here. With him.

The thought fills him with warmth. This amazing person he's discovered is actually choosing to spend her time with him. She's here and she's laughing with him and she's smiling. And she's holding his hand because she reached out.

If she can take that step, he can take the next one.

He stops them when the sun begins to dip past the horizon. They stand together, still holding hands, and watch the sunset.

"Wow," Kensi breathes. "It's beautiful."

"Sunset or sunrise, I love being down here," he says, offering a piece of himself to her. "It makes for good memories, and I like to collect as many as I can."

"Good memories can be hard to come by," she replies, also offering a piece of herself.

He hesitates before dropping his shoes from his hand. They land almost soundlessly on the sand by his feet. He hesitantly reaches forward and brushes some hair back from her face with his fingertips. "They shouldn't be hard to come by," he tells her. "We have to make a life in this world. We all deserve some happy, you know?"

She swallows hard when he touches her, but makes no move to pull away. "I'm not always good at making a life," she admits. "I get caught up in the future..."

"I do, too, sometimes," he tells her. "But the more good memories, the easier it is to live each day."

"I may need you to remind me of that once in a while."

He huffs a laugh. "I can do that."

She smiles and licks her lips. "Good."

His eyes catch on her lips and then move back to her eyes. She's staring up at him, her gaze as open as he's seen it. He sees that fierceness that drew him to her in the first place. He had already been hooked then.

Now, he ducks his head and brushes his lips against hers in a soft kiss. He pulls away after a moment, but she's canting into him, her lips supple and welcoming to his, so he closes the slight gap between them and kisses her again.

She must have dropped her shoes to the sand, too, because it's her bare hands that hesitantly land on his upper arms at the same time his hands find her hips.

After several long moments, he pulls back and smiles down at her. She smiles back at him.

And he thought he had been hooked before...

She almost laughs as she unsuccessfully tries to bite back a shy smile. Then she surprises him by ducking her head and pressing her forehead to his chin.

He welcomes her closer and moves his hands from her hips to the small of her back in a comfortable hug. She doesn't move her hands from their perch on his upper arms, but she squeezes tighter.

She doesn't say anything, but her body is warm and pliant against his. He can feel her exhales on his collar bone and each inhale presses her chest to his.

After a long moment, he nudges her affectionately and then tugs her down onto the sand beside him. "Let's watch the rest of the sunset," he says.

She shifts closer to him as she nods. "Okay."

He really liked the feel of her in his arms, so he carefully wraps his arm around her now.

She sighs and leans close to rest her head against his shoulder. "This is nice," she tells him.

"Really nice," he confirms.

They sit together, learning to be close, as the sun disappears into the water. And they keep sitting together after. Eventually they find their words and talk again. They spend hours talking together about life and friends and school and their plans. They barely even notice when they miss the movie.

00

~November 2000~

Kensi sits cross legged on the well worn couch, trying to focus on the typed pages in her hands.

"I can't read this with you staring at me," she says without looking up.

"I'm not staring," he says. "I'm looking intently."

She huffs a laugh and looks up from his essay, which she is trying to proof for him. "Well, whatever you're doing, stop. I can't concentrate."

"Well, I can't do anything else until I know if it's any good."

"It is good," she assures him. "But this is going to take some time."

He sighs and stands from the kitchen chair he's been sitting on. He runs a hand through his hair.

"Your grades are good, Marty," she assures him. "You'll get into law school."

"You really think so?"

She nods. "But it won't matter if I kill you first for not leaving me alone while I'm trying to help you," she tries to joke.

It apparently works, because he laughs. "Okay. I'm just going to..." he trails off and turns a circle. His studio apartment is small and, other than the bathroom, there is nowhere else to go. "Uh...food? Are you hungry? I can make dinner?"

She smiles. "That sounds great."

00

~December 2000~

"Are you going home for Christmas?"

Across from him, Kensi tenses and Deeks silently chastises himself. He knows better than to ask her something personal without warning. But Christmas is less than two weeks away and he's been wondering about her plans since the calendar changed to December. He had initially hoped she would bring up the subject, but as the days went by she seemed more and more willing to ignore the upcoming holiday.

She places her pen down on her notepad, but stares down at the table instead of looking up at him. They're sitting across from each other in the cafeteria, combining a meal and study time.

He shakes his head. "You know what? Never mind. Forget I asked." She's been opening up to him more and more, but she's never mentioned her family or her home. And he's always been afraid to ask.

She looks up and meets his eyes. "It's okay," she tells him. Then she takes a deep breath and he could swear her eyes well with tears, even if not a single one escapes down her cheeks. "I, uh, don't have anywhere else to go," she admits quietly. "I don't have a...home."

His heart clenches and he's pretty sure he's feeling actual physical pain for her. "Kens..."

She swallows hard. "It's not a big deal. I'm used to it."

"You shouldn't have to be used to it," he tells her. "I wish you didn't have to be."

She nods, but doesn't respond to his words. Instead she clears her throat and meets his eyes. "How about you? Plans?"

He offers a sad smile. "I don't have anywhere else to go, either," he tells her.

The look she send him is all understanding and empathy. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." He shrugs. "I'm used to it, too."

"I wish you didn't have to be, either."

"Well, maybe we don't have to be alone this year. Do you want to come over on Christmas?" He feels an almost ridiculous amount of hope well in his chest at the thought. He hasn't spent the holidays with someone in longer than he can remember.

Her eyes flash and she looks away for a moment before looking back to him. "I...I'm not sure."

He feels his heart drop, but nods. "Okay." He clears his throat. "That's okay."

She stares at him for a long moment and he watches as her eyes well again. And then, a single tear streaks down her cheek. She huffs and swipes at it like it's a sign of weakness and she's ashamed.

"Hey," he says softly, holding out his hand.

She stares at his hand for a few seconds before gently placing her hand in his.

"No judgment here," he assures her. "Life is not easy."

Kensi nods and actually offers him a small smile. "My, uh..."

He shakes his head. "You don't have to explain."

"I want to," she says softly.

Deeks squeezes her hand and stays quiet, letting her lead.

"My dad was all that I had," she tells him and he immediately knows where this story is going. "And then he...died. It'll be three years next week." She swallows hard, but keeps control of her emotions. "I haven't celebrated Christmas since."

He can tell her how sorry he is or that her father would want her to be happy or any number of cliché things. But he knows she's probably been told all of that many times before.

"Your dad must have been pretty awesome," he says instead.

She smiles. "How do you know that? I haven't told you a thing about him."

He shrugs. "He raised you, so he must have been awesome. That must be where you get your strength from."

Her smile only grows. "He was a really good man."

"And he only failed you in one thing."

Her brow furrows as she stares questioningly at him.

"Your eating habits," he says with a straight a face as he can manage, motioning to the half eaten slice of cake sitting beside her text book. "I have never met someone who actually believes sugar is a food group. Was that because of him or in spite of him?"

She actually laughs out loud. "A little of both. We, uh...sometimes we'd share a slice of cake or other dessert in the middle of the night. Especially when he had just gotten home from deployments."

"So, it reminds you of him."

"Yeah, I guess it does."

"That's good, Kensi. Good memories."

She nods. "He'd want me to make more good memories." She stares at him for a moment before nodding to herself. "I...want to see you on Christmas. Can I...think about it?"

"Of course."

00

When Kensi wakes, she knows it's not Christmas anymore. The low light coming in through the windows tells her dawn is quickly making its presence known.

But that's okay.

Despite her misgivings about the holiday, she's glad in her decision to spend the day with Marty. After opening their gifts, they had settled together on the couch and watched Christmas movies. He'd cooked them - with her limited ability to help - a nice dinner, and after they'd eaten together at his small kitchen table, they had returned to the couch.

Sometime during their umpteenth Christmas movie, they had fallen asleep. She had awoken sometime later to find herself warm and comfortable and wrapped in his strong arms. She had tried to shift slightly without waking him, but he woke immediately and sat up.

"Sorry," he had said, rubbing a hand over his face.

"It's okay," she had told him, sitting up beside him and wishing he was still holding her.

"I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"It's okay," she had said again.

He had looked at her and then smiled. He had hooked his arm around her and pulled her close before kissing her softly. "I'm glad you're here."

"Me, too."

"Oh!" He had practically exclaimed, jumping up off the couch. "I almost forgot; I bought pie."

"Now I'm even more glad I'm here."

He had laughed as he walked to the kitchenette and pulled out the pie. He had cut two slices and returned to the couch. And tucked up together, they had eaten their dessert just before midnight.

He had watched her lick her fork clean. "Do you want another slice before I walk you home?"

"You don't have to do that."

"What? Offer you more food or walk you home?"

She had rolled her eyes. "Walk me home."

"I know I don't have to. But it makes me feel better."

She had been about to turn him down, but a yawn cut through her words.

He had suddenly looked uncertain. "Or you could...stay here. If you want."

She had considered him and his offer silently.

"You can have the bed." He had motioned across the small apartment at the bed. "I'll sleep on the couch."

"I don't want you to sleep on the couch."

"It's fine, really-"

"How about we share the bed?" She had asked bravely.

He had given her a tee shirt and shorts to sleep in, and offered her whichever side of the bed she wanted. She chose the right and he tucked himself into the left. He had kissed her goodnight and left it up to her how close she wanted to sleep to him. She had hesitated, suddenly uncertain, but the memory of how good it felt to wake on the couch in his arms was still fresh in her mind, so she had turned and then reached behind herself for his arm.

He had immediately understood and tucked himself against her back. "Goodnight, Kens," he had said.

"Goodnight," she had echoed.

And now, hours later, she wakes in his arms for the second time, feeling safe and warm and _wanted_. Deeks is still pressed close behind her and she can feel his exhales on the back of her neck.

She smiles, knowing she could get used to this.

* * *

 _ **AN: Next part should be up in a few days.**_

 _ **Quick question - some readers have mentioned they're going back and re-reading previous chapters. I didn't bother with dates on the flashbacks before, but would it be helpful if I go back and add them now?**_

 _ **Also - As I will be writing these background chapter concurrently with the regular chapters, please feel free to send me ideas or things you want to see. I've already written to the end of 2001, but will try to include something during that timeframe if it works. And after that, I have an idea of where we're going, but if your suggestion doesn't conflict with the general plan or already established timeframes/etc, I'll do my best to include them.**_


	24. Flashback - January to October 2001

_**AN: Keep forgetting to add this, but it's been mentioned and asked about several times. No, their very first meeting was not featured in this set of flashback chapters or at any time yet in the story. That's a special scene and will be shown eventually. However - There have been hints in the story so far. Gold stars if you have noticed them.**_

* * *

~January 2001~

For the first time since he can remember, his birthday doesn't suck.

Even though the girl he's spending the day with doesn't know it's his birthday, she's still making the day special. They had studied together that morning and he had debated telling her, but he just...didn't know how. He's gun shy and even though he's almost certain she would care if she knew, he knows he'd be devastated if she didn't. So he says nothing.

When they're done with studying, they head to the beach. He's been slowly teaching her how to surf. She's naturally athletic and well balanced, so even though this is only lesson number four, she makes it look like lesson number ten.

And when she manages to catch and ride a particularly challenging wave, he feels his heart swell with pride, not thinking he could be happier than he is in this moment.

She - of course - proves him wrong without even trying when she paddles back out to him and presses her lips to his, wanting to share her excitement with him.

"That was amazing!" She says, her eyes dancing with joy.

"You were amazing," he agrees.

"I never understood what all the fuss was about, but now I totally do." She's sitting on her board beside his, but facing the opposite way so they're pretty much facing each other. Her calf is curled around his to keep them close and her hand is resting on his knee.

He raises an eyebrow. "You talking about surfing or..." He trails off and motions down at their closeness.

She blushes and then completely takes him by surprise when she shoves him off his board.

He splutters as he comes to the surface, finding his girlfriend laughing at him. "Really?" He exclaims.

"Really."

"Then this is war!" He moves towards her.

Kensi's laugh cuts off and her expression tells him she's just realized she's vulnerable. "No. Marty!" She exclaims as he presses his weight onto the side of her board so that it tips her off towards him.

She's laughing again when she surfaces. "Okay. I deserved that."

"Just a little." He presses a quick kiss to her lips and makes sure she has hold of her board before swimming after his own.

A couple hours later, having had a dinner of fish tacos, with ice cream for dessert, the couple walks along the beach hand in hand. The air is cool and she's wearing one of his sweatshirts, which he thinks is absolutely awesome.

She bumps his hip playfully as they walk together and he smiles over at her. He's certain this is the best birthday he's ever had.

00

~April 2001~

The six month anniversary of their first date lands in the middle of final exams. They don't have time to go out and do something special, so they simply repeat that first date. After a brief discussion, they had decided that, yes, cake in the cafeteria did count as their first date.

So, six months later, they make their way to a free table by the windows. They can't remember exactly which table they say at together that first time, but choose one they think is close.

"I can't believe the school year is almost over," he says before taking a bite of his strawberry cheesecake.

"I can't believe you're graduating," she counters with a smile.

"Me neither." He smiles back. "Part of me thought that would never happen."

Kensi frowns and points her fork at him. "You worked hard for this, Marty. You deserve it. Don't put yourself down."

"I'm not," he assures her. "I just..." He trails off and runs his hand through his hair.

Kensi waits him out, knowing he sometimes needs time to make sense of his thoughts.

"I never stopped working towards it," he finally says. "It was just hard sometimes...to be the only one who believed it would happen."

She reaches across the table for his hand. "You're not the only one who believes anymore."

He accepts her hand and holds on tight. "I'm...I'm really glad, Kens," he says.

Kensi feels her heart ache in her chest at his openness. "Me, too," she whispers.

00

After the last exams are finished, Deeks feels a huge weight leave his shoulders. He's pretty sure he's been carrying it for four years. But he made it. He's officially a university graduate (or, at least, he will be once the paperwork is processed and the ceremony is over). And he got notice that he was accepted into the school's law program for fall 2001 admission. His grades have been so good that he even managed some scholarships.

And now he just wants to celebrate with the most important person in his life.

He makes his way through the familiar halls of her dorm and knocks on the door. He hears footsteps and then the door opens. Unfortunately, it's not the brunette he had hoped for.

"Hi, Marty."

"Hi, Mindy," Deeks says to Kensi's roommate.

Mindy ushers him into the room. "Kensi's just downstairs getting her laundry. She'll be back any minute."

Deeks practically collapses onto Kensi's bed and makes note of the boxes by Mindy's bed. "You going home for the summer?"

Mindy nods. "I'm going to stay with my mom. Have a job lined up already. Hopefully I can save more money not paying rent for four months."

He smiles at the thought. "When do you leave?"

"Monday."

"You should come to the beach tonight. My buddies are having a party to celebrate the school year being over. Bonfire. Beer. Music. Should be a good time."

"Uh, I don't know..."

"They're all good guys," Deeks assures. "And Kensi's coming with me."

"Yeah, I guess." She smiles. "Thanks."

The door opens and Kensi appears, holding a laundry basket filled with clean clothes.

"Hey!" She greets him. "You got here faster than I expected."

He shrugs, not wanting to tell her that he practically ran here from his last exam. She had finished her last exam that morning and now they were both free for the summer.

"Well, I'm glad you're here because I am starving," she says. Then she turns to her roommate. "We're going to grab a bite to eat. You want to come with us?"

Mindy shakes her head. "Nah. You guys go ahead, but thanks for the offer. I want to get some more packing done."

Kensi unceremoniously drops her basket of clothes and then looks expectantly towards Deeks. "Ready?"

He raises an eyebrow. "We can wait for you to fold your clothes."

"It's fine."

"I'll even help," he says, eyeing the basket.

She lifts the basket back up, and for a moment he thinks he's maybe a good influence on her. And then she flips it over and dumps her clean clothes onto his head with a snort of laughter.

He sits still for a moment, covered in her clothing, still slightly warm from the dryer. And then he shakes his body to rid himself of most of it. There's still something on his head. He reaches up and pulls a pair of navy blue lacy underwear out of his hair.

He holds the underwear up and raises an eyebrow. "I always imagined if you were going to start throwing your underwear at me that it would be...different than this."

"Marty!" She exclaims, her cheeks turning red as she grabs the underwear from his fingers. Behind her, Mindy is laughing.

"Yeah, because that was my fault..."

She swats at him with the hand holding her underwear.

"See?" Deeks says to Mindy. "She's doing it again."

Kensi huffs and tosses the underwear into the laundry basket. She scoops some of the other clothes up and dumps them too into the basket. He follows suit and helps her until everything is back in the basket.

"Food now?" She asks.

He nods and leans in to place a quick kiss on her lips. "Food sounds excellent."

They say goodbye to Mindy and make their way out of the dorm and across campus towards the cafeteria, hand in hand.

"Congrats on being finished," she tells him, bumping his hip with hers.

"Thank you," he shoots a smile her way.

"I feel like we should do more than have an early dinner in the cafeteria to celebrate."

He shrugs. "We have the party tonight." The he smirks. "And after you can throw your clothes at me again."

She laughs out loud. "I clearly didn't think that through."

He chuckles. "Good aim, though, for them to land right on top of my head. And one of my favourite pairs, too."

"You...you have favourite pairs of my underwear?"

He makes a show of nodding. "The navy blue ones. The red ones. Ooh! And the purple striped ones. And-"

"Please stop talking," she cuts him off, though her eyes are sparkling.

He ducks in and brushes a kiss to her temple. "Alright."

00

Kensi wakes with a quiet groan. She opens her eyes and groans again at the onslaught of light. She's tired and her mouth is dry and her head is absolutely pounding.

She's not one to get drunk - and then subsequently be hung over - but celebrating the end of her first year of college and Marty's final year of college had seemed like an okay time to do so. She had a great time last night at the bonfire and then coming home with Marty, but now she kind of regrets it.

She drags herself out of bed and doesn't bother looking for clothes. She simply stumbles her way into the bathroom. She has a hot shower and feels somewhat more human when she gets out. Marty has long since started keeping an extra towel in the bathroom for her and she uses it to dry her face and towel dry her hair before wrapping it around her body.

When she makes her way back into the living area, she finds the bed empty. Marty is standing in the kitchenette area, looking about as happy as she feels. He has a bottle of water in his hand and holds it out to her.

"Morning."

"Morning," she echoes, padding over to him and accepting the half full bottle. She takes an experimental sip and then when her stomach does not rebel, drinks more. He pulls a bottle of Advil out of his cupboard and offers it to her.

"Thanks," she mumbles, taking two and downing them.

He takes the Advil back and takes out two for himself, before taking the water back from her to use to take the pills.

"Does your head feel like it's going to explode? Because my head feels like it's going to explode."

She almost laughs. "My head feels like it's going to explode," she confirms.

He puts both the water and Advil down on the counter and then wraps his arms around her. "I had a good time last night; what I can remember anyway."

This time she does laugh, despite the added pain in her head. "Me, too. Nice way to end the first year."

He runs his hand up and down her towel covered back. "What time did we get home?"

"I have no idea."

He chuckles and then groans. "I think a quiet day is in order today."

"Agreed. Let's do nothing."

"Will you stay in the towel? Because that sounds kind of awesome." He pulls back far enough to glance down at her towel clad body.

She rolls her eyes.

He smirks. "I'll even join you. I'll have a shower, wrap a towel around my waist. We can make a day of it."

Kensi pretends to think about it and then shakes her head. "Nope. Not today. All I want to do is pull on some comfy clothes - that I don't have to worry about falling off - and curl up on the couch."

"Half the point of towel day is that they fall off..."

"You're ridiculous."

He shrugs. "And yet you love me anyway."

She hooks her fingers into the collar of his tee shirt and tugs him down to press a quick kiss to his lips. "I do love you anyway," she agrees.

He wraps her into a hug again. His body is warm and comforting, and she presses into him. "I love you, too," he whispers.

She smiles into his shoulder. The words aren't quite that new anymore, but they still send shivers of happiness through her every time she hears them. Because this amazing man she has found _loves_ her. And accepts her. And wants to spend his time with her.

Pretty freaking awesome.

00

By the middle of the afternoon, Deeks is feeling more or less human. He and Kensi have spent the day so far on the couch watching movies with the sound down low.

Despite his request that she remain wrapped in the towel, she had changed into pajama bottoms and one of his tee shirts. And he loves the sight of her in his shirts so much that he thinks this is actually better than the towel.

She's curled into his side, her head resting against his shoulder. When the most recent movie ends, he turns his head to press a kiss to her head. "You getting hungry at all yet?"

She shifts and lifts her head to meet his eyes. She makes a face, but shrugs. "Maybe a little?"

"Bagels?"

"Sounds perfect."

He stands and smiles when she follows him to the small kitchenette. He grabs two bagels from the bag and puts them into the toaster. When he turns around, he finds her sitting on the counter.

Knowing it'll be a few minutes until the bagels are toasted, he moves towards her and steps between her dangling legs.

"Comfy?" He asks as his hands find her hips.

She nods. "Yup."

"I'm glad you're comfy here."

She hooks her hands over his shoulders and tugs him closer. "I like being here."

He goes to her willingly, pecking her lips and then her forehead before wrapping his arms around her. He loves her. And he loves having her here with him. And he wonders if six months together is too soon to ask the question he wants to ask. "I'm glad you're happy here."

He wants to say more - and he almost does - but the toaster pops the bagels out, cutting him off. He moves away from her and back to the toaster. She slides off the counter and gets two plates out of the cupboard.

"Butter or cream cheese?" He asks as he pulls open the fridge.

"Cream cheese."

He grabs the container from the fridge while she gets a knife from the drawer. He passes her the container and lets her spread the cream cheese onto the bagels for them both.

When their meal is ready, they return to the couch.

"You okay?" She asks as they resettle together on the couch.

He smiles at her. "I'm good."

For a couple minutes they eat in silence.

"So, it's too bad Mindy is heading home for the summer," Deeks offers.

Kensi nods. "I'll miss her."

"I think she had a good time last night."

"It was nice of you to invite her."

He leans over to press a kiss to the side of her head. "Your friends are always welcome, Kens."

She smiles at that.

"Plus, she really hit it off with Jeff..."

Kensi rolls her eyes.

"Really," he insists. "I saw it with my own eyes."

She sighs and then smiles. "Yeah, okay, I kind of saw it, too.

00

By the evening they're both feeling much better. It's a little after eight when Marty asks her whether she's planning to return to her dorm room or stay the night again.

"Oh," she starts slightly. The option of returning to her dorm hadn't even occurred to her. "I was planning to stay. But I can go if you want-"

"No, I want you to stay," he quickly cuts in. "I always want you here, Kens."

She smiles at his words.

He takes a deep breath, which causes her to frown slightly as she suddenly wonders what he's working himself up to. "I _really_ like you here, Kens. All the time."

She swallows hard as she suddenly realizes where he might be going.

"Have you... I mean...Would you...want to...move in with me?"

And suddenly her heart is pounding in her chest and her mouth is dry and she feels vaguely nauseous for reasons that have nothing to do with the hangover.

His hopeful expression falls slightly when she doesn't respond, which only makes her feel worse.

"Marty..." She starts, but there are no words she can find to go along with that, so she tries again. "I don't...I mean, we... It's only been six months."

He nods. "So, that's a no," he says quietly.

"I just...I don't want to rush." Her heart is literally pounding against her ribcage at the thought of taking that kind of official step forward. She loves this man, and the last thing she wants is to risk everything by taking this kind of step.

"If you're not ready, that's okay," he says. "But Kens, you spend more nights here than at your dorm."

She knows he's right so she can't argue. "But I still have the dorm room. I still have..." She trails off and swallows hard. "I didn't expect this to happen..."

"You didn't think we'd ever move in together?" He asks with a touch of humour, clearly trying to keep the mood light.

"No, I mean, I didn't expect..." She trails off as she realizes what she's saying and how it will sound.

It's too late, though. His expression darkens. "You didn't expect us to happen," he surmises. He takes a deep breath. "Do you...not want this?"

"I do want this, Marty," she is quick to assure him. "But that doesn't mean I expected this. I have a plan..."

"So do I. We can have a plan together."

She closes her eyes, trying to fight off thoughts of all the things that can go wrong. "School has to be a priority... It was my plan," she says weakly. She knows she's not necessarily making sense, but she _had_ come here with a plan. She had to keep on track to reach that future goal she set for herself. And she had told him the truth; she hadn't expect him; _them_. She still wasn't sure why _they_ did to her plan. Did she have two concurrent plans now? Or could they manage one combined plan? The latter thought was both amazing and terrifying.

"I've never gotten in the way of that," he points out. "Hell, Kensi, you come over here to study all the time. We help each other study. I _know_ how important your plan is to you. I want to help with that."

"I know, but..." Again, she trails off. This time because she knows she doesn't really have a point to be made. In the time she's known him, he's always supported her. She has no reason to think that would change.

"Do you need to wait until you're done school to move forward?" Marty asks. "I think that's ridiculous, but I'll wait for you if you need me to. I just need to know what you want."

She's actually surprised that the idea of waiting three years also sends her heart pounding in a bad way. "No. That's not what I want," she says quickly. She feels tears of frustration stinging her eyes. She doesn't know what to say.

He sighs and reaches for her hand. "What do you want, Kensi?" He asks softly.

"I don't want to lose you," she whispers."Other than that...I don't know."

He squeezes her hand. "As long as you want me around, I'm going to be...around," he assures. Then he steps forward and presses a kiss to her forehead. "And I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed."

This makes her feel worse. Because he shouldn't be afraid to push. She takes a deep breath and looks up into his eyes. "I'm scared," she admits.

His eyes pinch as he gazes down at her. "Of what?"

"Us. This." She tries to explain. This relationship already has the power to destroy her if it goes bad. "Losing this."

He nods, his eyes filled with understanding. "Me, too."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," he confirms.

That actually makes her feel a little better; knowing she isn't alone. "I just...I think back and I remember how easy it was for my mom to leave my dad for another man. And I thought she was happy. I thought everything was fine."

He nods. "I know neither of us had good role models, but regardless of when you're ready, we are not our parents." He pauses and takes a deep breath. "I remember watching my dad beat my mom so many times." He shakes his head and runs a finger along her jaw. "And I cannot even begin to fathom laying a finger on you like that."

"You would never," she says fiercely. She presses his hand against her jaw with her own hand. "You are a good man, Marty Deeks. You are not your father."

He smiles. "Thank you." He presses a kiss to her cheek. "And you are not your mother. We're both our own people."

She nods. "I know that, I do. I just...I need some time. Is that okay?" She knows she needs to get a handle on her thoughts.

"Of course."

"And I don't...I don't want anything to change between us. I'd still really like to spend some nights here."

He wraps her into a tight hug. "You are always welcome here."

She sniffs and clutches tightly to him. "And it won't be three years. I just need...some time."

00

Things are strained for a while.

Deeks gives her a few days, thinking it will help get them past the awkwardness, but instead it just seems to make everything worse.

He makes his way over to her dorm on Monday to help Mindy lug her things down to her mother's car. He hugs his girlfriend when he gets there and knows she's as happy to see him as he is her. But things just aren't normal between them.

They're halfway through helping Mindy when Deeks's buddy Jeff 'drops by.' It's immediately apparent he's come to see Mindy, whom he definitely hit it off with at the party the previous week.

Deeks exchanges a knowing look with his girlfriend and they quickly vacate the dorm room, giving Mindy and Jeff some privacy.

"I told you," he gloats as they walk together down the hall to the elevator, each carrying a box.

"They'd make a cute couple," Kensi agrees.

He smiles at her and she smiles back and suddenly everything seems just a little easier.

"I don't want things to be weird with us," he tells her as the elevator doors open and they step on together.

"I don't either," she says quickly. "I'm sorry, Marty. I just need some time."

He shakes his head. "No. It's my fault. It's too soon. I got caught up in everything. I'm graduating, starting law school in September... Sometimes I forget you're just getting started. But we have all the time in the world."

She leans into him. "Thank you. But I don't want all the time in the world. Just a little time."

He leans towards her and presses a kiss to her cheek. "Okay. But no rush from my end. I just want things to be good between us. Normal."

The elevator doors open the ground floor and they step out together. "I want that, too."

"Will you...come over tonight?"

She shoots him a happy smile. "I would love to."

00

~May 2001~

With Mindy gone, Kensi is assigned a new roommate within a week. An Italian exchange student in town for the summer semester.

She's actually home, having just finished a shift at one of her summer jobs, when there is a knock at the door.

She answers the door to find the residence coordinator standing in the hall, along with a young woman who looks just a little older than Kensi.

"Kensi?" The coordinator asks.

Kensi nods.

"This is your new roommate for the summer; Rosa. Rosa, this is Kensi."

Kensi offers her a smile. "Hi."

"Hello," Rosa responds with a heavy accent and an easy smile. She has dark brown, almost black, hair and bright green eyes. She's wearing nice clothes and several accessories.

The coordinator nods. "Good. I'll leave you here, Rosa. I'm sure Kensi can show you around campus. If you have any questions, give me a call."

"Thank you," Rosa says.

Kensi ushers her in. Despite a long, international flight, the other girl appears poised and refreshed. Her clothes and her suitcase are designer brand.

She clears her throat. "Where are you from?" Kensi asks as Rosa sets her suitcase and bag down and turns around to survey the room.

"Italia," she answers. "A small town outside of Turin, near Francia and Svizzera."

"France and...Switzerland?"

Rosa smiles and nods. "Yes. I am here for school, and to work on my English."

"Well, your English sounds great."

"Thank you. You do not speak Italiano?"

Kensi shakes her head. "No, but I'd love to learn. I speak Spanish. And some French and German. Not much else."

"I am happy to help you to learn, Kensi," Rosa says.

"Thanks. And I'll help you with anything you need while you're here."

00

Deeks yawns as he makes his way down the hall to Kensi's dorm room. It's only late afternoon, barely late enough to be considered early evening, but he's exhausted. He had worked late the night before, and then was up early for his other job this morning.

He's barely seen his girlfriend for the last couple days. Their work schedules don't leave for a lot of free time. But they both have this evening off and he's looking forward to an early dinner and then hopefully falling asleep beside her.

He knocks on the door and smiles when Kensi opens the door.

"Hey, you."

"Hey," she says softly, stepping into him for a quick kiss.

"Ready for dinner?"

"Just about. Come meet my new roommate."

He allows her to tug him into the room. "Marty, this is Rosa. Rosa, this is Marty."

"Hi," Deeks offers the new girl.

"Hello, Marty," she says with an open smile. Then she turns to Kensi. "Your...man-friend?"

Deeks feels his brow furrow.

Kensi laughs. " _Boy_ friend," she corrects easily. "And, yes."

"Boyfriend," Rosa echoes, committing the term to memory. "That is nice."

"We're just going to get some dinner," Kensi explains. She glances at Deeks.

Deeks nods and turns to Rosa. "Would you like to join us?"

"That is nice offer, Marty. But I will decline. It has been long day and I would like to rest."

He smiles and nods. "Another time."

Kensi grabs her bag. "I probably won't be home tonight, but I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow. Thank you for your help today."

Half an hour later, the couple is sitting across from each other at a small diner near the campus.

"How was work?" Deeks asks.

Kensi sighs. "I never thought I'd say this, but I wish school was starting again sooner."

He laughs. "I hear you." He stares at her for a moment and then cocks his head. "You look different."

She smiles almost shyly. "I may have let Rosa do my makeup..."

He chuckles at her embarrassment.

"She has more makeup than I knew existed."

"Oh, you mean your marine father wasn't up on eyelash curlers and new shades of blush?"

She laughs out loud. "Even if he had been - which he was not - I wouldn't have been into it. I was a total tom boy."

"So, why now?"

She shrugs. "It's nice to try something new."

"Well, I think you look very pretty." He stands and makes his way around the table to crouch beside her and press a kiss to her temple. "But I always think you look pretty."

00

~June 2001~

Kensi fidgets in her seat as she glances around. The rows of chairs are starting to fill up with smiling families and friends.

Beside her, Mindy laughs. "Nervous much?"

"No. Just...anxious. Marty worked a long time for this. I want it to be perfect."

"It's a graduation ceremony. It's going to be boring no matter what."

Kensi releases a laugh and elbows her friend gently. "Maybe. But I still want it to be perfect for him."

"You have got it bad, girl."

She turns to her friend, an eyebrow raised. " _I_ have it bad? What about you?"

Mindy clears her throat and looks away. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"We both know you're here to see Jeff."

Mindy makes a face. "Okay, so maybe I am. But I was coming anyway for Marty."

"Sure you were," Kensi teases.

Mindy blushes.

"You guys been talking a lot?"

Her friend nods. "Pretty much daily now. And he's...come out to see me a few times. It's...nice."

"I'm glad things are working out between you."

"Me, too. I really like him. It's just..."

"What?"

"His family is here. He wants me to meet them."

"Oh. Okay..."

"Is it too soon? I mean, I've only known him a month and a half. And we've only been out a few times. Mostly we've just talked on the phone. It's too soon, right?"

"I...don't know."

"This hasn't come up for you?"

She shakes her head. "Marty doesn't have a family. Neither of us do."

Mindy sighs. "I knew that. I'm sorry."

She shrugs. "Not a big deal. We have each other." She says the words without thinking, and startles slightly when she realizes what she's said. _We have each other_. She's still uncertain about the whole idea of officially moving in with him so soon. But she's certain _about_ him. She knows he's here for her, and she knows she's here for him. She smiles at the knowledge that they have each other.

The ceremony gets started. They listen quietly to the opening speeches.

They clap politely as each graduate is called to the stage and presented with his or her diploma. They cheer when Jeff is called to the stage - his last name of Carpenter putting him before Deeks in the order.

They cheer again when Marty is called. Kensi watches as he accepts his diploma and shakes a line up of hands. He turns and meets her eyes, smiling brightly, before stepping down from the stage.

She's surprised to actually feel tears well in her eyes. She's so damn proud of him.

The ceremony continues and they clap for each of the several hundred graduates. She cheers for each of Marty's friends that she knows.

When the ceremony is finally over, Kensi and Mindy make their way through the throngs of people towards the reception hall. The graduates, having left first, are already there.

She spots Marty relatively quickly and hurries over to him. He opens his arms and she hugs him tightly. "Congratulations."

"Thank you."

She pulls back far enough to meet his eyes. "I am so proud of you."

His eyes take on a new expression that she thinks she's never seen before. He smiles softly at her. "Thank you," he repeats, but this time with so much emotion behind it. And then he ducks his head and kisses her.

00

When the reception ends, she takes him out for dinner to celebrate.

"This is a nice place," he comments as they wait to be seated.

She nods. "You deserve it."

He frowns slightly. "Not that I don't appreciate it, but I'd be happy with something...cheaper."

She surprises him when she reaches up and snakes her fingers into the collar of his shirt. She tugs him down and kisses him. "Not today. This is a special day and you deserve it. Enough said."

"Okay." He kisses her again before standing upright. "Thank you."

The hostess calls them and they are seated by a window overlooking the beach.

They chat about the day as they peruse the menu. When the waiter arrives, they order their meals.

Once their drinks arrive - a beer for Deeks and a coke for Kensi - Kensi holds up her glass. "Cheers. To you."

He smiles and clinks his glass against hers. "Cheers."

They each take a sip and he watches as she quickly puts down her glass and reaches for her shoulder bag.

"I, uh, have something for you."

"You didn't have to get me anything..."

"I know. But I wanted to." She pulls a small wrapped parcel out of her bag. "I hope it's...okay. You mentioned it once and I...I remembered. It took a while to find."

He takes the present carefully into his hands and stares down at it. This and her gift to him at Christmas have been the only presents he's received since his childhood, which had ended far too soon. "Thank you," he whispers.

"You don't even know what it is yet," she points out.

"It's from you. I know it's going to be awesome."

"I hope so."

He places it down on the table and carefully peels open the wrapping paper, revealing a cardboard box. He opens the top of the box and pulls out a single item wrapped in tissue paper. He hefts it as he stares at her. Whatever it is, it has some weight to it.

She still looks nervous.

He cocks his head. "I'm going to like it," he insists.

"I just...hope it's not too much. You said it was something you always wanted. But..."

His brow furrows as he tries to remember what he could possibly have told her about.

"Just open it," she says with a huff.

He chuckles. "Yes, dear."

She rolls her eyes, but smiles at him.

He unwraps the tissue paper and gasps at what he finds in his hands.

"I hope it's okay," Kensi says when he says nothing for several moments.

"Oh, Kens. It's..." He trails off when he just can't find the words. "I asked for this every year growing up."

She nods. "And all you got was stupid Thomas."

He laughs out loud. "Trains should not have faces."

"So, you like it?"

"I love it. _Thank you_." He holds up his Airfix HO-scale 262 Prairie Tank. It's a little scuffed, but it gives the train character. Like it's been through a lot over the years, too.

"I'm sorry it's a little beat up. I thought you might like to fix it up. But I can keep looking for a better one-"

"No," he says quickly. "No, it's perfect."

00

~July 2001~

After a long month of working, working and more working, Kensi is more than ready for a day off. She and Marty have not have an entire day off together since his graduation a month before. They're going out tonight, and planning on spending the next day together; sleep in, probably go to the beach.

It's too late for dinner, but they're going out dancing, which they haven't been able to do in far too long. She's just finishing getting ready, knowing Marty will be there any moment to pick her up.

"Stop worrying," Rosa tells her. "Sei Bellissima." _(You look beautiful)_

"Grazie," Kensi says back easily. In a month and a half as roommates, they've started switching back and forth between English and Italian for practice. "I feel like this is...un po' trop."

"Un po' troppo," Rosa corrects. "And no, it is not. It is perfect. Marty will be very happy to see you looking like this." _(A bit much)_

They don't always agree about things, but Kensi has enjoyed having Rosa as a roommate. Born into a wealthy family, Rosa had grown up with the best of everything. And although she always dressed her best and made sure her hair and makeup were pristine, she didn't force her ideals onto Kensi. She did, however, share her beauty and style tips with enthusiasm - when Kensi was willing to hear them. Born and raised as a military brat and tom boy, and losing her mother's limited influence at fourteen, Kensi had never learned much about accentuating her body and face.

"Lo spero," she tells her roommate. _(I hope so)_

"È la verità." _(It's the truth)_

Kensi runs her hands over her top. Though far from the most revealing thing she's seen other girls wearing at clubs, it's the skimpiest thing she's ever worn. The halter top leaves much of her back bare and it dips low enough in the front to make her aware of it. Rosa hadn't been able to talk her into a skirt as well, so she's wearing tight fitting capri pants and heeled sandals.

"I'm nervous," she admits.

"When you see the look on your man's face when he sees you, you will not be nervous anymore."

Rosa's comment is a little ominous because Deeks knocks on the door the moment the words leave her mouth.

Kensi sucks in a breath and moves to open the door.

"Hey, sorry I'm late. But if we leave now, we can still catch the bus-" He cuts himself off as the door swings all the way open and he catches sight of her. "Wow. You look...wow."

She feels her cheeks blush as he steps forward to kiss her and then steps back to run his eyes over her again. "Is this new?"

She bites her lip and then nods. "Rosa took me shopping."

He smiles warmly at her. "Why are you embarrassed?"

"I'm not. Okay, maybe a little. I'm just...not used to dressing like this."

He kisses her again, longer this time. "You look amazing. I mean, you're always beautiful. But you shouldn't be embarrassed."

"Did I not tell you?" Rosa asks, causing Deeks to laugh.

Kensi rolls her eyes and nudges her boyfriend before he can respond to Rosa, knowing they will only gang up on her. "We have a bus to catch, right?"

"Right. We can still catch it if we hurry."

They say goodnight to Rosa and hurry out of her dorm. He grabs her hand as they walk along the path to the bus stop together. "I meant it when I said you shouldn't be embarrassed," he tells her. "You look amazing in anything."

"Thanks. It's just...new."

He squeezes her hand. "College is about trying new things. I say embrace it."

She bumps his hip with hers. "Well, I tried one new thing and it seems to be working out. I guess you're right."

He sends her a beaming smile back.

00

~July 29, 2001~

For her birthday, he takes her hiking.

A relatively significant amount of research had confirmed the best location leading to the best lookout point. It's an hour's drive from the city, but he manages to borrow a buddy's car.

His first thought had been to make it a surprise, but as the day drew nearer, he realized he would have to give her some warning so she would be prepared with boots and clothes. And also, he realized despite his best efforts at researching the topic, he really had no idea what he needed to bring, let along wear himself.

So, three days before, he lets her in on the plan and allows her to be in charge of packing their backpacks. On the morning of, he runs his clothing choice by her before getting dressed.

He's a little nervous he's going to get them lost or something, but he has several copies of the map. And she laughs at him for packing two compasses.

She laughs harder when he admits he doesn't know how to use a compass.

They leave bright and early and make it to the park by eight. It's supposed to be a three hour hike to the lookout point. He straps on his backpack and grabs her hand as they set off up the trail.

"So, this is...it?" He asks after fifteen minutes. "Just walking?"

She laughs. "Pretty much."

"It's a nice day and everything, but I'm not quite understanding the motivation to do this all the time."

She's silent beside him for several moments as she contemplates his question. "It's about...being in nature," she finally says. "Being away from people and buildings and noise." She pulls them to a stop. "Just...listen for a moment."

He stares into her eyes and opens his ears. "I don't hear anything," he whispers.

"Exactly. You don't realize how loud it is in the city. And there's a lot to hear out here, only it's quiet. Natural sounds." She steps into him and wraps her arms around him as best she can with his backpack on. He follows suit. "Close your eyes," she commands gently. "And listen."

He closes his eyes, content to be hugging his girlfriend at the very least. After a moment, he realizes he can hear the wind moving the trees over head. Birds calling through the forest around them. The sound of Kensi breathing against him.

"Natural sounds," he says after several minutes. "I got you."

She smiles and kisses him before pulling away. They resume their hike up the trail towards the top of the ridge. They chat and laugh and enjoy the day together.

It's just before noon when they reach the lookout.

"Wow," Deeks says. "Okay, this was totally worth it." The view is breathtaking. The wilderness below them and the city in the distance, and then the ocean. Completely amazing. He smiles and turns to his girlfriend, expecting to see her smiling as well.

He's surprised to see her eyes welling with tears.

"Hey," he says softly. He slips of his backpack and tugs hers off as well. And then he wraps her in his arms. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing is the matter," she whispers against his shoulder. "This is perfect. It's just been a long time and I didn't realize how much I missed this." She sniffs. "Thank you for doing this."

He ducks his head to press a kiss to her shoulder. "You're welcome. And we can do this again. I'm happy to do this again with you."

"I'd really like that." She sniffs again and then shifts in his arms. At first he thinks she's pulling away and loosens his hold, but then she turns so she's facing the view and tugs his arms back around her.

He presses his chest to her back and closes his arms around her again.

"It's really beautiful, isn't it?" She whispers.

"Almost as beautiful as you."

His comment gets the expected reaction. She snorts a laugh, making him smile.

"Cheesy."

"Maybe. But it's your birthday, so I'm allowed."

"This is a really good birthday, Marty," she tells him. "And I haven't have a good birthday for a long time."

He holds her a little tighter, knowing about her life after her father died. "They'll all be good from here," he promises.

She turns again, facing him, and stares into his eyes for a long moment.

He cocks his head. "What?"

"I've been thinking..."

He raises an eyebrow and smirks. "Thinking is good..."

She makes a face, but her eyes are sparkling. Then she bites her lip.

"Everything okay in there?" He asks, tapping the side of her head.

She nods. "More than okay. I think I've...figured some things out."

He nods along, though he's not sure what she's talking about.

"And if the offer is still there, I'm ready to move in with you."

Her words suck the air from his lungs. After their talk three months earlier, he had expected to be waiting at least another year, possibly longer, for her to be ready.

"I wasn't ready in April," she tells him. "But we've had three more months where we haven't had school to keep us together. And despite our crazy work schedules, we've both...made time for each other. And that makes me feel a lot better. And before I... I didn't know how to have both plans. But now I know we can have one big plan. Together. So, I'm ready now. If you still want to-"

"Yes," he says immediately, cutting her off and making her laugh. "Yes, let's live together."

She laughs and ducks her head forward, planting her forehead against his chin.

He laughs as well, holding close as he's reminded of that special moment they had shared on the beach after their first kiss more than nine months earlier.

00

~August 2001~

They quickly decide that, while they like his tiny studio apartment, it's just too small for them both to live there together all the time. Deeks only needs to give one month's notice, so the day after Kensi's birthday, he does so.

They spend the next week looking and find another studio apartment in the same neighborhood. It's close to twice the size, but only one and a half times the price as his old one. They sign a lease for September first, but the old tenants have already moved out, so they're allowed to move in during the last week of August.

In her last days in her dorm room, she packs boxes while Rosa backs her suitcase, preparing to fly home to Italy.

"I am happy for you, Kensi," Rosa says. "I am glad you are moving in with Marty. È un brav'uomo." _(He's a good man)_

"Grazie. Sono davvero felice." _(Thank you. I'm really happy)_

"We will keep in touch, right?"

Kensi nods. "Of course."

"You will let me know when you are sposata?"

"Sposata?" She asks at the unfamiliar word.

Rosa smirks. " _Married_."

Kensi feels her cheeks heat. "Oh, I don't think...I mean, we're still young and..."

Rosa clicks her tongue. "Love does not know age, Kensi. It knows only when it has met its match. And you, my friend, have met your match."

00

Cohabitation doesn't come without its own set of challenges.

There is definitely an adjustment period. Deeks is pretty sure finding a new apartment was a good idea, because this way they're starting on even ground.

They use his furniture, because she doesn't have any yet. But she has a lot of _things_. Knickknacks and items and tchotchkes. He only has a handful of important items himself, and so he's never had any issues with space. But what she had kept in a box in her dorm, she's now slowly bringing out one item at a time. And they just don't have the surface space. She's already filled the window sill.

He scours the second hand shops until he finds a suitable display cabinet, and gets the manager to agree to hold the item until the next day. He somehow convinces Jeff to help him and together they carry it a dozen blocks back to his and Kensi's apartment while she's in class.

He puts it against the wall between the windows and debates his options before carefully lifting her items from the window sill and placing them onto the open shelves of the cabinet. The only thing he leaves on the window sill is the very unhappy looking fern plant, which he frowns at and decides will probably need to be tossed soon because he thinks it's more than halfway dead.

When he's done with her things, he adds his train. And the plastic King Cobra he's had since childhood. And his cat pillow.

Both of their things make odd assortments on their own, and especially odd mixed together, but he loves it.

She loves it, too.

She has tears in her eyes when he shows it to her.

"You don't mind all my crazy things?"

"Not even a little bit." He wraps his arms around her and presses a kiss to her temple. "I love you and everything you come with. You make my life colourful."

00

~October 2001~

The one year anniversary of their first meeting dawns on a rainy Saturday morning.

With no class to attend, they rise early and hit the school gym together for a workout. They return back to their apartment to change and then head out again for lunch. When they're finished lunch, the weather has somewhat cleared up, so they head down to the beach.

"I can't believe it's been a whole year," Kensi comments as they stroll barefoot along the edge of the water. It's still overcast and threatening rain, so they're pretty much alone on the beach.

"Getting sick of me yet?"

She laughs and rolls her eyes. "Nope." The smirks. "Not yet, anyway."

He laughs out loud. "Ouch."

She bumps his hip playfully. "I'm planning on keeping you around for a long time, I think."

He beams at her. "Well, that's good, because I'm planning on the same."

She tugs him to a stop and drops her shoes, which she had been carrying. He does the same. She hooks her hand over his shoulders and behind his neck. He smiles down at her, his expression open and happy. She smiles back as she thinks of all the ways her life has changed in the last year. And all because this wonderful man had walked into her and her life.

"I've had a really good year," she tells him.

"Me, too," he says. "Lots of good memories."

"Lots of good memories," she echoes.

The clouds overhead give up their fight to keep hold of the heavy moisture, releasing a small slew of light rain onto the couple.

Deeks makes a face, but Kensi just laughs and pulls closer to him.

"Seriously, it rains here like two days out of the year and it has to be today?"

"Being raised here has left you unable to deal with real weather," she teases.

He huffs, but his eyes are sparkling.

"I like the rain," she tells him. "It's clarifying. Refreshing."

"Wet," he adds, playfully.

She laughs again. "You're a surfer," she points out.

"This is different."

"Then let's use it to make another good memory."

"How should we do-"

She cuts him off by tugging his lips down to hers and kissing him hard. He responds immediately, his arms closing their hold around her, tugging ever closer. She closes her eyes and loses awareness of the beach and the rain.

When they finally pull away for air, he smiles at her before pressing his damp forehead to hers. "I love rain," he whispers.


	25. Human Traffic - Part I

Episode 2.1 - Human Traffic. Part I.

"Where is Marty?" Kensi asks.

Bates sighs. "We don't know."

Kensi feels her heart clench as her worst nightmare comes true. She and Marty may not get the future they have been planning together for so long. The decade she has spent with him is just not enough.

Her chest heaves as she fights to keep control of her emotions. Standing in the familiar apartment they have shared for years, she's bombarded with memories. So many good memories. But not _enough_.

"Why don't we sit down?" Bates says gently.

She nods and leads him to the kitchen table. She practically collapses onto a chair as Bates sits across from her.

"We're doing everything we can to find him," Bates says.

She takes a deep breath and swallows down her fears. The giant, gaping hole of despair is pulling at her, but she refuses to let go and fall in. She will be strong than that for him. So, she shakes her head and stares the older man down. "Please don't handle me. I need to know what's going on."

He considers her for a moment before nodding. "I came here in the hopes that he would have reached out to you."

She shakes her head. "I haven't heard from him."

"That was evident the moment you opened the door." He sighs. "Your husband was undercover as a dirty lawyer helping a would-be human trafficker buy property to set up safe houses for, well, their products."

She nods. She hadn't known the details, but she had known he was working a human trafficking case. After his last experience with human traffickers, she knows how important this was to him.

"The subject of his assignment was Emilio Ortega and his body guard Luis Fellano." Bates pulls out his phone to show Kensi pictures of both men. "Ortega spent his youth running guns and drugs across the Mexican border. Then he landed in LA and took over a street gang. Our intel told us more recently he was approached by a Serbian names Lasik, who wanted him for his skills to traffic kidnapped women across the US-Mexican border."

Kensi takes an uneven breath as she nods along. "So, he...missed a check in?"

Bates sighs. "Ortega's car blew up around seven last night."

Kensi sucks in a sharp breath as she feels her heart begin to thump in her chest.

Bates holds up a hand and speaks before she has a chance to. "There were two occupants in the car, and we have confirmed they were Ortega and Fellano."

She releases a breath. "So, he wasn't in the car."

"No, he wasn't in the car. But he also hasn't checked in and we can't reach him."

"That would be protocol?" She surmises.

Bates nods. "Exactly." He hesitates for a moment before adding, "We have multiple options for him to make contact discreetly if his cover is still viable and he's somehow onto another player, possibly Lasik."

Kensi feels her heart clench. She doesn't want to ask, but she feels she needs to. "Do you...do you think he's alive?"

He sighs. "I sure as hell hope so."

00

Twenty minutes later, Kensi is on her way to Deeks's precinct. With little convincing, Bates had agreed to read her in on the entire operation. She's more glad than ever that he now knows what she actually does for a living. He had insisted she let him drive her though, and she relented, just not having the energy to argue right now.

It's not until she's in the car that she realizes she's expected at work within minutes. She pulls out her phone and places a call to Hetty.

"Kensi, how are you, my dear?" Hetty answers the phone, letting Kensi know immediately that she knows exactly the state of Kensi's world at current.

"I just need him home," she sort of answers Hetty's question. Because she is not okay. And she won't be okay until she knows her husband is safe and has him home with her. And if he doesn't come home... Well, then, she's never going to be okay again. She swallows hard, forcing down her emotions. "I'm on my way to his precinct with Lieutenant Bates."

"Of course. I just got off the phone with Detective Traynor and I'm about to brief the team. We'll be looking for him, too."

She's not able to keep all of her emotions down at this, knowing this case is not strictly within their jurisdiction. "Thank you, Hetty," she manages to say.

"Mr. Deeks is one of us," Hetty insists. "And he's your family. We will do all we can to bring him home. I already have Mr. Beale looking for any available video surveillance in the area. And as soon as Mr. Hanna and Mr. Callen are aware of the situation, you know they will not rest until he is found."

"Thank you," Kensi says again. "Whatever you need to tell them, tell them. I just...I don't care right now."

"I appreciate that, Kensi. I will divulge your secret if I have to, but I don't want the team distracted with new information and worrying about you. Let's get Mr. Deeks home and then you may tell the team in a happier time, hmm?"

Kensi tries to smile, but it falls flat. What had once been one of her biggest stressors now seems so damn trivial. "I hope so."

Hetty clicks her tongue. "All is not lost, Mrs. Deeks. You remember that."

"I'll try."

They end the call and Kensi puts her phone back in her pocket. Beside her, Bates is quiet, giving her time and space to process what is happening. It's a minute later that she realizes that had been the first time Hetty had ever called her Mrs. Deeks and not Ms. Blye.

Somehow, _that_ made her feel just a little bit better.

00

When Hetty hangs up her call, she makes her way up the stairs to OPs. Callen, Sam, Eric and Nate are already waiting.

"Mr. Beale," she calls, directing the young technical operator to bring the case up onto the big screen.

"Earlier this morning I received a call from the LAPD," she starts, knowing she has the full attention of the team. Callen and Sam glance at each other and then her, clearly noticing Kensi's absence, but aren't about to mention it. "They have lost contact with Detective Deeks. He's been on an extended undercover assignment since he left us."

"How long has he been out of contact?" Callen asks.

"Yesterday afternoon."

"It's kind of soon to be hitting the panic button, isn't it?" Sam asks.

Hetty nods to Eric, who takes over and explains the major players in the assignment, their subsequent deaths in a car bomb the night before, and Deeks's radio silence since the bomb.

"Mr. Deeks's case officer phoned to see if he had been in contact with us. I offered our assistance."

"Is there a military angle to this?" Callen asks.

"No, but Detective Deeks is our liaison officer with the LAPD, which makes him about as close to one of us as it gets." She gives them a moment to let that sink in.

Nate clears his throat. "Where is Kensi?" He asks carefully.

Hetty shares a look of understanding with the psychologist, knowing he is the only other person in the room aware of just who Deeks is to their junior agent. She hears and appreciates the concern in his voice. "Ms. Blye is on her way to Mr. Deeks's precinct," she tells the truth. "She will be read into the case in full by the LAPD. And will be on hand to share information if needed. Meanwhile, Mr. Deeks's case officer, Detective Jess Traynor, will brief you all in the boatshed."

"Wouldn't it be better if Kensi were with us?" Callen asks.

"If we go out in the field, we're already down an agent, and without Kensi we're down two," Sam adds.

Hetty doesn't allow anything to show on her face; like how her junior agent will not be allowed into the field with her husband missing. "If the LAPD can liaise with us, we can liaise with them. Ms. Blye will remain where she is for now. I will get word to her to meet you at the boatshed if possible, but that is all."

They don't question her again.

Hetty follows them down the stairs as they leave for the boatshed. She returns to her desk, knowing she is being followed. "Mr. Getz, what can I do for you?" She asks before turning and seating herself.

He sighs. "Do you want me to go to Deeks's precinct to help Kensi?"

She considers his offer for a moment before shaking her head. "The only way we're going to help Ms. Blye right now is by finding her husband."

"She's alone and she could use support."

"The LAPD take care of their own," Hetty says. "And right now, as Mr. Deeks's wife, she is one of theirs. They will take care of her. She would only be more frustrated here, not allowed into the field and with less information. Not to mention a team that would not understand or be preoccupied by reacting to the news."

"You're not going to tell them?"

"Not if I don't have to. They need to think they're looking for a missing cop. After losing Mr. Vail..." Hetty sighs. "They need to be objective. And I'm afraid knowing who Mr. Deeks really is would only cause them to be distracted."

Nate nods. "I agree."

"Help Eric run his searches for now."

"Okay," he says, before turning and heading back up the stairs.

Alone at her desk, Hetty releases a sigh and shakes her head. "Bugger."

00

When Kensi arrives at the precinct, there is a team of detectives and officers already established with the sole task of finding her husband. She's both impressed and incredibly grateful for their dedication and determination. Some she has met before at LAPD functions and some she doesn't know.

A senior detective, Detective Carter, who Kensi has met a couple times, meets her and Bates as they enter the precinct.

"Any news?" Bates asks.

Carter looks uncomfortably at Kensi and then back to his boss. "Not yet, Sir," he says. "But no bad news yet, either."

Kensi knows he's only saying that for her benefit.

Bates nods her direction as they begin to walk towards the team working to find Marty. "You've met Mrs. Deeks?"

"Yes," Carter answers before addressing Kensi directly. "I'm so sorry, Mrs. Deeks. But I assure you we are all doing everything in our power to bring your husband home safe. We're following every possible lead." He pauses to offer a well practiced smile that would probably be comforting if she didn't have her own well practiced smile for situations just like this. "Would you like me to show you to our lounge while you wait? It'll be more comfortable for you," he says as they step into the conference room being used for the team looking for Deeks. Sitting around the table are a dozen or so cops with open files, laptops and notepads. She recognizes at least three of the cops in the room.

Kensi shakes her head. "I'm not here to wait around and be handled, thank you. I'm here to be read in and help look for my husband."

She was aware she had the attention of the room when she stepped into it. And she's aware when her words cause silence to fall for a long moment as they catch everyone by surprise. She knows they think she's just an administrative worker who happens to be married to a cop, but in this moment she just doesn't care.

Bates meets her eyes and she nods once.

He clears his throat, addressing Carter while actually addressing the room. "Mrs. Deeks is also Agent Blye. She's an NCIS agent and is to be included in our operation. Her team have offered their assistance and are being briefed by Traynor as we speak. We _will_ all work together on this."

Carter looks surprised, but nods his agreement to Bates. He turns to Kensi. "You are, of course, welcome to be part of the investigation, uh..." He trails off. "Do you prefer Agent Blye or Mrs. Deeks?"

For a moment, she's not sure what to say. She's always Mrs. Deeks, and is professionally Agent Blye. But even though she's here as Marty's wife she knows she's only being included like this because she's an agent. "Kensi is fine," she says.

This seems to be the right answer. Carter nods and ushers her to a seat at the conference table beside his station. He proceeds to walk her through the case and their lines of investigation so far.

00

An hour later, her phone rings. The caller ID says it's Callen. Unwilling to miss the opportunity for more information if it's available, she stands and steps away from the table. "It's my team," she tells Carter. He nods his understanding.

"Callen," she greets. "Any news?"

"Are you still at the precinct?" He asks.

"Yes, but-"

"I need you to step away from any LAPD you're near."

She feels her heart start thumping in her chest. Because she _knows_ he's calling with bad news. After three years of working with him, she can hear it in his tone. And if she's about to learn her husband is dead, she could care less how anyone else finds out. "Did-did you find him? Is he..." She can't even say it.

"It's not Deeks," Callen says. "Now get yourself to a private location."

She swallows down the swell of emotion, trying to convince herself to believe the team leaders words, while her heart continues to beat wildly in her chest.

She waves the phone as she addresses Carter. "I'm just going to step out for a moment."

Stepping out of the conference room, she finds a quiet place by the windows. The desks around her are vacant of officers. It's as private as she's going to get. "Okay, Callen, go ahead."

"Someone blew up Deeks's handler's car," he says bluntly, not knowing of Kensi's budding friendship with the woman.

Kensi feels like she's been punched in the gut and closes her eyes. "Jess Traynor?"

"Yes."

"Was she...was she in the car?"

"Yes."

"Do you know for sure it was her?"

"We watched her get in." Callen says bluntly. And again, she cannot fault him because he has no way of knowing of her relationship with Deeks, Traynor or the LAPD in general.

Her chest heaves and she feels tears well in her eyes. She hadn't known the woman well, but she had appreciated what she had done for her and Marty, and she had looked forward to building a friendship with her. She reminded Kensi of herself. A young woman with a hell of a drive because of something that happened to her in childhood. She was one of very few people who had understood Kensi's motivations. It wasn't fair that she had lost her life this way. She had deserved to see through her plan.

"There's more," Callen says without waiting for Kensi to say anything, which is good because Kensi isn't sure she's capable of saying anything at all right now. "It happened right after she was done briefing us. And only us and the LAPD knew where she would be."

Her heart starts hammering again. "So, you're saying..."

"Someone at LAPD has to be involved; sold her out to whoever was behind the bomb in Ortega's car last night."

She runs her hand through her hair.

"There were civilians around," Callen continues. "They already called 911. Word is going to get back to the people you are working with very soon, but I want you to deliver the news. Gauge everyone's reaction."

She nods to herself, grateful at the very least for a task to focus on. "And if I think it's someone on the team here?"

"Make an excuse to leave the room and call me back in private. Don't try let them know you're on to them. Not where you have no support."

She knows he's wrong and she has lots of support here with her husband's co-workers. But she also knows he has no way of knowing that. She reminds herself of Hetty's words earlier. Callen and Sam need to not be distracted trying to save her husband. They need to think they're just looking for their liaison.

"And...Detective Deeks?" She asks hopefully.

"We're still looking." Callen ends the call.

She hadn't exactly expected good news, but her heart hurts all the same. She sniffs as she pockets her phone and makes her way back into the conference room. Half of the cops take note of her re-entry and the other half also look up when she doesn't sit back down. In a moment, she has everyone's attention.

"Unfortunately, I have some bad news," she says solemnly.

"Did your team find Marty?" Carter asks carefully, his voice full of sympathy. His expression tells her he fully believes he expects her sudden downtrodden expression to be a result of having been given bad news and he's trying to take away the responsibility for telling everyone else.

She shakes her head. "No." She takes a breath. "I just heard from my team leader. After they were briefed by Detective Traynor...someone blew up her car."

There is a collective gasp and she takes advantage of the shock to glance at each cop, gauging their reaction and expression for clues of dishonesty.

"Jess is..." One of the young cops begins to ask, but can't finish the question.

Kensi nods. "I'm afraid so. I'm so sorry for your loss."

"When did this happen?" Carter asks, having recovered from his shock.

"Just a few minutes ago."

"I'll be right back," he says, stepping out of the room.

Kensi continues to answer the team's questions as best she can, but they soon stop asking her questions when they realize she truly doesn't have much information. She continues to study each of them for guilt, but notices nothing that sets off any warning bells.

Carter returns after a few minutes. "I talked to Bates," he announces. "Scarli is on his way to the scene. He'll keep us apprised..."

The team begins to ask questions again, and Carter attempts to answer with the limited information he now has.

Kensi backs out of the room, not wanting to go through this again. While they may noticed her exit, no one calls her on it. She has tears welling in her eyes as she walks down the hall, and they're falling down her cheeks as she finds the bathroom and pushes open the door. There are three stalls to the left which are, thankfully, empty. She tucks herself against the far wall under the small window and sinks down to the floor, her knees bent up against her chest. She wraps her arms around her knees and allows herself to cry.

Her friend is dead, and her husband is missing and maybe dead. And the team searching for him is definitely dedicated, but now distracted by Jess's death. And, oh yeah, one of them may be involved.

She's isolated from her team, who wouldn't understand anyway.

And she just doesn't know what to do.

This was supposed to be his last undercover assignment. And the he was to be home for good.

Things aren't supposed to end like this. She _needs_ him. They have a whole future coming to them. A future they deserve. A _plan_.

Her chest heaves and a new batch of tears spring to her eyes. Because she misses her husband. She's missed him so much these past three and a half months. And the three months before that, because they had only had those few days together between assignments.

She's basically been without him for half a year, and she's desperate for that to not turn into forever.

She misses his smile and the way he makes her laugh. And the way he holds her and makes her feel loved and cherished. And the way his eyes light up when she tells him she's proud of him.

And she is. She's _so_ proud of him. So proud of his integrity and the choices he made that led him here. She's never regretted him becoming a cop. But to possibly lose him because of a dirty cop...

She shudders and swipes at her tears as she contemplates the unfathomable possibility. She knows there isn't a step she wouldn't take to-

Her phone rings, jarring her attention. She pulls it out of her pocket, wondering if its Callen calling with more news. The unfamiliar number makes her frown.

She clears her throat. "Hello?"

"Kens."

She jolts upright at the very familiar and _very welcome_ voice. "Marty! You're al-" She cuts herself off as a new batch of tears - happy this time - flood her eyes. "Are you okay?"

She hears him sigh and shift. "I'll be okay. I...I think I'm in some trouble."

"You think? Where the hell have you been?"

"It's a long story," he tells her.

"Are you safe?" She asks.

"Yes. For now."

She breathes a sigh of relief. "You scared the hell out of me, Marty."

"I'm so sorry, Kens. I..." He trails off for a moment and she can hear him breathing. "I just...Oh."

"It's okay," she soothes. "Just breathe with me, Marty. I'm okay as long as you're okay."

"I'm okay," he whispers.

"Then I'm okay. And I really want you home," she adds softly, not bothering to wipe away the tears streaming down her face.

She can hear him exhale at that. "Home." He pauses and she can hear him swallow hard. "Yeah, I really want that, too."

"Good."

He's quiet for a moment. "I tried to call Jess, but..."

"I know."

"I can't believe she's...dead."

"I know," she says again. "I'm so sorry."

"She didn't deserve that."

"Something bigger is going on, Marty," Kensi tells him, trying to refocus him. "She was with Callen and Sam when it happened. And only NCIS and LAPD knew about where she would be."

"And your team didn't plant a car bomb," he says, catching on and allowing her to guide him away from his shock.

"Exactly."

"This is such a mess."

"Who do you know for sure we can trust here at the LAPD?"

"Here?" He questions. "You're at-"

"Your precinct," she confirms. "Bates came to get me this morning."

"Bates I'm pretty sure can be trusted," he answers her original question. But...I'm not there enough to know for sure about anyone, really." He sighs. "And..."

"And what?"

"LAPD will just shut down the operation."

"What operation? Marty, the subject of your assignment is dead. They're in clean up mode here. As soon as they know you're alive, they'll bring you and that's it. There is no assignment anymore." She doesn't need to add that his handler is dead along with the subject of the assignment.

"How much do you know about the assignment?"

"They've read me into everything."

"Good. Lasik's in town."

"The Serbian funding Ortega?"

"Yes. He had Ortega killed. And he's only going to find another local to take over this part of his operation. But if I can meet with him he may give up enough information to either take him down or finally allow another agency to go after him."

"I don't know if that's a good idea..."

He sighs. "Try to stop thinking as my wife for a minute. Think as the kickass agent I know you are."

She echoes his sigh and closes her eyes. "You really think you can get him to talk?"

"I think I'm the best chance anyone's had in years with this guy."

"Okay. Let's talk about it."

"But we need to leave LAPD out of it," he insists. "They're only going to shut it down."

"I won't say anything. We can run it by Callen and Sam."

"Okay."

"Can you get to the Mission?"

"Uh, not quickly. I'm really not close."

"I'll come pick you up. Where are you?" She asks as footsteps walk past the bathroom door, reminding her where she is. "Don't answer that," she says quickly, suddenly aware of the slightest possibility their conversation is being listened to. "Tell me somewhere I can meet you that only I would understand."

He's silent for a moment. "I love you," he finally says.

"I love you, too," she echoes, smiling as the feel of the words on her tongue after so long without saying them.

"I love hearing you say that," he says. "Ever since that first time."

00

 _~March 2001~_

 _It was early and still more dark than light when they arrived at the beach. But the planned surfing lesson was quickly put on hold when one glance at the water told them both there would be no surfing today. The water was calm and flat and completely unfit for surfing._

 _Halfway down the beach, Deeks stuck his board into the sand and swore._

 _Kensi stopped beside him, duffle bag slung over her shoulder with their towels. "We can go swimming instead," she suggested, not off put by the required activity change._

 _"Yeah." He sighed. "I was just...looking forward to surfing with you again." They'd had to take a couple weeks off of lessons to let her ankle heal after she'd twisted it running. "And then I dragged you all the way down here for nothing."_

 _"Not for nothing," she insisted._

 _He said nothing and stared towards the water. She watched as his cheeks puffed out and he slowly exhaled. When he was finished, she stepped closer and bumped his hip with hers. "What's going on, Marty?"_

 _He turned to meet her eyes. "I just... I was looking forward to this morning. And I feel like I let you down."_

 _She felt her heart clench a bit at both his words and his openness with her. In times like those, she felt like she could look back and measure their relationship in steps forward. And at each step, he let her in a little further. Their talk after she had hurt her ankle had been the last big step._

 _"You seriously think I'm going to let you blame yourself for there being no waves this morning? Seriously?"_

 _He huffed a laugh. "When you put it that way, it sounds a little unreasonable."_

 _"A little?" She echoed. "What way could you possibly put it where it doesn't sound unreasonable?"_

 _He squinted his eyes as he stared at her. "I may need a minute to think..."_

 _She laughed and swiped at his shoulder._

 _He laughed, too, causing her heart to swell at the knowledge that she turned his mood around._

 _She dropped the duffel bag onto the sand and stepped into his warm body, snaking her arms around his waist. "Honestly, Marty, I like surfing. But really I like surfing because of how much you like it. Mostly, I just like spending time with you."_

 _He said nothing for a long moment, but closed his arms tightly around her and sighed happily._

 _"This is just as good," she told him._

 _He ducked his head to plant a kiss on her shoulder. "You are absolutely right."_

 _She was smiling when he released her far enough to meet her eyes._

 _"I really like spending time with you, too, Kens," he told her before ducking his head to capture her lips in a soft kiss._

 _When he pulled away from the kiss, he smiled softly down at her. She felt a swell of emotion in her chest as she stared back up at him, feeling cherished and safe and_ loved _in his arms. She tightened her grip on his shoulders and took a breath before whispering, "I love you, Marty."_

 _He exhaled sharply. And then the corners of his lips curled upwards and he nodded once. "I love you, too."_

00

Kensi pulls into the parking lot by the strip of beach where she spent much of her college years. Being that it's just after noon on a very hot late July day, it's not overly busy. She pulls the car into the far corner of the lot and gets out. She is halfway across the lot when she hears her name.

She turns and is pretty sure she's never been so relieved.

Because her husband is hurrying towards her.

He's skinnier than when she last saw him. And he looks haggard. And...she's pretty sure his face is scraped pretty good.

But he is alive. And in one piece. And walking towards her.

She practically runs into his arms.

He makes and over exaggerated 'oomph' noise when they collide, but is as quick as she is to wrap his arms around her.

"Marty," she whispers, burying her face into his shoulder as she wraps her arms around his neck and grips tightly at the fabric of his shirt, not wanting even the slightest chance of him leaving her arms a moment sooner than she is ready.

He hugs her back just as fiercely. "Kensi. Oh, God, Kensi." He holds her tight, one hand on the back of her head and the other arm around her waist.

"You are not allowed to scare me like that again," she demands.

He half laughs and half sobs. "I'll try my best."

She sniffs and pulls back only exactly far enough to meet his eyes and then frowns at his face. Because it looks worse close up. His skin is angry and red, welted and scratched and burned. "Are you okay? You said you were okay?"

"I'm stinging pretty good, but it's all superficial."

"And the rest of you?" She runs a hand down his chest and side, over his ribs.

He flinches slightly and she moves to step away, but he tightens his hold and stops her. "Please don't. I'm okay. Sore, but okay. And I don't..." He trails off and breathes heavily for a moment. "I need you close."

"Okay."

He nods and breathes again. His chest heaves against hers.

She lays a hand over his chest, trying to force a sense of calm. She's seen him come off of bad undercovers before. She's been there for the aftermath of every bad experience he's had behind his badge. And she knows without asking that this was a very close call. She says nothing, but cocks her head.

He shakes his head and looks away.

"Hey," she calls softly. "No secrets, remember?"

He nods slowly and then drags his eyes back to her. "It was really close," he admits. "I was in the car with Ortega and his..." He trails off and scoffs. "His remote for his security gate wasn't working. So, I jumped out to open the gate... That's when the car blew. That's why I'm alive. Because of a shitty gate remote."

Kensi ignores her own pounding heart at the news. "The thing to focus on, Marty, is that you're alive."

He nods again. "Ortega's bodyguards were trailing us in another car. After the explosion they threw me into the back of their car and took me to a doctor." He huffs like he's trying to laugh, but it falls flat. "In retrospect, I'm pretty sure he was a vet. He tried to patch me up and shot me with a horse tranquilizer." He pauses and swallows hard. "Put me out for sixteen hours. I tried to call Jess when I woke up. And then I called you."

"Then you called me," she echoes. She knows both that he was following protocol by trying to check in with his handler and breaking protocol by checking in with her.

"I knew you'd have my back," he tells her.

"Always. No matter what," she tells him fiercely. "You and me."

"You and me," he echoes with the most confidence she's heard from him since he called her an hour earlier.

She hooks her fingers into the collar of his shirt and tugs him down for a short but defining kiss.

When she pulls away, Marty is more grounded and steady.

"Let's go see what we can do to see this case through." She holds out her hand.

He takes her hand and walks with her towards the car. "Thank you," he whispers.

She squeezes his hand. "You would do the same for me."

"I would," he confirms.

When they are close to the car, he manages a half smile and bumps her hips with his. "Do I get to drive?"

"Why should I let you drive? I came to pick you up."

"It's my car."

She dangles the keys playfully. "Bates drove me the precinct. Your car was there."

"And he just gave it to you?"

"We're married. It's half mine."

He actually laughs. "You drive. I'll ride shotgun."

She gets into the car and everything is right in the world when her husband slides in next to her. She slips the key into the ignition but pauses for a moment before turning on the car to savour the moment. Because equilibrium has been restored to her life. She has her future back.

His hand reaches across the car to settle on her knee. He says nothing, but squeezes affectionately, telling her he understands. She shoots him a smile and then turns on the car.

"Let's go do this thing. Together."

"Together," he confirms.


	26. Human Traffic - Part II

Episode 2.1 - Human Traffic. Part II.

When they arrive at the Mission, Kensi turns off the car, but makes no move to get out. Beside her, Marty is quiet and still; nothing like his usual self. His hand is still resting on her knee, so she drops her hand onto it and squeezes.

"I wish we could just go home and hide from the world," she tells him.

He flips his hand over and threads their fingers together. "Me, too."

They share a look of understanding, both knowing their individual and combined drive and sense of duty is too strong to turn their back on this now. But also kind of wishing they led normal lives; lives where they had fallen in love in college, gotten married, moved to the suburbs and now lived in their bungalow with two-point-five kids and nine-to-five jobs.

"I'm sorry," he begins, but she shakes her head, cutting him off.

"I like our life, Marty." She squeezes his hand.

"No regrets?"

"No regrets." She offers him a small smile. "You just scared the hell out of me this morning. I am not ready to lose you."

"I'm not ready to leave you," he says softly.

She feels her heart clench and turns in her seat as far as she can to face him. She reaches her other hand to their combined hands so his left hand is sandwiched between both of hers. "I missed you so much," she tells him, reminding them both they've basically spent the past half year apart. "And I'm so glad you're here with me right now."

"Me, too, Kens." He leans towards her for a quick kiss. "Me, too."

"We are going to finish this," she continues. "And then we are going to go home. Together."

"Together," he echoes, before taking a breath. "I'm really liking the sound of that."

"Then let's do this." She gets out of the car, knowing he's following her lead.

They walk together into the building. The main floor is pretty much empty, and is void of the team.

"They must be up in OPs," Kensi says as she drops her bag by her desk.

He nods. "Do they know...?"

He doesn't need to finish his sentence for her to understand exactly what he is asking. "I don't think so."

Deeks raises an eyebrow. "How do you not know?"

"They didn't know when I left yesterday. But after this morning... They were looking for you, too. I told Hetty I didn't care what she told them. She said she would try not to tell them to keep them objective."

He nods and opens his mouth.

"Don't you dare apologize again," she says sharply before he can say a single word.

He quickly shuts his mouth and then laughs. "How did you know what I was going to say?"

She rolls her eyes. "Because you're incredibly predictable. And I know you better than anyone."

He stares her down for a moment. "Okay, genius wife of mine, what am I thinking right now?"

"Probably something stupid and random because you think I'll never guess. So..." She trails off as she studies him. His lips curl ever so slightly and then his jaw tightens as he controls his expression. But she knows she has him. She knows it's something about her. His eyes are twinkling, so it's something he thinks is funny and she probably doesn't...

She reaches out and swipes at his shoulder. "You're wondering how many plants I killed when you were gone."

His mouth opens and he gapes at her for ax extended moment. "How did you...?"

"I told you. I know you."

"So?"

"So?" She echoes, not understanding.

"How many plants?"

"None of your business." She turns and begins to make her way up the stairs to OPs.

He laughs out loud as he follows behind her.

When the doors to OPs open, Kensi finds the rest of her team. Callen and Sam are staring at the big screen, along with Hetty, and Eric is sitting at his computer terminal with Nate beside him.

"Kensi, good, we were just about to call and-" Callen cuts himself off as he spots Deeks behind her.

Deeks clears his throat softly as he follows Kensi into the room and stops beside her when she stops.

"Look who I found," Kensi says to all the surprised faces.

"Mr. Deeks," Hetty says, stepping forward, "We were beginning to think you were dead."

"Not yet," Deeks says. "Not for lack of trying, though."

Kensi forces herself not to react to her husband's words. She knows he's vulnerable and armoring himself right now. And his humour is his best defense.

Hetty glances at Kensi and then frowns at Deeks. "You're not too badly hurt?"

Kensi watches her husband glance at Callen and Sam, who are both staring critically at him, and then look back to Hetty. "No, I'm fine." He points to his face. "This is all superficial."

Hetty tightens her lips like she doesn't believe him, but she lets it go.

"Glad you're alright," Callen offers.

Sam nods. "Good to see you."

Kensi allows herself a small smile at the look of relief on her team members' faces. And also at the small hint of belonging in Marty's expression. Because despite the less than stellar first and second cases worked together, he has made a good impression with Callen and Sam. And right now, Callen and Sam are genuinely happy to see him. And Marty recognizes that. She catches Nate's eye and they exchange a small smile. She knows he sees what's going on here, too. Even if the rest of the team doesn't know who Deeks is to her, he's as close to a fourth as they have left. And the team can't afford to lose another member. The fact that he's here and in one piece is healing for more than just her.

"Thanks," he says.

"That," Callen points to Deeks's face, "Was from the explosion?"

Deeks nods.

"Then where the hell have you been?"

Deeks proceeds to tell the team about his fortuitous escape from the car bomb, his treatment from the doctor/vet and his sixteen hour drugged nap. "Emilio Ortega is dead," he says. "But Lasik is in town. The friendly vet told me. If I can just meet with him, get him to incriminate himself, I could get information to take down an _international_ scale human trafficking ring."

Callen and Sam glance at each other and then back to Deeks. Before they can speak, though, Hetty steps in.

"You're asking us to take over an LAPD investigation? Without any jurisdiction?"

Deeks sighs. "I'm asking you to help me with my investigation. And I am LAPD. This is _my_ investigation. And technically, Lasik has ties in far more than human trafficking. I'm sure we can find something to make it your jurisdiction. At least enough to make the argument to the LAPD. If we do nothing, the LAPD will shut down the investigation. Lasik will find another source in California and he'll start again. We have nothing to lose by trying to take him down."

"That's very persuasive, Mr. Deeks."

"Thank you."

To everyone's surprise, Callen chuckles. "I guess you have a lot of practice."

"Uh...I'm sorry?"

"Apparently you used to be a lawyer?"

"That's right," Sam adds. "When Traynor briefed us, she said you were a lawyer."

"Really?" Eric jumps in. "That's so cool."

Deeks crosses his arms over his chest, both protective and a little defensive, but Kensi is pretty sure she is the only one who notices. As much as she wants to step in and tell the team to leave him be, she lets him field questions from the team, knowing both that he doesn't want her overprotective and that the team doesn't mean any harm.

"So?" Sam prompts.

"So?" Deeks echoes.

"You were a lawyer?"

"Yes," he answers. "Technically still am one. Not planning to go through the hell that is writing the bar again anytime soon."

00

~July 2004~

 _Kensi got home to find her husband flat out on their bed, a textbook on administrative law laying open on his chest._

 _She padded up to the bed and snuggled in beside him._

 _"How was your day?" She asked cheerfully._

 _He groaned. "Day two of hell was the same as day one. Except my hand hurts more." He waved his right hand at her._

 _"Only one day left."_

 _He groaned again. "Why did I want to be a lawyer again?"_

 _She laughed. "Beats me."_

 _This time he laughed, too. "You're supposed to be supportive and life confirming in these situations."_

 _"I don't remember that in the vows."_

 _He laughed again._

 _"How about making sure you meet your goal of actually becoming a lawyer by making sure you pass the bar exam by pointing out that sleeping with your text book on your chest does not constitute studying."_

 _"First of all, I am not sleeping. I am resting."_

 _"Sure."_

 _"And second, I'm learning through osmosis."_

 _She rolled her eyes, but she couldn't help the laugh that escapes her lips at the same time. "You're an idiot."_

 _He shrugged awkwardly from his position. "That only makes you an idiot, too; for marrying me."_

 _She made a show of sighing, but then rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm okay with that."_

 _"I'm glad."_

 _"Me, too." She reached across his chest for his right hand and tugged it towards herself. He groaned as she began to dig her fingers into the small muscles and tendons, massaging the overused hand; sore from all the writing._

 _"This is nice," he whispered. "I don't want to study anymore."_

 _"Just one more day. Tomorrow night you won't need to study anymore."_

 _"Unless I fail and have to take the bar again."_

 _"You're not going to fail. You know everything you need to know. What does_ pro per _mean?"_

 _He huffed. "It's_ pro se _."_

 _"See? You know everything."_

 _He rolled so he was facing her, his hand still in her care. "You think so?"_

 _She nodded. "Who's the husband of the wife of the best lawyer ever?"_

 _He made a face, but then smiled and said softly, "Me?"_

 _She beamed and shuffled forward so she could kiss him. "Correct."_

00

Kensi bites back a smile at the memory of her husband writing the bar exam. Three gruelling days followed by a day of sleeping. And then two months of waiting for results.

"Why did you stop being a lawyer?" Eric asks.

Deeks bristles slightly, clearly not comfortable with these personal questions from people he really doesn't know. "I wanted to be a cop," he says shortly.

"How long were you practicing?" Nate asks, genuinely curious.

"I was with the Public Defenders' office for about a year and a half."

"So, you spent more time in school to become a lawyer than actually being a lawyer?" Sam points out.

"Pretty much."

"Must regret that. Would have been easier to just apply to the police academy."

Deeks shakes his head once. "I don't regret a single moment of it. Best thing I ever did."

The questions stop for a moment, as the team is a little taken aback by Deeks's response. Kensi fights to keep her smile at bay. Because she understands what he means. Him wanting to be a lawyer brought them together.

"Hey, Kensi, didn't you date a lawyer once?" Callen calls out, clearly trying to take the attention off of Deeks.

She shoots her team leader a glare. Yes, she's grateful he's sort of trying to help out Deeks. But she wishes Callen could know how badly he is failing right now to leave Deeks out of this.

"Not a lawyer," Eric quips before Kensi can say anything. "A law student."

Half a dozen comebacks spring to her mind which would shut down this line of conversation in a heartbeat. But she hesitates. Because she did date a law student. And she married that law student. And that law student became a lawyer, and then that lawyer became a cop. And he's standing next to her. And he's alive and she loves him so damn much. After this morning, she can't quite remember why any of this is a secret.

"Really?" Marty says when she says nothing for too long. He meets her eyes with a playful smile before turning back to the team. "Well, I know one thing. If I had managed to get her to go out with me when I was a law student, I would never have let her go."

Kensi rolls her eyes at his cheesiness, but it serves its purpose.

Sam scoffs and Callen chuckles. Behind them, Hetty smiles knowingly. Nate does as well, while beside him, Eric is laughing along with Callen.

"She would have eaten you alive, Deeks," Sam says.

Kensi opens her mouth to defend her relationship, but her husband gets there first again.

He shrugs in a carefree manner. "Debatable."

"Not from where we're standing."

Kensi frowns and then glares at Sam. "I can speak for myself, thanks," she tells him.

He has the decency to look sorry, but also looks interested in what she has to say to 'speak for herself.'

Kensi doesn't miss the look of surprise when she says nothing.

00

An hour later, they've managed to put together a plan to send Deeks back in to meet with Lasik, who his original target, Ortega, was working for. Lasik has protected himself well over the years, but is thought to be involved in a European human trafficking ring at minimum. Deeks can confirm Lasik had approached Ortega about setting up safe houses to move trafficked girls across the border.

They have Deeks - as his alias, Dale John Sully - call Lasik to set up a meeting.

When he hangs up the phone, he relays the address to them. It's a decommissioned power plant.

"He's going to be suspicious," Kensi says.

Callen nods. "He'll search you. Can't send you in wired, and he'll probably take your phone."

"Eric, pull up the blue prints," Sam asks.

Eric does so and the team studies them for a moment.

Sam shakes his head. "He's going to be watching the entrances." He points out the two main entrances. "Our only move is to sneak in during the distraction of you entering."

"But that leaves you vulnerable. We won't be able to have your back because we won't immediately know if something is wrong," Callen says.

Kensi doesn't like this plan. She doesn't like it one bit. But she doesn't voice her opinion out loud, knowing it's not her call. She meets her husband's eyes for a long moment. And she knows he can tell she doesn't like it.

"It'll be fine," he says, talking to her even though he's addressing the team. "Even if Lasik is suspicious of me, he'll want to know what I know first. He won't make any moves the moment I show up."

Callen is still staring at the screen, studying the layout of the building. "It's risky," he tells Deeks. "But if you're up for it, we'll back you."

Deeks cocks his head ever so slightly as he continues to meet Kensi's eyes. She wants so much to call off the entire operation and take him home. But this is what they do. And she knows he has demons about human trafficking in particular he needs to put to rest, for himself and now also for Jess Traynor. And if they're working together, their chance of success is that much better. She nods once, telling him it's okay to say yes.

"I'm up for it," he says to the team.

Callen looks away from the screen. "Okay. Kensi, you're on over watch." He points to a second building to the side of the main building. "Set up here. Looks like the best line into the building."

She nods.

Callen looks back to Deeks. "She's the best shot of the three of us."

Deeks smiles. "Doesn't surprise me."

"Sam, try to get in here." Callen continues, pointing to side entrance of the screen.

Sam nods. "You coming in the main entrance after Deeks?"

"I have another idea." He turns to Eric. "You said earlier that Lasik is a known cocaine user, right? And has a local dealer?"

Eric nods. "Yes. Tommy Bishop." He types on his keyboard to bring up a picture of the local drug dealer. "As far as we understand, the LAPD have him in custody."

"Detective Scarli is probably bringing in anyone related to the case," Callen says.

"Scarli's in charge of Jess's murder investigation?" Deeks asks,

"You know him?" Sam asks.

"By reputation more than anything. Tough and gruff, but gets the job done."

"Better get the job done. He sure as hell wasn't welcoming to us at the crime scene this morning."

Deeks shrugs. "Do you want me to apologize about that? I can't control another cop's behaviour."

Sam bristles. "I never said I expected you too. It would just be nice to be welcomed by the LAPD."

"That's almost funny coming from you, Sam," Deeks volleys back.

Sam tightens his jaw, but says nothing in return.

Callen clears his throat, regaining control of the room. "Sam, you sneak in the side door in the distraction of Deeks showing up. I'll come in the main door after Deeks. But I doubt they'll leave the door unprotected."

"Drug angle?" Sam asks, right there with his partner.

Callen nods. "Just need a box of kleenex and some duct tape."

00

Kensi exhales as she shifts slightly, adjusting her position. The ground beneath her knees is hard and a little damp, but she doesn't allow that to distract her as she directs her attention through her riffle scope. She has found an optimal position on the edge of a walkway, with her riffle propped on the edge of the railing, which gives her a line of sight into the upper window of the main building. She can see four men in the main room, and she's close enough to be able to lip read them through her scope, but they're not speaking English, so she has no idea what they're saying.

She doesn't like this plan. She has a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. She just doesn't know if it's because her husband is going into a dangerous situation or because there is something operationally unsound that hasn't made it to her conscious thought process yet.

"Deeks is on his way in," she hears Callen's voice in her earwig.

"Confirmed," she says through the open line. She watches as one of the men walks out of sight and then several moments later returns with Deeks, as Dale John Sully. He's wearing a casual suit, characteristic of Mr. Sully, disgraced lawyer and wannabe human trafficker.

She exhales again and moves her finger to be beside the trigger, ready to react if the need arises. The team's hope is that Deeks will get Lasik to talk and Sam will be able to record the conversation without being discovered. But they all know the plan could go wrong in a moment, which is why both she and Callen are ready to become involved if needed.

She watches Deeks hold out his hands as he is patted down. After a brief discussion, he had gone in without any weapons.

Once he has been cleared, Lasik approaches him.

They begin to speak. She is able to lip read a few words now that the words being spoken are in English, but Lasik's back is mostly to her, so she can't see much, and Deeks is mostly just agreeing with Lasik, so there's not much for her to ascertain from him.

Lasik waves his hands a few times, clearly agitated, but not threatening. His hands are clear of any weapons and he's not moving towards Deeks. The other three men are also keeping their distance. Kensi is still unhappy with the situation, but not alarmed.

She's actually a little impressed. She's always known her husband must be good at his job, but this is the first time she's truly been able to see him in his element. His expression is a careful mask of Dale John Sully's aloof interest in making some money and not much else. She knows if she didn't know better, she would believe him to be a bad guy.

Deeks begins speaking more, making his move. Kensi catches words like 'safe houses' and 'pay offs.' She knows Deeks is making the business proposition to Lasik. The plan is for him to point out he did all the work with Emilio Ortega and can take over as the LA contact, saving Lasik from starting over and wasting the money he's already invested.

And he's good. He's calm. He's focused on Lasik and not the three guys shuffling around the two of them. He uses minimal gestures with his hands, motioning between them to recognize a partnership only. It's effective.

Lasik steps towards him and says something as he half circles him.

Kensi frowns as she tries to catch his words, but they're lost in a bad angle.

Deeks stays calm as Lasik steps closer, his body loose, telling the man he just needs a chance to prove himself.

Lasik leans in, his face now in Kensi's view.

And the words he says to Deeks cause Kensi's blood to run cold.

Because he calls her husband by name.

The look on Deeks's face confirms Kensi didn't misread Lasik. His cover has been blown and he never stood a chance.

"Lasik just burned Deeks," Kensi announces to the team. "Callen, you need to get in there now."

"On my way."

"What's going on, Kensi?" Hetty's voice comes through the comm.

"Lasik just called him Detective Deeks," she answers. "He knew who he was the moment he stepped foot in there." She swallows hard as she watches her husband turn slightly, his face turning up and towards the window. To those in the room, he would appear to be gazing out at what might very well be his last glimpse of sunlight.

But she knows better. He's looking to her.

 _I'm here_ , she thinks, hoping he can somehow sense her.

Two of the men raise their weapons.

"Callen." She demands.

"Less than a minute."

"I'm moving in," Sam announces. "Kensi, let me make use of the surprise. Then take down who you can."

"Okay." She moves her finger to the trigger.

Before Sam can do anything, though, Lasik and one of his goons drag Deeks to the edge of Kensi's focal point and press him up against a column. Kensi swears and realigns her shot.

She swears again when the goon takes a couple punches at Deeks. He takes a hit to the face and then several to the abdomen.

He doesn't fight back.

She knows it's to prevent the guys with the guns from using their guns, but it doesn't make her feel any better.

"Sam?" She questions.

"I can't surprise them at the side where they are," he whispers back. "It's a bigger risk to Deeks. The beams don't provide enough cover. Let's wait for G. But you let me know if they're making any move to take him out and I'll move in anyway."

"Confirmed," she says back, acknowledging Sam even if she doesn't like it. Hell, she hates it, but she trusts Sam's judgment. If the odds are too high Deeks will be shot or killed in Sam trying to get to him, better let the situation play out for another minute until Callen shows up as the distraction.

"Not to be the bearer of bad news," Eric says, jumping into the conversation, "but I just broke the encryption on Ortega's cell phone and voicemail. I know how Deeks's cover got burned."

"We don't have time for guessing games, Eric," Sam hissed.

"Multiple calls from Detective Jess Traynor. Including a voicemail message requesting a meeting yesterday morning."

"Deeks's handler was on Ortega's, and with it Lasik's, payroll," Sam summarises. "Deeks never stood a chance."

"Just thought you should know," Eric said.

Kensi can't even respond. Because this new information does not track with what she knows. Jess Traynor had been young, dedicated and driven. She had seen the fire in her eyes first hand. There was no way the other woman was a traitor. No way.

But there will be time for that after she gets her husband out of this mess.

Having finished with the beating for now, Lasik calls off his guy and steps forward. Again, whatever he is saying to Deeks is lost to Kensi in a bad angle.

At one point, he stops talking and sends one of his guys out of the room in a hurry. Kensi knows this is because they have heard Callen arrive. He's pretending to be connected to Lasik's drug dealer and is arriving with what will look to Lasik like a good buying opportunity, but is actually be a kleenex box wrapped in duct tape.

When Lasik returns his attention to Deeks, he holds up his phone like he's showing Deeks a picture. Deeks shakes his head and says something like he's denying something. Then he tips his head forward and spits blood down onto Lasik's shoes.

That makes Kensi feel both better and worse.

Lasik fiddles with his phone and then shows Deeks another picture. And whatever he says to Deeks has him lunging forward. He is quickly subdued by two men and a swift punch to the gut that has Kensi flinching.

While he's doubled over, they drag him to the side and leave him on his knees on the floor. Lasik lines himself up in the middle of the room, facing the far door, back in Kensi's main sight line. She watches with him as Callen walks in with his duct tape wrapped box.

He pretends to ignore Deeks and says a few things to Lasik, pretending to be making a business proposition to sell drugs. When Lasik motions for him to pass the 'drugs' to the man who escorted Callen into the building, Callen turns and steps both back and sideways, guiding the man forward and into Kensi's sightline.

Kensi understands exactly what Callen is doing. She doesn't hesitate to take the shot.

As soon as he goes down, there is chaos, just as they knew there would be. They also knew two of the three of them would be in there unarmed, so both Callen and Deeks need to find weapons in the chaos.

Kensi manages a second shot in the chaos before the bad guys are smart enough to stay out of her sight line, though she doesn't know if she makes contact.

And then, with no idea if her husband or team is safe, she abandons her weapon and runs for the building.

"On my way in," she announces, though she gets no response. She can hear shuffling, shouting and gunfire through the open comm. She knows Callen would have gotten rid of his earwig prior to approaching the building, knowing he could have been closely searched, so only Sam is wearing one.

She makes good time sprinting across the concrete ground of the former power plant, but it still takes her longer to get there than she would like.

She enters through the side door like Sam had, and clears the halls as quickly as she can. It's quiet and still.

The main room is also quiet. There are two bodies, and though her heart thumps against her chest as she approaches each, neither are her husband or her team.

She hears muffled gunfire to the far side of the building, so she heads that direction, visualizing the floor plan in her mind. She can no longer hear anything over her comm, but with the thick concrete walls, she's not surprised.

When she comes to the second doorway, she hears shuffling on the other side. She chastises herself for not taking care to walk softer. She does so now as she approaches the doorway from the side, her handgun raised and ready. She takes a beat and then steps out, gun poised and ready.

The person on the other side of the doorway pretty much mirrors her efforts, and then almost as quickly pulls up his gun so she's not in his line of fire. She does the same.

"Do you think regular couples find themselves in these situations?" He asks.

She rolls her eyes. "Oh, shut up."

Deeks chuckles.

"Where are Callen and Sam?"

"They followed Lasik and his one surviving goon downstairs. I was following, but then I heard someone approaching..."

"I was in a hurry!"

"I wasn't judging."

"You good?"

"I'm good."

She takes in his bloodied face and then nods, letting him have this one. "Okay. Let's finish this."

He leads them to the staircase that leads to the basement level. They can hear footsteps, but nothing more. She doesn't bother with her earwig, knowing it's not going to work.

They make their way down the stairs and then cautiously into an open hallway.

Deeks taps her hip and then motions towards Lasik's body to their left.

And Kensi now knows she can hear two distinct sets of footsteps moving together. Which can only mean her team is safe.

"Callen, Sam," she calls out, announcing her and Deeks as she breathes a sigh of relief that they have all survived today.

"It's clear, Kensi," Sam calls back. And in a moment, he and Callen appear from around the corner. They both nod at the sight of her and Deeks. And the team seems to breathe a sigh of relief together.

"Well, that was interesting," Sam comments.

"Not exactly what we planned, but I guess we got the result we wanted," Callen adds, motioning to Lasik's body. He won't be hurting anyone else ever again.

Deeks uses his jacket sleeve to wipe blood away from his nose and mouth. "Lasik found out Ortega was using his money to pay off a dirty cop."

"We know. Eric broke the encryption on Ortega's phone right after you were made and it was too late," Callen says. "It was Jess Traynor."

Deeks shakes his head. "That's what Lasik said to me, but it doesn't make sense. Jess wasn't... She wouldn't do that."

"I know you trusted her," Sam says. "But there were multiple calls and at least one message."

Deeks runs a hand through his hair. "There's got to be more to this."

00

An hour later, the scene is swarming with crime scene techs and additional NCIS agents. Hetty managed to keep news of the scene firmly away from LAPD in light of the knowledge of a dirty cop's involvement.

After leaving her husband being checked out by paramedics, Kensi heads back across the power plant's courtyard at a slower pace this time to retrieve her riffle from its perch. She slings it over her shoulder and across her back and then makes the trek back to the parking area.

Deeks is sitting on the back of the ambulance, but this time Callen and Sam are with him. He shoots her a look of warning as she approaches and she knows something is up.

"What's going on?" She asks to announce her presence.

"We're just trying to determine if Deeks's was compromised by his feelings for his handler or not," Sam says, standing tall, arms crossed over his chest.

Callen is not making a show physically, but he's scowling and uncomfortable. He's holding an evidence bag with a cell phone.

Deeks is clearly refusing to be intimidated. He's sitting on the back step of the ambulance, leaning back. He's refusing to jump up and become defensive.

"Just to be clear," Deeks says evenly. "Are you accusing me of being compromised or being part of this?"

Kensi exhales in shock. "You can't be serious." She looks to Callen and Sam. "What the hell is going on?"

"Show her," Sam says.

Callen raises the evidence bag with the phone. "Lasik had pictures of Jess Traynor and Deeks at the same house. According to Deeks, it's Traynor's house."

With both Sam and Callen's attention on the phone, Kensi exchanges a glance with her husband. He meets her eyes and tells her everything she needs to know with one look. The pictures were taken the night Jess Traynor called Kensi to her house after Dom died.

The night Kensi was gifted with a couple hours of the comfort of her husband's company.

Which was now being used against him.

The picture of Deeks leaving Traynor's house confirm everything. She even recognizes the clothes he was wearing that night.

"I don't think I follow," she says carefully. "What does this prove?"

"Why was he there?" Sam says.

"She was my handler," Deeks says. "I trusted her. I _still_ trust her."

"Were you sleeping with her?"

"No. But she was a good friend."

It's clear Sam doesn't believe him. "You should never have been at her house during a case."

"Maybe not. But there were extenuating circumstances."

"Which were?"

"None of your business."

"Deeks, if you want our help-"

"I'm grateful for the help today, I really am," Deeks cuts him off. "We took a really bad guy off the streets, and that was all I wanted. And now I need to clear Jess's name. Because she is _not_ the bad guy. And if you'll help me again, great. If not, I'll do it myself."

Sam continues to glare at him, but from Callen he earns a glimmer of respect.

"She lost her cousin to human trafficking when she was a kid. She was nearly a victim herself. She dedicated her life to stopping as many of these people as she can. There's no way she was selling information. And from the reports you got from the LAPD, she passed on every piece of information I gave her."

"So, she wasn't stopping anything," Callen summarizes.

"Not a thing."

"Eric confirmed it was her number calling Ortega. Her voice leaving the message. How do you account for that?" Callen asks, not challenging, but demanding an explanation.

"There's been setbacks in the operation. Some of the information Ortega's given me hasn't been good. In light of what I know now, he probably knew for a while that I was a cop. But if she was on to that before me, she wouldn't have reported it up the chain of command because she wouldn't have wanted the operation shut down and me pulled out. She would have tried to find out who was selling information first."

"So, you think she incidentally set herself up to look suspicious?"

"Yes."

Callen sighs and exchanges a look with his partner. Sam looks like he needs more convincing.

Kensi meets Deeks's eyes and can practically feel his exhaustion. He needs this to be over as much as she does.

"It doesn't hurt to look into it," she announces before Callen and Sam can make a decision.

Callen looks at her in surprise.

"We may not have known Detective Traynor, but if what Deeks is saying is true, someone needs to look into this. I know if I was in this situation and one of you were accused of being a traitor I wouldn't stop before getting answers."

Callen considers her words for a moment before nodding. "Okay, let's get Eric on it."

00

By the late afternoon, they have a name.

Detective Frank Scarli.

At first glance, he is just the detective assigned to investigate Jess Traynor's death by car bomb. But at deeper look, courtesy of Eric, he has an off shore account not quite hidden well enough with a few recent deposits.

They set up one more operation for the day, to have him incriminate himself. Deeks calls him, asking to meet to discuss Jess Traynor's case. He acts like he believes Jess is guilty and doesn't know what to say. Scarli suggests a parking lot and Deeks goes along with it.

Once the operation is ready to go, Deeks steps away to call Bates and let his boss in on what's going on.

Kensi stays with the rest of the team, but keeps an eye on her husband. His body in hunched and his tone flat as he confirms that, yes, he is alive, but no, Jess Traynor was not the traitor. She knows he's exhausted and in more pain than he's admitting to simply because he doesn't make a production of calling his boss to announce he's alive. A situation like this almost always calls for humour in the book of Marty Deeks.

"Bates is on board," Deeks says as he rejoins the team. "He's good with NCIS running point, but as soon as Scarli incriminates himself, it becomes an LAPD matter."

Callen nods. "Agreed."

Callen and Sam head up to OPs to meet briefly with Eric, to run the tech through the coming events.

Kensi feels her brow furrow as she takes in her husband's appearance.

"Don't say it," he says quietly.

"You don't know what I was going to say."

He tries to offer her a smile, and though it falls flat, she sees humour and affection in his eyes. "I know you as well as you know me," he tells her.

"Yeah? So, what was I going to say?"

"Probably something about the fact that I look like crap. I'm injured. Probably have some cracked ribs. Maybe a concussion. Look exhausted. Probably shouldn't be doing this."

She purses her lips and then shrugs. "Yeah, probably something along those lines. But you do look like crap, so all of those things are kind of a given."

He actually laughs at her words.

She smiles, proud of herself for making him laugh despite the awful day.

"I look that bad?"

She nods. "Little bit."

He sighs. "Well, when I look better, I'll read your mind again."

"I look forward to it."

"But for now, I need to do this."

"I know. That's why I wasn't going to say anything to stop it."

"You're amazing. Do you know that?"

"I try." She smiles softly. "And Marty? There's one more thing I'm thinking..."

He stares at her for a moment before matching her smile. "That you love me?"

"That I love you," she confirms.

"I love you, too."

00

Deeks drives out to the parking lot with the team close enough behind to move in easily, but not so close for Scarli to notice.

They have the car wired and listen as Deeks parks and then Scarli gets into the passenger seat.

"I'm glad you made it, kid," Scarli tells him.

"Yeah, well, I almost didn't," Deeks says in response.

There is a pause and then Deeks speaks again. "So, what do I do?"

"About what?" Scarli asks.

"About Traynor? What do I tell Internal Affairs?"

"Truth can't hurt, Deeks. She's dead."

There's another pause before Deeks says, "I trusted her."

"We all trusted her," Scarli says.

Kensi exchanges a look with Callen and Sam as they stand around the corner of the car.

"He's good," Callen says. "Turned it right around on Scarli there. If he's guilty, he's already done."

"He is good," Sam echoes.

Kensi nods her agreement.

"She told me this story one time," Deeks continues. "About her and her cousin, Christina. When they were kids, they were walking home one night and a van pulled up. Two guys jumped out and tried to abduct them. Traynor got away. But her cousin, she, uh...wasn't so lucky. They found her body down in Mexico eighteen months later. Human traffickers. So, I keep asking myself, you know, with a history like that, how could she be in business with a scumbag like Emilio Ortega?" He pauses. "And that's when I realized; she wasn't. She was just trying to figure out who was." He pauses again. "So, while I was busy out there undercover, she was trying to win Ortega's trust so he would tell her who he was really paying off."

"Let's move," Callen says and they shuffle forward silently, moving to surround the car.

"That would be you," Deeks accuses.

"If Lasik hadn't killed them, I would have," Scarli says. "I'm sorry, Deeks."

Kensi circles around the car. Deeks is sitting in the drivers' seat. Scarli is in the passenger seat, his attention focused solely on Deeks. He's also pointing a gun at Deeks, but she's not too concerned because she knows the moment he sees them that he'll surrender his weapon.

"No, you're not," Deeks practically whispers.

"Lower your weapon," Sam says at the passenger window, catching Scarli by surprise.

Deeks makes a quick move, securing Scarli's weapon right out of his hand.

Kensi lowers her own weapon as Deeks steps out of the drivers' side door and Sam practically drags Scarli out of the passenger side door.

"Did you get all that?" Deeks asks.

"Every word," Callen confirms.

"So, tell me, Deeks," Scarli calls as Sam puts him into handcuffs, "How does it feel to turn on your own people?"

"That's rich, coming from you," Deeks calls back.

"You burn so many bridges at the LAPD that now you have to bring in the feds? What kind of cop are you?"

"A better cop than you," he says flatly.

"Tell that to Traynor. She thought you had her back and look where that got her."

"Hey!" Deeks calls, striding forward.

Scarli scoffs. "She got everything she deserved."

Kensi watches in shock as Deeks pulls his gun and presses it to Scarli's chest.

"What did you say?" He demands. "You want to say that again?"

"Deeks," Callen warns, but Deeks doesn't respond.

"Say it again." He demands again, his gun still pressed against Scarli's chest. The traitorous cop is now silent.

"He's not worth it," Callen tries.

Still, Deeks doesn't respond.

"Say it again!" He practically shouts.

Kensi steps forward and lays a hand on her husband's arm. "Put it down," she says softly.

He releases a shuddery breath and then does as she requested. He disarms his weapon and returns it to his waistband. He steps back, practically staggering under the weight of his emotions.

"You saw that," Scarli says to Callen and Sam. "You all saw that."

"I didn't see a thing," Callen says immediately. "You see anything, Sam?"

"Not a thing," Sam responds.

Kensi wants to thank them for having Deeks's back, but she's too concerned with his current state of mind to give them too much thought at the moment.

After giving himself some distance from Scarli, he turns in a circle, looking more than a little lost that there are no more wars to fight today.

"I need...I just need a minute," he manages to say with a relatively even tone, before heading around the corner of the closest building.

Kensi bites her lips as she watches him go, debating whether to follow. Callen and Sam have Scarli well in hand, waiting for the LAPD, who are now on their way. She knows there is little time for Deeks to pull his head together.

"I'll be back," she says, not waiting for a response before following after her husband.

She finds him just a few feet around the corner of the building, just far enough away to be out of view of the parking lot. He's crouched down with his back to the wall, staring off with an unfocused gaze. She doesn't hesitate to crouch down beside him.

"I'm here," she says quietly.

"I know," he whispers back.

After a moment, he carefully reaches for her hand. She smiles as he threads their fingers together and allows him to tug her hand towards his chest.

"I didn't mean to overreact like that."

"It's okay."

"It's just...Jess was..."

"She was a friend. I get it."

"It's not just that." He sighs. "She was young, had her whole life ahead of her. Could have done anything, but chose to do this. Was fighting this fight because of her cousin. She was so driven..." He turns to meet her eyes. "She reminded me of you," he whispers softly.

"Oh, Marty."

He sniffs. "That someone could end her life so easily. And that Scarli could care so little." His chest heaves.

She shifts so she's kneeling beside him and grabs his face in her hands. "It wasn't me, Marty. I'm still here. The difference is that I have you."

"You do have me," he whispers. "Even if I'm a mess right now."

She leans in to kiss him, hard and deep. "You are allowed to be a mess right now. But you're my mess, you hear me?"

He huffs out a laughing breath but nods. "I'm okay with that."

"Good. Cause I wasn't taking no for an answer. Now, LAPD is on the way to pick up Scarli. Bates will be with them. You'll need to make a statement. And Bates will expect some kind of ghost joke, I'm sure." She pauses when he smiles at her. "And then we're going home. Because I really missed my husband and I haven't slept beside him in months. How does that sound?"

"Really, really good."

She kisses him again. "And you know what's even better?"

"What?"

"You're home."

He nods. "Almost."

"No, I mean, you're home. No more long term assignments. No more being separated for months at a time."

He clearly hasn't given this recent thought since his operation went upside down and sideways the previous evening. He swallows hard as he stares into her eyes and then puffs out his cheeks as he exhales.

And then he smiles softly. "I'm home."

* * *

 _ **AN: I find that my perspective sometimes changes when I spend so much time analyzing episodes for this story now. I know there has been debate as to whether Deeks and Traynor were together (in the show). At the end of the episode, Scarli asks Deeks "How was she in bed?" about Traynor. He would NOT have known about what has already happened with Deeks earlier that day/him being shown the pictures. Scarli was selling information to Ortega. Lasik found out Ortega was buying information from someone and had him followed, which led to the pictures. So, if Ortega didn't know about the surveillance/pictures, he couldn't have told Scarli. And Lasik thought the dirty cop was Traynor. That means the bad guys didn't lead Scarli to believe Deeks and Traynor were sleeping together... right? (I may have confused myself more by trying to make sense of this...). Anyway, this is why I had to change the last scene with Scarli, because in this universe, there was no reason for him to ask that particular question.**_


	27. Chapter 27

_AN:_ _If you're keeping track of the timeline, I've scaled back the timeframe just a tad from where we would be in the show - so we're immediately post-Human Traffic, which would be September 2010 in the show, but is late July 2010 here (for reasons that will become apparent). I have been careful with the timeframe leading up to this so it should make sense._

* * *

Kensi wakes before the alarm.

And for the first time in so long, she doesn't wake alone.

After the previous day and all the stress it came with - from being told her husband was missing and maybe dead, to a firefight with an international human trafficker, to outing a dirty cop - she had wondered if one or both of them would have nightmares in the night. But the exhaustion had been so great neither had so much as moved during their sleep. His arms are still secure around her and his chest is still pressed to her back, just like when they had fallen into bed together the night before.

She moves her hand to grip his where it lays against her middle and closes her eyes, allowing herself to revel in the feeling of being back in his arms. This is where she feels both the safest and the strongest. She doesn't think she ever really took it for granted, but after yesterday, she knows now that she never will. Because there were moments when she truly believed she would never get to experience this again.

But he's here. He's warm and solid and familiar against her. His warm exhales are rustling her hair and she can feel his chest moving against her back.

He's home.

And he's home for good.

No more deep cover assignment. No more weeks and months apart with little to no contact. No more leaving on such short notice. They may not be working nine to five jobs or forty hour work weeks, but when they're home, they'll be home together.

The LAPD had quickly taken Frank Scarli into custody the previous day. Bates had been there before the disgraced detective had been taken off the scene. He had taken a brief statement from Deeks, before sending him home. Kensi knew her husband would still have to give a full statement on both the original assignment and then everything that happened after the car bomb. The LAPD was good about giving him a day to rest before bringing him in for a full debrief, so she was pretty sure he wouldn't have to go in until tomorrow.

And she knows that's something he can handle. It's something they can both can handle. Especially now that this is the first morning where there is no fear of him being sent back undercover at a moment's notice. They are no longer living their life together on a temporary clock.

Even in the last year, where their life had begun to show some wear, she hadn't realized just how much of an impact it had had on them until this moment. Because she feels such a sense of relief that she feels like she could both sing and cry and laugh at the same time. But mostly she just wants to curl closer to him and never leave.

With a content sigh, she half turns in his arms. He shifts to accommodate her, but doesn't wake. His hair is messy and his face tilted down and half buried in the pillow. The scrapes from the explosion are scabbed and healing already and the redness is much better. He's bruised from the beating he took in the decommission power plant, but she had made sure he was icing the night before, so it's not nearly as bad as it could be. Soon, he'll look like his normal self. She smiles softly before lifting her head to press a kiss to his shoulder. "Sleep, Marty," she whispers.

She allows herself another moment to savour the morning - the first of this new part of their life together - before she carefully extracts herself from his arms and the bed. She turns off the alarm so it won't disturb him and then slips into the bathroom for a shower. She may have no choice but to go into work today, but he has the day off.

When she returns to the bedroom, he still hasn't moved. She drops her towel, smirking to herself that he would be beside himself if he knew he was missing the show. But he sleeps right through.

Once she's dressed for work, she makes her way into the kitchen. Monty's empty bowls are sitting on the floor and she makes a mental note that she needs to call her mom and make arrangements to pick up the dog. She smiles at the realization that no longer will Monty have to go and live with 'grandma' during the week while her husband is away.

Because he won't be away anymore.

She tosses some bread into the toaster for breakfast. She doesn't bother putting any in for her husband, knowing from experience that he almost always sleeps through her morning the day after he comes off an undercover assignment.

As expected, she slathers peanut butter on her toast, eats and washes her plate without any movement from the bedroom.

When she's finished, she fills a glass of water and retrieves a bottle of ibuprofen from the cupboard. She makes her way back down the hall to the bedroom.

Deeks has shifted so he's laying on his back, but is still fast asleep.

She sets the glass down on his bedside table and then reaches her hand out to rest high on his chest, far out of range of the bruises.

"Marty," she whispers.

He doesn't move and his eyes remain closed, but he mumbles something incoherent.

She smiles softly and tries again.

"Marty," she says, this time a little louder.

He smacks his lips and shifts a little, becoming conscious of his limbs.

She pats his chest, letting him know she's there.

"Kens?" He whispers, eyes still closed.

She reaches her hand to run through his sleep-messy hair. "Hey, there, sleepy head."

His hand reaches to the side of the bed where she had been less than an hour earlier. He pats the empty space twice. "Why aren't you here?"

She laughs and then ducks her head to press a kiss to his cheek. "Because some of us have to go to work today."

He opens his eyes and blinks up at her. "Morning already?"

"Unfortunately."

He groans and closes his eyes. For a moment she thinks he's fallen back to sleep, but then he opens them again, looking much more awake. "Did you sleep okay?"

"I slept great," she tells him. "You?"

He nods. "Same."

She smiles softly at him. "I'm really glad you're home, Marty."

"I'm really glad I'm home, too." He blinks heavily, but opens his eyes again, clearly determine to stay awake with her.

She ruffles her fingers through his hair again. "I'll let you get back to sleep. But first, take these." She passes the bottle of ibuprofen into his hands and retrieves the glass of water from the nightstand.

"Thanks," he says as he opens the bottle and shakes a pair of pills onto his palm.

She trades the bottle for the glass and watches as he tosses the pills into his mouth and then takes several gulps of water.

"Sore?" She questions.

He nods as he passes her back the glass. "Yeah. But not as bad as I could be."

She frowns and leans closer, running her hand high on his chest where she knows he isn't bruised. Lasik's guys had stayed around his abdomen and lower ribs when they had been punching him. "We were always going to get you out, Marty."

He sits up with only a slight grimace. "Not what I meant," he says before tugging her close and kissing her. "I just thought I'd be more sore after yesterday, that's all." He kisses her again. "Must be the magical healing powers of sleeping next to my wife."

She rolls her eyes, but smiles nonetheless.

"That, or, the fact that you barely let me away from an icepack for five minutes last night."

She rolls her eyes again. "Did it not help?"

He smirks. "I'm still going with the first reason."

She smiles back at him as she resists the urge to roll her eyes for a third time. "I'm glad you're feeling okay."

He nods and stares at her for a long moment before nodding again. "I'm really glad I'm home."

"Really home," she whispers.

"Really home," he echoes softly, causing her heart to swell.

"I wish I could stay home with you today."

"Me too." He kisses her again. "But you go and save the world. I'll be here when you get home."

She hooks her arm around his neck and hugs him carefully, mindful of his injuries. "I love you, you know."

"I know," he confirms as he hugs her back. "And I love you, too."

She pulls away from the hug and kisses him again before standing. "I'll see you tonight."

"I'll be here."

00

When Kensi gets to work, Callen and Sam are in the gym. She drops her bag beside her chair and sits, taking a moment to enjoy the quiet, before delving into her paperwork from the day before.

After about fifteen minutes, she senses someone watching her. She looks up to find Hetty standing directly in front of her desk. Having become used to the operation manager's propensity for sneaking up on her over the years, she manages to mostly quell her startle reaction.

"Morning, Hetty."

"Good morning." Hetty nods. "How are you this morning?"

"I'm good, Hetty."

"And how is Mr. Deeks after the events of the past couple days?"

"He's okay. A little sore and a little tired."

"But in one piece," Hetty finishes.

Kensi smiles. "Exactly."

"I'm glad he's home."

"Me, too."

Hetty smiles and then walks away. Kensi turns back to her paperwork.

Within ten minutes, she sense someone watching her again. She looks up and then passes her gaze around the office area until her eyes land on Nate. He's standing near the lockers, staring thoughtfully at her.

She narrows her eyes and sits back in her chair, making it clear to the psychologist that she sees him.

Nate leans back just a touch before stepping forward without hesitation. He wanders around the back of the desks and sits beside her in Callen's chair.

"What's up, Nate?"

"I just wanted to see how you were doing after yesterday."

"After yesterday?"

"It was a tough day."

"You mean the part where my husband was missing and maybe dead? Or the part where his handler was killed? Or the part where I had to watch him go back undercover right after getting him back only to watch his cover get burned? Or the part where we found out all the bad things happened because of a dirty cop?"

Nate stares at her for a moment before surprising her when he adds, "Or how about the part where the whole time your team couldn't support you because they don't know who Deeks is to you?"

Kensi sighs. "Yeah, that sucked, too."

"Have you considered telling them?"

She nods. "Yesterday I couldn't care less if they knew. Hetty said it was better that they didn't know so they could be objective. Which I guess makes sense."

"And before that?"

"I kept it from them, and you, because of Hetty for a long time. And then I wanted to tell Dom. And it was nice that he knew. But then he..." She trails off. "He died."

Nate nods in understanding. "You know telling him had nothing to do with losing him."

"I know." She sighs and runs her hand through her hair. "It's hard to explain. Hetty gave me permission to share. But once they know, I can't take it back. Part of me wants Callen and Sam to know and part of me isn't ready. When Marty was just my husband, it was one thing to want to tell them. But he's going to be working with us on cases. If we tell Callen and Sam at the wrong time, it could affect Marty's ability to be part of the team or earn their respect. You know he's already had issues with Sam."

Nate nods.

"I want to tell them; just at the right time."

"That makes sense." Nate considers her for a moment before adding, "Just don't let it isolate you from your team."

She smiles and shakes her head. "I won't. I'm looking forward to the day when I'm not keeping this secret anymore. I'm tired of playing the single commitment phobic girl."

Before Nate can say anything more, Callen and Sam return from the gym.

"Morning Kensi," Sam greets.

"Morning."

"Morning," Callen echoes as he waits for Nate to remove himself from Callen's chair. He doesn't ask or even pretend to be interested in whatever it was they were talking about. "No case yet?"

Kensi shakes her head.

"After yesterday, we deserve a quiet day," Sam says. "And we're still down a fourth."

Callen nods. "Hopefully now we'll see Deeks again soon."

Kensi bites back a smile at how easily the team expects her husband back working with the team now that he's home.

00

 _"Who's the new girl?"_

 _"Kensi, this is Agent Mike Renko," Sam introduced. "Renko, this is Agent Kensi Blye."_

 _"Nice to meet you," Kensi said, shaking the other agent's hand._

 _"You, too."_

 _"Kensi joined our team a few months ago," Sam explained. "Renko works a lot of long term assignment. Also, helps out our team and other teams when needed when he's between assignments."_

 _"Unfortunately, that means we see a lot of him," Callen added._

 _Renko clutched to his chest. "That hurts, Callen."_

 _Callen laughed._

 _"What happened to...what was his name... Stein?"_

 _"Stern," Sam corrected. "Washed out."_

 _Kensi felt herself frown._

 _"Don't worry," Renko said quickly. "If you're still here, it means you're doing something right."_

 _Callen nodded. "Renko's right. Those who wash out do so quickly."_

 _"Now we just need to find a fourth," Sam said._

00

The work day is uneventful, and when Kensi gets home, the sight of her husband fast asleep on the couch is not unexpected.

The fact that the kitchen has been stocked with groceries and there are shopping bags from several stores on the floor of the living room is unexpected. Normally when he comes off an assignment, Deeks isn't up to much of anything on day one.

She slips off her shoes and pads quietly up to the couch. He doesn't stir. She kneels down and reaches to brush her fingers through his hair.

He groans and his eyes open. "I'm awake," he mumbles.

"Clearly."

He huffs and then groans again as he sits up and then leans heavily against the back of the couch.

Kensi allows herself to be tugged down beside him, right where she wants to be right now.

Deeks hooks his arm around her and sighs happily. "I'm glad you're home."

"Me, too. I see you had a productive day."

"Mmm, I got groceries. And went shopping. And went to the precinct."

"Why did you do so much? You're usually so tired..."

He yawns, as if to support her point, causing them both to laugh.

"Well, I got groceries because we needed food."

She makes a face, but bites back the urge to make a retort.

"And I went shopping because I needed to get you a present for tomorrow."

Kensi feels her heart clench at his thoughtfulness and turns her face into his shoulder. "You didn't have to do that."

He scoffs. "It's your birthday. What kind of husband would I be if I didn't have a present for you?"

"First of all, you just got home, so you totally get a pass. And second..." Her voice cracks and she swallows hard. "And second," She repeats with a slight wobble to her voice, "The fact that you are alive and home and here with me is all I could need or want."

He wraps his arms tight around her and hugs her close. "I always want to be here with you, Kens. I'm so sorry I scared you."

She hugs him back just as tight. "It's not your fault. It's just..."

"Fresh?" He supplies when her words fail her.

She nods against him.

He runs his hand up and down her spine, soothing her. "I can't do anything other than assure you that this is exactly where I want to be." He trembles slightly against her and his hand stills on her back. "When the car exploded, it knocked me down. I didn't understand what had happened right away. And I sat up, staring at the burning car...and I realized what happened and how close I come...to being in that car..." He trails off and pulls back just far enough to meet her eyes. "In that moment, you were the only thing I was thinking about. I didn't care about my cover or my assignment. I just wanted to see you, to hold you."

"Marty," she practically breathes his name.

He leans forward and presses his forehead to hers.

"You're here now," she tells him. "With me and holding me."

He nods gently without removing his forehead from hers. "Just what I wanted."

"It's what I wanted, too," she tells him. "It's what I _want_. All I want."

He pulls back and then ducks in to press his lips to her forehead and then her lips. "I'm still giving you a birthday present."

She actually laughs; half at his words and half because she's impressed at his ability to find some humour in this deeply emotional conversation. "If you insist..."

He doesn't quite laugh, but he smiles at her and his eyes are clearer than before. "We'll do something special when you get home from work tomorrow. I don't think I'll be quite up for our hike, though. Are you okay if we do that on the weekend?"

"We don't need to-"

"Yes, we do," he cuts her off. He stands and strides across the room to lift a picture frame off the bookcase. He returns and sets it into her hands. "It's our tradition."

Kensi takes the frame and smiles at the familiar picture. He'd taken her hiking for her nineteenth birthday. They'd stopped to eat their packed lunch at a high lookout point. Another couple had hiked by, and Deeks had stopped them and asked them to take a picture of Kensi and him with the camera he had brought. They're standing next to each other by the edge of the lookout, arms around each other, smiling at the camera. The view behind them is stunning.

She runs her fingers over their younger selves' faces. They appear young and in love. But also so happy and hopeful. Neither had had good childhoods. And both had reason to be hesitant. But they had found something in each other to make their walls drop.

She drags her eyes away from the nine year old picture and meets the eyes of her husband of nearly eight years. "If you're up for it, I'd love to go hiking this weekend. We should recreate this picture."

He frowns slightly. "But I love that picture."

She leans in to kiss him quickly. "Me, too. I don't want to replace it. I want another one to sit beside it; of who we are now."

"I like that idea."

"I'm glad." She leans into him. "So, what are we doing tomorrow?"

He presses a kiss to the side of her head. "It's a surprise."

She huffs. "I don't like surprises."

"I know you don't. But I also know you trust me."

She grumbles, but nods. "Can I guess?"

He presses a second kiss to the side of her head. "Nope."

She huffs again. "Fine. What do you want to do tonight?"

"How about we-"

"Crap!" Kensi exclaims, cutting off her husband as she remembers what she's supposed to be doing tonight.

"Or we can do that..." He says lightly, turning his head to meet her eyes, one eyebrow raised in question.

"I'm supposed to have dinner at my mom's tonight," she explains. "And stay overnight, because she didn't want me waking up alone on my birthday." She sighs. "I totally forgot."

"Well, you've had a bit of a reason to be distracted the last couple days," he offers.

"I'll call her and cancel," she says, digging her hand into her pocket for her phone.

"Or we can go over for dinner," he offers. They both know Julia would love to have him over along with Kensi if she knew he was home.

"You sure?"

He nods. "It's good for you to see her. And she'll want to see you around your birthday. And we need to get Monty anyway."

"Okay."

00

They take her car to her mother's house. He drives, pointing out she had gotten to drive his car the day before. She has quite a few arguments, like the fact that he had been injured, but she bites her tongue and lets him have this one.

They stop on the way to pick up a bottle of wine, and still arrive a few minutes early.

After getting out of the car, they stare up at the house, which has become familiar over the last few years. "What do you think, dream house material?" Deeks jokes.

Kensi laughs as she bumps his hip. "A little big for a starter house, don't you think?"

"I guess we can finally move forward on that now."

"I guess we can." She feels another wave of relief wash over her. Because her husband is _home_. And they get to buy their house like they had planned.

They reach the front door and knock, but open the door without waiting for an answer.

"Mom!" Kensi calls. "We're here."

No answer.

"Must be out back."

They slip through the house, leaving the wine in the kitchen, to the back door.

Her mother is sitting on the back patio with a friend. Monty is curled on one of the patio loungers beside the ladies, basking in the sunlight.

The dog may be retired from any official police work, but he reacts to the noise of their arrival by jumping off the chair on alert. And the moment he recognizes them, he starts running.

Kensi laughs as the dog runs past her and practically jumps onto her husband, who he hasn't seen in months.

"Hi, buddy," Deeks says. "Yes, I missed you, too. Yes, I did. More than Kensi."

She swipes at him for the last comment, but can't help but continue to smile as Monty wiggles and wags his ways around Deeks, who is quickly forced to kneel down by the overly excited canine. It's not an unfamiliar sight when Deeks is newly home from assignment.

Julia and her friend have stood and are slowly making their way over from the patio. Kensi moves to meet them half way.

"Hi, mom," she says, hugging her.

"Hi, honey," Julia says, hugging her daughter tight. She pulls back and then shakes her head as she smiles at the sight of Deeks and Monty. "That dog has barely moved all afternoon."

Kensi laughs.

"Kensi, this is my friend, Eileen. Eileen, this is my daughter, Kensi. And once Monty releases him, that's my son-in-law, Marty."

"Hi. Nice to meet you," Kensi says, shaking Eileen's hand.

"Nice to meet you, Kensi. Your mother has told me lots of wonderful things about you."

Kensi glances quickly at her occupied husband, wishing her was beside her in this moment. It always makes her uncomfortable to find herself in these situations and his presence always makes her feel better. "That's nice," she says, forcing a smile to her face.

Eileen smiles back, clearly not noticing her discomfort. "She says you work for a law firm?"

Kensi nods.

"That sounds interesting. What do you do?"

"Administrative and investigative work. Background for cases." She answers the questions easily, her response well practiced.

"Any interesting ones?"

"Unfortunately, I'm not allowed to talk about it. Confidentially clauses and whatnot."

Eileen nods. "Of course." She looks like she wants to ask more, but Monty runs over, bumping into Kensi's legs and interrupting the conversation.

"Oh, now I get attention," Kensi says to the dog, bending to pet him.

"Give it up, Kens. You know I'm his favourite," Deeks jokes as he comes to stand beside her.

She rolls her eyes and elbows him gently when she stands back upright.

He laughs.

Julia laughs as well, before introducing him. "Marty, this is my friend, Eileen. Eileen, this is my son-in-law, Marty."

"It's nice to meet you, Marty," Eileen says.

"You, too."

"Julia tells me you're a cop?"

"I am."

"Must be exciting."

"Sometimes," Deeks hedges.

"And you just got off an assignment?"

He nods.

"How did it go?"

Deeks exchanges a quick glance with Kensi before turning back to Eileen. "We got the bad guys."

Julia steps in and gently herds her friend back through the house and towards her car, leaving Kensi and Deeks in the backyard.

There's an oversized reclining lounger with its back to the sun, so they curl up together there. Monty jumps up at their feet and forces a space for himself between their legs. He sighs dramatically before coming to rest, like everything is finally right in his world.

"We totally need one of these for our backyard when we buy our house," Deeks says.

"Agreed." She sighs and leans her head onto his shoulder. "Monty agrees, too," she says, looking down at where the dog has chosen her shin as his pillow.

Monty wags his tail at the sound of his name, but makes no other movement.

Deeks yawns and then leans his head against hers.

"How tired are you?"

"Not too bad."

"Marty..."

He chuckles. "Really, Kens. It's not too bad. I'm tired, yes, but I'm happy to be here. And I can sleep in tomorrow while you go to work."

She huffs at him. "Do you have to go in to the precinct?"

"Nope. Got my debrief over with today so I'm free tomorrow."

She's torn between wanting to chastise him for pushing himself so much on his first day back when he was supposed to be resting, and feeling a swell of emotion at how thoughtful he was, because he only pushed himself to be free for her birthday. "I'm excited for whatever it is we're doing tomorrow."

"Me, too."

"Any hints?"

"I'll be there. And you'll be there. And Monty will be there."

Again, Monty wags his tail at the sound of his name.

Kensi laughs and doesn't even bother to chastise her husband for his crappy clue.

"Sorry about that," Julia calls as she steps back out into the backyard. "Eileen is the epitome of a bored housewife who wants to be a screenwriter. Sees all sorts of drama in everyday things. Doesn't know when to stop asking questions."

"No worries," Deeks says.

Julia smiles at the sight of the three of them on the lounger. "Look at you three. Completely adorable."

Kensi feels her cheeks heat and resists the urge to turn her head and bury her face in her husband's shoulder.

"How about we get some drinks while I get dinner started?"

"Sounds good," Kensi says.

Monty groans as Kensi and Deeks extricate themselves from the chair.

"I'm so glad you're home," Julia tells Deeks once he's on his feet. She steps close to pull him into a hug.

"Me, too," Deeks says, hugging his mother-in-law back.

"I didn't miss you quite as much as Kensi and Monty, but I did miss you."

Deeks smiles. "Thank you."

Julia smiles back. "Now, let's get dinner started and have some drinks. I, for one, cannot believe I have a twenty eight year old daughter."

"Not twenty eight yet."

Deeks laughs at her tenacity while her mother shoots her a look that Kensi is quickly learning is a look only a mother can pull off.

"But very, very close, honey. Twenty eight years ago, your dad and I were probably on our way to the hospital right about now. And, let me tell you, I was already ready for you to be out of me. But you were stubborn right from the start. And no amount of labour or pushing was going to hurry you up, Kensi Marie. You were going to come out when you were good and ready."

Kensi allows herself to smile as her mother recounts the memory. Beside her, Deeks laughs quietly. "That's my girl."

00

On the morning of her birthday, Kensi wakes much like the morning before. She's wrapped in her husband's arms. He's fast asleep, which is more than understandable considering all his activities the previous day.

She allows herself a few moments to revel in the feeling of waking beside him again, before pressing a kiss to his shoulder and dragging herself from the bed. She turns off the alarm and moves towards the bathroom to shower.

Monty, who had been asleep at the foot of the bed, sits up and yawns. He meets her eyes and stares imploringly at her.

She glances at her sleeping husband and then back at her begging dog.

"Fine," she whispers. "I'll take you out. But we have to be quick."

Monty wags his tail at the work 'out' and follows her around the bedroom as she pulls on a pair of jeans and a tee shirt. She brushes her teeth with the dog beside her, staring up at her, and then makes her way to the front door with the dog trotting behind her. Once his leash is attached, Monty's tail wagging increases tenfold. He practically bounces beside her as she retrieves her keys and then opens the door. She shuts and locks the door behind them and then lets Monty lead the way down the stairs towards the walking path.

He does his business quickly, but it's a nice morning, so she takes him around the block, not knowing how long her husband will be sleeping today and wanting him to have some exercise this morning.

When she returns to the apartment fifteen minutes later, she's surprised the moment she opens the door. The kitchen light is on and there are amazing smells wafting from that direction.

Monty chuffs and heads for the kitchen the moment she unclips his leash.

She follows closely behind.

She finds her husband at the stove, monitoring a pan of bacon. On the counter is a carton of eggs and a loaf of bread, like he's planning to make much more than just the bacon.

"Morning," she says.

He turns away from the stove and smiles at her. "Happy birthday."

"Thank you."

He ducks his head to kiss her.

"You should have woken me up."

"You need your sleep."

"I can go back to sleep. Right now, I need to make you breakfast."

"Thank you." She hooks a finger into the collar of his shirt and tugs him down to her level to kiss him again. "You are the best husband ever."

"I know," he says simply. "I have the novelty mug to prove it."

She laughs.

He pecks her lips one more time. "Go get ready for work. I'll have breakfast ready when you're ready."

She hurries to shower and dress for work. When she returns to the kitchen, Deeks has laid out bacon, eggs and toast on plates on their kitchen table. He's even stacked two pieces of toast on her plate and stuck a single candle through it.

He smirks at her and holds up a matchbook.

She playfully rolls her eyes. "You're not going to sing, are you?"

He pretends to think about it and then shakes his head. "I'll let you off the hook this morning," he says. But he does light the candle. "Don't forget to make a wish."

She stares into his eyes for a long moment, trying to decide what she could possibly have to wish for.

He smiles back at her, his gaze telling her he understands. They both know after such a close call they'll be a bit clingy for a while.

She takes a breath and then ducks her head and blows out the candle.

He claps. "Blew it out on the first try."

She rolls her eyes. "I'm so talented," she says sarcastically.

He laughs out loud.

She picks the candle out of her toast as he turns back to the counter to retrieve two mugs of coffee.

Kensi laughs when he sets down the mugs. By his plate is his novelty mug - a gift from her - which says 'Best Husband Ever' and by her plate is her novelty mug - a gift from him - which says 'I (heart) my husband.'

He smirks as he sits down.

"You look proud of yourself."

"I thought I should go with a theme."

She smiles warmly at him. "It's a good theme."

00

The work day is moderately more eventful than the previous day, but still rather dull in comparison to what it can be at times. The team wishes her happy birthday when she arrives just minutes before their start time. There are no new cases, but an ongoing lower priority case has some movement that keeps them in the field most of the day chasing down leads.

By the end of the work day, they haven't made much progress on the case, but Kensi is happy that she gets to leave on time.

She's packing up her bag at her desk when Callen and Sam join her.

"So, drinks?" Callen says.

"Uh, not tonight for me, but you guys have fun."

Sam chuckles and then glares at his partner. "That wasn't what I meant by invite her out tonight."

"How was I supposed to know what you meant?"

"It was kind of obvious. And you could have used more than one word."

"Technically, I used two words," Callen retorts.

Kensi smiles and shakes her head at the two partners as she slides her shoulder bag over her head.

Sam huffs and then turns his attention to Kensi. "Birthday drinks, on us."

"On Sam," Callen says immediately.

Sam shoots a glare at his partner. "You're really pushing it today." He turns back to Kensi. "Birthday drinks, on _us_. We're going to invite Eric. And Hetty, even though we all know she'll have some other plans."

"That's really nice, guys. But I can't tonight."

"Come on, Kens. It's your birthday."

"I know it's my birthday. That's why I have plans."

They both perk up at that. She frowns, suddenly realizing how long it's been since she's regaled them with a Kensi-disaster-dating story.

"What kind of plans?" Sam asks.

She glares at him, playing her expected role. "The kind that are none of your business."

"Come on Kensi, you never share anymore."

"Yeah, there's a reason for that."

"We are nothing but supportive and helpful," Callen claims.

She huffs. "You are not the least bit supportive or helpful."

"We're turning over a new leaf."

"I'll bet you are."

He nods. "So, about this date..."

"I never said I had a date."

"We inferred."

"Well, infer all you want. I'm not talking."

"If you leave us to infer on our own, who knows what we may come up with," Callen threatens jokingly, trying to get her to at least give them some hints.

Kensi smirks. "Callen, I promise you, no matter what you infer on your own, there's no way in hell you would ever come up with anything close to the truth."

00

When Kensi gets home, Monty races to the door, excited to see her.

Her husband is not far behind. He appears from the hallway leading to their bedroom. His energy level is not much lower than the dog's.

"Hi," she greets, hugging him, but frowning slightly at his appearance. He's wearing long khaki shorts and socks, with a tee shirt. She buries her nose in the crook of his neck and inhales. He smells like his familiar self and sunscreen. "What are we doing?"

"Hiking."

"I thought you weren't up to hiking yet?"

"I'm not." He releases her and offers her a smile. "Not real hiking. We'll do that this weekend. But I found a place where we can drive and the hike is less than an hour to the lookout. And not too steep. Thought we could walk out, have a picnic, walk back."

Her heart swells in her chest at how thoughtful he's being. "I love it."

He pecks her lips. "Good. Get changed and we'll get on the road. Car's already packed."

She changes and grabs her smaller backpack. She grabs a few minimal supplies and they head for the car.

The drive to the park takes a little under an hour. He tries to insist on carrying all of the food supplies in his backpack, but she manages to convince him to let her take some in hers. With his bruised rib and abdominal area from the beating, she doesn't want him carrying too much weight.

They walk together along the path to the lookout, chatting about her day and her life since he's been on assignment. They talk about happy things; their plan to buy a house and go on vacation now that he's back home. They chat about him coming back to work cases with her team.

"How soon will you work cases with us again?" She asks.

"Bates said to go straight to your office on Monday," Deeks says.

"You don't have to go back to your precinct first?"

"I guess not. They want me pretty much working full time with your team."

"I kind of thought it would be case to case as needed."

"I did, too. I don't know if that changed because of what happened with Scarli or was the case right from the start, but that's what they want."

"I think maybe that was Hetty's plan right from the start," she offers. "She's made absolutely no effort to fill our fourth spot since you've been on assignment."

"Well, you did always say she worked in mysterious ways."

"She does." She reaches for his hand and squeezes. Beside them, Monty trots along happily. "LAPD really just released you? Just like that?"

"I have to send them weekly reports. And I'll meet with Bates the first Tuesday morning of each month, barring a high priority case."

"That makes me feel a little better."

He stops them and hooks an arm around her. "No one's trying to get rid of me, Kens. Bates was beside himself, he was so angry about Scarli and what happened to Jess. Everyone is angry about what happened to Jess," he adds.

She nods, feeling her heart clench at the pain in his eyes, both at the loss of their friend and his handler, and his words to her that day. That Jess Traynor, with her childhood trauma which had shaped her life and driven her into adulthood and a life of crime fighting, had reminded him so much of Kensi.

She reaches up to cup his jaw and direct his gaze to hers. "I'm here," she reminds.

His hand closes on hers. "I know." He smiles softy at her. "I know," he repeats.

"Good."

He clears his throat. "You know, the guys at the precinct gave me a good razzing when I was there. About you."

"Me? What did I do?"

He chuckles. "That you're a fed. They said I married up."

She rolls her eyes. "That is ridiculous."

"So, you're saying you married up?"

She glares at him.

He laughs out loud. "They were just joking around, Kens. It surprised them that you were a fed."

"It doesn't...bother you, right?"

"Of course not." He shakes his head. "Not even a little. I'm proud of you; of how awesome you are."

She smiles, feeling her heart swell at his pride in her. "Thanks."

He pecks her lips and then grabs her hand. "Come on, I think we're almost there."

After another five minutes of walking, they reach the lookout. It's not as spectacular as their usual location, but it's still pretty good. Being a less physically demanding area, there are picnic tables here. There are two other couples and a small family sitting at some of the scattered tables already. They choose a table off to the side and Deeks lays down the small tablecloth he's brought, and then sets out the sandwiches and drinks.

After managing to beg a few bites, Monty curls up beside them on the ground, content to nap until the walk back. They chat about possible vacation venues while they eat.

Once finished, Deeks collects the empty containers and stacks them together. "I have cake at home," he tells her. "I couldn't figure out a way to get it here without it getting very, very destroyed."

She laughs. "Agreed."

"I also have your real present at home, but wanted you to have something to open here, so I brought this." He passes her a small wrapped box.

She takes the box with a smile and playfully hefts it. Then she carefully peels the wrapping paper off, revealing a small cardboard box. She opens the box and pulls out another novelty mug.

And she laughs.

' _Happy wife. Happy life.'_

He smirks at her, proud of himself for his find.

Several sarcastic comments spring to mind, but instead, she smiles and says seriously, "Marty, you must have a really happy life."


	28. Black Widow

_**AN: We're getting back into the 'episodes' of season 2 now. The last chapter may not have felt like it moved the plot forward much, but actually served as a much needed transition for our favourite characters after the emotional stress of the last few chapters and to set up several long term ideas/plots which will play out through season 2 and into season 3.**_

* * *

Episode 2.02 - Black Widow

On Monday morning, Kensi and Deeks drive in tandem into work.

Deeks is happy to be returning to work today, and is even happier to be going to work with his wife. He always appreciates the down time when he comes off an undercover assignment, knowing he needs to recover and rest. But this time, knowing _that_ part of his life is over, he finds he's been more eager than usual to get back to feeling productive. He doesn't regret the last couple years of his life, all the undercover assignments, but he knows without a doubt that he made the right decision to move on.

And that's what he wants to do now. He wants to move on.

He wants to move _forward_.

He knows this opportunity he's been given to work with Kensi and her team is special. And he's never been one to turn down a good opportunity.

Four blocks away from the Mission the specialized NCIS team calls home, Deeks turns off the road and into a coffee shop like planned so he and Kensi don't show up at the same time.

They had talked about when to tell the team about their marriage on the weekend during their hike. This is her team he's joining, so the way Deeks sees it, she gets to be in charge of when they disclose anything to anyone. His wife and his marriage is the single most important thing in his life, and he knows that doesn't change based on who knows about it and when they find out.

But still, he yearns for simple things. Like, he wishes he and Kensi could drive in to work together.

And, when he passes money across the counter to pay for a box of donuts with a bare left hand, he wishes he could wear his wedding band to work.

He gets back into his car with the donuts and finishes the short drive to the Mission.

When he walks in, Callen, Sam and Kensi are already at their desks. He knows from Kensi's update that Nate has been sent on a secret assignment by Hetty, so he's gone for an indefinite amount of time.

Kensi looks up when he walks in and shoots him a quick smile.

Deeks clears his throat, successfully gaining the attention of Callen and Sam.

"Deeks," Callen greets.

"Callen," Deeks says.

"Welcome back."

"Thanks." He lifts the box of donuts. "I, uh, wanted to say thanks...for last week."

Callen's eyes light up at the donuts, just like Kensi had told him they would.

"Any time," he says, taking the box and helping himself to a donut. He then passes the box to Kensi.

Kensi helps herself to a donut. "Thanks...Detective Deeks."

He takes the box from her with a raised eyebrow. "You're welcome, Agent Blye."

She makes a face, but says nothing further.

He turns to Sam, who is sitting back in his chair, surveying him carefully. He doesn't appear unhappy to see Deeks. But he doesn't look happy to see him either.

"Sam," he greets, holding out the box of donuts.

Sam looks slightly appeased by the offer, but makes no move to take a donut. "Do you know what those do to your arteries?"

"Uh...do I want to know?"

This actually gets a very small hint of a smile out of Sam and Deeks feels like maybe he's made progress with the older man for the first time.

"Probably not," Sam answers.

Deeks nods. "Alright. Well, I'm just going to leave these here." He sets them down on the empty fourth desk. He's saddened that Dom's nameplate and personal effects are gone. Then he pauses. "Is it okay if I sit?"

Sam sighs before nodding. "It's your desk now."

00

In the afternoon, Kensi and Deeks are sent out to get a witness statement on a lower priority case which the team has apparently been working on and off for the past several weeks.

Kensi has the keys to the NCIS issued SRX in hand as they head out to the parking lot, and Deeks doesn't even bother to pretend to argue with her over who gets to drive today. He heads for the passenger door and pretends not to notice the small smirk on her face.

"I think today is going okay," he says.

"Yeah, except for one thing," she responds as she steers the car out of the parking area and onto the road.

"What's that?"

She shoots him a playful look. "You seriously need to stop calling me Agent Blye. Everyone at work calls me Kensi."

"I only called you Agent Blye because you keep calling me Detective Deeks," he counters.

"You _are_ Detective Deeks."

"And you _are_ Agent Blye," he argues.

"But everyone calls me Kensi."

"And everyone calls me Deeks."

She runs a hand through her hair. "I can't call you Deeks. It's weird."

"After all these years, now you're telling me you think 'Deeks' is weird?"

"I don't think the name is weird." She takes her eyes off the road to shoot him an exasperated look. "Calling you Deeks is weird."

"Why?"

"Because I'm Deeks, too!" She huffs and runs her hand through her hair again. "Why couldn't they just call you Marty? Everyone else gets called by their first name."

He frowns. "Except for Callen."

"That's only because Callen doesn't have a first name," she says nonchalantly.

Deeks blinks, wondering for a moment if he heard his wife correctly. Considering how casually she said it, she could have been talking about the weather. "I'm sorry, can you say that again?"

She glances at him again. "I forgot you didn't know that. Callen doesn't have a first name; just an initial."

"G," he supplies.

She nods. "He grew up in foster care. Never got to know what it stands for."

"That's...wow." Deeks runs a hand through his hair. "That's shitty."

"Yeah. He's probably the only person I've ever met whose childhood was probably worse than yours."

He reaches across the centre of the car and lays his hand down on her knee, needing the feel some form of contact with her. He smiles softly when she drops her hand from the steering wheel to lay it on top of his.

"We had a case, while you were on assignment," she explains. "Where some information about his past sort of came up. He didn't really learn much of anything. But he learned there's information out there to find."

"That's good. Hope is a powerful thing."

She's silent for a moment before squeezing his hand. "Well, I for one _hope_ you will start calling me Kensi at work."

He sighs at her weak attempt at a joke. But then he laughs, because he loves her so much and how can he not find her adorable when she's acting like this and trying so hard?

"I'm serious, Marty," she announces, though there's a playful edge to her voice.

"Yes, dear."

She scoffs. "They're going to know something's up if you keep calling me Agent Blye."

"Same goes if you keep calling me Detective Deeks."

"You're the new guy," she tells him. "If you come in and call everyone else by what they go by at work, except me, it looks weird."

"You know marriage is about compromise, right? I don't call this compromise." He goads her.

They stop at a red light and she turns her head to glare playfully at him. "You call me Kensi. I will... _try_ to call you Deeks."

He makes a face as he pretends to consider her words. "I'm not sure those are equal..."

"I swear to God, Marty..."

"See, right there. You didn't even try to call me Deeks."

"Yeah, but there are a few other things I could have called you and didn't," she retorts.

He laughs out loud. "Nice."

She smiles in response.

"I will call you Kensi at work."

"And I will...work on calling you Deeks."

He squeezes her knee. "The art of compromise."

00

 _"I feel like we need a new system," Deeks joked as he surveyed what used to be their kitchen table._

 _Kensi laughed and playfully bumped his hip. "It's either the table or the floor."_

 _He slung an arm around her shoulders and made a show of sighing. "Do you really need that many piles of...stuff? We can't even see the table anymore."_

 _"It's all important," she claimed, waving her hand at the various piles of varying heights. "School stuff. Work stuff. Wedding stuff."_

 _"That should be three piles. Not fifty."_

 _"There are so not fifty piles."_

 _"I take back my earlier comment._ We _don't need a new system._ You _need a new system."_

 _She turned her head to shoot him a playful glare._

 _He winced and bit back a laugh._

 _"We could just get rid of the wedding piles," she threatened._

 _He knew she was joking, but followed her when she stepped forward, reaching for a pile of documents._

 _"Now, now. Let's not be hasty."_

 _"No, you're right. Clearly, this isn't a good system. Let's get rid of some things," she said, continuing to threaten him jokingly. "How about the forms and identification we've put together to apply for our marriage license? Clearly these aren't important." She lifts the pile and waves it around._

 _He huffed and took it from her, before setting it back down._

 _She smirked at him. "Or, the name change forms?" She picked up another, smaller, stack and held it up. "So, when I change my name with the government, I can also change it with the school and they'll both actually know who I am before I graduate?" She laughed and her eyes were sparkling, and she was clearly expecting him to make a grab for the forms._

 _Instead, he felt his smile fall away into...awe._

 _"You're...changing your name?"_

 _Her brow furrowed and her body deflated ever so slightly. She clutched the papers in her hands closer to her chest, protective. "Well, yeah." She swallowed hard. "I mean, I wanted to. If it's okay with you. I don't...have to. I guess we never talked about it."_

 _He smiled. "We're talking about it now."_

 _She smiled back. "We are."_

 _Deeks stepped forward and hugged his fiancée, making no move to take the important papers from her. "To be honest, Kens, I kind of assumed you'd want to keep your name. Because of your dad, you know?"_

 _"I thought about it," she admitted. "But I want..." She huffed at herself and trailed off._

 _He pulled away far enough to meet her eyes._

 _"I want us to be a family," she said on her second try._

 _"Oh, Kens." He ducked his head to kiss her. "I want that, too. We will be a family. Hell, you're my family now. A name isn't going to change that."_

 _"I know. But it... I want it. For me. And for_ us _. I want that connection with you."_

 _"You're sure?"_

 _"Yes."_

 _He smiled and then kissed her again. "Then I have to tell you that this makes me very, very happy."_

 _She smiled back at him. "Really?"_

 _He nodded. "Really." He stared at her for a long moment, before reaching forward and running his fingers through the loose strands of hair framing her face. "Kensi Deeks," he tested the name for the first time._

 _They both smiled at the words._

 _"Sounds good," she said._

 _"Sounds really good."_

 _"I'm glad you're okay with it," she said, releasing her strong grip on the papers._

 _He tugged them from her hands. "Of course."_

 _"Would you also be okay if I was Kensi Blye professionally if I get into NCIS?"_

 _"You mean when you get into NCIS?" He corrected._

 _She huffed a laugh. "When I get into NCIS?"_

 _"Of course," he said again. "For your dad?"_

 _She nodded. "That's for him." She wrapped her arms around his neck, tugging him down to her level and resting her forehead against his. "This is for me."_

 _He smiled softly. "The art of compromise."_

00

The first week has its ups and downs.

He feels scrutinized by Callen and Sam. They watch, ask questions and analyze his every move. It's irritating, especially considering he's spent so many years working undercover where, other than minimal monitoring by a handler, he was so very independent. But he recognizes that both Callen and Sam would be overbearing with _any_ new member to their team, so he knows not to take it personally.

He's enjoying spending so much time with his wife. He's basically been away for half a year with his two back-to-back assignments. And even before that with their combined hectic schedules, it wasn't like they had a lot of free time together. So, he's enjoying the time together now. He always knew she was awesome at her job, but actually getting to see her in her element is pretty amazing. Callen and Sam are clearly highly trained and experienced operators, but they treat her like an equal. And that alone is enough to earn Deeks's respect, because he'd witnessed her struggle over the years to find a team who would take her seriously as a young woman in a male dominated world. But they listen to her and give her meaningful assignments, and they trade barbs with her without a second thought.

They make a strong team.

He's struggling with the team thing. Working undercover worked well for him because he didn't have to trust the people he was working with, because they were bad guys. Through his career with the LAPD, he's worked with a lot of other cops, and held varying levels of trust and partnership - some okay and some very bad - but he's never worked in this new type of dynamic.

He trusts his wife. To him, trusting her is like knowing how to breathe. But he's not so sure about interacting with and trusting a team. He's not sure how to go about building that sort of trust, and he's not quite sure he wants to. But Kensi trusts the team, and he trusts Kensi, so he's willing to try.

He's also kept his word to his wife and called her Kensi at work all week.

She hasn't exactly kept her word about calling him Deeks, but she also hasn't not kept her word. He's noticed she's made a concerted effort to not call him anything at all when they're at work in earshot of anyone else.

Nothing. Not Deeks, Detective Deeks, Detective, Marty, or even _hey, you_.

He debated calling her on it, but he's kind of curious as to how long she can keep it up, so he's keeping his mouth shut and silently counting the days.

The first week quickly turns into the second week.

Kensi keeps up her ability to communicate with him at work without calling him anything resembling a name. If Callen and Sam notice, they don't let on. They're still keeping a close eye on Deeks, but he's pretty certain that they're watching him to assess his skills and abilities, and have no clue about his relationship with their junior agent.

He's still overjoyed to be home. And he's still excited to be working with his wife. But now that reality is setting in that this is their new life and the need to cling following his near death experience is starting to wear off the both of them, they're realising that they've literally spent every moment together other than their drives to and from work for almost two weeks.

So, when Kensi mentions her friend is in town, Deeks urges her to make plans.

"I got an e-mail from an old friend today," she tells him as he wanders into the living room. She's sitting on the couch, legs crossed with her laptop in her lap. Monty is curled next to her. "She's in town. Wants to have lunch."

"Who?" He asks as he sits beside her, on the side Monty isn't occupying.

"Anna Kline."

"Anna Kline," he echoes, trying to pull out the memory. "Fellow military brat? Now living in...Seattle?"

"Washington state, not quite Seattle, but good memory."

"You going to get together?"

"I was thinking of suggesting Friday? If that's okay with you? She's only in town for a couple days and-"

He leans and kisses her to cut her off. "Yes. Go out with your friend."

She eyes him playfully. "You sure you don't want to take a moment to think about it?"

He laughs. "I love you more than anything, Kens, but I think it's healthy for us to do some things apart."

She sighs and leans into him. "We have been spending all our time together."

"Only every single minute."

She laughs. "I'll set it up. You should do something, too."

"I'll see if Kip's free. Maybe we can grabs drinks Friday night."

They each make plans with their friends for Friday.

On Thursday at work, Kensi is fretting and focussed on her computer screen when Deeks walks into the Mission.

Callen and Sam are nowhere to be seen, so Deeks approaches his wife's desk with less caution than normal. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing," she says, before biting her lip.

"You forget how well I know you. That is not a Kensi-nothing-is-wrong face."

She sighs. "Anna doesn't know what I do."

He nods. Considering their careers, it's not unusual that their friends don't know what they do. A lot of their friends think he's still a lawyer.

"It was stupid, and a long time ago, and it was on a whim, but I told her I was a curator at a gallery."

He blinks. "An art gallery?"

"What other kind of gallery would I be talking about?"

"I don't know. Do you have some knowledge of art that I'm not aware of?"

She glares up at him.

He smirks right back at her. "Because the closest to artist knowledge you've ever shown was calling that picture of the dogs playing poker, that I wanted to buy, ridiculous."

"It was ridiculous."

"And literally the only debate or discussion over art we've ever had. Unless you count the paper snowflake competition we had the first Christmas we lived together."

"I thought galleries were cool and sounded...sophisticated, okay? I didn't think it would be this hard to...learn things."

He steps around her desk to view her computer screen. She has an internet search of popular paintings up on her browser. "Oh, Kens. That's...well, that's kind of adorable. But you realize people go to school to learn this stuff, right? It's not something you can learn in a day and a half."

"I can try."

He smiles to himself as he suddenly foresees a long night ahead of helping his wife study to maintain her cover story. "Yes, you can. And if anyone can do it, you can."

She smiles at him, passionate and determined. He smiles back, recognizing hints of the college girl he had fallen in love with so many years ago; so eager and determined. He wishes they aren't at work because all he wants to do in this moment is kiss her. Her smile softens and her head tilts, and he knows she's following his train of thought.

After work, he makes three stops on his way home before finding what he's looking for. Then he picks up food and makes his way home.

He's not sure if Kensi is happier about the Chinese food or the flashcards of popular paintings to help with her studying. Either way, he finally gets to kiss his wife like he's wanted to all day.

00

Friday morning begins relatively calmly. By mid-morning, Kensi changes in her lunch outfit. She's memorized as much knowledge as she can, but just can't tell the difference between one painting and another.

With her change of clothes and obsession with the flashcards, the team forces an explanation out of her. Deeks actually smiles at the well practiced mocking that results. Because his wife is a fully fledged member of this team.

Unfortunately, before she can leave for lunch with her friend, a high priority case comes in.

An NCIS agent working overseas investigating a Chechen rebel group was murdered by a highly skilled hit squad. One member of the hit squad was ID'd and known to have flown to LA, where the rest of the squad was assumed to be as well.

Kensi cancels her plans, claiming an art emergency and reschedules for dinner.

"What exactly is an art emergency?" Deeks asks as they sit down in an attempt to review the research filed so far by the agent who had been killed, while Callen and Sam are on their way to the airport to see what information they can get from the ID'd hit squad member.

"Shut up," she mutters.

He laughs. "I mean, Anna's going to ask for an explanation. What are you going to tell her?"

"I'll think of something."

"Something that fits the definition of art emergency."

She shoots him a glare. "Yes."

He holds up his hands in surrender. "Okay. Let me know if you want my help with that."

She shoots him another glare, which makes him laugh.

"Anyway," he says, still laughing. "Let's focus on work."

She's still glaring at him, though she's smiling, too. "Yes, let's."

He picks up the control for the video screen on the downstairs monitor and only struggles slightly before managing to turn it on and pull up the file Eric has sent them. "So, this is the information Agent Williams sent before he was killed."

She nods. "Williams was investigating a rebel group in Chechnya called the Grozny Emirate."

"Oh, I have that." He opens the file Eric had given him. "Grozny Emirate... Islamic radicals with ties to Al-Qaeda. Founded nine years ago by Vakar. No known last name."

"Just Vakar?"

"Just Vakar. Also, we only have one picture." He pulls the single security photo in the file and passes it to her.

"This is all we have? This is almost nothing."

"Agreed." The photo was taken with Vakar facing almost away from the camera. All that can be seen is long, dark hair and the profile of his nose and mouth. "But I guess being a terrorist isn't a photo friendly occupation." He continues to flip through his file. "Or a safe one. It says here that Vakar was killed by Russian forces seven years ago."

Kensi sighs and sets the photo down. "So, their leader was killed and the organization probably took some time to...let's say, rebuild. Maybe they're trying to make a name for themselves again now."

He nods. "Okay. Maybe they were planning something. Agent Williams caught onto it. They had him killed."

She nods. "Possible."

"But you don't think so?"

"Hiring a hit squad of this caliber to take out an American agent isn't cheap."

He checks the file. "The file says the Grozny Emirate only has five million in liquid assets."

"Then they really can't afford it."

"Something doesn't track. They can't afford the money or the spotlight that comes with killing an NCIS agent. They did this publically. They had to know NCIS would be on to them quickly."

She nods along. "There has to be something more to it. Williams must have found something out and they had to act quickly. Either they're planning an attack that's imminent or they're going to take someone else out and they think they can do it before we can figure out who it is."

As it turned out, the second one was correct. Callen and Sam caught the ID'd hit squad member, who gave up the plan. He and his team were in LA for a hit. Callen went undercover as his backup with the rest of the hit squad to determine the target.

He's given the name Emma Mastin, a housewife in Sherman Oaks. Kensi and Deeks are sent to investigate and obtain any information they can.

They have Eric hack into her security system to give them an in and wait for her to call the company's number for help. Eric intercepts the call and promises to have technicians at her house within fifteen minutes.

When they pull up to Emma Mastin's house, they can hear the alarm blaring on and off from inside the house.

"I guess that security for super spies course you did at Quantico is finally paying off," he says as they walk up the driveway."

She rolls her eyes. "It was an urban counter surveillance course."

"Same difference."

They reach the door and she bumps his hip playfully as she reaches up to knock on the door. "I think you're different."

"That doesn't even make-"

The door opens and they both plaster professional smiles on their faces as they face Emma Mastin for the first time.

"Hi, Mrs. Mastin?" Kensi greets.

"Hi."

"We're here from Live Feed Security."

Emma Mastin quickly opens the door with a smile on her face. "Oh, what took you guys so long?" She says, clearly able to see the humour in the situation. She quickly leads them to the alarm box, where the alarm is still blaring on and off. "I keep turning if off, but it keeps turning back on."

"Let me take a look at the cue pad," Kensi says, poking at the buttons.

Deeks takes a moment to glances around the living space as his wife keeps Emma Mastin occupied. So far there's nothing to suggestion anything unusual with this woman. He wanders to the edge of a family room, past a little boy who eyes him warily.

Kensi keys in the magic code Eric had given them to stop the alarm from sounding, telling Emma Mastin she had reset the system.

The boy steps out from his drawing table to face Deeks. "Mommy," he calls, "The strange man is snooping."

Emma smiles at her son. "Joshua, this man is our guest. Be polite."

Deeks offers the boy a smile. The information Eric had managed to amass so far on Emma Mastin was that she was married with a six year old son, so this is not unexpected. "What's up, little man? I'm Marty."

Joshua stares at him for a long moment before smiling. "Do you play video games?"

"I do, I do play video games. But I'm actually working right now, Joshua."

Joshua doesn't seem to understand that working means he can't play, because he turns to his mom with a beaming smile on his face. "Mommy, can he play?"

Emma shrugs and looks to Deeks. "Well, if it's okay with you, Marty."

Deeks exchanges a quick glance with his wife, who nods once. This will be a good way for her to speak with Emma without her son around. "Uh, yeah, no, absolutely. Show me the way."

Joshua hurries into the family room and Deeks follows behind. He passes Deeks a controller and starts up a car racing video game.

"Wow, you're awesome at this," Deeks tells the boy as they start the race.

He makes sure to let Joshua win, while also taking in the details of the room. Nothing seems out of the ordinary. His experience tells him people can be extremely adept at hiding who they are, but he's not seeing any triggers here.

When the race is over, he high fives Joshua and congratulates him on his victory.

The boy runs back to his mother, interrupting the conversation between Kensi and Emma.

To Kensi and Deeks's surprise, he calls out a string of words that are very much not English before high fiving his mother.

Deeks clears his throat and tries to act nonchalant. "I've actually never heard that language before, and I just have to ask, what, uh, what is it?"

Emma's lips tighten as she sets her hand on her son's shoulder, protective. And Deeks suddenly knows she's done a damn good job of acting like she's not suspicious of them since the moment they stepped foot in her home. "It's Chechen," she answers.

Kensi and Deeks exchange a look when Emma looks down at her son.

Deeks nods, confirming he knows they have no cover in this house. Whoever Emma Mastin is, she doesn't believe they work for her alarm company.

Kensi shifts her eyes towards the back door and then towards Joshua and then towards Deeks.

Deeks nods, agreeing to her plan.

Kensi clears her throat. "Emma, why don't we chat in the backyard for a minute?"

Emma considers her, both of them really, and Deeks knows he's dealing with a trained operator. He watches her eyes flicker towards her son, and he knows her biggest worry is his safety. And right now, she has two people in her house whom she doesn't know, who are asking her to separate from her son.

"Joshua, you want to try and beat me at your video game again?" Deeks says lightly.

The boy may not know what's going on, but he's picked up on the tension and looks to his mother for direction.

Deeks subtly shifts and pulls his badge out of his pocket, letting Emma see it without Joshua knowing what's happening, wanting her to know her son is safe with him.

She meets his eyes and nods once. "You stay with Marty," she says to Joshua. "I'll be right outside."

Deeks and Joshua play two more games, but the boy is not as enthusiastic as before and doesn't want to keep playing.

"Is my mommy okay?" He asks Deeks as they make their way back from the family room.

"I think so," Deeks responds.

Joshua frowns. "But you don't know for sure."

Deeks sighs and considers the young boy. "The thing about being an adult, Joshua, is that sometimes you don't know things for sure."

Joshua stares out the patio door window where his mother and Kensi are talking.

"What do you know for sure?"

"I know you're better than me at video games," he says, smiling when that gets the boy to laugh. "And I know your mom loves you very much."

His phone rings in his pocket. He pulls it out and makes a face. "And I know I have to answer this phone call."

Joshua laughs again.

Deeks takes a few steps away from the boys before answering the call. His caller ID tells him its Sam.

"Hello."

"Deeks, Vakar's still alive."

This surprises him. "But the file said he was killed seven years ago."

"The file was wrong. Vakar's the one who put the hit out on Agent William's. Now he's got them after Emma Mastin." Sam pauses. "Any Chechen connect with Emma Mastin so far?"

He glances at Joshua, who is staring at him. "Uh, yup."

Sam clearly immediately understands he can't talk freely. "Call me back when you can talk," he says, and he hangs up.

"Bye to you, too," Deeks says, ending the call on his end before texting Kensi the new information.

"Who was killed seven years ago?" Joshua asks.

"Uh, no one," he says, chastising himself for not being more careful.

Joshua sighs. "Adult stuff again?"

"Adult stuff again," he confirms.

The news that Vakar is alive changes a lot. In a previous life, Emma Mastin had been married to him. She had found out she was pregnant and that he had been killed about the same time. She had broken free of his hold on her and his terrorist group, switched sides, and traded information for a new life. She had met and married Clay Mastin, which was how she had ended up a housewife in Sherman Oaks, Los Angeles.

She had had no idea until now her former husband was alive.

She offers herself up as bait, knowing they need to catch the hit squad red handed, and knowing this is the best chance to catch Vakar.

The hit squad's plan - according to Callen's intel - is to take her out this afternoon at the grocery store. They take Joshua into protective custody and send Emma to the store. Kensi and Deeks follow her in the car and sit in the parking lot to ensure her vehicle is not tampered with. Callen is still undercover with the hit squad. And Sam is out back with the tactical team, waiting for the right moment to take down the entire hit squad.

Kensi and Deeks sit together in the SRX, listening through their earwigs to the limited information available. They don't expect to be called in for help, but are ready to go if needed.

Everyone is surprised when nothing happens. Emma is left alone by everyone in the store. With her operational training, she pays for her items and leaves the store. Kensi and Deeks watch her get into her car. They exchange a look as Kensi turns on the SRX and pulls out after Emma.

"Emma's on her way home," Deeks says through the open communication line. "We're tailing her."

"Let us know what's going on," Kensi adds.

They get halfway to Emma's house when they reach a construction site. Emma gets waved through. Deeks is just realizing the combination of vehicles and lack of actual work doesn't mesh when a dump truck blocks them off from Emma's car.

"We're blocked off from her."

"It's a set up," Kensi says.

"Let's do this," Deeks says as they both pull their weapons.

"Right."

The sound of gunfire greets them the moment they open the car doors. Deeks can only hope it's Emma firing to defend herself.

The driver of the dump truck open the door with a gun in his hand, poised to shoot, but Kensi shoots him first.

Another man appears around the side of the truck, also shooting, but Deeks takes him down before he becomes a real threat.

They pause to use the truck as cover, both hyper aware that there are more bad guys on the other side, that they are not wearing any sort of protective vests, and that Emma is trapped in her car.

"Together," he says.

"Together," she confirms.

He takes a breath. "Ready?"

"Go."

They move together around the side of the truck. As expected, there are several bad guys with guns waiting for them. The bad guys scatter when Kensi and Deeks start shooting.

Deeks spots Emma still in her car. There is a dead bad guy on the ground next to her car, so she's clearly used her weapon to defend herself. He heads for her car, using it as cover. In a moment, Kensi is beside him. Emma opens her car door and hunches down beside them.

An SUV comes racing up to the scene, and for a moment Deeks thinks they're screwed, but Sam and Callen jump out of the vehicle. And he realizes maybe this team thing is better than he thought.

"Okay, follow us," Deeks says to Emma. With Emma following, he and Kensi work together to cover a safe route to get her out of harm's way. Callen and Sam help immensely, and within minutes, the scene is secure and all the good guys are safe.

Kensi and Deeks drive Emma home and stay until her husband gets home. Hetty immediately contacts US Marshalls to help in having new identities and cover stories set up for Emma and her family right away to keep them all safe from Vakar.

"Well, that was exciting," Deeks says dryly, as they drive back from Emma's house to the Mission, leaving her well protected.

She huffs a laugh. "We work pretty well together."

"Well, we've always known that," he says with a smile.

She looks away from the road for a moment to smile back at him. "True."

"You're really awesome, you know?"

She doesn't look away from the road again, but she keeps smiling. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. Very hot."

She snorts a laugh, which only serves to make him laugh.

They continue to banter for the rest of the drive back to the Mission.

When they get there, Callen and Sam are in the office area, with Eric.

"You guys had an audience today," Eric announces. He pulls up a security still frame from the ambush site. The hair is different, but the partial profile is the same as the single photo on record the file they had gone through earlier.

"Vakar," Deeks says.

Eric nods.

"He was there," Sam says, exchanging a look with his partner.

Callen sighs. "Emma and her family are out of his reach right now. And we'll pass this information on to every agency who could possibly care to look for him, including interpol."

Sam nods. "He's probably already made himself scarce." He shakes his head. "Damn. We could have had him before he destroys someone else's life."

Deeks exchanges a look with his wife. He doesn't know why, but the feeling in his gut doesn't only feel like disappointment. It feels a bit like dread.


	29. Borderline

_**AN: Just to quickly address a guest review question. Kensi and Deeks (having been married nearly 8 years) have talked about kids. That will come up in flashbacks and will be discussed in 'current time' probably later this season, and definitely next season.**_

* * *

Episode 2.03 - Borderline

 _Kensi bit back a smirk at her equally adorable and clueless boyfriend. He was very much out of his element, but hadn't complained (much) since they arrived at the camp grounds._

 _He'd been desperately confused by the poles, stakes and canvas that came out of the tent packaging, but with little explanation as to the purpose of each piece, had been able to assist her in pitching the tent._

 _And other than jokes about sharking sleeping bags, he hadn't complained or blinked about the slim air mattresses and rolled out sleeping bags they would be sleeping in. He hadn't exactly reacted well when she explained why she would be hanging their food supplies in a tree away from their tent, but she was pretty sure he was already over that._

 _And when she had sent him looking for wood for a fire, he had done so without complaint._

 _Of course, she returned from her own search to find him proudly standing over a tightly packed pile of wood._

 _"Ready to light this baby up?" He asked. "Cause I for one am ready for hot dogs and 'smores."_

 _"Just about," she said gently. "We just need to...rearrange." She dropped her pile of wood and rocks beside his and made quick work of dismantling it._

 _"Hey! Do you know how long that took me to put together?"_

 _"And it looks great," she told him. "Only it will never light."_

 _"Why?" He asked, sounding slightly frustrated._

 _She motioned for him to crouch beside her as she quickly rearranged his sticks into a box. "Fire needs oxygen, so the camp fire needs to not be packed together so tightly."_

 _He nodded along._

 _"Also, we need some easy to light wood to get it all started." She grabs a handful of small sticks and dried bark she had collected and waves it before sticking it inside the box she had constructed. "We call it kindling." She pulls a match book out of her pocket and hands it to him. "Want to do the honour?"_

 _He nodded and took the match book._

 _She watched as he carefully lit a match and reached his hand into the box to light the kindling. A piece of bark caught fire and slowly began to burn. They watched together as the flames gradually spread to another piece of bark._

 _"Gotta be honest, Kens, I was expecting that to be more...dramatic."_

 _She laughed. "It'll take time for the camp fire to get going, but it will." She pushed the rest of the wood out of the way and lifted one of the rocks she collected. She waved it and then placed it about six inches away from the campfire. "It's good to place a line of rocks around the fire, just in case it spreads out, to keep is from really spreading."_

 _"Alright." He helped her collect additional rocks to secure a full perimeter around the fire. By the time they were done, the fire had burned through the kindling and was starting along the edge of the box of wood._

 _"That's kind of awesome," he said._

 _She tucked herself into his side and smiled. "Glad you think so."_

 _He kissed the side of her head. "You learn this from your dad, too?"_

 _She nodded, both missing her dad in this moment, but also glad to be able to share the memory with Deeks. "Yeah. We would go hiking and camping and tracking all the time."_

 _"That's really nice, Kens. I'm glad you have those memories with him." He pressed a second kiss to her head. "And also that you have all these big bad Blye survival skills to keep us warm and fed, and safe from bears."_

 _She laughed. "You seem to have a lot of faith in these so called big bag Blye survival skills."_

 _"I have a lot of faith in you."_

00

Kensi steps slowly and cautiously along the sandy path, eyes on the ground searching for clues. Behind her, Deeks is humming.

She rolls her eyes. "That is not helping."

The humming stops. "What's the not helping?"

She turns to shoot him a glare. He's standing several feet behind her, wearing jeans and a brown jacket. His hair is extra messy from the helmet he's been wearing on and off for the past several hours as they've ridden motorbikes through the desert together, following what they hope is a path that will lead them to two missing marines. Despite her irritation, he looks rugged and handsome, but because of her irritation she's not about to tell him.

He winces and then smiles. "Sorry. It's just been a couple hours and..." He waves his hands at the surrounding desert, "Well, honestly I'm a little bored. This isn't exactly my idea of a day in the office."

She raises an eyebrow. "We have one dead marine, one injured and two missing. As long as two are still missing, we have a job to do."

"That's your job."

She feels herself bristle. "You don't think this is important?"

"Hey," he says sharply, stepping forward. "Of course I think this is important. You know that." He stops right in front of her, meeting her eyes and holding her gaze. "I just don't feel like I'm doing anything to help. You're using your big bad Blye tracking skills you learned from your dad. And I'm...accompanying and observing."

Kensi sighs at his choice of words. The same choice of words Callen and Sam had used when Deeks and Kensi had been sent out to the desert near the Mexican border to view the site of the marine ambush. They had told Deeks to accompany and observe Kensi. They had told him it would be good experience for him.

They had assumed he needed the experience.

She loves her team, but she wishes they had more tact.

"You and I both know you're doing more than that."

He smiles sadly at her. "Yeah, like what? Cause, I gotta tell you, my mouth tastes like dirt, my ass is killing me from riding the bike for so long..." He pauses and smirks. "Though I haven't exactly minded following you cause the view's been pretty nice."

She glares at him again, though there's no bite behind it and they both know it.

"But," he continues, "I can't remember actually contributing anything to this team effort."

Kensi's mouth kind of tastes like dirt, too, from being in the desert so long. And she's hot and sweaty, just like she knows he is. And they're both starting to get sunburned skin and chapped lips. Despite all of this, she steps into him and presses her lips to his.

"We have different skills," she tells him when she pulls away. "That's part of being on a team." She grasps onto the fabric of his jacket, remaining close to him, despite the heat of the desert. "I might have the necessary tracking skills right now, but you have my back."

"Always," he agrees easily.

"And you believed me when Major Orley brushed me off." She feels her brow furrow as she recalls how the Major had ignored her claims as to the direction the vehicle they believed had taken the missing marines had gone.

He shrugs. "Well, Orley was a sexist jerk. And you're awesome."

She smiles at that. "You're awesome, too, Marty."

He offers her a soft smile.

She cocks her head, considering him for a moment, knowing he doesn't completely believe her. In the near month he's been working full time with the team, she's watched him struggle to settle and find a niche for himself. It had been hard for her to find a team who would accept her, but once she had, she had settled with little fanfare. Probably because she had always been working within a team construct. She hadn't realized how his years of undercover work and working alone or only temporarily with other departments between assignments would make it so difficult for him to settle with a team now. She knew Callen and Sam weren't exactly making it easy, but she also knew Marty wasn't helping the situation along either.

She stretches up and kisses him again, deciding to let it go. Hopefully he just needs more time.

"I have to find the trail," she says, turning back to the spot she had been at when he had distracted her with his humming.

"Wait, find? Are we lost?"

"No, we are not lost."

"You've said that before."

"I've said that lots of times," she responds, not allowing herself to be baited and turn back to him.

"Yes, but one particular time you were wrong."

She rolls her eyes. "We've been hiking a hundred times. We were...not where I thought we were one time."

"We were lost."

"We weren't lost."

"We were lost."

She huffs. "We just weren't where I thought we were."

"Which is the definition of being lost."

"You're very annoying," she says as she steps forward, eyes still on the path.

"I think the word you're looking for is _right._ And possibly also lost."

"I think the words you're looking for is _about to find himself stranded in the desert_."

He laughs out loud, and she allows herself a small smile at having made him laugh.

"You wouldn't."

"Keep testing me and find out."

"Wouldn't you miss me?"

She shrugs. "Meh."

He laughs again. "What would you do without me? We're looking at houses this weekend."

"Monty and I could handle the mortgage."

He scoffs. "Monty's a freeloader."

She clicks her tongue. "Don't say that about my dog."

"Your dog?"

"Yup. My dog."

"And here I was thinking he was _our_ dog."

"Not when you're being mean and calling him a freeloader."

He laughs again. "He's a total freeloader. All he does is-"

"Aha!" She cuts him off as she spots a tire track in the sandy path. "Found the path."

He's immediately at her side and serious. "You sure?"

She nods. "SUV tracks, riding low, with a chunk out of the right rear tire."

He smiles proudly at her. "Big bad Blye tracking skills win again."

She smiles back. "Let's go."

They make their way back to their bikes, but he hesitates before getting on his.

"Don't tell me..."

He nods. "Yup, I gotta pee again."

"Marty, seriously."

"What? I hydrated for the desert," he calls over his shoulder as he walks off the path and finds himself a bush. "No peeking!" he calls jokingly.

"I can peek if I want to!" She calls back, rolling her eyes. She takes her time getting onto her bike and putting her helmet back on. When Deeks is done at the bush, he hurries back to his own bike and secures his own helmet.

"You ready?" She asks.

"Let's do this thing."

00

An hour later, they've stopped three times to pick up the trail and for Deeks to visit the bushes. The missing marines had been helping ICE and border control to secure the US-Mexican border, but the trail Kensi and Deeks are following are taking them further and further from the border.

"Where are they going?" Kensi questions.

"If we knew that, we wouldn't have to track them through the desert," Deeks points out dryly, clearly trying to inject some humour.

She sighs and meets his eyes. "What if we're not following the right trail?"

He shakes his head. "We are."

"How do you know that? You don't know how to track." She's tired and hot, and the words come out much harsher than she meant. She regrets them the moment they leave her mouth, but he responds before she can apologize.

"Because I trust you," he says simply. "You follow the trail. I follow you. Eventually, we'll both get to the missing marines."

She stares at him for a long moment. "You really believe that."

He nods. "Yup."

"You have a lot of faith in me."

This time he smiles and nods. "Yup."

She feels herself smile back. "That's nice, Marty."

"Didn't you say we all have our things on a team? You can be the tracker. I'll be the motivational speaker."

She laughs. "The motivational speaker?"

He nods. "With awesome hair."

She laughs harder and reaches up to further muss his already very mussed hair. "Well, then it's a good thing you can't see yourself right now..."

He fakes a gasp and then offers her a wry smile. "Bad?" He asks, carefully touching his hair.

"Not good."

He mock glares at her and she laughs.

"Not your usual style by pillow quality."

His eyes soften. "Well, I'll have to rectify that when we get home. I know how much you like my style by pillow hair..."

She smiles back at her husband, remembering exactly what he's remembering.

Unfortunately, the moment is interrupted by the ringing of her cell phone, reminding them of where they are and what they are doing. She glances at the caller ID and then answers on speaker phone.

"Hey Callen."

 _"Find anything?"_

"Not yet. Still tracking. Whoever they are, they're moving the marines a long way. You find anything?"

 _"Nothing yet. Sam and I are going to track down a lead here. Hopefully it'll give us some information on who's behind this."_

"Good luck with that."

 _"How's Deeks doing in the field?"_

Kensi exchanges a look with her husband as they realize the team leader doesn't realize he's on speakerphone. "He pees a lot," she says.

Deeks glares at her and she sticks her tongue out at him, trying not to laugh.

"Other than that, good."

 _"Good. Let us know if you find anything."_

"Likewise."

Kensi hangs up the phone when she realizes Callen has ended the call on his end.

"I hydrated for the desert," Deeks argues for what she's pretty sure if the ninth time.

"So did I. And how many times have I peed today compared to you?"

He purses his lips for a moment before shaking his head. "Unlike some people, I am not obsessed with the bathroom habits of others."

"Oh, I'm obsessed, am I?"

He nods. "Yup. You're counting how many times I pee today. There was that time you were certain Monty had anxiety issues because he doesn't like to poop when you're watching him-"

"He's a dog, Marty. That shouldn't be an issue," she calls over her shoulder as she gets back onto her bike.

"I'm going to tell him you said that."

"You're the one who was calling him a freeloader earlier."

"I said that with love."

She rolls her eyes. "Sure you did."

He smirks at her. "You know what?"

"What?"

"Today kind of sucks. But I can't say I'm not enjoying spending it with you."

She smiles at him, knowing he's right. Today has sucked. It's hot and dusty and they have no idea how much longer they'll be out here. But it has been nice to have him here with her. It's been fun to banter and trade barbs with him. He's kept her spirits up better than anyone else would be able to. "Yeah, me too."

00

The landscape changes gradually as they approach the Arizona border. A little less rolling hills of sand and a little more harder and steeper cliff like hills. A little less dusty, not that it makes much of a difference at this point. They're both long since coated in a skin thick layer of sweat and dust.

Their travel slows as the terrain becomes a bit more rocky.

Kensi can hear Deeks's bike right behind her. She can see traces of the trail they've been following for hours veer off to the left, but she spots a steep hill or cliff face ahead, and waves them towards it, hoping it will give them a vantage point and hint on the next leg of their hunt.

She pulls her bike to a stop and Deeks pulls his up beside hers.

"I can't believe people do this for fun," he complains as he pulls off his helmet.

She laughs, stepping off his bike. "If it's any consolation, you look rugged." She wasn't going to tell him, but she's tired and her resolve is slipping.

He smirks at her as he joins her and they begin to walk together towards the top of the hill. "Rugged, hm?"

"Yup."

He playfully bumps her hip with his. "Is it doing things for you?"

She laughs and bumps his hip back. "Well, it would be...if it weren't for the smell."

He scoffs, and then ducks his chin down to his chest, as if he's smelling himself. "Yeah, you may have a point. Though, no offense, you're not exactly smelling your best over there."

It's her turn to scoff.

"What? You said it first."

She sighs. "I cannot wait to get back and have a shower."

"A shared shower?"

"Not if we're still at work."

"Definitely not. Especially considering Hetty has all the showers on timers. No, I say we go home and exceed our recommended shower duration...together."

She laughs, but finds herself nodding. "If we're not both completely exhausted when we get home, sure."

"And if I regain feeling in my ass," he adds. "Have I mentioned how numb my ass it from sitting on the damn bike all day?"

"Only a few dozen times," she says, rolling her eyes.

He pats his ass with his hand for emphasis on how uncomfortable he is.

She smirks and reaches out with her own hand, pinching his supposedly numb ass.

He yelps and jumps in surprise.

"You felt that," she says with a laugh.

"Inappropriate workplace behaviour, Agent Blye," he jokes, his eyes sparkling.

"That was the point, Detective Deeks."

He huffs. "There you go calling me Detective Deeks again."

"No."

"Yes."

"No, I mean, I only called you Detective Deeks because you called me Agent Blye. I thought... I was joking!" She exclaims. "I haven't called you Detective Deeks in weeks."

He shoots her a look. "That's because you haven't called me anything in weeks."

She opens her mouth and then shuts it just as quickly.

"Yeah, I caught on to that," he calls her out, eyes still sparkling with humour.

She sighs. "I... At least I wasn't calling you Detective Deeks," she says, though she knows it's a lame argument.

He brushes against her as they walk together up the hill. "You know this isn't a long term solution, right?"

"I know. It's just...hard." She's tried, several times, to call him Deeks. She opens her mouth, but the name doesn't come out. Or her sentence just doesn't end like she plans. She likes working with her husband. But he's Marty. _They're_ the Deeks'.

"What's making it so hard?" He questions.

"I don't know, Marty," she says honestly. "I just don't want everything to change."

He stops suddenly. She stops, too. He meets her eyes. "You'd tell me if you weren't okay with me working with you and your team, right?"

"Our team now," she says. "And yes." She reaches for his hand. "I _like_ working with you. I really do. This is just..."

"Hard," he supplies.

"Yeah."

He squeezes her hand before dropping it. "Let's get through today, go home, share our shower, have something to eat, and talk tonight, okay? Maybe we can figure out what's going on in that head of yours."

"I'd like that."

They finish their walk up the hill and spot a shed, trailer and a few vehicles on the other side. They crouch down, using desert grass for cover.

"You think anyone's there?" Deeks asks.

"Hard to tell from here," she says. "But considering how far out we are and the number of vehicles, probably."

"You think they're involved?"

"No idea." She pulls out her phone and calls in to OPs.

 _"Hey, Kensi,"_ Eric answers.

"Eric, I think we may have found something. Can you pull up our coordinates?"

 _"Doing it now. What have you found?"_

"We've got a trailer home, a shed and at least three vehicles. No signs of life that we can see so far."

 _"You're thirty five miles from the Mexican border,"_ Eric relays.

"The trail brought us here. I'm going to move in for a closer look."

"No, Kensi," Deeks says, pulling her down as she tries to get up. He points down towards the trailer, and her eyes follow.

The trailer door is opening, and their missing marines are being ushered out by three men at gunpoint. Both are bloodied and limping, but alive.

"We got them," Kensi relays into her phone.

"They're both injured," Deeks adds.

 _"I'm connecting Callen,"_ Eric says.

In a moment, Callen is on the line with Eric.

"How many shooters, Kensi?" Callen asks.

"I see three. But there are a lot of places we can't see, so there could be more."

"They're taking them to the truck," Deeks points out.

Kensi nods her agreement. "They're moving them out. We have to act now."

 _"Do what you can,"_ Callen says. _"We're on our way."_

Kensi hangs up her phone and stows it back in her pocket.

"We need a plan," Kensi says, watching the three bad guys slowly push the two injured marines across the property below towards a truck.

"There's two of us, at least three of them and they have two hostages who are injured and don't look able to fight."

She nods along. "If we go straight at them, the most likely scenario will be the shooters killing the marines."

He nods. "Agreed. We need to separate the shooters to give this the best chance of working."

"How do you want to do that?"

"I ride in there on my bike, make sure they see me, at least one or two will give chase. You sneak down the hill in the confusion, take out the one or two that stay, and secure the marines. I'll lose or take out the one or two chasing me and loop back here."

She sighs and stares at him. "I don't like it."

"I don't either. The last thing I want to do is get back on that bike. I just got feeling back in my ass."

She huffs a laugh. "You know what I meant."

He turns serious. "I can handle the terrain and getting away from those guys. And of the two of us, you're the best shooter, and that's what those marines need right now. And they're running out of time."

"Marty..."

"This is the job, right?"

She finds herself nodding. "Okay."

He turns to head back down the hill, but she catches his arm.

He turns back and she stretches up to kiss him. "Please be safe."

He kisses her back. "I'll see you soon."

Kensi doesn't allow herself to dwell on her husband's part in this rescue mission as she begins to make her way along the edge of the hill top, looking for the best and fastest way down, knowing she'll need to make good time when he makes the distraction. She turns on her earwig, opening the line of communication between them.

"Can you hear me?"

There's a pause, and then she hears him, slightly out of breath. "Just got to the bike. I'll be a minute or two to get around the hill. You ready?"

She presses her comm again. "Ready when you are."

"Let's do this thing."

She crouches low, waiting. After a minutes, she begins to hear the motor of the bike in the distance. Clearly, the bad guys do, too. They stop moving the marines and stare around. The bike gets closer and then drives right onto the property.

Kensi holds her breath as Deeks drives closer than she would have liked, but she understands what he's doing. He's causing the best distraction he can for her. So, keeping her eyes on the scene, she begins to hurry down the hill.

It's steep and rough. She slips and slides and cringes as she twists her ankle particularly hard half way down. When she's nearing the bottom, Deeks has turned and is disappearing up the path she can now see that leads into the flat area that holds the trailer, shed and vehicles. When she reaches the bottom and makes her way towards cover behind a small tractor, she hears the humming of two ATV engines that are on their way after her husband.

Focusing on the task at hand, she forces thoughts of her husband's safety out of her mind.

She keeps her cover, waiting to see if anyone else will show themselves now that two of the three visible men have gone after Deeks.

No one else appears.

The one man left with the marines begins to force them towards a truck at gunpoint, clearly wanting them secure. She creeps up behind him and hits him in the back with the butt of her rifle. He falls to his knees. She hits him again and he hits the ground, knocked out cold.

"Who are you?" One of the marines, asks. Kensi remembers her name as Hastings.

"I'm NCIS. You guys okay?"

"Yeah," the other marine, Walker, says.

"We're okay," Hastings says.

Kensi hears another engine and swears as she realizes it's a car on its way into the compound. "Someone's coming. Come on, we gotta move."

She ushers them towards a tractor, grabbing the rifle from the unconscious gunman on her way by. Having spent the day traipsing through the desert, she's not exactly well armed.

The marines hunker down, and Kensi is at least grateful they are trained and know how to stay out of sight. She passes the spare rifle to Hastings, noting she's in slightly better shape than Walker.

The car drives by them, with at least two people in it, and she knows she's screwed. She's got two injured marines with her, only two weapons between the three of them, and they're taking cover behind a tractor. They can't get to the outskirts, and even if they could, the desert plants don't allow for adequate cover. Adding to that is the fact that the marines are clearly in no shape to make a run for it.

She takes a calming breath and presses her earwig. "Marty," she calls.

She waits a beat, but there is no answer.

"Marty," she says again, desperate.

Again, no answer.

She swallows hard, refusing to allow herself to speculate as to why her husband is not responding. If he's still trying to lose the guys chasing him, it could be that he can't take the time to respond.

Which means she's on her own.

And if it's another reason...well, she's not thinking that.

She motions for the marines to stay quiet. They listen together as the newest bad guys to join the party find their unconscious counterpart and wake him up. They listen as he tells them he'd been hit from behind.

Kensi forces herself to control her breathing, trying to remain calm and focussed, knowing she will need to do everything right to get out of this alive.

She hears a motor in the distance, and then peeks around the corner of the tractor when it gets closer. Her heart clenches at the sight of one of the ATVs that had gone after Deeks returning.

She presses her earwig with a slightly shaky hand. "Marty?" She says again.

Silence.

She closes her eyes for an extended moment and feels her chest heave. And then she takes a deep breath, reminding herself that he said he would see her soon.

The bad guys seem to be organized now that their apparent leader is back. They spread out, searching the grounds for their missing hostages.

"Wait until the last possible moment to take your shot," Kensi warns Hastings. "And then take down whoever you can."

Hastings nods.

With the bad guys spreading out, they are spotted within moments.

Hastings takes shots from her side of the tractor and Kensi from hers, both focused on the gunfire in front of the them. Right now, they're holding them off, but Kensi knows it's just a matter of time before she runs out of ammunition.

She leans around the edge of the tractor and takes three shots, before leaning back behind the cover. She glances to her left, making sure it's clear.

It doesn't occur to her to look behind her.

But Walker, injured and propped against the tractor to stay somewhat upright, is watching. "Behind you," he yells.

She turns, but it's too late to take a shot. The bad guy who has snuck up behind her and the marines has his rifle cocked and aimed.

Before she can begin to swing her rifle around, he's shot from behind and hits the ground.

Kensi blinks in surprise, and then feels a wave of relief as her husband, covered in more dirt than before and clutching to his own rifle, sprints towards them from the edge of the hill.

"I told you I'd see you soon," he cheeks as he reaches the side the tractor and settles beside her.

"Where have you been?" She demands.

"They killed my bike," he explains. "Shot it right out from under me, and right when I was starting to like it."

She huffs at him.

He offers a sheepish smile. "Lost my earwig in the fall. Didn't realize until I was halfway here, hearing gunfire and trying to call you."

"You're here now."

"I am." He reaches down for his ankle holster and pulls his handgun. He reaches across her to Walker. "Marine."

Walker takes the gun with a nod.

Kensi nods at him, grateful that at least they're all armed now. "You cover. I'm going to call in and see how far out our back up is."

Eric picks up quickly.

"Eric, they've got us pinned down."

 _"Copy that. Help is on the way."_

"How soon?"

 _"Ten minutes or less."_

"We don't have ten minutes."

 _"Callen and Sam are in a marine helicopter. They're moving as fast as they can."_

"Tell them to move faster." She hangs up the phone.

"Any big bad Blye idea how to get us out of here?" Deeks asks after a particularly hard rain of bullets hits the tractor.

"I'm thinking."

"Why do I keep seeing the end of _Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid_?"

She ignores his attempt at a joke.

There's another few seconds of gunfire and then it stops. A few moments go by and still nothing.

Kensi and Deeks exchange a look.

Deeks turns and very cautiously peeks his head up. There is no resulting gunfire. He takes a long look and then settles back down beside her. "What do you think they're waiting for?"

"I don't know," she responds. She takes her turns peeking up to see what she can see going on across the yard. She catches sight of a man running across the yard with a... She narrows her eyes just to make sure.

She settles back down and swears. "They have a grenade launcher," she announces.

"A what? People actually use grenade launchers?"

She nods. "Apparently."

"That's so much worse than the end of _Butch and Sundance_."

"We need to move now."

He nods.

She motions to a stationary SUV twenty feet from them. "That SUV might be our only chance."

"And if there's no keys?"

She turns her gaze back to him and gives him an exasperated look.

"Right, you can hotwire an airplane. An old SUV will be no problem."

"If you would just let me teach you-"

"I'm a cop. We stop people from hotwiring cars."

She huffs. "Fine."

"I'll draw their fire. You make a run for the SUV."

Kensi nods. She turns to the marines. "Marines, you ready?"

They both nod.

Kensi starts shooting. The bad guys start shooting back. Deeks starts shooting and running the opposite direction of the SUV, towards the trailer. Some of the gunfire is drawn towards him. Hastings joins her in shooting towards the bad guys, so she makes her move, running towards the SUV. The gunfire follows her, but not fast enough. She manages to make it to the SUV and into the front seats without much issue.

She keeps her head low and pulls out the wires from under the steering column, hoping the engine will turn over easily.

An explosion outside the car startles her and draws her attention. She glances up, hoping not to see the tractor giving the marines cover having been hit by a grenade. Instead the trailer's been hit.

The trailer that was in the direction Deeks had run.

"Marty," she whispers. But she doesn't get to dwell long, because the bad guys turn their attention on her. Bullets pierce the windows, shattering glass down on top of her. She winces at the stinging, and briefly debates continuing to hotwire the vehicle or abandon the plan, knowing time is ticking down and a grenade could be launched her direction any moment. Before she can decide, she hears the whirring of helicopter blades.

Gunfire from above sounds, and she knows it's their backup finally having arrived.

She backs out of the SUV, prepared to help.

But the helicopter lands, and Callen and Sam get out with a small group of marines. They make quick and efficient work of taking out the remaining bad guys and securing the scene.

Kensi turns from them, her attention towards the smoldering trailer, her heart suddenly in her throat. She knows if her husband was in there, there's no way he's still alive. Her eyes travel across the ground around the trailer, searching for hints, knowing that was the direction he ran to give her time and cover.

And suddenly, there he is. Still covered in dirt, and still clutching to his rifle, he stands from his perch behind an old truck in front of the trailer. She meets his eyes and breathes a sigh of relief. He cocks his head and offers her a crooked smile. She smiles back. Her once-upon-a-time-law-student husband looks anything but now. She wasn't lying earlier when she told him he looked rugged. But now he looks like an action star or something, unkempt and dirty, clutching his rifle, with the smoldering trailer behind him. She half wishes she had a camera.

When her team calls out to see if she's okay, she answers without thinking, heading for her husband.

"I'm good, too," he calls with an eye roll. "Just in case anybody cares."

She reaches him and hesitates, wanting to reach out for him.

He nods, his expression telling her just how much he understands. "We're both going home."

She nods. "Yeah."

"Let's go check on our marines," he says. "And I need to get my gun back."

She allows herself a laugh, feeling some tension leaving her chest. "Okay."

They make their way to the two injured marines, who look much worse now that the adrenaline rush is no longer needed.

"Thank you," Hastings says, her hand clutched to her abdomen.

Kensi lays her hand on the other woman's and squeezes. "Any time."

"Thanks for everything," Walker tells Deeks, passing him back his handgun.

Deeks takes the gun and returns it to his ankle holster. "No problem, man. You just focus on getting better, you hear me?"

Walker nods.

The marine rescue team quickly load the injured marines into the helicopter and take off.

"There's another helicopter coming for us with a forensics team," Callen announces. "We need to secure the scene as best we can before they get here."

Kensi nods.

"Is this it?"

"There's another body about half a mile from here," Deeks adds, pointing over the hill. "I can lead the forensics team there when they get here."

"Why so far away?"

"We had to get some of the bad guys away from the marines," Deeks explains. "I was the distraction."

Callen nods with a smirk. "Got the drop on him that far out?"

Deeks shrugs. "Sort of. He killed my bike. I played dead until he got close. Then I took him out. Ran back here as fast as I could."

Callen nods again. So does Sam.

Kensi bites back a smile, happy to see that her husband is slowly proving himself to the team.

"Walk us through the rest," Sam says.

Kensi nods and together she and Deeks explain their day tracking the marines, finding the location, the plan and the execution.

"You two did good," Callen says.

Sam nods. "The best you could considering the circumstances."

They spread out to secure what they can with the two marines who have stayed behind with them to help. Half an hour later, two helicopters arrive with a forensics team and supplies.

Deeks heads out with two of the forensics experts to secure the dead body and dead bike left out in the desert.

Kensi stays back with the team. After ten minutes, the forensics team has taken over, and she wanders over to the closest helicopter to sit on the edge, taking a much needed break. She pulls her water bottle from her pocket and takes a sip it's warm and doesn't taste great, but it soothes her parched throat and helps her mouth taste a little less like dirt.

After a few minutes, Callen wanders over to join her.

She shuffles over, making room for him to sit beside her.

"You look like crap."

She laughs and elbows him. "Always know what to say to make a girl feel special, Callen."

He smirks. "I feel honesty is the best policy."

"And that's why you're still single," she says without thinking.

"And so are you."

She feels herself frown slightly.

Callen clearly interprets her frown as regret for being single and not regret for not sharing her life with her team. "You did good today," he offers.

"Thanks."

"And Deeks did good today."

"He did." She pauses for a moment. "You should tell him."

"I will." He pauses. "He seems to be fitting in."

She feels herself nod. "I think so."

"This was a big test. I wouldn't have sent the two of you alone if I had known it would result in this. But he had your back."

She nods again. "He's good about that."

"And your focus was on him, when the scene was secure."

She swallows hard, eyes on Callen, suddenly wondering how much he was aware of.

"I thought he might have been in the trailer," she explains.

"I'm not saying you did anything wrong," Callen says.

She swallows again, recalling the panic swelling in her heart at the realization that he may have been in the trailer when it exploded from the grenade. And she suddenly recalls Nate's words from weeks earlier, about how her team couldn't support her in Deeks's disappearance because they didn't know who he was to her. She knows she wanted to wait until Deeks could make an unbiased impression, but had it been enough time?

"I'm actually glad to see it," Callen continues, surprising her.

"Glad?" She echoes.

He nods. "If it were me and Sam, I would have done the same thing."

She blinks. "That's not exactly the same thing..."

"Not yet."

Kensi chokes back a laugh, knowing Callen has no way of knowing what he's saying. "Not yet?"

"Not yet," he confirms. "But if I thought my partner could be injured or worse, that's where my focus would be before the rest of the team. It's a good sign that you're starting to do that already."

All hints of humour fall away from her. "Partner?"

Callen gives her an odd look and nods. "Partner," he confirms.

Kensi moves her gaze away from her team leader and stares across the yard in front of them, past the working forensic team and up the hill, needing a moment to organize her thoughts.

She's enjoyed working with her husband. And she's looked forward to working with him in the future; having him be part of the team. And she's always known he's damn good at his job. But she just didn't realize that meant...

"I didn't realize..."

"That Hetty meant for you two to be partners?" Callen surmises.

She nods.

"Is that a problem?"

Is it a problem? She's not sure.

Before she can begin to formulate an answer, Sam wanders over and the moment is gone.

"Hell of a day."

Kensi nods. "Yeah."

"Glad you and Deeks are okay, though. I'm sorry we cut it so close."

She shrugs. "We almost had it covered. If it wasn't for the grenade launcher, we would have had no problem."

Sam laughs and Callen joins him. And then the long time partners get into a debate as to how they would have dealt with the grenade launcher - and, of course, don't agree on what they would have done.

00

It's another three hours before the team finally finds themselves back at the office.

It's late and she's exhausted, but Kensi's mind is still running a mile a minute at Callen's earlier words. She's heard Nate's returned from his extended assignment to 'the People's Republic of None of Your Damn Business.' The psychologist has asked to speak with each of them, and she doesn't like the sound of that, but she's happy to wait and do so, wanting to take a few minutes to speak with one of the only people who know who Deeks really is to her after today.

Sam heads for Nate's office first, and she knows from experience that Callen will be next.

She heads for her locker and pulls out a bag of extra clothes. "I'm just going to grab a quick shower," she announces.

Callen doesn't even acknowledge her words.

Deeks shoots her a concerned look.

She knows they had plans to shower together. And that could still happen, but right now she just needs a few minutes to think. She tries to convey as many words as she can to him in a look as she walks by, but she can barely understand her own thoughts, so she doubts he can.

She showers and dresses in clean clothes. She doesn't feel like her thoughts are any less jumbled, but she feels better for being clean.

When she makes her way back to her desk, Callen is gone and Sam is sitting at his desk.

"Callen in with Nate?"

He nods.

"What does he want?"

"I'll let him tell you."

"Not going to give me a hint?"

"Nope."

She sighs and motions to the empty desk next to him. "Where's...Deeks?" She feels weird for asking, but thinks she manages to not outwardly flinch for calling him Deeks. She actually feels a little proud of herself and wishes he was there to witness it.

"Shower. Honestly, you both smelled pretty ripe."

She glares at him. "You try spending the day in the desert, in the dust and the heat, and then try coming in smelling like a freaking flower."

He smiles at that. "No thanks."

Callen returns from Nate's office with a slight scowl on his face.

Kensi frowns. "Okay, I don't like the look of that. What is going on?"

Sam waves her off. "That's just how his face looks." He motions towards Nate's office. "Just go and hear him out."

"This is not how my face looks," she hears Callen argue as she hurries towards Nate's office.

Nate ushers her into his office when she knocks. She stops dead the moment she steps in.

Because his desk is clear and there's a box of his things on the floor.

"Nate..."

He smiles sadly at her and motions to the chair opposite his desk. "Will you sit?"

"Why are you leaving?" She asks, all thoughts of her own problems gone in this moment.

Nate says nothing, but motions to the chair.

She ignores him. "Where are you going?"

"Kensi, please sit."

She practically collapses onto the chair, staring at the clear desk.

Nate sits in his chair and stays silent, waiting her out.

She eventually looks up at him. "Why?"

He offers her a sad smile. "Because I want to help people."

"You're helping people here."

He shakes his head. "I can help in other ways. And this is my chance."

She runs a hand through her damp hair. "Will we see you again?"

"Of course. This is still my home. I'll visit. And if you or the team needs me, I'll be here. I just won't be here every day anymore."

She feels her eyes well, despite herself, and blinks against the stinging of tears. "I'm sorry, Nate. It's been a long day and I'm making this about me. I'm happy for you, I am."

"Thank you," he says, giving her time to regain control of her emotions.

"Doing what you really want to do is important. If you need to leave to do that, I get it."

He smiles at her. "That means a lot, Kensi."

"I know I may have fought against you a bit at times, but I do appreciate everything you've done for me."

"A bit?" He echoes, making a joke. "You were one of my toughest cases. And I don't mean here. I mean ever."

She laughs.

"And I still never figured you out on my own. Happily married and all that."

"You don't think you would have gotten there on your own?"

He shakes his head. "No. But I do wonder what would have happened if you didn't tell me and I got to see you and Deeks working together. I wonder if I would have been able to tell."

"I wonder, too. Callen and Sam are oblivious, though. Today Callen compared me and Marty to him and Sam."

Nate laughs out loud. "I wish I'd seen that."

"Oh, it'll be up here forever," she says, tapping the side of her head.

Nate continues to smile, but becomes more serious. "I am glad you're happy, Kensi. Deeks seems like a really good guy."

"He is."

"Although Hetty tells me she hasn't heard you call him Deeks once since he's started. She says you've made a concerted effort to not call him anything at all while at work."

She huffs at having been caught by her husband and her boss. "First of all, why is that such a big deal to everyone today? And second, I just called him Deeks to Sam, right before I came in here."

"For the first time?"

She hesitates before nodding, knowing there's no point in lying. "Yes, for the first time."

"Why is it such a struggle for you?"

"Because his name is Marty."

Nate huffs a laugh. "Okay, so you know him as Marty. But everyone else calls him Deeks here. Why is it so difficult to call him Deeks here?"

"Because _I'm_ Deeks, too."

Nate looks slightly surprised before covering for it. "Outside of work?"

She nods. "I've been Kensi Deeks for just about eight years. It's weird."

He considers her for a long moment. "I can see how that may be weird, but I feel like there's something more."

She shakes her head and looks away from him, eyes back towards the empty desk.

"Me leaving means we really don't have time for you to avoid answering my questions," he presses.

"I don't... I don't know, Nate," she admits. "I don't understand what I'm feeling."

"Do you want him working here?"

"Yes," she says immediately. "I like working with him. A lot, actually."

"And you're okay with him joining the team?"

"Yes," she says again, quickly.

Too quickly.

Nate raises an eyebrow.

Kensi sighs and sits back in her chair. "I want him to be part of the team," she says less defensively.

"But..."

"But then Callen said something today, that...threw me. He said Hetty brought Marty on to the team to be my partner."

Nate stares at her and says nothing, waiting for her to continue.

"And I guess in retrospect that's pretty obvious, but I didn't get it. I didn't realize. And now... I don't know how I feel about that."

"Are you afraid you won't be able to be good partners?"

She thinks back to the day's events and to earlier cases they have worked together. "No. We work well together."

"Are you afraid being partners will change your relationship at home?"

She sighs and runs her fingers through her hair. "Maybe?"

"Do you want to expand on that?"

"He was all I had for a long time, Nate. My marriage is the most important thing in my life. And it was always separate from...this. And I love having him here, working with me. But it was always separate before and it worked. It's very...confusing."

"It's two conflicting thoughts," he summarises. "Having your work life and home life separate, versus having your husband at work. Especially in this type of work."

She nods. "We work as husband and wife. We work well. But... If we're supposed to be partners... What if that changes things? What if that becomes our main relationship and our marriage becomes secondary?"

Nate nods. "Why do you think your marriage works so well?"

She pauses, the question having caught her off guard, but it refocuses her. "We've been through a lot together. We love each other. We _trust_ each other. We've always had similar goals, and supported each other." Nate nods, pushing her to keep going. "He knows how to make me laugh when I'm having a bad day. He knows when to push and when to back off, as do I with him. We have the same dreams."

Nate nods. "And what do you think makes a good partnership?"

Kensi bites her lip as she considers the question. The closest she's come to a partnership was Dom, but that was so short lived, she can't draw much from it. She thinks about Callen and Sam. "Trust is important. Working together and accepting each other."

Nate nods along. "And working towards the same goals. Reading each other; knowing when to push and when to back off. Humour, maybe? To get through the bad days."

She frowns as she realizes what he's doing.

Nate smiles. "You have more than the basis for a strong partnership, Kensi. And I think you're strong enough to have a marriage and a partnership. And you already recognize those are two different relationships. You will need to balance both, but not necessarily keep them completely separate." He pauses for a moment to allow that to sink in. "If you're afraid you can't balance both, you need to talk to Deeks about it."

She nods, already feeling a bit better. This talk has helped her to organize and understand her thoughts. And she'll definitely talk to her husband about what she's feeling now that she can put her thoughts into words.

"I want you to say it."

"Say...what?"

"That you'll talk to Deeks about it."

"Fine. I'll talk to him about it."

"That's not what I want you to say."

She narrows her eyes at him for a long moment before realization hits. She takes a breath and bites back a smile. "Fine. I'll talk to _Deeks_ about it."

Nate smiles. "There you go. Despite this block you have on the name, it's just a name. Calling him Deeks at work won't change who he is to you at home. And it won't change who you are."

00

By the time Kensi gets home, she's exhausted.

Seeing as they still drive into work in tandem, they both have to drive home.

Deeks pulls into his parking space and she pulls into hers next to him.

It's late and dark and all she wants to do is crawl into bed next to her husband and sleep. But she knows they need to talk first. He's concerned about her and she wants to set his mind at ease.

He meets her on the sidewalk, his gaze soft and worried, even if he's trying not to show it. She smiles and reaches for his hand. They walk silently together up to their apartment.

It's dark and quiet when they open the front door. She had called her mother hours earlier to come and pick up Monty for the night.

The moment the door is shut behind them, Kensi reaches for her husband and wraps her arms around his middle.

"I love you," she tells him.

"Mmm, you, too," he murmurs into her hair.

Kensi settles against his chest, the side of her head pressed to his shoulder, warm and safe and loved in his strong arms. This is her favourite place in the world to be.

He holds her close and absently runs his palm up and down her spine. "I didn't like leaving you alone today," he whispers.

"I didn't like letting you go be the distraction when you left me alone," she whispers back. "Or when I thought you may have gotten blown up."

He stills his hand and hugs her a little closer.

"But we did what we had to," she adds.

"And we looked good doing it."

She snorts a laugh and pulls back just far enough to meet his eyes.

He smiles down at her and reaches to brush a few stray hairs back from her face. "You doing okay?"

She nods. "Nate helped me...figure some things out. And I want to talk to you about it."

"Of course. You can tell me anything."

She tugs him towards the couch and they curl up together. "We work really well together," she starts.

"We do," he agrees.

Kensi nods absently, trying to organize her thoughts to make to most sense to him.

He chuckles and nudges her playfully. "Is that a problem?"

She huffs and leans into him. "Not exactly. I didn't realize... Callen pointed out today that we're supposed to be partners."

Deeks takes a slow breath as the news sinks in to him. "I guess that makes sense if we're always working cases together."

"Yeah. And we're clearly good partners."

"Agreed," he says, threading their fingers together.

"So, I guess it worried me that we'd...fall into being good partners, but that we'd lose... _this_."

He squeezes her hand. "Our marriage?"

"Yeah." She leans in and presses her forehead to his chin. "This is the best part of my life, Marty. The most important part of my life."

He tilts his head down to press a kiss to her head, but makes no move to dislodge her. "Me too, Kens. And I promise you, if this job begins to interfere with _us_ , I'm out. Of the job, I mean. I'll quit. Nothing is important enough to risk losing you."

She lifts her head to meet his eyes. "That's really big of you, but you need to know you're somewhere permanently. You deserve to put down roots."

"I'm _here_ permanently," he says, squeezing her hand.

"And you deserve to be with a team, too," she insists. "And after talking with Nate, I think we can make it work. We're married at home and partners at work. We need to keep the relationships defined separately, but we can allow them to overlap."

"Married at home, partners at work," he echoes. "We can do that." He pauses. "Does that mean we're never telling the team about us?"

"No, I think it's important that they know one day. But I think we need to be able to be partners first."

"We need to figure that out first," he summarises.

She nods.

He ducks his head to kiss her. "Okay."

"And I need to get better at calling you Deeks."

He laughs. "Get better? You mean start calling me Deeks at all."

"I'll have you know I called you Deeks twice today. You just weren't around to hear it."

He kisses her again. "Progress."

"I'll get better."

"I have no doubt." He kisses her a third time. "Are you hungry?"

"Starving," she tells him.

He stands and playfully tugs her off the couch with him. "Let's see what we can scrounge from the fridge for dinner."

"Or we can order in," she suggests. "And while we're waiting for it to be delivered, I really need a shower."

He eyes her suspiciously. "You showered at work."

"But the showers at work are time restricted and so short. After our day in the desert, I really need a longer shower. Possibly with company..."

He smirks. "You know, I was just thinking the same thing..."

"Partners in sync."

"Partners," he agrees. And then he kisses her again. "But let's go be married right now."

She laughs as she allows him to tug her playfully towards the shower. "Agreed."


	30. Special Delivery

_**AN: So sorry for the delay...again. Still dealing with a lot of family stuff that is demanding my attention and my presence away from home. And, unfortunately, this is not the kind of story I can pick up and work on whenever and wherever I want, seeing as I spend a lot of time with the DVDs to get the scenes/dialogue correct. Things should hopefully settle down soon, and I'll get back to regular updates. I'm excited to move forward and write a lot of the key season 2 episodes.**_

 _ **Also, because I don't have a lot of time or internet time, I'm not able to respond to reviews right now. Please know that I appreciate all the comments and kind words! When I can access my e-mail through my phone, the comments make me smile and add some brightness to my not-so-bright right now days. When I have a chance to review them properly and respond, I will - or at least respond to questions as soon as possible.**_

* * *

Episode 2.04 - Special Delivery

Kensi stares out the upstairs window to get a better view of the backyard and frowns. The space is so small she's getting a better view of the neighbor's backyard than the one belonging to the house she is standing in.

She hears her husband's familiar footsteps behind her and sighs as his arms snake around her waist.

"Found you," he murmurs.

"I'll have to hide better next time," she jokes, stretching up and leaning back into him. She covers his hands with hers and smiles when their rings clink together. After a long week of work and learning how to be partners, it's nice to spend a normal day with her husband. She accepts now that they need to develop a new secondary role of partners. And she's actually enjoyed starting to work towards that with him. But now that their day to day life has become so much about secrecy, the opportunity to just be _normal_ has become something special. She enjoys being able to be out with him, looking at potential houses, as they take a step forward towards their future.

"I'll always find you," he whispers playfully.

"Well, you would here," she says flatly. "There's no privacy. Even the neighbours would know where we are at all times."

"You noticed that," he says dryly.

She laughs and turns in his arms. "I'm observant."

"I think I could actually reach out and touch the neighbour's house through the window on the one side," he adds.

"I know we can't exactly afford a lot, but I want to feel at home," she tells him. "I'd always feel on edge here."

He nods. "I agree. We'll keep looking."

They make their way downstairs to meet their realtor, who is waiting patiently in the house's kitchen.

"Not for you?" She asks.

Kensi shakes her head. "No, sorry, Cindy."

Cindy smiles. "Don't you worry. I promised your mother I would find you two the perfect house." Julia and Cindy had been friends for years and Julia had referred them to Cindy when she found out they were looking to buy their first house.

"And we appreciate that," Deeks says. "Any more for today?"

Cindy shakes her head. "No, but I'll line up a few promising listings for next weekend."

"Sounds good."

00

Monday morning comes too soon.

Kensi and Deeks, as usual, drive into work in tandem. Kensi lets him arrive first this time, having realized it will eventually catch Callen and Sam's attention if she always arrives first. The senior partners may continue to be oblivious to Kensi and Deeks as a couple, but Kensi knows they're prone to noticing patterns.

There is no case to greet them, so the team settles down at their desks to catch up on paperwork.

An hour into the part of the job Kensi likes the least, and she sits upright, taking a break to stretch her neck. Across the bullpen, Sam is focussed on his laptop screen, but beside him, Deeks is looking up and away from the team, his attention on something behind Kensi and Callen, near Hetty's desk.

Kensi frowns.

Deeks gaze flicks to her and then back to whatever he was looking at and then back to her again.

She cocks her head at him. _What?_

"We're being watched," he stage whispers.

"We're always being watched," Callen answers before Kensi can respond. The team leader had clearly noticed Deeks's distraction. He doesn't even look up from his computer screen.

"You'll get used to Hetty eventually," Sam adds. He, too, doesn't bother to look up from his computer screen.

"Right height to be Hetty," Deeks says. "But unless she has a penchant for wearing wigs and carrying notebooks to make notes as she spies on us, that's not Hetty."

Callen stops typing and looks at Deeks, fingers still poised over his keyboard. "Wigs?"

"Short red hair," Deeks explains. "And did I mention that she's making notes as she stares at us?"

Kensi glances over her shoulder. Sure enough, standing near Hetty's desk is a young, short, red head. And, as Deeks had said, she's clutching a note book in which she is making notes between glancing at the team. She turns back. "He's right."

"Would I make this up?" He shoots her an amused look before crossing his arms over his chest. "I refuse to work under these conditions."

Beside him, Sam huffs a laugh, but he too has been suitably distracted from his paperwork. "She doesn't look threatening, but we can't just let her stand there."

Callen nods to his partner. "You going to go over there?"

"You're the team leader," Sam shoots back.

Kensi laughs. "Not scared, are you, boys?"

They both look to her.

She tosses her hands up. "Hey, I'm not the team leader or the senior field agent, don't be looking at me."

They turn their collective gaze onto Deeks. He chuckles and copies Kensi in throwing his hands up. "And I'm just the liaison."

Sam sighs and makes a show of standing. "Fine. I'll do it." He doesn't get even a step away from his desk, though, when Hetty appears, seemingly out of nowhere like usual.

"Going somewhere, Mr. Hanna?" She asks, while waving the red head over to their desks.

"Uh, no," Sam says. "Just stretching the legs." He sits back down.

Hetty waits for the girl to reach her before addressing the team. "This is our new analyst, Nell Jones."

Nell clutches to her notebook as she stands beside Hetty, facing the team for the first time. Kensi can't quite tell if she's nervous, excited or both. Probably both, from the way her fingers are turning white in their tight grip on her notebook pages.

"Ms. Jones, this is the field team. They work in and out of the office as needed. And, when there is no active case keeping them busy, they are required to do their paperwork."

Kensi smiles at this.

Hetty allows herself a small smile as well, before moving to properly introduce the team. "This is Agent G. Callen and Agent Sam Hanna, senior field agents." She pauses for a moment to allow Nell to make eye contact but doesn't urge her to move forward and shake hands. "Agent Kensi Blye, junior field agent." Kensi makes eye contact with Nell, nods and offers the girl and encouraging smile. It's well known that Hetty doesn't particularly like analysts, so a little support here could go a long way. "And our LAPD liaison officer, Detective Marty Deeks."

"Hey, how's it going?" Deeks offers, ever friendly and welcoming. And not knowing the history of Hetty's dislike of analysts.

Nells smiles back, but glances uncertainly at Hetty. "Hi," she says, but says nothing more.

Hetty nods. "Good. I'll take you upstairs and introduce you to Mr. Beale, our technical operator. You'll be spending most of your time in our Operations Center."

The team watches together as Hetty leads the way up the stairs with Nell on her heels.

"Should we start taking bets now?" Callen says.

"Stop," Kensi chastises.

"Just talking from experience."

"What experience?" Deeks asks.

Kensi turns her attention to him. "For some unknown reason Hetty has a...dislike of analysts."

"A strong dislike," Sam adds.

"It won't be long before Nell has given up, just like all the others," Callen adds.

Deeks frowns. "How many have you been through?"

"Four in the last year," Callen says. "Most only stick around a couple weeks."

"One only lasted a day," Sam says. "He was here on Monday. Nowhere to be seen on Tuesday."

00

Unlike one of her former counterparts, Nell makes it to Tuesday.

Kensi is helping herself to a cup of coffee in the morning when she finds the young analyst lurking just down the hall. After their initial meeting the previous day, she hadn't seen the girl again.

Nell startles slightly at having been caught, but doesn't try to pretend she hadn't been staring. At least she's gotten rid of the notebook.

"Coffee?" Kensi offers, waving an empty mug.

Nell hesitates only for a moment before walking briskly over. "Yes, thank you. And sorry. Not for the coffee. For the...staring. I mean, I wasn't trying to spy on you. I just...Eric said the coffee was for everyone but I didn't want to overstep."

Kensi nods along as she pours a cup for Nell. She recalls what it's like to be new. And, more distinctly, she recalls what it's like to be the new girl in a male dominated profession. "You're not overstepping," she reassures. "It's for everyone. We just happen to get to sit closest to it." She offers Nell a smile.

Nell smiles back and seems to calm a little. She takes the cup from Kensi, and Kensi stands back as she helps herself to milk and sugar.

"You will have to drink that down here," Kensi warns. "Hetty may actually kill you if she catches you upstairs with food or drinks."

Nell nods. "She mentioned that. It's okay." She glances around. "I can just-"

"Come and join me," Kensi cuts in before Nell can make an excuse to run away.

She leads them back to the desks and motions to Deeks's desk. "You can sit here."

"But...I don't want Detective Deeks to be upset."

Kensi shakes her head. "He won't be. Plus, he's at his precinct, meeting with his Lieutenant this morning, so he won't be in until later."

Nell still hesitates, but with another nod from Kensi, very slowly sits down.

Kensi collapses into her own chair. She had had an early morning, and this was already her second coffee of the day. She and Deeks had gotten up early, with the plan to head into work early - and separately - to hit the gym. They had been just about ready to leave when they had realized it was the first Tuesday of the month and Deeks was expected at his precinct for his monthly meeting with his Lieutenant. He had hurried to leave, needing to head into the Mission first to pick up some reports, before making the drive to his precinct. Kensi had delayed leaving for a while, before heading into work herself. She had lost her momentum, though, and no longer cared to work out.

Nell clutches to her cup of coffee, clearly somewhat uncomfortable, before speaking up. "Does Detective Deeks have to go to his precinct a lot?"

"First Tuesday morning of every month," she says. "Other than that he's here all the time."

Nell nods. "That's good." She hesitates again, but Kensi waits her out. "It's, uh, early. I mean, you're here really early."

"It's good to change up your routine," Kensi explains. "Sometimes I get here at the last minute. Sometimes an hour or two early. You don't want to make yourself a target by being predictable."

"Hetty mentioned that yesterday. She was pretty adamant about it, actually." Nell frowns slightly.

Kensi nods slowly, debating how much to share, before deciding Nell would learn the truth anyway if she worked her long enough. "My former partner was kidnapped because he had too much of a routine. He was held for several months. And when we finally found him, we couldn't save him."

Nell looks slightly stricken at the news. "I didn't know that. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too."

"It was recent," Nell says, surprising Kensi with how intuitive she suddenly is.

"A few months."

Nell takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. For a moment, Kensi wonders if she's said too much too soon and scared Nell off, but the young analyst surprises her when she opens her eyes with a new sense of determination. "I am never going to have the same routine twice."

Kensi stifles a laugh, knowing from experience Nell's plan isn't realistic, but is impressed by her determination. "Good for you."

Nell actually smiles for a moment before sobering. "Detective Deeks is your new partner."

Kensi nods. "Yes." She makes sure to keep her face a mask and not give away any micro-expressions.

"I had limited field training," she says. "But my trainers mentioned avoiding routine. I assume that's a standard part of federal training."

Kensi nods along. "I guess."

"But not necessarily a standard part of training for the LAPD," Nell concludes. "Does he know not to keep a routine?"

Kensi is again impressed by how quickly Nell has made connections. She certainly is a smart girl. "Trust me," she says, biting back a smile, "He definitely does. We've all drilled it into him," she answers, though she knows Callen and Sam's input has been irrelevant. Even before Dom's kidnapping, she had made sure both herself and her husband were living as safely and unpredictably as possible.

00

By the end of the week, Kensi is pretty sure the team is on the verge of a full-fledged mutiny due to excessive paperwork when they finally catch a case.

They are sitting together at their desks, preparing for another long day when a whistle sounds above them.

They all look up, but are surprised to see Nell instead of Eric.

"Only been here a week and already she's taken over whistle duty from Eric?" Sam voices out loud as the team makes their way towards the stairs.

"Eric is not a happy camper," Kensi responds.

"It won't be long until she's folded her tent like all the others," Sam says.

"I'm impressed she's lasted the week," Callen adds.

"Nah, she's gonna make it," Kensi says as they all ascend the stairs. "I can tell."

Sam chuckles. "How can you tell?"

"She's...determined," she answers right before they step into OPs.

Their case of the day is to investigate the murder of Corporal Thomas Porter, a marine working as an administrative clerk out of Camp Pendleton's G-2 office. He was found dead in the parking garage of the Beverly Hills Rodeo Collection. His wallet and phone were untouched and still on his body, but his hand was not. It had been cut off at the wrist. The nature of his death, the fact that his hand is missing and the fact that his job requires top secret clearance and work with classified information, suggest a possible security breach.

With no time to waste, Callen and Sam head to Pendleton to interview other marines Porter had interacted with.

Kensi and Deeks stay back to work the case from the office. While the other half of their team is gone, they help find security footage that shows Corporal Porter had been carrying a briefcase at the mall before he had been killed. He had attached the briefcase to his own wrist using a handcuff, which explained why his hand had been cut off.

When Callen and Sam return from Pendleton, they return with little additional information. A friend of Porter's had mentioned he had a girlfriend, who Eric was looking for now. According to the friend, Porter had been talking about getting engaged.

They show Callen and Sam the security footage and the team discusses the possible uses for the briefcase.

"Could be anything," Sam says.

"Well, the most obvious is classified material from his G-2 unit," Kensi states, knowing they have to start somewhere.

The team nods collectively, though she knows none of them truly believe that's the case, herself included.

"They're halfway through an audit of his unit and so far nothing's come up compromised," Deeks says, letting Callen and Sam in on the progress.

"Could be anything," Sam says again. "Drugs, bearer bonds, securities, jewelry."

"Or the most basic of all," Callen says. "Cash."

She doesn't necessarily think either of her teammates are correct, but their ideas spark a new idea in her head. Jewelry and cash. "Maybe he was there to spend it," she suggests.

Sam meets her gaze for a long moment before catching on and nodding thoughtfully. "His buddy said he was thinking about getting married."

"An engagement ring from Tiffany's?" Deeks adds, also having caught on to her train of thought.

Kensi can't completely bite back her smile. "You have no idea what that little blue box means to a girl."

Callen and Sam are focussed on the video screen, so Deeks barely tries to hold back his smirk as he meets her eyes. "Oh, but I do."

00

 _Kensi had lost interest in the notes she was supposed to be reviewing. Her notepad lay forgotten in her lap as she stared down at her left hand. The fingers of her right hand played with the newest addition to her left ring finger._

 _The ring was small and simple, but she absolutely loved it. The diamond may not be large in karats, but it was gorgeous and round and sparkled even in low lights. The band was shiny and felt cool and comforting against her fingers._

 _Her notepad slipped off her lap in her distraction. She startled slightly when it hit the floor with a muffled thud. She shook her head and reached down for it, but Deeks got there first. His fingers closed around the edges of the notebook and he lifted it off the floor._

 _"Hey," she murmured, turning to face her...fiancé as he passed the notepad back into her care. "I didn't hear you come in."_

 _"You seemed a little distracted," he said lightly. He offered her a warm smile, glancing at her left hand and then back to her eyes. His own eyes sparkled with the same happiness she was feeling._

 _She felt her cheeks heat, somewhat embarrassed at being caught so completely spaced out. "Maybe a little," she admitted anyway._

 _He chuckled and moved to sit next to her on the couch._

 _She leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder and allowing him to take her left hand into his care. "I'm really happy, Marty."_

 _"Me, too, Kens." He squeezed her hand and then threaded their fingers together and held them up. Together they stared at the symbol of commitment taking up residence on her fourth finger._

 _"I really like the ring," she said, turning her face partially into his shoulder to bury her smile against him._

 _"I'm glad you like it." He continued to hold their joined hands up, but sighed slightly. "I'm sorry it's small," he added quietly._

 _She pulled her hand away from his and clutched it to her chest, suddenly protective. "It's perfect, Marty," she insisted._

 _He smiled at her, genuine and not indulging, and clearly grateful that she did actually like the ring. "I just wish I could afford more," he tried to explain. "I want..."_

 _"Stop," she told him gently. "We have a good life. And we will continue to have a good life. I don't need or want_ more _."_

 _"You're kind of awesome, you know that?"_

 _She smiled. "I try." She sobered. "But seriously, Marty. We have a roof over our heads, we have food and we have a future. That's..." She paused for a moment as her emotions threatened to overtake her, but she managed to swallow them down. "That's more than I had a few years ago."_

 _"Kens," he murmured, hooking his arm around her and pulling her close again._

 _She wrapped her arms around his waist and allowed herself to be held. "I don't need more," she repeated, no bite in her tone. "I just need this. This and you."_

 _"I need you, too," he echoed._

 _"And this ring," she added._

 _He laughed, which quickly had her laughing with him._

 _"You_ need _it, huh?"_

 _She nodded. "I've grown attached to it."_

 _He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "I've grown attached to you."_

00

An hour after their brainstorming session with Callen and Sam, Kensi and Deeks walk into Easy Mart, looking to find Corporal Porter's girlfriend, Diane. Eric had confirmed this is where she works and that the schedule shows she is currently working.

They wander together through the store until Deeks nudges her gently. "Kens."

She glances at him and then in the direction he's motioning. And then her heart clenches in sympathy.

A young woman, who can only be Diane, is standing bravely near the back of the store, her eyes bloodshot and puffy, her arms wrapped around her middle, probably trying to comfort herself. But she's upright and out in the world. And that's more than Kensi thinks she'd be capable of in a similar situation.

"Poor girl," Kensi whispers.

Deeks says nothing, but reaches for her hand and squeezes tightly for a long moment. Kensi's not sure if the contact is for herself or for him. Probably both. She squeezes back before releasing his hand and approaching Diane.

"Diane?" She says gently, getting the girl's attention.

Diane startles slightly, but quickly covers for it. She stands upright and tries to offer a smile, though it falls flat. "Hi, can I help you find something?"

Kensi pulls out her badge, knowing Deeks is behind her. "Is there anywhere we can talk?" She asks quietly.

Diane hesitates for a moment, and Kensi wonders if the younger woman is going to cry, but she recovers well. "Look, if I leave the floor they're going to dock my pay. And since Tom and I weren't married yet, the bereavement leave doesn't apply." She pauses and sniffs, but pushes on. "Have you found out who did this?"

"Not yet," Kensi says. "We were hoping you could help us out."

The door to the back room opens behind Diane and an older, stern looking woman steps out. Diane clearly hears the noise because she turns to look and then turns back. "That's my supervisor."

Kensi glances at her husband. "Marty," she says, catching his attention. She's been getting better at calling him Deeks, but it's just the two of them, interviewing a young woman whose just lost the love of her life, so Kensi decides she can get away with calling her husband by his first name. "Weren't you saying you always wanted a Crockpot?"

"Uh... what?"

She cocks her head and narrows her eyes at him.

"Oh, a Crockpot. Yeah, I've always wanted...one of those," he says, stepping away from them and heading to intercept the supervisor.

Kensi bites back a smile as she turns back to the grieving girl. "Sorry about that."

"No, I appreciate it."

"I'll try to make this quick," Kensi says. "But from what we hear, you knew Tom the best, so you should be our best source of information."

She chooses her words with a purpose and she's rewarded with a hint of a smile. "Okay."

"Was Tom in any sort of trouble?"

"Not that I knew of. He was a really great guy."

"I'm sure he was," Kensi nods. "But someone killed him and..." She trails off and hesitates for a moment before continuing. "They did that for a reason, Diane."

"When he came back from his tour in Iraq, he was different," Diane explains.

"Different how?" Kensi asks, knowing from experience with friends sometimes soldiers came back injured or mentally scarred.

"Before he deployed, he was...simple. We were simple. But when he came back, all he could talk about was sports cars and plasma TVs and expensive watches..." She trails off, but Kensi understands.

"Had you talked at all about getting married?" She asks.

Diane looks both sad and happy at the same time. "Yeah," she responds, her voice a little hoarse. "We were looking at rings." She looks down at her left hand. "I even found one. It was just a simple band...with a tiny diamond, but...I really loved it." She pauses for a moment. "But Tom said it wasn't big enough."

Kensi sighs and reaches to grasp the younger woman's forearm. "Guys worry about the wrong things sometimes," she says from experience. "But I know he only wanted to make you happy."

00

 _Kensi startled awake at the sound of the front door opening. She cracked open her eyes and sighed at the sight of her husband's familiar form as he stepped into the small apartment they shared and turned to shut the door behind him. She closed her eyes and half-listened as he shuffled about by the door, removing his shoes and jacket, and then made his way towards her._

 _He sat by her hip where she was laying on the couch, cuddled under a well-used blanket._

 _"You know there's a perfectly good bed right down the hall," he murmured, running his fingers through her hair._

 _"Mm, wanted to wait up for you."_

 _He chuckled. "You failed."_

 _She swiped at him half-heartedly, which only made him laugh again. "What time is it?"_

 _"Almost three."_

 _Kensi groaned and sat up. Deeks shifted so they were sitting side by side. She leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder. "Why are you home so late?"_

 _"Priority case," Deeks said, "Had to work through all the leads."_

 _"You've been late all week. You must be exhausted."_

 _He sighed and leaned into her. "I'm definitely getting there. But we're making progress on the case. And I'm not giving them any reason to renege on my vacation request for next week."_

 _She smiled at the reminder. "Five years."_

 _He reached for her left hand and threaded their fingers together. "I kind of can't believe it."_

 _"That we made it this far?" She raised an eyebrow._

 _He turned his head and pressed a kiss to the side of her head. "No. I can't believe it's been five years already. It feels like just yesterday that you agreed to marry me."_

 _Kensi smiled softly as she stared down at their joined hands. "Best decision I ever made."_

 _"Me, too." He was quiet for a long moment and then he reached forward with his free hand and gently brushed the tip of his index finger across the top of her rings. "Five years," he murmured. He held up their joined hands. "Things are different now," he said carefully._

 _"Different?"_

 _"I know you said...When you knew it was all I could afford, you said you loved the ring. But it's been more than five years since then. We're not in school anymore. We're making good money. Maybe for our anniversary, we could...get something nicer."_

 _She waited for him to finish speaking before tugging her hand away from his. "No."_

 _"I looked into it," he said quickly before she could say anything more. "We can design something, and use the diamond you have as part of it so that-"_

 _"No," she said again. She turned to face him on the couch, clutched her left hand with her right, protective. "I don't want another ring or a different ring or a bigger ring. I want_ this _ring."_

 _His gaze softened. "I'm just trying to..."_

 _"I know," she said softly. "But you can stop, okay? Let's make this the last time we have this conversation."_

 _He stared at her for a long moment, considering._

 _She offered him a smile. "I love you, Marty Deeks. I've loved you since I was eighteen. And I love this ring because you gave it to me when you asked me to spend the rest of my life with you. It's part of our history. It's...one of those really, really good memories. I'm_ proud _of this ring. I don't want another one."_

 _He smiled at her words. "It is a really good memory."_

 _She reached for his hand. "You may not have been able to give me a big, fancy ring, Marty. But you gave me everything I wanted. You gave me love and support and stability. That means so much more."_

00

The information Kensi and Deeks obtained from Corporal Porter's girlfriend, that Porter was suddenly obsessed with expensive things, falls in line with information Callen and Sam found in their interviews. It seems Corporal Porter was trying to sell something - illegally, of course - at the jewelry section of the mall. From his deployment history, the team believes he found, and then smuggled home, an Iraqi antiquity.

They narrow down the jewelry stores to find one run by an Iraqi born jeweller who they figure would be the most likely to recognize and be interested in such an artifact.

"It's a good theory," Sam says. "But it's just a theory."

Kensi nods. "We don't actually know if the owner is dirty."

"We have to get close to the jeweller," Sam says. "Feel out his interest in old school jewelry."

"We can do that fairly easily," Deeks says. "One of us goes in and offers to sell him something. We know he's not looking to buy, but he should take offense to the offer. Either he bites or he doesn't. Simple."

Callen hedges a nod. "Right direction, but I'm thinking something a little more discreet." He exchanges a glance with his partner.

Sam nods. "We need to set him up to see his reaction."

Callen nods his agreement. "Sam's right. If he's dirty, we don't want to show our cards yet. Kensi, you go in looking to buy something. I'm sure Hetty can borrow us something for you to be wearing when you go in."

"No need to borrow anything, Mr. Callen. I have just the thing," Hetty says suddenly, surprising the team when she appears out of nowhere. "Also, I agree with your plan to be discreet to gauge the jewelry store owner's reaction, only I don't think Ms. Blye should go in alone. I think she should take her new partner for backup."

Callen nods and exchanges a glance with his partner, before turning to Kensi and Deeks, smirking. Beside him, Sam is somewhat less amused, but still finding some humour in the situation.

"What do you think, Sam?" Callen addresses his partner while still looking between Kensi and Deeks. "Think these two are ready to take that next big step?"

Sam sighs and crosses his arms over his chest. Kensi narrows her eyes, shooting modified glares back at both Callen and Sam, knowing she and Deeks can handle a simple assignment like going into a jewelry store to get a reaction out of the owner.

But then Sam smirks, just like his partner. "I don't know, G. Buying an engagement ring is a big step. I'm not sure these two are ready." Then he huffs a laugh. "And I'm certain Deeks cannot handle a woman like Kensi."

"I don't think that's what Hetty meant," Kensi says, probably too loudly, but the sudden roaring in her ears is more than a little distracting. She glances at her boss for support, but Hetty is smiling in that small, conspiratorial way that confirms this was exactly the train of thought she had started for Callen and Sam.

Only three feet to her right, Deeks speaks at practically the same time as her. But he's not questioning the assignment like her. He mirrors Sam, arms crossed over his chest. "I could absolutely handle being with a woman like Kensi," he argues.

Sam scoffs. "She'd eat you alive."

Deeks takes half a step forward, finger pointed upwards like he's about to make a point, but Hetty stops him before he can say a word.

"Mr. Deeks, Ms. Blye, why don't you follow me to my office and we can find you something to wear for this assignment, hmm?"

Deeks closes his mouth and glares at Sam for a long moment. Kensi watches on, not sure if her husband is going to say something or not.

Not sure if her marriage is about to come out or not.

And not sure if she cares or not.

"Okay," Deeks says after a long moment, dragging his focus from Sam to turn towards Hetty. His shoulders are tense, but he offers the operation's manager a small smile and a nod.

When Hetty turns for her desk, Deeks follows behind. Kensi glances at Callen and Sam. Callen looks like he's already forgotten about the not-quite-an-incident that has just gone down, but Sam gives her a looks that says 'can you believe that guy?'

She glances away from him and shakes her head in disapproval before turning and following Hetty and Deeks.

Hetty leaves the two of them for a moment while she steps further into her private area to gather a few things. Kensi's pretty certain she doesn't need this much time to find anything, but she's grateful Hetty is giving them a moment.

"You good?" She asks quietly.

Deeks sighs and offers her a small smile. "Yeah."

She feels herself frown, knowing he's still tense. She wants to touch him; to hug him and kiss him and press into his chest and let him hold her until he stops looking so unhappy. But they're far too exposed in the open area. So, she goes for the next best thing. "I love you."

His smile grows.

"I'm sorry Sam is..." She shakes her head. "I don't know why he's acting like this. I can talk to him. Or we can just...tell him. If he knows who you are to me, he should stop...saying those things to you."

Deeks shakes his head. "I don't want him nice to me just because I'm your husband." He shrugs. "If he wants to act like an ass, let him act like an ass. I can handle it." He smiles at her again. "I'd still rather work with him if it means I get to work with you."

She smiles back. "It really upset you; what he said."

He runs a hand through his hair. "He can take issue with _me_ all he wants. But I cannot accept issues with _us_."

She nods. "His opinion doesn't matter. You're the best thing that ever happened to me."

He lifts his elbow so that his nudges against hers. "Ditto."

Hetty makes her way back to them. She doesn't say a word about their muffled conversation or the amount of time she has been gone. She places a couple boxes down on her desk before lifting a watch up for them to see.

"This the Rolex M-Series. Milgause green, Faraday cage construction, 40 millimeter polished steel bezel. Rumoured to become the most collected Rolex ever." She holds it out to Deeks.

Deeks gently take the fancy watch. "Mmm-hmm," he murmurs, staring down at the watch as he takes in its many features. "Does it shoot poisonous gas or anything cool?"

Hetty narrows her eyes as she stares up at him.

Deeks manages to mostly bite back his smirk.

"You scratch it, you buy it," Hetty warns.

Kensi laughs and nudges her husband with her elbow. "Don't scratch it. I'm certain we cannot afford that."

He laughs.

Even Hetty cracks a smile.

"And Ms. Blye," Hetty starts, getting back to business, "It's your wrist that hopefully makes the biggest impression on our jeweller." She lifts a very fancy looking box and opens it to show them a very fancy, very old and very expensive looking bracelet. "From Ancient Babylonia. Displayed in Baghdad's National Museum until the US invasion.

"How did you-" Deeks says, while at the same time Kensi says, "Did you-"

They both cut themselves off, glance at each other, and stay silent. Kensi has long since known not to ask Hetty about these things, and Deeks is a fast learner.

00

The two sets of partners drive to the jewellery store in separate cars. Kensi and Deeks allow Callen and Sam to park across the street and settle for a few minutes before they make their way down the street towards the store.

"So, we're supposed to be a wealthy couple looking for an engagement ring," Deeks remarks.

She nods. "And expensive one."

He smirks at her. "And you said I'd never be allowed to buy you a fancier ring."

Despite the fact that Callen and Sam are watching their approach to the store, Kensi elbows him.

He chuckles and then reaches for her hand.

Elbowing him in front of the team is one thing, but holding his hand is another. She pulls her hand from his. "What are you doing? Callen and Sam are watching!" She hisses.

He huffs. "We're supposed to be playing an imminently-engaged couple. We should be holding hands."

"But..." She trails off, not sure what the expectation should be. If she was doing this assignment with someone else, would they hold hands? Would she not be over thinking it? Is she over thinking it now? She glances to her left as they cross the street towards the store. Deeks is focussed on the store front, but his expression is somewhat dour.

Kensi takes a breath and tries to calm her nerves. It's so ingrained in her to hide her relationship status from her team. But her husband is not used to hiding his marriage at work. She knows he's been okay with it so far, but also knows he's not having a good afternoon. And he is more important to her than her team. She wants the team to find out about their marriage in a thought out and planned way, but she decides if they find out due to a more impulsive action between Kensi and Deeks, it's not the end of the world. She also knows in her heart that her husband's feelings are more important to her.

Knowing they are in full view of Callen and Sam, she bridges the gap between herself and Deeks, and closes her hand around his.

He shoots her a surprised look as they reach the door to the jewelry store, and pauses for just a moment, as if asking if she is sure.

She squeezes his hand in response.

He smiles openly at her, his eyes sparkling, and squeezes her hand back. Then he opens the door, ushers her in first, and falls into character of the rich boyfriend looking to buy a ring for his high maintenance girlfriend.

The door dings as they walk into the jewellery store together. It's very fancy and Kensi is pretty sure in real life they wouldn't be able to afford a thing in the store.

The owner - and suspect - walks out of the back room. He offers them a welcoming smile. "Good afternoon. How can I help you?"

"We are looking for an engagement ring," Deeks says smoothly.

"Of course," the jeweller says.

"A big one," Kensi adds, playing her role of the high maintenance girlfriend who wants the ring more than she wants the man who comes with it.

Beside her, Deeks huffs a laugh. "She told me size doesn't matter."

Kensi pastes a smile onto her face, knowing he's joking with her, and then subtly elbows her partner when the jeweller's attention is downward on a tray of rings.

He flinches ever so slightly, and then retaliates by threading their fingers together so she can't get near him with her elbow again.

The jeweller lays down the tray of engagement rings and Kensi is momentarily overwhelmed. She keeps the smile pasted to her face as she stares down at the many, many ridiculously large rings as she tries to decide how her alias would choose one. In the end, she goes for the biggest one.

"Oh, my God, look at that one," she says, pointing with her free hand, making sure to give the jeweller a fleeting view of the bracelet on her wrist.

"It's so beautiful, my sweet," Deeks says, dropping her hand to wrap his arm around her waist.

She lifts her foot and presses the heel of her boot down onto his toe.

He flinches , but pulls her closer, digging his fingers into the side of her ribs where he knows she's ticklish.

She squirms slightly, but not too obviously, as she holds out her left hand for the jeweller.

"Excellent choice," he says. "A beautiful diamond for a beautiful woman."

The jeweller pauses for a moment before putting the ring onto her finger, and Kensi knows he is taking the opportunity to get a better look at the bracelet. "That's an interesting bracelet," he says, having lost interest in selling them an engagement ring. "Do you mind if I ask you where you got it?"

"Oh, it was a gift," Kensi says, still playing oblivious.

"From who?" He asks, bordering on demanding.

"A friend," she says.

His jaw tightens and he looks angry. "I can't help you," he says. "You must leave."

Kensi and Deeks quickly leave the store. She motions to Callen and Sam as they make their way over a store front as to not be in view of the jeweller.

"What were you doing in there?" She asks Deeks.

"What was I doing? What were you doing? I was standing up for myself."

"You tickled me."

"You stood on my foot."

"You called me _my sweet_."

"I was trying to make it look convincing."

She pulls her cell phone from her purse and places a call to Callen. "Who the hell says _my sweet_?"

"It's a term of endearment," he counters.

"From like 1945," she counters back.

"What's from 1945?" Callen asks as he picks up the other end of the call.

She rolls her eyes. "I was talking to Deeks."

"But you called me."

"You picked up sooner than I expected."

"Then you shouldn't have called so soon," Callen lobs back at her, and she can hear the humour in his tone.

"What is wrong with everyone today?" She exclaims.

Deeks shoots her an amused look. "Sometimes if _everyone_ around you is acting weird, it's actually you that's acting weird."

She glares at him, making him smirk back at her.

"Callen, we were definitely right to suspect him. He's definitely sketchy."

"Are we talking about the jeweller or your new partner?"

She makes eye contact with Callen from where he's sitting in the car with Sam. She shoots him a half glare, but he just smirks back, amused with himself.

Beside her, Deeks cannot hear the conversation, but is also not helping the cause. He rocks back on his heels, still talking to her. "I think we're all being normal. But Princess Kensi doesn't think she's acting weird."

She looks back to Callen and shrugs. "Both."

Callen laughs and she hangs up.

She walks away from her partner/husband and heads for the car without a word.

"Princess? Princess!" He calls as he hurries to catch up.

She's trying to ignore him, but can't quite not laugh. He's laughing too when he catches up and matches stride with her.

"You're an idiot," she tells him.

He bumps her hip with his. "Come on; tell me that wasn't fun?"

She turns her head and smiles at him. He practically beams back at her and she can't help but feel her smile grow larger. "It was fun," she admits. She loves her job, and has loved her job for some time. But it's been distinctly more fun since he's joined the team.

They reach the car and he separate to get in. She settles into the driver's seat as he does so in the passenger seat. After just a few weeks, they're already starting to settle into this whole partnership thing.

The thought causes her to pause. She drops her hand from the ignition before turning the key and turns to stare at him for a long moment. Because for a few minutes, she'd had fun with her partner.

Her partner.

She exhales.

Deeks cocks his head and stares at her. "You good?"

She meets his eyes and considers his question for a long moment before responding. "Yeah, I'm good."

00

As the case moves forward, the evidence continues to stack up perfectly against the jeweller.

Too perfectly, in fact.

Turns out, he's being framed. The actual murderer is a friend of Corporal Porter's who killed him for the money. Plain and simple and disgusting.

Callen and Sam take of the arrest, with only a minor car chase.

Kensi and Deeks tie up loose ends back at the Mission.

When the senior partners return, they're already grumbling about returning to paperwork.

"So, didn't find a ring you liked?" Sam questions, already smirking.

Kensi shoots him a look, but he's not looking at her. She follows his gaze to Deeks and watches as her husband takes a deep breath and sends Sam back a bright smile.

"Nope. But I did purchase a very nice Crockpot today."

Kensi snorts a laugh, and then laughs even harder at the confused look on Sam's face.

"Those rings were seriously ridiculous anyway," Kensi adds.

Deeks nods his agreement. "The ring this one picked out was as big as a golf ball."

Kensi rolls her eyes. "It wasn't that big. But it was close."

"Too big?" Deeks asks.

She nods, knowing she's flirting the line with him when she says, "Not my style. I much prefer simple and understated."

Callen nods. "Well, we'll keep that in mind for next time." He motions to both Kensi and Deeks. "You two did well today. It's not easy to go under as a couple when you're new to working together, but you sold it well."

Sam nods his agreement, his words genuine when he adds, "It looked natural."

Kensi feels her heart stutter ever so slightly, but manages a calming breath and a tight smile. "Thanks."

Deeks nods his own appreciation at the comments.

Hetty appears, preventing any further words between the team. She passes appreciation on from Director Vance and speaks about the case.

Kensi and Deeks take the opportunity to exchange a look and a smile. Because of course them playing a couple would look natural. Sadly, the few seconds where they walked across the street towards the jewellery store together holding hands, within view of Callen and Sam, was the only time all day Kensi wasn't pretending or hiding. And in that moment, she hadn't cared if the team realized what they were really seeing.

They had clearly written off their holding hands as part of their cover and nothing more.

Kensi's not sure if she's happy about that or not.

"Lastly," Hetty says as she begins to wrap up, "Beverly Hills PD discovered this among Corporal Porter's belongings." She holds out a small, black box to Kensi. "I assured them we'd know what to do with it."

Kensi takes the box, knowing what's in it without needing to open it. "I'll make sure his girlfriend gets it," she says, before cracking open the box to look at the engagement ring.

She's not sure if she's surprised or not when it's not a big, flashy engagement ring. In fact, she'd bet it's exactly the small, simple band his girlfriend had wanted.

"That closer to your style?" Callen asks.

She allows herself a small smile as she hedges a nod. "Close." She turns the box so the boys can see.

"Nice," Deeks comments. He's smiling knowingly at her. He's long since accepted now that she loves her ring and wants no others, but she's certain this case will only help to cement that understanding. She's happy that she gets to share these moments and lessons in life with him now.

Sam shrugs. "Not bad." He nods to Kensi. "What would you do if someone actually offered you one of those?"

She purses her lips as she looks down at the ring - so similar to the one she has - and then exchanges a quick, knowing glance with the man who gave it to her. She looks back to Sam and smirks. "Who says I've never been offered one before?"

Sam laughs out loud, but quickly cuts himself off and narrows his eyes as he surveys her.

She raises an eyebrow, challenging him to challenge her. She can tell that he can't tell if she's joking or not.

"It better not have been that guy you were seeing last year."

Callen nods his agreement. "The one who took you to the museum on your first date."

Kensi has to bite back a laugh as Deeks's expression grows suspicious as he quickly realizes she had relayed actual stories of their dates and outings to the team when pretending to be dating. She also realizes herself that it's been a long time since she's relayed any dating stories and wonders if she should start again. It'll be weird with Deeks right there. But if they don't disclose their marriage soon, Callen and Sam will eventually begin to ask about her private life.

She says nothing and simply shrugs.

"It was that law student, wasn't it?" Sam continues, unhindered by her lack of response.

Callen continues to nod along with his partner, both thinking they're having fun at her expense, and not realizing how easily she could turn the tables on them. "The one that taught you legal lingo."

"Reason enough to say no," Sam adds.

Kensi pastes a sweet smile to her face and meets Callen's eyes and then Sam's. "One of these days, guys, I am going to blow your minds."


	31. Flashback - October 2001 to April 2002

_**AN: Things are finally getting better at home...sort of. Might be a temporary reprieve, we'll see. Thank you so much for all the reviews/PMs with support! I haven't had time to respond, but I've appreciated every one and it's amazing knowing that in such an electronic world (and with our only connection being on line) that people still care and want to reach out. And after the events of the last week, this is as important as ever.**_

 _ **This chapter is another series of only flashbacks, looking at Deeks and Kensi's second school year together. The next chapter (32) will return to normal following of the series (and should be up soonish, it's half finished). I'm glad the previous chapter (30) was enjoyed. I will get around to responding to reviews as soon as I have time. I had hoped the last line was a little too on the nose, but I wanted it to lead into this chapter.**_

* * *

~October 2001~

A week before Halloween, they manage to find time to have dinner with Mindy and Jeff. The other couple is just past the six month mark now in their blossoming relationship and Deeks has high hopes that it'll work out. Having graduated with him in April, Jeff is currently enrolled in a Masters program.

With Kensi and Mindy in their second year, Deeks in law school, Jeff in graduate school, and all four of them holding part time jobs, it definitely wasn't easy to find a time for all four friends to get together. They squeeze into a booth in an off campus pub, Kensi and Deeks on one side, and Mindy and Jeff on the other side.

"Finally," Jeff says with a half sigh, half laugh.

Deeks nods. "I can't believe it took us almost two months just to grab a bite to eat."

"Grad school sucks, man," Jeff says.

"So does law school."

Beside him, Kensi laughs. "Second year's not too bad."

Mindy lifts her coke and clinks it against Kensi's. "Agreed."

Deeks hooks an arm around his girlfriend. "You just wait."

Kensi shrugs. "For what? I'm not going to law school."

He laughs. Jeff joins him. "She's got a point, man. What were you thinking?"

"Hey. It's only three years."

"Yeah, three years of your life you can never get back."

Deeks waved a hand at his friend. "Better than studying one ridiculous theory for two years that no one cares about."

Jeff shrugs and takes a swig of his beer. "But I can always change my line of research. When you're done, you're still a lawyer."

"That's the point."

"And that, my friend, is the worst part."

Kensi laughs out loud at their banter, despite the fact that she tries to muffle the sound by burying her face into his shoulder. He turns his head and shoots her a look.

She stretches up and pecks him on the lips. "I'm proud of you," she tells him. "And you're going to be an awesome lawyer."

"You just would never want to be a lawyer," Mindy surmises before Deeks can say a word.

Kensi shrugs. "Pretty much."

Deeks rolls his eyes in good nature and closes his arm around his girlfriend again. "Well, I think sociology is boring," he jokes to Mindy.

"Me, too," she responds. "I switched majors again."

"Of course you did," Deeks and Kensi say together.

"Psychology now. Most of the pre-reqs were the same, so I'll still graduate on time."

"How many majors is that now?" Kensi asks.

"Shut up," Mindy responds. "Without you as my roommate anymore, I don't have anyone to keep me in line. And Marty's right. Sociology was boring."

"Then...I'm happy for you?" Kensi says with a laugh.

Her former roommate rolls her eyes in good nature. "Some of us take life a little less seriously, you know. It's important to try new things, make mistakes, have fun."

"She knows all about making mistakes," Jeff quips before Kensi can say a word. He motions towards Deeks with a smirk.

"Hey," Deeks exclaims with mock outrage, "I am a catch."

Kensi pats him on the knee. "Of course you are." She turns her attention back to their friends. "Though I will be breaking up with him by the end of the week."

Deeks rolls his eyes as Mindy and Jeff shoot questioning looks their ways.

"He's making us wear matching costumes to the Halloween party next week," Kensi exclaims.

"First of all, our costumes are awesome," he starts, "And second, you agreed to let me choose."

"I didn't agree-"

"You lost the bet," he corrects with a smirk.

She narrows her eyes and stares him down. He flinches slightly, but holds his ground for as long as he can. "I love you," he finally says, effectively breaking her concentration and causing her lips to curl upwards. Across the table from them, their friends laugh at their antics. He hooks his arm around her waist and presses a kiss to her temple. He's happy.

00

~October 31, 2001 ( _excerpt_ _from chapter 11)_ ~

"It's creepy, right?" She asks her boyfriend as she watches the group of frat boys in an array of really bad costumes flutter around the party in smaller groups. She keeps her back to a wall so they can't sneak up on her.

Marty nods his agreement as he presses a glass of beer into her hand. "I suggest you drink."

She takes the glass with a nod of thanks, her eyes still on the - furry? - young men. "What are they even supposed to be?"

He sighs and swings an arm around her waist. "A rat pack."

"You mean The Rat Pack."

He chuckles. "I don't think they know the difference..."

She laughs, and then makes a face and presses closer to Marty as two of the guys walk by too close. One is wearing fuzzy pants, no shirt (though his substantial chest hair makes her cringe...and oh, God, the back hair!) and brown, fuzzy gloves with fake claws. The other has a full body suit that covers all but his face. And he's even added a fake nose.

Deeks nudges her. "Like I said; drink."

She takes a long swig in response. "I seriously think I'm scarred for life."

He laughs. "You've been saying that all week."

"Yeah, well, now it's not just because you made us wear matching costumes, Waldo."

"Our costumes are awesome, Wenda," He retorts immediately. "If we were anything else, the creepy rat pack would be able to find us." He smiles proudly at his joke.

Kensi sighs, knowing he's bested her. When she glances at him, he's smirking at her, his eyes sparkling. She can't help but smile back. "You think you're funny?"

"I think you think I'm funny."

00

~November 2001~

Deeks sits back on the wooden booth and shifts side to side on his seat bones, trying to regain some feeling in his ass, which is going progressively numb on the hard seat. Despite the uncomfortable seating, however, it's been nice to catch up with his buddies.

Jeff hasn't shown up yet, and they're not sure whether to expect him. He spends many a late night in his research lab doing stuff none of them have ever been able to understand.

Ryan is there, still as single as ever. He's sitting across from Deeks in the booth, on the outside, with the best vantage point of the rest of the bar. Deeks figures he's spent half his time paying attention to the conversation and half his time distracted by the girls in the bar.

Trey is beside Ryan, rolling his eyes at his best friend's antics.

"How you doin'?" Ryan asks a girl as she walks by their table. The girl scoffs and keeps walking. Ryan makes a face and turns back to the guys.

"Harsh," Deeks offers.

"Seriously, dude, that line does not work. And I am cutting you off from watching that show."

"I don't watch it that much."

"He watches it all the time," Trey says, addressing Deeks.

Deeks smirks at his friends. "It's so nice you guys decided to keep being roommates after you graduated."

"The second I'm making real money, I'm out of there," Trey says.

"Come on, man, you know your life isn't complete without me," Ryan counters.

Deeks laughs. "Come to think of it, you two do remind me of Joey and Chandler..."

Ryan smiles at that.

Trey glares at him. "I swear to God, Marty..."

Deeks holds up his hands, still laughing. "Won't say it again."

Ryan huffs at his roommate and then turns his attention back to Deeks. "How is Kensi?"

"Good." Deeks nods. "Working tonight."

"You're lucky, man," Ryan says. "She seems like a hell of a girl."

"Oh, she is."

"You've been together, what, two years now?" Trey asks.

"Just a little over one year," Deeks corrects.

Trey frowns. "You sure? Seems like she's been around longer."

"Pretty sure."

He shakes his head. "I guess it just feels like longer. We like her. And we like you with her."

Deeks raises an eyebrow.

"You're happy, man," Ryan adds. "It's nice to see."

00

~December 2001~

The morning of December first, Kensi wakes early. She's restless and doesn't want to wake the warm body sleeping next to her, knowing he got home late the night before, so she slips from the bed. She wraps the blanket that lives on the back of the couch around her shoulders and curls herself onto the window ledge.

The weather outside is dreary, and makes her feel cold. She pulls the blanket tighter around herself.

She hates December. Five years ago, her mother's abandonment of herself and her father for another man was still fresh and painful in her chest. She and her father had spent the holidays together, but she hadn't enjoyed them much. She recalls thinking 'next year will be better.'

Of course, the following year, she'd lost her father just days before Christmas Day.

Kensi sighs and leans back against the wall behind her. She turns her head and surveys the small apartment she now calls home, knowing it's only home because of the man she shares it with. Their things mingle together so easily. And across the room, she can see the display cabinet he got for her, where all the items she's collected since childhood now call home. It makes her feel stronger that he somehow understands her need to have these ridiculous items close. And it makes her happy that his things are displayed alongside.

On the middle shelf, between her jelly bracelets and his plastic cobra, is the train she had given him as a graduation present. Their lives, mixing together, but also building something new.

She likes that.

The previous holiday season started off difficult for her. But this one feels different. She just can't quite put her finger on it yet.

Across the room, Marty stirs in the bed. She watches him reach across the bed for her and pat the empty sheets more times than necessary before finally realizing she really isn't there beside him. "Kens?" He mumbles sleepily.

"I'm here," she calls softly. "Go back to sleep."

He sits up and blinks sleepily at her. "You okay?"

"I'm fine. Go back to sleep," she says again.

He stares at her for a long moment through half open eyes. Then he shifts and for a moment she thinks he's laying back down, but then he swings his legs out of bed and stands. She watches as he pads over to her, wearing boxers and a crinkled tee shirt. His hair is as wild as it usually is first thing in the morning.

He comes to a stop by her side, pressing his still-warm chest against her shoulder and bending to press a kiss to the top of her head. "I feel like if you were really fine, you wouldn't be over here by yourself so early in the morning."

"It's after six," she points out.

"It's also Saturday," he counters.

She sighs. "I'm okay, Marty. I'm just...thinking."

"It's December," he surmises.

She says nothing for a long moment. It shouldn't really surprise her how well he can read her, how well he knows her. "Yeah."

He sighs. "I'm here for you, Kens. And I will do whatever you need from me."

She leans into him. "Thank you."

He kisses her head again and then wraps his arms around her shoulders. And all at once, she feels warm.

"I don't want this month to be a sore spot for the rest of my life," she tells him.

He rests his chin on her head. "Then don't let it be." He hesitates for a moment before adding, "Your dad loved you. He'd want you to be okay, you know?"

She feels her eyes water at the reminder. She may not have been enough for her mother, but her dad really loved her, and only death could keep him away from her. "He did love me," she echoes his words. "And he would want me to be okay." She smiles through her tears. "He'd be happy that I'm happy."

"Yeah?"

She shifts in his arms, forcing him to release her, wanting to meet his eyes. "He'd really like you, Marty."

His eyes light up. "Really?"

She nods. "Really. I mean, he was a lifelong marine, so he'd probably have some things to say about the hair..." She reaches up and runs her fingers through her boyfriend's shaggy locks. "But he'd see how good of a man you are. And he'd see how happy you make me."

He swallows hard. "Thank you," he says, his voice suddenly thick with emotion. "Sharing him with me, knowing he'd approve...that means so much."

She reaches for his hand and smiles when he squeezes hers. Then she stands and leans into him. "I like being able to share with you, Marty." She reaches up on her tiptoes to peck him on the lips and then tugs him towards their bed.

He follows her willingly. Together, they slide under the covers and curl up together.

Kensi rests her cheek on his shoulder and sighs. She realizes now that that feeling she couldn't decipher earlier is hope.

Hope, and healing.

00

~December 2001 ( _tag to flashback from chapter 22)_ ~

Deeks is more asleep than awake, warm and content and comfortable. His girlfriend is laying next to him, her body soft and pliant and presumably lost in dreamland. The last few weeks have been better than he's expected. She misses her father, but she's been sharing memories with him, _sharing her father with him_ , and that's helped them both to heal in ways he couldn't have foreseen.

He wants so much to take away her pain, but knows the best he can offer is sharing the pain with her. He'd set out to do so, but with every bad memory, she has a hundred good ones. He'd watched her come closer to peace with her father's loss as he developed a better and better picture of the man who raised the woman he loves. And with that picture, he gained a sense of what it takes to be a good father.

Beside him, she rolls, bringing him closer to wakefulness. He's not awake enough to form words, but he tries. They come out as mumbled string of syllables. He's not awake enough to try again, so he slings his arm around her waist and pulls her close.

Her body melds against his. She's warm and soft and he can feel her exhales against his collar bone. He likes this a lot. He sighs and allows his mind to drift, not quite awake and not quite asleep.

He doesn't know how much time has passed when she shifts slightly in his arms, pulling herself closer. She presses a kiss to his clavicle.

He smiles sleepily, just a little more awake now.

And then she whispers, "I'm done, Marty," and he finds himself a whole lot more awake.

She doesn't say anything more, and he realizes she probably thinks he's asleep.

Well, he sure as hell can't sleep now. He loves his girlfriend. He loved her when she started opening up more and more the last few weeks and months. He loved her when they adjusted to living together, even when it was hard. He loved her when she agreed to move in with him, and he loved her a few months before that when she wasn't ready. He loved her when they started sleeping together, and before that when she was nervous to take that step. Hell, he's pretty sure he loved her last Christmas when she showed up so uncertain to his door.

He's had a plan for his life since the day he started school, as has she. And even with their age difference, with him being in law school, they are set to graduate together. He's allowed himself to think, not that he's admitted it to her yet, that they would graduate together, build their life together, get married.

Because Marty Deeks already knew he was done.

But this changes things. Three words from his sleepy girlfriend, and he's imaging her as his wife much sooner than he had expected.

Suddenly, he's doing the math and trying to decide how much he can afford to spend on an engagement ring.

He feels his heart rate increase and takes a deep breath to calm himself. He doesn't need to figure everything out right now. He has plenty of time. They're only going to do this once, so he's going to make sure he does it right.

He tightens his arms around his sleeping girlfriend and presses his lips to her forehead. "I'm done, too."

00

~ Early January 2002~

 _"...five...four...three...two...one! Happy New Year!"_

Kensi counts down the last seconds of 2001 with her friends and then cheers in 2002. Beside her, Marty has a noise maker he picked up at the dollar store, which she had mocked him for buying, but is now laughing along with him as it fits right in.

She turns to tell him Happy New Year, but he cuts her off by capturing her lips with his. She smiles against him before kissing back, her arms wrapping around his neck on their own volition.

He kisses her until they're both breathless and then pulls back far enough to meet her eyes. "Happy New Year."

"Happy New Year," she echoes.

"2002," he says.

She nods. "2002," she echoes his words again.

He smiles warmly at her. "It's going to be a great year."

She narrows her eyes at him. His eyes are sparkling and he looks far too optimistic for this to just be about the new year. "Marty..."

He raises his eyebrows and then pecks her on the lips. "I'm excited, Kens. Be excited with me."

She laughs out loud and presses her forehead to his. His excitement is palpable. And contagious. "I'm excited, Marty. And I'm always with you."

00

~January 8, 2002~

On the morning of his twenty third birthday, Deeks wakes up to the smoke alarm buzzing. And, as they live in a small studio apartment, the alarm jolts him right out of bed.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Shit! I'm sorry!" Kensi is calling from the kitchen area, where a frying pan filled with something very charred is smoking quite impressively.

Naked and somewhat disoriented, Deeks hurries for the kitchen.

"I just turned my back for a second..."

"It's okay," he says, his focus on the stove top. "Sink," he announces. He reaches for the frying pan.

"No, it's-"

"Hot!" He exclaims, jerking his hand away from the frying pan handle. He opens two drawers before he finds an oven mitt and pulls it over his hand for protection to move the pan to the sink. He turns on the water and the pan hisses and billows steam, but the smoke stops. "Can you open a window?" He asks over the noise of the alarm.

Kensi doesn't say a word as she leaves the kitchen and hurries across the living room for the window.

He turns back to the stove and sighs as he realizes it's still on, and at a high temperature. He turns it off. When he turns back around, Kensi is standing before him, wringing her hands. He stares at her for a long moment as his heart rate settles from being woken so abruptly.

The smoke clears enough that the incessant beeping of the alarm finally stops, leaving them in near silence. The only noise left now is the running water from the tap. He reaches to turn it off.

Kensi's eyes are moist when he meets them again. "I'm sorry," she whispers. "I should have been paying more attention. I wanted to make you breakfast. And I ruined it."

He's pretty sure his heart cracks a bit at her expression alone. "It's okay."

Her chest heaves. Her eyes are still moist, but she's holding back tears. "I wanted to make today special for you. And instead I ruined it."

"Kens-"

"I know I was cooking it too high, but I was trying to surprise you. And I thought it would cook faster then maybe I could be done before you woke up," she hurries to explain.

"Your logic is flawless as always," he jokes.

That almost gets him a smile.

"It's okay, Kens. Really. I'm up now. We can cook breakfast together. Or I can pretend to go back to sleep and you can try again...at a lower heat."

This does get him a smile, but only for a moment. "That was the last of our eggs," she admits, looking down like she's done something wrong.

He's had enough. He steps forward and wraps her in his arms. "Then we'll go out for breakfast, and you can try cooking me breakfast again next year. That gives you a whole year to practice," he tries to joke with her.

"I just wanted to make today special," she says again.

He frowns. "It already is." The fact alone that she's in his life makes his life special. The fact that she's here with him on his birthday automatically makes his birthday far better than so many in the past. "Seriously, Kens, what's going on?" He tries to pull back to meet her eyes, but she pulls closer, tucking her head under his chin. He lets her and holds her tight.

"I didn't do anything last year."

He sighs. "First of all, I was the one who didn't tell you it was my birthday. And second, last year was the best birthday ever. And that was because of you."

"But I didn't _know_. You do so much for me, Marty. I don't like that I was completely oblivious."

He rests his chin on her head for a long moment before responding. "We were still new, this time last year. It wasn't like it is now."

"No, instead of being oblivious, now I ruin breakfast and wake you up with the smoke alarm."

He laughs out loud. "And yet, it's still already a great birthday."

Kensi pulls back far enough to meet his eyes. She looks doubtful. "It's early. It smells like burnt eggs." She waves a hand at him. "You're not even wearing any clothes. How is this a good birthday?"

He smirks at her. "I'd say me naked is halfway to a good start on a great birthday, huh?"

This gets him an open smile from his girlfriend. "And what would the other half be?"

He playfully tugs at the hem of her shirt. "You naked."

"I think I can make that happen."

He pecks her lips. "See, you could have just done that instead of trying to burn down the apartment..."

She mock glares at him and he bites back a smile.

"I love you," he says sweetly.

She scrunches her nose and then smiles. "I love you, too, birthday boy."

00

~Late January 2002~

Kensi works her way through the throngs of people towards the kitchen to obtain a third round of drinks for herself and Marty. Along with a full fridge, there are several coolers set around the room and she bends to open each before deciding what she's in the mood for. She finally retrieves a bottled vodka cooler and stands. Then she stops and tries to remember which cooler had the beer that Marty likes. She's not drunk, but she's had just enough to drink that her brain feels a little slower than usual.

"Trouble deciding?"

She looks up at the unfamiliar voice and finds a man standing at the edge of the kitchen with an amused expression on his face. He's clean cut with short dark hair, and she knows immediately he's military.

"I thought when I would come to college that the parties would have kegs and plastic cups," she answers. "But no, there's light beer, dark beer, red beer...in cans and bottles. Plus, vodka coolers and wine coolers. And about ten flavours of soda. And the cappuccino machine," she says, pointing to the shiny machine on the counter. "They definitely didn't have that in the movies I watched growing up."

The stranger comes closer. "You make a good point. Though I don't mind having more varieties of beer to choose from."

Kensi shrugs. "I usually go for cheap." She snaps the fingers on her free hand as she remembers where she saw the beer Marty prefers. She walks across the kitchen, past the stranger, and opens the lid on the green cooler. She pulls out a bottle of beer.

"Success!" She announces.

He gives her an amused look. "Congratulations?"

She holds up her two bottles in triumph. "I'm going to pretend I don't hear the sarcasm in your tone because I deserve congratulations. That was hard."

He smiles warmly at her. "You're right. I'm sure that was a very difficult decision that required focus, skill and sacrifice."

She rolls her eyes and turns things back on him. "Well, maybe not the same level of sacrifice as deciding to serve your country."

He pauses, caught off guard that she has read him so easily.

He clears his throat. "I, uh... I'm visiting a buddy. Most people I've met just assume I go to school here."

Kensi shakes her head. "Not a chance. You local? Stationed at Pendleton?"

Again, he looks taken aback at her knowledge and easy read.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"Yes," he agrees. "Just finished boot camp. Hoping to deploy this year." He pauses for a moment and stands up a little straighter. "I enlisted after...what happened in September."

Kensi nods. "Good for you. That's not an easy choice, but it's an admirable one."

"Most people either tell me I'm brave or tell me I'm crazy."

"Most people probably didn't grow up on marine bases."

He nods. "That explains it. Your dad?"

"Yeah."

Before she can say anything further, Deeks appears in the doorway to the kitchen. "There you are! I thought you got lost or something."

She laughs. "There were too many choices."

He walks towards her and takes the proffered bottle of beer. "Thank you."

She taps her cooler against his beer bottle. "Cheers."

He chuckles. "Cheers."

She motions to the marine. "I've just been talking with..." She narrows her eyes for a moment as she tries to remember the marine's name, but then realizes she never asked for it. "Private...?"

He nods. "Private Simon."

"He's a marine stationed at Pendleton," she explains to Marty. She turns back to him. "This is my boyfriend, Marty."

Deeks nods at the other man. "Nice to meet you, uh, Private Simon." He stumbles over the marine address slightly, not used to it like she is.

He nods back and then laughs. "You, too. And, really, call me Jack." He turns to Kensi. "I didn't get your name...?"

"Kensi," she offers.

"Nice to meet you, too." He offers them both a smile, and looks slightly disappointed. Kensi feels her brow furrow, unsure what has disappointed the marine she's just met, until his gaze flickers between herself and Marty and it hits her. He was interested in her. The air rushes out of her lungs on a sudden exhale as she tried to think back and figure out what she missed.

She feels herself lean into her boyfriend without conscious thought. He's a comforting presence now that she's been thrown off by her realization. She passes her cooler to him, suddenly needing to do something. "Can you open this for me?"

Marty shoots her a questioning look, because they both know she doesn't actually need his help, but takes the bottle and gives her his beer bottle for the moment. She takes a swig of his beer as he twists open her cooler and then passes it back to her. "Thanks," she says, passing him back his beer.

"No problem," he tells her, not showing any discomfort in the situation. She smiles at him and reaches for his hand. She's not sure what the protocol is here, but she knows he's not one to stake a claim or make a scene. So she takes the initiative to make it clear to Jack that she's way off the market.

Jack clears his throat. "Well, my buddy has disappeared, so I should get going. It's nice to meet you both."

"No, man, you should stick around," Deeks says, surprising Kensi. He squeezes her hand. "There's lots of good people here. Come hang with us and we'll make some introductions." He nudges Kensi.

Kensi nods. "One of my friends who's here is a sucker for a man in uniform."

00

~February 2002~

"I still can't believe you're actually doing this."

Deeks rolls his eyes at his friend. "How many times are you going to say that?"

"As many times as it takes to knock some sense into you," Jeff responds. "What's the rush?"

Deeks drags his eyes away from the ring displays to face his friend. "There's no rush. We've been together almost a year and a half."

"You're both still in school," Jeff points out.

"So? I love her, man."

"I'm not saying to break up with her. I'm asking what's wrong with finishing school first?"

"Because I don't want to wait another two years." Deeks runs a hand through his hair. "Look, if you don't want to help me with this, you can go."

Jeff sighs. "Don't be like that, Marty. I'm your best friend. I'm happy to be here, and even though you haven't actually asked, I'm happy to be your best man." He pauses to smirk at Deeks.

Deeks rolls his eyes.

"And I like Kensi. She's good for you." He pauses again. "But you're both very driven people. Right now everything is okay because you're at the same school. But when happens in two years when you both graduate? What happens if you want one thing and she wants another? If you get jobs in different cities?"

Deeks sighs.

"I'm not trying to make trouble. I'm trying to be realistic. What's wrong with waiting a few years, making sure you can make it work together in the real world first?"

"It's not about seeing if we can make it work anymore," he explains. "It's about committing now, prioritizing each other, and building a life together."

00

~March 2002~

Kensi is interrupted from studying by a knock at the door. She stretches as she rises from the table and pads over to the door. The sight that awaits her is a surprise.

Mindy is standing in the hallway, clutching a plastic bag, looking close to tears.

Kensi blinks. "Hey, what's wrong?"

This is apparently the wrong thing to say, because her friend immediately bursts into tears.

"Oh, hey, no...don't cry. Whatever it is, it'll be okay. Come in, come in," Kensi stammers, ushering her friend in and shutting the door behind her.

Once inside the apartment, Mindy sniffles slightly, but her body is tense like she's holding back more tears.

"Is Marty here?"

"No, he's working."

More tears.

"Okay...you're really upset. Is it Jeff? Do I need to kick his ass or something?"

Mindy half laughs, but keeps crying.

Kensi steps up to her friend and hugs her. Mindy sort of hugs her back, clutches to her, really, but refuses to release her death grip on the plastic bag in her hands.

"I don't know how this could have happened," Mindy sobs.

"I don't...I...I need more to go on."

"We were always so careful."

For a moment, Kensi is still confused, but then suddenly she understands. "Oh, Mindy, are you...?"

"I think I'm pregnant," Mindy whispers.

Kensi breathes. "Okay. It's okay. Whatever happens, you guys can deal with it." She takes another breath. "Have you taken a test yet?"

"No. I couldn't do it alone."

"Jeff?"

"I don't want to tell him until I know."

"Okay." She pulls back from the hug to meet her friend's eyes. "You have the test here?"

Mindy lifts the bag.

"You good to do it now?"

Mindy nods. "I think so."

"Then let's find out." She pauses to squeeze her friend's shoulder. "And no matter what, I'm here for you, Mindy."

00

Deeks gets home late. He had class and then went immediately to one of his part time jobs, so he hasn't been home since that morning. He lets himself in and finds his girlfriend asleep on the bed. She's on her back, a little propped up, with a textbook in her lap, looking like she fell asleep sitting up and slowly made her way down to a more horizontal position. He tugs the book from her hands and sets it on the nightstand. Then he pulls one extra pillow from under her head so her neck won't be sore in the morning. He presses a kiss to her forehead and leaves her to her sleep.

He finds leftover pasta in the fridge that she has left him, along with a sticky note with a happy face. He pulls out the container and shovels three bites of cold pasta into his mouth with barely a pause to chew. He's barely had time for a break all day, let alone to eat.

He sets the container down on the counter for a moment and heads for the bathroom, needing to relieve himself before continuing to eat.

He uses the toilet, vaguely noticing, but not really paying attention to the suddenly full garbage pail. It's not until he's washing his hands that he catches sight of the words on the box that sits on the top of the garbage. With a shaking hand, he reaches for the box and lifts it for a closer look.

Yup. Definitely a pregnancy test.

Another glance at the garbage pail confirms there's at least one more box, so two tests.

He takes a deep breath. And then another. He doesn't bother looking for the actual tests. Whatever the results, he wants to hear it from Kensi.

He leaves the bathroom in a minor panic with the box in his hand and makes his way to the bed. She's still fast asleep, laying where he left her only minutes earlier. She looks peaceful and calm, such a contrast to his own sudden emotions that it stops him in his tracks. He inhales sharply and then exhales a long, shuddering breath. He stares at his slumbering girlfriend and wonders if their lives are about to change.

He already knows she's it for him. He already has the ring. But he hadn't factored kids into the equation for a long time coming.

Get married. Finish school. Establish careers and build a life. Then kids.

Not that they've ever talked about it. But he assumes she has the same plan. They're always on the same page.

If she's pregnant now, everything changes.

She'll have to take time off school. He's not sure if he will as well, but he wonders if it would be fair for her to have to and not him. But she's doing her undergraduate degree, so it's easier for her to take a semester off and pick up where she left off. He's in law school; it's a three year program that he has to follow in order. If he takes time off, it will probably have to be a full year.

And then there's the financial aspect. They're doing okay keeping themselves afloat, but he knows babies have to be expensive. Maybe he'll have to quit school all together and get a full time job. He _does_ already have a degree, so he could probably get an okay job.

He swallows hard at the prospect of changing his plans. But as he stares at Kensi, he feels the knot in his stomach loosen. Because plans change. And somewhere in the last year and a half, she has become his number one priority.

He sits beside his still-sleeping girlfriend and reaches to brush her hair from her face. She mumbles something unintelligible, but doesn't wake. He toys with whether or not to let her sleep, but knows he won't be able to sleep without knowing.

"Kens," he calls softly.

She moans and her eyes flutter.

He runs his fingers through her hair.

"Marty?"

"Hey, sorry to wake you." He swallows hard. "I, uh..."

She rolls towards him and reaches for his hand with her eyes still closed. She tangles their fingers together. "'s late."

"Yeah. I got home a few minutes ago." He swallows hard again. "I, uh, found something when I got home."

She sighs and then smiles. "You like my note?"

He frowns, trying to follow her logic. Then he remembers; the leftover pasta with the smiley face. "Cute. Thank you."

"And I didn't even set off the smoke alarm." She yawns. "And, okay, Mindy helped."

"That's good," he says, trying to move her on. "But that's not what I was talking about."

She opens her eyes, probably responding to his serious tone, and blinks up at him.

He lifts the box to her eye line. "This was in the bathroom."

She stares at it for a long moment, and then at him. Deeks feels his heart pounding in his chest. She looks back at the box, and then her eyes widen and she flails and sits up. "Crap! Marty, no. I...crap. I didn't even think..."

Whatever response he was expecting from his girlfriend, this is not it.

Kensi shakes her head. "It's not mine." She reaches for the box and snatches it from his hands. Then she waves it, as if she's going to throw it away. Then she makes a face like she's not sure why she grabbed the box from him in the first place. "It's not mine," she says again.

"It's not yours," he echoes.

"No."

"Whose is it?"

She hesitates for a moment before answering. "Mindy's. She thought she was pregnant. She showed up with the tests, really upset, wanted someone around when she took them. I didn't even think about where she threw out the packaging."

Deeks puffs out his cheeks as he exhales, feeling his body calm. "She wasn't...?"

Kensi shakes her head. "No. But please don't mention this to Jeff. She's not sure if she's going to tell him."

He nods absently. He's okay with not sticking his nose into something that has nothing to do with him, but he doesn't like the idea that maybe Kensi has been in Mindy's situation and he never knew. "Have you ever thought...?"

Kensi quickly shakes her head and even offers him a small smile. "No."

"But you'd tell me if you did, right? Cause I'd be there for you, no matter what, Kens."

She stares at him for a long moment before nodding. "I'd tell you," she assures. The look in her eyes leave no room for doubt.

"Good." He exhales again, his body relaxing further. "Sorry I woke you up for nothing. I kind of panicked there."

"I would have panicked, too," She assures, "You know, if it were possible to have this situation the other way around."

He laughs.

She laughs, too. "Let's just be glad this hasn't been an issue."

He leans close to peck her on the lips. "If it ever is, we'll be okay," he assures, his earlier panicked thoughts still fresh in mind.

She exhales a forced breath and then shakes her head. "Let's just make sure we're always careful."

He almost lets it go.

He almost nods and kisses her and lets it go.

But there's just something about her expression and her tone...

"You do...want kids...?" He asks hesitantly. "I mean, not now. But...one day?"

Kensi stares back at him, and her expression is not what he wants to see. "I..." She trails off and looks away from him.

Deeks feels his heart clench in his chest. In ten minutes he's gone from panicked that he and the woman he loves may be about to become parents much sooner than anticipated, to panicked that the woman he loves may not want to have kids with him at all.

"Kens?"

Her eyes flicker back to his. "I don't know," she whispers.

He feels his chest heave, but manages to keep his breathing in control after.

"I just...I don't think I'd be a good mother," she tries to explain.

"How could that be possible?"

"My mother abandoned her family," she reminds him. She pauses for a moment and tears well in her eyes. "And all I had was my dad. And when he died, I lost everything." A single tear trails down her cheek. "How could I bring a child into this world knowing I'd probably be horrible at it, and knowing how devastating it would be if the kid lost me?"

Deeks doesn't know what to say to address her fears. But he can't just sit back and watch her cry, so he wraps his arms around her and holds her. "You're not your mother," he tells her, because on his worst days when she tells him he's not his father, it helps.

"I'm sorry," she mumbles against his chest.

He swallows hard. "Don't be sorry, Kens. Don't ever be sorry for being you."

She quiets against him, crying softly, and he continues to hold her, stroking her back, equally silent as he tries to figure out his life plan now.

00

~Late March 2002~

Kensi tries to put on a brave face as she walks into the cafe to join her friends for coffee. It's been three days since _the talk_ and she's still not quite sure where she and Marty stand.

Mindy is already sitting at a small table by the window, looking about as happy as Kensi feels.

"Hey, Tiff not here yet?"

Mindy shakes her head.

"You okay?"

Mindy nods. "Fine." She sighs. "I told Jeff. You know, about thinking I was pregnant. He didn't react well."

"Sorry."

"It's not like I actually was pregnant, so I'm not sure what he's upset about."

"Maybe it just scared him," Kensi suggests.

"Scared me, too. Shouldn't that mean we can go through this together?"

"You are asking the wrong girl," Kensi answers.

Mindy narrows her eyes. "Trouble in paradise?"

"We've just been...talking about things. The opposite of your problems, actually. And I don't know what he's thinking. Or how to talk to him now."

Mindy opens her mouth to ask more questions, but Tiffani appears at the table and drops into a free chair. "Sorry I'm late."

"No worries," Mindy says.

"We're used to it," Kensi adds with a smile.

Tiffani scoffs. "I am not late _that_ much. Plus I'm only like two minutes late this time. I'm getting better."

"You're right. Last year it would have been twenty."

Tiffani rolls her eyes. "Very funny, Kay." Then she smiles. "I guess going out with a military man is helping me be more organized."

Kensi smiles, happy for her friend. "Still seeing Jack?"

She nods. "I really like him. Like, a lot. I think he could be the one."

"The one?" Mindy echoes, skeptical. "After two months?"

"He's perfect," Tiffani declares.

Before either Kensi or Mindy can say anything to their friend, the waiter comes by to take their order. They all order coffer or hot chocolate and a decadent dessert.

"I love this place," Tiffani says after they've ordered. "I'm going to open a bakery cafe one day."

"So, you've said," Mindy answers, smiling. It's a well practised joke.

"As soon as I finish the business degree my father is forcing me to get, I'm taking a culinary course. My dad said he'd pay for it if I graduate with honours from business school first. He still think it's _just a phase._ "

"That's a lot of school to bake cakes."

Tiffani mocks glares at her and then smiles. "And not cakes. I'm going to specialize in cupcakes. And I'm going to have specialty tee shirt for the wait staff, that say cutesy things like _Peace, Love and Cupcakes_."

Kensi laughs along with her friends. "I like it. How about _Keep calm and eat cupcakes_?"

Tiffani nods. "Love it!" She pulls a notepad out of her purse. "I am writing that down now so I don't forget."

"Fine, but I want credit."

"How about a free tee shirt and ten percent off cupcakes?"

"Fifty percent."

"Twenty five."

Kensi pretends to think about it. "Deal."

Tiffani laughs and lifts her hand. They're both laughing when they shake hands. "This is, of course, dependent on my actually opening my cupcake shop one day."

"You will," Kensi says with confidence.

Tiffani smiles at her. "So, we've talked about me. How about you two?" When neither Kensi or Mindy jump in with anything, she frowns. "Everything okay?"

Kensi sighs. "I...hope so."

"Marty?"

She nods. "We've just...hit a bit of a rough patch, I think." She feels tears well in her eyes, but refuses to let them fall. "I love him, but that doesn't fix everything. And I don't know how to fix this."

The waiter returns with their drinks and sets them down. He notes the mood of the table and says nothing.

Once they're in relative privacy again, Tiffani reaches out to lay a hand on Kensi's arm. "Did something happen?"

"No, not exactly. We've just been talking and..." She trails off and shakes her head. "I don't know what to say to him right now because I know there's nothing I can say to fix it."

Tiffani squeezes her arm. "I'm here if you need anything, Kay."

"Thank you."

Tiffani releases her arm, recognizing Kensi doesn't want to explain further right now. She turns to Mindy. "Dare I ask?"

00

~Early April 2002~

"Did she say no?"

Deeks looks up at the sound of his best friend's voice. He's been sitting alone at a small table at the local bar, staring morosely into his beer while he waits for Jeff to show up. It's early afternoon, so it's fairly quiet and he's surprise he didn't hear Jeff's approach.

"What?"

"When you asked me to meet you here, I assumed..." Jeff trails off and stares critically at Deeks while he sits opposite him at the table. "Well, I assumed you had finally given Kensi the ring. But the look on your face now tells me that didn't happen."

"Didn't give her the ring."

"Because she said no?" He asks carefully.

"No. She doesn't know about the ring."

"Okay. So, what happened that put that look on your face?"

Deeks runs a hand through his hair. "I thought we wanted all the same things."

Jeff sighs. "See, man, this is why I wanted you to wait-"

"No, turns out we're on the same page about school, commitment, careers, all that."

"So...?"

"She doesn't know if she wants kids."

"Ah." Jeff sits up. "And you do."

"Yeah. I mean, not now. Not soon. But one day."

"Did she actually say she doesn't want them at all?"

"She said she doesn't know." He hesitates a moment before explaining further. "Her mother abandoned her family, and then her father died and she was alone. She has every right to be afraid." He runs his hand through his hair. "Hell, I get it. I didn't want kids for a long time because I was afraid I'd be like my father."

"What changed your mind?"

"Kensi." Being with Kensi makes him feel like a better person. He'd been afraid of the idea of being a father before her. But with her, he knows he can be a good dad. With her, he knows they can be amazing parents, together.

Jeff sighs and leans forward. "I think that's the answer you're looking for, man."

Deeks stares at him.

"Would you still want kids if it was with someone else?"

He shakes his head. "No."

"Then would you be okay being with her and not having kids?"

00

Kensi is surprised when the apartment door opens. She hadn't been expected Marty home for at least another hour. He looks anxious and slightly out of breath when he pushes the door shut and turns to her. His eyes flash as he meets her and then he smiles.

She smiles hesitantly back. She's sitting cross legged on the couch, trying to force her brain to focus and study because finals are coming up. But he's hijacked her thoughts, keeping her focus on him and the stress of the past week.

He stands at the door for a long moment, smiling softly at her, silent. And then he releases a breath and it's as if all the tension in his body just melts. "I love you," he says.

She opens her mouth, but no words come out. He's surprised her and she's not sure what to say.

"I love you so much," he continues, unheeded by her silence.

"Marty..."

He strides towards her and sits beside her on the couch. She shifts so she's facing him.

"I'm sorry things have been so hard this week," he tells her.

"No. No, it's my fault. I-"

He silences her with a finger on her lips. "Don't ever apologize for being who you are. I don't ever want you to be afraid to tell me how you feel about anything."

She swallows hard and then nods.

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you," he announces.

Kensi feels the air escape her lungs. She couldn't respond even if she had any idea how to form words in this moments.

"And if that life together is just you and me, that's okay."

She feels her chest heave and tears well in her eyes. "But...you want kids."

"I didn't until I met you," he tells her. "I was so afraid because of what I went through as a kid. But I met you, and you healed that part of me."

"Marty..." She swipes at the tears making their way down her cheeks.

He takes over, wiping away her tears with his thumbs. When he's done, he finds her hands with his. "I only want kids with you," he tells her. "And I'm okay if that doesn't happen."

"I...Marty..." She swallows hard. Her heart aches in her chest, both at his love for her, what he's willing to give up for her, and the prospect of making this decision. "I don't think so, but I don't know. I want to be able to give you this, I do, but-"

"It's okay," he soothes. "I promise you, I will be okay with whatever choice you make. And it's not something you need to know now, Kensi. It's something we can talk about in...I don't know, five years? Or ten. Or twenty. We have so much time. This is not something we need to know now."

"You're...you're sure?"

"I'm sure," he tells her, looking her straight in the eye. And she can't see an ounce of hesitation in his gaze.

"I...I don't know what to say," she whispers, looking down at their joined hands.

He releases one hand to raise his hand to cup her cheek and nudge her eyes back to his. "Tell me you're in?" He half suggests and half begs.

She releases a laughing breath and nods. "Of course I'm in. I...love you, Marty. So much. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, too."

00

~Late April 2002~

Deeks waits until things have settled down and gone back to normal before he subtly retrieves the ring from its hiding place one Saturday morning. He puts it in his pocket and then entices his girlfriend down to the beach. She only has one final exam left for this semester, which is in three days, so she's not concerned about taking time away from studying today.

It's a nice day. The weather is warm and dry for late April.

She says nothing as he leads them a longer way than usual to the beach. When they stop to remove their shoes at the edge of the beach, Kensi grasps onto his forearm for balance, just like she had that first time.

She's smiling when she stands upright, shoes in hand. "This is where we walked when we missed the movie," she points out.

He seriously almost drops to a knee right there. Instead he smiles and nods and hopes to hell he's not giving anything away. "You're right."

He takes her hand and they wander along the shoreline.

Kensi bumps his hip playfully. "You know, I remember the first time we did this, right about here, I was trying to figure out how to reach for your hand."

He chuckles. "I knew the moment you switched your shoes to your other hand."

She scrunches her nose, which he thinks is adorable. "Was I that obvious?"

"Little bit. But I loved it. I couldn't figure you out. I was just amazed you were choosing to be there with me." He stops them and turns to meet her eyes. "I'm still amazed you want to be with me. I'm amazed by you, Kensi."

She smiles softly at him. "You're pretty amazing yourself, Marty." She glances around. "You know, I think this is about where we had our first kiss..." She raises an eyebrow.

He smirks. "I know. That was the plan."

"Plan?"

He cuts off any further words by leaning forward and pressing a short kiss to her lips. She kisses him back, but her eyes are narrowed when he pulls away.

He takes a moment to take her in, hoping that was the last time he will kiss her as her boyfriend. Hoping in a few minutes he'll be her fiancé.

He reaches into his pocket with his free hand. She follows his movement with her eyes. He squeezes her hand and then drops to one knee.

She gasps and her free hand moves to cover her mouth.

He gives her a moment to get over her shock. "I love you more than anything," he begins, holding up the ring. He'd spent hours coming up with what to say, but his speech is a jumble in his mind now. "And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want us to build a life together and a home together."

Kensi's eyes are filled with so-far unshed tears and her hand has moved from her mouth to her chest.

"I want to fight alongside you for your dreams, and I want you to fight with me for mine. I want us to be...partners in this world, forever. And I want us to be happy. And you make me _so_ happy," he chokes slightly on the words, feeling tears well in his own eyes. "So, Kensi Marie Blye, will you marry me?"

She closes her eyes and her chest heaves, but she's tugging at his hand, pulling him to his feet. Her eyes are open and there are tears on her cheeks by the time he's on his feet.

"Yes," she whispers fiercely, before wrapping her arms around his neck.

He exhales sharply, making some nonsensical note of triumph as he hugs her back. He holds her for a long moment, before tightening his grip around her, lifting her off her feet and spinning them both in circles.

"Marty!" She cries after the third revolution, but she's laughing.

He sets her down and then kisses her.

His first time kissing her as her fiancé. It's so familiar, and yet new at the same time. He feels exhilarated and happier than maybe he's ever been.

Ever.

When they break the kiss, she ducks her head and presses her forehead to his chin. He's ready for the move and cants his head to press his lips to the top of her head. "When you're ready, I have a ring I'd really like to put on your finger."

She laughs in his arms and then slowly raises her head. Her eyes are moist, but open and filled with the happiness he is feeling.

He takes her left hand in his and then carefully slides the engagement band onto her fourth finger.

Her hand is trembling as he puts the ring on her finger and when he's finished, she holds it up for them both to see. "Wow, Marty. It's...wow." She bends her fingers, getting used to the new addition.

"Good fit?"

"Perfect fit."

* * *

 _ **AN: Hope this lived up to expectation - I know some of you want more of the past and some want the story to move forward faster. Regardless, I do need to set some things up, so this needed to happen now, and would rather tell the whole story.**_

 _ **For those wanting to look back/make connections with this chapter: chapter 7 has the flashback right after the proposal, chapter 10 has the flashback where Kensi finds out she missed Deeks's birthday because she didn't know about it, chapter 14 has the flashback where she buys him the train and she gives it to him in chapter 24, and chapter 23 has the scene with their first walk on the beach.**_


	32. Little Angels

Episodes 2.05 - Little Angels

They spend their weekend together. Literally together pretty much every moment.

The previous week had been long and grating, so Friday night they went out, had dinner - had _fun_ \- and acted like real people with normal lives.

Then Saturday they spent the morning looking at houses with their realtor. They had dinner with Kensi's mom.

On Sunday, they hit the beach in the morning, picked up groceries, and then spent much of the afternoon looking at more houses.

It isn't until he's sitting across the kitchen table from his wife at that Deeks realizes he hasn't not seen her for more than a few minutes since the previous weekend.

He loves his wife. And he loves his new job. And he loves that he gets to see his wife more than he used to because of his new job. But working together comes with its own set of challenges. Because where they used to have to work so hard to find time together, now they have to remember to spend time apart.

"We should have bought a Crockpot years ago," Kensi says, pointing to her meal with her fork. "This is amazing."

He smiles and nods. "Agreed."

"I'll rock-paper-scissors you for who gets to bring leftovers to work for lunch..." She says, her eyes twinkling.

"What?"

"We can't both bring the same thing. Callen and Sam might be more oblivious than I anticipated, but even they would notice if we brought the same leftovers for lunch."

"They don't think you can cook. How would you explain suddenly being able to make something like this on your own?"

She narrows her eyes and considers him for a long moment.

"Plus, they know I just bought a Crockpot," he adds.

"I could just say you were talking about yours, so I bought one, too."

"Still doesn't explain how you can use it."

She huffs. "Fine. I'll just come up with a cover story that I'm...dating a chef. And he made it for me."

He smiles widely at his determined wife. So food focused that she's willing to make up a cover story just for one lunch. "A chef who cooks using a Crockpot?"

She scrunches her nose. "Fine. Not a chef. Just a guy who knows how to cook."

"Who you're clearly using for his cooking skills."

She points her fork at him. "You are not helping."

"I'm not trying to help. I don't want you stealing my leftovers."

"I don't want _you_ stealing _my_ leftovers," she lobs back at him. "Hence the rock-paper-scissors."

"Fine." He stands and she meets him beside the table. "Best two out of three?"

"Nope. One round. Winner takes all."

"Alright." He raises his right hand in a vertical fist.

She mirrors him.

Together, they drop their right hands once...twice...

On the third drop, he reaches out with his left hand and pokes her in the side of her ribs, right where he knows she is most ticklish. As expected, when her hand comes down the third time, she's distracted trying to squirm away from his fingers and her hand remains in a fist.

He throws paper.

He covers her 'rock' with his 'paper.'

"I win."

"Marty! You cheated!" She chastises, though she's laughing.

"You did not stipulate any additional rules, like that I could not touch you. You said one round, winner takes all."

She glares at him. "In my next life, I'm not marrying a lawyer."

He laughs. "I'm not a lawyer anymore."

"No, but you can still talk like one. And you're sneaky."

He hooks his arms around her and pulls her close. "How about a cop? Would you marry a cop in your next life?"

She pretends to think about it. "If you're still a cop, I guess so."

00

They drive in tandem to work Monday morning, but their efforts are in vain because they arrive before both Callen and Sam.

The other set of partners arrive a few minutes later, bantering as usual. Apparently Sam has admitted a fear of clowns to Callen, who has chosen to mock his partner.

"That really exists? I thought that was some urban legend. I didn't think people actually had that."

"I do," Sam insists.

"You're really afraid of clowns?"

"Yeah."

"What kind of clowns are we talking about?" Callen asks.

"Clowns like Deeks? Or clowns like...?" Kensi cuts in with a smile, proud at herself for her joke.

Deeks looks up from his paperwork and glares at his wife. She bites back a smile and looks away from him. He rolls his eyes and tries to refrain from smiling himself. She's just a little bitter than he won rock-paper-scissors yesterday. They've both been a bit snarky this morning.

Callen laughs as he circles around to his desk.

"No, real clowns," Sam answers, not seeing the humour like his partner. "Orange hair, fat-toed shoes."

Callen isn't ready to let it go. "So, we bust in on some terrorists, they pop on a red nose, and you're going to freeze up on me?"

"I reveal a vulnerable part of myself and you mock me?" Sam counters.

"Hell, yeah. It's clowns."

"Well, I have chaetophobia," Kensi contributes to the conversation.

Deeks rolls his eyes again, knowing she's only bringing this up because he's listening. It's a well-practiced joke between them.

Nell walks by, but stops at Kensi's words. "Fear of...hair?"

"Impressive," Kensi says. "Gold star for the new girl."

"Way to go, Nell," Sam offers, half sincere.

"That is not a thing," Deeks argues.

"It's a thing," she insists.

"Are you afraid of all hair?" Sam asks.

"Back hair," she announces.

Deeks says nothing, waiting for... Yup, she squirms as expected. "Shaggy back hair. I shouldn't have brought it up."

"You really shouldn't have," Callen says.

"Got me out of the clown thing," Sam offers.

"How exactly does one develop a fear of back hair?" Callen questions.

Kensi shoots Deeks a very quick glare before looking back at Callen. "I had a traumatic experience."

Deeks scoffs, which draws the attention of both Sam and Callen. He clears his throat. "I just... I've heard this story already. Lots of time spent in the car, yeah? It's not a traumatic story."

"It's traumatic."

"Why don't you tell Callen and Sam, and let them decide?"

She glares at him again, before looking to the rest of the team. "When I was in college, my _boyfriend_ _at the time_ took me to a Halloween party. There was a whole group of creepy frat guys parading around in rat costumes-"

"Rat costumes?" Sam cuts in.

"They thought they were The Rat Pack."

"But that doesn't make-"

"Everyone but them knew they were morons." She pauses while all three guys laugh. "They were very hairy. Everywhere. Some weren't even wearing costumes on their..." She waves her hand, "Upper halves. And they were _very_ hairy guys. It was very creepy. And traumatic." She pauses to glance around the room, and Deeks knows it's just to be able to shoot him a look. "And, to make matters worse, my _boyfriend at the time_ forced me to wear a ridiculous _matching_ costume that attracted attention."

"I'm sure it didn't attract any attention at all," he responds. He still thinks his costume idea that year was awesome. He wonders what it would take to get her to agree to a repeat. It has been a decade... "I'm sure you loved it."

"I'm sure I didn't."

He smirks. "And didn't you say you lost a bet and he got to choose costumes? That's not exactly being forced."

She glares at him.

"How bad were the costumes?" Callen asks.

"We were Wenda and Waldo," she admits.

Callen clearly doesn't know what she's talking about.

But Sam does. "From the Where's Waldo books? That's awesome!"

"Where's Waldo?" Callen questions.

Sam nods. "Guy in a red striped suit who you have to find on every page. Plus his girlfriend, Wenda." He motions to Kensi. "And his dog. And there's a bad guy in yellow stripes. And items, like keys and bones."

Callen frowns. "And you have to find them?"

"On every page."

"Why?"

Sam shakes his head like questioning the concept has never occurred to him. "Because that's the point of the books."

00

The case of the day starts as locating Commander Jason Rehme, a high level computer genius working for the Navy. He had been scheduled for an early morning department meeting, but didn't show. Considering the potential consequences if he's been targeted, the team heads to his home.

They quickly search his house, which is empty, and are in the backyard when he stumbles out of the forest. He's desperate and clutching to a bloody sandal.

"It's my daughter's," he explains, not bothering to ask who they are or why they are in his backyard.

"Commander Rehme?" Callen asks.

He nods. "NCIS?"

Callen nods. "We were called when you didn't show up for your staff meeting."

"I've been looking for my daughter. I need to find her."

"We can help you with that. Why don't you come inside and explain what happened?"

The Commander nods and follows them into his house. He explains that he had argued with his fourteen year old daughter the night before. She'd gone to bed, but hadn't been there in the morning. It wasn't unusual for her to run on the trails behind their house, so he went to see, but found blood on the edge of the backyard, which began a desperate search.

"What was your fight about?" Kensi asks gently.

Deeks is across the room, but her tone catches his attention and he takes a pause in his investigating to stare sympathetically at his wife. He's pretty sure her biggest regret in life is the fight her fifteen year old self had with her father right before he died.

Commander Rehme sighs. "She had a boy over. It was stupid. I made him leave."

"The boy's name?"

"Daniel...something." He pauses and thinks. "Daniel Proffer."

Kensi steps away, and Deeks knows she's calling in to Eric to have the tech look up the boy.

"Her mom die?" Sam questions.

"Four years ago," Commander Rehme answers. "How did you know that?"

Sam holds up a family picture from the mantle. "Divorcees don't normally have pictures of their ex all over the house."

00

They quickly confirm the boyfriend was not involved. He was at home, alone, and asleep.

Unfortunately, it would have been easier if this was a simple case of a teenage girl running away to spend the night with her boyfriend.

The Commander is e-mailed a video link of his daughter. She's trapped in a box, buried underground, with only a limited amount of oxygen.

The MO matches perfectly with a known serial killer who killed three girls the same way two years prior. Only the serial killer, Lucas Maragos, was caught, convicted and is in prison.

Deeks is sent to the prison to interview Maragos.

He takes the SRX he and Kensi almost always take together. It's the first time he's been able to drive it.

He arrives at the prison in record time. He's collecting his things before getting out of the car when he fumbles and drops his phone.

He swears when it drops down the space between the seat and the center console of the car. He sticks his hand down after it, wincing at the tight squeeze. His hand comes back up with his phone, but there's something else, too. Something that's crinkling.

He lifts the twinkie wrapper up for a better look and then shakes his head. And then he laughs.

"Oh, Kens," he mumbles to himself as he stuffs the wrapper back down beside the seat and then gets out of the car. She's something special, in more ways than one, and he's never giving her up.

00

They save the girl. It's down to the wire when they dig up the box and pull her unconscious body from the ground, but she revives.

The team had set a trap for whomever was involved, forcing them to show up at the park. They had stationed themselves around the park to be ready when it happened.

Callen and Sam were closest, and dug up the girl.

Kensi and Deeks, after sitting in tense near-silence waiting to see if it would be them closest, speed to back up Callen and Sam. Deeks holds onto the door handle as the SUV bumps and lurches and spins its way over hills and around corners. He's actually impressed with how well his wife handles the large vehicle in this terrain, but decides to tell her later, allowing her to keep her focus on driving.

He also decides to wait to bring up the twinkie wrapper.

They arrive on scene in time to see Sam successfully revive the girl.

Across the clearing, two teenage boys are handcuffed - a product of spending too much time with their uncle Lucas before he was sent to prison.

Kensi lifts her phone, but Callen waves her off. "Ambulance is already on its way."

Only feet away, Sam in reassuring the girl that she's safe now.

Deeks breathes a sigh of relief. His LAPD work was either long stints undercover building trust with the bad guys to gather information, or investigating crimes after they'd happened. Other than responding to 911 calls as an officer and some less than auspicious events happening while undercover, he isn't used to cases like this. The adrenaline run, and rush to meet a literal deadline. Working with a team just as focused as yourself.

Since he began spending all his time at NCIS, not all of his cases have been like this, but they've happened enough. He's finding he likes them - not the cases themselves where people are at risk - but working with the team so closely towards a common goal.

"Want us to secure the teenage miscreants over there?" Deeks asks Callen, motioning to the boys still laying handcuffed.

Callen huffs and shakes his head. "Let them stew. The FBI is on their way. They can take custody."

"Alright. Anything we can do?"

Callen glances at his partner for a long moment. Sam's talking softly to the girl. He turns back to Kensi and Deeks. "Not right now." He nods to them both. "Good job today, both of you. This almost wasn't a win."

Deeks nods back.

"Think we were lucky, or smart?" Kensi asks, staring at Sam.

Callen sighs. "Probably both."

Within minutes, they can hear sirens. Deeks heads down the trail on foot to where they left the cars. He waves down the ambulance and guides them back up the trail.

Sam doesn't leave the girl's side as she's assessed by the paramedics.

"Can you walk, sweetie?" A paramedic asks, glancing down the trail they have just hiked up. It will be difficult to move her.

"I can go back for the carry stretcher," Deeks offers.

Sam waves him off. "I'll carry her." He heads down the trail with the girl and the paramedics.

In a moment, Kensi is on her way back up the trail, having walked back down to lead the FBI back up. The original serial killer case was theirs, so they will be taking over this case now.

The FBI begin to secure the scene and one of the agents takes a statement from Callen as to how they found the ground and box when freeing the girl.

Deeks and Kensi, on the FBI's request, escort the handcuffed teens down the trail.

Once at what is now many more vehicles than before, the FBI take custody of the boys.

The girl is sitting in the back of an ambulance, holding an oxygen mask to her face. Sam is standing beside her.

"Looks like she's going to be okay," Deeks offers.

Kensi nods. "Poor girl. Not an easy thing to come back from, I'm sure."

He bumps her shoulder, wanting to reach out to her in some way. "Today was a win," he reminds.

She nods. "I know."

They watch as the girl's father arrives by NCIS escort. He rushes to his daughter, who stumbles out of the back of the ambulance and into her father's arms. She's clearly the most important thing in her father's life. He holds her tight and holds her up as she clutches to him for comfort.

Deeks glances at his wife, who is silent beside him as she stares at the reunion between father and daughter. He wants so much to reach out to her in this moment. "They look tight," he comments.

She nods, but says nothing.

He shifts closer so they're shoulders and hips are brushing together. "You know, the last conversation they had was a fight..."

She swallows hard. "Marty..."

He pauses to breathe for a moment, but knows she handle a little more. "Doesn't seem like either of them care about that now, huh?"

She turns to him, her eyes suspiciously moist.

He cocks his head. "Your dad didn't care either, Kens. He loved you like that." He nods at the father and daughter still tucked together by the back of the ambulance. "He just wanted you safe and happy."

She blinks back her tears and nods. "I know. You've told me a hundred times."

"A hundred? Felt more like a thousand."

She huffs a laugh. "Maybe when you get to a million I'll be able to believe it."

"At least we have a goal," he jokes, knowing she needs him to lighten the mood.

She manages a soft smile.

"I'll keep telling you, Kens. As many times as you need," he promises.

00

When they get home, it's to a happy dog.

Monty whuffs and wags and wiggles his way around them, making them both smile and eventually laugh at his antics.

"You want to go out?" Deeks asks, lifting the dog's leash from the hook by the door. "We'll be quick," he says to Kensi, planning on taking to dog out and back quickly to relieve himself.

"Let's just take him for a walk," she suggests, following him back out the door.

"Alright." He turns to Monty as Kensi locks the door. "Mommy's coming!"

Monty woofs and practically shakes with excitement. Deeks smiles at the excited dog, knowing he really doesn't understand their words, but is excited to be out with his favourite people.

They walk in tandem down the stairs to the parking lot, and then Deeks reaches for his wife's hand as they cut across the parking lot for the walking path.

"I know you're right," she tells him after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

"I usually am," he quips. "But which right-ness are we talking about this time?"

She bumps his hip playfully. "What you said - keep saying - about my dad. I know if they'd found him injured and alive instead of..." She swallows hard. "Instead of dead. I know he would have been so happy to see me in the hospital. He wouldn't have cared that we had fought."

"From what you've told me, that sounds like your dad."

She shoots him a soft smile. "It's just hard, knowing the last words we exchanged were so..." She trails off with a sigh. "I just wish I could have said something nice, told him how much he meant to me."

He squeezes her hand. "Even if you hadn't fought, you wouldn't have known your last conversation would be your last conversation. People don't have life confirming conversations with the people they love on a daily basis."

She stops them and turns, hooking her hands around his waist. He hugs her back tightly. Monty grumbles at being stopped, but sits and waits patiently for his parents to get a move on.

"He knew how much you loved him," he assures. "It's not about individual conversations. It's about your interactions as a whole."

"I'm trying to keep that in mind," she tells him.

"I'm here to keep reminding you as much as you need," he assures again.

She looks up at him and lifts one hand to cup his jaw. "I've always loved our life together," she tells him. "Even when you were undercover. But I _really_ like having you home."

He ducks his head down to press his forehead to hers. In moments like these, it's difficult to remember he's only been home full time for two months. "Me, too, Kens."

Yes, they have to remember to schedule time apart now, so they don't drive each other crazy. But he gets to wake up to her every morning, and fall asleep next to her each night.

And that means the world to him. That makes worth everything else.

"I'm glad you were here for the case today," she tells him.

He pulls his forehead from hers and replaces it with his lips. "Me, too."

She clutches to the fabric of his shirt over his arms. "I thought about my dad a lot, but I also thought..." She trails off for a moment.

He stays quiet, letting her find her words. He runs his hand up and down her spine.

"I thought about what would happen if we had a kid and something like this happened."

Her words steal the air from his lungs. It's been a long time since they've discussed having kids. It's a subject he leaves to her to bring up.

"I don't think I could go through that," she tells him, still clutching to him. "How could we keep a kid safe in this world? I would want to kill anyone who hurt our kid."

He pulls away far enough to meet her eyes. Her gaze is filled with concern. And then, despite himself, he releases a laughing breath.

She narrows her eyes at him.

He ducks in to press a quick kiss to her lips. "You are an enigma, Kensi Deeks." He raises a hand to brush a few strands of hair from her face. "You realize you're irrationally worried right now about the potential safety of our hypothetical potential future child?"

"And there's something funny about that?"

"It's only funny because it proves my point."

"Which is?"

He kisses her again. "You've spent years worried you'd make a bad mother," he reminds. "You being worried now just reinforces how awesome you'd be."

She releases a long, slow breath. She leans forward and tucks her forehead against his chin. He closes his arms around her again. Beside them, Monty sits patiently, watching his parents with mild concern.

"I guess I worry about a lot of things," she tells him.

"I do, too," he admits. "We see the bad in this world almost every day."

She sighs, still tucked against him, and he feels her exhale on his neck. "I wish this were easier."

"We still have time," he repeats the same words he's said every time they've talked about kids.

"When you were on your last assignment...my mom asked when we were going to have kids," Kensi tells him. "Not _if_ , but _when_."

"That's probably pretty normal," he points out. "She thinks you have a normal job and doesn't really understand what I was doing at the time. It's normal for her to expect us to have kids."

"She just assumed she'd be a grandmother."

He's not sure what to say to this, so he rubs her back.

She eventually pulls back far enough to meet her eyes again. "If we had kids, I don't know if I could trust her around them. How could I know she wouldn't just up and leave again? Cut us all out of her life like she did last time?"

"I don't know, Kens." He cups her cheek. "But I do know people make mistakes. You've let her in a lot over the last few years, and I think she's done a good job proving she wants to be in your life."

"What if I'm not enough again? What if _we_ aren't enough? How do I explain that to a child?"

He raises both hands to cheeks, holding her gaze steady on his. "Any kids we have will still have us, Kens. Because I'm sure as hell not going anywhere. And I know you, maybe better than you know yourself right now. It is not in your nature to cut and run, no matter what. There hasn't been a moment in eight years of marriage that I've thought you may want out or may want out in the future."

She shakes her head within his hands. "Never."

He kisses her. "Then have some faith in yourself. You're your own person."

She closes her eyes and breathes. He knows he hasn't fixed everything, knows he can't fix everything for her, no matter how hard he tries, but she's carrying less weight on her shoulders than she was ten minutes earlier.

00

 _Deeks had been home from a long undercover assignment for a week when his wife tucked herself up next to him on the couch._

 _"So, I should probably tell you something," she started._

 _He glanced at her, and then reached for the remote to turn off the television. The look on her face told him this was going to be a serious conversation. "What's wrong?"_

 _"Nothing is wrong," she assured. "Nothing is anything, actually. I just... You asked me once if I would tell you, and...well, I couldn't tell you at the time because you were undercover, but I thought I should still tell you now and-"_

 _"Kens," he prompted._

 _"Right." She took a breath. "A couple weeks after you went undercover, I thought I might be pregnant. I wasn't," she said quickly. "But I took a test. Two actually. Both negative." She paused for another breath. "So, nothing... nothing exciting or anything, but I thought you should know."_

 _"Thank you for telling me," he said, probably sounding a lot calmer than he actually feels. His throat felt suddenly dry. "Are you okay?"_

 _"I was scared," she admitted. "More because you weren't there and I didn't know how soon you'd be back. But I'm okay now."_

 _"I'm sorry I wasn't there."_

 _"I know." She offered him a soft smile. "Just like you know it wasn't your fault."_

 _He smiled back at her. "Do you want to talk about it?"_

 _"I still don't know, Marty. I mean, I look at you and I feel_ us _and I know we'd have awesome kids." She looked at him through tortured eyes, and he could see both deep seated fear and powerful yearning._

 _He understood the yearning. God, did he understand._

 _He sees his wife, and he holds her and touches her and is amazed by her beauty and her strength. And he wants this for them. He wants it so badly._

 _But he won't force her hand. He won't force a decision before she's ready. He knew when he asked her to spend her life with him and put a ring on her finger that kids may not be in their future. He was okay with that then and he's okay with it now. He_ wants _kids. But he_ needs _her. And if he has kids, he only wants them with her._

 _"We'd have beautiful kids," he responded. He took a chance by running his fingers through her hair. "I can imagine a little girl with long, brown hair and mismatched eyes."_

 _She stared at him for a long moment before smiling. "I actually imagine boys."_

 _"Really?" He was surprised by her comment, not having expected her to add on to his comment._

 _She nodded. "With unruly blond hair, who never stop talking."_

 _He laughed out loud. "That is a bit of an exaggeration."_

 _She laughed, too, but sobered quickly. "I'm sorry I don't know yet."_

 _"It's okay. We're not in the right place right now anyway. If we have kids, I don't want to be working undercover. I want to be home."_

 _"I want that, too." She paused. "And I want to...be good at it."_

 _"You will be, if the time comes," he assured. He was careful with his words, always was when they broached this subject. He wanted to reassure her and encourage her, but not push her; not make her feel guilty or obligated. What he hadn't realized until today, though, was just how much want reflected in her eyes, matching his own. She wanted kids, just like him. But she was scared._

 _"My mother... She was a really good mom," she tells him. "When I was a kid, she was always there, you know? I think that's what makes it hurt more that she left; that she didn't try to contact me again. That's what makes it scarier now, knowing someone can change so much."_

 _"You're not her," he said. "You make your own decisions."_

 _"I know." She sighed and leaned into him. "I'm trying to make a decision, Marty, I really am."_

 _He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "We still have plenty of time."_

00

For the rest of the week, Kensi is quieter than usual. Deeks doesn't push because he knows she's not trying to keep him out. She's only trying to work her own thoughts out in her head. At work, she puts on her agent mask, and he knows no one but him can tell there's anything on her mind. They continue to work at settling as partners, perfecting their new found form of banter. At home, though, she drops her mask and allows herself to be the real Kensi. He finds her pensive and still, staring into the distance more than once.

He wants _so_ much to make this better for her. He wants to hold her and promise everything is going to be okay. He wants to take away her pain and take away the stress of this decision that's been weighing on her mind for more than eight years.

But he knows he can't fix this. God knows he's tried. When they were younger and he didn't understand like he does now, he thought he could shoulder her pain with well-meaning words and promises.

But they've grown and matured together as they've built their life together. He understands her, now, as much as he knows her. And he knows this is her issue to work out. He can support her and listen when she brings it up and be her shoulder to cry on when she needs. But he can't fix her past. He can't rid her of the memories of her mother's abandonment and her father's death. He knows being in her life has been far more than a band aid for those wounds, just as she has been to his, but the memories persist.

Even reuniting with her mother didn't fix it. It helped, of course. But she's still gun shy.

So, he doesn't promise her a quick fix. And he doesn't promise everything will be okay. Because he can't ensure that.

But when he finds her forlorn and deep in thought, her brow furrowed and her eyes unfocused, he reminds her of the good in her life. The good she's an equal part of. He squeezes her shoulder. Or runs a hand down her spine as he presses a kiss to her forehead. Or passes a cup of hot chocolate into her hands.

She always responds to him, her eyes coming alive and her body softening to his presence.

"Hey," she murmurs, "Thanks." It's late Friday evening. They've already shared a quiet dinner. He had gone out after dinner to run a few errands and returned to find his wife - again - curled up on the couch, deep in thought. He had quickly set to bringing her a hot chocolate.

"I'm worried," he says quietly.

She sets the hot chocolate down on the coffee table and then tugs him down beside her. He wraps his arms around her middle and rests his chin on her shoulder.

"Don't be worried," she tells him. "I'm just...thinking."

He presses a kiss to the side of her head. "Been doing a lot of thinking."

"I know." She takes a deep breath and her body relaxes in his arms. "I've been trying to imagine what our life would be like."

He feels his heart quicken few a few beats. "With...kids?"

"With kids. Without kids. With kids if something happened to one of us."

He tightens his hold on her at that, not liking the idea of something happening to his wife. He signed up for forever. He's not about to let her go early.

She says nothing about his reaction, but stays quiet for a moment. "I'm still trying to... I just can't... I'm..." She sighs. "It's not that I don't want it, I just..."

"I know," he assures.

"I'm still trying to figure out my thoughts," she says quietly.

He presses another kiss to the side of her head. "We still have time."

00

On Saturday morning, they're scheduled to look at three houses with their realtor.

The first is a medium sized detached house on a relatively quiet street. They don't make it to the second or third house.

The house is a little older and showing some wear, but Deeks sees the potential the moment he sets foot inside. The main floor boasts a sizeable front hall, living room, dining room, kitchen and bathroom. All of the rooms are large and bright. The basement is partially finished, and large. There's plenty of room for their home gym. The second floor has the bedrooms, bathroom and a loft area at the top of the stairs that could be perfect for an office area. The master bedroom looks out into the fair sized back yard, and is complete with two closets and an en suite bathroom.

"I love it," Kensi says.

"Me, too."

Her smile grows.

"It needs a lot of work." She waves her hand and he knows she referring to the outdated wall paper, thinning carpets and outdated kitchen and bathrooms. "But if we do a lot of the work ourselves..."

"We can afford to fix it up," he finishes her thought.

"And Monty will love it," she adds.

He nods. "Big backyard for him."

"Big, old trees with lots of privacy."

"And a garage to store our surf boards."

"Not too far from the beach."

She laughs at his priorities. "Or work."

"You're sure it's this one?"

"I'm sure. I love everything about it. It's perfect for us."

"Then let's buy a house." He smiles and takes his wife's hand as they head to the main floor to find their realtor.

It doesn't hit him until their offer is accepted that his wife's idea of the perfect house for them has three bedrooms.

* * *

 _ **Thank you to everyone who continues to read and support this story! I love writing it and am happy I have more time now in RL to dedicate to it. I'm hoping you can take a moment to leave an opinion...**_

 _ **Looking for opinions:**_

 _ **Now that we're getting into the meat of season two, things are more different than season one because Kensi and Deeks are working together. So, this could change how I go about writing the story. Do you prefer the story to closely follow the episodes? Do you prefer to read the story of married Kensi and Deeks with mention of the episode storylines laid out by the show? Or do you prefer a combination of the two? (both episode based chapters and non-episode based chapters).**_


	33. Standoff

_**AN: I can't apologize enough for the continued delays in posting new chapters. I will thank everyone again for their continued supportive PMs and reviews in this stressful time. RL has unfortunately gone boom again. It seems to have settled down, and I have my fingers crossed it will stay that way.**_

 _ **I also wanted to recognize that this story has passed the six month mark (actually now close to seven, but this is the first chapter posted after six months... :)) So, thank you for all the amazing interest, feedback and support over the last six+ months, for following me through thirty three chapters so far and for 1k+ reviews.**_

* * *

Episode 2.06 - Standoff

Kensi looks up at the sound of the front door opening. It's at least an hour earlier than she expected her husband home from his night out with his friends, if not two hours.

Deeks lets himself into the apartment and immediately spots her. He unsuccessfully tries to bite back a smirk.

Monty jumps up and hurries to greet him, but then quickly returns to his spot at her side on the floor. He's been her faithful shadow for a good two hours, helping her to inspect and make important decisions.

"What, uh, what are we doing?" Deeks asks as he strolls across the living room and plops himself down beside her on the floor in the limited space available.

She makes a face. She had planned to have most of the boxes organized by the time he got home. Instead, he's returned when every box she had pulled from the storage closet is open and spread across the floor.

"Packing."

"Mmm." He nods. "You know, usually packing involves putting things into boxes, not taking things out."

She huffs and bumps his shoulder with hers. "I just thought...you know, now that we're moving into a real house and everything, that maybe I should...let go of some of this stuff." The things that were most important to them both were still being stored at her mother's house, in case of more break ins in their building. But some things had been brought back. And she had amassed boxes of other things over the years.

He twists beside her and presses a kiss to her cheek. "You know I don't have any expectation for you to get rid of a thing, right?"

"I know." She leans into him, and smiles when he wraps an arm around her waist. "I just..."

He wraps both arms around her and presses his lips to the side of her head. He 'hmms' against her softly, giving her time to organize her thoughts.

"I feel like we're getting...a fresh start," she tries to explain.

"I like the start we had," he says quietly, but immediately.

"I do, too," she assures. "I didn't...I'm not explaining this well." She pulls back only far enough that she can meet his eyes. "I've always loved our life together. And I love our past. But the last few years..."

"Were hard because of me being undercover," he finishes for her.

"Were hard because of the choices _we_ made," she corrects. She tugs him close to kiss him. "I don't regret a thing. And I didn't even realize how hard it was until the end. But when you were home, we never knew when you'd be pulled back undercover. And that felt...temporary. And then..." She trails off again.

He cocks his head. "And then?"

"I almost lost you," she whispers.

"Oh, Kens." He pulls her close again.

She welcomes the hug and closes her eyes. It's been two and a half months since his last undercover assignment ended and she doesn't think about it much anymore, but when she does, she still recalls the despair she had felt at not knowing if her husband was alive or dead.

"I'm here," he tells her.

"I know. You're here. And no more undercover. And we're getting our house next month. And we're working together. So many changes. Good changes."

He pulls back to meet her eyes and brushes her hair back from her face. "Like a fresh start," he echoes her earlier words, telling her he understands what she had been trying to say before.

"Yeah. I feel like I should be able to let go of the past."

He raises an eyebrow.

"Okay. Some of the past. Make room for new memories."

He pecks her on the lips. "You do what you want, here, Kens. But there will always be room for new memories, so don't let that be a deciding factor, okay?"

"Okay."

On her other side, Monty, who had been sitting patiently beside her, groans as he lays down, resting his chin on her thigh.

They both laugh.

"See, Monty agrees with me," Deeks says.

Monty thumps his tail at the sound of his name, but doesn't move otherwise.

Kensi pats the dog's head. "Monty's been a good help this evening. We've gone through three boxes already."

"Yeah?"

She nods. "Half of the stuff so far I don't need to keep."

He frowns slightly but says nothing.

"What?"

"I just...I know how much you like your things. I don't want you to be hasty and regret getting rid of things."

She rolls her eyes. "You are not allowed to call me a hoarder and then stop me from getting rid of stuff."

He chuckles, but sobers quickly. "I won't stop you," he promises. "But maybe box up what you want to get rid of and then wait a few days before actually getting rid of it? Just in case you change your mind?"

"Okay."

"Okay," he echoes with a smile.

"I found some good things, too," she tells him.

"Like what?"

She passes him a pile of photos. "These were in a box with old textbooks and notebooks from college."

He takes the photos and then smiles. "Wow, look how young we were."

She leans against his shoulder and looks on as he sifts through the photos. One from their first camping trip. Two more poses from their first hike together that didn't get chosen for the framed photo that sits out in their living room. Several from different parties and get-togethers over the years. One from the engagement party their friends had thrown for them. Some from their small wedding that weren't displayed. Her graduation and both of his. The day they moved out of their first shared apartment, with the empty room behind them and the boxes stacked high beside them.

"That looks kind of sad," he murmured.

"It was a good first place," she says. "Though, look how small it was."

"Tiny," he agrees.

He flips to the next photo and then laughs. "Best. Halloween. Costumes. Ever."

She turns her face part way into his bicep. "I was tempted to get rid of the evidence, but then I thought you would be too happy to see it, so I couldn't do it."

He picks the photo away from the pile and waves it back and forth, an almost dizzying array of red and white stripes. "Can we frame this?"

She sighs. "I knew I should have gotten rid of it..."

He turns his head and presses a kiss to hers. "I'd forgotten there was a photo of this."

"I guess it wasn't _that_ bad."

"I'm glad you feel that way. Cause I was thinking that we could have a repeat this year."

"No."

"And now that we have this photo, we can take a new one and put them in a frame beside each other," he says, ignoring her objection. He holds up the nine year old photo beside his face as he faces her. "Wouldn't that be awesome?"

She glares at him. "I want a divorce."

He laughs out loud. "No, you don't. You love me far too much for that. Maybe even enough to do this one thing for me..." He waves the photo again.

She can barely bite back a smile. "I'll think about it," she relents, knowing in all likelihood she'll end up giving in. She can't help it when he's being all adorable like this.

He kisses her quickly. "Thank you."

"I said I would think about. Not that I would do it."

He kisses her again. "I know."

She takes the photo from him and stares down at their younger selves. "And, yes, we can frame it. It is pretty awesome."

He hooks an arm around her waist. "And you know, we can take it into work. You can show it to Callen and Sam and be like 'hey, remember that costume I was telling you about that I wore with my college boyfriend? Here's a picture.'"

She laughs at the thought. "Yeah, that would be one way to tell them."

He chuckles, but presses a little closer as his laughter fades. "Any new thoughts on when you want to tell them?"

"Not really. I just want the four of us to be settled as a team first." She knows Callen and Sam will be surprised either way, but she'd rather they already accept Deeks before knowing who he really is to her.

"The team thing is kind of okay," he says, surprising her.

"You're getting used to it." She'd watched him stumble a bit at first, knowing he wasn't used to working as a team, but as the weeks had slowly turned into months, he'd begun to settle in.

"I am. Working together towards the same goal. Maybe even starting to trust Callen and Sam."

"That's really good, Marty. I think they're starting to trust you, too."

"In the field, yes."

"What is that supposed to mean?" She frowns.

He takes a breath. "Just that I think they're starting to accept that I know what I'm doing and I'm not about to get you killed in the field. But personally, I don't know that we're ever going to get very far."

"Marty..."

"No," he cuts her off before she can say anything further. "It's okay. This is better than what I had at times at LAPD. They usually respect my abilities now. And more often than not, they're cordial. Just... If your plan is to wait until they accept me like they accept you, you need to know that's just not going to happen."

"It could," she hears herself insist.

"I love you for thinking that," he tells her. "But while you are a charming, beautiful and talented federal agent, I'm just the liaison."

She tugs the pile of photos from his fingers, places the photo of them dressed as Waldo and Wenda on top, and then places them on the floor. Then she shifts and swings her leg around so she's straddling his knees. "In my opinion, the only term you just said that you don't meet the criteria for is federal agent."

His hands find her hips as he playfully bats his eyelashes. "You really think I'm beautiful?"

She kisses him. "Well, handsome." She kisses him again. "And hot." Another kiss. "Sexy."

"Somehow, I don't think being sexy will win me points with Callen and Sam."

She huffs against his lips. "Can you not talk about Callen and Sam when we're doing this?"

"Right, sorry."

"They'll warm up more," she assures. "Let's just wait a little longer, okay? Just a few more months, maybe? And then-"

"I thought we weren't talking about this?"

"Right." She presses her lips soundly to his.

He kisses her back, but when he tries to shift his legs for a better position, he hits a box. He groans and wraps one arm around her waist to secure her to him as he uses his other hand on the floor beside himself to move backwards.

"No, there's-" She tries to stop him first, but is quickly cut off when he bumps into another box.

He grumbles and makes to move the box.

"No, don't touch it!" She pecks his lips quickly. "I know what boxes I've gone through and what ones I haven't..."

He smiles adoringly at her for a moment before they both look at the only remaining section of the living room floor that is not strewn with boxes. Instead, Monty is stretched out, now asleep. And behind them, the couch has several piles of things.

"So, bedroom," he says lightly.

She laughs and kisses him one more time before lifting herself off his lap and onto her feet. He's quick to follow.

The bed is, thankfully, clear and ready for them. Kensi playfully shoves her husband onto the bed and then climbs back into his lap, so they are basically in the same position as they had started on the living room floor.

"Much better," she announces.

"Agreed." He kisses her softly and then pulls back to brush some hair from her eyes. "For the record, I'll support whatever you want to do with your things," he tells her.

She sits back on his knees and smiles at him. "I know."

"I'm excited about our fresh start, too."

She makes a face. "Now I don't like that term."

He huffs a laugh. "You're the one who called it that."

"I know, but now that I hear it from you, I don't like it."

"New chapter?"

She considers it and then shakes her head. "Too cliché."

He kisses her. "We'll think of something to call it."

"Cause we're both excited for it."

"Yes, we are. Very excited."

00

In the morning, they continue to joke about taking the photo into work to show Callen and Sam.

"We'll come up with a good way to tell them, when the time is right," he assures as they walk out to their cars together.

"I know." She stops at her car and sighs. "It'll be nice when we don't have to drive into work separately."

"We could just drive in together and tell them today," he says lightly. "I could run back up and grab the picture."

She laughs and kisses him. "Not yet."

He kisses her back and then turns for his own car. "See you at work."

She's halfway to work when she realizes he wasn't entirely joking. She gets to work fifteen minutes before him; it's his turn to stop on the way in their continued attempt to throw off Callen and Sam. And then they're called up for a case before she can talk to him at all.

And, as it turns out, a marriage is exposed at work.

Just not theirs.

"You know her?" Sam asks his partner as Callen stares up at a still shot of a dark haired woman who has taken hostages at a Navy recruitment centre on the big screen in OPs.

"She's my ex-wife," Callen answers.

"Your what?" Kensi hears herself say before she can stop herself. Beside her, Deeks coughs quietly with his own reaction.

Callen turns away from the screen to face the team. "We were in the CIA. We went undercover as husband and wife."

"So, she wasn't your real wife?"

Callen shoots her a look, which is clearly supposed to say he agrees, but she sees a flash of something she is probably not supposed to see.

"Anything we should know?" Sam asks.

"She's smart," Callen answers. "And not just good grades smart. I mean other-level intelligence. Her IQ's over 140."

"Mmm, not that smart," Nell speaks up for the first time. "She must have missed the sniper awareness course." She points to the big screen where the news feed playing is showing the woman peeking out from the windows of the recruitment centre.

"Nell's right," Kensi agrees. "She's putting herself at risk of a sniper's bullet with all that window gawking."

"Almost like she's posing for the cameras," Sam suggests.

"She seems way too hot for you," Deeks adds.

Kensi huffs at her partner. "Seriously?"

"What? I'm just saying."

"You keep in touch?" Sam asks Callen, ignoring Deeks.

"No. She retired, last I heard. That was five years ago."

"Undercover agents don't retire, they just go deeper," Hetty announces as she steps into the room. "The real question is, if she retired five years ago, why is she doing this now?"

Callen stares at the screen for a long moment before nodding to himself. "Because that's a Navy recruitment centre and somehow she's figured out I'm NCIS." He turns back to the team again. "She's trying to contact me."

00

Kensi and Deeks drive out to the scene together.

The moment the car doors are shut and they're on the road, she shoots him a quick look. "She's too hot for him? Really, Marty?"

He shrugs. "What?."

"If you want to help make things better between you and Callen and Sam, maybe you don't make those kinds of comments?"

"They have no problem making those kinds of comments towards me," he snaps back at her.

His tone takes her by surprise and she loses track of whatever she was going to say.

"I'm just meeting their behaviour and level," he adds, taking advantage of her silence.

She meets his eyes when she pulls the car to a stop at a red light. His eyes look fierce and protective of his actions, but behind that he's vulnerable and in need of her support.

The light turns green. She hits the gas and holds out her right hand to him. She waits until he's threaded their fingers together to speak. "You're right," she tells him softly. "I'm sorry." She squeezes his hand. She wants so badly for the four of them to be a team, for Callen and Sam to accept him so they can come clean about their marriage. But she knows she can't ask him to sacrifice who he is and needs to be for that to happen faster.

"I'm sorry, too," he offers quietly. "I'll try to be-"

"No," she cuts him off. "Don't change anything. You're a good man and a good partner. If they can't see that, it's their fault."

He squeezes her hand and stays silent.

"And you were right."

"Hmm?"

"She does look too hot for him."

He laughs out loud. "Have I told you today how much I love you?"

00

Once on scene Deeks manages to convince (blackmail) the LAPD detective in charge into allowing Callen entrance to the recruitment centre. His former partner, Tracy, claims that she's being hunted by a white supremacist group. She provides the location for a member she had killed in her attempt to keep herself alive. When they go to investigate, Kensi and Deeks find a dead FBI agent instead. Tracy claims several FBI agents were involved in a plot to sell weapons to the white supremacist group, and are also trying to take her out.

Not knowing if they can believe Tracy, the team sneaks her out of the recruitment centre in the confusion of a SWAT team attempting to breach the building, getting her away from the LAPD and FBI at the same time.

Once safely in the boatshed, Callen and Sam interrogate Tracy for as much information as possible while Kensi and Deeks watch the video feed outside the room.

"There's no love lost there anymore, huh?" Kensi comments.

He nods. "It seems like he felt something, even if it was a long time ago."

She swallows. "You think that's because it was them, or because of our line of work?"

He meets her eyes evenly. "Both, probably. But they would have started with so many lies between them. Set them up for failure."

"Not like us," she says, hearing the words he didn't vocalize.

"Not like us," he echoes.

"Ten years and still going strong," she says. They've passed the tenth anniversary of their first meeting and they're just days away from the tenth anniversary of their first date.

He smiles softly at her. "Ten years."

"What's ten years?" Sam asks, surprising them both.

Kensi snaps her head to face the senior partners as they make their way out of the interrogation room and towards Kensi and Deeks. She opens her mouth, but no words come out.

"The ten year rule," Deeks says smoothly.

"Which is?" Sam prompts.

"You should always know your partner for at least ten years prior to marrying them."

Callen and Sam both scoff.

Kensi almost laughs. In another ten years, they'll have been married for eighteen years.

Deeks is smirking at her when he plays it up with, "You date me for a decade, you deserve my hand in marriage."

She smirks back at him. "That sounds so much more like a punishment than a reward."

He scrunches his nose slightly, but smiles at her, impressed with her comeback in front of the team. He turns back to Callen, "Seriously, man, consider it for next time you're thinking of tying the knot. Maybe we avoid this kind of situation..." He motions to the video screen, which shows a very angry looking Tracy.

"I'll keep that in mind," Callen says dryly.

"What do you know about relationships?" Sam adds with a huff.

Kensi feels her breath catch as the tone of the room changes suddenly. She holds her breath, ready to defend her husband and relationship if the need arises.

But Deeks shows his skills in handling these situations again. "Why do you want to know? Is this your way of asking if I'm single?" He holds his hand to his chest. "Sam, I'm flattered, really, but you're just not my type."

Sam huffs and turns away from them.

"Sam, no, don't be upset, it's not you, it's me!"

Kensi can't help but laugh out loud, and even catches Callen chuckling at his partner's discomfort.

00

After deciding it's worth the risk of trusting Tracy in order to get a shipment of stolen weapons off the street, they have Tracy set up a meeting with a supposedly dirty FBI agent.

The FBI agent picks the beach.

Kensi and Deeks are sent undercover as a couple soaking up some rays on the beach.

After pulling a wheeled cooler across the sand as Deeks carried a beach bag and umbrella, they work together to lay out towels and set up what would look like a comfortable space for a young couple to share for the day. Thankfully, they are well practiced in this.

Kensi slips off her tee shirt, revealing her bikini top.

Her husband's eyes flash as he looks at her.

She sends him a warning look. Both Callen and Sam are also in the area, and they are all wearing earwigs which connect them to each other and to OPs.

' _Hot,'_ he mouths.

' _Thanks,'_ she mouths back.

He pulls off his own shirt and she finds herself momentarily distracted by his bare chest.

He sends her a look and she raises an eyebrow in return. She lets her gaze drop down and then back up, before licking her lips.

He huffs. "Okay, you can't do that."

 _"Can't do what?" Callen's voice sounds immediately in both their ears._

He makes a face. "Kensi's getting sand all over the towels," he answers. "And seeing as we could be here _all day_ we should be trying to _stay comfortable_."

She bites back a laugh, but nods, telling him she'll behave.

 _"Would you two just stop fooling around and get into position?"_ Sam's voice come over the coms.

Kensi and Deeks look at each other in surprise, both trying not to laugh at the double meaning behind Sam's words.

"Just...don't say it," Kensi says.

"Too easy," Deeks says.

Apparently Callen and Sam are choosing to ignore them, because neither say anything further.

Kensi reaches out for Deeks's arm, using him for balance as she slips off her sandals; a long practiced move on her part. She then unzips her jean shorts and slides them down her legs so she's only in her bikini.

Deeks sits up against the cooler while she lies on her front beside him.

"Okay, go ahead. You know you want to say it," she tells him.

He smirks at her before announcing, "We are in position."

They spend the better part of an hour waiting and establishing their cover. It's actually quite pleasant. Deeks is sitting up and pretending to read a book, but Kensi rests her chin on her forearms and stares out at the ocean. It's been too long since they've done this and she's looking forward to spending some real time at the beach with her husband soon.

Without Callen and Sam nearby. And without the earwigs. And without a meet about to go down.

Eventually Tracy makes her way down to the shore and sits. She appears uncaring and stress free, clearly having been good at her job as an undercover operative.

She's also singing.

Kensi and Deeks exchange a look as they both hear indistinct notes of humming coming over their comms.

"What is she singing?" Kensi finally asks.

Deeks shrugs.

 _"Our wedding song,"_ Callen answers over the comms. _"Lee Williams and the Cymbals."_

 _"You got married to Lee Williams and the Cymbals?"_ Sam asks.

 _"Hey, it was a fake wedding,"_ Callen defends.

Deeks hums a few notes of a very familiar song, making Kensi smile. He smiles back at her and reaches to brush his hand over her back.

She sighs at the contact. Yup, they really need a real beach day that can't be interrupted by-

The sound of an ATV catches her attention and she spots the dirty FBI agent on his way across the sand to meet Tracy.

"He's here," she announces to the team.

00

The meet on the beach leads them to a meet in a container yard. At the end of the day, everyone is tired, but the weapons are secured and the team is safe. Callen and Sam have headed for the airport to catch a flight to the Cayman Islands. Tracy, though she had helped them secure the weapons, had account codes for the payments made by an arms dealer for the weapons. NCIS had let her go on purpose in order to have her clear the money. Now she had to be taken into custody and the money recovered.

"Did Callen and Sam catch their flight okay?" Kensi asks as she steps into OPs. Eric, as usual when any of the team was still operational, is still at his desk. Less of a surprise than it had been at first, Nell is also still present. The intelligence analyst has proven herself dedicated and is slowly working herself onto Hetty's good side.

"Just boarded," Eric answers.

"They'll stay close to Tracy and move in when she clears the money."

Kensi nods and runs a hand through her hair. "I wish they weren't going alone."

"They said they'd be fine," Nell tries to help.

Eric gives her a knowing look. He may not be a field agent, but he understands how she feels when the team is separated. "It was hard enough getting Hetty to agree to sending two agents, let alone four."

She almost smiles at his words, finding she enjoys that it is a given now that if she goes somewhere, then Deeks goes, too. "I know. Just... If there are any issues with the extraction, Deeks and I are on the next plane down there, okay?"

Eric nods. "Of course."

"And don't make yourself sick staying here all night. Go home and get some sleep. Both of you. It'll be at least a day before she clears the money."

"Only if you follow your own advice," Eric says.

"Agreed."

"Deeks already gone?"

"No. He's finishing some paperwork. Case had a lot of overlap with the LAPD, so they want a report, too."

"Of course."

"Speaking of Deeks," Nell speaks up, "Can I just say wow?"

Kensi stifles any and all reaction that threatens to take place. "Uh, wow?"

Nells nods. "We watched the beach meet on video feed. He's not my type, but with that chest and those arms, I could make an exception..."

Kensi exhales slowly, trying to decide exactly how she's supposed to deal with this situation. And also swallowing down the small but irrational sense of possessiveness that swells at the knowledge that another woman was looking at her husband.

"Sorry," Nell says quickly when Kensi doesn't respond. "I know he's your partner. And this is probably highly inappropriate." She swallows hard. "It won't happen again."

"It's okay," she says. She and Nell have slowly been building what might one day be a friendship and she doesn't want to destroy that. "And you're right. That chest and those arms..." She raises an eye brow and then she and Nell share a smile.

"Oh...God. I don't want to hear this." Eric groans and turns back to his computer.

Kensi laughs.

"But he's your partner," Nell adds.

She meets Nell's eyes evenly. She gets the impression from previous conversations with Nell that it's not a good idea to lie outright. "He is my partner."

She stares at Kensi for a long moment before nodding slowly. "Okay."

00

Three days later, Tracy clears the money and Callen and Sam take her into custody without complication.

Kensi breathes a sigh of relief as she and Deeks pack up together at the end of their work day. "I'm so glad this case is finally over. I hate when the team is separated."

"I noticed," he says dryly.

She shoots him a look and he chuckles.

"At least it's over before the weekend," he offers.

"That I am very glad about," she tells him with a broad smile.

"I'm sorry I can't take you on that tropical vacation right now," he tells her. "But hopefully this will be enough for now."

"I'm sure it will be perfect," she assures him. "I wish we could have our vacation now, too. It's just..."

"It would look too suspicious if we took vacation time at the same time?"

"Exactly. But one day."

"One day," he echoes.

"Soon," she adds.

He smiles softly at her.

She smiles back. "You ready to go?"

"Yeah. You?"

She nods.

They walk out together and get into their respective cars. They drive to their apartment in tandem and park. Then she gets out of her car with her shoulder bag in tow, locks her car and gets into the passenger seat of his.

"Ready?"

"Yup. Everything is packed in your trunk. Monty's with my mom. Callen and Sam are out of the country, so we're off duty for the weekend. Let's go celebrate our anniversary."

He leans across the centre of the car to kiss her. "I love you, you know that?"

She kisses him back. "I love you, too. For ten years now."

He beams back at her. They don't normally celebrate the anniversary of their first date, but being the tenth, they felt it was worth celebrating this year. They'd rented a cabin on the beach in a tourist town two hours outside the city for Friday and Saturday night.

"Ten years..." He breathes. "That seems like so long and so little at the same time."

"More than a third of my life," she offers.

"Just about a third of mine," he says.

She reaches for his hand, but withdraws hers before he can accept.

"Ten years together and eight years of marriage, and this is how it's going to be?" He jokes. "We don't hold hands anymore?"

She rolls her eyes as she pulls her shoulder bag into her lap and reaches into the inside zippered pocket for the small jewellery pouch she had placed there that morning. "I want these first," she explains, pulling out her wedding and engagement rings and placing them onto her finger.

"Me, too," he insists.

She smiles as she passes his ring to him. She puts the pouch back into her bag and then reaches for his hand again.

"Much better," she says.

He squeezes her hand. "Glad we can still do this. Glad ten years together and eight years of marriage doesn't mean we can't still hold hands."

She laughs at his purposeful sappiness. "Ten years together, eight years of marriage and just about three months of partnership definitely does not mean we cannot hold hands."

He chuckles. "Nice."

"Though, according to you, there's another nine years and nine and a half months before we can get married..."

He chuckles again and runs his hand through his hair. "You remember that comment, huh?"

"Little bit."

"That was just, you know, for Callen and Sam's benefit."

"Sure."

"Maybe that's how we should tell them. Keep it a secret until then and then invite them to a wedding, and be like, surprise, we've been married for eighteen years!"

She snorts a laugh. "You're an idiot."

He laughs, too, and drops her hand long enough to steer the car out of the parking lot and onto the road. "You don't think we could keep the secret that long?"

"No, I think we could. Callen and Sam are being surprisingly - and worryingly - dense. But I don't want to keep our secret that long. Plus, what would we be inviting them to, exactly? We can't exactly get married again."

He purses his lips. "Uh...vow renewal? People do that, right? _I still take thee as my lawfully wedded wife_ and all that."

She cracks a smile at the thought. "We're telling them way sooner than that."

"Okay."

"But... The vow renewal thing may actually be nice...you know, one day."

"Really?"

She feels herself blush ever so slightly. "Not anytime soon. But maybe something to think about in the future?"

"Hey, I'd marry you a hundred times, Kens."

"No regrets?"

"Not even one."

"Me neither." She squeezes his hand. "I'm so glad you came looking for me."

"Well, I'm glad you found me on that bench."

She smiles softly, but sobers quickly. "You ever wonder what would have happened if we hadn't found each other again?"

He shakes his head. "No."

"Really?"

"It doesn't matter. We found each other. We're here, together. That's what matters. That's what's worth focusing on."

She nods, soothed by his confidence. "That is what's important."

"Do you think about it a lot?"

"Not a lot," she tells him. "Only this time a year, really." She pauses for a moment. "I remember how afraid I was, but also how mad I was at myself for running from you..."

00

 _She sensed he was on the verge of asking her something personal again. Or asking for her number. Or asking her out. Regardless, he would be asking for something she could not give. She took a step back._

 _His expression faltered slightly. "Everything okay?"_

 _She glanced at her wrist, looking for a watch that wasn't even there. "I, uh, have to get going. I have...class."_

 _His expression fell further. They both knew she was lying. It was too early for class. "Okay," he said, giving her an easy out to take._

 _She hesitated, half wanting to stay, but her heart was thudding painfully in her chest, igniting her flight instinct. "I'll, uh, see you?"_

 _His eyes lit up ever so slightly. "Yeah?"_

 _"Uh, yeah, I hope- Maybe?" She sucked in a breath and offered him a quick smile. "Bye." She turned and hurried away, feeling his eyes on her back as her heart continued to thud painfully in her chest._

 _She didn't stop moving until she was outside and out of sight. She leaned against a tree, breathing hard, eyes closed. "Stupid," she berated herself. She opened her eyes and stared back towards the building she had run from. He would still be there if she could only make her feet move. But what would she say to him?_

 _"Really stupid," she mumbled. She ran a hand over her face. She pushed herself away from the tree and began to head back towards her dorm room. She could only hope she hadn't just made a huge mistake._

00

"We would have found each other again," he says with confidence, pulling her from the memory.

"You think so?"

"I know so." He squeezes her hand. "This is too right not to happen, Kens."

"I really hope you're right."

He stops the car at a red light and shoots her a concerned look. "You don't seriously still feel bad about taking off on me...?"

She hesitates for a moment. "Only this time of year."

He tugs her closer and leans across the centre console to kiss her. "Kens, that's crazy. You were barely eighteen. And we found each other."

A horn blares behind them, letting them know the light has turned green. Deeks waves a hand in apology and moves the car forward.

"I just remember this sense of regret, like I knew I'd just run from something important."

"We would have found each other eventually," he insists. "At a party, at school, at the gym..."

"And if we didn't?"

"Through work."

"How?"

He nods, eyes still on the road. "May have taken a lot longer, but we actually bumped into each other while we were both undercover. That still would have happened."

She huffs a laugh. "You actually think that still would have happened?"

"Why not?"

"I don't know that I would have made it to NCIS without you to cheer me on. And would you have become a cop or would you still be a lawyer?"

"First of all, you absolutely would have made it to NCIS," he insists. "And if I was still a lawyer, we could have met on a case. It would have happened."

"I'm glad you're so confident."

"Ten years, Kens. We work for a reason."

"We do work," she agrees.

"And now we have a vow renewal to plan in nine years and nine and a half months..."

She laughs. "Or, at some less specific point in time..." She thinks ahead five years, ten years, twenty years. Wonders if and when they may go through with a vow renewal ceremony. She imagines another small, simple ceremony. She imagines their college friends, along with the co-workers she now thinks of as family and hopes he will, too, one day. She sees her mother there this time. Her heart skips a beat when she realizes she also imagines kids standing beside them. _Their kids_.

She swallows hard and squeezes his hand.

"You okay?"

"Fine," she says as both want and fear duel it out in her head and her heart.

He squeezes her hand back. "We have lots of time to figure things out," he says softly, his words able to be taken as being meant about vow renewal planning. But she knows better. Every time they talk about kids, he says the same thing. He always tells her they have time. Somehow he knows exactly where her mind has taken her.

She glances at him as he focuses on the road. He always seems to know what she's thinking. Just as she knows what he's thinking.

She smiles to herself. "You're right," she says out loud. "We would have found each other no matter what. We work too well not to be together."

* * *

 _AN: I have my fingers crossed that RL will allow me to get back to a much more regular posting schedule. I'm way behind on my PMs (sorry!), but think I'm caught up to the last chapter on review responses._

 _For those who have asked, the wedding will be featured in a flashback sometime during 'season 2' so it's coming up. If anyone has an idea for an ideal wedding song that 20 year old Kensi and 23 year old Deeks would have picked in 2002, I am happy to hear suggestions._

 _Also, thanks for everyone who left opinions on the last chapter. I'm starting to map out some lesser parts of season 2 now, and am looking for some additional feedback if you're willing... Director Vance comes in for the end of season 2 (and beginning of season 3). When he was last present, Deeks wasn't, so whether or not he knew about Kensi/Deeks was a moot point. I'm wondering on opinions as to whether readers want him to already know about, not know about or potentially find out about the marriage? (And this is regardless of who else knows at this point...)_


	34. Anonymous

_**AN: I know this is becoming repetitive, but sorry for the delay and thank you so much for the continued patience and support with this story. RL is somewhat better, and I'm hoping it will continue to improve so I can get back to regular updates. I'm excited to move forward at a faster pace and tell this story, so please don't worry about my commitment to finishing this. As of this chapter, the story has surpassed 200k words!**_

 _ **I'm woefully behind on both PMs and reviews, and for that I apologize. I really do appreciate every one! And I hope to have time to catch up this week. That being said, I've noticed several people have asked about their first meeting (which would happen immediately before the flashback in the previous chapter). For clarification, it has not been included in the story yet. It is written (actually, it's the only scene I've written ahead of time) but due to its importance, I want it in the right chapter. I was initially planning to wait until the end of the story, but now I'm think it'll be featured in season 2. Also, as a few have noticed, there have been a number of hints about this scene.**_

* * *

Episode 2.07 - Anonymous

Kensi sighs when she catches sight of her reflection in the window. Now that it's dark outside, the window is acting like a mirror. She makes a face and turns away. "Why did I agree to this?" She mumbles to herself.

Her scruffy companion glances at her, his eyes imploring.

"We could make a run for it," she suggests.

Her companion, wearing a red and white striped shirt to match hers, cocks his head and gives her a look.

She sighs. "I know. You're having fun. _I_ could make a run for it..." She makes an empty threat.

"Hey, Kay-Kay!" Tiffani calls as she arrives in a flourish of energy. She's dressed as a chef, her usual Halloween costume of choice. "You look great! Both of you. Aren't you adorable in your matching costumes..."

"Not my idea," Kensi says immediately.

Tiffani laughs. "Oh, right. This is the costume Marty has been talking about for a while. I remember you wearing it in college."

Kensi pulls her phone out of her pocket to pull up a photo she had taken of the now framed old photo of her and Marty dressed in their Waldo and Wenda Halloween costumes exactly nine years earlier.

Tiffani laughs as she takes the phone and looks at the picture. "Wow! You look so young." She exchanges a look with Kensi. "I wish we could go back and be that young again."

Kensi smiles. "Sometimes, I do, too."

"I'd do so many things differently..." Tiffani says, staring off into space for a long moment.

Kensi reaches for her friend's forearm and squeezes reassuringly, knowing exactly where her mind has gone. "I think you did everything you could, Tiff. There was nothing you could have done differently or _better_."

Tiffani smiles at her. "I hope you're right. There was a time when I thought we'd all found our forever guys. But only you and Marty made it out of college."

Kensi offers her friend a soft smile, not apologizing for her own happiness, but knowing Tiffani is still stinging from the abandonment of her fiancé nearly six years earlier.

Tiffani looks up at her and shakes her head. "I am happy for you," she says with an apologetic smile. "You and Marty are pretty perfect for each other, and I'm glad you're both so happy."

"Thanks, Tiff." She pulls her friend into a one armed hug. "You'll find your forever guy."

Tiffani sniffs and nods. "I know."

"How are the plans for the shop coming?" Kensi asks, changing the subject.

"Great!" Tiffani lights up. "If all goes to plan, I'll be opening sometime next year."

"That's awesome, Tiff. And I can guarantee you I will be a regular customer."

"A regular customer where?" Marty asks as he appears at her side, his red and white striped shirt matching hers. He passes her a bottle of beer.

"At Tiff's cupcake shop when she opens it next year."

He rolls his eyes in good nature. "Of course you will." He turns to Tiffani. "You know if you were opening a health food store, you'd never see her, right?"

"We all have our vices, Marty," Tiffani says.

He smiles. "Nice to see you, Tiff."

"You, too. Though, I thought maybe you weren't here? Isn't Monty filling in for you as Waldo?" She motions to Monty, who, like his people, is wearing a red and white striped shirt and matching hat. Deeks somehow even got him to wear glasses frames.

"He's not Waldo," Deeks says with an exaggerated huff. "He's Woof."

Tiffani blinks and looks to Kensi. "Woof?"

Kensi sighs and looks at the very patient, and somehow happy, dog at her side, and then looks back to her friend. "Waldo has a dog named Woof."

"He's an addition to our costume from last time," Marty adds. "Ooh, speaking of which, can you take a picture for us?" He pulls a camera from his pocket and offers it to Tiffani.

"Sure." She takes the camera.

Despite pretending to be barely going along with this whole thing, Kensi can't help but find her husband's enthusiasm contagious. She leans into him when he wraps an arm around her waist, smiling as Monty sits up in front of their legs, posing for the picture.

Tiffani takes one shot and then pauses. "So, there's Waldo. And his girlfriend, Wenda. And his dog, Woof," she says.

"Yes," Deeks answers.

"I get that you're repeating a costume and everything, but it's a little weird..."

"What's weird?"

"That you're making your wife dress up as your girlfriend," Tiffani says.

"Wh-" Deeks begins to mutter, only to have Tiffani take a picture. "That's not... I mean..."

Still tucked in beside him, Kensi can't help but laugh, knowing their friend is only baiting him.

"Kens, no, I just wanted..." He trails off, his attention on her as his voice goes up that octave that tells her he thinks he could be in trouble. Monty turns his attention from Tiffani to them and jumps up, one paw on each of them as he tries to determine if the situation requires his assistance.

She keeps laughing and turns to half bury her face against his upper arm as she reaches a hand to reassure the dog. She feels Marty's breath against her forehead when Tiffani takes another picture.

She turns her head and exchanges a quick glance with her friend before turning to her husband. She presses a kiss to his lips. "She's messing with you," she tells him.

Deeks glances at Tiffani and then back to Kensi. She kisses him again. She pats Monty and then gently shoves him back so he's not resting against them.

"I didn't think about the implication," he tells her. "I just wanted a fun repeat."

"I know. And as long as there are no creepy frat guys walking around as a mis-representation of the Rat Pack, I am happy to be here with you, Waldo."

"The Rat Pack!" Tiffani exclaims as she steps forward to return the camera. "I spent that whole night wondering what those idiots were supposed to be dressed up as..."

00

Two days after Halloween, Kensi drives into work alone. It's the first Tuesday of the month, so her husband is headed into his precinct to see Bates for his monthly meeting.

She gets in early and heads for the gym. She spends the better part of an hour on the treadmill before Callen and Sam appear, bickering as always. She leaves them on the treadmills as she does some weights. She then heads into the locker room for some water and when she returns, the senior partners are sparring on the mat with practice knives.

She stands back and watches with amusement as they both struggle to get an upper edge on the other. She knows they're both skilled fighters, but she also knows they've been partners for a long time; possibly too long to be good sparring partners for each other because they know each other so well.

After ten minutes, they've had enough. Callen tosses her his knife, which she catches easily. "You're up, Kens."

"No case?" She knows it must be getting close to start time.

"Eric will come and get us if there is," Callen assures. "It's been a while since we've trained as a team. We need to get back into it."

Kensi nods and steps onto the mat towards Sam. She switches on her practice knife, watching as Sam does the same. The blades are soft, so the impact itself doesn't injure, but as soon as the blade makes contact, it delivers a shock.

"It has been a while since we've trained as a team," Sam echoes his partner as he and Kensi begin circling each other. "Speaking of which, where is Deeks?"

Kensi bites back a smile at Sam's words, happy that the senior agent has referred to Deeks as part of the team.

"Monthly meeting at his precinct," Kensi answers. "It's the first Tuesday of the month."

"That's right," Sam says. Then he laughs. "Too bad. Would have been fun to kick his ass in this."

Kensi feels her happiness at what she had thought to be progress fall away. She moves in quickly and aggressively. She fakes him out to the right and then successfully makes contact with his right arm to her left. He retaliates quickly, but she ducks and backs out of his reach.

Sam makes a face that is half disappointed in himself and half proud of her.

"You never know," she says as they begin to circle again.

"Never know what?"

"About Deeks. Maybe he'd be good at this?" She knows her husband is quick on his feet, but probably doesn't have much experience sparring with knives. She wonders if she could work with him, teach him, but knows that even if she could convince him to fight against her at all, they'd probably have the same issues as Callen and Sam. They're just too familiar with each other.

Sam scoffs. Behind him, she catches sight of Callen doing the same.

Sam takes advantage of her distraction. He moves in and tags her with the knife. But he's not fast enough to get out of her space. She tags him twice before he can back away.

"Nice move, Kens," Callen calls. "If you hadn't let yourself get distracted, you would have had him three times."

Thinking she is distracted by Callen again, Sam moves in once more. She sidesteps him and tags him on the back as she moves away from him.

Callen laughs.

Sam turns back to face her.

They continue to spar for another fifteen minutes, with Kensi clearly having the upper hand.

"Watch his shoulders, he's telegraphing," Callen calls as he continues to watch on, clearly enjoying witnessing his partner taken down a few pegs.

Kensi focuses her attention on Sam's shoulders and accurately reads his next move. She spins around him when he moves in and tags him on the back. Again.

"Great. Now, circle to his outside," Callen instructs Kensi.

"I thought we were partners," Sam calls back.

"We are, but I'm having second thoughts," Callen calls back easily.

Sam moves in aggressively. Kensi blocks and takes a swing with her knife, which Sam dodges. They both struggle for a moment, before they both back up, neither having gotten a tag in.

"What do you say, Kens?" Callen calls. "Want to switch partners?"

"Not a chance," Sam calls back before she can answer. "You are not sticking me with Deeks."

Kensi moves in again. She knows Sam expects her to fake, so his defenses aren't at full strength when she actually hits him at full strength without faking. She tags him on the shoulder, swings down to tag him on the thigh and then spins and tags his back as she moves around him and out of his space.

"I'm happy with my partner," she calls to Callen, her focus still on Sam, knowing the senior agent will be looking for any weakness possible when he retaliates for her move. "And why would I want to be your partner? Clearly you aren't challenging enough to keep Sam, here, up to par."

Callen whistles appreciatively. "I do what I can with the Big Guy. I can't be held responsible for his lack of athletic prowess."

Sam shoots a glare at his partner. "Do you really want to talk about athletic prowess?"

Kensi takes advantage of his distraction. She moves in and tags him. This time when she goes to spin around him, he follows her move, grabs her arm and flips her. She lands on her back, makes a move to roll away, but can't because he's still holding her arm. She's still holding the knife with her other hand and swings it up towards his very upper thigh as he brings his knife down towards her chest. They both pause with their knives just inches away from their intended targets.

He smirks at her, challenging.

She raises an eyebrow. "Don't think I won't do it."

His smirk fades and he nods, standing upright and offering her a hand up. "Let's call this round a tie."

"Alright," she walks past him and tags him on the shoulder as she goes.

She catches sight of her husband across the gym floor about the same time Callen does.

"What's up, Deeks?" Callen calls.

Deeks is still dressed the way he had been last time she had seen him, first thing that morning when he left for his precinct. He meets her eyes from across the room with an expression she can't quite decipher and then drags his gaze to Callen. "Uh..." He motions behind himself, in the direction of OPs. "We've got a shooting at the Federal Building." He moves towards them, his gaze decidedly anywhere but Kensi. "What are you kids doing in here?"

Kensi frowns slightly at her husband's odd behavior. "Training," she answers first, wanting to see if she can get his attention on her.

His eyes flicker to her and then back to Callen. "For what? Pirate fest?"

Callen shrugs. "Well, you're welcome to challenge Captain Blye anytime you want. She just bested Sam ten to three."

"Yeah, I saw that." His gaze flickers to Kensi again, this time for a beat longer, before moving away.

Kensi watches as Callen and Sam head out of the gym for the locker room. She approaches her husband, who finally settles his gaze on her and- _Oh_. Now she recognizes that look. His gaze is searing as his eyes take her in. She suddenly realizes she's wearing tight workout pants and a sports bra only.

Deeks swallows hard.

She clears her throat. "How was your meeting? It was short this month, huh? You're not usually back until later in the day."

He coughs a laugh. "My meeting? You're asking about my meeting when you're standing there looking like...that...?"

"Marty," she breathes his name.

"You look so incredibly sexy right now."

She feels herself cant towards him, but waves him off when he reaches for her. "We're at work."

He exhales slowly. "I knew you had skills, but to see you fighting like that..."

"Yeah?"

He nods emphatically. "Yeah."

"Well, maybe I'll teach you..." She waves the practice knife for emphasis.

His eyes sparkle. "I would be a very good student."

She rolls her eyes. "That is very corny."

He chuckles anyway and reaches for the knife. "This is cool. Good for practice, yeah?" He pokes at the soft blade with his finger. "I wish we had something like that at the LAPD when I was training."

"Well, you know you're welcome to use anything here."

He holds the knife up, his attention on the handle. "What is this?"

"What?"

"Oh, does it make noise?"

She frowns as she watches him aim the knife down at his own arm, realizing too late her had found the on switch.

"No! Marty-"

"Owe!" He exclaims as the knife delivers a solid shock to his forearm. He stares down at the offending knife in shock and then turns his attention to her.

She's doing her best not to laugh. "It doesn't make a noise," she whispers. "It...it delivers a shock."

"So, I noticed." He rubs his arm. "That _really_ hurt!"

Kensi does laugh. "I'm sorry. I'm... Don't look at me like that! It doesn't hurt that much."

"Why would you use these?"

"It's incentive not to get hit. So that you learn not to get stabbed."

"I'd think it would be obvious to not want to get stabbed!"

"I meant in training."

He passes the knife back to her with a huff. She takes it, trying unsuccessfully to bite back a smile.

"I no longer want to learn this," he tells her, his eyes sparkling with humour. He half turns away, but then turns back. "But I still think you looked very sexy. My wife is badass."

She huffs a laugh and rolls her eyes. "Thanks. I think."

He raises an eyebrow and then smiles at her. "I'll be up in OPs."

00

When Kensi makes it up to OPs, Callen and Sam are already there. She tucks herself beside her partner. At first, she had felt self-conscious standing so close to Deeks, like everyone would be able to see through them, but after a few cases of purposefully standing at random distances away from Deeks, she had realized Callen and Sam almost always stand next to each other in OPs. If she and Deeks are to look like partners, they should stand together.

Deeks shoots her a soft look, which she returns, before nodding to Eric to begin.

The case of the day begins with the morning shooting of a State Department Employee, and former marine, named Michael Barnes. The shooting occurred outside the Federal Building and was caught by security camera. The video showed a man in an LAPD uniform getting off an LAPD motorcycle, walk up the steps, fight with Barnes and then shoot him as he protected a blond woman.

"I'm assuming the shooter was dressed as a police officer and not really LAPD?" Sam says.

"Motorcycle was reported stolen yesterday," Eric confirms.

"Freeze it," Deeks says, stepping forward.

Kensi watches him as he studies the footage. It's somewhat blurry, but the shooter and Barnes are struggling together on the stairs leading up to the Federal Building.

He nods and points. "Looks like the shooter has a good grip in the railing right there. Maybe left a print. I'll contact LAPD forensics and see what they can pull."

"Good catch," Kensi murmurs, now staring at the screen.

"Hopefully, that will get us a name," Callen says. "That just leaves us the question of who is the woman?"

"We already figured that out," Eric says.

"Yup, that was easy," Nell adds.

Eric presses a button and a driver's license appear on screen. "Jillian Leigh."

"We pulled Barnes's phone logs," Nell explains. "He received a call from Jillian Leigh right before the shooting."

Eric nods. "Pulled up her license and there she was."

"Good work."

"What do we know about her?" Sam asks.

"She's a nurse at a cosmetic surgery center in Beverly Hills. The plastic surgeon is Dr. Russel."

00

Two hours later, the case has taken a bad turn. Several bad turns.

Kensi and Deeks stay back at the Mission to follow up with background information on Barnes and for Deeks to liaise with LAPD forensics. Barnes's background search leads nowhere. Unfortunately, LAPD forensics matches the print to a known terrorist on the FBI's wanted list whose photo on file looks nothing like the man in the video from that morning.

Meanwhile, Callen and Sam pay a visit to the cosmetic surgery center, only to find the plastic surgeon shot dead.

"So, we have a dead plastic surgeon and a shooter whose prints don't match his face," Callen says grimly as the team speaks over the phone.

"He came here to have facial reconstructive surgery," Sam concludes what they're all thinking.

"Kensi, Deeks, send Nell to us. We're going to need help going through medical records," Callen says. "Leave Barnes's history alone right now. Start going through Dr. Russel's and look for anything that would explain this."

"Got it," Kensi says, hanging up the phone. She turns to Nell, but the intelligence analyst is already packing up her things, having heard the call. She nods to them and hurries out of OPs.

"Okay, Eric," Kensi says, "You up for helping us with Dr. Russel?"

He nods. "Always."

Deeks steps forward. "Let's start with religious affiliations..."

"Travel," Kensi adds.

He nods. "Criminal record," he says, while Kensi says "Arrests," at the same time.

They shoot each other a smile.

"Unusual finances."

"Internet searches."

Kensi trails off as she meets Eric's eyes. He's staring at them with slightly narrowed eyes. "What?"

He shakes his head. "Nothing. You're just...really on the same page."

Kensi glances at her husband and swallows hard before glancing back at Eric. She's suddenly very aware of how close together they are standing, but resists the urge to step away, knowing that will only make Eric suspicious. "Eric," she prompts, "This is important."

"Right," he turns and starts typing quickly.

Kensi exchanges a look with Deeks as data begins to appear on the big screen before them. She can feel her heart pounding a little too hard in her chest, but Deeks simply cocks his head and meets her eyes easily. He doesn't look all that concerned at all.

She takes a breath and nods back to him. She's happy they're on the same page. She's just so used to keeping this secret that when it's threatened she needs to remember that it would be okay if their marriage is exposed.

She shifts closer and bumps Deeks's shoulder. He smiles and returns the gesture.

00

"How many tummies do you have to tuck to afford a place like this?" Deeks says as stare up at the mansion together.

She ignores him, her focus on the front door. An hour into their search into Dr. Russel - which resulted in nothing suspicious - Callen had called to say he, Sam and Nell had discovered Jillian Leigh, the nurse involved in the shooting earlier who had gotten away and not come forward, was Dr. Russel's wife. Also, medical records showed what they believed to be four terrorists who had had their facial appearances altered. Only Jillian Leigh knows what they look like now, so finding her has become their number one priority.

Their first stop is their house.

Kensi peers into the house through the glass of the front door. "The alarm is on."

"I can call Eric and have him do his thing," Deeks says, staring through the glass right above her.

She turns and mock glares at him. "I think I got it."

He smirks at her. "Super special spy skills at work again?"

"Something like that."

He follows her around the house to the backyard while she looks for the power box feeding the alarm system.

"Wow, the house has a pool and a pool house and a cabana," he announces.

"Think it's a little outside our price range, Marty," she says wryly.

"I knew I should have become a doctor," he jokes.

"You have never wanted to be a doctor," she counters as she spies the box and heads towards it, her husband trailing behind her.

"That is not true. Remember when you twisted your ankle?"

She opens the box and pauses for a moment as she stares at him through narrowed eyes, pulling up the memory. Then she laughs. "You literally only wanted to be a doctor for the alliteration."

He beams when she remembers. "Doctor Deeks," he confirms.

"Well, it worked out for you in the end. You got your alliteration, _Detective_."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." He hooks an arm around her waist as she goes to work on the box. "Now, if only I could have my alliteration, our soon to be new home and _this_ backyard..."

She successfully shuts off the alarm, shuts the box and presses a quick kiss to his lips. "You only get two out of three."

He pretends to pout, but quickly laughs. "I guess I'm good with that. As long as I have you."

She scrunches her nose. "Cheesy." She kisses him. "And you will always have me."

00

 _Kensi got home to find her husband laying on the couch, an arm draped across his eyes._

 _"Hey, you're home early," she called._

 _He sat up and offered her a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes._

 _She frowned and made her way towards him. "Everything okay?" She asked as she sat beside him on the couch._

 _He hooked an arm around her and pressed his lips to her cheek. "Fine. Just a long week."_

 _"I noticed," she said wryly. This was the first time he'd been home before seven all week. "You get everything sorted?"_

 _"Yeah." He leaned closer to her. "It's just...the same old thing, you know?"_

 _She nodded. She'd watched as her once enthusiastic husband had begun to lose his passion for his work when he had reached the one year mark of being a Public Defender and realized the job wasn't what he had expected._

 _"I want to feel like I'm actually making a difference."_

 _"I'm sure you are," she insisted. "You're a good lawyer, Marty."_

 _"I thought it was going to be different," he admitted quietly. "When I was a kid..."_

 _She turned and cupped his face with her hands. "Your Public Defender made a huge impact. I know."_

 _He smiled softly. "He's the reason I am who I am today. I wanted to be that impact for others."_

 _She nodded. "I know."_

 _"But I didn't realize that half my cases are for people I want nothing to do with, and the other half are people who just need a little help that anyone can offer." He exhaled a long breath. "I just want to matter. And I_ hate _representing the bad guys."_

 _"You do matter," She insisted. She tugged him down a few inches and kissed him. "You matter so much." She kissed him again. "And, well, I guess representing the bad guys is part of the job?"_

 _"I thought I'd always be representing the abused family, not the asshole who beats his wife and kids."_

 _His admission momentarily took away her words. She could hear his raw pain at being forced to provide strong representation for individuals who remind him of his past._

 _She removed one hand from his cheek and ran her fingers through his hair. "Maybe it's time to look into a different kind of law?" She suggested. "If you worked for a law firm, you would have some control over your cases."_

 _He puffed out his cheeks and exhaled slowly. She could actually feel the tension leave his body at the thought of doing something different. "You'd be okay with that?"_

 _"Of course. I want you to be happy more than anything."_

 _"You married me knowing I wanted to be a Public Defender," he reminded. "Are you sure-"_

 _She cut him off before he could even finish his sentence. "I want you to be happy," she repeated. "And I don't care what kind of lawyer you are, or even if you're a lawyer. Do what makes you happy, Marty, and I will support it. No matter what."_

 _He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tight to him. "I don't know what I would do without you, Kens."_

 _"Well, you'll never have to find out. You'll always have me."_

00

They don't find Jillian Leigh at her house, but they do find a pamphlet for the Malibu Medi-Spa, which Dr. Russel was associated with. It's private and isolated, a perfect place for Jillian to hide out.

The Malibu Medi-Spa is their second stop in their search.

They pull up to the spa and a valet immediately greets them to take their car.

"Wow, this place is even fancier than the house," Deeks comments.

"We're going to need a cover story," Kensi says quietly as they walk up the stairs together.

"Why can't we just flash our badges and ask if she's here?"

"She watched someone who she thinks was a cop shoot her friend right in front of her. And she has friends here. If we show our badges, either they'll hide her or she'll make a run for it."

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "You're right."

"So...cover?" She asks quickly. They are almost at the front door.

"Uh, a couple asking about surgery options?"

"For you or for me?"

He glances at her, a slightly panicked look on his face. "Me," he says quickly.

"Okay, what body part?"

"Uh...What body part do men have plastic surgery for?"

She huffs. "Marty!" She hisses. "Why suggest yourself if you don't even know which body part?"

"Because I don't have a death wish."

"What?"

"You are my wife, and you're perfect and I love you and I wouldn't change a single thing about you."

"I..." She huffs a laugh as she realizes his concern. "Are you seriously worried I would be upset?"

"Nope, cause I'm not stupid enough to suggest you." He shoots her a sweet smile. "And because you're perfect," he repeats. "And because you love me."

She laughs and shakes her head in amusement. "I do love you."

They reach the door before anything further can be said. Unfortunately, the reception desk is right in front of them and the receptionist is already stepping forward to greet them.

Kensi smiles at the receptionist, but her husband's words to her are suddenly echoing in her head. Because she thinks he's perfect the way he is, too. And she definitely doesn't want to imply that she wants him to change in any way.

"Can I help you?"

She smiles and nods. "Hi. We were hoping to have a tour of your facility? We've heard it's the very best in the state."

The receptionist nods her appreciation as she remains professional. "We like to think so. Can I inquire about the nature of your tour?"

"Oh, how rude of me," Kensi stalls. She glances at her husband. He's standing beside her, clearly has no idea what her play is, but is completely ready to follow her lead. She wouldn't change a thing about him. He really is perfect. She loves the hair and the scruff and the sometimes questionable fashion sense.

He just doesn't look like a doctor.

Kensi looks back to the receptionist. "My name is Dr. Linda Davis. This is my assistant, Danny Collins. I'm in the process of relocating my practice to Los Angeles and I'm looking for the very best and most discrete recovery centre to refer my patients."

"A lot of Dr. Davis's patients have...concerns about their private lives being kept private," Deeks speaks up, following her story flawlessly.

"Of course," the receptionist says. "We take privacy and discretion very seriously. As well, we offer the highest level of care. I'm confident we would be the best choice for your patients." She offers them both a smile. "If you give me a moment, I'll see what I can do about a tour right now."

"Thank you," Kensi says.

The moment they are left alone, Deeks huffs. "Why do you get to be the doctor?"

"Marty, I love you. And I wouldn't change a thing about you. But you look nothing like a surgeon."

He mock glares at her for a long moment. "Fine, I'll concede your point. But why did you pick an alliteration name, _Dr. Davis_?"

She smirks at him, glad he caught the alliterative name. "That I did for fun."

He stares her down for a long moment and then huffs again. "You did that on purpose."

"Little bit." She can't stifle the smile that forms on her lips. She loves her husband more than anything, but that doesn't mean she won't take advantage of the situation to tease him just a bit when the situation presents itself.

"Mean." He mock glares at her.

"I'll make it up to you..." She winks at him.

"Ooh, I like the sound of-"

They are interrupted by the sound of a throat clearing. The receptionist has returned with a second woman. "This is Lisa. She's happy to show you around."

"Hi, Lisa," they say together.

Lisa is very friendly and professional as she guides them on a detailed tour of the Medi-Spas many, many, _many_ features. Catered meals, imported water, on-call masseuses, relaxation centre, library, actual spa, technology centre, residences, pool area and gym.

They are outside near the outdoor pool when Deeks nudges Kensi. She glances at him and then in the direction he motions. She sighs in relief when she spies Jillian across the yard.

"So, what's over there?" Kensi asks, motioning towards the building nearest Jillian.

"That's our VIP wing," Lisa answers smoothly. "Unfortunately, that won't be part of our tour today. Only VIP patients and staff are allowed. If you're interested in viewing the area, that can be set up with management at a future date."

"I understand," Kensi answers. She turns to Deeks. "Have we gotten an update from the clinic on that patient yet?" She asks.

Flawlessly acting as her assistant, Deeks shakes his head. "Not yet, Dr. Davis. Would you like me to call myself?"

"We don't allow cell phones inside," Lisa cautions, motioning in the direction the tour is heading.

"Make the call out here and then catch up," she tells Deeks, knowing he will understand. "Let me know immediately if there are any complications."

"Of course." He follows through with the ruse by lifting his cell out of his pocket and pretending to scroll through the contacts.

"Shall we continue?" Kensi prompts Lisa.

"Right this way."

The tour continues for another ten minutes. Kensi is just starting to grow concerned that she has not heard from her partner when a man in a suit, who is clearly a security guard, approaches her and Lisa. She continues to act the part of the high class plastic surgeon on the off chance it has nothing to do with her, but the security guard's focus is on Kensi and not Lisa.

"Agent Blye, I presume?"

Lisa turns to her in surprise.

Kensi nods and pulls her badge from her pocket. "My partner and I are here looking for a material witness who could be in danger. I apologize for the deception, but we wanted to ensure she did not get spooked."

"Your partner said as much. Jillian Leigh has left our property. Now, I ask that you retrieve your partner and the two of you leave immediately."

"What do you mean, retrieve?" Kensi asks, suddenly worried.

"This way," he says, walking quickly through a maze of pathways, leaving her no option but to hurry along.

They round a final corner and Kensi spies her husband at the end of the hall, being escorted by two men in scrub pants and uniform shirts. He's on his feet and he's walking, so it can't be that-

 _Oh_.

His face is splotchy and red. She rushes towards him to realize his eyes are swollen and barely open. The redness is centered around his eyes.

They almost walk him right past her.

"Kensi?" He calls softly, half whine and half plea.

"What happened?" She asks, stopping right in front of him so the men escorting him have no choice but to stop. She lifts her hands and places them gently on the outside of his face. His skin is hot.

His hand finds hers, laying over top one of her hands as she cradles his face. "Was following Jillian," he mumbles, eyes now closed completely. He's pressing his face forward against her hands and she knows he must be in a lot of pain. "Women's change room. Angry, angry women who wanted to express their pain from ridiculous surgery and hunger pangs from the liquid diet..."

She hears the security guard step up behind her, clearly not happy with his words, but she refuses to be cowed. She's actually impressed with her husband's ability to be funny when he's obviously in so much pain.

"Pepper spray?"

"I got peppered," he confirms.

"As I was saying," the security guard begins.

"You want us gone," Kensi finishes before he can say another word. She turns away from her husband for a moment to face the guard. "Has my partner been treated?"

"We allowed him to rinse his face. It's not our fault that-"

"We both know pepper spray will not be removed from a simple rinse."

The security guard tightens his jaw and stands up a little straighter, clearly prepared to kick them out anyway.

Kensi steps forward, prepared to go toe to toe. "I am a federal agent and he is an LAPD detective. And your facility was hiding a material witness in an ongoing investigation. You will allow proper treatment before we leave."

He stares her down for a long moment. "Fine. This wing is closed temporarily due to your partner's stunt. You can have fifteen minutes in the patient bathroom, but after that you will be escorted off the property."

"Thank you."

They are escorted into what has to be the fanciest bathroom Kensi has ever stepped foot in before. However, her focus is on her husband and not the decor.

The security guards who had been escorting him, lead him into the bathroom and leave him in her care. They make it clear to Kensi that they will be waiting outside the room and that they will not be allowed to stay longer than their allotted fifteen minutes.

The moment the door shuts behind them, Deeks sags slightly, no longer holding back on showing how much pain he is in now that he is alone with her.

"Come here," she says gently, leading him towards the granite counter top.

"I'm sorry," he mumbles. "I almost had her. I should have been paying more attention."

"We'll find her," Kensi soothes. She stops him in front of the middle sink. She turns the tap on and adjusts it to a cool temperature. "Lean forward," she prompts.

He does so and she reaches for his closest hand, tugging it towards the stream of water. "Cup your hands and use them to soak your eyes. It'll help."

He does so and then sighs audibly. "I didn't know eyes could sting like this..."

She rubs his back and leans in to press a kiss to the side of his head while he continues to gather new cool water to soak his eyes, rinsing away the pepper spray and soothing the burning at the same time.

"You want to walk me through this again?"

"I was following Jillian. She looked unharmed, but scared. Don't think she saw me, but she went into a building which turned out to be the women's change room... I couldn't just turn around, right? We need to find her."

She runs her fingers through his hair. "We need to find her. You did the right thing," she confirms.

"There were angry women. Yelled, called me a pervert."

She snorts a laugh, reacting to his amused tone.

"I tried to announce myself. I said I was a cop. But I was moving so fast trying to catch up and..." he trails off.

"And one of the angry, starving women pulled out a can of pepper spray?"

He huffs a laugh. "Pretty much. She was worse than you when you're hungry..."

She rolls her eyes at his attempted joke. "Did they actually let you rinse once already?"

"Barely. I think he wanted to just kick me out as is, but I couldn't open my eyes."

She runs her hand down his back. "I don't like seeing you in pain, Marty," she tells him.

He stands upright and turns to meet her eyes...sort of. He's squinting through still red eyes, but she thinks maybe they're a little less puffy. "I'm okay, Kens," he assures.

She reaches up with both hands to brush his damp bangs off his forehead so she can get a better look at the damage. "You will be," she tells him. "But you're not right now."

"I'm a hell of a lot better than I was before you came to my rescue."

She smiles at that. "I'll be your knight in shining armour anytime, Marty."

He smirks back at her. "Does that make me your damsel in distress?"

"Only if it means I get to kiss you now that I've rescued you."

He immediately leans in to press his lips to hers. She smiles into his lips and kisses him back until she feels him flinch against her. She pulls away and gently nudges him back towards the sink. "Keep rinsing."

He follows her instructions, bending back down to continue rinsing his eyes. She runs her hand up and down his spine, wishing she could be of more comfort.

One of the security guards opens the door and meets Kensi's eyes from across the room.

She glares back at him.

"Thirty seconds," he says, closing the door quickly.

"I can barricade the door," she says, half joking and half serious.

Deeks chuckles as he stands upright, water dripping down his face. "I think I'm okay now."

She reaches for one of the cotton hand towels folded and stacked in a wrought iron holder by the mirror.

"Thanks," he says, taking the towel from her and using it to dry his face.

"You sure you're good?" She asks.

"Yeah, let's go."

As he tosses his damp towel into the glass bin, she swipes another two from the counter and tucks them as best she can into the back waistband of her jeans.

They open the door, and are immediately escorted out of the medi-spa by the two security guards. Their vehicle is already waiting for them.

"Thanks for an awesome experience. I'll be sure to recommend you to my friends," Deeks calls sarcastically as Kensi settles him into the passenger seat of the SRX.

She stifles a laugh as she shuts the door.

The head security guard, who had been waiting at the car, meets her eyes. He's as stern as ever as he stares her down, clearly wanting nothing more than to get the two of them off the property.

"I'm sorry for the fuss today," she apologizes, knowing that despite the spa's not so nice reaction, this is not their fault. "And thank you for allowing my partner time to rinse his eyes."

He nods.

She steps forward and pulls a card from her pocket. "Please contact us if Jillian Leigh shows up again."

He stares at the card, uncertain.

"It could be a matter of national security," she stresses.

He takes the card. "Of course."

"Thank you." She turns and gets into the car.

The moment they are out of sight of the spa, Deeks presses his palms to his eyes.

She reaches over and rubs his knee. "Just hold on another minute, Marty."

She drives them off the spa's property and onto a side road, where she pulls over. "I'll be right back." She gets out and opens the trunk, knowing there are eye drops in the first aid kit that will sooth better than water. She retrieves the eye drops and moves up the passenger side of the car. She pulls open Deeks's door. "Here, use these."

He takes the eye drops with a grateful nod and tips his head back.

She returns to the back of the vehicle and pulls out a bottle of water and an ice pack from the emergency kit. She uses the water to soak one of the towels she took from the bathroom. Then she pops the icepack, waits until it begins to get cold and wraps the wet towel around it.

She shuts the back hatch and moves back to her husband. He's sitting back in his seat, eyes closed.

"Eye drops help?"

"Yeah." He opens his eyes and offers her a wan smile. "Thank you. I seriously don't know what I'd do without you."

She runs her fingers through his hair. "You'll never have to find out." She lifts the wet towel wrapped ice pack for him to see and then presses it over his eyes. "This should help soothe the burning."

His hands quickly take over for her, pressing the cold against himself. "Oh, my God, this is better than the eye drops."

She ducks her head into the car to kiss him, laughing against into his mouth when he kisses her back without moving the icepack.

Kensi shuts his door and makes her way back around the vehicle to get back into the driver's seat. "Okay, let's head back to OPs to see if there's anything new. Hopefully Eric can help us track down Jillian."

The drive is quiet. Deeks speaks up every couple minutes, singing praises about the magical healing properties of the icepack. She laughs and goes along with him.

When they arrive back at the Mission, she parks the car but makes not immediate move to get out. "We're here."

He sighs and pulls the ice pack from his face.

She takes a moment to stare at him. "Still red, but the swelling is down a lot. How do you feel?"

"Okay, I think," he tells her.

"Good." She passes him the dry towel to wipe off his face.

He uses it, but when he's done, holds it out in front of his eyes for a moment before turning to meet her eyes. "Did you steal this from the spa?"

She cracks a smile. "I may have..."

He acts horrified, clutching a hand to his chest. "My wife the thief..."

"If you're really that concerned, we can take them back to the spa when the case is over. I'm sure they'd love to see us again."

He purses his lips. "On second thought..."

"That's what I thought." She smiles at him, flinching slightly at his still very red eyes. "You okay to keep going today?"

He nods. "I won't be beaten by a bunch of starving, angry women."

She laughs. "Well, at least we know your sense of humour is intact."

They get out of the car at the same time and walk towards the door together.

"Have I told you how much I love you today?" He asks softly.

She pretends to think about it. "Hmm, can't recall."

He chuckles. "Well, I better tell you now, just to make sure."

She glances at him, and then frowns when he doesn't say anything.

He laughs out loud and pulls them both to a stop right in front of the door. "I love you, Kens, so much. Thank you for everything today."

"I love you, too, Marty. And you don't need to thank me. I want to help you when you need it, just like I know you'd do for me."

"I would," he assures. "Still, you went above and beyond."

She opens her mouth to counter his statement, but the door right in front of them swings open unexpectedly, catching them both by surprise. She turns as she reacts to the sudden intrusion on their moment, only to come face to face with Callen and Sam.

As she had done earlier with Eric, she resists the urge to step away from her partner, not wanting to draw attention to anything.

Fortunately for them, both Callen and Sam's attention immediately goes to Deeks's face.

"What happened to you?" Callen asks.

"I got peppered," Deeks says lightly. Kensi knows he is playing down the experience for the rest of the team on purpose, and she lets him do so.

"Peppered?" Sam chuckles. "Any luck finding Jillian?"

"Working on it," Kensi says. "We'll let you know."

Callen and Sam leave, heading for Sam's Challenger.

Kensi and Deeks step into the Mission.

"That was close," Kensi comments.

"We are not being very stealthy today," he agrees.

She laughs. "At least I haven't been peppered yet."

He whistles. "Ouch."

She bumps his hip as they walk together. "I'm looking forward to not having to be stealthy," she admits.

Beside her, he exhales slowly. "Me, too, Kens. Me, too."

00

With the help of both Eric and Nell, Kensi and Deeks are able to track down Jillian Leigh on their third try. She had found refuge at a friend's house.

Jillian is understandably devastated by the news of her husband's death. She's also pregnant and now terrified for her life and the life of her unborn child.

Sitting across from the defeated woman she had spent the better part of the day tracking down, Kensi feels a wave of empathy at the pain and fear she must be feeling. But there is no digital or paper record to support what the terrorist cell now looks like. Jillian is their only possible source of that information.

"Jillian, I know you've been going through a lot," Kensi sympathizes. "But we really need to ask you some questions. Is that okay?"

Jillian exhales shakily and clutches to the mug of decaf coffee Kensi had brought her. She says nothing and doesn't look up.

Kensi exchanges a worried glance with Deeks, who is sitting next to her. As much as they want to leave the poor woman to her grief, her knowledge will save lives, including her own. They just need to get through to her.

Deeks pats the table gently, trying to draw Jillian's attention. "Do you have any idea who was after your husband?" He asks gently, clearly trying to prompt a response from Jillian if he can.

Kensi watches as Jillian opens her mouth, but then shuts it. Her eyes shut, too.

She looks to Deeks again. He looks as concerned as she is. The last thing want is to shut her down completely.

Kensi reaches her hand to grip Jillian's forearm, trying to convey comfort. "I know you're scared," she tells the woman, "But we're on your side. You can trust us."

Jillian's eyes open, but she doesn't otherwise react to Kensi's words.

"We want to help you," Deeks tries. "You are safe here."

Still nothing.

The door opens before they can try anything further. Sam appears and motions with his head for them to step out.

They quickly leave the room as Sam takes a turn speaking with Jillian.

"I feel so bad for her," Kensi says as she and Deeks join Callen in watching the video feed. On the screen, Sam is introducing himself to Jillian.

"It's not our job to feel bad for her right now," Callen says evenly, his eyes on the screen. "Right now, we need to get through to her because she's the only one who can ID these guys. We need to relate to her, not remind her of what she's lost or might lose. That's how we'll get through to her."

Kensi considers Callen words and then nods thoughtfully.

"Hopefully Sam can do that," Deeks says in Kensi's silence.

Callen nods. "He's our best shot."

They fall silent as they watch the conversation between Sam and Jillian.

"We're going to do everything we can to make sure you're safe," Sam says to Jillian.

"How?" Jillian asks, the first word she has spoken in nearly an hour. "Those men know what I look like."

They watch as Sam expertly takes her words and makes them productive. "Which is why we need you to answer a few questions so we can find them."

Jillian begins to nod but then draws back in her chair, starting to shut down again.

Sam leans forward. "Look, I know you're not just worried for your own safety."

This gets Jillian's attention back and Sam keeps talking.

"We're not going to let them get to you or your baby. I promise."

Jillian's attention stays on Sam as her hand moves to her abdomen, protective.

Sam clearly notices and continues. "I have kids, too," he tells her. "I understand; you just want to protect them."

Kensi exhales slowly as she watches the conversation; watches Jillian begin to respond as Sam continues to talk. It's not a surprise to her that Sam has kids at home. She had figured that out a year earlier when he knew to look for a nanny-cam in a stuffed bear at a crime scene. But hearing him readily admit to it now is different. Because what was once an unstructured concept of Sam having kids has changed in her mind. Because Sam is a parent. He's a _dad_. She almost smiles as she listens to him tell Jillian stories of being prepared to give his daughter the Heimlich when she first ate cereal and that he followed her bus to school the first month she rode it.

He does this job with them, and then he goes home and does family things. _Parent_ things.

She glances at her husband, whose attention is on the video screen. He smiles in amusement at Sam's stories. But she also recognizes a hint of wanting in his eyes.

She inhales sharply when she realizes she feels the same thing.

00

After getting Jillian to open up, Sam gently gets her to tell them all the information she has. She also agrees to help the team identify the terrorists.

With information amassed by the team and Eric and Nell through the day, they are able to identify the terrorists' target. It's a major charity event being hosted on the Queen Mary, a ship docked near downtown.

Unfortunately, the event is already underway, so the team dresses the part and infiltrates the party. Sam brings Jillian onboard, where she is able to identify the terrorists just in time for the team to stop a fatal chemical from being injected into the ship's air system.

"Well, that was fun," Kensi mutters as she pulls the SRX into its parking spot at the Mission. It's almost midnight and they've basically been going non-stop since that morning.

Beside her, Deeks sighs and shoots her a smile. "Could have been worse, huh? Nice little undercover OP at a fancy party; I've definitely done a lot of these in much less fancy places."

She huffs a laugh.

"This might actually be the fanciest suit I've ever worn undercover." He cocks his head and runs a hand through his hair. Then he looks down at himself. "In fact, this might just be the fanciest suit I've ever worn, period."

She laughs out loud. "I like our casual lifestyle."

He beams at her. "Me, too." He motions down at himself. "But you can't say this isn't fun once in a while."

"Maybe a little." She gets out of the car and he follows suit.

"And you can't say you haven't had trouble keeping your eyes off me tonight," he says as they walk towards the door. Across the small lot, Callen and Sam are pulling in with the Challenger, so Kensi and Deeks pause to wait for the rest of the team.

"That is not true," she denies.

"Oh. Well, that's too bad. Because I've had trouble keeping my eyes off you..."

She glances down at her fitted pant suit with the low neckline and then looks up to meet her husband's eyes again. "Not very professional, Detective," she pretends to chastise.

He smirks at her and then raises an eyebrow as he lowers his voice. "Trust me, Agent, there's _nothing_ professional about what I'm thinking when you look like that."

She swallows hard, but can't respond. Callen and Sam are approaching them too quickly.

"Good job today," Callen calls as the team makes their way in the door together.

"Thanks," Kensi returns.

Deeks nods his acknowledgment.

"Now, let's get changed and get out of here," Callen continues.

"Or not," Deeks suggests. "I mean, is it just me, or do I look really good in this?"

Kensi laughs, knowing Deeks is trying to keep the mood light. She noticed him making more efforts to engage the other half of the team more often.

"It's just you," Sam says without sparing him a glance.

Kensi shakes off Sam's comment. "I hate to admit it, but you boys look pretty sharp."

"Right?" Deeks calls back.

She mock glares at him. "Hetty is a miracle worker."

He nods and smiles, appreciative at her joke. Then he turns to the rest of the team. "You know what we should do? We should go out."

Kensi reaches her desk and looks up in surprise at him asking so boldly. She's surprised again when his attention is on Callen and Sam. He's seen an opportunity and is reaching out, trying to make headway into bonding with the rest of the team.

He glances at her, making sure she understands.

She smiles back and then gently shakes her head. She keeps trying to make him part of the team herself, instead of allowing him to do his own thing. Maybe all he really needs is time alone with Callen and Sam.

"Oh," she makes sure she had his attention. "I'm going to get changed, and go home to a bubble bath and a tub of Rocky Road."

He stares at her for a moment, making sure she's okay if he pursues this.

"You boys have fun," she adds.

He nods almost imperceptibly. "Your loss," he calls to her as she begins to head for the changing area.

She smiles once her back is turned, listening as he convinces Callen and Sam to go out.

"Callen, come on, man. Chicks really dig the James Bond look."

"Well, I don't think a little male bonding would hurt anyone..."

Kensi is still smiling when she retrieves her clothes and ducks into a change room. She changes quickly and sighs at the comfortable feel of her jeans and tee shirt. When she begins to make her way back to her desk, Callen, Sam and Deeks all pass her, looking disappointed.

"What happened?" She asks. "I thought you were going out?"

"Hetty happened," Sam says quietly.

"I heard that, Mr. Hanna," Hetty calls from across the room. "You all know the rules. My clothing is not to be worn for non-case related purposes."

Sam flinches and says nothing more as he heads into the wardrobe area.

Kensi returns to her desk and takes her time collecting her things to go home. She makes sure to wait until all three men have returned to their desks before speaking up.

"You know, just because you're not dressed up all fancy anymore doesn't mean you can't still go out."

Deeks meets her eyes, grateful for the suggestion. He glances uncertainly at Callen and Sam, gun shy now to speak up after his initial idea was shot down.

Kensi glances at Sam and then at Callen.

Callen nods once. "I guess a beer or two wouldn't hurt."

Sam nods and moves to stand beside his partner. "Kensi, you sure we can't convince you?"

"I'm sure," she says.

Across the bullpen, Deeks glances between her and Callen and Sam, uncertain if he's being included.

"Your loss," Callen jokes. He turns to Sam. "I know just the place."

"The bar on sunset?" Sam asks.

"Exactly." Callen nods. Then he motions to Deeks. "I'll text you the address in case we lose you. Sam has the tendency to forget when he's _not_ supposed to lose a tail."

Deeks chuckles.

Sam huffs and he and Callen begin bickering as they head towards the door together.

Deeks begins to follow, but slows at Kensi's desk.

"Have fun," she tells him before he can say anything.

"I won't be too late," he says. "Love you."

"Love you, too."

00

By the time Kensi gets home and takes Monty out for a walk, it's a little after midnight.

Monty follows her around the apartment as she paces the rooms, dodging the many boxes.

"One more week," she tells the dog. They get the new house in a week's time. And then they have only two weeks to move all of their things before their lease runs out on the apartment. It's been home for a long time, but Kensi isn't sad like she was the first time they moved together. Shortly after they finished school, when they were actually making money and able to afford more than the small studio apartment, she had found it difficult. It had been the first _home_ she had known since she was fifteen. But now, her concept of home doesn't depend so much on where she is, but who she is with.

She's looking forward to this move. Buying their first house is a big deal for them; something they had talked about and dreamed together in their early twenties. It means settling down into this life they've built for themselves. It means no more moving apartments every few years. No more not being able to make permanent changes to their home because they're just renting and may not be staying too much longer.

It means a mortgage and a level of permanence she's not yet experienced.

It means maybe starting a family.

After her fourth full pace of the apartment, she collapses onto the couch. She doesn't feel like packing tonight, but she's also not ready to sleep. She pats the cushion next to her and Monty pops up. He settles his head on her knee with a sigh.

"Sam's a parent," she shares her newest revelation with the dog. "A real dad."

Monty lifts his head to look at her, clearly not understanding her words, but reacting to her tone.

She rubs his head. "I knew he had kids, but this is..." She sighs. "This is different, you know."

The dog continues to stare at her.

She smiles. "I know you don't understand. But you're a good boy for trying."

His tail thumps on the couch.

She leans back and smiles as Monty moves closer. She hooks an arm around him and cuddles with her dog.

"I'm starting to really think I could do it," she whispers. "I could be a better mom than mine was. And with Marty, I think we could keep our kids safe. I really think we could do it..." She trails off, thinking of that boy in her dreams with curly blond hair and blue eyes. She thinks of the girl with brown hair Marty had told her haunts his dreams. She feels familiar fear; of not being good enough, and of failing to protect these beautiful, innocent, hypothetical future children. But she also feels a new sense of confidence; maybe enough to outweigh the fear. "I could be enough," she speaks out loud.

Monty shifts against her, still listening.

Kensi takes a deep breath and takes in the room. There are boxes littering the floor, evidence of progress in her life and her marriage. On the bookshelf across the room, their picture frames still stand proudly, telling their story.

She takes another breath. "I wouldn't have any of this if I spent all my time being afraid. Being afraid almost lost me this."

She rubs her hand back and forth on Monty's shoulder. He's a comforting presence for her. She needs to be quiet and pensive sometimes, away from her husband, to collect her thoughts. He's never anything but supportive, and she knows he'll never push her.

But maybe she needs a push. Because she needs to make a decision.

So, she'll push herself now.

"What do you think, Monty? Do you want a little brother or sister?"

Monty sits up and sneezes. Then he stares at her.

Kensi laughs. "Is that a yes or a no?"

The dog lays back down again, head on her knee.

She returns her hand to his head. "Yeah, I think so, too."

* * *

 _AN: For those of you tracking these things, the flashback where Kensi twisted her ankle was in Chapter 8._

 _Thanks again for continuing to read and support this story! And thanks for the feedback to my questions on the last chapter. If you're up for it, I'm looking for a little more feedback. Kensi and Deeks are about to get their house, which requires some work. How much do you care about hearing about the details of their work on the house, keeping in mind this will be what they spend most of their free time working on at least for a short period of time. I guess there are three ways to go... detailed scenes about them working on the house, smaller mentions that they had spent the weekend working on the house, etc, or just the house is move in ready and have them move. Thanks ahead of time._


	35. Bounty

_**AN: Finally got caught up with all the PMs and reviews this week. Again, thanks for your patience. Moving forward I will do my best not to get (that far) behind again. Also, you will notice it's only been a week since my last update! Hopefully regular updates can continue.**_

 _ **There were important aspects of this episode to this chapter and to Deeks, so I had to include it, but for those who know the episodes well, you will notice I've simplified the plot. This was to focus more on Kensi/Deeks and the effect this case had on them then spend a lot of time explaining the case.**_

* * *

Episode 2.08 - Bounty

On the closing date of their house, Deeks is surprised that Hetty covers for himself and Kensi with the rest of the team. She tells Callen and Sam they are being sent to check in with a potential witness on an old case, while they actually drive together to pick up the key to their new home from their real estate lawyer.

They each sign their names to release the key and then the receptionist holds it out.

Deeks glances at his wife, who looks back at him, neither sure who should be the one to take it. He exhales a laughing breath and then reaches to take the key.

The metal is cool between his fingers. He stares at it for a long moment and then passes it into his wife's care.

"Wow," she murmurs. "We really bought a house."

He chuckles and presses his lips to the side of her head. "Yeah. We really did."

They thank the receptionist and then make their way out of the law office and into the parking lot. He stops her before she gets into the car.

"I love you," he whispers as he hooks his arms around her waist.

She smiles freely at him, her eyes sparkling. "I love you, too."

"We really bought a house."

She laughs and holds the key up between them. "Kind of awesome, huh?"

"Very awesome," he agrees.

She closes her eyes for a long moment and when she opens them, there is a sheen of tears. "I am so happy right now, Marty. I mean...a house."

"A house," he agrees. "Something permanent."

She blinks and a single tear trails down her cheek.

He raises his hand and brushes his thumb across her cheek. He loves his wife so much. And he knows exactly how much this means to her. He's actually surprised to feel his eyes sting, simply in response to the extreme emotion she is showing. "What we always wanted," he whispers.

"The next big step."

"I feel like we should do something to commemorate this moment."

She raises an eyebrow and waves the key between them. "Like, buy a keychain?"

He laughs out loud and ducks his head to kiss her. "Sounds perfect. But also..." He trails off as he pulls his phone from his pocket. He unlocks the screen and pulls up the camera.

"Good idea." She shifts so she's tucked in beside him, smiling and holding up the key.

He holds out his arm, aligning the phone for the best angle. He smiles and takes the picture.

He checks the photo and holds out the phone for them both to look. On the screen are two delightfully happy people, tucked together, key before them. Right on the cusp of taking this next step together.

"Perfect," Kensi says.

00

 _Deeks got home to the sound of his wife muttering to herself._

 _Before he could say a word there was a loud thud, followed by a series of bangs._

 _"You okay?" He called out, not entirely sure where she was._

 _"Fine," she called back. "I just..." She trailed off and came into his view, stepping out of the small storage closet. "I can't find anything in here."_

 _He met her at the doorway to the closet, and made a face as he peered inside. It was packed floor to ceiling with boxes, bags and things too large to fit into a box or bag. There was just enough room for his slender wife to fit herself into the room, but the opening was so small, he doubted he could fit himself._

 _He snaked his arm around her waist and pressed a kiss to the side of her head. "It is a little full."_

 _She huffed a laugh and turned into his body, her hands reaching around his waist in a snug hug. He ran a hand up and down her spine. She settled against him and then tightened her grip around him ever so slightly. She shifted so her forehead was resting against his sternum, right below his chin. He frowned when he realized she was looking for comfort. Before he could ask, she spoke up._

 _"I think maybe we've outgrown this place," she whispered._

 _"You want to move?"_

 _She took a moment, her forehead still resting against him, and then raised her head to look him in the eye. "We're both done school. We can afford a bigger place." She paused for a moment and cocked her head. "What do you think?"_

 _He ducked his head to kiss her. "I think you're right. Maybe even a place with walls?" He joked. He'd loved his home with her over the past three years, but trading in the studio apartment for an apartment with more space and separate rooms was appealing._

 _She smiled softly at his joke, but her eyes welled with tears at the same time._

 _"Hey, what's wrong?"_

 _She shook her head as she successfully blinked away the tears. "It's stupid. It's just... I've always known we would need to move on eventually, but this place is...home, you know?"_

 _"I know." He kissed her again and then pressed his lips to her forehead, before tugging her close. He said nothing for a long moment as he held her tight to him. He knew how important this apartment was to her; knew how much the stability had meant to her after so many years of having none. Even before her life had fallen apart, she'd been moved from base to base, following her father's marine career. For her, three years in one place was a lot._

 _"You're right," he finally told her. "We do need to move on. We've outgrown this place. But wherever we go, we go together, hmm? You and me."_

 _She nodded against him. "You and me."_

 _"And one day, Kens, we're going to live somewhere permanently," he promised. "Maybe buy a house. Settle down. Grow roots and all that."_

 _He got the laugh he was hoping for. "I like that idea," she said. She sighed and relaxed against him. "I like it a lot."_

00

After work, Kensi and Deeks drive to the house, excited to see it for the first time as _theirs_.

They meet Kensi's mom, who has picked up Monty.

Deeks isn't sure who is more excited; Julia or Monty.

The dog leaps from the car the moment Julia opens the door and runs towards his parents. After a quick greeting, he runs a few excited laps around the front yard and then jumps up the steps to the porch and barks at them.

"I swear, that dog understands more than we'll ever know," Julia says as she walks towards them.

Deeks watches with a soft smile as Julia hugs her daughter.

"I'm so excited for you, Kensi. And I'm so proud."

"Thanks, mom."

Julia releases her daughter and turns to Deeks. She pulls him into a now familiar hug. "I'm so excited for you both."

"Thanks, Julia," he says.

She smiles at him as she releases him.

"Ready for a tour?" Kensi asks.

"Very much so. But first..." She pulls a camera out of her pocket. "Everyone should have that first house photo."

Deeks can already imagine the picture of him and Kensi posing on the front porch of their first house, along with Monty, framed and added to their collection, even as he stands with his wife and smiles for the camera.

00

Monday morning comes all too soon.

The weekend had felt both too long and too short at the same time. They had spent it ripping up carpets and tearing down outdated wallpaper.

"My fingers hurt," Kensi grouses as they eat their breakfast together. "Have I mentioned that?"

He chuckles. "Only a few dozen times."

She holds up her hands for emphasis and wiggles her fingers. He thinks she looks like she's attempting to display 'spirit finger' but knows better than to say that out loud to his wife. Instead he smiles to himself, taken aback as always by how adorable she can be.

"I didn't know it was actually possible to feel so much pain in my fingers..." She adds.

"We got a lot done," he reminds.

She nods. "I wasn't leaving until the last strip of stupid wallpaper was down last night."

He laughs out loud. "Stupid wallpaper?"

"Yes. And for the future, we are only ever having painted walls. I am never tearing down wallpaper again. Ever."

"Agreed." His hands hurt, too.

She finishes her orange juice and then groans when she glances at the time. "We have to leave soon."

He nods his agreement, knowing if they're both late that will only look suspicious to Callen and Sam.

And they can't have that. He feels his lighthearted mood slip at the reminder that within an hour he has to hide his marriage. Again.

"I wish we could take the week off to work on the house," she admits.

"That would be nice," he agrees.

"But it would look too suspicious if we took time off at the same time," she continues.

"Can't have that," he adds, trying to keep any bitterness out of his tone. He knows his wife is used to hiding her marital status at work, has known that since she joined this team. And, to an extent, he's used to it, too. He only ever admitted to being married once when he was undercover, and it was a unique situation. Not to mention, it was one of his first assignments and he would know better now.

But when he was at his precinct, he got to be open about being married. He got to wear his ring to work. Outside of undercover work, he never had to hide his marital status.

He hates not being able to be open now. He loves his wife and he's proud of their strong marriage.

He didn't mind the secret at first. And he understood and even agreed with Kensi's concerns. He had no issue with waiting until he settles in with the team. But he's been working with the team for just shy of four months now. He's been trying to make headway with Callen and Sam, but the older men's behaviour towards himself is inconsistent at best. Sometimes they're friendly, sometimes they're no more than cordial, and sometimes they simply dismiss him as being relevant. Sam, especially seems to take pleasure in knocking him down a few pegs when the mood strikes him.

On his good days, he jokes with them, keeping it light hearted. He falls into playing the carefree cop.

But on his less than good days, he snaps back at Sam. He pokes at the older agent until he gets a reaction. He knows exactly what buttons to press and he plays the game of how many times he can press them. He knows its immature at best, but with no other way to defend himself, he falls into the pattern.

He finds himself more and more impatient to disclose their marriage to the team. But where Kensi wants him accepted by the team first, Deeks doesn't know when or if that will ever actually happen. He wants to be able to defend himself to Sam's snarks about responsibility and relationships. He wants to be able to show that he's committed to his wife, that he's a good husband.

On his bad days, he wants to see the look of shock in Callen and Sam's eyes.

Kensi meets his eyes, hers shining with concern, not having missed the bitterness in his tone. "Marty..."

He forces a smile to his face. "Sorry. I'm just..." He trails off for a moment. "I'm just feeling impatient."

She stares at him for a long moment and then stands and makes her way around the table. She leans down and hugs him as best she can from the awkward angle. Unable to hug her back, he grips to her forearm where it crosses his chest.

"I want to tell them, too," she tells the top of his head. "I just want..."

"I know," he says softly. He shifts and she moves to accommodate him. When he can meet her eyes, he reaches to brush a few strands of hair from her face. "I just don't know that the picture you have in your head will ever actually happen."

She nods. "I get that now." She sighs. "I just wanted you to feel what I feel at work."

"You're cute," he tells her, standing to be able to kiss her.

"I don't know how to fix this," she tells him. Then she sighs heavily, defeated. "If you want, we can just tell them."

He kisses her again. "I can wait."

"Marty-"

He cuts her off with another kiss, successfully making her laugh when he practically swallows the words she was going to say. "Let's focus on the house right now. This should be a happy time. Once we're settled, let's talk, okay?"

She nods. "Okay."

Thinking they're done, he moves to pick up their dishes and head to the sink, but her hands catch his arm and tug him back towards her. "This isn't just my decision," she says softly. "If you ever feel like it's the right time to tell them, you go ahead, okay? I'll be right there with you."

00

The morning starts off fairly quiet. With no case, they leave Callen and Sam in the bullpen and head for the shooting range.

Deeks notices his wife smiling softly on the short walk to the shooting range, and then again when they enter the room.

"What?"

She tries, somewhat successfully, to stifle her smile. "Nothing."

"Seriously. What?"

She glances at him as she begins to prepare her weapon, the smile back on her face. "I just...like that we do this together now. Before you started working here, it had been a long time. Do you remember the first time?"

"The first time we went to a shooting range together?"

She nods.

He smiles at the memory. "I do. It was a good day." He'd always known she wanted to be a federal agent, and had known that would mean she would be carrying a weapon. And he had been okay with that. He just hadn't wanted any part of it himself. He had hated guns and everything they had represented in his life thus far.

She'd always been open with him when she headed to the shooting range to practice. She had never kept it a secret from him, and she had never made him feel bad for not wanting anything to do with it.

She had never asked or pushed him to join her and had never taken her weapons out when he was around.

And then one day he had just decided to make a new memory. She had left for the shooting range with her gun case in hand. He had watched her go and spent the better part of an hour wondering what it would be like; to shoot a gun for practice or recreation instead of the horrible reasons he had experienced.

She had been understandably surprised when he asked if he could join her some time. A week later, she had taken him to a shooting range for the first time and he had fired a gun for the second time; the first time since he was eleven years old.

It was a powerful moment. And a powerful memory now. He had expected to be nervous, had expected flashbacks and memories of that fateful day. But Kensi was a comforting presence. She helped him replace his one bad memory with a good one. One good memory became several as he began to join her periodically.

All these years later, he still remembers that first time. And when he thinks about what moved him to stop being a lawyer and become a cop, he knows that first good memory started him on that path.

"You also kicked my ass," he adds, making her laugh.

"I still kick your ass," she retorts. "Every time."

He makes a show of scoffing. "I'd like to see you try."

"Challenge accepted." Her eyes flash with excitement and determination. He smiles back, overwhelmed again with how adorable she can be now that her competitive nature has been triggered.

They don eye and ear protection and proceed with the first round of their competition.

She, of course, wins.

For the second round, they shoot with their off hands.

The results are close and they call it a tie. She's not quite as good with her off hand as her dominant hand, but he's almost equal with his. He jokes that he's ambidextrous, but only Kensi knows how close to the truth that is. As a child, he had a lot of practice using his left hand over his right, so he had developed off handed skills in general at an early age. Probably the only positive result of his father having broken his right arm twice in two years.

For the third round, he changes it up.

"Alright, behind the back, standing on one leg, double tap, center mass." He turns sideways to the target, tucks his right hand behind his back and fires twice.

Kensi raises an eyebrow when he turns to her, smiling. "When would that ever be a shot I would have to take?"

"Right now," he retorts easily. "Unless you're afraid to lose..."

He knows he has her; it's how he usually talks her into ridiculous shots. When challenged, she just can't say no.

She huffs and copies his shooting posture. She fires twice.

They retrieve their targets and Deeks cheers when he sees he's won.

She scoffs. "I object to this round. That was not a valid position to take a shot from."

"And yet, wife of mine, you participated. That means you lose."

Kensi grumbles, which he finds absolutely adorable.

"Fine. What's next?"

"I picked the last one. You pick."

"How about we switch?"

"We already did that," he reminds holding up his gun with his left hand.

She shakes her head. "Not hands. Guns."

He makes a show of sighing. "Kensiii," he whines. "You know I hate your sig."

"Hand it over," she demands, holding out her hand.

She huffs, but passes his Beretta into her care. He makes a face as he takes the sig.

They both fire and then retrieve their targets.

Deeks loses round four.

Kensi laughs almost gleefully as she takes down her target. "That was fun. I actually like how your gun fires."

"Yeah, well, don't get used to it," he says lightly. "It's mine."

"I thought what's yours is mine, and what's mine is yours?" She jokes.

He places her sig down and then crowds into her space. She laughs and pretends to fight him off, but easily allows him to take his Beretta back from her. "I let you borrow it once in a while," he tells her. "And you know you're the only person I've ever let fire it."

She stretches up on her tiptoes and pecks him on the lips. "I know."

He smiles down at her, surprised she'd kiss him at work.

She seems to realize what she's done at the same time and blushes slightly.

"I probably shouldn't have done that."

He shrugs, but backs out of her space. "I have no problem with it." He puckers his lips. "You can kiss me any time, Kensalina."

She laughs and places her hand across his face, using it to push him back a step. "You know I hate that name."

"You love it," he counters.

"Just because I love you, doesn't mean I love every stupid thing you say."

He cocks his head. "I'm not sure whether to be delighted or offended by that."

She laughs again. "Be delighted. And stop calling me Kensalina."

He smiles at the sound of the nickname on her own lips. "Never."

00

The case of the day starts out simply enough. Thomas Booth, an Army Sergeant turned Delta Force operator, has disappeared. His car was found the previous evening in a parking garage. He had a small video camera on his dashboard, which was analyzed and caused the case to be assigned to them. The video footage showed him being abducted by two men.

To add to the importance of finding Booth, his service record shows a number of highly classified, joint task force operations. His unit had been responsible for hunting down high value targets in Afghanistan. He had also put in for retirement two months earlier and the abduction took place on the first day he was considered a civilian.

"Well, something's going on here," Callen says what they're all thinking. "Sam and I will meet with the rest of Booth's unit. You two look into leads on the kidnappers."

"On it," Deeks says. He follows his wife from OPs. Eric had ruled out all but one vehicle caught leaving the garage, so they start there. Eric sends them the location of the car. A search of the area leads them to an empty lot with a pair of old, broken down cars. Unfortunately, they find Booth's body in one of the cars.

Kensi calls in their find to Callen as Deeks takes pictures, frowning at the obvious signs of torture.

"The body's in bad shape," he hears Kensi relay to Callen. "Clear signs of torture." She pauses, listening. "Mm-hmm, looks professional. And whatever information they wanted from him, we think he gave up." She pauses again. "Looks like he was killed with a shot to the head. Mercy kill." She pauses again, longer this time. "Alright, we'll let you know."

She ends the call and turns back to him. "We're to wait for forensics to show up. Callen and Sam got a possible lead. Apparently, Booth had a volatile relationship with his son."

"How old?"

"Eighteen."

Deeks sighs. "I really hope it wasn't the son."

While Kensi and Deeks wait for a forensics team, Callen and Sam speak with Booth's son, Brandon. They only get part way through an interview with the eighteen year old when they are attacked and Brandon takes off.

As Callen and Sam track down leads from their partial interview, Kensi and Deeks manage to track down Brandon Booth. He's scared and agitated, walking alone along a mostly empty sidewalk.

Brandon stops when Kensi and Deeks approach him. "Do you want to talk about my dad, too?" He demands. "Because the last time someone asked about him, I almost got killed."

Deeks immediately recognizes Brandon's anger for what it is; defeat and fear. He had lost his mother a few years ago and is now dealing with the loss of his father, a man who was supposed to be a parent but whom he could never count on. Deeks can relate.

"We're just here to make sure you're safe," Deeks says, speaking first. "You don't have to talk about your dad if you don't want to. God knows I'm not talking about mine." He adds the last comment, knowing it will pull Brandon to relate to him. He motions to Kensi. "You feeling like talking about your dad, Kensi?"

"Not a chance," Kensi responds, following his lead flawlessly.

"See?" Deeks says to Brandon. "We're all on the same page."

Brandon nods. "I live a few blocks from here."

"All right, we'll give you a ride," Kensi says.

Brandon agrees and follows them without incident to the car. Kensi drives them to Brandon's apartment. Once they arrive, Deeks takes Brandon inside and ensures it's safe while Kensi does a perimeter check.

"It's clear, Kensi," he calls through his comm.

"It's clear out here," she responds immediately. "I'm coming around."

"Okay."

He makes his way back to Brandon, who is sifting through items on his desk. Looking for any information possible, Deeks notices a blue card envelope sitting on top of a pile of mail.

"Someone's birthday?" He asks.

Brandon huffs. "Yeah, it's my dad's handwriting. Only a week late this time. So typical."

"You going to open it?"

"No." Brandon picks up the card and tosses it into the garbage bin.

Deeks sighs as he watches the defeated younger man. "You know, I know what it's like-"

Brandon scoffs. "What's like?" He asks, challenging Deeks.

Deeks meets his gaze evenly. "To be alone. To have had a father I couldn't ever count on. To lose my mother. To finish high school and be forced to either do something for myself or suffer forever."

Brandon glances away from him and then looks back warily, clearly thrown off that Deeks had read him so easily. "You don't know me."

He shrugs. "No, I don't. But I know enough to have an opinion here." He pauses for a moment to make sure Brandon is listening. "I was angry, too. I was angry and beaten down and felt like I didn't matter to anyone. But I forced myself to move forward anyway, to prove wrong everyone who thought I could never make anything of myself." He pauses again. "And it was the best thing I ever did."

Brandon looks away again, his attention on the desk between them.

"I'm not trying to preach to you," Deeks tells him. "I'm just saying there's another way to live. A way where you don't have to be alone." He remembers with great clarity the loneliness he had lived with for too long, and once he started school, he had been surrounded, but still shielded himself from being too close to anyone. If you didn't grow attached, no one could hurt you.

But then he had met Kensi. And she changed his world. He didn't have to be alone and he didn't have to be afraid.

"Yeah, maybe," Brandon mutters.

Deeks nods, and then turns when he hears the door open behind him.

"We good?" Kensi asks.

Deeks nods. "We're good." He turns back to Brandon. "We'll leave you here, but stay inside. If I come back looking for you and you're not here, you know I'll find you."

"Okay," Brandon says. He turns and heads into the kitchen.

Deeks watches him go and then ducks down to lift the card out of the garbage pail. Kensi shoots him a questioning look, but he waves her off, not wanting to discuss it in Brandon's earshot.

Once they're in the car, Kensi glances at him. "You want to explain that?"

"Birthday card from his dad. A week late. He didn't want to open it."

"And tossed it," she says, following along.

"Yup." He runs his finger under the flap, trying to open the card with as little damage to the envelope as possible.

"And you swiped it because...?"

He pulls the card out and then glances at his wife. "I just...have a feeling it could be important." He opens the card. Other than the printed 'Happy Birthday' inside, it's blank and unsigned. But tucked inside the card is a picture of a young boy and his father, smiling at the camera.

"Brandon and Thomas Booth?" Kensi questions.

He nods. "I think so."

"Odd that he would send that now. And without any notes."

He nods as he lifts the photo to examine it. "It's also a newly printed photo. No creases or anything. And considering how old Brandon looks in that photo, it wasn't taken on a digital camera, so there must be a reason it was just printed now." He glances at his wife. "Maybe Eric will find something?"

She nods. "Let's get back to OPs."

Deeks's hunch turns out to be right. Eric finds a hidden message in the photo, leading to the location of a terrorist high ranking in the Taliban. Thomas Booth, knowing he may be killed, had sent the information to his son, knowing if he was killed, NCIS would investigate and find the information.

Within a few hours, Callen and Sam are on a plane to Afghanistan with Booth's former team to hunt down the Taliban official and people responsible for Booth's death.

Left behind again, Kensi and Deeks finish their reports before heading out.

"Apartment or the house?" Kensi asks.

He smiles softly at his wife, enjoying the fact that they can talk freely while the rest of the team is away. "It's still early. Let's see what we can get done at the house tonight." Although they don't have to get everything done before they move in, he knows it'll be easier to do as much as they can first.

"Sounds good."

"Yeah. It does." He takes a moment to stare at the woman he loves more than anything in the world, reminding himself of how much he has in his life now that he didn't when he was Brandon's age.

"You good?" Kensi asks.

He nods. "I'm good. I just have a stop I need to make on the way home. Do you want to pick up Monty and I'll meet you at the house?"

"Sure. Where are you stopping?"

He picks up the card and photo from his desk. "Someone needs a little hope in his life."

She smiles softly at him, her eyes filled with empathy. Although they had both spent several formative years without fathers, she had had a great relationship with a great father before losing him. He had had neither. She knows the struggle he went through to want to make something of his life after high school. And he knows she knows he may just be able to reach Brandon Booth.

"I'm glad you care so much, Marty," she tells him. She pads over to him and reaches to grip his forearm. "Take your time. Monty and I will meet you at the house."

"I'll pick up dinner on my way," he offers.

"Sounds great."

Once Kensi is gone, Deeks picks up a pen. He hesitates a few times, stuck on what to write, before finally settling on something that would leave a mark on Brandon Booth. _I wish I tried harder, Love Dad_ , he writes on the back of the photo.

He waves the photo back and forth to make sure the ink is dry, and then he tucks it back into the card and slides the card into the envelope.

Brandon is home when Deeks walks up to his door.

"Hey, what's up?"

Deeks hesitates slightly, hoping he's made the right decision. "Hey, um, I just came to give you this." He passes the card to Brandon.

Brandon takes the card and shoots a glare at Deeks. "I threw this out for a reason."

"I know. And I'm not saying you have to open it, all right? All I'm doing is giving you another chance if you feel like it."

Brandon stares at him for a long moment, saying nothing. Then he slowly opens the envelope and pulls out the card. His expression falls at the unsigned card, but he pauses when he flips over the photo. His eyes well ever so slightly and his jaw tightens.

Deeks stays quiet, knowing from Brandon's expression that he had made the right decision.

"He actually..." Brandon starts, but trails off.

Deeks nods along, knowing there are several possible endings for Brandon's words. He passes Brandon a card with his number on it. "If you ever need anything, even just to talk, don't hesitate to call."

Brandon takes the card, his attention still mostly on the photo. "Thank you."

00

Deeks picks up dinner - burgers, which he figures is the easiest thing for them to eat at the house where there are no plates and no cutlery yet - and heads to the house. Kensi's car is in the driveway, and he smiles when he pulls his car up next to hers.

 _Their driveway. And their house_.

He can't wait to actually move in. He wants to build this new home with her. He wants to settle in and give her more stability than she's ever known. He wants that stability for himself. Not a temporary rental, but a permanent home that they _own_.

He makes his way inside. Kensi is playing music from the small stereo that had made its way to the new house over the weekend.

He rolls his eyes at the techno music she loves for some reason unfathomable to him.

"Honey, I'm home," he calls over the music.

There is a pause before she appears from the living room. She practically beams at him. "How very traditional of us, with the husband coming home at the end of the work day..."

He chuckles and leans down to kiss her. Then he raises the bag of burgers for emphasis. "If we were really traditional, you would have a home cooked meal prepared. I wouldn't be bringing home burgers."

"I could make a home cooked meal, you know," she challenges. "I just know you wouldn't eat it."

He narrows his eyes at her. "Wouldn't eat it or couldn't eat it...?"

She swipes at his shoulder, laughing openly. "I am not that bad!"

He hooks his arm around her waist as he leads her to the kitchen. They don't have a table here yet, but there is a breakfast bar and stools.

"Where's Monty?"

"Backyard," she tells him. "He loves it here."

He presses his lips to the side of her head before releasing her. "I love it here, too."

"Me, too," she says, reaching up to tug him down for a proper kiss. "It's going to be amazing when we're done with these changes." They've already picked out new flooring - new carpets upstairs, hardwood floors for the main floor, and tile in the kitchen and bathrooms - which will all be installed over the next week, prior to their move. Although they couldn't admit to Julia that they can't both take time off because they work together and their coworkers don't know they're married, Julia knows them both to be busy at work and had offered to be available and at the house for installation and deliveries. At the end of the week, they are set to receive their new appliances, and early the following week, some furniture they had ordered.

They hope to get most if not all of the painting done in the next week, too.

And then it's finally moving day.

"Our perfect home," he agrees.

She releases him and helps him to divvy up the burgers and fries.

"How did it go with Brandon?"

"Good, I think."

"You were really good with him today," she tells him. "You reached him when Callen and Sam couldn't. And I don't think I could have either."

Deeks shrugs. "We have some things in common."

She surprises him when she leans into him and rests her head on his shoulder. "I'm so glad you were able to figure things out for yourself, Marty. I can't imagine my life now if I hadn't met you."

He turns his neck and ducks his head to kiss the top of her head. "I can't imagine not having you in my life either." He sighs. "I can still remember what it was like to feel so alone in the world."

She lifts her head from his shoulder and turns to look him in the eye. "Well, you're not alone anymore. And you helped Brandon feel less alone today."

"I hope so."

"I know so," she says, her faith in him making him feel stronger like it always does. "I know how hard you try to help people, Marty. I know you were able to reach him."

"I... I think I did," he says quietly.

"You are a good man, Marty Deeks," she tells him. "And a good husband." She pauses for a moment. "And...I think you'll be a good father one day."

He feels his brow furrow. "You _think_ I'll be a good father?"

She huffs a laugh and covers for face with her hands for a few seconds. When she pulls them away, she's laughing openly. "That is not what I meant to say. Well, it's _what_ I meant to say, just not how it was supposed to sound." She shakes her head. "I mean, I know you'd be a _good_ father. And I think..." She trails off for a moment to take a breath. "I think you'll _be_ a father."

He feels his heart speed up at her words. He's spent all of their marriage knowing he wants to have kids with her, but also knowing there's a good chance she'll never want kids. He's never pushed and he's never asked her to put his needs or wants above her own. And he's known he'll be okay without kids as long as he has her, but having her _and_ having kids with her is his absolute number one dream.

"Really?" He asks softly. He hears his voice crack, but he can't begin to care.

She nods, tears welling in her eyes, knowing what this means to him. "I've been thinking about it more and more," she admits. "I'm not ready right now, but I... I think... I think we can do this. Together."

He exhales shakily and wraps both arms around her. "Together we can do anything," he whispers fiercely.


	36. Absolution & Deliverance

Episodes 2.09 - Absolution and 2.10 - Deliverance

Deeks's heart thuds painfully in his chest as his quick paced walk becomes a sprint as he hurries up the many stairs of the stadium. After handing over a (fake) little black book of cold war secrets to a Russian Agent, he had wanted to grab the man and shake him until he gave up the whereabouts of his wife. When the Agent had motioned up the stairs towards an entrance, Deeks had trusted that if he followed the unsaid instructions he would find his wife. But the expression on the Russian's face - the smirk and undeniable sense triumph - had Deeks questioning whether he would find his wife alive.

He made it up the stairs to the entrance and ran through the tunnel leading to the indoor walkway that surrounded the stadium. During the season, when games were being held here, there would vendors of both food and products to serve the tens of thousands of fans.

Today, the inside walkway is quiet and deserted.

Deeks pauses at the end of the tunnel, the walkway stretching away from him and wrapping around the curve of the stadium in both directions. Breathing hard, he spins around, searching for any sign of his wife.

"Kens!" He calls.

There is no answer.

He tries again, desperate to find her. "Kensi!"

The hall around him remains silent.

He runs a hand over his face, desperate. In his earwig, he can hear Callen and Sam muttering to each other as they prepare to overtake the Russians. He shakes his head and reaches to turn off the comm, needing to be able to focus.

He stands still. Silent. Listening. Hoping against hope that she is near and she is okay.

His chest heaves and he closes his eyes, trying to calm himself. After she'd been taken from him, the Russian's had sent a link to a video feed. Kensi had been standing, still and scared, in what looked like a small room. She was near a corner, so that means at least two walls. But the only source of light had been from above, so it must be closed in. He strides forward, heading for a smaller hallway off the entrance to the stadium. At the end is a door. Probably a storage room.

The door is unlocked, and he silently twists the knob. He draws his gun and pushes into the room, prepared to do whatever is needed to save his wife if she is here.

Kensi is standing on the far side of an otherwise empty room.

"Kensi," he breathes in relief.

"Marty, stop," she commands.

He pauses two steps into the room and stares at his oddly still wife. She's clutching her arms around her own torso and she's breathing hard. Her hair is dishevelled, but she's clearly made no move to so much as brush it back from her eyes. Her face is pale and damp with sweat. She's trembling slightly and looks absolutely exhausted.

"Switch off the lights," she practically pleads.

Deeks feels his chest tighten before he even reaches for the light switch. Kensi's posture and tone scream to him that this nightmare is not over yet.

He switches off the light and a series of red lines light up the room between him and Kensi. She's effectively trapped in the corner, separated from him by a sea of laser beams.

He puffs his cheeks and exhales slowly. "Okay. Now we know why you didn't move." When he had stared forlornly up at the video feed beside Callen and Sam, not knowing where his wife was, none of them had been able to guess why she had been standing so still.

She meets his eyes from across the room, her posture strained and expression defeated.

He takes another breath. No matter what this is, he is not letting her die. He will not stand here across the room while she suffers.

"They're triggers," she explains, probably repeating what has been told to her by the asshole Russians who had taken her from him just a few hours earlier. "Break the beam and the explosives detonate."

He exhales sharply and nods. "Okay. Okay, calling the bomb squad." He begins to reach for his cell phone, but she shakes her head, stopping him.

"Marty, please," she begs. "I can't stand here any longer. I can't... Please."

He swears he can hear his heart breaking apart at her tone. His wife is fierce and strong. A force of nature.

He's never seen her so defeated. So desperate. It can only mean this is really, really bad. And he knows there's no way he can say no to her when she's begging him to help her.

Exhaling again, he nods. He will get her out of this. She is his wife and his partner and she is not going to die today.

"Yeah, okay. It's okay," he tries to offer some comfort, wanting nothing more than to stride across the room and take her into his arms. But right now, separated by something that could end their life together, he is doing the best he can to comfort them both. "I, uh... It's going to be okay. We'll go with Plan B."

She nods, eyes imploring and filled with trust. "What's Plan B?"

"I, uh... I'm thinking."

She exhales and her body deflates ever so slightly.

He meets her eyes as evenly as he can. "I just need a minute. It's going to be okay. I promise."

She nods, still defeated, but also still trusting.

He runs his hand through his hair as he takes in the situation and tries to look at it rationally. He fights to clear his mind of the last few day's events. The search for the little black book of cold war secrets. Saving Hetty from a past cold war rival. Thinking it was over, only to have it all thrown back in their face when a man from Hetty's past was murdered and agents from so many countries descended on Los Angeles in search of the little black book. The team thinking it was safely tucked away in a safety deposit box at a bank. Him and Kensi being the bait to lure the Russians away from the bank while Sam accessed the safety deposit box. Thinking he had gotten away from the Russians after picking Kensi up and a brief car chase, only to be cornered. Standing outside the car, weapons drawn, the two of them against three Russian agents. _Four of us die and one of us lives_ , the head Russian agent had said before demanding Kensi go with them.

He had offered himself up in her place. He had done everything he could. He had begged and pleaded and demanded she stay.

But she had turned to him, so must trust in her eyes. _It's okay. You'll get me back_.

He exhales sharply now. Because she had given herself up to save him. And she's looking at him now with the same trust as she had then.

He is not going to let her down. Her life - _their_ lives and life _together_ \- is in his hands.

In his hands. He looks down at his gun and then up at the lasers.

He nods to himself and begins to attach the tactical laser pointer to his gun.

"Plan B is to put me out of my misery?" She asks, looking to know the plan.

He huffs a laughing breath and then turns serious again. "Laser triggers," he states, motioning at the beams and the black receivers attached at multiple points around the room. He holds up his gun, laser attached. "If the collector receives light at the same frequency, it's not going to register that the beams been broken."

She nods along. "Like in that book we read. About the casino heist."

He nods. "Exactly."

She closes her eyes for a long moment.

He feels his calm slipping. "Or I can call the bomb squad."

She opens her eyes and shakes her head. "No. I need this to be over. The bomb squad could take hours. I can't stand here that long."

He stares back at her, feeling his eyes sting at her hopelessness.

"I trust you," she tells him.

"I love you," he says back.

She nods, her eyes welling as well. "I love you," she echoes. She takes a breath. "I've loved our life, Marty-"

"No," he says sharply. "You don't get to say goodbye to me. You don't ever get to say goodbye."

A single tear slips down her cheek. "I don't want to say goodbye."

"Then don't."

"I need you to know..."

He blinks furiously against the stinging in his own eyes. "I know," he breathes. "God, Kens, I know."

She nods. "Good." She swallows hard. "If this doesn't work... You get yourself out of this room-"

"Not a chance," he says, cutting her off again. "You're getting out of this, Kensi. And if you don't..." He shakes his head. "If you don't, then we go down fighting together."

"Marty..."

He shakes his head. "We are both getting out of this," he says with more confidence than he is feeling. "We have so much more coming to us. And we deserve more together. The house. Working together every day, being partners. Our long awaited vacation. Even..." He swallows hard as his voice cracks. "Even starting a family one day."

She meets his eyes for a long moment. Then she takes a breath and stands a little stronger. "You're right." She takes another breath. "Okay, Marty. I'm ready."

"Okay," he echoes. "Where do you want to start?"

She motions to a diagonal beam that crosses in front of her. "This one."

He raises his weapon and flicks on the laser. He finds the receiver for the beam and holds steady. "Okay."

He keeps his focus on the receiver, but in the corner of his eye he can see her shuffling around the beam, doing her best to avoid breaking the beam lest his laser not be enough to save them. After the longest and most stressful moment of his life, she stills.

"Okay," she says quietly.

He flicks his eyes to her to make sure she is clear before he moves his laser from the receiver.

She is barely any closer to him, but her eyes are alight with determination now. One step forward has served to prove to her that this is possible. She motions to the next laser.

He finds the receiver. Again, from the corner of his eye he watches her move. "Doing awesome, Kens. No hurry."

"No hurry," she echoes.

"Just think of the awesome story we'll have when this is done."

She huffs a breath, not quite able to laugh. "A story we won't be allowed to tell anyone."

He smiles at that. "We'll tell the grandkids one day."

She finishes traversing the most recent beam and stops. "That sounds really good."

He meets her eyes and nods encouragingly. "It's going to happen."

She nods back at him. "I believe you."

Deeks offers his wife a smile, amazed as always by her strength and her bravery.

The next obstacle is a pair of beams. She has to step over the bottom one and duck under the top one simultaneously. And he can only block one.

"You're pretty awesome, you know," he tells her as she is contorting her body to make it through.

"I try," she says back.

"I hated that they took you and not me." He swallows down the memory of the desperation that had overtaken him as she had been guided into the car and taken away from him. "But right now I'm thinking it's better than if it was you because there is no way I could pull off this contortionist routine."

Having finished this set of lasers, she stands and manages to offer him a hint of a smile. "Yeah, you're not that flexible."

He huffs. "I do yoga with you."

"You _try_ to do yoga with me," she counters.

Deeks smiles at his wife, grateful she is able to stay calm and banter in this situation. "I am a normal amount of flexible. It's you who has super human abilities."

"I try," she says.

They line up for the next beam and she steps over it without issue.

"How did you find me?" She asks.

He shakes his head. "Let's get you out of here and then I'll explain."

She meets his eyes for a moment and then motions to the next beam. "Please, Marty. I need something to distract me."

He lines up his laser with the applicable receiver. "The Russians demanded the book in exchange for you. But the book wasn't in the safety deposit box."

"Where was it?"

"Who knows. Nell created a fake book with microdots. Not enough to hold up to real inspection, but enough to work long enough to get them to tell me where you were."

She clears the beam and stops, breathing heavy and clearly needing a short break. She closes her eyes and breathes in and then out.

"Almost done," he tells her. She's made it two thirds of the way across the room.

"I just want to go home," she whispers.

"We will. Soon. To our _house_ ," he reminds, wanting her to stay positive. They had officially moved in a week earlier. Work is still needed, but all the major remodeling has been done. The new floors were installed without issue. Most of the painting is done. Their new appliances and furniture arrived as expected. Their things fit seamlessly in the new home. And the state of the art security system is up and running.

She opens her eyes. "Our house," she echoes.

"We'll go home today and rest. But then we need to finish unpacking this weekend," he reminds, giving her something to look forward to. "All our pictures need a place to be displayed. And we need a new frame for the picture of us with the house."

She nods and glances at the red lines around her. "Almost done."

"Almost," he confirms.

She motions to the next beam.

"Ready?"

She nods.

He turns on his laser and once it's lined up with the receiver, Kensi contorts herself under the low beam in a deadly version of limbo.

"Where are Callen and Sam?" She asks, apparently still needing the distraction.

"On site. Going after the Russians."

"What did they say?"

"About?"

She finishes the beam and stands upright. She considers him for a moment. "You didn't tell them?"

He stares back at her before realizing what she's asking. "About us?" He shakes his head. "No. I didn't tell them."

She stares back at him, looking almost disappointed. "I thought you would have. Pretty sure I would have been out of my mind if they had taken you instead of me."

"Oh, I was out of my mind," he agrees. "But they were distracted by their own concern for you while I freaked out. And then I realized if I told them, they would pull me off the case." He motions to the lasers around them. "They definitely wouldn't have let me go after you and handle something like this." And there was no way he was going to allow himself to be taken off the case.

"Yeah, you're probably pretty compromised."

He half smiles at that. "Probably. But there is nowhere else I would rather be right now, unless you were there with me." He exhales slowly. "We'll tell them one day. Soon. But not out of desperation. Out of choice."

She nods. "Agreed." She glances at the next set of laser beams. The last set separating the two of them. A set of beams cross in front of her.

He follows her focus, knowing she can traverse one if he blocks the other. He raises his gun and points the laser, but frowns when he can't line it up with the receiver. "I can't get it," he tells her, sucking in a ragged breath at the implication.

She shuffles forward, standing so close to him, but separated by a set of beams she can't possible clear. She closes her eyes and he sees her body tremble.

He knows she's been standing here for hours. She's exhausted and in pain. He will not make her stand where she is now, so much closer to freedom and yet not close at all, to wait for the bomb squad.

He returns his gun to the back waistband of his pants. When she opens her eyes, he reaches his hands out to her between the beams.

She glances at his proffered hands and then looks back up to meet his eyes. She swallows hard, clearly afraid, but her eyes are shining with faith in him.

"Are you sure?"

"No," he says, keeping his eyes on hers. "But we're getting out of this together or not at all."

"Together," she breathes, taking his hands. "Not at all isn't okay. We have too much to live for."

He closes his hands strongly around her wrists as she does the same to him. "Agreed." He will pull her out of this room with more strength that he knows he possesses if he has to. He is not going to let her die here and now.

"On three." He says. "You ready?"

She nods, eyes still trained on his, the complete faith in him not wavering.

"One," he says.

"Two," she follows.

"Three!" they say together.

As Kensi lunges forward, Deeks pulls her towards himself with as much effort as possible. He's falling backwards when the room lights up. Heat explodes around them. Then he hears the blast. Still clutching to his wife, he flails through the heated air.

He finally stops moving when he hits something hard. The wind knocks out of his lungs. Pain explodes behind his eyes and a roaring sounds in his ears. There's pressure all around him.

A moment passes and then another. He realizes he's lying on his back on the ground. And he's pretty sure he's alive and in one piece. Gasping for breath, his arms flail out and he realizes Kensi is on top of him. Still disoriented, his hands grasp for her body, holding her close. He struggles to open his eyes, seeing stars before the intensity of the light makes him think he's in the middle of a fire.

But his pupils finally respond and filter the bright light.

Sunlight.

They really made it outside the room.

His hands begin to make sense of the body on top of him and press against her back. She's warm to the touch from the explosion, but he can't feel any obvious burns or injuries. He can feel her breathing hard against him.

He breathes his own sigh of relief. Because they're both alive.

She lifts her head from his chest and meets his eyes. She's still breathing hard, but manages to find his gaze. "Oh... we're..."

"Yeah," he manages.

Her breath hitches and he holds her tighter.

She swallows hard and continues to pant. She stares down at him as she slowly regains control over her breathing. "Hi," she finally manages.

He's not sure if he's laughing or sobbing in relief. "Hi," he echoes. He moves one hand from her back to hold her hair away from her face. "You good?"

"I think so. You?"

"I think so."

Her breath slowing, she lays her head down onto his chest. For a moment, they lay together, calm and quiet. He holds her to him, needing the tactile reminder that she is alive. They're okay; they got out together.

A hissing noise draws his attention and he realizes the roaring noise he's hearing is not in his head, but the fire now raging in the room.

A room they really need to move away from.

He shifts under her and groans. He's landed hard and he's sure to have an array of bruises up his back. Not to mention he must have cracked his head on the ground because it's screaming at him now.

Kensi looks up in concern, but he manages to shift upwards and kiss her before she can comment.

He doesn't care about the pain. He has his wife in his arms and she's alive. _That_ is what matters to him in this moment.

"We should move," he manages.

"Yeah." She rolls off of him and manages to sit upright.

He sits up beside her. "You good?" He knows he already asked, but he's probably going to need a hundred assurances after today.

She shakes her head like she's trying to clear it and then turns to meet his eyes. "I really gotta pee."

He actually finds himself laughing at the banality of it all.

She struggles to her feet and he follows her lead. It's a sports arena, so he knows there have to been numerous bathrooms. He leads her into the main hallway and immediately spots a sign. He motions towards it and she nods, heading quickly for the door.

Once she's out of sight, he turns to stare down the hallway where smoke is coming out the door. He stares for a long moment, his mind sluggish, before reaching to turn his comm back on, knowing he needs to call the fire in so the fire department can be notified.

The moment the comm is active he flinches and is almost taken to his knees by the excessive sound now screaming into his already throbbing head.

 _"Deeks, status!" Callen is demanding._

 _"What's your location?" Comes Sam's voice._

 _"Where the hell are they?" Callen says._

 _"I'm trying to get a location," is Eric's response._

He blinks away the tears suddenly stinging his eyes at the sensation and closes his eyes. "We're good," he speaks.

The other sounds fall away for a moment. He breathes in relief.

 _"Deeks, where are you?" Sam again._

"Upper hallway. South west side. There was an explosion. We need to call the fire department."

 _"On it," Eric says._

 _"How bad?" Callen asks._

He turns to stare at the fire licking the doors of the room. "Contained for now."

 _"Kensi?"_

"She's good."

 _"And you?"_

"I'm good." He sways ever so slightly, eyes closing again. "But look guys, I really need to turn my comm off." He swallows hard, fighting a wave of nausea.

 _"Are you sure you're okay, Deeks?" Callen demands._

"Just hit my head. Can't...can't take the noise much longer."

 _"Turn off your comm. I'm on my way to you," Sam says._

"See you soon." He turns off his comm and sighs in relief. He's able to open his eyes again. It's still far too bright for his liking, but he moves forward, heading towards the bathroom and his wife.

He hesitates at the door, slow to realize the stadium is empty and he's not about to walk in on anyone but his wife in the women's bathroom.

He pushes open the door and spots Kensi standing in front of one of the many sinks. She's wiping her face with a handful of paper towels. Her eyes are red rimmed and she looks absolutely exhausted.

He feels exhausted too, but he moves towards her, needing to touch her and hold her and remind himself they're safe.

She turns to him and practically falls into his arms. Her body is damp with sweat and the water she's been wiping across her face and neck, but he doesn't care. He holds her tight and ducks his head to bury at the crook of her neck.

"God, I love you," he murmurs.

"I love you, too," she whispers back fiercely, clutching to him.

"I don't know what I would do without you."

"You saved me," she says. "You don't need to think about that."

He pulls back far enough to meet her eyes. He offers her the best smile he's currently able to offer. "You said I'd get you back."

She reaches to brush his hair back from his eyes. "I knew you would."

He loses himself in her eyes, but then flinches when she moves her hand through his hair, brushing over the tender part of the back of his head.

She frowns. "You okay?"

"I think I hit my head."

She pulls her hand from his hair and looks concerned.

"No, hey, I'm okay. Sore, but it's worth it to have you standing in front of me right now."

She nods, accepting his words for now. "I really want to go home."

"Me, too."

Before he can say anything more, he hears Sam calling his name from outside, reminding him there's a whole world out there and they have responsibilities.

"We still have things to do," he says. "But then we're going home together."

"Together," she confirms.

He leads the way out of the bathroom. Sam is a little way down the hallway, turned away from them, but turns towards them at the sound of the door opening.

"There you are." He hurries towards them. "Fire department is on their way. What the hell happened?"

"Room of lasers," Deeks says. "And then boom."

Sam shoots him a questioning look.

"He hit his head," Kensi speaks up. She takes over explaining the situation to Sam. "He hit his head when we landed outside the room."

"And my back," Deeks adds. "Pretty sure I'm going to have a Beretta shaped bruise on the small of my back seeing as I landed on my gun."

If he wasn't sure he was mildly concussed, Deeks would swear he caught Sam cracking a smile.

"You're both okay?" Sam asks.

Deeks nods along with his wife.

"Good. Let's head down. Eric called paramedics as well. You both need to be checked out."

00

It's three hours later when they finally make it home.

The house is quiet and inviting when they walk in the door together. They had driven home together in the same car for the first time. Unfortunately, Deeks's head hurt so much he couldn't even enjoy it.

The paramedics had confirmed he had a minor concussion. Without Callen or Sam in earshot he had confirmed he had someone at home to monitor him in case he got worse, so the paramedics cleared him.

They cleared Kensi, too. She was determined to be dehydrated but otherwise okay.

Once back at the Mission, Hetty had declared Deeks unfit to drive and had suggested in front of everyone that Kensi drive him home.

They were halfway home before Deeks realized Hetty had been helping them keep their cover.

Now that they're home, he could care less about keeping secrets. All he wants is to curl up in bed with his wife.

Monty greets them at the door, wagging his tail in excitement that his people are home. Deeks sighs at the reminder that there are things he needs to do before they lay down.

He lets the dog out into the backyard and then checks to make sure he has sufficient food and water.

Kensi makes her way to the fridge and pulls out two bottles of water. "Here," she says, holding one bottle out to him.

"Thanks," he takes a sip and then pulls a bottle of Advil from the cabinet. He swallows two and then holds the bottle out to her.

"I'm good," she tells him.

"That's right; I broke your fall."

She manages a smile, but it quickly falls flat.

"Hey," he calls to her. "We're okay."

Her voice is just a little raspy when she responds. "I know. That was just really close."

He steps forward into her space and wraps his arms around her. "Too close," he agrees. He loves this woman in his arms more than anything and can't begin to imagine his life without her.

"You don't get to die for me, okay?"

He holds her a little tighter. "Well, you don't get to die and leave me alone."

She huffs against him, and he cracks a smile. She may be exhausted after today, but she's still able to hold onto a hint of her normal stubbornness.

"Don't tell me you wouldn't have done exactly the same thing for me," he adds.

"Yeah..." She murmurs.

He presses a kiss to her head. "We fight together, Kens."

"Together," she confirms.

He runs his hand up and down her back. "You must be exhausted."

She sniffs against him. "I am."

"Do you want anything to eat?"

"No. I just want to have a shower and go to bed."

"Okay." He presses a kiss to her forehead. "Go get started. I'll get Monty in, lock up and meet you upstairs."

She tugs him down to her level and kisses him before stepping out of his arms.

Deeks watches her go and then moves to check that they had locked the front door. He moves back through the house and calls Monty in from the backyard. He closes and locks the backdoor. He picks up his water bottle from the kitchen as he makes his way towards the stairs and then heads up to the bedroom.

Kensi is stepping out of the shower when he makes it to the bathroom.

"Feel better?"

"Yeah. I needed to feel clean. Now I really need to sleep."

"Hmm, me, too. Stressful day." He's spent most of the day on an adrenaline surge, frantic to locate his wife. But he's long since come down and crashed. Adding to that the headache and overall soreness, and he's right there with her wanting to sleep.

"I will meet you in bed momentarily."

He strips down and jumps in the shower. He hears the rumble of Kensi's hair dryer as he lets the warm water wash him clean of this horrible day.

When he steps out of the shower, his wife is gone from the bathroom. He brushes his teeth and towel dries his hair as much as possible.

He turns off the light and steps out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. Kensi is propped up in the bed, the blankets pulled up to her chest. He can just recognize his own tee shirt draped across her shoulders above the blanket.

He drops his towel, not caring if it lays on the floor overnight tonight and pulls on a pair of boxers.

When he finally slips into bed, Kensi shifts down beside him and pulls close. He wraps his arms around her and finally breathes in relief at the familiar feeling of her soft form resting against him under the warmth of their covers.

"I know I've said it a lot already today, but I really love you," he tells her.

"I love you, too, Marty," she whispers back. "So much."

He breathes in and then out, letting his eyes close. From the way she's breathing against him, he knows she's already drifting off. "Sleep," he whispers. "Tomorrow will be a better day."

"All good days with you," she murmurs.

He not entirely certain if she's completely coherent, but he still smiles. "Today could have been better."

"I knew you'd come for me," she whispers, proving that she is still conscious enough to be coherent.

"Always, Kens."

"Hmm..." She sighs as he body relaxes against him. "Lucky to have you."

He holds her tight and presses a kiss to her head. "I'm the lucky one. You've made my life better since the moment I met you."

00

 _The school gym left something to be desired._

 _It wasn't exactly well equipped. And while the women's change room was near the actual gym area, the men's change room was out by the lobby. It was also much too small to service the number of students attending the school who wanted to work out._

 _After more than one frustrating trip to the gym only to stand in line longer waiting for equipment than time spent actually using the equipment, most of Deeks's buddies had given up and signed up for private gyms off campus._

 _Not one with any money to spare, Deeks had simply started going at early hours when it wasn't as busy. He could work out without fighting over equipment and without interfering with his school, work or party time._

 _It was early in his fourth year when he made his way to the gym before sunrise for a workout. He entered the familiar small men's change room and exchanged his jeans and sweater for his workout clothes: a white shirt, red shorts and black socks._

 _He yawned and was somewhat regretting his choice to drag himself out of bed as he made his way out of the change room and headed across the lobby. He turned the corner and pretty much collided with someone else._

 _"Sorry!" He said quickly, stepping back._

 _"No, I'm sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going..." The young women he ran into trailed off as she met his eyes._

 _Deeks swallowed hard as he felt a shock of something unfamiliar when their eyes met. He stared for a long moment before shaking his head and offering her a smile._

 _"Haven't seen you here before."_

 _She offered him a hesitant smile back. She was wearing a bag across her shoulder and her hands moved to clutch at the strap. "Well, I haven't seen you here, either," she shot back at him. There was no bite to her tone, but there was fire in her eyes._

 _His smile widened and he nodded in appreciation._

 _Her smile widened, too. "I like working out early," she told him. "It's not busy now."_

 _He nodded. "That is the only reason I'm here this early. I'm not exactly a morning person."_

 _She shrugged. "I like getting a start on my day." He could tell that she was trying to act nonchalant, but this was actually something important to her. He wouldn't have been surprised if she was at the gym every day. She was young and slim, but he could tell that she was strong and fit, even through her jeans and black tank top. She wasn't like the skinny girls he knew who didn't eat much of anything._

 _"Cardio or weights?"_

 _"Both," she said easily, though her tone made him believe she did more than that. Her posture was straight and even, and her eyes held a sense of self assuredness and confidence that he found himself drawn to. She was young, yes, but in age only._

 _"What are you studying?" He asked._

 _Her eyes - which he was pretty sure were mismatched - flashed slightly and she ducked her head. Her long, wavy hair hid her face for a moment. Then she met his gaze again, her eyes fierce and protective. "You know, general courses and stuff."_

 _It was a clear brush off._

 _He tried again. "You new to California?"_

 _She bristled, but kept his gaze this time. "Not...not exactly."_

 _"Used to live here, or...?" He kept his question open ended._

 _Her grip on her bag strap tightened. "Something like that."_

 _She was tense and clearly not interested in talking about herself. He was suddenly afraid she was going to leave. He needed to find a way to keep her there._

 _"Well, I grew up here," he offered, hoping that by telling her something about himself he would put her at ease._

 _She appeared somewhat more at ease, but he wasn't sure if that was just because he wasn't asking her questions about herself. In fact, he was pretty sure that was exactly the reason. Time for another tactic._

 _He motioned to his head. "But you could probably tell that from the surfer hair."_

 _She cracked a smile and he felt a well of relief. "I wasn't going to presume," she attempted a joke._

 _"Oh, presume away," he said. "It's pretty much mandatory, whether you surf or not. Especially if you're blond."_

 _She hesitated before asking, "What's mandatory? The length or the shagginess?"_

 _He almost laughed out loud, impressed with her. "Both. And I'll have you know this is shaggy-chic."_

 _She did laugh. "Shaggy-chic?" She echoed. Then she scrunched her nose, which he found absolutely adorable._

 _He nodded emphatically, playing it up for her. "Basically I don't own a hairbrush. And I have a tendency to shower at night and go to bed with my hair wet."_

 _"So, more like 'pillow messy chic.'"_

 _It was his turn to make a face. "Nah, messy and chic do not go together."_

 _She raised an eyebrow. "But shaggy and chic do?"_

 _"Oh, touché."_

 _She smirked and then said, "How about pillow-styled?"_

 _He pursed his lips for a moment before his eyes lit up. "Style by pillow."_

 _She nodded. "That sounds good."_

 _He got caught up staring into her eyes for a long moment. One eye was definitely darker than the other, which only served to make her even more beautiful. He wanted to ask her about it, but she finally seemed comfortable, so he didn't want to set her off again. He ran his left hand through his hair and then held his right out to her. "I'm Marty."_

 _She hesitated for only a moment before reaching for his hand. "Kensi."_

 _"Kensi," he echoed, testing her name._

 _She bit down onto her lip, but kept contact with his eyes. He lost himself again staring into her gaze. It was only when she shifted her hand slightly in his that he realized he was still holding it._

 _"It's really nice to meet you, Kensi," he said._

 _She returned her hand to the strap of her bag, but smiled softly. "It's nice to meet you, too, Marty."_

* * *

 _ **AN: I hope both the 'current time' and flashback live up to expectation. For those who track these things, the flashback in chapter 33 falls directly after this, and then leads into the flashback chapter of 23.**_

 _ **Also, this was always going to be how they first met in this story. In Neighbourhood Watch (3.22), when Deeks remembers/announces what Kensi was wearing when they first met, he was actually wrong considering their first meeting on the show. I thought this was the perfect way to 'fix' that error.**_


	37. Disorder

_**AN: So sorry about the unacceptably long delay. Basically, life sucks right now and isn't allowing for much writing time. I really want to thank everyone who has reached out and been supportive over the past few months. I don't like to share too many details online, but my family has now lost a member to a long battle with cancer. And more than anything else that can/does suck right now, cancer is at the top of the list.**_

 _ **This chapter was a long time coming because I struggle to pick up where I've left off easily in chapters that follow the show closely. So, my apologies ahead of time if it seems a little disjointed. And very, very long. This episode (Disorder) had a lot of good Kensi scenes, Kensi/Deeks scenes, and team scenes. As a result, I've included more actual dialogue than usual, but added as much of my own twist as I could. The opening bullpen scene is one of my favourites, so it was included in detail. Also, the final scene (though very short and not included in this story because it has nothing to do with Kensi and/or Deeks), always makes me laugh. If you haven't seen the episode, you should. The sight of Hetty and Nell in Hetty's Jag with Nell's crazy large suitcase sticking out of the backseat should not fail to make you laugh, too.**_

00

Episode 2.11 - Disorder

Kensi wakes early Saturday morning. Her husband is fast asleep next to her, sprawled on his stomach. She rolls to face him, smiling softly at the way his messy blond hair lays across the back of his head, only allowing a peek at the corner of his face as it's pressed into his pillow.

She runs her fingers through his hair and then down his back along his spine.

He sighs in his sleep, but doesn't wake.

She ducks her head to press a kiss to his shoulder, and then rolls away and slips out of the bed. Often on a morning like this, she'll don her running clothes and hit the boardwalk for a long jog. But this morning she is feeling lazy and comfortable here. She wants nothing more than to spend the day in lounge clothes in her new home.

She pulls on yoga pants and a tank top, and finishes her outfit by swiping one of Marty's sweatshirts from his closet. Dressed for the day, she pads down the hall and then down the stairs.

The new house has come together better than she could have imagined. For years, she and Marty had talked hypothetically about their future house. And then in the past year, their talks have become more concrete. Their dreams were large and excited. She hadn't actually thought any house would live up to their expectations.

But, as she pads her way through the newly refurbished downstairs of the house she and Marty have now shared for three weeks, she feels herself smiling.

Because it feels like _home_.

The new floors, freshly painted walls and shiny new appliances have modernized the house. But the way their furniture sits so well in the rooms and the way their photos hang proudly on the walls is what makes the house feel like home.

She pauses on her way through the house to press her fingers to the side of the newest frame. It holds two photos; the selfie they had taken when they picked up the key to the house and the photo her mother had taken of her, Marty and Monty on the front porch.

She smiles at the pictures and then continues her way towards the kitchen.

Monty greets her with an excited tail wag before returning to his new favourite place. The kitchen is large and bright, with a dinette area for a small table. The back wall includes several window and a sliding glass door that leads to the backyard deck. After the first week in the house, they had moved Monty's dog bed to the back door because the dog had barely left that space when inside.

Kensi smiles at the sight of Monty laying in his bed now, staring actively out into to the backyard view.

"You really like it here, huh?" She asks.

Monty glances at her and then back through the glass. She ducks down the pat him. "You want to go out?"

He stands and stretches.

She unlocks and pulls open the door. Monty hurries out. He relieves himself and then trots around the yard, tail still wagging as he does a perimeter check of the yard. After a minute he settles down into the back corner.

Kensi turns from the window, knowing from experience that the dog is happy to be out for at least an hour. She turns on the coffee maker and then reaches for the bag of bagels sitting on the counter.

As the coffee begins to brew, she puts a bagel into the toaster.

And then, with time to wait, she wanders back through the house. There are only a few boxes left to be unpacked, stacked in strategic locations around the living room.

She opens the box topping the stack in the corner and smiles at the carefully wrapped knickknacks and frames. While their larger pictures are already out and hanging on the walls, they have a number of smaller framed photos that sit on surfaces that need to be unpacked.

She pulls the top frame and unwraps the tissue protecting it.

Then she rolls her eyes. Because _of course_ the first photo she finds is the one of her and Marty dressed as Waldo and Wenda for Halloween in college.

She places the photo down and reaches for the next one, expecting it to be the matching photo taken nine years later.

She unwraps it and smiles. An older version of her and Marty than the first frame smile up at her, dressed in red and white stripes, a matching Monty before them.

Picking up the second frame, she pads across the living room and places the pictures beside each other on a bookshelf. She makes sure they're high and prominent, knowing it will make her husband smile.

She continues unpacking for the next hour, only taking a break to collect her breakfast and coffee from the kitchen, and check on the dog, who barely raises his head when she opens the door and calls his name.

When Deeks eventually makes his way down the stairs, she's well on her way to being finished with the last boxes.

"Wow, the unpacking fairy must have visited last night," he jokes, his voice still soft with sleep.

She rolls her eyes in humour and accepts a kiss from her husband before scoffing. "The unpacking fairy, otherwise known as your wife, got all this done while you were sleeping in."

It's his turn to scoff. "It's only eight thirty! That is not sleeping in."

She laughs and allows him to tug her into his arms. "I've been up since seven," she tells him, hooking her arms around his middle as she settles into the warmth of his body.

"That is because you are a crazy person."

She laughs again and buries her face into his shoulder.

"Seriously, Kens, how many more years is it going to take to teach you how to sleep in on the weekends?"

"I thought eight thirty wasn't sleeping in?"

"It's not. You're a bad influence."

She raises her head and lifts up on her tiptoes to peck a kiss to his lips. "I think I'm the good influence. And I'm clearly winning."

He grumbles something incoherent under his breath and then ducks his head towards her. She feels her shoulders raise in response to the rub of his scruff against her neck. A shiver runs down her spine and she tilts her head away from him, allowing him full access to her neck.

He rubs his cheek against her skin and then plants a kiss to the top of her shoulder.

When he lifts his head, he smiles adoringly at her. "You're going to have me getting up at six on the weekends eventually, aren't you?"

She smiles and shuffles closer so she's leaning into him. "Only if you keep sleeping next to me..."

He pretends to think about it for a moment, before breaking out in an open smile. "Then I am screwed."

Kensi feels herself smiling back. "You like getting up early when we go surfing."

He ducks his head to press a kiss to her cheek. "That's more about getting to see you in a bathing suit than anything else."

She laughs out loud. "For the thirty seconds before I put on my wetsuit?"

He nods. "Worth it."

"You're ridiculous."

He smirks at her and waves his left hand in front of her face. The light catches on his wedding band. "Maybe, but you married me, so you're stuck with me for-ev-er."

She rolls her eyes. "Poor me."

He leans down to kiss her again. His arms are still snug around her waist. When he pulls back from the kiss, he leans his head against hers and sighs. "Despite the early hour, I'm happy to be here with you right now."

Kensi closes her eyes, content to be wrapped in her husband's arms. "Me, too."

"Almost completely moved in."

She nods against him. "Just a few more boxes. And we need to get the tree up." They're normally pretty good about getting the Christmas tree up near the beginning of December, but with the move and the work on the house, they're now just a week from the twenty fifth.

He pulls back far enough to meet her eyes. "We'll do it today. And we'll finish unpacking. Everything will be perfect by Monday."

She feels her heart tug at the knowledge of how in tune he is with her. She's never had to say a word for him to know the anniversary of her father's death is coming up. "Am I really that obvious?"

He considers her question for a moment. "No, not really. And probably no one but me would notice. But you get...more determined to make things perfect."

"Sorry."

He shakes his head. "Don't be sorry. I don't want you to be anyone but you." He pauses for a moment to cup her face. "I know how hard this is for you."

Kensi had decided years ago that she wouldn't let her father's death, so close to Christmas, ruin the holidays for her. But even after all these years, she still felt the tug of loss when the date got closer. "It's been thirteen years," she voices. "I've lived almost half my life without him."

He nods, his eyes filled with sympathy and comfort. "I know." He presses his lips to her forehead and lingers for a long moment. "Let's finish unpacking, together. And then we'll put up our tree. After work on Monday, we can come home and have a quiet night and you can tell me stories about your dad."

She feels herself smile. It's become a bit of a tradition that on the anniversary of her father's death they curl up together on the couch and she tells him as many good stories as she can remember. It doesn't take away the pain of her loss, but it makes the day easier.

"Thank you," she tells him quietly.

He gathers her into a gently hug. "I'm always here for you, Kens," he speaks into her hair.

She closes her eyes as she feels her body respond to being so close to his. "I know."

00

Thankfully, work is quiet on Monday, allowing Kensi and Deeks to head home at a decent hour. They spend a quiet evening on the couch, in their perfectly unpacked and decorated house, with Kensi sharing stories with Deeks on the thirteenth anniversary of Donald Blye's death.

Tuesday is also quiet; something which they are both grateful for, noting Kensi slept fitfully Monday night, and Deeks, sleeping next to her, didn't fare much better.

On Wednesday morning, Kensi drives into work a few minutes behind her husband. When she pulls in and parks her car, she's surprised to find Deeks still outside. He's chatting with Callen as Sam is looking for something in the trunk of the Challenger.

She steps out of her car with a wave to her team.

They all send greetings back to her, including Deeks, whose _'morning, partner'_ is flawless, despite having seen her only fifteen minutes ago.

She approaches, sending a questioning look towards Sam, who has turned his attention back to his trunk.

"Big guy's getting forgetful in his old age," Callen explains with a smirk. "Can't remember where he left his daughter's Christmas list."

"I can hear you," Sam snipes back at his partner.

"You were supposed to," Callen responds easily, completely unfazed by his partner's irritation.

"Christmas is only two days away," Kensi chides the senior agent. "Why did you wait so long?"

"He's been looking for the list for a while," Callen says before Sam can respond.

Sam stands upright and turns to his partner. "Keep testing me."

Kensi laughs at their bickering. "Well, you boys are certainly in the Christmas spirit. Hey, no Christmas palm tree this year?" She turns to Deeks. "They brought in this huge potted palm tree last year and decorated it for the holidays."

"Sounds festive," Deeks offers.

Both Callen and Sam nod, somewhat solemnly.

"Hetty asked us not to do it this year," Sam explains.

"Actually, her request wasn't exactly a request, but that was pretty must the gist," Callen adds.

Kensi makes a face. "Too bad."

They wait for Sam to give up on finding the Christmas list in the trunk, and then head into the office together.

Kensi feels herself slow as they approach their desks. There is a brightly wrapped parcel sitting on her desk. A glance at the other desks reveals the same.

"Awesome," Deeks announces, approaching his desk and hefting his wrapped gift without the hesitation of the other three.

"Hold on their, little drummer boy," Callen says, pointing a finger at Deeks as he stands a good arm's length away from his own desk. "Let's talk about this for a second."

"Aye, aye, Ebenezer," Deeks responds without missing a beat, causing Kensi to smile. Thankfully, Callen and Sam are still too distracted with their respective gifts to notice.

"Hetty has never given us anything for Christmas before," Kensi states what Callen and Sam are thinking, letting her husband in on their apprehension. "Why this year?"

"Exactly," Callen responds, now pointing at her, not an inch closer to his desk than before.

"Maybe it's because she knows I like surprises," Deeks jokes, his expression telling them he's not at all concerned and doesn't understand their concern.

"You guys ever feel like we're stuck babysitting some kid whose parents won't come get him?" Sam snipes, his attention on Callen and Kensi as he ignores Deeks.

Kensi feels herself frown, and opens her mouth to defend her partner, but he beats her to it.

"Sam is like the grinch who stole Christmas...only bigger."

Sam fake laughs and then glares at Deeks, who only smiles back. Kensi stifles her own smile, knowing her husband won this round. Despite it having been more than four months since Deeks has been in the office full time, he and Sam aren't exactly making progress. Most of the time, Deeks plays the easy going detective without issue. And his ability to think on his feet has resulted in him winning just about every verbal sparring episode between himself and Sam.

Any further words are cut off by Hetty's sudden appearance. "Ah, you all have your gifts."

Kensi nods as she slowly sits down at her desk, still not reaching to touch the rather large gift sitting on her desk.

"Dare we ask what we did to deserve this?" Callen asks. Following Kensi's lead, he sits as well.

"Rest assured, Mr. Callen, I never give gifts unless they perfectly suit the recipients."

Kensi stares at her gift, her apprehension turning into curiosity as she wonders what Hetty is giving her.

"And perfection struck four times?" Callen asks, holding up his smaller present, but still looking just as apprehensive as before.

Hetty doesn't respond directly. She smiles and then turns to walk away, waving her hand and announcing, "Happy Holidays, everyone," as she leaves.

Silence falls for a moment as the four start to carefully unwrap their gifts.

"What's everyone doing for Christmas?" Deeks asks.

"Well, I'm going to buy G as much beer as he can drink," Sam announces, his demeanour suddenly much more upbeat.

Kensi feels her brow furrow as the long time partners smile and point at each other. "Explain, please."

"I scored two tickets to the Lakers-Heat," Callen says. "Courtside."

"Nice," Kensi says, knowing it's expected. She shares a quick look with her husband, knowing they can get basketball tickets anytime.

"Wow, enjoy Kobe and LeBron," Deeks says, playing the part of being jealous.

"A little jealousy over there, Deeks?" Callen calls.

"About you guys and your man-date? A little bit." He pauses. "But it's okay. I got my own plans. I'll be seeing someone special."

Kensi feels the corner of her lips twitch. "Someone special, huh?"

He nods.

"How special?"

He narrows his eyes and then shrugs. "Moderately special."

She glares at him.

He laughs out loud, proud of his own joke.

True to normal, Callen and Sam ignore him.

"How about you?" Sam cuts in, motioning to Kensi. "What are your plans?"

Kensi schools her expression. "Spending time with family," she says, which is the truth, even if Callen and Sam think she's lying every year.

"The family in Seattle?" Sam asks.

Kensi nods. It's been her cover story every year. The family may be the truth, but the location a lie. "Yup." She turns her attention to the gift on her desk before Sam can ask her anything further. She uses her knife to cut through the paper at the top and easily peel it down to reveal-

"A spice rack?" She says out loud. "Hetty's perfect gift for me involves cooking?"

Across the bullpen, her husband is clearly struggling to hold in his laughter.

She lifts the spice rack away from the paper, and them swipes the paper to the floor so she can set the spice rack back down on the desk. It's a pretty looking spice rack. It has two tiers of fancy glass bottles of spices. It's shiny and it spins.

But it involves cooking.

She takes a closer look at the engraved labels on the bottles, frowning when she realizes she doesn't recognize most of the spice names.

"That's a nice spice rack," Sam says.

"If you don't want it, I'll take it," Deeks announces before she can respond to Sam.

She glares at her husband, knowing this is his way to make her keep it. Even if she gives it away, it's going to end up in their kitchen.

She cocks her head and Deeks jumps up with a smirk, taking the spice rack from her. At least this way, she can claim it's not hers and she doesn't have to cook with it.

"No, no, no," Sam exclaims, his attention still on the spice rack. "That's a nice spice rack. I bought that for her myself. I bought it for Hetty for Christmas in 2008."

Meanwhile, Callen has opened his gift and holds it up with an uncertain expression on his face. "A scented candle?" He sniffs carefully at it and then makes a face. "Smells like sage."

Kensi deflates as she recognizes the candle. "Jasmine," she corrects with a sigh. "I gave that to Hetty two years ago." She remembers finding the unique candle early in December and thinking it would be perfect for her boss. She had left it out at home for two weeks, lifting it and inhaling each time she walked by, loving the smell.

"Same scent?" Callen asks.

"Same candle," she clarifies.

"I'll take it," Deeks announces again, hurrying to lift the candle from Callen's hands. He clearly remembers how much Kensi had loved the candle.

"Excuse me, mister, I did not give that to you," she plays along with what she knows is expected of her.

"No, you gave it to Hetty, who gave it to Callen, who realizes he has no use for a Jasmin scented candle. Right, Callen?"

But Callen's attention is on Sam. "I gave her those!" He exclaims. "Christmas 2008."

Kensi looks from Callen to Sam, who is holding a pair of carved bookends.

"I don't believe it," Callen continues. "Hetty's a regifter."

Kensi nods along, but rolls her eyes when her husband takes the unwanted bookends from Sam.

"I can't believe she's a regifter," Callen says again.

Kensi laughs, which is cut short as Deeks reveals his gift with a flourish. The fact that this is the second gift from her that Hetty has passed on is made somewhat better when her husband's face lights up.

"Are you kidding me," he exclaims to himself. "That's what I'm talking about." He wraps the dark blue scarf around his neck. "Awesome scarf in my favourite colour."

When Kensi had brought the scarf home two years prior, her husband had taken an immediate liking to it, and had been disappointed when she had told him it wasn't for him. He had jokingly whined and prodded her for one, too. She had actually gone back to the store for another one for his stocking, but there hadn't been any left.

"I gave that to Hetty two years ago," she whines, knowing it's expected.

"Evidently, she thought it would look better on me," he responds easily, smirking.

"Not the point."

His smirk grows into a smile, his eyes sparkling as they share an inside joke. "I love it. You didn't have to."

"I didn't," she retorts.

"And yet, you bought it, and now I'm wearing it."

Any further conversation is cut off by an obnoxious quaking noise from above. They look up to find Eric standing at the top of the stairs, holding a hunting whistle. "It's from Hetty," he says, holding up the whistle. "Said she thought it was the perfect present."

"That was me," Callen announces as they all begin to head up the stairs. "Three Christmases ago. When Hetty was going through her goose hunting stage."

Deeks shoots a glance at Kensi as they head up the stairs behind Callen and Sam. "Goose hunting phase?"

Kensi shrugs. "She goes through a lot of stages. You get used to it."

00

With Deeks wearing his new scarf, Eric and Nell walk the team through their newest case.

Lieutenant Lance Talbot, a recently discharged Navy Intelligence Office, witnessed a shooting. A group of Christmas Carolers had heard gunshots inside Talbots house, and had caught the sound of the gunshots on video. Then Talbot had opened his front door, covered in blood.

Two men were dead; a Navy medical corpsman and a known drug dealer.

"Any connection to either of the men?" Callen asks.

"Yes, the Navy corpsman was responsible for administering Talbot's medication each day," Eric explains. "According to his file, he suffers from severe PTSD from his deployment in Afghanistan."

"What was a desk jockey like Talbot doing on the front lines?"

"He was tasked with debriefing Afghani tribal leaders willing to work with us to defeat the Taliban," Nell explains. "He knows their names."

Sam nods. "So, if Talbot opens his mouth, it could be disastrous to our allies in Afghanistan."

"Exactly," Eric says. "His unit was attacked. Three marines died protecting him."

Kensi exhales slowly, not wanting to draw attention to herself, as she recalls what her friends went through. She feels Deeks's eyes on her and turns her attention to him for a moment. She offers him a short nod, telling him she's okay.

"Are we sure Talbot was just a witness?" Callen asks, oblivious to Kensi and Deeks.

"Most of the blood on him was from his nurse, Scott," Nell explains. "He told LAPD he was trying to revive him. He was also shot in the hand, but it's likely a defensive wound."

Callen nods. "Put his hand up to defend himself."

"We need to know exactly what happened in that house," Kensi speaks up.

"How long until we get a forensic report?" Sam asks.

"LAPD says it will take at least three days," Eric says.

"Try three weeks," Deeks adds. "This time of year, half the department is cashing in on accumulated vacation time."

"We can't wait that long," Callen says, turning to Kensi.

Kensi smiles and nods. Working with this team, it's not often that she gets to pull out her forensic training. "Does anyone have a ball of string and duct tape?"

00

The team picks up the necessary supplies and heads for Talbot's house. He's still in police custody, so they know he won't be home.

Kensi pulls up the SRX behind Sam's Challenger. She turns the car off with a sigh.

"You good over there?" Deeks asks.

She nods. "Yeah." She offers him a small smile.

He reaches his hand across the car to squeeze her thigh, offering support. "What happened with Tiff and Jack-"

She shakes her head, cutting him off. "I know." And she does know. Yes, what had happened between their friends had affected her more than she would have thought, but her husband had been there for her. He had reminded her of the things she couldn't always remember herself.

He meets her eyes for a long moment before nodding. "Good."

"You good, too?" She asks.

He offers her a soft smile and nods. "I'm good, too."

"Good," she echoes his words, knowing he had been as affected as she had been.

She returns his smile and then moves to get out of the car, knowing Callen and Sam are doing so in front of them. Deeks follows suit.

Along with Callen and Sam, they make their way into Talbot's house, ducking under the police tape blocking the door. Once inside, the boys stay back while Kensi stands in the living room taking in the scene around her.

She inhales slowly, ignoring the sight and stench of blood, and the knowledge that two men died in this room only the previous night. She allows her analytical mind to take over, making sense not of the scene, but of the events that led to the scene.

"Okay, I need you there, you there, and you there," she says, pointing at each of the men and then a position in the room. They follow her instructions without argument. "Let's work through the ballistics," she says, holding up the string and duct tape.

Fifteen minutes later, Sam is sitting in the middle of the room, holding a string end. Callen is close to the door with his own string ends.

And Deeks is standing by the back wall, holding a number of strings that lead to both Callen and Sam. He also has another piece duct taped to his forehead.

Kensi may have taken more pleasure than actually necessary in pressing the duct tape tight to her husband's forehead.

"I'm just wondering why _I'm_ the guy with duct tape on my forehead," Deeks wines. And not for the first time.

"We're working on bullet trajectory," Sam snipes back at him. The senior field agent hasn't been happy since finding out about Hetty's re-gifting.

"I'm aware of that," Deeks says, waving his hand for emphasis. "I just want to know why I'm the one who has to-"

Kensi shoots him a look and he shuts up, though he sends her an amused look. She rolls her eyes in response, knowing he's been purposefully trying to push her buttons.

"Okay," she takes a step back, going over the events in her head before stating them out loud. She explains how Talbot had been sitting at the table, how his nurse had come in to administer his meds, and how the drug dealer had appeared from the back of the house. The drug dealer had shot the nurse in the abdomen and then shot towards Talbot. "Which gave the nurse the opening to aim his gun for the kill shot," she finishes, tapping her husband on the forehead over the duct tape. She ignores the playful glare he sends her way.

"Sounds right," Callen says with a nod.

Kensi nods along, and then frowns. "But there's an anomaly that's bugging me." She pulls up crime scene photos on the iPad they had brought with them. The bodies of the nurse and the drug dealer are much closer to each other.

"The nurse must have walked all the way to here," she pauses for effect closer to Deeks (playing the drug dealer) and Callen (playing the nurse), "With three gunshot wounds to the torso in order to shoot the drug dealer."

"Not normal," Callen says.

"But not impossible," Sam finishes.

Kensi shrugs. "I guess."

"You got everything you need here?" Callen asks.

Kensi glances around the room and then nods. "I think so."

"Good. Let's go pick up Talbot." Callen begins to the pull the tied strings from his fingers.

Kensi turns to her husband with a smirk.

"What?" He asks suspiciously, recognizing the glint in her eyes.

She reaches up.

He winces as he comprehends her actions. "No, just don't-"

She pinches the edge of the duct tape and then pulls it off his forehead quickly.

"Ah, it burns!" He exclaims, lifting his hand to rub at the red spot on his forehead.

Kensi bites back a laugh, knowing he's over exaggerating the experience for her.

The team packs up quickly and separates at the cars. Callen and Sam jump into the Challenger and head out quickly to pick up Talbot.

Kensi and Deeks slow as they reach the SRX, taking their time to put away the supplies.

"I'm injured," Deeks whines, rubbing at his forehead.

She scoffs. "No, you're not."

"You know I have sensitive skin," he prods, barely biting back his own smile.

She rolls her eyes, but glances down the road to make sure Callen and Sam are out of sight. Then she reaches to hook her fingers in the collar of his dark button down.

He ducks down willingly, clearly expecting a kiss, but stumbles slightly when she tugs him down further than expected. His hands catch her hips as he catches his balance. She cradles his head in her hands and then presses her lips to his forehead, kissing the red spot left from the duct tape.

He stills in her hands, breathing softly, his own hands still resting on her hips.

She directs his head up a few inches and then kisses his lips.

Again, he comes willingly, deepening the kiss almost immediately.

"Feel better now?" She asks when they pull away from the kiss.

"Perfect," he murmurs, pulling her into a hug. "You healed me."

00

Kensi and Deeks meet Callen and Sam at the boatshed, and then wait for over an hour as Talbot is assessed by a psychologist. Kensi spends her time sitting at the table, bent over the tablet as she flips through photos of the crime scene. Deeks is restless across from her, but with nothing else to focus on, she knows Callen and Sam would pick up on anything she says to him.

The team seems to share a breath of relief when the psychologist steps out of the interrogation room.

With little prodding, the older man shares his expert opinion. "Talbot experiences bouts of amnesia and disorientation on a daily basis. His grasp of reality is tenuous at best. He's not a reliable witness."

"What if we take him back to the crime scene to jog his memory?" Kensi asks, torn between concern for the psychologically damaged marine and her forensic needs to make sense of the crime scene.

"I wouldn't recommend that. There's a strong chance that if he's re-exposed, it'll trigger a major panic episode." The psychologist gives that a moment to sink in. "Frankly, forgetting what happened last night may be the best thing for him."

Kensi nods along, taking into account what the psychologist is telling them with her unfortunate knowledge of the subject. Talbot's case sounds so similar to Jack's.

Jack had struggled with reality as he had withdrawn himself from his family, his friends and, worst of all, Tiffany. He had struggled each day with simple things, with routine and focus and simple tasks. But, despite his memory problems, he had had moments of clarity that had made everyone think the medication was finally helping.

"Has Talbot been taking risperidone along with benzodiazepines?" Kensi asks, ignoring the surprised looks Callen and Sam send her way.

"As a matter of fact, yes," the psychologist answers.

"I'll talk to him," Kensi says, heading into interrogation before Callen or Sam can question her. From behind the senior agents, Deeks meets her eyes. They share a look of understanding.

She sits across from Talbot and introduces herself. Talbots accepts the introduction with some anxiety, but is handling the entire situation relatively well. After what he's been through, the fact that he can live independently and deal with NCIS now means he has to be strong.

"Can you tell me about Afghanistan?" She asks gently, knowing his ability to talk about the cause of his PTSD will let her know his ability to deal with the current situation.

He takes a breath, but tells her about his job in Afghanistan of debriefing tribal leaders. He tells her about the team of marines assigned to protect him, and the resulting ambush which results in the death of four marines. He shows the appropriate amount of anger, frustration and loss when he tells her about his struggle to remember the marines.

Kensi meets his eyes evenly, giving him a point of focus away from his internal struggle. Now that she knows his level of function, she needs to connect with him.

"I know what you're going through," she tells him.

"I have a hard time believing that."

"I had this really good friend in college," she starts. "We were part of this tight knit group of friends. We were really close. And six years ago, she was engaged to a marine."

She gives Talbot a moment to let that sink in.

"His name was Jack. She met him not long after he enlisted. I actually…" She sighs. "I introduced them." She chooses her words carefully with Callen and Sam listening, knowing it was actually her and Deeks that had introduced Jack and Tiffani. And she knows he feels as guilty for that as she does. "And it was good for a while. It was a year before he deployed. He proposed right before he went to Afghanistan."

Talbot watches her quietly.

"We were all so relieved when he came home. Only… he didn't come home. He had been stationed in Fallujah, tasked with enforcing curfew. There were shoot outs and ambushes every night." She pauses again. "When he came back home, we could tell he wasn't the same," she slips up slightly using 'we' instead of 'I,' but forces herself not to react.

Talbots releases a slow breath. "Post traumatic stress disorder."

Kens nods. "He would say life over there was like falling through the sky. There was a constant rush of adrenaline. Everything felt vivid and real." She pauses to swallow down her own emotions. "And he'd say coming home to Tiffani and to us – his _family_ – was like hitting the ground."

Talbot nods slightly, absorbing her words.

"We were his family," Kensi says. "All of us. We did everything we could to help him. Tiffani worked with his psychiatrist. We all made sure he knew he wasn't alone. We made this ridiculous colour-coded spreadsheet for his medications. And we always listened, and never pushed."

Talbot nods again, knowing to wait, knowing there is more to the story.

"And then a few days after Christmas, Tiffani called. Jack was gone. She woke up Christmas morning and he was gone."

"Where did he go?"

Kensi shrugs. "No one ever heard from him again. We looked, but…" She trails off, shaking her head, knowing Talbot doesn't need her to finish the sentence.

Talbot is meeting her eyes evenly now, trusting that she really does understand. As much as she hates it, she needs to take advantage of that trust to move this case along. She leans forward, keeping eye contact with Talbot. "Let me take you back to the house. Being there might help you remember what happened last night."

00

 _Kensi sat upright on the couch, her legs crossed in front of her as she surveyed the dark haired man sitting on the chair across from her. His eyes were cast down at the coffee table between them and his shoulders were hunched forward. Defeated._

 _She frowned. Tiffani liked to see every minor good moment as proof of ongoing recovery, but Jack's overall demeanour told Kensi he wasn't moving forward very fast._

" _You don't have to come over here all the time," Jack said quietly, without looking up. "I know you guys take turns coming to see me."_

" _Only because we care," she assured._

 _He looked up, his eyes the same blank expression she had become used to. "I told Tiff I knew you guys had a visiting schedule and she denied it."_

 _Kensi smiled softly at him. "Only because she cares," she said. "You know she's only trying to keep you from being self-conscious."_

" _I know."_

 _She bit her lip before taking a chance. "And that's not what you should feel self conscious about."_

 _Jack looked confused for a long moment and then met her eyes again. Kensi bit back a smile, knowing she had successfully gotten him to engage in conversation with her._

" _Uh, what should I be self conscious about?"_

 _She smirked. "Your hair. Seriously, Jack, if it gets any longer, you're going to look like Marty."_

 _He stared at her for a long moment, just long enough to have her start to regret taking this chance, but then he surprised her._

 _He laughed._

 _It wasn't loud and it didn't last long, but he laughed._

 _Kensi swore she felt something in her chest release at the sound. She didn't think she had heard Jack laugh since before his deployment. Maybe Tiff was right, and he was getting better._

 _Jack ran a hand through his hair. "Well, I guess I need to get a haircut." He actually smiled at her. "Can't be going around looking like Marty and his…what does he call it? Pillow styled hair?"_

" _Style by pillow," she corrected, spinning the wedding band around her finger at the thought of her husband and their first meeting._

" _Right." Jack smiled for a moment, and then it slowly faded away._

 _Kensi stayed quiet, letting him settle his thoughts._

" _Thank you," Jack said next, surprising her._

" _For what?"_

" _You don't need to drop by. Contrary to everyone's belief, I can be left alone. But I know Tiff wouldn't leave the house without knowing someone was here with me. I don't want to keep her isolated here."_

" _She loves you," Kensi added._

 _Jack closed his eyes and was silent a long time. "I love her," he said softly, before opening his eyes. "I don't want her to have to go through this."_

 _Kensi nodded, knowing where he was coming from. If it were her in Jack's place, she wouldn't want Marty to suffer for her. But she would also take so much comfort from his presence. And she would know how much he would want to help her, just like she would if it were him._

" _I get that," she told him. "But I also know how much she loves you, too, and how much she wants to help you. You're not a burden to her."_

" _You wouldn't feel this way if it were you?"_

" _I would," she agreed. "But you would be there telling me I'm wrong, right?"_

 _He nodded. Then his eyes closed and she lost him for several long moments. His body tensed and he clenched his fists on and off as he fought off the demons inside his head._

 _He looked even more defeated when he finally managed to come up for air. "I feel like you understand," he said, stumbling slightly over his words._

 _Kensi wasn't sure what he was trying to say, so she stayed silent._

 _Jack shook his head, as if he, too, was struggling to make sense of his thoughts. "I love Tiffani. And she's doing everything to help me. More than I want her to sacrifice."_

 _Kensi nodded along._

" _She's been so encouraging. But sometimes I want to talk like this."_

" _What do you mean?" Kensi pressed carefully._

" _Realistic," he whispered. "She's always talking about improvement, but she doesn't accept that I may not get better."_

" _You will get better," Kensi insisted. "You may never be the person you were two years ago, but you'll be better than you are now."_

" _I wish I could believe you."_

" _You've come a long way already," Kensi pointed out. "You're able to sit here with me. You're able to follow a conversation like this. You were able to laugh today, Jack. Compared to even a few months ago, that's huge."_

 _Jack nodded. "It's not easy."_

" _I know. And it's not going to get easier for a while. But you will push forward, and we will all be here for you. We're your family, Jack. We're here for you to lean on."_

 _He nodded again and opened his mouth twice, but no words came out. Kensi knew he was trying, but unable, to express his emotions._

" _My dad was a marine," she said, reminding Jack of knowledge about her he had from a long time ago, and changing the focus of the conversation without changing the subject completely. "I grew up a marine brat, moving from base to base. No one comes home unaffected. But everyone handles it in their own way. And everyone needs support from their family."_

 _Jack nodded to himself for a long moment, before meeting her eyes. "Thank you."_

" _You are more than welcome. And I'm saying that on everyone's behalf."_

" _I want to keep getting better," he said._

" _You will," she said, her voice full of confidence for him, not knowing that only a month later he would be gone and then everything would go to hell._

00

Talbot has a near breakdown when Kensi and Deeks take him back to his house. Kensi sees so much of her friend in his behaviour, and one glance at her husband tells her he sees the same. She reaches out to Talbot, taking his hand and whispering soft words to bring his mind back to the present. He responds perfectly and calms.

He tells them he remembers what happened. He tells them the nurse showed up, and then the drug dealer. There was shouting and fighting. He saw a gun and reacted. He remembers shooting both of them.

"It's a hell of a thing, huh?" Deeks says with a sigh as they sit in the SRX together.

"He shouldn't have to deal with this on top of everything else," Kensi responds. "I can't even imagine something like this happening to Jack…"

Deeks reaches across the car for her hand. He threads their fingers together and squeezes. "Me neither."

They sit together in silence for a few moments. Deeks squeezes her hand again. "He's not Jack."

"I know. I just…"

He nods. "I know."

"Maybe something like this happened, and that's why he left," she postulates.

"Maybe. But we may never know, Kens." He sighs again. "I miss him, too. He was a good friend."

Kensi nods. "I know." She runs her free hand through her hair. "We need to help Talbot. We can't fail him like Jack."

"I don't think we failed Jack," Deeks says softly. "Some things just aren't meant to be."

"And some things are," she says, squeezing his hand.

"Stealing my lines," he almost-teases.

"Yeah, well, you stole mine first." With that, she drops his hand long enough to turn the ignition, and then takes his hand back. With Talbot safe and being watched at the boatshed, she and Deeks need to touch base with the team to discuss Talbot's future.

00

Eric and Nell found some connections between the nurse and the drug dealer. Apparently the nurse was withholding proper treatment from dozens of marine patients, only to sell the drugs on the streets through the drug dealer.

The case seems resolved with Talbot acting in self defense against two criminals.

And then someone tries to shoot Kensi while she's out with Talbot that afternoon.

She's walking with Talbot near the beach, trying to provide some comfort and encouragement. Deeks is waiting in the car. She sees the same face in the crowd twice, and then confirms they're being following when she sees him a third time.

She doesn't even have time to call it in. The man draws a weapon, but she's ready. She fires first.

The man goes down and doesn't get up.

She's trying to keep Talbot calm while scanning the crowd for any other potential threats when Deeks comes running, gun drawn.

"You good?" He calls, circling around her to cover the other direction.

"Yeah, we're good. I think this guy had a partner, but he's long gone now."

Deeks's attention is still on the crowd as he circles, scanning for threats.

"I'm going to call it in," she says, pulling her phone to take a picture of the dead man to send to OPS. "How did you know we needed you?"

Deeks shoots her a goofy grin, confident now that the situation is in hand. "Well, when a crowd of people ran by the car yelling about gunshots, I assumed you were stirring up trouble."

00

By early evening, Kensi and Deeks check into a motel with Talbot, assigned to keep him safe until the threat against him can be neutralized.

Once he's satisfied with his safety in the motel, Talbot takes the small bag of belongings they had picked up for him, and heads into the bathroom for a shower.

Kensi feels her posture deflate the moment he's out of her sight. She turns to her husband, who doesn't look much happier than she feels.

"You look like I feel," she tells him.

He smirks at her. "Sexy and incredibly handsome?"

She laughs and steps towards him. He opens his arms to her and they settle together in a comfortable hug. "I really don't want to spend our Christmas here." She wants to spend the holidays together in their new house, without fear of him being called away. She wants to enjoy their time together. And she wants to be there when he finally realizes the change she has made to their décor.

He runs a hand up along her spine. "At least we're together."

She nods against him. There has been many a holiday season where there was worry he would not be finished with an assignment, or would be sent on an assignment before Christmas arrived. This year, at least, there was no worry of any of that. He was home for good, and they had this amazing opportunity to work together.

"I'm so happy you're home," she whispers.

His hand stills and he holds her a little closer for a moment. "Me, too, Kens. Me, too."

Her eyes close as she settles against him with a sigh. "Life is so different now."

"Good, different?"

She 'hmms' against him before pulling back to meet his eyes. "Life with you has always been good. This is a good change. But it doesn't mean I didn't love our life before."

"It was just time to make a change," he adds.

She nods. "Exactly."

He ducks his head to capture her lips with his own.

She kisses him back, pressing against him, wishing they were home and alone.

The sound of the shower running stops, serving as a reminder of just how not alone they are.

Deeks groans as he pulls back. "Later," he promises, pecking her on the lips before releasing her.

"Later," she echoes as she turns to the living room area. She turns on the television and starts flipping channels, looking for something to watch, wanting to make it look to Talbot like she and Deeks were settling in and not making out.

Fifteen minutes later, Kensi finds herself tucked on the couch between Deeks and Talbot. It hasn't escaped either her or her husband's notice that Talbot has connected with her. Kensi doesn't want to push Talbot away, knowing that he needs support right now. The fact that Deeks seems to be finding it amusing more than anything is helping.

"Good timing," Deeks says as he settles onto the couch next to her. "The game just started."

She turns to glare at her husband. It's a well practiced argument they have each year.

"I was thinking more along the lines of _Miracle on 34_ _th_ _Street_ ," she counters, knowing it's expected.

Deeks begins to banter with her. "Really?"

She shrugs. "It's tradition in my house."

He narrows his eyes. " _Really?_ "

Before Kensi can respond, Talbot speaks up. "I'd like to watch _Miracle on 34_ _th_ _Street_." He shoots Kensi a shy smile.

Kensi turns her head to share a look with her husband. He is successfully stifling a smile. If she didn't know him so well, she probably wouldn't be able to tell. She raises an eyebrow. He subtly nods.

Kensi offers Deeks a soft smile as a look of understanding pass between them. She knows the affect Jack's disappearance had on him, just like her. And she knows they're both seeing Jack in Talbot. They both want to help this man like they couldn't help Jack.

" _Miracle on 34_ _th_ _Street_ it is," Deeks announces. "Why don't I go pick up dinner?"

"Excellent idea," Kensi says.

Deeks stands and shuffles towards the door. "Turkey sandwiches okay with everyone?"

Kensi meets his eyes and smirks, knowing Talbot can't see face from this angle. "The tradition in my house is ice cream and beer."

He glares at her, but clearly holds back from anything further with Talbot able to see his face.

She sticks her tongue out at him. "Don't knock it until you've tried it."

"Oh, I've tried it, but not since college," he says.

"Good memories?"

"Great memories," he answers, keeping his tone even in Talbot's presence. "But maybe we have something a little more… healthy?"

"Sandwiches sound great," she tells him.

"Great," he echoes. "You good until I get back?" He asks both Kensi and Talbot.

Kensi nods, though it doesn't escape her notice that Talbot is staring shyly at her as he nods. She meets Deeks's eyes again and mouths _hurry back_.

"See you soon," he says, stepping out the door.

Now alone with Talbot, Kensi turns to the television. They watch in silence for a couple minutes.

"I'm really glad to be here," Talbot says quietly. "With you. And-and Detective Deeks."

Kensi nods and offers him a smile. "I'm glad."

"You both…seem to understand. It's not often that people seem to understand."

Kensi keeps smiling, finding herself a little unnerved that Talbot is so intuitive. She knows it's a unique case, but she and Deeks need to avoid being so easy to read.

"How long have you been partners?" Talbot asks, apparently not noticing her hesitation.

"Not too long," she answers neutrally.

"He seems like a good partner," Talbot says, matching her neutral tone.

"He is." She feels a prickling along the back of her neck, but brushes it off. She just needs to stop seeing so much of Jack in Talbot.

Eventually the conversation falls away again and the focus moves back to the movie. It's quiet and comfortable, and Kensi almost startles when her phone rings.

She pulls the phone from her pocket. The caller ID tells her it's Callen.

"This better be important. Kris Kringle is about to go on trial."

" _There's more to Talbot than we think."_ Callen's voice announces. _"Watch your back."_

Kensi pastes a smile to her face. "Yeah," she says into the phone, knowing Talbot will be expecting some kind of response. "Oh, my God, really?" She adds as she stands from the couch, needing to get some distance from Talbot.

She walks towards the bedroom area, looking for any and all vulnerabilities in her situation. "Oh, yeah. Right." She continues to speak into the phone, even though Callen has long since hung up. She knows he and Sam are on their way to her without being told. "Yes, right. Merry Christmas," she continues, only to hear the sounds of footsteps hurrying towards her.

She drops the phone and spins around. She's not quite in time to have the upper hand, but is able to block Talbot's first attempt to hit her with a frying pan.

His strength surprises her as she hits the mattress and he manages to flip her over before she's even stopped moving. She feels him pull her gun from the back of her jeans and knows she has to move.

She springs up and steps into Talbot's space. She manages to spin around him and get an arm around his neck. Behind him, she is safe from the gun.

But not the frying pan.

Talbot swings and she takes the impact to her forehead. She's stunned and her grip weakens.

Talbot steps back hard, catching her between his back and the wall.

Kensi grunts as pain flares through her body and her head.

He does it again and she feels herself falling. She lands in a heap on the floor. She's seeing stars, which is about all she can see as her vision blurs. Talbot's outline is fuzzy as he steps towards her, his arm raised.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knows what's happening. She knows he has her gun. And, clearly, he won't hesitate to use it.

"No," she mumbles, trying to push herself off the ground.

"This wouldn't have to happen if you could've just stopped digging."

Kensi grunts as pain sears in her body just at the effort of trying to sit up. She manages to half turn, but getting her feet under her seems entirely impossible.

"I just wanted to help," she says. Her mind feels fuzzy and she's struggling to remember if it's Talbot or Jack holding the gun.

"Couldn't let go of the past and your pathetic friend Jack," he says.

She tries to push herself up again, but cannot move. She's disheartened to realize she can't even lift her head from the floor.

"You were easy to read," he continues. "Pathetic. Now it's time to-"

The glass of the patio doors leading from the bedroom to the outside shatter.

Kensi flinches at the sound, at first thinking it's the gun going off. But her level of pain doesn't change and she thinks it probably would if she had been shot.

A second loud noise erupts into the room and Talbot swears. Then a series of noises assault Kensi's senses. She moans and curls her arms around her head on the floor.

Talbot is moving, and she thinks he's shooting her gun. She's in so much pain that she doesn't even know if she's been shot yet.

The noises stop, but she keeps clutching at her head. A voice can be heard, yelling indecipherable words as it gets closer.

She realizes she knows that voice.

"Marty," she mumbles, not even sure that the name actually leaves her lips.

A hand brushes over her shoulder and rolls her onto her back. She squints up at the blurry face of her husband.

He's breathing hard and still talking. Staring up at him, Kensi realizes he's been yelling her name.

She reaches for him, her hand aiming for his face, but finding purchase against the soft canvas of his jacket. She's not even sure if she's found his arm or his side.

"I'm here," he says. "You're safe."

She blinks up at him. He's blurry and only half his words are making sense to her. Safe. She knows she's safe. She's always safe with him. He should know he doesn't need to tell her.

"Kens!" He says sharply, pulling her attention to him. She stares up at him, recalling what had just happened.

"Marty," she manages to whisper. "Talbot…bad guy."

"I know," he tells her. "I almost shot him, but I didn't know where you were. I didn't want to shoot you."

She closes her eyes as she tries to make sense of his words. There were so many. One stands out. "Did I get shot?"

"No," he soothes. "Just a good hit to the head, I think." He pauses to give her a moment to process that. "Ambulance is on the way."

"Don't need…ambulance," she mumbles.

He makes a sound that may be a laugh. She opens her eyes to stare up at him again. "That's my girl," he whispers.

"Your girl," she echoes, her eyes closing.

She can hear him calling her name, but she's just so tired…

000

 _Kensi dreams of Tiffani showing up at her door crying and distraught. She tells them Jack was gone when she woke Christmas morning. She tells them she thinks he's gone forever._

 _Kensi feels the loss so keenly in her gut. Not the first major breakup with her friends, but a situation that hits just as hard as before._

 _She worries about her friends. She worries about Jack, out there alone somewhere._

 _She worries about her own relationship. She tells Marty some things aren't meant to be. He tells her some things are._

 _He promises her they are different._

 _But then he's gone, too._

 _She wakes up and he's not there and she just knows he's not coming back._

 _She looks for him. She thinks she's found him, but it turns out to be Jack. He's quiet and withdrawn and won't tell her where Marty is. Then he becomes aggressive and loud, but he's not Jack anymore. He's Talbot._

 _He's going to shoot her, when someone comes to her rescue. She thinks it may be Marty. The person comes closer, revealing shaggy blond hair._

 _She tries to reach out to him, but she's falling away._

000

When Kensi finds consciousness again, she half sitting. The floor beneath her is softer than before, and she slowly comes to realize she's on a couch. She groans as she begins to open her eyes. The light around her is overwhelming. She blinks a few times and is eventually able to make out three men standing before her.

As her vision clears, she recognizes her team. All three are staring worriedly at her. Callen is standing between Sam and Deeks, and she stares for a long moment. She's never noticed how short he is compared to the other two.

"There you are," Deeks says softly.

She startles slightly as she realizes she's really awake.

"I had a dream…" She mumbles, but trails off as her mind begins to work again and reminds her not to say anything revealing in front of Callen and Sam. "I was being visited by the three wise men," she makes up. "And then I saw Deeks…"

Her husband smirks at her, his expression lightening up at knowledge that she really is okay.

She smiles back for a moment. She's glad he's here. And she's glad Callen and Sam are here. She had wanted them here for some reason-

She sits up as everything comes back to her. "Where is Talbot?" She demands, ignoring the cries of protest her body is sending her at the sudden movement. Her head is throbbing and her chest and back are tense and sore.

"We're looking for him," Sam tells her.

She winces from the pain, but forces her body to co-operate in sitting fully upright. She swings her legs over the edge of the couch.

Callen gets a call from Eric and steps away.

"Are you okay?" Deeks asks softly.

She nods, and then hisses as the movement sends a wave of pain through her head. "I'm good," she manages.

Callen steps back into the conversation. He waves his phone. "Eric has a visual on Talbot. Sam and I will go after him." He directs his words to Deeks and not Kensi. "Stay with Kensi until the paramedics get here."

"All right."

Kensi forces herself to her feet as Callen and Sam head out the door.

"Whoa," Deeks calls, catching her arm as she stumbles slightly under her own weight.

She holds his arm for balance until the world rights itself. "I have to finish this."

"Kens…"

"I have to."

"Okay," he relents.

Kensi lets go of his arm and moves towards the door. The world isn't quite still, but it gets better with each step. She's aware of Deeks on her heels.

"Kensi, you're staying here," Callen calls as she reaches the cars.

"I'm good to go," she announces.

"I don't think you are," Sam says as he gets into the Challenger, "And it has nothing to do with the head injury."

The Challenger takes off out of the parking lot. She turns her eyes to her husband. He nods. "I'm driving."

She tosses him the keys and makes her way to the passenger side of the car. "Don't scratch my car."

"I thought what's yours is mine?" He asks as he settles into the driver's side and turns on the ignition.

She chuckles, but can't think of a thing to say in response.

After only one close call, they arrive at the pier behind Callen and Sam.

Deeks opens the back of the SRX and digs through the weapons storage box. He retrieves a handgun and passes it to her to replace the sig Talbot had taken from her. "Please be careful."

"I will."

They split up and track Talbot through the crowd. They soon realize Talbot is there to meet someone; presumably someone he has planned to sell Navy secrets to.

The team is spotted and both Talbot and the other man run. Kensi and Sam follow Talbot, while Deeks and Callen follow the other man.

Talbot runs through the crowd and out onto the boardwalk.

"Kensi, stay with him," Sam calls. "I'm going to loop around and cut him off."

Kensi continues to follow Talbot and runs after him as he takes off onto an empty section of the pier.

"Freeze!" She yells, gun drawn.

Talbot stops and spins, pulling her stolen gun from his waistband and raising his arm.

All too aware of her own safety and the safety of the crowd behind her, Kensi fires twice, knowing she has to take Talbot down before he gets off a shot of his own.

She hurries forward and kicks the gun away from Talbot's body before ducking down to check his pulse.

Sam appears from the other direction as she stands up.

"He's gone," she announces.

Sam nods. "You okay?"

"Yeah." She glances down at the body of the man who had reminded her so much of her friend, and then looks back to Sam. "I'm fine."

Sam calls in the situation to Callen, who confirms he and Deeks have taken down the other man.

Back up arrives, and Kensi stands back as they begin to process the scene.

Callen and Deeks arrive. Callen takes a moment to make sure she is okay, before heading for his own partner, leaving Deeks with Kensi.

He cocks his head. "You look like crap."

She laughs before she can help it. "Thanks?"

He smiles and then winces as his eyes travel up from hers to her forehead. "Seriously, Kens. Your forehead is kind of an epic reddish purple colour."

"Well, it feels awesome."

His eyes return to hers. "I'm sorry I wasn't there sooner."

She shakes her head. "You were there when I needed you." She offers him a soft smile. "You saved my life. Again."

He steps a little closer and reaches halfway towards her before withdrawing his hand. "I really wish I could hug you right now."

"Me, too." She sighs. "Right now, I just want to go home and curl up on the couch."

"With ice cream and beer?"

She laughs again and nods. "And a certain husband of mine."

"Sounds pretty perfect."

"Yeah, it does." She glances towards the other half of their team. Callen and Sam are speaking with a group of LAPD officers. Kensi knows Deeks should be there liaising, but doesn't want to leave her alone right now. Despite her knowledge on protocol, she can't bring herself to care right now. She wants him close.

"I screwed up today," she says softly.

"We both screwed up," he adds. "We both saw too much of Jack in Talbot, and it prevented us from catching onto him sooner."

"We can't let this happen again."

"No, we can't," he agrees. "And we won't. We'll learn from this."

"We always do."

He smiles at her. "Yes, we do."

00

Kensi smiles to herself as she pads her way through the house on Christmas morning. The sounds of an excited dog and equally excited husband sound from the kitchen. She finds Marty at the stove, making his frittatas. He's waving the spatula around as he speaks to Monty. The dog is moving back and forth between the stove and the back door, not wanting to miss out of anything Deeks says (or possibly drops) and anything going on in the backyard.

Kensi leans against the doorway for a long moment, taking in the sight before her. Her husband is wearing sweatpants and a threadbare LAPD tee shirt. He's got his back to her, but she can tell he's smiling as he carries on a one way dialogue with the dog. She rolls her eyes at the presence of the shiny new spice rack on the counter next to the stove.

"See, Monty? I told you the smell of food would wake up Kensi."

She smiles at having been caught and makes her way into the kitchen. Monty wags his tail and accepts a few pats before he's back to the door to check out the backyard. Kensi makes her way towards Deeks and snakes her arms around his back from behind. She settles against him and presses her lips to his back, between his shoulder blades.

"Morning," she tells him.

He squeezes her hands where they rest along his abdomen. "Morning."

She snuggles against his back in comfortable silence while he finishes cooking their breakfast. When he's finished, he pulls the frying pan off the burner and turns in her arms to wrap his arms around her. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," she echoes.

He stares down at her forehead for a moment and then presses a gently kiss to the side of her still-present bruise. "Looks better this morning."

She nods. "Starting to feel a little better." She had basically rested the rest of the day after her head injury, and then most of Christmas Eve, until she and Marty went to their annual tradition of helping out at the soup kitchen.

"Good." He ducks his head to kiss her lips.

When he pulls away, he's smirking at her.

She narrows her eyes. "What?"

His lips open into a full fledged smile. "I just can't help but notice that today I'm the good influence."

"What?"

He pecks her playfully on the lips. "You slept in."

"I-" She begins to argue, but the clock on the stove tells her it's well after 9 in the morning. "I was tired."

"Sleeping in is good, Kens. We just need to do it more often…"

She huffs and leans closer, very gently resting her forehead to his chest. "Fine. You can win today."

He lifts her head up to kiss her again. "Being married to you means I win every day."

She scrunches her nose and then laughs along with him. "That was very corny, Marty."

He shrugs. "But it got you to laugh, so it was worth it. And also, true."

"It's true for me, too."

After another kiss, they separate and work together to plate the frittata. Kensi carries the plates into the living room. Deeks follows behind with glasses of orange juice.

Monty leaves his favourite spot at the back door to join them.

Kensi sits right next to her husband on the couch, tucking herself close to him as they stare up at the Christmas tree across the room.

"First Christmas in our new home," Kensi speaks up.

"Mmm," he agrees, turning towards her. "I'm really happy right now, Kens."

"Me, too." She leans her head against his shoulder for a long moment.

"Everything is so much different this year."

"Better?"

"Better," he confirms. "I'm so happy to be home for good. And I'm happy about the new house. Even our decorations seem to look better here."

"They do," she agrees.

"I feel like everything is more festive this year. Hell, even the tree seems bigger, don't you think?"

Instead of answering, Kensi turns her face into her husband's shoulder and laughs.

Deeks falls silent for a moment, clearly thrown off. "Uhh… What am I missing?"

She sits upright and then tugs him closer for a kiss. She's still struggling to control her laughter. Several times over the past week she had come into the living room to find her husband staring up at the tree, a quizzical look on his face, as if he couldn't figure out how it had grown. "It didn't grow bigger, but it is a different tree," she tells him.

He stares at her, and then the tree, and then back to her. "You got us a new tree?"

She nods.

"What happened to the old one?"

"It wasn't tall enough."

He still looks confused, so she continues.

"Remember our first Christmas together? You had that tiny little tree with missing branches that you saved from the garbage?"

He nods.

"You told me your dream was to one day have a Christmas tree taller than you, so you could look up at it."

She actually hears his breath catch in his throat as he realizes what she has done, and why. He stares across the room at the tree and then swallows hard when he turns back to her. "You got the tree for me?"

"Yeah. I've waited ten years for us to have a living room big enough for a tree taller than you," she says, playfully tapping him on the top of his head.

He stands and moves towards the tree. He reaches his hand up to brush against the branches above his head. Then he turns back towards her. His eyes are sparkling with happiness as he reaches a hand towards her.

She jumps up and hurries to him.

He wraps his arms around her and actually lifts her off the ground in his exuberance. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she tells him through her laughter.

He stills, still holding her close, and dips his head to kiss her. "Best Christmas ever."

Kensi stares up into his eyes, knowing her expression matches the happiness and love in his. "Best Christmas ever," she echoes.

00

 _ **AN: The first Christmas flashback is in chapter 9 for those wanting to re-read.**_

 _ **Also, for those who read Subterfuge, and care to know, the 'current day' happened approximately last week. Funny that when I wrote the story April 2016 seemed so far away…**_


	38. Overwatch

_**AN: Thank you so much to everyone who has reached out and often told their own stories of loss. I am moving forward, and the support has been nothing but amazing. I am behind (again) on my review replies. I will catch up when I can, but I've been feeling pressed to write, and I feel like we would all rather I write the chapters than the responses.**_ __ __

00

Episode 2.12 – Overwatch

Kensi sighs and stretches her legs out in front of her as she leans back against the cooler. It's a warm day for early January, which she is grateful for. The sand beneath her is warm, making her sleepy. The only thing her husband wanted to do for his thirty second birthday was to spend the day with her at the beach. She's glad for the good weather. They would have spent the day here regardless, but the good weather has made the day pretty much perfect.

She rolls her shoulders and re-settles. She had definitely drifted off while reading her book, but she's not sure how long she was out.

Beside her, Deeks is still stretched out on his stomach. He had been reading, but a glance at him now tells her he, too, has fallen asleep. His face is pillowed on the book he had been reading.

It was a long week at work, and they were both grateful for the weekend to arrive. She feels they are both entitled to their naps.

Beside Deeks, Monty is stretched out on his stomach, too. His nose is tucked right beside Deeks's face.

Kensi smiles at the sight of her two favourite boys, fast asleep and oblivious to the world around them. She reaches for her phone and snaps a few photos of her boys. It's a cute picture. And also, with her husband wearing only a pair of swimming trunks, it's not a bad angle to catch the definition in his back and the curve of his ass.

When she's finished, she reaches her toes to gently poke her husband along the side of his ribs.

He groans in his sleep. When she pokes him again, he swats in the direction of her foot.

Kensi laughs and moves in again. This time he swats faster and captures her foot in his hand. He mumbles something indecipherable. Beside him, Monty lifts his head and looks at her. Kensi laughs again at the dog's expression. He doesn't look impressed at having been woken up.

"Marty," she calls.

He lifts his head and cranes his neck to look back at her.

She offers him a soft smile. "It's almost one. What do you want for lunch?"

He groans again and slowly shifts into a seated position. Then he moves so he's sitting next to her. He bumps her shoulder with his and then turns his head to press a kiss to her cheek.

"Afternoon already," he states more than asks. His voice is thick with sleep.

She nods. "Yup, afternoon already." They'd gotten up early and surfed for a couple hours before settling on the beach. There had been food trucks for breakfast, but that was hours ago now.

"Lunch time," he says. His tone is still light and tentative, as if he's not quite awake.

She laughs and reaches a hand to lay across his forehead. "Been out in the sun too long?"

He chuckles and leans into her. "Just trying to wake up."

She leans her head against his shoulder with a sigh. "It's a nice day."

"Perfect day," he says. "Best birthday ever."

She laughs. "You say that every year."

"I mean it every year."

She turns her face against his shoulder at the familiar response. They have this conversation every year.

"What do you want for lunch?"

"Hmm. Not sure. What do you want?"

She presses a kiss to his shoulder and then sits upright. "Not how this works. It's your birthday. You have to choose."

He makes a show of sighing. "Alright. Then…fish tacos?"

"Sounds perfect. I'll go find some." She motions down the beach at the collection of food trucks.

"I'll come with you."

She turns her head to kiss him. "You sure you don't want to stay here with Monty? Continue your napping?" She motions towards the dog, who has sprawled out on his side in the space Deeks had been occupying.

Deeks laughs at the sight of the dog. "Nope. I'll come with you. Monty can handle things here."

Monty, accustomed to their beach days, can be trusted to stay with their things while they head down the beach for food.

Slowly, the couple rises and collects the few valuable they brought with them. Kensi dons a long top over her bikini and slips into her sandals. Deeks also puts on his sandals, but doesn't bother with a shirt. A decision Kensi has absolutely no problem with. He's muscular, and tanned, and all hers.

She bumps his hip as they walk together. He shoots her a happy smile before reaching for her hand.

"Happy?" She asks.

"With you? Always happy. Couldn't be happier. Well, maybe if you took your shirt off so you were in just the bikini…"

She rolls her eyes in good nature. "I was in just the bikini for a few hours while you chose to snooze on the beach."

He gasps dramatically and thumps his free hand to his chest. "I can't believe I did that."

She laughs again. "Believe it, birthday boy."

He grumbles good naturedly beside her, but he's still smiling every time she looks at him. Something she learned about her husband long ago is that he doesn't expect attention. He can act the class clown. And he knows how to gain the attention of a room to lighten a mood or distract. But he doesn't expect dedicated, quality attention to himself. He doesn't ask for much, if anything. And it took her years to get him to expect something special on his birthday. Hell, the first year they were dating, he had been too afraid to even tell her it was his birthday. That fact still broke her heart when she thought about it.

And now, even something as simple as a beach day for his birthday, because it's something he likes, makes him feel special and wanted. She vows never to let him forget how special and wanted he is to her.

They find a suitable food truck and place their order. Kensi pays and then leaves her husband at the food truck to use the nearby bathroom. When she makes her way back, Deeks is still waiting for their order. But he's not alone.

A pair of blondes in revealing bikinis have cornered him at the side of the food truck.

She slows as she approaches, smiling to herself at how he handles the situation. He's calm and carefree about the encounter. His ability to not appear uncomfortable or affected is what makes him such a good undercover operator. But it doesn't escape her notice that he makes sure to wave his left hand at every opportunity, flashing his wedding band. She watches him reach to adjust his hair, and then point towards the water, and then reach for his hair again.

Not for the first time, she is overwhelmed with gratefulness for how secure she feels in her marriage. Marty is a good man, who not only loves her, but is devoted to her. It's never occurred to her to worry about him with other women.

He catches her eyes as she makes her way closer and sends her a warm smile. It's enough for the blonds to turn in the direction of his attention.

"Hey, you," he greets, reaching for her as she steps between the blonds.

"Still waiting on lunch?"

"Soon." He hooks his arm around her waist and presses a kiss to her cheek. "These nice ladies are visiting and were asking about the area."

Kensi smiles at their blonds. "That's nice. It's a good place to visit. Even better place to live." She pats his chest with her left hand, following his lead in making her ring stand out.

The blonds quickly excuse themselves and head down the beach.

Deeks exhales beside her. "Thanks. They wouldn't leave me alone."

She turns and reaches up on her tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek. "And I'm sure you _hated_ the attention…" She says sarcastically.

He purses his lips for a moment. "Well, I much prefer your attention."

"Keep walking around without a shirt on and you'll have everyone's attention."

He raises an eyebrow. "Really?"

She raises an eyebrow. "You're looking good over there, Detective."

He flexes his biceps. "Not bad for thirty two, huh?"

She laughs, though she can't help but appreciate the view.

"Not bad at all." She steps close, her hands finding his hips.

He beams down at her, his gaze happy and free. His eyes are sparkling as they meet hers. They have tough jobs and see a lot of the bad the world has to offer. But they're able to separate their work and personal lives. They're able to leave their work at work at the end of the day or week. They're able to spend their time like this; happy, together, acting like any other normal couple.

He nods his head up as he shuffles closer. "What's going on in that head of yours?" He reaches one hand to run his fingers along her hair line.

"I'm just happy," she tells him.

He ducks his head to peck her lips. "Me, too."

She leans back, trusting his arms to support her. "I'm glad you're happy." She runs her hands up his arms and squeezes his shoulders. He's happy and comfortable in his life. She still recalls the way his shoulders were always tense under her hands when he came home from work. She recalls how the light in his eyes had dulled as he started his second year as a public defender. She remembers exactly how unhappy he had been.

"Of course I'm happy," he says.

"You weren't for a while," she reminds.

He frowns slightly. "I've always been happy with you."

She runs her hands across his shoulders and up the back of his head to bury her fingers in his hair. "You were happy at home. With me. But you weren't happy with your life. You hated your job. You were… unhappy." It's her turn to frown. "I couldn't fix it."

He clicks his tongue. "You did. You pushed me to find a job I loved. You _supported_ me when my choice wasn't what was expected."

00

 _Kensi got home late from work. She was wiped out from a long day at the end of a long week. But it was a good week. She felt like every aching muscle and every yawn proved how productive her week had been._

 _She let herself into the apartment. It was dark, save for the lamp next to the couch. Her husband was sitting sideways on the couch. He startled slightly at the sound of the door opening, clearly lost in his own thoughts._

" _Hey," she called as she slipped off her shoes._

" _Hey," he called back._

 _She padded towards him as he swung his legs to face her. "Good day?"_

 _She stopped in front of him and bent to kiss him. "Yeah, it was." She ran her hands over his shoulders and frowned at how tense they were. "When did you get home?"_

" _About an hour ago," he told her. "I left you dinner." He motioned towards the kitchen._

" _Thanks," she told him, though she made no move towards the kitchen. She pressed on his shoulders, making him shuffle back on the couch. Once he was all the way back, she moved forward and settled herself on his knees, her own knees on either side of his thighs._

 _His hands found her hips as he smirked at her. But even with the smirk, his eyes didn't light up quite like they used to. "Choosing me over food," he joked. "You must really love me."_

 _She made a show of sighing, before ducking her head to kiss him. Then she sat back on his knees and stared into his eyes. "Did you talk to Charlie today?" Following their previous conversation, he had planned to call his old law school buddy to start looking into finding a position outside the Public Defender's Office._

 _He nodded. "Yeah. He said there will probably be an opening at his dad's firm in the spring. Sounds like a good opportunity. They deal with some workplace and human rights issues."_

 _She nodded along. "You want to try again and sound like you actually think this is a good opportunity?" She cocked her head._

 _He huffed out a laugh. "It's a good opportunity," he repeated. "I'm sure it will be better than what I'm doing now."_

 _She sat back on his knees and stared at him for a long moment. She wasn't sure who he was trying to convince the most; her or himself. "Marty, are you sure about this?"_

 _He stared back at her for a long moment before he sighed. "Honesty? No. But it'll be better than the Public Defender's Office. And it'll be more money for less hours than I'm working now. Less cases to juggle."_

" _I don't want you to be unhappy," she told him._

" _I have a good life, Kens. I have you, a home, no worries about paying for our lifestyle. It's okay with me to not love my job."_

" _But it's not okay with me. I love my job. I'm exhausted a lot, and I work crazy hours, but I love what I do. I want you to love what you do, too."_

" _I want us to have a good life together," he told her. "We worked so hard to get here."_

 _She nodded. "I know we did."_

" _I can't just give it up. We're in such a good place now. We're not worrying about money anymore."_

" _We're not in a good place if you're not happy."_

 _He sighed. "It's not exactly what I expected, but I don't want to give up. When we met, you wanted to be an agent and I wanted to be a lawyer. I can't… I won't give up on that."_

 _She huffed at him and slid a little closer on his thighs. "I don't need you to be a lawyer, Marty. Sometimes it's not giving up, it's moving on."_

 _He ran a hand up and down her spine as he surveyed her for a long moment. "You'd be okay if I wasn't a lawyer?"_

 _She felt his shoulders relax ever so slightly and it made her heart clench to realize just how unhappy he was. "Yes," she told him. "Of course. I don't need you to be anything other than happy."_

 _He exhaled slowly. "I wanted so much to be a lawyer."_

 _She shifted to sit beside him as he sat back against the couch. "I know you did, Marty. And you're a good lawyer. But that doesn't mean you can't try something else."_

 _His chest hitched and she felt more tension leave his shoulders as she leaned against him. "I love you so much," he told her._

 _She reached her arm around his front in a sideways hug. "I love you, too."_

 _His own arm tightened around her middle and he shifted to press a kiss to the top of her head._

" _Now, any ideas of what you might want to do?"_

" _I…I don't know."_

 _She lifted her head at his tone and narrowed her eyes. "Sounds like you may have some idea," she prompted. Because she knew that tone of his. He was hesitant to share, but there was something worth sharing._

 _He sighed. "Why do you have to know me so well?" He joked._

 _She laughed. "Because you're an easy read," she shot back at him._

 _He laughed out loud and squeezed her tight for a moment. "Ouch."_

 _She was still laughing when she turned her head to press a kiss to his shoulder. "Because I know you better than anyone. And I won't judge. So, spill."_

 _He took a breath and slowly released it. "I kind of like the idea of…what you do…"_

 _She raised her head to look him in the eye. He looked pensive and unsure, but met her gaze. "You want to be an agent?"_

" _Not…not exactly. But I've worked with a lot of cops at the Public Defender's Office and I think maybe…LAPD."_

" _You want to be a cop?"_

" _I…maybe. Is that… is that okay?"_

 _She sat up so she could better face him. "Of course that's okay. I will support anything you want to do. I just… I know you don't really like guns."_

" _I've gotten better. You've changed my perspective. I see all the good you do. And I want to help in that way, too."_

" _Oh, Marty…"_

" _It's not something I have to do. It's just something I've thought about."_

" _For how long?" She remembered him mentioning once that he had wanted to be a cop when he was a little kid, but he hadn't ever mentioned it again._

 _He ran a hand through his hair. "Uh, you know, not too long."_

 _She shifted to sit up on her knees and leaned in to kiss him. "I don't believe you," she spoke against his lips._

 _He huffed a laugh. "Fine. I've thought about it for a little while. But not…not seriously. It started as just an idea in the back of my head. It just didn't go away."_

" _Have you looked into it?"_

 _He hedged and she shot him a look, which made him smile. "A little," he admitted._

" _And?"_

 _He sighed. "If I got in, it would be six months at the police academy."_

 _She exhaled. Six months was a long time. But nothing worth doing was easy. "Well, we could make that work. I went to FLETC. And you came with me for the placement in Washington. We can do this, Marty."_

 _He looked a little less pensive at her encouraging words. "At least it's here. And I don't need to live on site."_

 _She breathed a sigh of relief at that. She had enjoyed her training at FLETC, but it had been a long time away from her husband. None of their weekend visits had been long enough. "That helps."_

" _So, you think I should…"_

 _She shifted again so that she was closer, still kneeling next to him on the couch. She reached to cup his face in her hands as she met his eyes. "I think that if this is something you really want to do, then you need to apply. And_ when _you get in, we will do what we need to do for six months of training."_

 _He leaned closer to her, pressing his forehead to hers. "Thank you," he whispered._

" _Just because plans change or being a lawyer isn't what you expected doesn't mean you've failed, Marty. You haven't failed yourself. And you sure as hell haven't failed me."_

 _His arms wrapped around her, but he didn't move his forehead from hers. "The last thing I want is to fail you."_

" _You have never failed me," she assured._

00

The weekend ends too soon, but Kensi comes out of it feeling refreshed. After their beach day Saturday, she and Marty had spent Sunday running errands together and further settling into their new house.

On Monday morning, she drives into work alone. Callen and Sam are already there when she settles into her desk only a few minutes early.

"Morning, Kensi," Sam greets from across the bullpen. His partner echoes his greeting.

Kensi responds easily to both of them.

"Any idea where Deeks is?" Sam asks. "He's about two minutes away from being late."

She fights the urge to roll her eyes at Sam's expression. It looked like the older agent was looking forward to Deeks being late.

"He's not here this morning. He has his monthly meeting at his precinct. And it was early, so he was probably there before you even left your house this morning."

Sam at least looks a little sorry.

Callen cocks his head. "I thought his meetings were on Tuesdays?"

She nods. "Last Tuesday was so early in the new year that LAPD didn't have time, so it was rescheduled for today." Her husband normally meets with Bates the first Tuesday of each month, but last Tuesday had only been a few short days into the new year. Bates had rescheduled the meeting last minute.

"Good to know," Callen says.

"Very good to know," Sam adds, sending Kensi a pointed look.

"What?" She snipes at him. "He's my partner. It's my job to know where he is."

Callen nods. "It's good to see you two settling in as partners. I wasn't sure what Hetty was thinking when she brought him in-"

"I still don't know what Hetty was thinking when she brought him in," Sam jumps in.

Kensi glares across the room at Sam. The senior agent is clearly trying to make a joke, but she's not having it. They may not know who Deeks really is to her, but he's a member of the team, and has been for almost half a year. And he's her partner. Sam should respect that.

Callen clears his throat, drawing Kensi's attention back to him before she snaps at Sam. "As I was saying, I'm glad it's working out."

"It is working out," she says, though her words are directed towards Sam. She's had a good weekend with her husband, and she's spent time recalling how they got to this point in their life together. She's not going to allow anyone to attack him or them. "It could be a lot worse. I could be stuck with a former seal with control issues."

"Whoa," Callen calls out, calling off his partner before he responds. "We don't need to go there."

Kensi sends him an exasperated look. "So, Sam's allowed to attack my partner, but I'm not allowed to stand up to yours?"

Callen meets her gaze for a long moment before nodding once. "No one is attacking anyone's partner. Right, Sam?"

Sam still looks like he wants the chance to respond to her, but he sits back in his chair. "Right."

Callen turns back to Kensi. "We good?"

"We're fine," she says.

The day continues without any new cases popping up. Deeks joins them in the afternoon. He comes in with a tray of coffees for the team.

"Had my coffee fix from this place this morning," he tells them, "But this place is awesome, so I had to go after, too. Thought I'd bring you all a pick-me-up," he explains as he passes out the drinks.

It doesn't escape Kensi's notice that he has memorized everyone's drink order.

"Thanks, partner," she says, echoing Callen and Sam's thanks.

"You are very welcome," he calls back as he sits at his desk. "No case?"

"No case," Callen echoes.

"It's been a fun filled day of paperwork," Kensi adds.

He flips open his laptop screen. "Awesome," he says sarcastically. Then he yawns. "At least this is more exciting than being stuck at my precinct for hours for an unnecessary meeting." He picks up his coffee cup and waves it. "Plus, this is _way_ better coffee."

"This is good coffee," Kensi says.

"It's probably the only thing I miss about not going into my precinct more often."

She nods as she bites back a smile. She knows he makes a point to stop at the coffee shop down the street from his precinct every time he is called in.

"It is good," she tells him.

He takes a sip and then sighs. "I could literally mainline this coffee it's so good."

She rolls her eyes at his ridiculousness, but can't find it in herself to argue. It is really good coffee.

00

The week continues quietly until Callen receives a call from their coroner friend, Rose. Her morgue had been attacked and a body stolen, but not before she had found an unknown substance on the body. The unknown substance has a US Navy signature.

Kensi and Deeks track down the van used by the bad guys who stole the body, only to find it abandoned four blocks from the morgue.

"Not much of a plan," Deeks says as they get out of the SRX. "Steal a body, steal a van, drive four blocks just to abandon the van…"

Kensi chuckles as they begin to approach the abandoned van. It's parked in a small, mostly empty lot. It's also parked diagonally across the centre of the lot. "Quite the parking job, too. Looks like one of your parking jobs, Marty."

He huffs at her. "My parking is awesome. Plus, as I cop, I get to park wherever I want." He shoots her a smirk. "It's one of the reasons I became a cop."

She huffs a laugh back at him. She knows the real reasons he became a cop. "Yeah, and what are some other reasons?"

He shrugs, still joking with her. "You know, I look sexy in uniform. And my desk job was killing my awesome figure. You know what happens when you sit too long? You get chair-ass, where your ass flattens and spread down your thighs-"

Kensi has to actually wipe a tear from her eye as she laughs at her husband. "Okay, stop," she cuts him off. "We need to be serious for a minute."

"Agreed." He stops joking immediately and becomes the serious, attentive cop she knows makes him so good at his job. They circle the van and quietly approach.

There's no one visible through the front windows, so they make their way to the back.

Deeks reaches for the handle and quietly counts to three. She's ready with her gun up when he swings open the door.

The moment the door opens, there is a distinct clicking noise. Kensi knows that noise. "Bomb!" She yells. The two of them turn and run as fast as they can away from the van.

They get most of the way across the parking lot when the van explodes. She stops and turns to stare back at the fiery van. Deeks is breathing hard beside her.

"Did I mention the excitement?" He continues his playful list for why he became a cop. "Nothing like this happened when I was a lawyer."

She sends him a look as she pulls out her phone to call in the situation. "Definitely exciting. You good?"

He nods. "I'm good. You good?"

She sighs and offers him a smile. "I'm good." She raises the phone to her ear as it starts to ring. Deeks hovers close and reaches a hand out to squeeze her forearm, reaffirming that they are both okay. She smiles back at him. This is the life they have chosen, and she loves that they are now doing these things together, but it isn't always easy to brush off these situations. A little reassurance goes a long way.

00

With the truck as a dead end now, Kensi and Deeks head to the house of the stolen dead body. The man had been killed in what was assumed to be a home invasion. They don't find any new clues, but they do find the man's grieving girlfriend.

Kensi introduces them and tells the girlfriend they are re-investigating the death now that his body has been stolen. The girlfriend confirms what their research had told them – Yusef Afzal had been a hard working man who had no extremist beliefs and no history of trouble with the law.

Kensi pushes, asking the girlfriend about his behavior. She asks if it's possible he was hiding something from her.

"You're not hearing me," the girlfriend fires back. "Yusef was not some closet radical or a militant, if that's what you were thinking. He was a good man."

Kensi steps down from her challenge now that the girlfriend is worked up, allowing Deeks to step in at a gentler angle.

"We're just saying that people have an ability to hide a side of themselves," Deeks says softly.

The girlfriend huffs and motions towards Kensi. "Does your partner hide anything from you?"

Kensi bites back a smile at the knowledge that she and Deeks have no secrets from each other, but are keeping big secrets from everyone else.

Deeks shoots her a look and then surprises her when he answers, "As a matter of fact, she does." He nods for effect. "She has a junk food jones. Gets her fix while she's at work. Hides it from me. Thinks I don't know about it."

Kensi feels her jaw drop every so slightly. She had been so careful.

Deeks smirks at her as he continues. "But I find the Twinkie wrappers stuffed between the car seats."

Kensi scrunches her nose, knowing she's been caught. She wonders how long he has known about her secret. "Shut up," she says good naturedly.

He turns back to the girlfriend. "See, we all have secrets."

"But you knew her secret," she points out.

Deeks grins good naturedly. "Literally only because I dropped my phone between the seats."

Kensi huffs at having been caught in such a random way.

"Yusef may have had secrets like that," the girlfriend concedes. "But I _knew_ him. I loved him. We weren't just partners." She motions between Kensi and Deeks. "We were more than that. We were in love. He wasn't hiding something like that."

Kensi meets Deeks eyes. She can't exactly admit to being more than partners with her partner to their victim's girlfriend, but she sees where the girlfriend is coming from. She may have been able to hide her at-work junk food habit from Deeks (for a short time, anyway), but she knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that there's no way she could hide something actually significant. His expression tells her the same.

Deeks turns back to the girlfriend with a nod. "Okay."

00

As it turns out, Yusef's body had been sprayed with an experimental chemical tracking system developed by the Navy. They eventually track the source of the spray to a former member of the development team who had devolved under the weight of his worries about the future of the country. In an attempt to track anyone he felt was suspicious, he had sprayed dozens of innocent people.

A terrorist team had taken advantage of this to track Yusef. As a hospital IT employee, he had access to all areas of the hospital, including the nuclear medicine department. By the time the team catches up with the bad guys' plan, they have already gotten away with enough radiopharmaceuticals to build a dirty bomb.

Eric tracks the bad guys to a Venice market. Decked out with radiation detectors, the team goes after the bad guys to locate and reacquire the stolen radiopharmaceuticals.

Kensi walks strategically around the market, her focus split between the crowd and her fluctuating radiation detector. The bad guys are definitely here, but the team circles together to pinpoint exactly where.

Sam IDs their first bad guy. The bad guy takes off with Sam in pursuit.

"Kensi, Deeks, watch the crowd," Callen calls as he runs after his partner.

"Eric, do we have any other runners?" Kensi calls into her comm, knowing Eric has tapped into some video surveillance.

"We may have someone," Nell answers. "He's heading East on Main."

"I got him," Deeks calls. "On my 3. Guy's in a navy coat. He's running!" Deeks exclaims as he begins his own pursuit.

Kensi sprints across the market to back up her partner. She can see Deeks chasing the second bad guy less than a block down the road. She's focused on the pursuit and not her whereabouts. There is a roaring noise and then squealing of tires. Something hits her, hard. She hears a cracking noise. Then she's airborne.

She hits the ground hard and rolls. When she finally stops moving, she's laying face down on the pavement of the road. Onlookers are yelling.

She gasps in pain and inhales sharply, trying to force air into her lungs after the wind was knocked out of her.

As her vision clears, she rolls onto her side and realizes she's been hit by a car. She pushes herself up and shakes her head. Somehow she manages to get her knees under her, and then her feet. Everything hurts, but nothing is screaming in pain, so she doesn't think she's significantly injured.

The crowd closes in as the driver of the car runs to her. "I'm so sorry! Are you okay? You ran right in front of me, I didn't have time to stop-"

Kensi cuts him off with the shake of her head. She manages to pull her badge from her back pocket. "It's okay. I'm a federal agent. I was…" She trails off as the case jumps back into her mind. Stolen radiopharmaceuticals. Potential for dirty bomb. Chasing down the bad guys. Deeks in pursuit. She turns in the direction Deeks had been, but he's out of sight now. "Stay here," she calls to the driver as she takes off again after her partner.

Her body isn't exactly impressed with being asked to run after such an impact, but she pushes on. She can't quite meet her normal speed, but she's getting the job done. The street ends in a bridge over a canal. She stops on the middle of the bridge and turns, searching all directions.

Movement on the next bridge down catches her attention. She starts running again. Halfway there, something drops off the side of the bridge. She does her best to speed up.

Gunshots fill the air as she reaches the bridge. She draws her gun.

A man in a navy jacket is lying dead on the bridge. She had barely had time to worry her husband had been shot, but she still breathes a sigh of relief.

Motion to her left catches her attention. Her husband is standing shoulder deep in the water below the bridge.

"You okay?" She calls down to him.

"Yeah," he reassures. "Your timing is fantastic."

She checks to make sure the bad guy is really dead, and then disarms her gun and returns it to the back of her jeans. She peers over the edge of the bridge. "You want to explain how you got down there?"

He makes a face. "I was kicking him. He grabbed my leg, lifted me up and threw me over." He makes a show of shaking the water out of his hair like a dog. "Pretty good move actually."

She laughs, but then winces at the movement. She's pretty sure her ribs are going to be sore for a while.

He frowns. "You okay?"

"Just sore. I…got hung up on the way here."

He's still frowning as he wades his way to the side of the bridge. She meets him there.

The edge of the canal is defined with a concrete ledge and a row of bushes. Deeks groans when he reaches the base. The edge is about as tall as him.

Kensi kneels in the bushes and reaches a hand down to him. He passes her his gun, which she takes and secures.

He grips his hands onto the top of the concrete. "I think I can…" He trails off as he shuffles his feet. "There's a bit of a step." He manages to find some purchase, because he suddenly gets taller in front of her.

He grunts and then pushes up and manages to get his body most of the way over the ledge.

Kensi grasps her hands onto the back of his jacket and pulls.

It's awkward but they manage to work together to get Deeks entirely onto dry land. He rolls onto his back, panting. She flops down beside him, also panting.

"Well, that was fun," he says.

She half-laughs, but the pain in her ribcage cuts her off again.

He turns his head towards her and frowns. "How exactly did you get hung up on the way here?"

She winces and then releases a sigh. "I got a little…hit by a car."

He sits up quickly. "A _little_ hit by a car? You either get hit or you don't. There's nothing _little_ about it."

She grunts as she sits up, too. "Fine. I got hit by a car. Hit the windshield, but hit the ground rolling. I'm okay."

He reaches towards her. "Kens…" His fingers run along her forearms gently. He lifts her arms upwards to reveal the red, angry scrapes that lead from her palms halfway down her forearms.

She winces, but manages to shuffle closer to him. She grasps his hands with hers. "I'm okay, Marty. Really."

He moves both of her hands into one of his and lifts his free hand to cup her cheek. "I don't like it when you get hurt."

She squeezes his hand. "I know. I don't like it either." She smiles when he smiles at her words. "But I'm okay. We're both okay."

He nods. "We are."

"I love you."

He exhales slowly as he meets her eyes. "I love you, too. So much, Kens."

She squeezes his hand again and then moves to stand. They're not going to have privacy for much longer. Pretty soon the residents of the area will be under foot, drawn by the sounds of gunshots. She and Deeks need to secure the bridge. Eric has probably already called in the situation to backup-

Kensi gasps as she realizes the conversation she and her husband have just had. Her hand flies to her ear, but her earwig is gone. She turns to her husband, her finger still at her ear.

His mouth opens ever so slightly in surprise as he, too, comprehends what she has already realized. He raises a hand to his ear, and then shakes his head.

"Do you…?"

"Me earwig is gone," she whispers. "Must have lost it when I got hit."

"Mine's gone, too." He motions towards the water.

Kensi exhales. Part of her is relieved, but part of her is a little disappointed. She has her reasons for wanting to wait to tell the team who Marty really is to her, but as time goes by she's found she has to keep reminding herself of why she's doing this. Sam isn't warming up to Marty like she had expected. She knows he was reeling from Dom's disappearance and subsequent death at first, but Marty has been working with them full time for almost half a year now.

He offers her a soft smile, full of support. She smiles back, but she knows the smile doesn't meet her ears. She can see the same disappointment she is feeling reflected in his eyes. She knows hiding his marriage isn't normal to him like it is for her. And she knows he's been getting frustrated as time has gone by, despite how supportive he has been.

 _Soon_ , she tells herself.

"I'm going to call Eric," she tells him, holding up her phone.

He nods.

Eric picks up on the first ring. "Kensi!" He exclaims. "Are you two okay?"

"We're good," she relays. "Suspect is down."

"What the hell happened? I lost you, and then a minute later I lost Deeks."

She can tell by Eric's tone that he was worried. "I lost my earwig. Then Deeks decided to go swimming."

Her husband shoots her a playful glare. She smirks back at him.

"Yes, that's exactly what happened," he says dryly.

She laughs at him, but is still able to focus on Eric. She provides a basic rundown of the situation and their location.

A few minutes later, Callen comes jogging up to them.

"You two good?"

"We're good," Kensi answers. "You and Sam?"

"Caught up to our guy," he nods towards the dead body on the bridge. "Same end result. Got the radiopharmaceuticals back."

"Good." She breathes a sigh of relief that at least the case is over.

He nods. "We did good today." He motions towards herself and towards Deeks. "You both did good today."

"Thanks," Kensi nods back to him.

"Thank you," Deeks echoes.

Callen shifts his eyes towards the dead guy and then back to Kensi as he steps forward. He frowns at her, his eyes on her arms. "What happened to you?"

Kensi lifts her forearms and frowns at the road rash. "Lost a fight with a car."

Callen frowns, but doesn't ask anything further. He turns to Deeks. "Why are you wet?"

Kensi actually laughs out loud, despite the pain in her ribs, at Callen's tone and Deeks's subsequent scowl as he launches into another explanation of his unplanned swim.

Two hours later, Kensi follows the team into the office. Both scenes have been dealt with, and the driver of the car who hit Kensi was debriefed. Deeks had driven them back in the SRX, despite Kensi's qualms about him being wet in the leather seats. His expression after seeing the crack in the windshield of the car that had hit her was enough to make her agree to anything.

"You sure you're okay?" Deeks asks quietly.

She rolls her shoulders and winces at the pain. She's pretty sure everything is going to hurt a lot in the morning. "Sore," she admits. "But nothing serious."

He sends her a look of concern, filled with uncertainty.

She cocks her head. "I may need a massage…"

He smirks at that, some of the uncertainty leaving his gaze. "I can do that."

They reach the bullpen and catch up with Callen and Sam. "There's one thing you can do for me now, Deeks," she calls, knowing Callen and Sam can hear.

He shoots her a questioning look. His eyes are narrowed. In Callen and Sam's presence, he knows to expect a snarky comment from her. "What?"

She smirks. "Take a shower and get changed. You smell like canal water."

He huffs at her while Callen and Sam laugh. And then she starts laughing, and he joins in as well. It's worth the pain in her ribcage to be laughing with her team. Her _whole_ team.

She knows that tomorrow she's going to be in pain. And she knows that sometime soon and and Deeks are going to have to make a decision, and that afterwards everything is going to change. And she knows she can't control Callen's and Sam's reactions to their news. But right now, they're laughing as a team. And that feels pretty damn good.

00

 _ **AN: The reveal IS coming. As I've said before, it will happen in an episode which some readers have suggested/guessed, but probably won't happen in a way that is expected. I haven't exactly hinted at it, but there have been one or two setups/hints at the case that leads to the reveal. Things that you probably would not catch as significant on the first read, but would (hopefully) stand out after the reveal has happened.**_


	39. Lockup & Tin Soldiers

_**AN: For those who are following the timeline, just a heads up that we are skipping a couple mid S2 episodes. Also, some of the storyline has been simplified for the less important case details. I'm finding from feedback that some case structure needs to exist, but spending a lot of time on repeating the case details from the show is too much.**_

 _ **Also, I'm sending a call out for help/advice from anyone else who posts to this site and has run into a problem using a MAC. I've recently made the switch to a MAC, and am using MS WORD for MAC, but can't seem to upload my chapters to this site (I've also tried the cut/paste option with no success). I'm having to e-mail them to myself, save to my PC and upload (with no problems). Any advice/suggestions? Thanks!**_

Episodes 2.14 – Lockup (peripherally) and 2.15 – Tin Soldiers

Deeks bites back a laugh at his very competitive wife cheering loudly in her seat beside him. In the arena below them, their knight is winning his jousting battle.

He slings an arm around Kensi and allows himself to let go and cheer along with her.

When the current round of jousting is over, Kensi sags into him. "We are kicking ass," she announces.

He chuckles and presses his lips to the side of her head. "Yes, we are."

She smiles at him. Her eyes are sparkling and filled with enthusiasm. "I'm glad we came here tonight. We needed something fun."

He nods his agreement. "Me, too. I can't believe it's been so long…"

00

 _It had taken planning, saving and a little bit of luck to successfully surprise his girlfriend._

 _During a study break while they were curled on the couch together watching mindless television, a commercial for Medieval Times had played. Kensi had told him offhand that she had wanted to go since she was a kid, but never had._

 _He had vowed to himself then that he would take her._

 _So, he had planned the event. It wasn't cheep, but it was worth it to surprise the woman he loved. He saved his money and booked their seats. He told her they were going to a movie._

 _She had immediately noticed when they got on the wrong bus. He had pressed a kiss to her cheek and asked her to trust him._

 _She had stopped demanding to know where they were going, but playfully pestered him for hints._

 _When they exited the bus at an unusual stop and walked around the corner, she had stopped at the sight of the Medieval Times building down the street. She had thrown her arms around his neck and kissed him so hard he had debated taking her back home._

 _But then, as he stood in line with his girlfriend bouncing on the balls of her feet beside him, he wanted nothing more than to be right there._

" _Excited?" He asked jokingly._

 _She nodded and bumped his hip with hers. "So excited." She wrapped her arms around his arm and leaned into him. "I've always wanted to do this."_

" _I know." He pressed a kiss to the top of her head._

" _I can't believe you tricked me."_

 _He smirked. "I am the king of subterfuge."_

 _She laughed and turned her head to meet his eyes. "You know I'm going to have to get you back for this, right?"_

" _I look forward to it."_

00

"It's been a few years," she confirms.

"We definitely need to go back to making this an annual thing."

She nods. "Old fashioned joust, ale by the mug and giant turkey legs with no cutlery," she picks up her half eaten turkey leg and waves it for effect, "What could be better?"

He laughs and ducks his head to kiss her. "Of course you would be excited about the food."

"The food is awesome." She makes a show of reaching across to his plate and hovering her hand over his own turkey leg.

"Hey, hey." He swats playfully at her hand. "That's my giant turkey leg."

She laughs and withdraws her hand. "I'm having a really good time."

He smiles at his wife, feeling his heart swell in his chest that they can still do something like this, that they started doing in college, and still have just as good a time. "Me, too."

00

Unfortunately, the weekend ends too soon. Deeks leaves the house first Monday morning, knowing his wife will be minutes behind him.

He arrives at work and joins Sam in the bullpen.

The senior agent greets him politely, but isn't friendly. There is no asking about his weekend. In turn, Deeks doesn't ask about Sam's. He knows from experience that asking will result in a sigh or a brushoff, or just plain being ignored.

He opens his laptop and gets to work on his unfinished reports.

A good twenty minutes go by before Kensi appears from the tunnel. He looks up at her arrival and cocks his head at the container in her hands.

She meets his eyes and shrugs, before settling at her desk and opening the container.

From his vantage point, he can see the container holds an entire breakfast meal. Kensi digs in, ignoring him and Sam.

He sighs to himself, knowing his wife has the tendency to eat her feelings. She tends to deny anything is wrong – to herself more than anyone – and eats to cover for her anxiety. He half wants to push her now, but his other half knows sometimes she just needs time to process and admit to herself that something is wrong.

Deeks feels eyes on him and glances to his left. Sam exchanges a look with him.

Deeks turns back to his wife, knowing he has to play along with Sam. "You want to talk about it?"

"No," she mumbles, her eyes on her food.

He frowns slightly. Everything had been good that morning. They had shared breakfast, which made her second breakfast now even more unusual, and he had kissed her goodbye before getting in his car. She had been fine.

"We're here to help," he says, motioning between Sam and himself, but meeting her eyes evenly. He knows she'll understand what he's really saying. _He's_ there to help. He _wants_ to help.

She glances up, her eyes flicking from him to Sam, and then back. She sighs. "I'm fine."

He nods, understanding she doesn't want to talk in front of Sam.

"You sure you're good, Kensi?" Sam calls.

She nods. "I'm sure."

"I'm here to listen," Sam says, stepping over Deeks's words of them both being there. "If you want to talk to someone who won't make a joke of your feelings, I'm here."

Deeks feels his mood fall at Sam's words. For a moment he had thought maybe there was some progress between himself and the senior agent he sat next to. But Sam's words remind him just how much of a joke his presence is to Sam. Across the bullpen, Kensi glares at Sam over her container of breakfast. She looks angry, and Deeks can only be glad that look isn't focused on himself. He feels Sam shift beside him, and then Kensi ducks her head back towards her food and continues eating.

He frowns. She's clearly upset, but he can't do anything to help right now.

00

The team gets word that a contact of Sam's was attacked in prison. Sam finds out the young man he had brought to America after his father was killed in Africa, but had fallen in with the wrong crowd, had been recruited by NCIS to infiltrate a prison gang in exchange for a shorter sentence. The head of the gang is known to be the brother of the leader of a radical group.

Sam goes undercover in the prison as another inmate to help out. Nate has already been recruited by Hetty and placed undercover as the prison psychologist.

Kensi and Deeks spend a few days monitoring the situation, ready to make a move to help at any moment. They're in close quarters with Eric and Nell at work, so they're not able to speak freely with each other during the days. They head home late in the evenings, and leave early in the mornings. Kensi is still clearly dealing with something, but she assures him she is okay and they will talk once they have time.

On the third day, they finally get to help. The plan is for Sam to help break the leader and a few others out of prison, and stay with them as far as he can. With any luck, he will lead Sam – and NCIS – to his brother.

Sam has instructed the leader of the gang to pretend to be stabbed. He will sneak them out in an ambulance, pretending to be paramedics and prison guards to the stabbed inmate.

It is set up that Sam will 'kill' Nate to keep up appearances with the gang, and will also 'kill' Kensi and Deeks, who are posing as the paramedics.

Dressed as paramedics, they settle into the ambulance and park not far from the prison, waiting for the call.

"How exactly did Hetty get us an ambulance at short notice?" He asks.

Beside him, Kensi shrugs. "You get used to not asking questions."

He chuckles. "It's been six months. Should I be used to it by now?"

Her posture seems to deflate at his question, causing him to frown. All of their exchanges this morning had been light hearted. And he can't figure out how his joke could have upset her.

"What's wrong, Kens?" He asks softly. They're away from the office and are not wearing earwigs in case their 'dead bodies' are searched by the bad guys. They're not in danger of being overheard.

She looks over at him. Her eyes are clouded with anxiety.

"You were fine Monday morning at home," he prompted. "But you've been off since you got to work. And it's been three days…"

She sighs. "I feel trapped," she says quietly.

He feels his heart hammer in his chest. "Trapped…with me?" He knows she loves him as much as he loves her, but things changed the previous year. They went from him spending long stretches of time undercover to him being home full time and working with her. Maybe it's too much. Maybe working together is getting to her and he needs to take a step back.

She huffs a laugh and immediately shakes her head. "No. God, no, Marty. Of course not." She runs her fingers through her hair. "I just don't know how we got here," she starts to explain. "I thought things would change."

He reaches across the middle of the car and holds out his hand. He doesn't understand what she is upset about, but he needs to reach out to her. He simply can't allow her to sit there and look so dejected. His chest aches with the need to help, to try to make things better for her.

She threads her fingers through his and squeezes tight.

"You want to start from the beginning?" He asks. "'Cause you have one confused husband sitting over here…"

Her lips curl upwards at his words. She nods. "When you started working with us, I thought it was the right thing to hide our marriage."

He nods along. "Okay."

"I wanted you to be part of the team before we told them. I wanted you to have a chance to be part of the team without Callen and Sam being influenced by the knowledge that you're everything to me. I _still_ want you to be part of the team."

He nods again, beginning to understand what she's upset about.

"But it's not getting better." She shakes her head quickly. "You are not doing anything wrong. But…"

"But Sam's an ass?" He offers.

She laughs out loud. And then she nods. "I don't know why he's acting like this."

"It's okay," he tries. "I get to be home all the time. I get to work with you. I-"

She cuts him off with the shake of her head. "That's not good enough. You deserve better than this."

"Kens, there is nothing I want more than to spend time with you. I've worked with a dozen different cops who treat me like Sam does."

"It's still not good enough."

"You are only responsible for you, Kens. You are not responsible for Sam's behaviour. Or Callen's. Or anyone else's for that matter."

She squeezes his hand. "I just want to be able to tell them," she admits. "I don't want to hide anymore."

He exhales slowly. He wants that, too. Although keeping a secret with his wife has been fun at times, he doesn't want to hide who she is to him any longer.

"Part of me still thinks things will get better if we wait just a little longer. But the other part of me wonders if we've waited too long already."

He waits until she has fallen silent to speak. "I don't think there's a right amount of time here, Kens. I think it's up to you and me to decide what the right amount of time is." He squeezes her hand.

She smiles softly at him.

"What upset you Monday morning?" He prompts.

She shrugs. "I don't want to drive in separately anymore. We had this great weekend and then Monday morning…" She trails off.

He nods in understanding. "I left first to go to work. Because we have to stagger our arrival."

"Yeah. I want us to be able to be open at work. I want us to drive in together. I want the team to know, and to accept us. And I want Sam to stop being such a douche."

He actually laughs at her term for Sam. "Well, we can't control Sam's behaviour. And he's only a douche some of the time. Other times he's actually nice and helpful." He pauses. "And, Kens, we can't control if they're going to accept us."

She blinks a few times and nods her head. He squeezes her hand, hating how upset this is making her. "I just thought everything would work out. I love you so much, Marty. And I love this team; they're like a second family to me. I wanted so much for you to settle in like I did, to be accepted like I was. But now I'm worried…"

He sighs as the full weight of her worries settle onto his shoulders. "Hey," he calls, smiling when she meets his eyes. "I love you," he tells her, drawing a smile from her lips. "And I like working with your team. But I think we both need to be prepared that they may not accept us." He squeezes her hand. "I think you really need to be prepared. Because we can't control their reactions."

She nods. "If they don't accept us, I don't know how I can keep working like this."

"If it causes that big a problem, I'll walk away," he tells her. She has a home here with this team, and he's not about to get in the way of that. They will always have each other at home. He can go back to his precinct if he needs to.

She opens her mouth, and he immediately cuts her off. "From the team, not from you. Never walking away from you."

She offers him a smile and then shakes her head. "I know you'll never walk away from me, Marty," she tells him softly. "And if you tried, I would track you down."

He laughs openly at her words. "I don't doubt that."

She smiles back at him for a long moment, before she sobers. "If they can't accept who you are to me, Marty, then I don't want anything to do with this team. If you're gone, I'm gone."

Deeks knows better than to argue with his wife. And he feels his heart swell with affection and gratitude for the amazing woman he's sharing his life with.

"We'll figure it out," he tells her. "When we have time, let's sit down and really talk about this."

"I'd like that."

00

Kensi and Deeks eventually get called to the prison as their undercover paramedic personas. They don't put up much of a fight as Sam 'kills' them both to keep up appearances. Once Sam and the escaping inmates drive away in the ambulance, they meet up with Nate.

Sam sticks with his mark as long as he can, but while he is 'getting rid of' the ambulance, his mark kills Sam's contact.

Sam shoves past Deeks when he attempts to calm the angry senior agent, and only stops when Hetty intervenes.

Deeks leaves Sam and Hetty to meet his wife by the car.

Kensi is frowning, having witnessed the scene.

He settles beside her, leaning back on the hood of the car like she is. "To be fair, he just lost someone he cared about."

She nods. "But he would never treat me or Callen like that."

He nods, feeling that twinge of unease in his chest that he gets when he's being singled out in a bad way. "I'm glad he treats you well."

She shifts her eyes to him. Across the parking lot, Sam is focussed on Hetty and not paying attention to them. "That's not enough. It's both of us or nothing."

Deeks sighs as her earlier words come back to him. "Promise me you won't do anything impulsive, okay?" He remembers with great clarity how much she had struggled to find acceptance as a young woman in a male-dominated field. She's accepted and respected here. And that means a lot to him. He sees her as nothing less than amazing and capable, and he wants her working with a team who sees her abilities.

She seems to deflate in front of him. "Fine."

He chuckles at her tone. "I don't want you sacrificing for me, Kens, anymore than you want me to do so for you. We will figure this out so you don't feel trapped anymore. But walking away isn't going to solve anything."

She leans against him. "I know. I just want…"

He leans against her, too. "I know."

00

 _Deeks was settled at the kitchen table, case notes splayed out in front of him, when his wife stormed in the front door and slammed it behind her. He looked up, meeting her eyes._

 _She huffed and kicked off her shoes._

" _Whatever it is, I didn't do it," she said lightly, holding up his hands._

 _She rewarded him with a hint of a smile, before scowling again._

 _He slowly got up and made his way towards his wife, who was now pacing back and forth in their small living room. He reached out and snagged her arm as she walked by, stopping her. "What happened, Kens?"_

 _She stopped and stood stock still for a moment, and then her posture deflated and her eyes welled with tears._

" _Oh, hey," he murmured. He hated seeing his wife upset, and anytime she cried it tugged at his heart. "Come here."_

 _She went easily, tucking herself into his arms against his chest._

 _He ran a hand up and down her spine, knowing how it soothed her. "I'm here."_

 _She tucked her face into the crook of his neck and breathed hard, in and out, for many cycles._

 _When she eventually pulled back again, her eyes were red, but dry._

" _What happened?" He asked again._

" _I hate men," she announced._

 _He smirked. "We're sorry."_

 _She actually laughed and ducked her head for a moment, pressing her forehead to his shoulder. "Okay, not all men."_

 _He pressed a kiss to the side of her head. "Thompson again?" He asked knowingly. The older, male agent his wife had been working with for the last couple months had featured in many of her less than auspicious stories. He made is clear that he did not support women in law enforcement._

 _She nodded and lifted her head to meet his eyes again. "He's such a sexist asshole. And today we were working with another team. One of them was just like Thomson."_

" _I'm sorry."_

" _He actually told me I was a liability to the operation and made me sit out."_

 _He shook his head. "You don't deserve that, Kens."_

" _I'm just so tired of fighting for every inch…"_

 _He kissed her and then rested his hands on her shoulders. He ducked down to meet her eyes. "You are the best federal agent that I know. And eventually those assholes are going to have to accept that."_

 _She huffed a laugh. "And just how many federal agents do you know?"_

 _He pursed his lips for a moment and then shook his head. "Doesn't matter, you'll always be the best."_

 _She laughed._

 _He smiled at the knowledge that he managed to bring up her mood. "Listen to me, Kens. You are amazing. And you're going to be amazing at this job. You are my badass, sharp shooter, strong, independent and amazing wife. People notice that. And the guys who are bringing you down are only doing so because you intimidate them."_

 _She released a shaky breath and offered him a soft smile. "Sometimes I can believe you."_

 _He leaned in to peck her lips. "I will always be here to remind you." He reached to tuck a few stray hairs behind her ear. "You're amazing," he repeated. "And when you have a chance to show off those skills of yours, people are going to be astounded."_

 _She scrunched her nose slightly, and he knew it was because she wasn't always comfortable with so many compliments. "What if I don't get the chance to prove what I can do?"_

" _You will," he assured. "You'll meet the right people, and you'll get your chance."_

00

Before the team can be given any time to rest from the previous case, Callen catches a man breaking into his house. The man is Romani and Callen quickly determines he was sent by an old friend, Arkady Kolcheck.

While Callen is off meeting with Arkady, Sam arrives at work, dressed as a highway patrol cop.

Deeks is in the shooting range with his wife when the senior agent walks by the glass walls. His attention catches and he turns to watch Sam go by. "No, way… What? No way."

Kensi turns to see what has his attention. She catches sight of Sam and then exchanges a look with Deeks.

"You know about this?" Deeks asks.

She shakes her head.

"Let's go find out." He disarms his weapon and makes his way out of the shooting range to catch up with Sam. He and Kensi haven't had a chance to really sit down and talk yet, but her words still circle in his mind. He doesn't want her to give up what she's worked so hard to find for herself at work. He's made a concerted choice to renew his efforts to create a better working relationship with Sam. Now he just has to follow through with that choice.

"Are you kidding me?" He calls as he steps out of the shooting range, Kensi on his heels. "Hey, buddy. Are you working undercover as highway patrol?"

"Supposed to be," Sam says, without looking up. He sets his helmet down onto the table in the weapons room.

"I grew up watching CHiPs. I mean, I wanted to be Ponch. It was probably half the reason I became a cop," he jokes. "You need a partner for this assignment?"

Sam scoffs, but looks at him for the first time. "I have a partner. This assignment is for Callen and I only. When he's ready, we'll get back to our assignment."

Deeks feels himself deflate at the clear brush off. He knows it's going to be difficult to make progress with Sam.

"Besides, you don't look like a cop," Sam adds.

He refuses to back down because of his appearance. "Really? Because out of all of us, I _am_ the only actual cop. And all of this," he motions to his face, "Is on purpose. It's so I can work undercover."

"As what?" Sam calls back at him. "Shaggy from Scooby-Doo?" He doesn't wait for a response. He turns and walks out of the room, leaving Kensi and Deeks behind.

Deeks watches him go. Beside him, Kensi snorts a laugh. He turns to her and gives her a look.

Her eyes are sparkling as she meets his. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry… I just…" She scrunches her nose. "You do kind of look like Shaggy." She reaches up to run her finger tips along his scruf.

He huffs at her, but can't bite back his own smile at how adorable she looks in this moment. "Think we can change Monty's name to Scooby?"

She laughs out loud, shaking her head at his joke. "Also," she moves her hand to brush her fingers across his bangs. "What do you mean this is so you can work undercover? I happen to remember a certain college law student with a similar hair cut."

God, he wishes he could kiss her right now. "It wasn't always this long," he points out.

"True." She cocks her head as she stares at him. "I did used to be able to see some of your forehead."

He rolls his eyes in good nature. "And I used to shave more often."

"Yeah, but you were never exactly clean shaven…" She draws her palm along his cheek.

"Do you want me to be clean shaven?"

She shakes her head. "I want you to be you."

00

Callen meets with Arkady, who tells him he had sent the man to find him. He tells Callen about a man named Singh, who hides shady business dealing behind his charity work. Singh is in the middle of a deal to bring millions of dollars worth of faulty computer chips into the country.

Research into Singh tells the team he is a former orphan who grew up on the streets of Mumbai. He built an empire in tech support and call centres. Most recently he had expanded his business into IT security. He's known to be a philanthropist, having given millions of dollars to his many refugee charities all over the world. There had been rumours that his donations had been bribes or shows of faith to various war torn countries in exchange for business deals, but no investigations had ever been able to link him to anything shady.

Singh also owns a number of LA nightclubs, and is quite the playboy. He's also known to be very superstitious and relies on astrology and other esoteric means to make major business decisions.

A brief discussion results in Kensi being sent undercover in one of Singh's nightclubs as a psychic. Being Friday, it's a perfect evening to hit the club knowing Singh will most likely be present. Sam makes sure to give Deeks a look that Deeks knows means the details of the operation are not up for debate. Deeks doesn't bother to speak up. He agrees with the operation. He simply nods at Sam. Maybe allowing him to have this one will help with his little project.

Under Hetty's direction, the team dresses in nightclub attire. Deeks is comfortable in his jeans, shirt and dark jacket. But when Kensi steps out of the change room in a form fitting black dress and heels, he feels his mouth go dry.

She meets his eyes and sends him a knowing looking.

He winks at her, which makes her laugh.

The team drives to the club in tandem. Knowing they are connected to Callen and Sam through their comms, Kensi and Deeks keep their conversation on the task at hand.

When they get to the bar, the team spreads out to locate Singh. Sam spots him in the VIP section.

"Time to make your move, Kensi," Sam announces. The plan had been for Kensi to walk by and catch Singh's attention.

"What if he's not interested in me?" Kensi asks.

Deeks scoffs and meets his wife's eyes. "Then we know he's probably gay."

She scrunches her nose and rolls her eyes, but she's smiling as she heads away to pass by Singh.

He's smiling too as he watches her walk away, glad he's made her smile.

Kensi successfully catches Singh's attention. Singh starts to follow her.

Deeks strides forward and meets Callen. They cut off Singh on his way towards the bar.

"Good job, Kensi," Callen says quietly. "We're right behind you."

Kensi doesn't make any reaction that says she has heard their team leader. She leans over the bar, asking the bartender for a drink.

Despite his attempt at being professional, Deeks can't help but check her out as he and Callen approach. Something tells him she's well aware of his eyes on her. She's already gained Singh's attention so this little show is for him.

"Hi, again," Callen says to Kensi, falling seamlessly into a bubby, social persona.

Kensi turns to them and offers Callen a polite nod.

"Look, I'm sorry to bother you again. I was just wondering if you would read my buddy's fortune."

Kensi makes a show of sighing. "I'm just trying to enjoy my drink, okay?"

"Come on," Deeks presses. "You scared I'm a harder read than this guy?"

Callen presses on as well. "I told him how good you were. Please?"

"Okay, fine. Give me your hand."

Deeks holds his hand out to his wife, though his smile falters ever so slightly at the look she gives him. As she takes his hand into both of hers and flips it over to see his palm he suddenly realizes this could end badly for him.

"Hmm," Kensi pretends to think for a moment. "You spend most of your time around people, but there's only a few you really trust." She looks up to meet his eyes, still playing the part of the fortune teller. But there's a little of Kensi there, too. "In fact, very few people get to know the real you." She glances back down at his hand. "You keep a lot of secrets from the people around you. One or two really big secrets."

Deeks has to actually bite back a smirk at how his wife is so expertly toeing the line right now.

"You like puppies, long walks on the beach and…" She looks up again and smirks, "Musical theatre."

He glares playfully at her, knowing Singh can't see his expression from his vantage point behind him. "Amazing," he comments dryly.

Callen chuckles next to them. "It is. Even got the musical theatre part. I told you she was the best."

Deeks nods. "Listen, let me buy you a drink."

"No, I'm okay, thanks."

"One drink," he insists.

Kensi makes a show of pulling her hand from his. "No, seriously, I'm fine."

Singh interrupts as planned. "I think the lady has made herself quite clear, gentlemen." He ushers Callen and Deeks towards the VIP section, and stays with Kensi.

Over the comms, Deeks can hear Kensi carrying on a new conversation with Singh. With Eric's help, she 'reads' Singh's hand.

Hovering around the entrance to the VIP section, Deeks exchanges a look with Callen. Callen's expression tells him how impressed he is with Kensi. And that just reinforces Deeks's goal of working better with Sam. Because there's no way he wants his wife giving up the place she has on this team for him.

Kensi's conversation with Singh continues, as she nudges Singh along, giving up a few tidbits about her cover identity.

Deeks hears a throat clear behind himself, but he ignores it.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't two-faced Jimmy the Weasel."

Deeks sighs before turning around to face a prior mark from an assignment early in his undercover career. He had been tasked with infiltrating a robbery crew.

"Little Keen," he greets evenly. "It's been a while." He tries to turn back to the current assignment, but Keen isn't having it.

"It was a while in jail because of you, Jimmy."

He turns back to his previous mark. "That's funny, because I don't remember telling you to rob that bank." The crew he had infiltrated hadn't exactly been high speed. They had started out robbing private residences and small businesses. LAPD knew who they were, but Deeks was sent in to identify how they fenced the stolen items. It had only taken a few weeks for him to become a trusted member. And then, with LAPD holding back on arrests as Deeks worked to find out who the robbery crew was fencing items to, the crew had grown bolder and decided to rob a bank.

" _Deeks has some unwanted company,_ " he hears Callen through his comm.

" _I'm on it,"_ Sam announces.

Keen goes on to blame Deeks for his stay in jail and his likelihood of becoming a repeat offender. "So, I know I'm probably going back to jail," Keen tells him. "But when I do, I'm going back a hero for turning a cop inside out."

Deeks knows how to handle these guys. He doesn't flinch. "Just a second." He holds up a finger to Keen. He has spotted Sam to his right. "I just want to introduce you to a friend of mine."

Sam stops at Deeks's side, staring down Keen. "What's up?"

"What's up?" Deeks echoes.

Unfortunately, Keen has friends nearby, too. He calls over two men, both of whom are as big as, if not bigger than, Sam.

Keen and his buddies quickly start a fight.

Sam flips one of Keen's buddies over a couch as Deeks take on the other two. He holds his own until Sam is back beside him. The bouncers show up quickly. Knowing Kensi is possibly still operational, Deeks purposefully struggles against the bouncers, drawing attention away from Sam so that he can make an easy exit into the crowd and help Kensi and Callen if needed.

The bouncers separate Deeks from Keen and his buddy, and drag him to the back door.

"I didn't start this," Deeks yells, making a scene. "Easy on the leather, man." He tries to remove the bouncer's hand from his jacket.

They reach the back door. He is pushed through the door and shoved unceremoniously off the ledge of the stairs. The fall isn't far and he rolls on impact.

"Don't come back," the bouncer yells, before slamming the door.

Deeks groans as he starts to pick himself up. Very precise heeled footsteps make their way towards him. He looks up to meet his wife's eyes.

"This club sucks," he mutters.

She laughs. "Can't take you anywhere, can we?"

He groans as he pushes himself onto his knees. He refrains from saying too much to Kensi, knowing they are still connected to the team through comms. In another time, he would point out that he had been able to see up her skirt.

"You good?" Kensi asks, offering him a hand.

"I'm good." He takes her hand and stands up. "Thanks."

"Any time, partner."

He smiles at her. "Partner," he whispers. He loves being her partner, just like he loves being her husband, just not quite as much.

Being well after midnight, the team is sent home to rest before regrouping in the morning.

00

Morning comes far too soon. Kensi and Deeks dress, share a quick breakfast, and drive into work in their own cars. They stagger their arrival by just a few minutes, knowing the rest of the team will be eager to get going.

Deeks gets in first. Sam ignores him as he settles at the desk next to him.

"Morning," Deeks offers both Callen and Sam.

Callen sends a distracted greeting back. Sam just sighs and returns his attention to his notes.

A minutes later, Kensi strides into the bullpen.

"Singh try to contact you yet?" Sam asks.

"No," Kensi replies as she settles at her own desk.

Deeks feels his brow furrow. He's been with Kensi, so he knows Singh hasn't tried to contact her. But he also knows Kensi would immediately let Callen and Sam know if he had. And he knows Sam knows that, too.

"Can't say I blame him," Sam says grumpily. "Not after the stunt Deeks pulled last night."

Deeks forces himself to laugh, still holding onto his resolve to bond with Sam. "Sorry, man. But not my fault I'm Mr. Popularity with the criminals." He tries to make light of the situation, knowing it really wasn't his fault that a prior mark happened to be in the same club last night.

"Hey," Kensi calls sharply at Sam, taking a different tact. "That could have happened to anyone."

Sam scoffs again, still refusing to look in Deeks's direction. "Yeah, but it didn't."

"You should be thanking me," Deeks tries again. "I purposefully distracted those bouncers so you could make a clean getaway."

Sam finally looks in Deeks's direction, but all he does is shoot him a glare. "The day I need your help, Deeks, is the day I hang up my gun."

Deeks glares back at him, feeling his resolve slipping ever so slightly. What had happened the previous night had not been his fault. And he knows Sam knows that. And he also knows Sam has purposefully picked a fight this morning. The senior agent has been extra surly since his friend had been killed, and has been taking out his mood on Deeks.

"Seriously, Sam," Kensi calls before Deeks can say a word. "What is your problem? I've been there when you've been recognized before. And I sure as hell didn't blame you for it."

Sam scoffs. "I handled it better."

"Like you're handling your feelings now?" She calls back at him. "You're acting like a child."

"Whoa," Callen calls a stop to what is clearly about to be quite the argument. "Let's not go there. We're all working together on this."

"Yeah, and because of Deeks, we need to find another way to Singh."

"We don't know that yet," Kensi calls back at Sam. "And it wasn't Deeks's fault."

Deeks watches as his wife turns her glare to Callen. The team leader stares back at her for a long moment, and then subtly shakes his head. Deeks is pretty sure that means Callen isn't about to stand up to his partner.

Kensi huffs and strides out of the bullpen.

Deeks frowns to himself. As much as he doesn't want to interrupt his partner's relationship with her team, his presence clearly isn't helping. He stands.

"Where are you going?" Callen asks.

"I'm going after my partner," he says evenly. "Apparently that's what we do here; only care about our own partner." He brushes past Callen without another word.

He finds his wife in the parking lot. She is pacing back and forth, looking angry.

She catches sight of him, but doesn't stop her pacing. "I had to get out of there before I did something I may regret." She huffs and waves her arms in anger. "I'm going to kill him."

He stops a few feet away and watches with amusement as she continues to storm back and forth. He knows from experience she just needs to cool down. "Which one?"

She huffs. "Both of them. Sam is acting like a moody child. And Callen refuses to stand up to his own partner. No way he would let us act like that. I couldn't stay in there any longer or I was going to say something I would really regret. And not about us. About them."

"What you say is true," Deeks concedes. "But, to be fair, Sam did just lose a friend. Less than a week ago. I think that does give him some leeway."

"And the last six months?"

"Haven't been as bad as the last few days."

She finally stops. Her arms are crossed over her chest. If he wasn't so hyper aware of why she was upset and the possible fallout, he would think she looked kind of adorable. "That still doesn't make it okay."

"No, it doesn't." He steps forward so they are closer. "But he just lost a friend. And we've been working pretty much non-stop for a week. We're all exhausted. Now is not the time to be making any rash judgments or decisions."

She exhales. "Why do you have to be so freaking reasonable?"

He smiles at that. "Because it's my job to be the yin to your yang."

She makes a face. "Not sure that made sense…"

He laughs. "We balance each other, Kens."

She reaches a hand towards him, but stops at the sound of a phone ringing. "That's my cover phone," she says. She pulls the second cell from her pocket.

He nods.

She answers the call. It's quickly apparent that the call is from Singh.

She's able to carry on a conversation flawlessly, while meeting Deeks's eyes. She motions towards the door and he nods. He turns and hurries into the building.

Sam and Callen are still in the bullpen, sitting at their respective desks.

"Look, Deeks," Callen starts as Deeks makes his appearance.

Deeks waves him off. "Kensi just got a call from Singh."

Callen stands. "Good."

00

Singh invites Kensi, as her cover Esme, for lunch at a waterfront restaurant. She drives in alone, in case she is being watched.

Deeks and Sam seat themselves strategically around the restaurant. Kensi sits with Singh and everything seems to be going well at first. Then the entire team is surprised when a second man joins the table. He is the same man who Callen had caught in his house the previous morning.

The man they thought worked for Arkady.

Kensi handles the situation like a pro. She doesn't let her surprise show through and manages to get the man, Niko, to reveal some information about himself. The lunch ends with Singh inviting Kensi back to his club for a business deal later that day.

When Kensi heads back to her car, another man approaches her with a knife. She easily disarms him before Deeks and Sam catch up. The man admits no reasons to trying to kill her, but they link him to Niko.

Knowing that Niko wanted her out of the picture leads the team to believe he is playing both Arkady and Singh.

Callen heads back to meet with Arkady again.

Sam and Deeks cover Kensi as she heads back to Singh's club. They listen through comms as she successfully convinces Singh she has had a premonition that Niko has betrayed him.

Singh changes the location of the meet for the counterfeit computer chips, and takes Kensi along with him.

Deeks exhales slowly from the passenger seat of the Challenger as he watches his wife get into Singh's car. This part of the plan had been thrown together quickly while the team split up. He knows there is no reason to suspect Singh has made Kensi, but he still doesn't like the knowledge that Kensi is in another car, surrounded by bad guys, isolated from the team and unarmed.

Sam immediately pursues Singh's car. But he drives too close for Deeks's comfort.

"Don't get too close," Deeks requests. There aren't many cars on the road, and the last thing he wants is to be made and risk Kensi being made.

"I know how to run a tail," Sam snipes back at him, not even bothering to look in his direction.

With anything other than his wife's safety, he would probably let it go. But this is about his Kensi's safety so he's not letting it go. "Okay, well, just fall back a bit. We'll still be able to see them, but maybe they don't notice us."

"I'll fall back to the curb and kiss your ass out if you don't shut up."

Deeks has officially had enough. The thought that Sam could even possibly be purposefully driving too close for Deeks's comfort pushes him over the edge. His wife is counting on them to back her up. "What the hell is your problem?" He snaps at Sam. "Seriously."

"You're my problem," Sam snaps back at him. "And the fact that my partner is out there alone, while I'm stuck here with you."

"Yeah? Well, I'm stuck in here with you, too," Deeks says, not backing down. "And my partner is trapped in a car ahead of us with a bunch of armed bad guys. So, maybe we have the same problem."

"Maybe we do," Sam responds.

"Okay, so we agree on the shared problem thing. And maybe you can get over yourself so we can act like partners right now, so we can save our partners, and you and I never have to actually be partners."

Sam is quiet for a moment. "Fine," he says, in a somewhat quieter and less annoyed tone.

Deeks nods. "Fine."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Just drive. And not too close."

Sam says nothing, but it doesn't escape Deeks's notice that the senior agent does back off just a bit.

Deeks and Sam follow Singh to his meet, where they rejoin Kensi and easily take down Singh and his guys.

And then, the three of them hurry to Callen. They get there in time to help Callen in a firefight between Arkady's guys and Niko's guys.

When the gunfire stops, the team is safe and unharmed. Arkady is also safe, and the one living bad guy is taken into custody.

"You good?" Deeks asks his wife.

"I'm good. You?"

"Great," he responds. He's exhausted, but glad the case is finally over.

They watch together as Callen and Sam share a partner moment.

"They're worse than us," Kensi remarks as the senior partners share a man-hug.

Deeks chuckles.

Callen and Sam join them quickly.

Sam nods to Deeks. "Nice shooting, Deeks."

Deeks nods. "Thanks. You, too."

00

It's almost midnight Saturday night when Kensi and Deeks finally get home.

They're both so tired that they crash in similar style to the night before.

It's almost ten Sunday morning when they're finally able to drag themselves from bed.

"I'm pretty sure this is a record for you," Deeks comments over a simple breakfast of cereal. They've been so busy this week they haven't even been to the grocery store.

She raises an eyebrow from across the kitchen table.

"You slept in. A lot for you."

She rolls her eyes in good nature. "You're a bad influence."

He chuckles. "I happen to think I'm an awesome influence."

"Well, you have had good influences on breakfast choices…" She holds up a spoonful of their very sugary cereal.

It's his turn to roll his eyes. "Glad you're happy."

She shoots him a warm smile. "I am happy, Marty."

"Things looking a bit better now with some sleep?"

She sighs and lays down her spoon. "A little," she admits. Then she scrunches her nose. "I yelled at Callen and Sam."

"Well, I wouldn't say you yelled, exactly, but you definitely got your point across."

"I was frustrated."

"I know. And I love seeing you all irritated and badass Kensi. Well, you know, when it's not directed at me…"

She laughs out loud. "Funny."

"I try." He takes a moment to take a breath. "I don't want you to leave your job for me."

"Marty…"

He shakes his head. "You belong on that team," he tells her. "You're amazing. Callen and Sam see that. And they have nothing but respect and admiration for you. I want you to be happy, and that's a whole picture kind of a thing. You need to be happy at work. And you weren't always happy before you joined OSP."

"I want you to be happy, too," she counters.

"I'm not unhappy," he tells her. "Sam is inconsistent. And Callen is…well, Callen. But everyone else is great. And I love getting to work with you."

"I love getting to work with you, too," she tells him.

"So, we need to accept that when Callen and Sam find out about us that they may not react the way we want."

"You mean the way I want."

He purses his lips for a moment. "I mean the way you started out expecting," he clarifies.

She nods. "I get that now. I just have to…accept it. I still can't work with them if they don't accept us."

"Well, I can't be the reason you leave this job."

She huffs a laugh. "We're quite a pair, huh?"

He nods. "Yeah, but we're pretty awesome."

She laughs out loud. "So, what do you propose we do?"

"I think we set a deadline, so we don't feel like we're risking waiting forever. And if things don't change by then, we just tell them."

She nods. "Okay." Her shoulders drop a bit as she releases some tension. "I like that idea. What deadline?"

"How about…one year to when I started working with you full time?"

She frowns. "A year? But that's so long."

He smiles at her reaction. "Only six months from now."

Her brow furrows at that. "Yeah, but still…"

"It doesn't mean we have to wait to tell them. We can always tell them sooner. But that can serve as the deadline. Absolutely no later than that."

She still looks unsure.

"You want to make it sooner?"

She shrugs. "I get where you're coming from. I just…don't want to wait so long."

"We could just say screw it and tell them tomorrow," he jokes.

Kensi laughs and points her spoon at him. "Don't tempt me."

"Let's think about it for a few days," he says more seriously. "Maybe by next weekend we can decide on a deadline date?"

She smirks at him. "So…we need a deadline to come up with a deadline?"

He closes one eye and thinks. "Maybe…"

"Okay. A deadline to come up with a deadline."

"Agreed."

He stands and she sends him a questioning look. "What are you doing?"

He ducks his head and pauses only inches from her. "Sealing our deal with a kiss." Then he closes the gap and kisses her.

00

Monday morning comes far too soon, but everyone seems to be in a better mood having had some rest.

The team spends most of their morning finishing paperwork from the previous busy week. In the afternoon, Deeks hits the shooting range with his wife, and then spends an hour in the gym.

They leave early for the day and head home.

Tuesday is the first of the month, so Deeks gets up early to head into his precinct for his monthly meeting with Bates.

He stumbles into the bathroom to shower after a late night with his wife. They had spent Sunday resting, too tired to do much else. But after getting home early from work Monday, with energy levels renewed, they had spent a few hours of quality time together which kept them up well past midnight.

He showers quickly, dries off and then pads back into the bedroom.

Kensi stirs in the bed. In his absence, she has rolled into the middle of the bed and successfully taken about ninety percent of the bedding with her. He marvels at the fact that someone so tiny can take up so much space without even trying.

"'s early," she complains.

He pulls on a pair of boxers and then sits on the bed next to her. "Have to go in to see Bates this morning," he reminds. He runs his hand down her spine over the blankets.

She sighs at the contact. "Right…"

He ducks down to press a kiss to the side of her head, and laughs when she rolls onto her back so he can kiss her properly. Her hands reach up and tug him down even closer.

He acquiesces without argument. He deepens the kiss and tugs back the top of the blanket to reveal more tantalizing bare skin.

She moans into his mouth and her hands trail down his abdomen to the band of his boxers.

He sighs and breaks the kiss with a series of quick pecks. "I need to leave soon," he whispers against her.

She huffs. "Bates won't care if you're late."

"Yes, he will. And he can make my life a living hell if he wants to. If I don't piss him off, he leaves me alone."

She crinkles her nose and laughs. "Fine."

He kisses her again. "I will make this up to you."

"Tonight?"

"Tonight." He seals the deal with one last kiss before pushing himself off the bed.

He's well aware of her eyes tracking his movements as he dresses for work. When he is finished, he turns to find her sitting up against the headboard, covers still piled haphazardly around her. She's always been a bit of a cover hog. And he's never quite been able to discern how something so small could cause such upheaval to their bedding. But he loves it.

"You getting up?"

"Thinking about it…"

He smirks. "See? I am the good influence. You don't want to get up early."

"That is only because you kept me up so late last night, Mr. Deeks."

"I think it may have been you who kept me up so late, Mrs. Deeks."

She scoffs, but her eyes are sparkling.

"I will see you again in a few hours," he says as she yawns. "And I will bring coffee."

"I look forward to it."

Deeks can't help but make his way back to the bed for one more kiss before he leaves, not after last night, and certainly not with his wife sitting there, naked, and looking adorable wrapped in the blankets. "I love you," he tells her before capturing her lips with his.

"I love you, too," she echoes when he pulls away. "Sure I can't entice you to stay?"

He smiles at her. "I wish."

He leaves the house quickly, knowing he will pick up coffee and breakfast at the coffee shop down the street from the precinct. Monty is fast asleep on his bed by the back door when Deeks checks on him, so he doesn't need to stop to let the dog out.

Traffic is relatively light this time of the morning. He makes good time and parks at the precinct.

He's yawning as he makes his way down the street to the coffee shop. It's just a small, hole-in-the-wall type of shop. A counter with standing room, and just two small tables to the side. Not the kind of place you go to in order to sit and take your time, but the type of place you go when you don't have a lot of time and want something good.

There is no one else in line when Deeks gets there. One man is sitting at a table to the side, looking hung-over and uninterested in the world as he hunches over his coffee cup.

Deeks greets the barista and orders a large coffee and breakfast sandwich. He is just passing his money over the counter when the door behind him opens.

He hears the sound of a gun being cocked and everything changes.

He spins. The man standing behind him is large and carrying a small calibre handgun.

"Whoa, buddy," Deeks says, putting up his hands. He doesn't work this area anymore, so chances are good the guy with the gun won't know he's a cop. Why the guy with the gun is robbing a coffee shop right down the street from a police precinct, though, flashes through his mind. He must be desperate.

"Empty the register!" The bad guy demands. "If anyone even looks like they are trying to call for help, I will shoot you." He waves his gun around.

Deeks stays back, his hands still raised.

The guy at the table also has his hands raised.

The barista rushes to empty the register. "It's not much," she cries. "We're just…we're just a small shop. Only open a few hours today." She dumps the money into a plastic takeout bag. "This is everything."

Deeks knows the shop is set back from the road, so no one is likely to notice the situation unless they come into the shop. And he knows the guy with the gun must be desperate and isn't stable. If someone comes into the shop, that could set this guy off. He knows he needs to make his move.

When the bad guy reaches for the small bag of money, Deeks moves forward. He gets a hit in, and then reaches for his right arm. They struggle and Deeks slams his hand against the counter. The bad guy releases his grip on the gun and it falls to the floor. Deeks slams the bad guy downward when he struggles again. He falls to the floor.

"Turn over!" Deeks shouts, wrenching his hands behind his back.

He's about to ask if the barista has any rope or tape, when she yells, "Behind you!"

He cranes his neck and then springs to his feet, but it's too late.

The guy sitting at the table has gotten to his feet. And he's aiming a gun at Deeks.

He holds up his hands.

The guy fires.

Deeks feels a searing pain in his chest, and then hears the sound of the shot.

He stumbles back against the wall behind him and falls, clutching to the source of his pain. When he pulls his hand away, it's covered in blood.

The shooter moves towards him as the other guy gets to his feet.

Deeks is breathing hard when he holds his hand up.

The shooter steps right up to him and holds his hand out for a beat.

Deeks shudders and struggles to breathe. He knows what happens next.

He fires again.

Deeks feels the breath knocked out of him at the second impact. His vision blurs.

There are sounds of hurried footsteps and the slamming of the door. The barista is screaming.

He coughs and feels a metallic taste at the back of his mouth.

Pain and heat overtake his entire torso. He doesn't even know where the second bullet landed.

There are more footsteps. His vision clears enough that he is able to make out the barista hurrying towards him. She is holding a phone to her ear, babbling on.

He thinks she's probably calling for help, but can't understand her words.

"You're going to be okay," she tells him.

He hopes she's right.

He lifts his hand away from himself, staring at the blood. It's coated his wedding band. He stares at it for a moment before pressing it back against himself. His vision blurs again and he can feel his awareness slipping.

"Kens," he murmurs. "Oh, Kensi."

And then he's gone from awareness.


	40. Personal - Part I

_**AN: If you are a stickler for details, please keep in mind that this storyline could not proceed exactly as it did on the show. Because if the bad guys found out where Deeks lived, then they would know where Kensi lived. And that would defeat the reason of Deeks getting shot (as per the episode).**_

 _ **Also, I wanted to take a moment to address/remind readers of a few things, based on a few questions, comments and assumptions that have popped up in reviews/PMs:**_

 _ **Kensi chose to keep their marriage from the team because she wants Deeks to find a home with the team like she has. She wanted him to be accepted before the team finds out who he is to her so their choices/opinions aren't influenced. Whether it's the right decision or not, it's the decision she thought was right at the time, and it can be difficult to let go of our choices sometimes (especially if we're stubborn like Kensi). The important thing to keep in mind is that her choice was what she thought was best for Deeks.**_

 _ **Not wanting to give away when the marriage will be revealed… I will remind you of a few things I have been open about: not everyone will find out at the same time; it will be an unexpected moment, but also one where Kensi/Deeks have a choice; and it's only been about 6 months their time since Deeks joined the team on a full time basis (just a reminder since some readers have advised they think it has been 1-2 years**_ __ _ **).**_

00

Episode 2.17 – Personal. Part I.

Kensi huffs when she hears the front door shut, knowing she really has to get out of bed. She actually feels bad that Marty had been forced to get up even earlier. But she doesn't regret last night. After such a long week, they had needed some quality time together.

She rolls out of bed and makes her way into the bathroom for a much needed hot shower to wake her up. The hot water sluices across her body, reminding her she is a little sore in the best possible way.

She stays in the shower until the water begins to cool. She's feeling better when she dries off and chooses an outfit for the day.

After she dresses for work, she heads downstairs. Monty is still asleep, but she nudges him awake and out the door to do his business before she leaves for the day.

She makes herself a bagel for breakfast and brews a coffee into a large travel mug. She sits at the table, knowing she has plenty of time to eat her breakfast at home.

Monty comes back in and she shares a little morning snuggle with the dog, knowing he hasn't had much attention the last week. When she's satisfied Monty is happy, she grabs her bag and her coffee, and heads out the door.

Traffic is just starting to pick up as she makes her way into work.

She pulls into the Mission parking lot behind Eric. The tech steps out of his car and waves a hand in greeting.

She waves back as she pulls into her spot. As she is putting the car into park, her cell phone starts to ring. She frowns, wondering who could be calling so early. She has a good fifteen minutes before she is considered late. And she doubts there is a priority case seeing as Eric is standing across the parking lot, waiting for her.

She pulls her cell out of her bag and glances at the caller ID before answering the call. It shows as Deeks's precinct.

Assuming it's her husband calling from his precinct, she answers the call and lifts the phone to her ear. "Hey, did you lose your phone?"

On the other end there is a beat of silence.

"Hello?" She prompts.

"Mrs. Deeks?" She hears the familiar voice of Lieutenant Bates.

She feels her heart thud against her chest, but swallows down her reaction. "Lieutenant Bates? Hi. Are you looking for Marty? He should have been there almost an hour ago…"

"No, I'm looking for you," he says evenly. "I'm afraid I have some bad news."

She feels her heart thudding in her chest again, but this time she's not able to make it stop. Visions of her husband's car involved in an accident sweep through her head. "Is he alive?"

"Yes."

She swallows hard, as a small wave of relief passes over her. "What happened?" Her voice cracks as she continues.

"From what we can tell, he walked in on a robbery at a coffee shop down the street from the precinct. Uniforms were on scene within minutes of the 911 call. Found his badge and word got back to me quickly."

"Wait…robbery?"

Bates sighs. "He's been shot."

Her breath catches in her chest. _How could this have happened? She had just been with him, barely more than an hour ago._

"He's been taken to Pacific Beach Medical," Bates continues in her silence. "Uniforms on scene reported he was unconscious, but stable. We can send an officer to pick you up or I can meet you there."

His words jolt her from her shock. She jerks the gear shift into reverse and hits the gas. Her car squeals out of her parking space. She slams the breaks and throws the car into drive. "I'll meet you there," she calls into her phone. Then she peels out of the parking lot.

Eric is left standing by the door, his brow furrowed as Kensi speeds away.

00

Kensi parks her car, grabs her shoulder bag and runs towards the entrance of the hospital, desperate. There is a uniformed officer waiting for her at the entrance. She hurries up to him.

"Mrs. Deeks?"

She nods. "Any news?"

"I'm sorry. I don't have any information. Lieutenant Bates asked me to wait here and bring you to him once you arrived."

Kensi nods and follows the officer, wishing he would walk faster, or even run. She needs to see her husband and she needs information. And she needs it now.

Bates is waiting in a small surgical waiting room.

"How is he?" She asks, immediately making a beeline for the lieutenant.

"He's in surgery. He was stable when he was taken in."

She inhales a shuddery breath. She hasn't been able to take a full breath since getting the news.

"Come and sit," Bates urges, motioning towards a set of seats behind them.

She follows numbly, not having the energy to argue. She sits with her head in her hands for a long moment, absorbing the news that Marty is still alive and stable. She then sits up and runs her hands through her hair.

"Is there anyone you want us to call?" Bates asks gently.

She shakes her head. "No. No, it's just us…" Her husband is _everything_ to her.

"We both know how stubborn that husband of yours is," Bates tells her. "He'll pull through this."

Kensi takes a breath and then nods. "You're right. I just can't believe this happened…" Just that morning they had been happy. She had teased him about leaving her in bed, and he had left with the promise to see her in a few hours. How could everything have changed in such a short period of time? And what had she been doing the moment he had been shot? Had she been driving? Or had she still been at the house?

She feels her breath hitch. They just bought their house. He's finally home full time. They're working together. They have their whole future to look forward to. They'd even really talked about having kids.

The next part of their life was finally starting.

Bates pats her on the shoulder. "We already got uniforms combing the streets. Two idiots who decide to rob a coffee shop right down the street from a police precinct won't get away with this for long."

Kensi nods, though her focus really isn't on the people responsible right now. It's on Marty's condition. Ringing sounds from her bag and she sighs. Her phone had rung several times during her drive to the hospital, but she had been far too focused on getting here as fast as she could to even consider trying to answer.

"Do you need to get that?"

"Probably," she tells him, but makes no move to get her phone out of her bag.

"I placed a call to your boss," he tells her, "To let her know what had happened. Somehow I didn't think you were going to stop to tell anyone."

"That's good." She doesn't want to deal with Hetty right now. And she doesn't want to deal with her team.

She doesn't want to deal with anything until she knows her husband is okay.

She falls silent, and Bates lets her. He remains seated next to her, but makes no move to engage her in conversation.

Time passes all too slowly as she allows herself to wallow in her fear. Marty's hurt and there's nothing she can do right now then wait. For someone who needs to fix things, Kensi doesn't like having to wait.

After some unknown period of time, a nurse steps into the room with a small bag. Her eyes scan the crowd and fall on Kensi.

She walks over and Kensi stands to meet her.

"Mrs. Deeks?"

Kensi nods.

"I'm Erica. I'm so sorry for this situation. The surgeon working on your husband wanted me to let you know that he is doing well, and should be out of surgery within the hour."

Kensi releases a slow exhale and nods. "Thank you."

Erica smiles at her. "I also wanted to give you your husband's things. His clothes have been given to the police as evidence," she explains, clearly not knowing Kensi already knows this. Kensi makes no attempt to tell her that. "But these things can be released to you."

Kensi takes the small bag. "Thank you," she says again.

Erica excuses herself.

Kensi sits back down and slowly opens the bag. She pulls out Marty's wallet and badge, his car keys and his sunglasses. The glasses are cracked. She runs her finger over the small blemish, wondering if they broke when he fell.

Her breath hitches as she imagines it in her mind. She imagines him being shot, falling, laying there in a pool of his own blood. She's spent years in federal law enforcement. She's seen people get shot. She's been the one to do the shooting. But the thought of her husband being the one on the receiving end of a bullet makes her sick to her stomach.

She reaches into the bag again. Her fingers find his watch, but as she is wrapping her fingers around it, her index finger brushes over something cool. She peers in and spots his wedding band laying at the bottom of the bag.

She hurriedly pulls it out and holds it up between her thumb and index finger. It flashes at it reflects the overhead light. Just like it had the first time she had seen it.

00

 _The first jeweller they visited was part of a large chain. The sales associates didn't take them seriously due to their age and budget. So, they left._

 _The second store didn't have anything within their budget. The owner, a middle aged man with a crisp haircut and dark suit, was welcoming and helpful, but open about financial expectations. So, they thanked the owner and moved on._

 _The third store was perfect. It was small and owned by a couple in their sixties – named the Golds, a fact Deeks made clear was amazingly fitting. It offered options at every price range. Mrs. Gold told them age didn't matter, only love. Mr. Gold told them they had gotten married themselves when they were just nineteen and twenty._

 _Knowing they were in good hands, Kensi allowed the Golds to guide her and Marty around the store, explaining features and metals and designs. She felt a little overwhelmed._

 _Having grown up a tomboy, by the time she had any interest in girly things like jewellery and fashion, her mother had been gone from her life. And then her father had died and she had had some dark years before starting college._

" _Do you know what you are looking for?" Mr. Gold asked._

" _Uh…" She glanced at Marty. He looked about as lost as she felt._

" _Something…round?" He suggested jokingly._

 _She tried to shoot her fiancé a playful glare, but he smirked at her, clearly proud of himself. She couldn't help but smile back._

" _Don't push them," Mrs. Gold stepped in, playfully shooing her husband back. "Come here, dear," she said to Kensi, reaching for her left hand._

 _She took a moment to consider Kensi's engagement ring. "It's beautiful," she told Kensi. "He did good."_

 _Kensi smiled. "He did."_

 _Beside her, she felt Marty relax. He smirked again. "I did good," he said, playfully bumping her shoulder._

 _Kensi leaned into him._

" _Are you looking for a match to this band?" Mrs. Gold asked._

 _Kensi stared down at her ring and then at her fiancé. He shrugged._

 _She looked back to Mrs. Gold. "Maybe the same colour?" She glances at Marty again. He nodded._

" _Alright, so probably something in white gold. How about the style?"_

 _Kensi stared back down at her ring again. "I like that it's simple."_

 _Marty settled his hand on her lower back as he, too, stared down at her ring._

 _She leaned into his comforting warmth._

" _So, you're not looking for a braided pattern? Or stones imbedded along the band?"_

 _Kensi looked to Marty, who shook his head. She turned back to Mrs. Gold. "No. But maybe something…" She trailed off and met Marty's eyes again._

 _He nodded in understanding and turned back to Mrs. Gold. "Simple. Not fancy, but also not plain."_

 _Mrs. Gold smiled at the two of them. "So nice having a beautiful couple on the same page."_

 _She led them to a counter to the left and pulled out a tray of rings._

" _How about something like this?" She held up a wedding band. It was white gold and shiny, and while it wasn't patterned or imbedded with stones, the outside of the band was raised, with a ledged diagonal line on one side._

 _Kensi took the small ring and held it up for inspection. She nodded and passed it to Marty. "I like it."_

 _He held it up as well. "Me, too."_

 _Mrs. Gold passed Kensi the matching band. This one was about one and a half times as wide. She held it up, watching as it reflected the light from above. She smiled as she imagined it on her soon-to-be husband's finger._

 _Marty smiled at her. "Okay?"_

 _She nodded. "Perfect."_

00

She closes her fist around the ring now, wishing so much that she was wearing her matching band.

The last item in the bag is Marty's watch. She pulls it out and frowns. The band is damp and stained in blood. Her chest hitches, but she forces oxygen into her lungs.

And suddenly she is angry. Because they do not deserve this. Her husband is a good cop, and a damn good person. They both made choices that put them in harm's way on a regular basis, but they deserve to feel safe when they're not in the field.

"When you catch the guys who did this, I want to have a little chat with them," she says to Bates.

He takes a breath. "I'm sure you do. And I'm sure that can be arranged."

Kensi takes care to tuck her husband's things into her bag for safe keeping. She slides the ring onto her thumb. It's loose, but it makes her feel better to have it on for now.

Her phone rings again and she sighs, knowing she can't ignore it forever. She pulls it out of her bag, not at all surprised to see it's Hetty.

She answers the call. "Hi, Hetty."

"There you are, my dear. How is Mr. Deeks?"

"He's still in surgery," she tells her boss, surprising herself at how calm she sounds.

"Any updates?"

"A nurse came out a little while ago. Said he was stable and should be out of surgery in less than an hour."

"That is good news, Kensi."

She nods to herself. "Yeah."

"Callen and Sam are on scene," Hetty continues. "According to Callen, LAPD is handing the case over."

"To us?"

"He is one of us, Kensi. Everyone is concerned and eager for him to be okay."

"Not as much as I am."

"Of course," Hetty says. "Is there anything I can do for you right now?"

"No. But thanks, Hetty."

"Alright. Do let me know when he's out of surgery?"

"I will."

Kensi ends the call and pockets her phone.

"Everything okay at work?" Bates asks.

She nods. "My boss said we've taken over the investigation."

Bates frowns and pulls out his own phone. "You'd think that would be something my detectives would share with me?" He scrolls through his phone, clearly looking for an update that isn't there.

"It may have just happened," she offers.

"Still…" He glances at her before speaking. "Deeks may be working with your team, but he's still one of my guys. I should be giving you updates, not the other way around."

Kensi spins her husband's ring around her thumb. "I don't hold it against you."

"I always did like you. Though, I thought you could have done better than Deeks," he jokes.

Kensi actually allows herself a small smile. The lieutenant has a good read and ability to navigate these situations. "Trust me, Lieutenant, there's no one better."

"Your team know about the two of you yet?"

She runs a hand through her hair and then shrugs. "Don't know. They didn't yesterday, but now…" She shrugs again. "I really don't care right now."

"I hear you."

They fall into silence again. Kensi leans her head back against the wall behind her chair and closes her eyes. It amazes her that just two days ago her biggest concern had been when to tell the team about her marriage. She had been stressing over how long they had waited, and how much longer they should wait, and what affects telling the team would have on Marty's position within the team. She had been particularly concerned with Callen's and Sam's reactions, wanting so much for Marty to be accepted like she has been. But everything has been put into perspective now.

She doesn't care if Callen and Sam have been told. And she doesn't care how they react. She only knows if they know now and don't react well they're probably going to meet a side of her they've not yet been acquainted with.

Marty is her husband. And her best friend. And her partner; both at work and in life.

He's her past, her present and, most of all, her future.

He's the person she falls asleep next to at night and wakes up with in the morning. He keeps safe her hopes and dreams. He's seen her at her very best, and at her very worst. He's laughed with her, cried with her and grieved with her. He knows and cherishes her secrets.

He's held her hand when she was sad, held her hair back when she was sick, and bought her hygiene products at that time of the month without complaint.

He wears a ring that matches hers, and stays true to the vows they had taken together so many years ago.

He loves her. And he looks at her like she's something special to him. He kisses her like she's air to him. And he holds her like he'll never let go.

00

Each time the door across the room opens, Kensi's eyes snap towards it. Four times, it's a doctor, nurse or support staff for another patient, but the fifth time it's for Marty.

A doctor steps out, chart in her hands. Her dark hair is tucked back neatly and she's wearing scrubs.

"Family of Detective Deeks?"

Kensi rises and strides towards her.

"Hi. I'm Dr. DePaul. You are family of Detective Deeks?"

Kensi nods. "I'm his wife, Kensi."

"Nice to meet you, Kensi. I'm sorry about the circumstances." She shakes Kensi's hand.

Kensi takes a breath, soothed by the surgeon's calm nature.

"You, too. How is he?"

"He's doing well," she starts. "There were two shots."

Kensi absorbs the information with a slight hitch in her breath. She hadn't known he was shot more than once.

"The first was high in the chest. Right side. Luckily, it missed his lung." She pauses to give Kensi a moment to absorb that information as well.

"The second was more central. It fractured a rib, but deflected away from his heart."

Kensi exhales slowly. She still can't quite fit a full breath into her lungs, but it's the closest she's been since getting the call from Bates that morning.

"It was a small caliber weapon. Limited damage. I expect a full recovery."

Kensi feels tears spring to her eyes, but she couldn't care less. "Thank you."

Dr. DePaul offer her a smile. "Your husband will be fine. He's being settled into a post-op room now. I'll have a nurse come and get you once he's settled. You can sit with him while the anaesthetic wears off."

She nods. "I'd really like that."

Kensi returns to her seat to wait a little longer. She relays the information to Bates.

"Glad to hear it," he tells her. He waves his phone. "I'm going to go deal with my guys. Please let me know if anything changes or you need anything."

Kensi nods. "I will. Thank you…for waiting with me."

Bates stands and offers her a smile. "He may not be working with us anymore, but he's still one of ours. That makes you both family."

00

Kensi waits almost another hour before a nurse comes to get her and take her to Marty.

"It could be a few hours for the anaesthetic to wear off," the nurse cautions as she leads Kensi through the hospital corridors. "But he's doing really well."

Kensi nods along. She's really not concerned with how quickly he wakes up right now. She just needs to see him with her own eyes and know he's still with her.

He's in a curtained room in a step down ward. She had half expected to see him intubated, but she feels another ounce of tension leave her at the sight that he is breathing on his own.

He's partially propped up by the back of the bed with a sheet up to his waist. His chest is bare, save for the heavy bandages that form a band around his abdomen and chest, and cross over his right shoulder. There are leads connected to his chest, monitoring his heartbeat. The monitor across the room shows a strong, regular rhythm.

Kensi feels tears spring to her eyes at the sight of her husband, but for the first time today, they are tears of relief and not of fear.

"Oh, Marty," she whispers, stepping to his side. "I'm so glad you're okay." She brushes her hand along his cheek, careful not to disrupt the nasal cannula hooked around his ears.

He doesn't move, but she hadn't expected him to. He continues to breath steadily in and out. His heart continues to work away in his chest. His skin is pale, but warm to the touch.

He's alive.

Kensi ducks her head to press a kiss to his forehead. Then she shifts to press her forehead to his. "I love you. So much." She inhales slowly, and then exhales just as slowly. And she's pretty sure this is her first full breath in hours.

She presses another kiss to his forehead and then stands upright. There are two chairs behind her. She drags one close and sits.

With a little finagling, she manages to release the railing on her side of the hospital bed so that it folds down. She reaches for his hand and wraps it in both of hers. She runs her thumb back and forth across the underside of his wrist. His ring – still on her thumb – catches on the hospital bracelet secured around her wrist. She feels her breath catch as she begins to lose control of her emotions.

He doesn't respond to her touch, and his hand is cooler than normal, but he is alive. And he will wake up and come home and recover. She has not lost him.

She ducks her head down, pressing her forehead to their combined hands.

And she cries.

She makes no effort to wipe away her tears as she let's out the emotions she has been holding back for hours. He's been hurt before. This is hardly the first time she has held his hand while he lays in a hospital bed. But this is by far the most serious time. It's the only time she has had to wonder if maybe he wouldn't be okay.

He's been beside her just about her entire adult life. She can't imagine having to press on and do this without him. They'd promised each other, long ago at the cusp of their law enforcement careers, that they would each be okay if something happened to the other. They wouldn't have regrets. They would cherish the time they had shared, and do their best to move forward.

She had cried when she made that promise.

Just like she's crying now.

And she knew then, just like she knows now, that that would be the hardest promise she would ever have to keep. She doesn't regret any of the choices they have made or things they have done together. But she would regret all the things they didn't get to do yet.

They talked about some epic vacation a year ago. And still, they haven't even made plans.

They talked about having kids. Like, really talked about it. In a 'when' sort of way and not an 'if' sort of way. And that's kind of amazing after so many years of her not being sure.

She wants to have a family with him. She wants to see him as a dad to their children. And she wants to be a mom. She wants to do this with him, and she _knows_ they can do it.

That would be her biggest regret. She had been so scared for so long at the thought of being a bad mother. She's finally realized she can overcome the damage her mother had done to her. If she lost Marty now, that would be her biggest regret.

She'd be able to cherish the time they'd spent together. But she'd always know too many memories were missing. Because they haven't had enough time together yet.

And there's no way in hell she would ever be able to move on from him.

He's the first man she ever loved. And there's no doubt in her mind that he will be the last and only man she ever loves.

00

Kensi spends a good hour sitting by her husband's bed side while he sleeps off the anaesthetic. She holds tight to his hand the whole time.

When her phone rings, she startles slightly, her eyes on Marty. But he doesn't even flinch at the noise.

She pulls her phone out of her pocket. She glances at the caller ID and sighs. She can't ignore her team forever.

"Callen," she greets as she answers the call.

"How's he doing?" Callen asks without any preamble.

She clears her throat. "He's okay. He's out of surgery. The doctor says he's going to be okay."

"Good." There is a pause while Callen takes a breath.

Still holding her husband's hand with her free hand, she squeezes it. He's not conscious, but if Callen has been told of their relationship and is about to say something, she's glad she's with her husband right now.

"It's never easy," he says.

She feels her brow furrow. She's not able to tell whether he knows or not. But his next words tell her for sure.

"You want me to send someone to relieve you?"

There's no way she's going anywhere. And if Callen knew who Marty was to her, he would know that.

"No," she says softly. "I'm staying here."

"Okay," he accepts without argument.

"Hetty said you guys took over the case? Any news?"

"We got video surveillance of the guys who shot Deeks from neighborhood street cameras. ID'd them as gang members. Eric's got Kaleidoscope looking for them now."

"Let me know."

"I will."

Kensi hangs up the call and sets her phone down onto the bed. "Callen and Sam ID'd the shooters," she tells Marty, knowing he's still asleep and can't actually hear her. "We'll get them soon."

She sighs and leans forward onto the side of the bed. "It's the afternoon," she announces. "You owe me a coffee," she tries to joke, but deflates quickly. "Coffee…" She mumbles. He had been shot going to get himself a coffee. In the last year, he has survived shootouts and bombs and beatings, only to almost be taken down because of a cup of coffee.

Kensi shakes her head. "We'll get through this. A few days here, maybe a week. Then you'll come home, get better. And then we'll move forward with our life."

She pauses and shifts, taking his hand in both of hers again. "You owe me a vacation, mister." She allows herself a smile at this joke. "Maybe Hawaii? Or Australia? Or Europe? South America?" There are so many places she wants to go with him and things she wants to do. She travelled a bit as a kid, but mostly from one marine base to another. He hasn't travelled much at all. It's something she's always wanted to do with him, and they're only just in the position where their jobs and finances will allow.

"And kids," she says, her voice cracking. She feels her eyes well again, but no tears fall down her face. "You are going to be the most amazing dad ever. You can teach them to surf. I'll take us all camping." She reaches to brush a hand over his cheek. "They won't know anything about guns or violence. They'll have better childhoods than either of us. They'll grow up with two parents who love them, never doubting they are loved and safe."

She smiles softly at the thought of filling the two spare bedrooms in their house, of their lives changing from a married couple to _parents_. She thinks of evenings spent at games and recitals, of weekends spent on the beach or in the woods. She thinks of her and Marty, a kid or two, Monty acting like the perfect four legged big brother. Monty…

She sighs and reaches for her phone. It's early afternoon now, and there's no way she's going home anytime soon.

Normally when she asks her mother to pick up Monty, she sends a text. But she holds her phone in her hand now and debates her options. She doesn't want to have to explain right now, but part of her really wants to hear her mother's voice. Usually she is able to stifle the voice in her head that pushes her to reach out to her mother, to depend on the woman who left her. She avoids risking her heart. But today she's emotionally raw and doesn't have the strength to fight her own demons.

She calls and her mother picks up on the third ring.

"Hi, sweetie," Julia's voice filters through the phone.

"Hi, Mom."

"Nice to hear from you. How is your day?"

Kensi stares for a moment at her still unconscious husband. Part of her wants to tell her mother, wants to come clean about their lives, wants to tell her what happened to Marty, and wants her to come be with her at the hospital. But she's so afraid her mother won't want to help her. She's so afraid her mother will make her depend on her, just to break her heart again. And she knows she can't handle rejection today. "It's fine," she says evenly. "Yours?"

"Can't complain. Did you and Marty maybe want to come over for dinner?" She asks hopefully.

She clears her throat. "Actually, we're both caught up with some things today. I was hoping you could maybe pick up Monty?"

"Of course," Julia says. She always agrees to help, a fact that is not lost on Kensi or herself. Kensi is pretty sure she is trying to make up for all the times she wasn't there. But being here now doesn't erase years of absence, and its resulting emotional trauma.

"Thanks."

"You want me to bring him back tonight or…?"

"Could you keep him overnight? I don't know when we may make it home tonight." In actual fact, Kensi knows she's going to be spending the night at the hospital.

"Alright, Kensi. No problem. Just give me a call tomorrow and let me know when you want him home."

"Thanks, Mom."

She ends the call and closes her eyes. She's glad her mother is back in her life, but it's still hard. Marty has been the supportive presence that has allowed her to slowly build something resembling a relationship again.

"I love you," she whispers to Marty when she opens her eyes. He doesn't respond.

But ten minutes later, he shifts in the bed and smacks his lips. She squeezes his hand and calls his name. He settles again, but she lets herself smile.

He's getting ready to wake up.

00

Her phone rings about an hour later. It's Callen again.

"Hey, Callen," she answers. "You find the shooters?"

"One of them," Callen answers. Kensi can hear noise on the other end of the phone and assumes he's in the car with Sam.

"And?"

"It's not good. He said they'd been hired, but doesn't know by whom."

She furrows her brow. "Hired to rob a coffee shop?"

"No. Hired to shoot Deeks."

Kensi's chest hitches at Callen's words and their implication. She drops Marty's hand and stands. They are so vulnerable where they are now, with the curtained walls of the step down ward. She stands at the entrance and stares out, her eyes looking for any threats.

"He was targeted?" She confirms.

"Looks that way."

"But…why?"

"The guy said he didn't know. I'm prone to believe him. He didn't realize how close they had been to a police station, and didn't know Deeks was a cop until he heard the news." He pauses for a moment. "He also said they had staked out the coffee shop first Tuesday of last month, but Deeks never showed."

Kensi feels her eyes close for a moment as the realization washes over her. Deeks had a scheduled meeting with Bates the first Tuesday of each month. And he always went to the coffee shop. It was his only regular routine. Other than the previous month, when the meeting had been rescheduled.

"Shit," she curses to herself. She glances back at her husband and then continues to stare out at the hospital ward. "Any progress finding the second shooter?"

"This is where it gets worse," Callen says. "Eric found him. He's sitting in the passenger seat of a grey Mustang in the parking lot of the hospital. There is at least one other guy with him."

Kensi swallows hard as she absorbs the information. "He came here to finish the job."

"Looks that way. Eric is watching him on a live feed. Neither occupant of the car is making any move right now. Sam and I are on route to intercept. You stay with Deeks. We'll let you know if anything changes."

She swears again after the call is ended. And then a few more times for effect. This is a bad situation, and she knows if more than one person arrives in the hospital to harm her husband, she will not be able to keep him safe alone. Not with the curtains, beds, equipment and a multitude of hospital staff.

She flags down a nurse and flashes her badge. She tells the nurse Mary needs to be moved immediately into a secure room. The nurse nods and tells her she will be right back.

Kensi's second move is to place a call to Bates. The Lieutenant echoes her swears, and then promises to send uniformed officers as quickly as possible.

The nurse comes back quickly with the head nurse and two orderlies. Kensi watches like a hawk as they expertly and efficiently wheel Marty's hospital bed down the hall and into a walled room right off of the step down unit.

"We will supplement security with our own security guards until the LAPD arrive," the head nurse assures her. "His surgeon has been informed and will be checking on him here, so know to expect her. Also, the nurses will continue to check on him regularly. They will all have photo ID and be prepared to show it."

Kensi nods her thanks. She stands in the doorway until the security guards arrive. They each have photo ID, and she calls their names in to Eric just to be certain. Once Eric gives her the okay, she returns to her spot at Marty's bedside. The chairs in this room are padded and more comfortable than the previous hard, plastic chairs, though she barely notices.

Callen texts her to say the immediate threat has been neutralized, but doesn't include details. He says he'll explain soon.

Marty shifts again and she reaches for his hand.

He doesn't still this time. His chest expands as he takes a deep breath, and then his brow furrows as he winces.

His eyes slowly open.

Kensi holds tight to his hand with one of hers, and reaches the other to brush along his face. "Hey, you."

His eyes close again, but his body begins to shift a little at a time, as if he is re-familiarizing himself with his limbs.

He opens his eyes again and blinks up at her. "Hi," he whispers. His voice is soft and raspy, but sounds like him.

"Hi," she echoes.

He continues to blink up at her and his lips quirk. She is pretty sure he is trying to offer her a smile, and the thought brings happy tears to her eyes. She ducks her head to press a kiss to his forehead.

Deeks smacks his lips. "You're here."

"Of course I'm here. I love you so much, Marty."

"Hmm. Love you." His eyes close and she thinks maybe she's lost him to sleep again. But his eyes open and he meets hers. "I really thought…" His chest shudders, and then he winces.

She soothes a hand through his hair. "I know. But you're okay. Doctor expects you to make a full recovery."

"Didn't want to leave you."

"You didn't," she assures. "You're not getting rid of me that easily."

He nods, and then shifts again. She releases his hand as both of his begin to move. He stretches his arms and then his back. He reaches up to swat at his own face, and tears away the nasal cannula.

Kensi frowns, but she can see his oxygen stats on the monitor are holding steady, so she says nothing.

He winces and hisses in pain a few times, but seems more comfortable when he settles.

She sits back down and runs her hand along his thigh through the blanket. He sighs, but manages a smile. He reaches towards her and takes her hand in his.

"I'm sorry."

She shakes her head. "No. This was not your fault."

"The guy was unsettled. I was trying to prevent him from doing something stupid. I didn't realize he was with the other guy."

She squeezes his hand. "That's not exactly what happened…" She proceeds to update him on the case.

He takes the information with a pensive look, but she knows he's drugged and still coming off the effects of anaesthesia. She's not sure how much he is actually comprehending.

Before they can talk further, Dr. DePaul shows up to check on him. She introduces herself to Deeks and does an exam. She asks him questions about how he is feeling, and questions about himself, to measure his mental status.

"Can you tell me your name?"

"Marty."

Dr. DePaul smiles. "Full name? And title?"

He sighs. "Martin Andrew Deeks, Detective, LAPD, and liaison to NCIS."

The doctor looks to Kensi for confirmation.

Kensi nods.

"Good." She motions towards Kensi. "And who is this?"

Deeks shifts his head to stare at Kensi, and then he shrugs. "Never seen her before."

Kensi surprises herself when she actually laughs. With the stress of the day and the current situation, it's nice to have some levity.

She reaches to run her fingers through his hair. "Want to try that again?"

He smiles at her before turning to Dr. DePaul. "Kensi Marie Deeks, wife extraordinaire. Also, Agent Kensi Blye, super agent."

Kensi laughs again and tugs gently at his hair. "Should I start introducing myself like that? Super Agent Blye?"

He's smiling when he closes his eyes. "It's how I see you."

The doctor nods and picks up her chart. "I'll let you get some rest." She glances at Kensi. "Everything looks good here."

"Thank you," Kensi says meaningfully.

00

Deeks snoozes for about twenty minutes before he's awake again.

"Still here?" He whispers.

"Not going anywhere."

He smiles. "We had plans tonight…"

She almost laughs at where his mind has gone, but she sobers quickly. She brushes her hand across his cheek. "We have a whole lifetime to make plans, Marty."

He squeezes her hand. "I'm so glad." He closes his eyes for a long moment and sighs, before opening his eyes again to meet hers. "So glad," he repeats.

"Not more glad than me." She feels her eyes well again. "I don't want to do any of this without you."

He tries to sit up and hisses in pain. She stills him with a hand high on his chest, away from the bandages. He makes a face and reaches for her with his other hand. "You don't have to. I'm here."

She accepts his hand, and then stands to lean over the bed and kiss him. She keeps it short, but feels it's still reassuring to them both.

"I love you so much," she tells him.

He carefully reaches a hand to cup her cheek. She closes her hand over his. "I love you, Kens. You're…everything."

She smiles and turns her head to kiss his palm, before settling his hand back onto the bed. "You need to rest."

"I'm good," he assures. He flips his hand over underneath hers and threads their fingers together. Then he raises their combined hands enough to stare at them. He narrows his eyes. "Is that…?"

She follows his gaze. There, still circling her thumb, is his wedding band. She gently tugs her hand from his and slips the ring off her thumb. "It was with your…personal effects that were released to me," she admits. "It made me feel better to have it close."

His eyes pinch at her words. "I'm-"

"Don't you dare say you're sorry," she cuts him off. "This was not your fault."

He scrunches his nose slightly, proving to her that she was correct in knowing what he was about to say.

She holds out the ring, smiling when he raises his left hand. She slides the band over the tip of his ring finger and down the finger, but as it nears its usual home, he frowns.

He stretches out his fingers and then bends them, and then stretches them again. He reaches for his left hand with his right, twisting the ring around his finger. "It's tight," he tells her.

"Your fingers are probably a bit swollen," she says. "It may take a few days for your circulation to return to normal."

He sighs as he pulls the ring from his finger and holds it out to her. "Hold on to it for me?"

She takes the small band of metal back from him. "Of course." Instead of returning it to its previous resting place on her thumb, she reaches for the chain around her neck, wanting a more secure long term solution.

He watches quietly as she threads the necklace through the ring and then secures the latch behind her neck. She even tugs a few times on the chain just to test how secure it is, before tucking it under her top.

"Good?" He asks, somewhat amused at the process.

She nods. "Good. You good?"

"I'm as good as I could be right now."

"I'm glad." She's breathing much easier now. He's injured, yes, but he's stable and awake. He has a recovery ahead of them, but things could have been _so_ much worse.

"Not looking forward to being stuck here for a while, though."

"Hospitals aren't fun," she agrees. "But I'll be here."

He smiles at her.

"Bates will be by later as well," she tells him. "He was here earlier, waited with me. Last I talked to him, he said he'd be by later, probably tomorrow."

Deeks nods and glances at the clock on the wall across the room. He stares at it for a long moment before turning back to her. "Did Callen and Sam catch the other shooter yet?"

She settles back into her chair, impressed that he absorbed that much information from their prior talk. He had been much less with it even just an hour earlier. "Working on it." She drops his hand to reach for her phone. No missed calls or texts. "Nothing from them yet. We should have an update soon."

"We have an update now," Callen announces as he steps into the room, Sam behind him.

"Hospital is secure," Sam adds as the senior partners come to stand at the foot of the hospital bed. "At least for now."

Callen nods. "We took down two would be shooters in the parking lot." He passes Deeks his phone. "Either of these guys look familiar?"

Deeks takes the phone and then shakes his head. He passes the phone to Kensi. She takes a good look at the possible shooters and then also shakes her head before passing the phone back to Callen. "They're not familiar to me, either."

"Eric's running them, but so far they're not coming up related to any cases you've been involved in," Callen says, addressing Deeks, "Either with us, LAPD or the Public Defender's Office."

"Okay."

"Kensi bring you up to speed?"

Deeks nods. "Apparently these guys were hired to take me down. And it must be something bad enough that they would come to the hospital in broad daylight to finish the job."

"LAPD has got officers on site now. We're confident you're not in imminent danger."

"LAPD is putting together a list of possible suspects," Sam adds. "Eric and Nell are doing the same thing for us, but you've only been with us six months. LAPD's going to have a longer list."

Kensi nodded along, agreeing to the information being shared. Her husband is a good cop. And good cops tend to make enemies among bad guys. It's why they both lived so carefully. They didn't follow routines. Their friends didn't know what they really did. Hell, her mother didn't even get to know what she did for a living.

"We'll get the list to you as soon as possible. You and Kensi can go through it," Callen continues, sending a nod towards Kensi. She nods back in agreement.

"Sounds good," Deeks answers.

"Good," Callen says with a sigh. "And now that the case part is out of the way, how are you feeling?"

Deeks manages a small shrug and a smirk. "Like I got shot."

Kensi rolls her eyes, but it doesn't escape her attention that both Callen and Sam chuckle.

"In all seriousness, we're glad you're okay," Sam says. "This could have been a lot worse."

Deeks nods. "Yeah, I get that."

"And it should never have happened," Sam adds. "They knew to expect you at that coffee shop because you have a meeting with Bates the first Tuesday of every month."

"Hey!" Kensi calls sharply. "This was not his fault. We all knew about those meetings and none of us saw the vulnerability-"

Sam held up his hand, cutting her off. "I'm not saying Deeks is at fault," he addressed her before turning his attention back to Deeks. "I'm not saying this is your fault. I'm saying it's an operational vulnerability that none of us caught. And with this team's history, we should have."

It's not exactly an apology, but all of a sudden Kensi gets the impression Sam feels guilty and any anger she had felt falls away. The senior field agent is unnecessarily abrasive with Deeks at times. He is regularly inconsistent in how he talks to Deeks, acts around Deeks and treats Deeks. But he is also fiercely protective of anyone he considers part of his team. And he is showing that protectiveness now for Deeks.

She can never fully take off the wife-goggles, but if she looks at the situation as objectively as possible she could see it as a senior agent who is used to training new agents who look up to him, or working with seasoned agents like himself. He's suddenly been thrown in to work with a cop, whose background and training he cannot relate to, and whose methods are different than his. Sam doesn't like change.

But he protects his team. And he is looking at Deeks now like he is part of his team. In all her irritation recently, she hadn't noticed that until now.

Kensi swallows hard as she watches her husband interact with the team who have come to be like family to her.

"We're all glad you're okay," Callen repeats.

"Thank you," Deeks says seriously. "And I am okay. I'll be back to kicking ass and taking names in no time."

"Then you're going to need this." Sam hands over a small secured bag. Kensi recognizes it and knows it holds a spare handgun.

Deeks takes the bag and unzips it. He seems to breathe a sigh of relief when he pulls out the gun. "Thank you."

"We're going to get that list of suspects to you as soon as possible," Callen says. "But in the mean time, any idea who may want you dead?"

"Well, we're not doing our job right if a few people don't want us dead, right?"

Kensi huffs at his words.

But, again, both Callen and Sam crack smiles.

"Any names come to mind?"

He thinks for a moment and then shakes his head. "No. I've been with you guys six months, and nothing stands out. My last undercover ended with everyone dead."

Kensi nods along with Callen and Sam, recalling the car bomb that had taken out Deeks's original mark, and the resulting firefight which had taken out the international human trafficker, Lasik.

"And the undercover before that ended with you guys arresting all the remaining marines at the MMA gym. They'd be way more pissed at NCIS than me."

"Fair enough. What about your personal life? Any angry ex-girlfriends we should know about?"

Kensi fights to keep a straight face.

Deeks shrugs and sends a smirk towards Callen and Sam. "I'm far too much of a charmer for any woman to stay mad at me long."

Kensi almost chokes on her reaction. She ends up laughing out loud, but not as loudly as she could have.

Both Callen and Sam roll their eyes in good humour.

"Think about it," Sam tells him. "Get Kensi to relay to us if you think of anyone."

"Of course."

Callen and Sam leave quickly, off to continue their work on the case.

Kensi watches as her husband handles the spare handgun he has been given, testing the grip and checking that it's loaded.

"You good?"

He nods. "Better now."

"I'll protect you, you know?" She jokes.

He looks up and smiles at her. "I know. But I need to feel like I can, too."

"Protect yourself?" After the morning he has had, it's not unexpected he wants to feel secure.

"And you," he adds. "If someone does come after me here, I don't want you facing them alone."

She reaches for his hand and prises it away from the gun. "We're a team," she agrees.

He blinks heavily and smiles at her. "An awesome team."

She nods and reaches to run her fingers through his hair. His eyes close completely, but no matter how many times she runs her fingers through his blond curls, she can't make the tense lines disappear from his forehead. "What are you thinking?" She asks quietly.

He blinks twice before his gaze steadies and lands on her. She knows he's getting tired and needs to rest. But she wants his sleep to be as restful as possible.

"I'm wondering if my dad could be involved," he admits quietly.

Her fingers still as she absorbs his words. "I didn't think of that," she admits. She takes a breath as she considers his thoughts. "It's been more than twenty years, Marty."

"I know. But he did lay there screaming that he was going to ' _fucking kill me_ ' so there's that."

Not being able to stand the pain in his eyes, she stands and ducks her head to press a kiss to his head and then his lips. "You deserved so much better, Marty."

He stares at her for a long moment. "I'd go through it all again if it meant I still got you."

She feels tears spring to her eyes, and after the stress of the day she's in no condition to fight them off. "Marty…"

He reaches a surprisingly steady hand to cup her face and brushes her tears from her cheeks with his thumb. "No tears," he whispers. "You know what you crying does to me."

She half laughs and half cries. "It's your fault when you say things like that to me."

"I mean it," he says earnestly.

She feels her eyes sting again and blinks hard. "I promise you, Marty, that everything I've done for you, you've done for me. I'm so lucky to have you in my life. And I'm so damn grateful. If I had lost you-"

"You didn't," he cuts her off gently. "You didn't lose me, Kens. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here."

She swallows hard and nods. "I was scared," she admits.

He exhales slowly. "Me, too."

She moves forward, wanting so much to hug him, but knowing he can't handle the pressure against his chest right now. Instead, she pressed her forehead to his and breathes.

They stay that way for several long moments, sharing air as they think back to shared memories together. When he forehead becomes heavy against hers, she pulls away and presses a kiss to the crown of his head. "You need to get some sleep," she whispers.

He blinks but manages to keep his eyes on hers.

She smiles at him. "You're exhausted, and you need your rest to get better."

"You'll be here?"

"I'll be here."

He blinks heavily a few times before his eyes close and don't open again. She watches as his breathing evens out. His chest moves up and down in a comforting and familiar rhythm.

She watches him sleep for several long minutes. The monitors still show good, strong numbers on all counts. His colour is getting better. And he's warm to the touch.

She sniffs slightly as she takes it all in. It has been a long day, and the fear that someone is after her husband is eating away at her. But right now he is safe and they are together. She trusts their team to do everything they can to catch the responsible party and she trusts the LAPD to keep up security in the mean time.

Standing, she walks to the door to check and make sure the LAPD officers are still there. Two uniformed officers remain standing by the door, and at least one is visible down the hall. She turns and shuffles back to the bed, pausing by the hospital tray table tucked to the side of the room. The hospital staff had brought in a light meal for Marty an hour ago, but he hadn't been up to eating. She glances at it now, and then Marty, and then back to the tray.

And then she swipes the jello cup.

She tucks herself back into the chair at her husband's bedside, smiling down at her snack. What Marty doesn't know won't hurt him.

00

 _ **AN: For curiosity's sake, who do you think will find out first?**_


	41. Personal - Part II

_**AN: Really did not mean to leave you hanging there… Unfortunately, I had a bit of an accident and ended up with a concussion.**_ __ _ **Was out of commission for several weeks. And trust me, you didn't want me trying to tackle these chapters with a compromised brain. (Seriously, I spent more time than I want to admit trying to figure out how it was possible that 'nonsensical' is a word, but 'sensical' is not.) I'm thinking it would not have made much sense. That being said, if when you're reading this chapter something jumps out at you as not making sense, please bring it to my attention and I will fix it. Thanks.**_

 _ **Also, thanks for the wonderful response from the last chapter. I enjoyed everyone's thoughts on who you think will find out next. Just to be clear – Hetty already knows. Also, Renko knows – we found this out in chapter 22 (Well, we found out that he knows Kensi is married. Renko and Deeks never actually met.)**_

00

Episode 2.17 – Personal. Part II.

Eric gets out of his car and looks over at the sound of another car engine running. He waves as he recognizes Kensi pulling into her normal spot. She waves back. He pauses, happy to wait for her out in the warmth of the California weather. Even in the beginning of February, it's warmer outside than up in Ops. His feet freeze on a daily basis and he's seriously considering trading in his sandals for actual shoes at work.

He isn't concerned when Kensi lifts her cell phone to her ear instead of getting out of her car. But he frowns when her expression grows dark. He begins to step forward, wanting to know if she is okay, but she throws her phone down. And then her car squeals out of the parking space and races back onto the road.

He watches as the car disappears down the road and then reaches for his own phone. He hasn't missed any important calls or texts. With a scowl, he turns and heads into the office.

He's worried about Kensi. Normally Hetty would be his first stop for information. He knows not to expect actual information from her, but it's still where he would try first. Hetty is at her desk, but on the phone. And Eric knows better than to interrupt her when she's on the phone. He's learned that lesson; more than once.

He passes by Callen and Sam, who are at their desks, in the middle of a heated argument about the possibility of working a case in outer space.

Not wanting to interrupt, he doesn't stop. He's also pretty sure they're not actually planning to work a case in outer space. But they do all work for Hetty, so he's leaving his thoughts on the matter at pretty sure.

He makes his way up the stairs and into Ops. As usual these days, his new partner in crime (fighting) is already there.

"Morning, Eric," Nell greets, chipper as ever.

"Morning, Nell," he echoes with a half-smile. He thinks he likes Nell. She's smart and pretty and good at this job, but she's also aggressive and a little high strung. After having Ops basically to himself for so long, he's still adjusting. And they're both still feeling each other out.

"Anything come up yet today?" He asks, his mind still on Kensi's strange behaviour in the parking lot.

"Nope," she says. Then she frowns. "Why?"

He clears his throat and looks away, knowing she is already suspicious. "Just wondering."

She stares at him with narrowed eyes and he feels like she can see right through him. He tries to ignore her gaze as he makes himself comfortable at his desk and logs into his workstation. He can already tell it's going to be a long day.

00

Deeks feels himself slowly float into consciousness. His body feels heavy and his mind groggy, but he feels better each time he awakens.

The sight that greets him doesn't surprise him.

His wife is sitting in the chair beside his hospital bed, cross-legged, with her hair pulled back into a ponytail. She looks tired and stressed, but more settled than the last time he had been awake.

She's also making quick work of a jello cup. He watches silently as she scrapes the edges of the mostly empty cup with the plastic spoon, making sure to get every last bit of wobbly green 'food.' Then he frowns as he realizes what she's doing.

"Are you eating my food?" He asks, his voice rough from sleep.

She winces and makes a face at being caught. "Uh…"

He clears his throat, wincing again at the pain. "Are you stealing food from your injured and vulnerable husband?" He pushes while biting back a smile.

Kensi huffs and reaches to her left to place the empty cup down onto a tray table next to a second equally empty and scraped clean jello cup.

He fake gasps. "You stole _two_ of my jello cups?"

"First of all, you hate jello," she points out. "It creeps you out that it moves like that." She lifts her hand and shakes it back and forth to imitate the movement of jello.

"Oh, right, there's that…"

"Second, I am freaking starving," she adds. "Because someone was supposed to bring me coffee and lunch after his meeting…"

"Not entirely my fault." He banters easily.

"And third, I only stole the first jello cup from you. One of the nurses took pity on me and brought me the second one."

"Well, I guess that makes it better."

She smiles warmly at him. "How are you feeling?"

He takes a moment to shift his weight and take stock of his body. "Little clearer, I guess. But still a lot of pain. How long was I asleep?"

"Little over an hour."

"Any update?"

"Yeah. Eric tracked down a phone number who had called both shooters from a burn phone. He can't track the phone, but Callen called and got the guy on the other end to talk. It definitely seems like he's the one who paid the gang members to shoot you. They set up a meet for three this afternoon."

Deeks feels his brow furrow and tries to sit up. He immediately winces as sharp pain floods his chest and abdomen. He gasps as he falls back against the mattress, having only ever lifted himself a couple inches.

Kensi is there in a heartbeat. Her fingers sift soothingly through his hair as she murmurs nonsensical words to him. Rather, she's probably saying genuine things, but his pain addled brain isn't able to process it.

When the spots in his vision clear, he realizes he has been gripping her forearm with both his hands.

"Sorry," he murmurs, loosening his grip.

"No apologies today," she tells him seriously. "I am here to hold your hand and do whatever you need from me."

"Like eat the creepy jello for me?"

She smiles affectionately at him. "Exactly."

He manages a deep breath and then exhales slowly.

"Here, let's try that again."

He's about to ask what she is referring to when the back of the bed begins to rise slowly, putting him into a sitting position in a much less painful way than he had attempted on his own.

"Tell me when."

He waits until he is more or less upright before asking her to stop. Then he takes a moment to settle.

"Better?"

He nods and reaches for her. She takes his offered hand and allows him to tug her closer with almost no effort. She ducks down and kisses him.

"I love you," he tells her.

"Oh, Marty." She pulls back far enough to meet his eyes and runs a hand over his stubbled cheek. "I love you. So much. I was so scared today. But you're okay." Her hand lifts from his cheek and runs through his hair. "You're okay."

"I'm okay," he assures.

Her eyes are moist and he _hates_ that she's on the verge of tears. He hates even more that he can't just wrap her into his arms. He hates when she cries, but there's nothing that makes him feel more powerful than being able to offer her comfort.

He knows he can't shift his weight over without help, but there's plenty of space between his hips and the edge of the bed. He tugs her closer. Her eyes flash and she clearly knows what he wants her to do.

"Marty-"

"You won't hurt me," he cuts her off. "Just sit. Just…for a minute. Please."

She stares him down for a long moment before sighing and very carefully settling her weight down onto the mattress beside his hips so she is sitting with her left hip touching his left hip, facing him.

He offers her a smile once she is settled. "See? No problem."

"For a few minutes," she agrees.

He holds out his hands, and feels warmth spread through his chest when she immediately places both of her hands in his. Her gaze is even with his, but her eyes are still shadowed and haunted with the 'could have beens' of the morning.

"We're going to be okay," he assures, knowing as he's saying the words that he's speaking to them both. He had been terrified that morning. Terrified of dying. Terrified of leaving her. Terrified of losing out on the rest of their life together.

She offers him a brave smile, and he's relieved to see a hint of light return to her eyes. She had clearly been terrified, too.

"We'll take down whoever is out there and get through this," she adds, squeezing his hands.

"And then we'll move on with our life."

She nods. "You are going to get better. And then we'll move on together," she confirms.

"I don't like the idea of Callen and Sam having to go to this meet for me," he tells her.

She cocks her head ever so slightly and stares at him. Then shakes her head. "Oh, Marty." She squeezes his hands again. "This is part of being on a team." She gives him a moment to let that sink in. "You trust your team to have your back. And you _let_ them have your back. They'd be doing the same thing if it was me. And you and I would be doing the same thing if it was either of them."

"A team," he echoes, letting his mind churn over her words.

She nods. "I know I've been mad at them." She makes a face. "But the way they acted today… They see you as part of the team. Nothing less."

Deeks exhales slowly as the meaning of her words truly sink in. He closes his eyes for a long moment as he lets the information absorb. When he opens his eyes again, Kensi is still there, staring at him with understanding in her eyes. He offers her a soft smile.

She reaches for him again, running her fingers through his hair. He wants to respond to her, but his eyes close again.

"Sleep, Marty," she murmurs. "I'll be here."

00

When Deeks wakes again, he knows he can't have been out long. This time he doesn't wake on his own, and he doesn't wake to gentle silence with only his wife in the room.

He wakes to voices, which become clearer as he gets closer to consciousness.

One is warm and familiar. Kensi's tone he will recognize always.

The other is newer and much less effortlessly recognizable. Female, also. Higher pitched and faster. A little eager. A little familiar. His mind reaches, knowing he knows…

He cracks open his eyes.

 _Nell._

Kensi and Nell are standing near the hospital room door speaking together. Kensi is holding a clipboard.

He's still sitting mostly upright against the back of the bed. Kensi had soothed him into sleep with her fingers in his hair. He hadn't even noticed when she had slipped away from his side.

She catches him waking now and turns from Nell to face him. "How are you feeling?"

He blinks a few times and then manages a nod. "Okay." He clears his throat. "The meet?" He asks, suddenly anxious. "Has it happened?"

Kensi shakes her head. "Not yet. You've only been out about half an hour."

"Probably still sleeping off the anaesthesia," Nell offers. She turns to Deeks and smiles. "I'm really glad you're okay. We were all very worried."

"Thanks," he tells her.

Kensi holds up the clipboard. "Nell and Eric have finished compiling a list of possible suspects for us to go over."

"Sounds fun," he says dryly.

"Anything else?" Kensi asks Nell.

"Uh, yeah." The analyst pulls her phone from her pocket. "I have the recording from the phone call Callen had with the suspect earlier. Callen and Sam want you to listen to it and see if you recognize the voice."

Deeks nods and exchanges a look with his wife as Nell shifts her focus down to her phone. She pulls up the audio app and then the phone call begins to play.

The call is relatively short and nothing jumps out at Deeks. He recognizes Callen's voice but does not recognize the accented voice on the other line. He has no further information for having listened to the call, but it gives him chills simply for knowing this man paid someone to shoot him that morning.

He's always known the risks of being a cop. And he knows he's made some enemies, but the anonymity of it all is affecting him more than he would have expected.

"I don't recognize that voice at all," he says when the recording stops.

Kensi is pacing back and forth, her hand on the back of her neck, looking agitated.

"You got something?" He asks her. He knows his wife, and this behaviour is more than just stress over knowing she's listening to the man that tried to have her husband killed.

"I don't recognize the voice, but the accent…" She trails off.

"I'm pretty sure it's Eastern European," Nell speaks up. "Maybe Russian."

The analyst stares at Deeks as if this new information will prompt him into giving her a name that she can pass onto the team. He shakes his head. "The only Eastern European with reason to hate me would be Lasik, but he's dead."

"No one else?"

"No one with an accent like that." He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. Behind Nell, Kensi is standing with her arms crossed over her chest. She still looks agitated, but now he thinks she's just stressed because she can't control what's happening. They haven't really talked about it, but they both know he will be in danger until they figure this out. "Most of the guys I dealt with as a lawyer and as a cop who have reason to hate me are in jail and don't have the means to pay anyone anything. And in a lot of my undercover work I got arrested at the end, too, so the bad guys never knew who I really was." He had learned the value of keeping his cover past the takedown early in his undercover career.

He motions towards the clipboard Kensi has placed onto the tray table. "I'll go over your list, but I'm telling you the short list is going to be really short."

"Who?" Kensi prompts. "Top of your head. Who can you think of right now?"

"Michael Thompson. Big drug bust. Probably has money hidden that even he doesn't know about." He pauses for a moment. "Ivan Lee. Lots of blood on his hands already." He pauses again and meets Kensi's eyes for a moment. Between them, Nell is making notes. Kensi meets his gaze evenly and offers him a supportive smile.

"Anyone else?" Nell asks. She looks up from her notepad, and then looks between Kensi and Deeks. "Detective?"

Deeks clears his throat and pulls his gaze from Kensi. "Gordon John Brandel."

Nell's posture stiffens, and Deeks knows immediately that the name is not new to her. He wonders if he will find his father's name on the list.

Kensi releases a slow breath and runs her and through her hair, still agitated. She starts pacing again.

Nell's focus, however, stays on Deeks. "Uh, do you know anything about Mr. Brandel's whereabouts?"

Deeks frowns at the unexpected question. "No," he says, more sharply than he means to. He hasn't seen, heard from or looked for his father in more than twenty years.

"What, uh, what made you put him on your short list?"

"I shot him," Deeks tells her. "And he swore he was going to _fucking kill me_." He lifts his hands to make little air quotes.

Nell pauses, and Deeks is pretty sure she's going to push for more information.

But Kensi gets there first.

"Get those names back to Ops," Kensi cuts in, addressing Nell. "We'll go over the rest of the list."

Nell doesn't argue and quickly excuses herself, leaving Kensi and Deeks alone.

Kensi runs both hands through her hair, and pauses for a moment with her hands on either side of her head. Then she shakes her head with a sigh. "This isn't happening," she says. "It's not…"

"It could be," he whispers. He feels a sudden pain in his chest that has nothing to do with his injuries. It's a familiar pain; one that had plagued his childhood and early adult years. After he met Kensi, many things had changed. The pain he felt faded and was replaced with happiness, the rejection with acceptance, and the bleakness with joy.

She moves towards him, saying nothing. He tracks her, equally silent, as she makes her way to his side and then carefully settles herself down beside his hip like before. When she's satisfied he's not in any (more) pain, she reaches for his hands.

Deeks smiles softly at the sight of his wife mirroring his earlier move. He mirrors hers as he places his hands in hers.

"We are going to get through this," she starts.

He squeezes her hands, but suddenly his throat is tight and he's afraid to try to form words. Where he had earlier been the one to voice these words, he finds himself mute now, needing her strength.

"Someone is trying to hurt us," she continues.

He manages to swallow hard. "Well, me."

She shakes her head. " _Us_. We are a team, Marty. If someone hurts you, that means they hurt me, too. And that means they are hurting _us_." She shakes her head. "But _we_ are stronger than anyone out there trying to hurt us. And we are going to get through this. Together. We will find out who did this, and we will deal with them. No matter who it is."

"Even if it's my dad?" He asks quietly.

She nods. "Even then."

He inhales a shuddery breath and then slowly releases it. "I wish I could escape him."

"You have," she points out softly. "You got away from him. You are better than him. You won, Marty."

The pain in his chest levels, but isn't gone. He grips almost desperately to his wife's hands. "It doesn't always feel like I won."

She runs her hands up his forearm and grips at his elbows. "I really wish I could hug you right now," she whispers.

He releases an almost laughing breath. His eyes have long since welled with tears and he feels his cheeks dampen.

She huffs and reaches up to brush the few stray tears from his cheeks. He lets her fuss over him without complaint. There had been a time when he had been embarrassed by his family, his memories and his leftover emotions. But he's not anymore; not in front of her. She has held his hand and dried his tears before. It's been years since his last nightmare, but she'd been right there beside him for more nightmares than he can count now when they were younger.

"Kens, if I could manage anything resembling a hug right now I'm pretty sure I'd hold you and never let go."

She blinks and her own eyes well with extra moisture. "Soon," she promises.

He closes his eyes as she re-takes his hands. Her nimble fingers run along his own, and then thread their way between them.

"You're a good man, Marty Deeks," she says softly. "You're nothing like your father was. You're kind, Marty." She squeezes his hands. "In over a decade together, you've been nothing but amazing. I've never had any reason to fear you."

His eyes snap open at that. "Never," he whispers fiercely. He watched his mother take abuse, and even justify the behaviour. He had vowed to never be _that_ guy. And now, looking at the woman he has loved for a decade, he feels even more disgusted by his father's behaviour. Because he can't imagine treating her any different than he does. "I would never hurt you."

"I know." Her eyes are even and assured as they meet his. There isn't even a whisper of doubt. "Because you're _you_ , Marty. No matter all the shitty things he did to you, he didn't break you. You escaped him already. You got away. You became this amazing person he could never aspire to be."

His throat is tight again, but he nods and manages a quiet, but open, "Thank you."

She smiles softly at him. "Happy to remind you as often as you need."

00

 _Deeks looked up at the sound of a familiar knock at the door, but didn't bother getting up. Kensi was getting more and more comfortable coming to his apartment, but wasn't quite at the point of letting herself in unannounced. She always knocked twice before swinging open the door._

 _On cue, the door opened and his girlfriend appeared. She was wearing jeans and a long sleeved shirt. Her hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail._

" _How did it go?" He asked._

 _She smiled and made her way towards him at the kitchen table. He'd been studying. She ducked down beside him for a quick kiss before collapsing onto the chair across from him._

" _It went well," she said. "First couple rounds were kind of embarrassing. It's been a while since I've been out. But I got it together."_

" _I'm sure you were still the best one there."_

 _She rolled her eyes in good nature. "Hardly." Then she shrugged. "But one day…"_

" _That's my girl," he quipped, loving her competitive streak._

 _She laughed and then scrunched her nose. "You know; most boys would probably think it's weird that I spend half a Saturday at a shooting range. Or that my dad taught me to shoot."_

 _He sat back against the chair, effectively deciding he was done studying. "I think it's awesome that you and your dad had such a good relationship," he told her. "And I think it's awesome that he imparted wisdom and skills and feelings and stuff."_

" _Why don't you come with me next time? I could teach you…" Her words fell away as her eyes narrowed, clearly reading from his expression that she was missing something._

 _Deeks stared at her for a long moment before making a decision. Then he closed the textbook laying on the table in front of him and pushed it off to the side._

" _My dad didn't exactly leave me with good memories or feelings," he told her. "Especially about guns."_

 _Her mouth opened slightly, but she said nothing._

" _In fact," he continued, "He left me with some pretty bad memories. One in particular that's…" He trailed off and ran a hand through his hair. He didn't know how to tell her what she deserved to know about his past._

" _We don't have to talk about it," she said quietly._

" _Yeah, we do." He didn't want to talk about it, but he knew he had to. He and Kensi were moving forward towards something really real, and she deserved to know exactly what she was getting into._

" _Whatever it is, Marty, I'm here…"_

" _Just wait until you hear what I have to say before you go saying something like that." He didn't mean for his words to sound bitter, but they left that kind of taste in his mouth. He hated being defined by his past and his parents' failings. He hated how hard it was to let someone in; how hard it was to trust. And he hated that he still jolted awake in fear some nights._

 _His eyes fell on the extraordinary woman sitting across the table from him as he realized how few nightmares he had had since she started sleeping next to him._

 _Kensi glared back at him. Her dark eyes flashed with something resembling anger. "Why does that sound suspiciously like you're giving me an out, here?"_

 _He couldn't help the hint of a smile that came to his lips at her attitude. She may be young, but she was fierce and determined. She didn't back down, and she didn't accept failure. "Because I am."_

 _She shook her head. "I'm not looking for an out."_

" _Not now, but-"_

" _You're an idiot," she told him, cutting him off. "There isn't anything you could say to me right now that would make me want an out."_

 _He knew better than to argue with her. Instead he pressed forward. "You know my dad wasn't exactly dad of the year material."_

 _She nodded. He had made mention of a few things to her over the past several months. He just hadn't ever told her the whole story._

" _He was a drunk. And he was abusive," he said simply, though the situation and memories were anything but. "To my mom, mostly. But me, too. Especially when I got older and tried to protect my mom."_

 _Her eyes welled, but she didn't look away from him. She held his gaze evenly. It gave him the motivation to press onward._

" _He was getting worse. And then one day he pulled out a shotgun. He'd waved it around before when he was mad. But this time… This time he wasn't joking around."_

 _Kensi was still meeting his eyes, despite the shocked look on her face. It gave him the fortitude to keep talking._

" _He fired it once near us. My mom screamed at me to run. So I ran to my room and I…" He trailed off at the painful memory._

 _Across from him, Kensi shifted and leaned forward. She reached her hands across the table towards him. He gripped them tight with his own._

" _I got the gun my friend had given me and I took it to the living room. He was aiming the shotgun at my mom. I shot him in the chest."_

 _Kensi actually gasped in surprise at his words._

" _He was going to kill us," he said quietly. "I knew what I had to do. I-I was aiming for his head, but I missed. And he just lay there screaming at me. I remember thinking there was less blood than I expected."_

" _I'm so sorry you had to do that, Marty," she whispered._

" _Yeah, me, too."_

" _What happened…after?"_

" _The bullet missed most everything important, clipped the side of his lung. When he got out of the hospital, he went to prison. I haven't seen him since."_

 _She squeezed his hands. "And what happened to you?"_

 _He shrugged. "My mom was hysterical. She was taken to the hospital and held for a few days in the psych ward. I was in shock. Don't remember everything, but I ended up in a facility for aggressive juveniles while they waited to process me."_

 _Her jaw snapped open again. "They took you to juvie? That was self defense."_

" _I was in shock," he repeated. "I was barely talking. If anyone asked me if I shot me dad, I said yes. My social worker was probably overworked and didn't have time to dig any deeper than seeing me as a troubled kid."_

" _Then how…?"_

 _He sat up a little straighter. "My court appointed attorney was the first one to ask me_ why _I shot my dad. I told him and he must have gone on a rampage or something because I was out of the facility that evening."_

" _Your court appointed attorney," she echoed his words._

 _He nodded._

" _That's why you want to be a Public Defender."_

 _He nodded again. "He was the person who made the biggest impact possible on my life. I want to be that impact for someone."_

 _She squeezed his hands. "Thank you for telling me."_

" _You deserved to know."_

" _Have you ever looked for him?"_

 _He shook his head. "Would have gotten out of prison a few years ago. I never heard from him and I'm glad I didn't. And no, I never looked for him. He's not a person I want to know."_

" _I'm sorry you had to go through that, Marty," she told him. She squeezed his hands again._

 _He squeezed her hands back in response. "So, not taking the out?"_

 _She rolled her eyes. "Didn't even cross my mind."_

 _He felt his eyes sting, but blinked hard, not wanting to show just how affected he was. He hated revealing the dark and hidden parts of himself. And he was always afraid of the consequences. But nothing he's told her so far has made her so much as take a step back. Shooting his father was one of his darkest memories; one he both feared and was ashamed of. But Kensi was still looking at him the same as before he bared his soul._

 _She was still looking at him like he was something special to her._

 _Kensi stared at him for a long moment before squeezing his hands again._

" _You're a good person," she told him. "Your father might have been a bad person, but I know you, Marty. You're nothing like him."_

 _It wasn't the first time someone had told him he wasn't his father, but it was the first time it made a real impact. He loved the woman sitting across the table from him. And he knew she loved him back. She saw something in him no one had ever taken the time to see before. So, when she said something like that to him, he had to believe she just may be right._

00

They are a little more than halfway through the list of possible suspects when Eric calls to let them know Callen is about to meet with the suspect. Kensi relays to Eric that going through the list has not resulted in any new possible suspects.

"Eric's going to text us updates," Kensi tells Deeks as she ends the call.

Deeks nods, having heard her side of the conversation.

Kensi takes a moment to stretch her spine and then looks back down at the list. "We're more than halfway, so at least we're making progress."

Deeks shrugs. "I'm just surprised I've pissed off that many people."

She laughs. "I was thinking the list was actually kind of short," she banters with him.

He smiles back, impressed with her comeback. "Well, it is an ever-growing list," he says.

"And by the end of this, there will be one less name on the list."

"Hopefully."

She glares at him. "We're going to get this guy."

He nods. "I believe you. I just meant _hopefully_ the guy who paid the gang members to shoot me is actually on the list."

Kensi makes a face. "I hope so, too."

They get through a half dozen more names when Eric texts Kensi.

She reads the text and then frowns. "Callen and Sam are at the meet, but the guy is late."

"That doesn't sound right."

She shakes her head. "It's not. It's only ten minutes late, but still…"

"Doesn't sound right," he agrees. "You think it's a setup?"

"They have a team with them, and would have swept the outlying area… They should have found indication this was a set up. We're always so careful."

He nods, knowing from experience how vigilant the team is in these situations. Safety isn't exactly guaranteed with field work, but they take every step possible to keep the danger to a minimum.

He frowns at that.

"What?" Kensi prompts.

He shakes his head, trying to work out the thought. "The team is careful."

She nods. "Yeah."

"Like, really careful. Like, borderline excessively careful."

Kensi nods again.

He meets her eyes. "The shooters came to the hospital, but they didn't make any move to come after me. They just sat in the parking lot."

"They were probably waiting for a good time…" She trails off as she catches onto his line of thought.

"If they were waiting for a good time, they would have come at night. They were vulnerable sitting in the parking lot."

"So, you're saying...?"

"They shot me with a small caliber weapon. The first shot was a little wild, but the second…" He swallows hard as he recalls the dark expression on the shooters face. He had been calm and in control when he raised the gun towards Deeks for the second time. He had stepped forward, looked Deeks in the eye and pulled the trigger. "He took his time. He aimed. If he wanted to kill me, he would have."

"But instead he wounded you. Put you in the hospital and came here to wait in the parking lot. Why?"

"You said it yourself; the team is careful. If someone wanted to get to the team, but couldn't find the team, what would they do?"

She stares at him with wide eyes as she processes his words.

"They wait until they find a vulnerability," he tells her. "And they did. Just like Sam said, my meetings were regular and scheduled. The first Tuesday of every month. It was an operational vulnerability. And it didn't just allow them to get to me-"

"It allowed them to get to the team," Kensi finishes for him. She's already dialling Eric back on her phone.

Deeks listens as she relays their theory to Eric.

"I have to go," she tells him as she hangs up the call. "LAPD is still here, and you are safe. They are not." She stands and ducks down to his level, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "I'll call you as soon as I have news."

"Be safe," he calls after her as she leaves the room.

He lays his head back and closes his eyes, exhausted. He's been awake for close to an hour, and is still fighting the effects of the anaesthesia. His body is weak and aching. And all he wants to do is fall back into blissful sleep. Only, he needs to know the team is okay. Kensi may be convinced about this team thing, but he still doesn't like the thought of the rest of the team at a meet for him.

His eyes snap open.

If the bad guy is really targeting the team, the meet would be a perfect place for an ambush. So, why is he late?

The only other move made was the shooters sitting in the parking lot. Waiting.

But not waiting for the team; they hadn't been prepared for Callen and Sam when they had shown up.

He stares at the door his wife had hurried out only two minutes earlier as dread settles into the pit of his stomach.

The bad guys hadn't been prepared for Callen and Sam. The only other member of the team is Kensi.

If someone wanted to get to Kensi, he was the way in.

He hurriedly rips the sensors off his chest as he struggles into a sitting position. The heart monitor blares, but he ignores it. He gets to his feet, but something catches him. He turns and then yanks the IV from his arm.

The door swings open and a concerned nurse appears.

"Mr. Deeks, you need to stay in bed," she tells him.

He ignores her as he reaches into the bedside drawer unit and pulls out the gun given to him by Callen and Sam.

When he turns for the door, the nurse is heading towards him, but hesitates at the sight of the gun clutched in his hand.

"I have to go," he hears himself saying.

Walking is far more difficult than he remembers, but he forces himself onward, knowing he cannot fail.

He's breathing hard as he makes it to the end of the hospital ward. As with the nurse, many people approach him, only to shy away at the sight of the gun. The two uniformed police officers left to guard him had not been right at the door to his room. They had been standing partially down the hall, prepared to stop someone from getting to him, but not to stop him from getting out. They spot him now and start towards him.

The elevator is opening as he reaches the hallway, and he gets on. He slams his hand against the ground floor button and collapses against the wall, panting. The doors shut as the police officers rush towards him, but don't get there in time. He would have taken the stairs if he had too, but is grateful for the elevator and the easy escape from his guards.

When the doors open, he pushes off the wall with a grunt. The ground spins ever so slightly, but he ignores it and stumbles into the main atrium of the hospital.

The crowd around him parts and gasps at his presence. He knows he must look a sight; wearing only a pair of sweatpants, his chest wrapped in bandages, wielding a hand gun.

A security guard appears in his peripheral vision and moves cautiously towards him.

"Where's the main parking lot?" Deeks calls at him.

"Sir, I'm going to ask you to calm down," the guard responds.

"I'm a cop," Deeks calls back. "My partner is in danger. Now tell me where the parking lot is."

The security guard points down a hallway.

Deeks doesn't hesitate. He forces his compromised body to move forward. His wife is in danger, and he knows he's her only backup.

He cannot fail.

After what feels like a mile, the hallway gives way to a set of doors. He pushes through the door and then struggles along the edge of the building, his eyes adjusting to light.

Across the road that separates the parking lot from the hospital, he sees movement. His vision clears as his eyes finally adjusts.

And he sees his wife engaged in a struggle. She fights off two men, but he watches as a third gets out of a truck and raises a gun towards her.

Deeks doesn't hesitate. He raises his own gun and fires three shots. They all find their mark, and the would-be shooter goes down.

Kensi manages to draw her own weapon and shoot the other two guys before they can shoot her.

His vision blurs and then sharpens again. He feels his equilibrium give out and he lets himself fall, knowing his wife is safe.

He lists into the wall beside himself and then collapses to the ground. His chest and abdomen are explosive with sharp pain and heat. His head is swimming and he's pretty sure he can't get up on his own. He feels dampness and wonders absently if he's bleeding.

Footsteps sound, and the police officers he had ditched on his hospital floor appear. They stop to fuss over him, but he waves them on towards scene.

Several other people swarm around him, at least one he thinks must be a nurse. She urges him not to move. He's too tired to laugh at her, knowing he couldn't move if he wanted to. She also tells him help is on the way. He kind of likes the sound of that. He feels himself panting, and with each sharp inhalation of air, his chest screams out in pain.

It could be a minute or an hour later that Kensi appears in from of him. Her hands find his arms and squeeze, giving him some semblance of equilibrium. He opens his eyes and realizes he's actually kind of sitting upright, his legs curled under him, leaning against the wall.

"That was really stupid," she tells him.

"Had to help you… Were in danger…" He manages to mumble.

"You did good," she whispers.

He wants to ask and make sure she's okay. He wants to pull her into his arms. He wants to tell her how much he loves her. But he's exhausted. He opens his mouth but no words come out. His vision is blurring dramatically. And he's on the verge of being overwhelmed by the raw pain radiating from his chest.

"I got you," she murmurs.

Her hands find his upper arms. He closes his eyes, giving up trying to see. Blindly, but trusting, he follows her gentle urging, moving to sit so he is leaning back against the wall. He's not sure where the strength came from but he's pretty sure it has everything to do with Kensi's presence.

Once he's got his back against the wall, he feels a little more stable.

"They're bringing out a gurney," she tells him as her hands move along his chest.

"How bad?" He manages to ask.

"You're bleeding through your bandages. Hopefully you've just torn some stitches," she responds. "They'll get you inside and fixed up."

"Hmm," he murmurs. His vision is black and shapeless, and then he remembers he has closed his eyes.

He forces them open. Kensi offers him a soft smile. She's blurry, but he'd still recognize her anywhere. "You can sleep, Marty. Everyone is safe. Thanks to you."

"You're safe," he mumbles, his eyes closing again. He feels the pull of sleep and doesn't fight it.

00

When he wakes again, he's back in his hospital room.

Kensi is beside him. She's sitting cross-legged in the chair next to his bed, with her head tilted back.

She's not too far away from him. He stares for a moment before very carefully reaching a hand towards her.

She startles when his hand finds purchase on her knee, but calms immediately. She smiles at him as she lays her hand down overtop his.

"Wake you?" He asks.

She shakes her head. "Wasn't really sleeping. Just…"

"Tired?" He supplies. Her gaze is even with his, but her eyes are dulled with exhaustion and stress.

She nods. "Exhausted."

"Why don't you go home and get some rest?" He suggests. He can see only soft light coming in through the window across the room, telling him it's probably early evening.

"I'm not going anywhere," she tells him.

"Kens…"

She shakes her head. "Let me have this one, Marty. There's no way I could get any rest away from you right now."

He stares into her eyes for a long moment. She looks as exhausted as she sounds, but the tension in her eyes is vastly outweighed by determination.

"I know better than to argue with you," he says lightly.

She smiles at him. "Damn straight."

"How long have I been out?"

"A few hours." She leans forward and lifts his hand from her knee to rest on the bed beside him. She's still got her own hand wrapped around it. "You tore most of your stitches. They gave you a big dose of painkillers, so they expected you to sleep for a long time."

"Explains why I'm not in as much pain as I should be." He's definitely feeling pain, but there's a heavy, numb feeling going along with the pain.

She huffs at him. "What you did was really stupid, Marty," she chastises.

"I knew you were in trouble," he tells her. "And I knew I was your only backup." She looks like she's about to argue, so he cuts her off before she can say anything. "Let me have this one," he echoes her earlier words.

She rolls her eyes, but she's smiling. "Fine. Just don't make a habit of it."

He manages to smile back at her. "Trust me, Kens, I'm not planning on getting shot again."

"Good." She stands for a moment and ducks over him to press a kiss to his lips. She makes a face as she retakes her seat. "You really need to brush your teeth."

He laughs out loud. "I don't get a break on that for getting shot?"

She raises an eyebrow and shakes her head. "Not if you want me to kiss you."

He purses his lips and pretends to think about it. "I do like your kisses."

She smiles warmly at him and he sees a layer of stress leave her eyes. "I'll get you a toothbrush," she tells him.

"So domestic."

She scrunches her nose. "I know. Don't get used to it."

He squeezes her hand. "Trust me, Kens, I'm looking forward to a long, boring, domestic life with you."

"Long and domestic I agree to," she tells him. "But our life will never be boring, Marty."

"Never boring," he echoes his agreement.

She smiles at him.

He smiles back. "Everyone else is good?"

She nods. "Callen and Sam had the same realization you did. They showed up about two minutes after you did. Everyone is okay, and the bad guys are no longer a threat."

"Who was it?" He has to know, even if a part of him is afraid of the answer.

"Not your father," she says first.

He takes a breath and then exhales in relief. He doesn't want anything to do with his father, but the thought that he would come after Deeks in that way had affected him more than he would have thought.

"That's good."

She nods.

"So, who was it?"

"You remember the Chechen terrorist, Vakar, who hired a hit squad to kill his wife?"

He feels his brow furrow. "Mrs. Mastin?" He recalls the woman with the young son who had started a new life as a housewife. Her thought-to-be dead husband had turned out to be alive, found out he had a son, and hired a hit squad to kill her in order to get to their son.

She nods.

He shakes his head. "But, why…?"

"Because _I_ helped relocate his wife and son," she whispers.

He meets her eyes, easily recognizing guilt. "Kens…"

She sniffs and shakes her head. "He was trying to get to me, but he couldn't. So, he went for you, knowing it would draw me out."

He tugs on her hand. She comes to him easily, sitting on the side of the mattress next to his hip like before. And also like before, he holds out his hands to her, smiling when she settles her hands into his.

"This was not your fault," he tells her.

"Feels a bit like it is," she admits quietly. "He was trying to find me."

He feels a surge of protectiveness for the amazing woman he shares his life with. "If he had found you, he would have killed you," he tells her. He remembers watching the man get out of the truck and raise his gun towards Kensi before Deeks had pulled the trigger on his own weapon. There hadn't been enough time for him to feel fear for his wife, but he wonders now if the memory will haunt him. "I would take a bullet every day to stop that from happening."

She huffs. "I thought you weren't planning on getting shot again?"

He smiles. "That's the plan. But for exceptional circumstances, I'd be okay with it."

Kensi huffs again, but grips tightly to his hand.

"How about we both try really hard to stay out of danger?" He suggests.

Her eyes are just a little moist as she meets his eyes and nods. "Agreed." She squeezes his hand again. "Let's get you better and stay out of trouble in the future."

He lifts his free hand to cup her face. "I will get better," he tells her softly. "We'll move on and be okay."

She stares at him for a long moment before she nods. "I believe you."

"Good." She offers her a smile, and when she smiles in response he feels his heart swell with love for her. "I'm sorry I didn't bring you your coffee today."

She laughs out loud, causing his smile to grow. She brushes her hand through his hair. "You can owe me."

He rolls his eyes in good nature. She's worried and exhausted, but she's joking with him. He loves her so strongly that he feels happy now simply because she's smiling. He loses himself momentarily in her gaze, forgetting all his pain and worries. He doesn't think he's ever taken her presence in his life for granted, but he wonders now if he maybe took some things for granted. Like the fact that he assumed there was time for all the things they wanted to do.

He doesn't want to put things off anymore.

"Let's take our trip," he practically blurts.

She raises an eyebrow. "Right now?"

He chuckles. "Soon. Let's find out when we can get time off and make our plans now. I don't want to waste another moment."

Still gripping to his hand, she pulls it into her lap. Her free hand finds purchase on his thigh. "Agreed."

He squeezes her hand. "Let's go someplace amazing. Make some new memories."

"Good memories," she agrees. "To add to our collection of good memories."

He smiles at her reference to their first walk on the beach together so many years ago.

"We have a pretty good collection already," he says. "Better than I could ever have hoped for."

"Me, too, Marty. Me, too."

Before he can say another word, there is a knock at the door. It opens to reveal their fierce, but tiny, boss.

"Am I interrupting?" Hetty asks.

Kensi swipes at her slightly moist eyes before turning to her boss. "No, of course not, Hetty."

Hetty smiles at them both. "How are you feeling, Mr. Deeks?"

He squeezes Kensi's hand before turning his attention to his boss. "Not too bad, considering."

"Glad to hear it. We were all very worried." She moves carefully to stand to the right of his hospital bed. Deeks notices she is carrying a file.

Kensi pats his leg before sliding off the edge of the mattress to sit in the chair to the left of the bed.

"What can we do for you?" Deeks asks Hetty. Her demeanor tells him she's here for more than just checking to see how he is doing.

Hetty settles herself into a chair to his right, opposite Kensi. "Well, given the circumstances, I thought it would be appropriate to update my file on your family."

He knows exactly where she is going with this.

"Gordon John Brandel," she continues.

He shakes his head. "He's not my family." Beside him, he feels Kensi shift closer. He reaches for her hand. "Kensi is my family. Not him."

Hetty nods in understanding. "We make our own family in this life, Mr. Deeks." She nods between him and Kensi. "And you chose well."

He feels Kensi squeeze his hand.

"But I had to be sure he wouldn't be a threat after what happened when you were a child."

He puffs his cheeks and exhales slowly. "I figured you always knew."

"You figured correctly," Hetty responds.

"What happened was a long time ago."

She nods. "But when something like that happens, it tends to stick with us."

"What Marty had to do wasn't his fault," Kensi speaks up, fiercely protective as usual.

Hetty nods again. "It was self defense." She turns to Deeks. "Your father was wielding a shotgun."

Deeks feels himself exhales slowly again, needing the calm that came with the action. After the day he's had, he doesn't need another reminder of the horrors of his past.

Hetty taps her file. "He was incarcerated in Folsom State Prison. Paroled in 1996 after serving five years of a seven-year sentence."

Deeks had known where his father had been imprisoned. And he had known the sentence length. But this was the first he had ever heard about a release date. Somehow the thought of his father being in prison was easier than imagining him out and living a new life.

He turns his head towards Hetty. "You found him?"

"Yes," she says, before a long pause, "I found him."

Deeks hears the hesitation in her voice and squeezes Kensi's hand. In turn, Kensi squeezes back, telling him she too is expecting Hetty to say something unanticipated.

Hetty stands and places the folder down on his lap. It's a thin folder, but he's sure there is significant information included. "He died in 1998," she relays carefully. "Auto accident."

He exhales sharply, surprised by the news. He's even more surprised at the sense of loss he feels suddenly in his chest. He has hated his father for pretty much his entire life. He had nearly killed his father at the tender age of eleven. And he had told himself for years that he didn't care to know how he was, or to look for him.

But now that knowing him was no longer an option, he feels loss in the absence of any possible future restitution.

"Marty," Kensi whispers.

He lays his head back against the mattress and closes his eyes. He clutches tight to Kensi's hand. His mind and sense of self has been thrown off kilter at this unexpected information, but Kensi is his anchor. She squeezes his hand in response.

Hetty taps the folder once. "This is the information I have been able to find."

"Thank you," Kensi says.

There is a pause, and then Hetty speaks again. "I'm sorry to be the bearer of this news. But having discovered this information, I felt it best to share. I hope I haven't made a mistake in doing so." She pauses again. "I will leave you two alone. Mr. Deeks, take all the time you need in your recovery. And Kensi, I don't expect to see you at work tomorrow. Check in tomorrow afternoon and we'll discuss you return to work."

"I will," Kensi responds.

Deeks hears shuffling in the room and forces his eyes open. "Thank you, Hetty," he manages to say in a much more even tone than he would have thought possible.

Hetty nods and steps out of the room.

Kensi sighs and moves to sit on the bed again, beside his hip facing him. "What are you feeling right now?"

He stares into her eyes and breathes. After several inhales and exhales, he manages to shrug. "Honestly, Kens, I don't know. I didn't want to know him. But…"

She nods. "I get it." She leans forward and kisses him. "You don't need to know how you feel today." She kisses him again. "Today, you just need to focus on getting better."

He stares at her for a long moment and then smiles. "I thought I was banned from kisses until I brushed my teeth?"

She's exhausted and stressed, and feeling probably just as much emotional turmoil as he is right now, but she laughs out loud. "Exceptional circumstances," she tells him, her eyes almost sparkling and her nose scrunched.

"I'll take it."

She laughs again and leans in for one more kiss. When she pulls back, she squeezes his hands. "What do you want right now?"

He's already feeling the pull of sleep so his answer is easy. "I need to sleep," he tells her. He tugs her hand gently. "And I really want my wife beside me right now."

She cocks her head. "Marty, I'm not sure…"

"Can we try?" He asks. Her brow furrows and he's pretty sure she's going to argue against the idea. "Please?" He adds.

She rolls her eyes.

He presses his bottom lip outward for effect.

She huffs at his efforts. "We can try," she relents. "But only if you promise to let me know if you're in too much pain."

"Agreed," she says immediately.

She slides off the bed and the sits again facing the other way and carefully moves herself so she's sitting next to him, hip to hip and shoulder to shoulder, on the hospital mattress.

"Is this okay?" She asks.

His chest hurts too much to reach his arm around her, so he curls his arm through hers. She's pressed up beside him, but she's tense and still. "Almost perfect, and as soon as you relax, it will be perfect."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"You would never hurt me," he responds easily.

She shifts a bit and then stills and her body slowly begins to relax beside him.

"I love you, Marty," she whispers. "So much. I… I don't know what I would have done today if…"

He turns his head and manages to press a kiss to the side of her head. "Don't think that way. I'm here. I love you. And I'm not planning on going anywhere."

Her body relaxes further as she settles, less afraid to be touching him. "I'm going to hold you to that."

"Good."

She sighs as she relaxes even further. Her head tilts to lean against his shoulder.

Sleep is pulling at him and his eyelids are heavier with each blink. He knows there will be much to deal with in the following days and weeks – his recovery, dealing with the knowledge of his father's death, going back to work – but in this moment, his world feels secure. Kensi has been by his side for a decade. She has accepted all the bad that he has carried with him for so long, and he has long since accepted that her love for him really is unconditional.

He has no doubt that she will be by his side in the coming days and weeks. She'll support him through his recovery and help him process the news about his father.

And right now she's pressed beside him, taking comfort from the closeness just as she gives the same level of comfort back to him.

He lets his eyes fall closed and stay closed. He leans his head against hers. "Night, Kens."

"Night, Marty."

00

Eric is tired.

He'd been correct that morning when he had the sense today was going to be a long day. It's late now and he should be getting home to sleep and get ready for another day, so he doesn't really know why he's making his way through the halls of Pacific Beach Hospital.

Except, he does know why he's here.

When the team had lost Dom, he had done his best to press the emotional implications from his mind. The night the junior agent disappeared, he had stayed late at work playing video games on the big screen. He had done the same at home the night Dom had died.

After almost losing another team member, he didn't think he could sufficiently distract himself without knowing for sure that Deeks was going to be okay. Callen and Sam had relayed that the detective was awake and stable, but Eric just wanted to know that for himself. He may not be part of the field team, but he was there in the background of every assignment and every case. He feels connected to the team and their wellbeing.

When the day finally ended, he got into his car and, despite telling himself it wasn't truly necessary, drove to the hospital. In the late evening traffic, the drive was quick, and he kept telling himself he would just check in, settle his own anxieties, and then go home.

He's still telling himself the same thing as he reaches the door to Deeks's room. The door is ajar. With the threat to Deeks and the team neutralized, there is no longer any added security. He had shown his NCIS ID on the way into the ward, and now the night staff were pretty much ignoring him.

He slows as he presses open the door. He hopes Deeks is asleep, allowing himself to simply confirm he is okay, and then leave without Deeks ever knowing he was here.

The hospital room is dark save for the subtle light from the wall behind the hospital bed.

And Deeks is asleep, as Eric had hoped.

Only, he's not alone, as Eric had assumed.

He blinks twice as his eyes adjust and he realizes there is another body in the hospital bed.

He startles as he realizes he knows the second person.

Deeks and Kensi are tucked together, touching from shoulder to knees. Kensi's head is leaned against Deeks's shoulder, and Deeks's head is leaned against Kensi's. And they're holding hands. Their forearms are curled around each other's and their fingers are threaded together. They are both fast asleep.

He stares for a moment and then slowly backs out of the room.

He pulls the door mostly closed behind himself and then shakes his head. All hope he had in a quick visit to enable himself to go home and get some sleep is now gone. His mind is a whirl of thoughts as he thinks back to so many interactions between the junior agents. Eric may have his social awkwardness at times, but he's smart. He knows the body language between Kensi and Deeks support something is definitely going on between them. Kensi's behaviour in the parking lot that morning now makes complete sense.

Eric makes one more glance towards the hospital room door and then shakes his head. He's definitely not going to get much sleep tonight, and he doubts his video games are going to be able to distract him from this.

00

 _ **AN: Kensi and Deeks will get their vacation – in the summer, probably August (in line with the show). Any ideas on where they should go?**_


	42. Harm's Way

_**AN: I've had a few requests for a chapter that switches between POVs. This seemed like the best chapter to give it a try. Also, a gentle reminder that although I am using the show's storyline as a guide, there are some changes.**_

 _ **For the record, what happened with Eric in the last chapter was definitely not the 'big reveal.' That scene is coming soon.**_

 _ **Thank you to everyone who has waited between the last few updates. I'm still dealing with lingering symptoms, which significantly reduces the time I can spend at the computer. But it is getting better. That being said, if there is something obviously wrong or out of character in this chapter, please let me know.**_

00

Episode 2.18 - Harm's Way (But not really)

For the first time in a long time, Deeks has a nightmare.

Less than twenty-four hours after being shot with the emotionless shooter looking him dead in the eye, and no one would blame him for dreaming of the shooting.

But he does not dream of the pain.

He had been a child from an abusive home. He had been forced to defend himself and his mother in the worst possible way. He has childhood scars of abuse, pain, fear and neglect. The scars are fading gradually, soothed more than anything by the balm that is his wife. But the previous day had sharpened dulled memories. He had been reminded of the fear and pain inflicted by his father. Twenty years later he had feared his father for the first time in so long.

But he does not dream of the fear.

After two decades of not caring where his father was or what he was doing, he found out the man had been dead for more than half that time. He has never wanted to know the man with whom he had once shared a name, but now even the slightest hope of closure that he hadn't even known he had was shattered.

But he does not dream of that loss.

His wife had been in danger. The realization had been sudden, the adrenaline rush strong, but the entire situation relatively short lived. He had only been overtaken by desperation for the few minutes it had taken him to get to her. But those few minutes had been the most filled with desperation of his life.

He dreams of being desperate. And of being left alone; of losing _her._

He startles awake, only to gasp in pain at the sudden movement. A sharp searing sensation erupts through his chest and abdomen. His instinct is to roll into a ball, but his body is sluggish and stiff. His chest heaves with the effort, only to cause a second eruption of pain.

He groans as he gives into the pain. He can't do anything to help himself. He can't even-

The body he hadn't even realized was beside him shifts.

"Marty," is whispered into the space between them.

He can't follow the words that succeed his name. He can't make sense of what he's feeling. He just…can't.

Something brushes against his forehead and he realizes there are fingers brushing through his hair. He swallows hard and manages to press against the hand, leaning into the touch.

"It's okay, you're okay," a familiar voice is saying. "You're safe."

He manages to open his eyes and blinks up at the fuzzy vision of his wife.

"Kens…" He manages to mumble her name, not sure if he is asking her for something or just acknowledging her presence.

"I'm here," she responds.

"Safe," he mumbles as his eyes slide closed.

"Safe," she echoes. "We're safe." She may say more – she probably says more – but her words are lost in the muddled processing of his brain.

Her fingers run through his hair again. "Just sleep, Marty. I'll be here when you wake up."

He wants to reach out to her, wants to hold her and tell her he loves her. But he's sinking into oblivion, the words released in his breath instead of verbalized. He hopes she hears them.

And then he's weightless and pain free and gone from reality.

00

Eric stifles a yawn as he makes his way up the stairs to Ops. He's exhausted. The previous day was long and stressful, which he is used to in this job, but he hadn't slept well. Normally after a long day he de-stresses with some video games and then crashes. Last night, after getting home from the hospital, he had tried to distract himself from what he had seen. Despite his best attempts, his mind could not be completely focused on the screen in front of him. He couldn't get the vision of Kensi and Deeks sharing the hospital bed out of his mind.

He's liked Deeks since he joined the team. He's always liked the team, but Callen is kind of a loner, Kensi and him don't exactly have anything in common, and Sam doesn't take him seriously. The Detective is fun and he surfs, so they have something to talk about.

He just doesn't know what it means if something is going on between Deeks and Kensi. He noticed they were close and worked well together; a lot better than Callen and Sam in the beginning. He did _not_ want to go through that again. But he hadn't noticed anything to make him suspicious of… What?

What exactly had he seen? Yes, they were sharing a bed. And yes, they were holding hands. But it was a hospital bed. They weren't doing anything…intimate. Not that they could in a hospital bed. Did that mean they were doing more outside of work when they weren't in the hospital? Could it mean this was the first time they had crossed any lines? Did anyone else know?

Eric yawns as he walks through the doors into Ops, too tired to fight the yawns anymore. And too tired to fight the knowledge he had inadvertently stumbled over. Because no matter how much he tries to write off what he had seen as something else, he knows deep down there is no writing it off.

"Morning, Eric," Nell greets, chipper as always. She is already seated at her workstation.

"Morning, Nell," he says back.

She frowns slightly. "You okay?"

"Fine. Just tired. Long day yesterday."

She nods in understanding. "Hopefully it will be quieter today. I guess it can't be too active with half the team gone."

He shoots her a questioning look.

"Well, Deeks clearly won't be in for a while. And Hetty said Kensi would be off today, too. Having your partner get shot like that must be really hard."

"Mmm-hmm," he agrees absently. If Hetty knew first thing this morning that Kensi wasn't coming in then maybe she knew Kensi had spent the previous night at the hospital with Deeks. Did that mean-

"Eric?" Nell speaks up. "Are you okay?"

He stares at his new sort-of partner for a long moment. Her expression doesn't suggest she knows anything. He forces a smile to his face and shrugs. "Fine. Just hope Deeks is okay."

Nell nods. "Me, too."

00

Kensi makes a face as she makes her way down the already familiar hallway to Marty's hospital room. It's been less than a day and she's already certain she could navigate the hallway in her sleep.

And if she doesn't get strong coffee soon, she _will_ be navigating the hospital in her sleep.

She takes another gulp of the shitty, lukewarm coffee from the hospital cafeteria and makes another face. "Bleck," she mutters as she walks into Marty's hospital room.

Her husband is sitting up in the hospital bed, bandages wrapped around his torso. He looks over towards her when she enters. He had been asleep when she had left the room looking for caffeine. They're both exhausted from the previous night. He's been sleeping on and off pretty much every hour since early that morning, but he's been a little stronger each time he's been awake.

"No better than last time?" He asks.

She settles into the seat next to his bed with a huff. "I think it's actually getting worse."

He holds out his hand. "Let me try."

She rolls her eyes. "nuh-uh, this is my crappy coffee."

"I thought what's yours is mine?"

She reaches a free hand to thread her fingers through the fingers of his still-outstretched hand. "I would love to share this awful experience in horrible coffee drinking with you," she tells him, "But you are on a restricted diet right now, mister."

He squeezes her hand playfully. "Just one sip? Please?" He sticks out his lower lip for effect. "Let me share this experience in drinking horrible coffee with you."

"Marty…" She whispers when she realizes he's being serious about wanting to try the coffee.

"Come on, Kens," he prompts. "I just want something better than water and hospital juice."

"Just _one_ sip," she gives in. "And don't tell the doctor I let you have some."

"My wife, the rebel," he jokes as he takes the cup from her.

She says nothing as he takes a sip. And then she smiles when he makes a face.

"That is truly awful."

She watches him take a second sip and bites her tongue.

He makes another face.

"Yeah, it doesn't get better," she tells him.

He holds the coffee out to her and yawns. "Thank you…I think."

She copies his yawn. "I did warn you," she tells him. She yawns again.

"You did." He smiles softly at her. "But it's awful, Kens. And it's clearly not helping you feel more awake."

She shrugs as she forces down another mouthful. "It's shitty coffee or no coffee. I'll always pick the shitty coffee over no coffee."

"Yes, you will," he agrees. "But you have other options."

"The stand with better coffee by the front doors opens at 2."

"Why don't you go out and get better coffee? It'll give you a break from here and-"

"I'm not going anywhere," she cuts him off. She's exhausted and the shitty coffee is not helping. Watching him jolt awake with nightmares overnight had tugged at her heart each time.

She'd woken to his nightmares a few times in their first year of dating, which she hadn't realized at the time happened more frequently. Once they moved in together and shared a bed every night, she had quickly realized just how prevalent they were. He had been embarrassed at first, but she hadn't cared. She had just wanted to take away his pain. And over the years, it happened less and less. Before yesterday, she can't recall the last time he had a nightmare. The previous night broke her heart. She just wants to be near him now.

He cocks his head. "It's okay to get some time away, Kens," he says softly.

She feels her eyes sting, but refuses to allow herself to cry. Instead, she glares at him. "If you can't leave, I'm not going anywhere."

"Kens…"

"I don't need time away from you," she insists.

"Not time away from _me_ ," he corrects gently. "Time away from _here_."

She exhales slowly and sets her coffee down on the small table at his bedside. She's exhausted and stressed and kind of wants to cry. There are so many thoughts and so many emotions fighting for top status that she doesn't even know where to start.

"I know," he whispers before she can sort out her words. He always does know.

She meets his eyes. Hers are still burning with unshed tears – she's cried _way_ more than normal in the past twenty-four hours – and she knows he knows she's struggling. "You know?"

He nods. "It's okay to be scared," he says softly.

"You're going to be fine," she responds.

He nods. "I am going to be fine. And I know how much yesterday scared you. It scared me, too." He reaches a hand out towards her. "Yesterday sucked."

She reaches for his outstretched hand with both of hers. Yesterday had sucked on many, many levels. Marty had been shot, which was the suckiest thing. But she had spent hours waiting for him to come out of surgery and then wake up. And then she had spent another set of hours on high alert thinking someone was still trying to kill him. And then she had thought the team was in trouble, only to find out when her guard was down that she was the one in trouble. And she had been saved by her injured husband who shouldn't have had to leave his hospital bed.

And, to top it all off, the day had ended with them finding out the fate of his father.

"Yesterday sucked," she agrees.

He offers her an encouraging smile and squeezes her hands. "Today can only be better."

She rolls her eyes.

"What?"

"I'm supposed to be making you feel better, not the other way around."

"Yes, but I'm the positive one," he jokes.

She huffs playfully at him. "And what does that make me?"

He purses his lips. "The one married to the positive one."

She rolls her eyes. "Just trying to help you, here…"

He smiles at her and a beat goes by before he responds. His expression sobers before he speaks. "Trust me, Kens, you're the only reason I feel like I can cope right now."

She squeezes his hand. "We got hit with a lot of shit yesterday," she acknowledges, drawing just a hint of a smile from her husband. "What's the top of your list?"

He runs his free hand through his hair. "I really don't know right now. I feel like I can't order anything."

"I know the feeling. Let's start at the end and work our way back."

He nods, but says nothing.

"How do you feel about the news about your father?" She asks gently.

He exhales slowly. "I…don't know. I didn't ever want to see him again. And now I know I never will. I should be…" He trails off with a flick of his wrist, unable to come up with a suitable word.

"That's true," she tells him. "But then there's also the fact that he's been dead for thirteen years and you didn't know."

He nods absently. He's still looking at her, but his gaze isn't focused. "I didn't _want_ to know."

"Are you okay with that?"

His gaze travels away from her. He's looking at, but not really focussed on, the wall behind her. He breathes in and then exhales slowly. And then he does it again. And then one more time.

When he looks back at her, his eyes now focusing on hers, she cocks her head.

"Maybe?" He finally says. "But I really don't know."

"You'll let me know when you figure it out?" She prompts.

He squeezes her hand. "Of course."

She squeezes his hand in response. Then she offers him a smile. He smiles in response, both vulnerability and trust in his eyes. It tugs at her heart and she just wants to be closer to him.

She drops his hand and moves to sit on the bed, hip to hip, facing him.

His smile grows, affection filling his eyes now.

Kensi reaches her hands to run through his hair and scrapes her palm across the scruff on his cheek. "I'm sorry about your father, Marty."

He cocks his head. "Sorry that he's dead, or sorry he was an asshole?"

She releases a breathy chuckle and shrugs. "Both."

He smiles softly at her for a long moment. "I keep thinking about what you said to me yesterday," he tells her. "You've told me I'm nothing like him before, and I believe you. But yesterday you said he didn't break me."

She runs her palm along his cheek again. "He didn't break you," she echoes the earlier words. "You're too strong for that."

"He didn't break me," he echoes the words. He takes another deep breath. "He was broken, I think. And he… He was trying to break me. And he failed."

"He failed," Kensi agrees.

He cocks his head and stares at her for a long moment. Then he reaches for her hand. "I feel sorry for him," he tells her. "Because he was broken and he never got to know what it is to truly love another person. But he didn't break me."

Kensi feels her eyes well. "Marty…"

"I feel sorry for him," he repeats. "Because he never had _this_."

" _This_ is pretty awesome," she tells him.

"Really awesome."

00

Summer 2002.

 _Planning a wedding has been both easier and more difficult than Kensi expected._

 _Yes, there were a number of things they had needed to decide on, do, or at least keep in mind, that neither Kensi or Deeks had expected._

 _But, despite the number of people who had warned them of the stress, the second guessing and the 'bridezilla-like' reactions, there had been nothing of the sort._

 _They were planning a small ceremony and a small reception, both due to lack of funds and lack of family for them both. Kensi didn't care about the simplicity. She actually preferred it. The marriage was more important to her than the wedding. Though, she was looking forward to celebrating with their friends._

 _With only weeks to go, they have the final list of guests about ready to be sent off. There will be no assigned seating and no formal dinners. They have hired two food trucks to supply food for their informal beach reception, but they still need to be able to provide numbers._

 _Deeks read over the list and passed it back to her. "Looks good to me."_

 _She nodded, but hesitated for a moment._

 _He cocked his head. "What?"_

 _She put the list down and shuffled closer to him on the couch. "Is there any family you want to invite?"_

" _No," he said without hesitation. "You know about my parents."_

" _I do," she said quickly. "Of course, I do. But… what about aunts or uncles? Cousins? Grandparents?"_

 _He shrugged. "It was just my mom and dad. Now, just me."_

" _Just us," she corrected._

00

Deeks groans as he is pulled into wakefulness against his will. He blinks, somewhat encouraged that his eyes are adjusting to the light faster now than before.

He glances around the room. He is alone.

He had finally managed to convince his wife to leave the hospital. They had spent the morning talking through the previous day between bouts of napping on his part and trips for coffee on her part. During that time, she had refused to leave his side for longer than the time it took to make it to the coffee cart and back. As the morning turned into afternoon and the day dragged on, however, she began to listen to his suggestions.

She had left to head home, have a shower and pick up a change of clothes for them both. And, because the doctor had cleared him for solid food, she was picking up dinner. He couldn't quite have the burger he wanted, but she had promised him something better than creepy hospital jello.

He's not sure how long ago she left. He's also not sure what time it is now.

He reaches towards the table beside his hospital bed for his cell phone. It vibrates in his hand, reminding him why he had woken up.

He stares at the screen for a moment, his eyes only a little slow to focus on the name showing. He clears his throat and answers the call.

"Hi, Julia," he says.

"Marty," his mother-in-law greets. "So glad I caught you. I know you and Kensi are having a busy week, so I'm just checking in to see if you want me to keep Monty another night."

He blinks and then shuts his eyes, finding it easier to focus when he's not still a little overstimulated by the light in his hospital room.

He takes a beat to process Julia's words. _Monty_. It makes sense that Kensi would have called her mom to take their dog.

"Marty?" Julia prompts when he has been silent too long.

"Uh, yeah, that would be great, thank you," he says. "I think Kensi is planning to stay here again tonight."

Julia doesn't respond right away. Deeks actually pulls the phone from his ear to check and make sure it has not been disconnected.

"Stay…" Julia finally says, her voice filled with confusion, only to trail off again. "Where are you?"

"Pacific Beach Medical," he answers easily.

"You're in the hospital?!" She practically demands. "Are you okay? What happened?"

Deeks frowns. "Uh…" He trails off as the door swings open, revealing his wife. Her hair is damp and pulled back into a pony tail, but she's wearing a fresh set of clothes. She has a duffle bag hanging over the crook of her elbow, and a takeout bag in the other hand.

She smiles at him and tilts her head when she notices him on the phone.

"Marty?" Julia prompts.

At the same time, Kensi mouths, _who is it?_

"Uh, yeah," He finally says into the phone. He struggles to recall what she had asked him. "I'm okay."

"What happened?" She asks again, her voice now filled with concern.

He runs his hand through his hair, knowing he is missing something, but not quite able to put the pieces together to understand. Kensi is stepping towards him, her eyes filled with a slightly different kind of concern.

"Uh, yeah. Julia, can you hang on for a minute?" He doesn't wait for her response. He pulls the phone from his ear.

Kensi's expression had pinched the moment she heard her mother's name.

"It's your mom," he says, even though he knows she knows.

She nods and sets down the bags onto the chair next to his bed.

"I…" He trails off, not sure of what he had planned to end the thought with. Is he sorry? He's not sure. He's not sure he's done anything wrong. But the look on his wife's face tells him he may have done something wrong. She looks troubled. And suddenly vulnerable. He doesn't like it. And he doesn't like that he doesn't understand it. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

She sighs. "I was going to call her," she says. "I just didn't have a chance yet."

He blinks, and then blinks again, as he struggles to follow her line of thought.

She, apparently, takes pity on him. She holds out her hand. He passes her the phone without thought.

She holds the phone up to her ear while she meets Marty's eyes. "Mom, it's me," she says into the phone.

There is a pause and Deeks is pretty sure Julia is talking.

Kensi reaches her hand to run through Marty's hair and offers him a reassuring smile. He is assured that nothing is too wrong, but his wife's face is still troubled.

"I was going to call, I just lost of time, I'm sorry," she says into the phone. There is a pause. "I'm sorry," Kensi says again.

Deeks frowns. He loves that his wife has a relationship with her mother now, but he also knows she's chronically afraid to lose what she has gained. She's afraid of the rejection she had known for so many years. She's afraid she's not good enough for her mom, and she's afraid if she needs too much, Julia will walk away again.

She swallows hard. "He…he got shot," she says into the phone.

She winces and pulls the phone a couple inches from her ear at Julia's reaction.

Deeks reaches for his wife's hand. He squeezes and meets her eyes.

Kensi clears her throat. "Yesterday morning."

Again, she winces, but does not pull the phone away.

"He's going to be okay," Kensi is saying. She pauses and pulls the phone all the way from her ear. She presses the screen to put it on speakerphone.

"-you sure?" Comes Julia's voice on the end of a sentence.

"Yes," Kensi answers. She passes Deeks the phone to hold as she turns and shuffles her way onto the bed beside him. "He's stable and awake and the doctor says he'll be okay."

"That's good," Julia says. "Very good." She pauses, and Deeks can hear her take a breath. "But why… Oh, Kensi, why wouldn't you tell me this yesterday? I could have been with you."

Kensi sighs. "I…didn't want to worry you."

"It's my job to-" Julia cuts herself off. "Do you need anything? Can I do anything? I want to help."

Deeks feels Kensi lean into his shoulder. "We're okay," she tells her mother.

Deeks turns his head to press a kiss to her temple. Beyond watching Monty, he knows Kensi tries never to ask her mother for anything important. She's so afraid of rejection. He wishes he could take that fear from her.

"Well, I am coming to the hospital, so let me know if you want me to pick anything up."

"You really don't have to," Kensi tries.

"I know I don't have to," Julia says sadly. Even in his slightly drugged state, Deeks knows that Julia knows what Kensi is doing. "I _want_ to."

00

Summer 2002 continued…

" _Just us," he echoed with an easy smile._

 _She smiled back at him._

 _He reached his arm around her and pulled her against him. He pressed a kiss to her temple. "What about you?"_

" _What about me?"_

" _Any family you want to invite?"_

 _She burrowed closer to him and shook her head. "My dad's parent died when I was young. And his brother died in a car accident before I was born. There is no one else."_

" _What about your mom's side?"_

 _Kensi closed her eyes as she leaned into her fiancé. This was not a conversation she wanted to be having. "I haven't heard from anyone since my mom left us. I'm sure she has a new family now and they don't want anything to do with me."_

 _He hesitated for a moment. "What about your mom?" He asked softly._

" _Marty…" She whispers._

" _I don't want to…" He trailed off before trying again. "I don't want to upset you. And I don't want to make you talk about this if you don't want to. But have you considered reaching out to your mother?"_

" _I've thought about it," she admitted._

" _And?"_

 _She pulled her feet up onto the couch and wrapped an arm around her knees, while still leaning into Marty and his offered comfort. "Part of me wants to invite her. But the other part knows she wouldn't care. I'm not part of her life anymore, because of her choices. She doesn't want me."_

 _Deeks turns and wraps both arms tightly around her. "I find it so hard to believe anyone could not want you."_

 _She closed her eyes against the suddenly onslaught of tears. "Thank you."_

 _He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I will always want you, Kensi."_

00

Kensi is anxious as she wanders the hospital room. Marty is asleep, but she is too worked up to sit quietly. She picks up and then repositions the duffel bag sitting on the chair. She picks up the take out soup bowl sitting on the table to see if it needs to be thrown out. She runs her hands along the thin blanket covering her husband. Then she starts the process over again.

She hadn't told her mother the truth the previous day because she had been afraid Julia wouldn't care. She'd known she would not be able to deal with the rejection if Julia hadn't cared, or hadn't wanted to help. After a day of processing, she knows the likelihood of Julia having reacted like that the previous day was extremely slim. But still. Her fear is a learned response, not a conscious choice.

She didn't consciously decide not to tell Julia at all about the shooting, but she's pretty sure she would never have brought it up if she didn't have too.

But Julia knows now, and she's on her way to the hospital.

"It's going to be okay," her husband's sleep filled voice pulls her from her thoughts.

She turns to find him staring at her from the hospital bed. He looks a little more like himself than he had that morning. After the phone call with her mother, she had helped Marty change into his own clothes which she had brought from home.

"You're awake." She pads her way towards him and accepts his outstretched hand.

Deeks tugs her closer and she bends towards him with a smile, pressing her lips to his.

"You're sleeping less and less each time," she acknowledges.

"Think that means they'll let me go home tomorrow?"

Her heart leaps at the thought of having him home. But she can see the monitors still attached to him, and knows of the drains leading from his incisions. She doubts he'll be home with her tomorrow.

"Soon," she assures.

He makes a face and squeezes her hand. "Not soon enough."

She smiles and moves to sit next to his hip, facing him. "I've gotten used to having you home." It's only really been half a year since his last undercover assignment ended. But already that temporary-feeling life they had shared for so many years seems like a thing of the long-ago past.

"I've gotten used to being home."

She feels her heart tug in her chest. "I don't know what I would do without you."

"Oh, Kens…" He closes both hands arounds hers. "Don't think that way."

"How can I not after yesterday?"

"Because I'm right here with you," he answers evenly. "And I'm not planning on going anywhere."

"I was scared," she admits quietly.

"So was I," he echoes. "I haven't had nearly as much time with you as I need to have."

She smiles at that. "We haven't done as much as we need to do together."

"Well, we're going to plan our trip," he reminds her.

"Yeah." She smiles at the thought of sitting on a beach beside him. Or maybe hiking up a mountain. Or snorkelling. Or going somewhere cold and beautiful. So many possibilities.

"I'm thinking world-wide trip, hit every country," he jokes.

She laughs. "Sounds great. Except, one, that would take forever. And, two, we cannot afford that."

"Two excellent points."

She laughs again and squeezes his hand. "We'll figure it out."

"We will," he agrees.

She considers him for a long moment. "I'm looking forward to our vacation," she tells him. "But that wasn't what I meant by us having more to do together."

He cocks his head and stares at her, contemplative.

"I know we promised not to have regrets," she starts, and ignores the tears that well in her eyes. "But I would regret not getting the chance to have kids with you." Now that she has finally allowed herself to really want kids, it's something she can't imagine not having.

He exhales slowly and nods. "Me, too, Kens." He squeezes her hands. "We're going to have that chance."

She smiles. "I really hope so."

He smiles at her, his eyes filled with affection. "I know so. Cause our kids will be bad ass, just like their mom. With my excellent hair. So, how could we not get that chance?"

She laughs through unshed tears at his words. "You make a good argument."

He smirks. "Of course I do, I'm a lawyer."

She huffs and leans forward to kiss him. "I love you."

He smiles against her lips. "I love you, too."

00

Deeks is still awake when his mother-in-law arrives.

Julia pushes through the door slowly and quietly, her expression apprehensive. But the moment her eyes land on Kensi and Deeks, she hurries her pace. She drops her purse onto a chair on her way to Deeks's bedside.

"Marty. Thank god you're okay." She shakes her head. "You look so much better than I was imagining in my head."

Deeks offers her a smile. "I'm doing pretty good, Julia. Please don't worry about me."

Julia scoffs and pats him on the hand, clearly afraid she'll hurt him if she touches him elsewhere. "It is my job to worry." She turns and makes her way to the other side of his bed. Kensi stands from her chair, and Julia doesn't even give her a chance to say a word before she pulls her into a tight hug.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't here for you, Kensi."

Deeks watches quietly as he wife returns the hug carefully.

"It was my fault for not telling you," Kensi says.

"No. It's my fault you're afraid to tell me things," Julia says. "But I need you to know how much I _want_ to be here for you. Both of you."

There is a pause, and then Kensi tightens her grip on her mother.

Deeks watches as his wife accepts her mother's comfort. He's glad she has someone else, and can only hope if anything permanent ever did happen to him that Julia would stick around and be there for Kensi.

Julia releases her daughter and turns towards Deeks, her arm still around Kensi. "Now, is there anything you need? Anything at all?"

Deeks offers her a smile. "I have everything I need right here."

Kensi back at him and reaches for his hand. She sits back down, and even smiles when Julia pulls a chair up beside her to sit as well.

"You really do seem to be doing well," Julia comments. "I expected…worse. At least for you to be in the ICU."

"They took him from recovery to stepdown," Kensi answers.

Julia nods. "And you're going to be okay? They don't expect any complications?"

"I'll be fine," he assures. "It was a small calibre weapon. Not too much damage."

"What happened? I didn't hear about any major situations on the news yesterday."

Deeks forces a neutral look to his face. "It was bad luck, really. I walked in on a robbery down the street from the precinct."

Julia sighs. "I worry about you, being a cop and all. I know you two are so independent and strong, but I can't help but worry. Something like this, though… Just a random action."

Deeks shares a brief look with his wife before turning back to Julia. "That's why I'm a cop. So as few people as possible experience these random bad moments."

Julia is silent for a long time. "I'm proud of you," she tells him. "I know I have no right to be, and I know we've only known each other a few years, but I'm proud of you. And I'm so very glad you and Kensi found each other."

Deeks feels his wife squeeze his hand. He squeezes back. "So am I."

"Me, too." Kensi smiles.

Julia reaches her arm around Kensi again, and for a moment they are all silent.

"You must have been here the last two days," Julia says to Kensi. "Is your work being understanding? I know how important your work can be for their clients, but they have to understand that you need to be here."

"They understand," Kensi assures, falling easily into the role of the wife of a cop who works for a law firm, doing background work for cases. "As long as things are good here, I'll go in for a bit tomorrow and Friday, but it'll be okay if I don't."

Deeks squeezes her hand, knowing she hates lying to her mother.

"That's good. And I can keep Monty as long as you need, and be here if you need. Just…anything. I can do anything either of you need. I want to help."

"Thank you," Deeks tells her.

Kensi is silent for a long moment. Deeks looks to her with worry. He watches as her eyes fill with tears. "Kens…" He breathes.

She sniffs, but manages to smile at him. She then turns to her mother. "Thank you…mom, thank you so much for being here."

Deeks lets Kensi's hand go as she is pulled into a second tight hug from her mother. He smiles at the scene, hoping a little good can come out of this whole situation.

00

Kensi sighs when she reaches work. It's still fairly early in the morning, and after two nights at the hospital, she's exhausted. She had planned to go into work today; just not this early. But Hetty had called an hour ago and asked that she come in as soon as possible.

She pulls in her car behind Eric, reminding her of the last time she had pulled in behind him.

Had it really only been two days?

She parks and gets out of the car, making sure to bring her extra-large coffee cup with her.

"Morning, Eric," she calls to the tech, who is waiting by the door.

"Morning, Kensi," he says back. Then he visibly hesitates.

"What?"

"I just…was wondering…how Deeks is?"

She feels her brow furrow as they begin to walk into the building together, wondering why the question would make him hesitate.

"He's doing well," she answers.

"That's good. I was worried. And I know you were worried."

She glances at him, only to see him do the same to her. "Everything okay, Eric?"

"Fine," he says quickly. "Just…worried."

"Worried," she echoes. "Well, you can be less worried. He's doing well."

"Okay. Okay, I will." He glances at her, and then does so again.

"Seriously, Eric, what?" She stops between the bullpen and the stairs to Ops.

Eric stops beside her. "That just looks like…interesting coffee…"

She glances at the coffee cup in her hands and internally curses herself for being so obvious. She can sense Callen and Sam behind her. If Eric noticed the coffee cup with the Hospital insignia, then so would the rest of the team. If she wasn't so freaking tired, then maybe she would have noticed herself sooner.

She forces a neutral look to her face. "Got it at the hospital this morning. Pretty shitty coffee, actually, but I needed the caffeine."

Eric is suddenly quiet as Callen and Sam join them.

"You saw Deeks this morning?" Callen asks. "How is he?"

For a moment, all she wants to do is tell them. The events of the last two days clearly haven't led to them discovering who Deeks really is to her. Well, Eric may be on his way too figuring it out, but Callen and Sam are clearly in the dark. She can tell by their behaviour.

And in this moment, she can't think of a single reason to care whether they know. She loves her husband and she doesn't want to hide anymore. She could tell them now. She could. She-

She can't.

Them knowing may just be the right thing, but her husband deserves to be here with her when they tell the team. Not stuck in a hospital bed across the city.

"Yeah, I saw him this morning," she says. It's not a lie. It just doesn't tell the whole truth, which is that she had woken up there with him that morning, or that she plans to sleep there again tonight. "He's doing well."

"That's good news," Sam says.

She nods.

"Any idea why Hetty called us in so early?" Sam asks her, clearly not suspicious and moving on in the conversation.

Kensi shakes her head. "No. Just that she asked me to come in as quickly as possible."

00

Deeks is flipping through channels of the small hospital television when his wife arrives. She's carrying a plastic bag, which he hopes to hell has takeout in it.

"Hey," he greets.

"Hey, you." She offers him a smile.

He smiles back. She is clearly exhausted, having spent the last two nights with him and then the day at work. But her eyes relay to him how happy she is to see him.

"Long day, huh?"

She releases a laughing breath and leans over the edge of the bed for a kiss. Then she practically collapses onto the chair next to the bed. "Very. And I have to go back in early tomorrow."

"Well, I'm glad you have the night off, at least. You need to get some sleep. Are Callen and Sam still at work?"

"Callen and Sam are on a plane to Yemen."

He raises an eyebrow.

She sighs. "Remember Abdul Habaza?"

He thinks for a moment before the information comes to him. "Brother of the terrorist leader who killed Sam's friend? The guy we helped break out of prison?"

"That's the one. He finally contacted Sam's alias this morning by e-mail. Sam's on his way to meet him in hopes it leads him to the brother. Callen is going as back up, and Nate is already there."

He exhales slowly. "Sorry I'm out of commission for this one."

"Not too much heavy lifting needed from either of us on this one," she assures him. She lifts the bag of take out.

"You are amazing," he says, his focus on the bag. "I am starving."

She pulls a carton out of the bag and passes it to him. "Stir fry with rice. Thought it would be easy on your stomach."

He holds up the carton and inhales. "Smells amazing. Seriously, Kens. You're amazing. This is exactly what I need right now. Well, this and you."

She smiles warmly at him as she pulls out her own carton and passes him a fork.

He grabs her hand with the fork and playfully tugs her closer.

Kensi laughs at his antics.

"Sit with me," he implores. "I'm starved for attention."

She rolls her eyes, though her eyes are sparkling. She moves to shuffle onto the bed next to him.

Deeks can't quite lift his arm around her yet without significant pain, but he manages to hook his arm around hers and lean in to press a kiss to her cheek.

"You got your ring on," she comments. She had left it with him that morning, but the swelling in his fingers had still been preventing him from wearing it comfortably.

He holds up his hand and wiggles his fingers. "Finally. And good timing, too. Had to fend off the advances of Nurse Debbie. Kept offering to give me a sponge bath." He makes a show of shuddering, knowing it will make his wife laugh.

Kensi laughs out loud at his antics. "I'm sure."

"It's true," he insists. "But it also means I haven't had my sponge bath…" He raises an eyebrow.

Kensi keeps laughing. He smiles with her, his smile widening as he sees tears well in her eyes. After the stress of the last few days, she is crying tears of laughter. They tell him everything is going to be okay.

Still laughing, she turns her head to press a kiss to his cheek. "Don't worry, Marty. I got you covered."

"Looking forward to it."

00

 _ **Thanks again to everyone who has left supportive PMs and reviews. I am woefully behind in my review replies and PM replies. I'm hoping to at least have the chance to respond to questions in the next week, but I know most everyone would rather me spend time writing first.**_

 _ **I debated including this, but I just want to address a few things in PMs/Reviews of the last several months… I started this story not knowing there would be a significant death in my family and not knowing I would be injured. So, definitely did not PLAN on all these delays. That being said, I do this in my spare time and I do this for free. I LOVE writing, and I LOVE writing NCIS LA fanfiction. I absolutely plan to finish this story and I am very much looking forward to writing the big reveal. BUT it takes time (10-20hrs per chapter) and focus to write. Also, despite my outdated penname, I am not a student. I have a full time job and life responsibilities that don't allow me to spend all day every day writing. So, if you choose to read/follow a story which is in progress, you need to understand that I cannot commit to an update schedule. I do and will update as quickly as I can.**_


	43. Enemy Within

_**AN: Thank you again for your patience and support over the last several months. And also, thanks for the support/response to my post at the end of the last chapter. For the record, I don't mind the 'please update soon' type reviews/PMs. They tell me that people are still reading and interested. It's the few comments that blame me for their disappointment in the lack of updates that bother me. If it were my choice, I would write full time. But I can't do that, and I can't control the other crap that has come up in the last year. So, again, thank you!**_

 _ **Although this chapter and the next cover different episodes, there will be a part 1/part 2 feel to them. I don't work with a defined plan, but the scene I envisioned where Kensi/Deeks find out that Eric knows about them did not work out as planned. I let the characters lead the story, and I think this version is much better. That being said, I had to write this chapter and most of the next before posting to make sure the story still flowed as a whole. Good news is, next chapter will be along soon.**_

00

Episode 2.19 - Enemy Within

Deeks scratches at the scruff on his cheek as he considers what he has just typed on the computer screen. He frowns and moves the cursor to revise a sentence.

There. Much better.

He has been back to work for two weeks now, and is doing his best not to complain about the excess of paperwork and absence of field work. The first week back, he understands being kept out of the field. He had still been getting his strength back. But he had found his stride again during the second week.

When he brought it up, Hetty blamed his lack of time in the field on a quiet caseload, leaving Deeks little room to argue.

He finishes the last paragraph, reads it over and then nods, satisfied with the report. He saves it and closes his laptop.

He heads towards the kitchenette area for a coffee refill.

When he gets back to his desk, there is a sealed envelope sitting on top of his laptop. His name is spelled out in Hetty's cursive.

"Uh…" He turns in a circle, but is unable to spot anyone in his area. He frowns and reaches for the envelope. He plays with the edge of the envelope, but isn't sure he wants to know what is inside.

He hasn't seen Callen and Sam yet this morning, but he knows his wife is in the gym, so he goes there.

She is working out at one of the free standing punching bags.

"Wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of that," he jokes as she delivers a particularly hard punch that sends the punching bag toppling away from her.

She laughs. "It's easy when they don't fight back."

He shrugs, and then laughs when she purposefully hits the bag so that it hits him in the shoulder.

"Ouch," he says playfully.

She laughs and stops her workout. "That so didn't hurt."

"I'm injured," he says, clutching to his shoulder. "I may need you to kiss it better."

She rolls her eyes. "I would love to. But it hit your other shoulder."

He purses his lips before moving his hand to his other shoulder. "The pain must be radiating."

Kensi laughs. "Sure," she says sarcastically.

He smiles back at her, happy that they can be here now, joking about him getting hurt.

In the weeks following his shooting, there had been a lot of discussion, a lot of tears and a lot of healing. As much as the situation has sucked, it has been a prime example of how strong they are as a couple. They've gotten through it together and they've come out the other side together. Stronger than ever.

He pulls the envelope out of his back pocket and waves it. "Did you get the little Hetty note?"

"No." She frowns, her eyes on the letter. "And by the way, there is no such thing as a 'little' Hetty note. There's a big Hetty note, there's a holy moly Hetty note, and there's an 'oh dear God' Hetty note."

"Good to know."

She looks to the envelope and then back to him again. "Which one is this?"

He shrugs. "I'm not sure. I haven't opened it yet."

Before Kensi can respond – probably to urge him to open it – Hetty cuts into the conversation.

"Oh, brave man, Mr. Deeks. You better be quick about it. We have a problem."

"A problem?" He echoes, sensing his wife come to stand next to him.

"More specifically," Hetty continues, "I have a problem with you."

"Me?" He exchanges a concerned glance with Kensi.

She nods. "At a routine Agent Readiness audit you were found to be woefully behind the rest of the team in Professional Development."

"Professional…development," he echoes.

Hetty motions towards the envelope, and Deeks takes it as a cue to open the envelope.

He reads the top of the page, knowing Kensi is reading beside him. It does outline that he is expected to work on his 'Professional Development' and lists a number of courses.

"I don't…" He glances at his wife.

"Professional Development is coursework to further one's skill set in a given profession," she explains.

"Okay." He clears his throat. "Okay, but I'm a cop. I took all my cop training courses. And aced them, might I point out."

"Top of his class," Kensi adds with an edge of pride in her voice.

Hetty nods. "And while we believe you are up to the task of working here, statistically speaking an agent's training level has a high correlation with their survival."

"Okay, but-"

"Who are we to argue with statistics, Mr. Deeks?" Hetty cuts him off.

"Right. Of course. But see, I spent a long time in school. And then I spent six months at the Police Academy. And I helped Kensi study for all her personal development courses. So, I really think I have enough training. Anything else I need to know, I learn from doing."

"And you will learn from 'doing' some of our courses, Mr. Deeks," Hetty says.

Deeks bites back a frown, knowing he played that right into her hand.

She points at the letter he is still holding. "You will choose one course from that list by the end of the day."

Beside him, Kensi laughs. "Back to school," she banters, nudging him with her shoulder.

He sighs. "Apparently."

"Don't worry. I'll help you study."

"You will do more than just that," Hetty addresses Kensi. "You will be in charge of overseeing the completion of Mr. Deeks's chosen coursework."

00

"Uh… This sucks," Deeks exclaims as he makes his way up the stairs towards the Ops centre, his focus on the letter in his hands. "CQB; _Close Quarter Battle_. I remember you taking that one. And Urban Warfare."

"Urban was excellent," Kensi replies, brushing against his arm to push him around the ninety degree turn in the stairs up to the second floor.

Deeks allows himself to be turned with barely a glance up from the papers. "Firearm Maintenance. Well, that sounds like the most boring-"

Kensi elbows him.

"Yes, I know you took it, too," he tells her. He waves the letter. "You took all of the courses on this list. And even got your Special Agent Friendship Badge."

She laughs out loud. "Not a thing."

"But if it was, it would be on your CV. Because I married an overachiever."

She nudges him playfully. "Yeah, _I'm_ the overachiever, Mr. lawyer-cop-liaison…"

"Touché."

"Touché," she echoes.

He almost says something in response, but chooses to keep his mouth closed, knowing she is baiting him.

They reach the top of the stairs and walk through the automatic doors into Ops. Callen and Sam are already there.

"Let's make this quick, Eric," Callen says as soon as they enter the room. "Deeks has got to get back to class."

Deeks runs a hand through his hair at the realization that Hetty has already let the rest of the team know about his new 'assignment.'

"Is there no privacy here?" He wonders out loud.

"Nope," Kensi responds, though she raises an eyebrow and offers him a hint of a smirk.

He is barely able to conceal his own grin back.

"Apparently, Hetty is determined to make you a highly skilled operative," Sam comments.

"Good luck with that," Callen is quick you pile on with his partner, though his focus is on the board and not on Deeks.

Deeks frowns. He may not have the advanced DOD training the three agents share, but he has six months of LAPD training, followed by years of on-the-job training. His lack of federal training has never held him back in this job. "I'm a highly skilled operative," he says, hoping he sounds confident.

Sam scoffs and Callen doesn't bother to respond.

"What? I am," Deeks repeats.

Sam opens his mouth, only to be cut off by Kensi.

"Be incredibly careful about what you have to say about _my_ partner," she says with an even tone that tells everyone there is no room for joking.

Sam holds up his hands in surrender and lets it go.

Callen, appearing as un-phased as usual, motions to Eric to read them into the case. The tech considers the team for a long moment, and Deeks doesn't miss that his gaze lingers on himself and Kensi, before nodding and turning to the screen.

Their newest case involves Lieutenant Commander Daniel Chambers, an intel officer working in Naval Intelligence. He was photographed obtaining a manila envelope from a man only minutes before the man was murdered. Now Chambers has been missing for two days. His specialty in Naval Intelligence is Venezuelan politics. The subject of his research, a politician named Medina, is in town.

Callen and Sam leave quickly, heading to meet with Chambers's supervisor, leaving Kensi and Deeks waiting in Ops for Eric to look up the address for Chambers's ex-wife.

Eric only takes a moment to find the information. He writes it down and then hands Kensi the paper. Nell is typing away at the computer station across the room, but Eric hesitates before turning back to his own desk.

"Everything okay there, Eric?" Kensi asks. Deeks knows that to Eric, Kensi sounds normal, but he can hear the hint of suspicion in her tone.

Eric glances quickly to Deeks and then back to Kensi. And then he nods. "Yeah, fine. Everything's fine." He turns back to his workstation without another word or glance.

Deeks glances at his wife as they turn together to leave. Her expression confirms what he already knows.

 _They've been found out._

She is silent as they descend the stairs, and he follows her lead.

She continues to be silent as they stop by their desks and then head to the car. He tries to catch her eyes, but she keeps her gaze away from his.

Deeks feels his heart rate speed up ever so slightly, anxious for her reaction.

He enjoys working here, and he loves getting to work with his wife. But this had been her workplace first, so he's always let her call the shots on what and when the team gets to know. They've established a plan now, and knew that someone finding out could be outside of their control.

But where these are people he has worked with for barely more than half a year, they've been Kensi's second family for years. He doesn't know how she's going to react now. He's not even sure she knows how she's going to react.

He gets into the passenger side of the car without joking with her about wanting to drive.

She gets into the driver's seat and shuts the door. She puts the keys into the ignition, but makes no move to turn on the engine. She's leaning forward and her body shudders.

Deeks frowns and reaches out, suddenly concerned, before he realizes-

She's laughing.

A sobbing laugh breaks free of her lips as she sits back against the seat. Her right hand reaches out towards him, looking for purchase. It finds the cotton of his tee shirt and grips about halfway up his chest.

"Oh…I can't…" She trails off and Deeks watches in near fascination as her eyes well with unshed tears. Of laughter.

"So, I take it you're not upset…" He says, amused.

She manages to shake her head. It takes her three breaths to be able to talk, but she is finally able to form sentences. "I just can't believe…Eric."

"Eric's not so bad," Deeks finds himself standing up for the tech.

"Oh, don't get me wrong, Eric is great," Kensi says quickly. "It's just… Callen and Sam pride themselves on being these highly trained operators, trained to _notice_ things. And they just…didn't. After all these months, they're just so oblivious. But Eric clearly noticed something."

"Yes, he did."

She releases her hold on his tee shirt and pats his chest. "We'll ask him when the case is over."

"And hold it over Callen and Sam's heads when the time comes," he adds.

She rolls her eyes, but nods. "Agreed."

00

Daniel Chambers's ex-wife, Emily Chambers, lives in a nice house in a nice neighborhood with their twelve-year-old daughter, Allie.

Emily Chambers, as they pretty much expected, has no information to add to their investigation. She has no knowledge of her ex-husband's work, or of his views on Venezuelan politics and Medina.

Surprisingly, though, she has only good things to say about her ex-husband. _He's a great guy, he's a great dad, we are not a great couple_ , she had said. Not the usual comments received from interviewing the ex-wife of a potential murder suspect.

The daughter, Allie, had been a typical pre-teen. Full of attitude, but also vulnerable and looking for comfort and safety. Deeks had distracted her from worrying about her dad and left Kensi to speak with her mom by taking her into the backyard to jump on their trampoline.

He's slightly out of breath from jumping when Kensi calls him into the house from the backyard.

"Three calls with no one there," Kensi explains as she leads him through the house to the front door. "Eric just traced one. Came from outside the house."

Deeks exhales slowly as he and Kensi exit the house and hurry down the front walk to the road. Together, they turn and take in the quiet road around them, looking for anomalies.

A blue pick-up roars to life and pulls off the curb.

Deeks holds up his hand, motioning for the driver to stop. Instead, the vehicle speeds up, right towards them. Knowing his wife is diving to her right, Deeks dives to his left. They both hit the ground, roll and draw their weapons. Unfortunately, by the time they are back on their feet, the pick-up has put too much distance between them and has swerved into traffic. Attempting a shot would be too dangerous to any bystanders.

Deeks swears and returns his gun to the waistband of his jeans. "You good?"

She nods. "You?"

He nods. "Just living the dream," he says dryly.

Kensi exchanges a look with him as she pulls out her cell to call in the incident to Eric.

"What the hell do you think is going on?" She asks once she hangs up with Eric.

He shakes his head. "I have no idea. But I do know all the Professional Development in the world wouldn't help me figure this one out…"

She snorts a laugh and swipes playfully at his shoulder. "Still sulking, I see."

"I aced _Sulking and Whining 101_."

She laughs again, louder this time. "And _Pissing off Sam and Callen 101_."

He smiles and nods, impressed with her joke. "Maybe not aced. I think I'm sitting at like a B+? But I'm working on it."

"You're ridiculous," she tells him.

"Maybe," he hedges. "But my focus is on my _Personal Development_ much more than my _Professional Development_." He raises an eyebrow and smirks. "I'm taking a lifelong course in being your husband. It's challenging, but worth it."

She rolls her eyes, but smiles back at him. "Well, I would give you an A+."

Deeks feels a rush of warmth wash over him at his wife's words. Their life together hasn't always been easy, but he's never doubted she was worth every struggle. And he's tried to spend his lifetime so far with her making sure she never doubted that he was worth it for her.

Kensi affectionately bumps his shoulder with hers, and then pulls her cell out of her pocket to call in the situation to Eric.

Deeks stays quiet as she passes over the information about the truck and then ends the call.

"They're sending backup to cover the house," Kensi tells him.

They head to the SRX and settle in to watch over the house until backup arrives.

"I get that Chambers is a murder suspect, but something just isn't adding up," Deeks voices what he knows they're both feeling.

Kensi nods. "Something is going on that we're just not seeing yet."

"He sounds like a good guy," Deeks says. "Clearly a good father. Good relationship with his ex-wife. That can't be easy."

" _Great guy, great dad, not a great couple_ ," Kensi echoes the ex-wife's words. "It's nice that they can get along so well for their daughter."

Deeks reaches for her hand. In the age of the high divorce rate, they both know the stats are against them. But he also knows that they both know to look past the stats. Their marriage is strong. It takes work, but it's worth it. _She_ has always been worth it; from hunting her down after their first meeting to years of scrimping and saving together for a better life.

Kensi squeezes his hand. " _You_ are a great guy," she tells him.

He smiles at her. "You think?"

She nods. "And _you_ are going to make a great dad one day."

Deeks feels his heart thud in his chest at the reminder of Kensi's recent revelation about their future. The confidence and sparkle of joy in her eyes is enough to fill him to the brim with happiness. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," she echoes. "And _we_ are a _great_ couple."

He lifts their joined hands and presses a kiss to her knuckles. "That we are."

00

 _Deeks was still smiling as he and Kensi made their way out of the stadium amongst a throng of not-so-happy UCLA basketball fans._

" _He's really good," Kensi commented as the crowd began to disperse and the noise level lowered._

" _He's already being scouted by pro-teams," he told her, knowing he has told her many times before._

 _She bumped his hip with hers. "It's nice that you're so excited for your friend."_

 _He squeezed her hand. "He's not just my friend, Kens. He's…my brother. I want things to work out for him. Plus, when he's an NBA player and he gets asked where he learned to play ball, he'll have to give all the credit to me."_

 _She laughed. "Because you taught him everything he knows," she repeated his earlier words back to him._

 _He laughed and leaned in to brush a kiss against her cheek._

 _He had spoken with Kip briefly before the game, and Kip had given him directions on getting around the stadium to meet him at the back entrance. When they finally reach their destination, they settle in for a wait, knowing the Duke team would be celebrating their win._

 _Deeks leaned against the stadium wall, and smiled when Kensi leaned against him._

" _Tired?" he asked._

" _A bit. It's been a long week." They had both had to double up shifts elsewhere in the week to get Saturday night off to see the game. Deeks had been willing to work any schedule needed to see Kip during the basketball player's brief visit. It had been far too long since he had last seen his friend. And he'd been happy when his wife had made changes to her schedule, too. He had wanted to introduce the two for years._

" _Thank you for coming tonight," he told her._

" _Of course. It was important to you."_

" _I still remember the shitty court we first played on together. It was down the street from the group home we were living at. There was only one net, and the ground was chipped and uneven. But it was better than being anywhere else. We spent hours playing with this old basketball that could barely stay inflated."_

" _That's a good memory," she commented._

 _He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "A really good one. Lots of good ones, actually."_

 _Deeks continued to tell her stories about his past with Kip until the doors opened and the players began to filter out. There were about a dozen other people – mostly girls – waiting for the exit._

 _In the middle of the group, was a subset of players who were laughing boisterously, clearly in celebration mode. And right in the middle, Deeks recognized Kip._

 _Kip looked over and shouted a greeting. "Marty-Mar!"_

 _Deeks stepped away from his wife, ignoring her whisper of "Marty-Mar?"_

 _He shook Kip's hand in a long-practiced routine, and then hugged him._

" _This is Marty, my brother-from-another-mother," Kip introduced Deeks to his teammates._

 _He turned his attention to Kensi, who was standing at Deeks's side. "And you must be the lovely Kensi."_

" _It's nice to meet you, Kip," Kensi said, stepping forward and offering Kip a handshake._

 _Kip stepped past her hand and hugged her, taking her by surprise. "We're family now."_

 _Kensi laughed and hugged him back. "Brother-from-another-mother-in-law?"_

 _Kip pulled back from the hug with an approving smile and a nod. "I like her," he said to Deeks. "She's bad."_

 _Kensi furrowed her brow and glanced towards Deeks._

 _Deeks clapped Kip on the back. "That's a good thing. It's his 'catchphrase.' Thinks it makes him sound cool."_

 _Kip chuffed and elbowed Marty. "Come on, man, it's supposed to be you and me against the world."_

" _We made that pact when we were, what? Thirteen?"_

" _Sounds about right."_

 _Deeks reached for Kensi's hand, happy to be with two of the most important people in his life. "It's good to see you, man," he said seriously. "You look like you're finally getting a hang of this whole basketball thing."_

 _Kip mock glared at him before sobering quickly. "Looking like it's really going to happen. Lots of interest from pro-teams."_

" _That's awesome."_

 _Kip nodded. "And I will tell you all about it at dinner."_

" _Dinner? It's already nine-"_

" _Did getting married turn you into an old man already?"_

 _Deeks opened his mouth to stand up for himself, only to be cut off by the sound of Kensi laughing at him. He rolled his eyes. "I only meant that you have to leave in the morning."_

" _Early flight home," Kip agreed. "But this is the first time I've gotten to see my brother in years. And because I couldn't make it to the wedding, I am taking you two out for dinner."_

 _Deeks knew better than to argue with Kip when his mind was set on something. They at least managed to steer Kip away from any fancy or overpriced restaurants, and settled on a nice place between the UCLA campus where they had been playing and Kip's hotel._

 _Dinner was great. The conversation was better. Kip was at the top of his game, and sent approving nods towards Kensi each time she met his verbal spars with a witty response._

 _Near the end of the evening, when Kensi excused herself to use the bathroom, Kip lifted his nearly empty glass to cheers with Deeks._

" _She's great," he said._

 _Deeks nodded. "She really is."_

" _I get it now."_

" _Get what?"_

" _Why you bailed on our plan."_

 _Deeks sighed. "Look, man…"_

 _Kip shook his head. "No, really. I get it. She was worth passing on the scholarship from Duke." He winked at Deeks. "And worth missing out on the last year and a half with yours truly."_

 _Deeks opened his mouth to respond, but the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. Kensi materialized beside their table._

 _Kip's expression told Deeks he hadn't seen her come back from the bathroom._

 _Kensi's expression told Deeks she had heard much of the conversation._

 _Her eyes were now filled with uncertainty as she slid into the booth next to him. "You were offered a scholarship to Duke?"_

" _Not a full scholarship," he said quickly. "Not much better than what I was offered here, really."_

 _She stared at him for a long moment, her eyes searching his. "I didn't know," she finally said._

 _He opened his mouth to respond, but closed it just as fast, knowing all he would be offering her were excuses. Truth be told, he had chosen not to tell her. "I'm sorry," he offered quietly._

 _She reached for his hand and squeezed tight._

 _After a beat of silence, Kip picked up the conversation again, trying to get the focus away from the past and his inadvertent slip up._

 _Deeks smiled and took part in the conversation, but held tight to his wife, knowing they would have to talk later._

00

Nell is able to track the murdered man from a missing person's report. He was a day labourer, randomly picked to deliver a package to Chambers.

Eric tracks calls made to Chambers's cell phone to a hotel room. Callen and Sam find detailed itinerary and security information of an upcoming visit of Medina, the Venezuelan politician.

Together, Eric and Nell are able to locate video footage of the day labourer being picked up by the same vehicle that tried to run down Kensi and Deeks. They aren't able to ID the driver from the grainy image of a middle aged woman, but they are able to relate the vehicle to a rental company and further relate it back to an address.

The team quickly breaches the address and finds their suspect, Daniel Chambers. But, as with so much of this case, things are not as expected. He is not on the offensive. He is not armed. He is found drugged and tied to a chair.

Kensi and Deeks clear the rest of the house as Callen and Sam release and wake up Chambers. Then the team takes him outside. They sit him on a patio chair and allow him to catch his breath.

"Can you tell us what happened?" Callen asks.

"Uh, a guy called me, said he had damning evidence of Medina's ties to the Middle East. Said to meet him on the pier in twenty minutes or he'd leave. I figured it was safe. Last thing I remember is walking to the car." He pauses. "What is this all about?"

"You're the patsy," Sam explains. "You sounded the alarm on Medina, asked questions, wrote reports."

Callen nods along with his partner. "Medina gets assassinated, you take the fall."

"You're lucky," Sam adds. "By the look of things, we probably would've found you in a motel room dead with a suicide note and the murder weapon."

"It's the perfect cover," Deeks adds. "Naval intel agent, highly critical of Medina, snaps and kills him."

Kensi nods. "Almost convinced us. We came here looking for you as a suspect."

Chambers sighs. "How can I help?"

Callen holds up his phone, displaying a photo of the woman driving the pick-up who had picked up the day labourer. "Do you know her?"

Chambers's expression immediately tells them he does know her. "Her name is Helen. I met her at a lecture series at UCLA a few weeks ago. I knew she was out of my league." He shakes his head. "We were, uh, together at a motel when I got the call. She drove me there, said she'd wait for me…" He trails off and runs his hands through his hair. "I can't believe I fell for this."

"They set you up good," Sam says.

"Really, really good," Deeks adds. Now that they know more of the story, it's clear this man is innocent and was just doing his best to serve his country.

"Any idea who 'they' are?" Callen asks.

Chambers nods. "There is a hard-line faction in the country lead by a guy named Miguel Cortez. They stand to gain the most out of this. If they eliminate their biggest opponent on American soil, we take the blame and anti-Americanism just runs rampant."

"So, instead of leading a charge against America, Cortez would ride on the coattails of the anti-American views after setting up Medina's assassination on American soil."

Chambers nods. "He's already at a seventy percent approval rating. This could put him up to ninety-five."

Deeks exchanges a look with Kensi, knowing no one on their team is doubting the information Chambers is providing or their newly built theory.

"Where is Medina now?" Chambers asks.

"He just landed," Callen says. "He'll be at his fundraiser in Beverly Hills in an hour."

"State Department won't shut it down," Kensi reminds the team. "Neither will Medina. And even if they would, we would probably never catch them."

"It has to be an inside job," Sam adds into the conversation.

Deeks nods. "But other than this Helen woman, we have no idea who else could be involved."

"We have to go under cover at the fundraiser," Kensi says what they are all thinking.

Callen nods and turns to Chambers. "Will you help us?"

"Of course."

00

Deeks runs his hand down the lapels of the jacket of the suit Hetty had given him before practically shoving him into the change room. The suit is black and high quality, and probably costs more than all of his clothes combined. The fact that there was no tie sent along with the suit made the outfit even better.

Satisfied that everything is in order, he turns away from the mirror. Across the room, he spots Callen and Sam. He bites back a smirk. Sam is dressed in a much lower quality black suit with a bowtie. Callen is in a maroon suit. Both will be playing wait staff at tonight's fundraiser while he and Kensi play guests, along with Chambers.

Kensi walks across the far side of the room and stops to speak with Callen, probably going over the plan again. Deeks knows he too should join the conversation, but he feels his pulse quicken at the sight of her and needs a moment to contain himself.

She looks amazing.

He happens to think she always looks amazing. But this particular dress leaves very little to the imagination. It's black, tight, short and low cut.

With their jobs and lifestyles, they don't get to dress up and go out very often. He recalls making a conscious decision to do things differently both after ending his undercover career and after getting shot. He definitely needs to plan a night out with his wife. A night where he can walk up to her when she looks like _that_ and touch her and kiss and not worry about who-

A throat clears and he looks down, his attention torn from his wife to his boss.

"Distracted, are we, Mr. Deeks?"

"Hetty." He clears his throat. "No. I was just…"

"Thinking about your test, I'm sure," she offers.

"My test," he echoes dumbly.

She nods. "Your first Professional Development course test. Your partner let me know you chose Firearms Training Simulator. I'm looking forward to you completing the test after tonight's assignment."

"Right. Of course." He nods and forces a smile to his face. "I'll be ready."

"Good. Now, why don't you get your focus on the coming operation and join the team."

00

The operation is a fairly equal combination of success and shit show. The team keeps Medina from being assassinated on US soil, and also manage to keep him from knowing there are people on his own security team who had planned to kill him. They manage to identify and take down the bad guys with limited fuss. 'Helen' makes an appearance, only to be chased down by Kensi, and tackled into a fountain. Not far behind, Deeks is there to make the arrest when the woman pulls a gun.

He makes sure the woman isn't going anywhere and then helps his very wet wife out of the fountain.

"Don't say a word," Kensi threatens.

He smirks. "Wasn't going to. Nice tackle, by the way." He glances to make sure their back up has a handle on 'Helen' before slipping out of his jacket. Despite Kensi's protests, he swings it around her shoulders.

"Hetty will kill us," she argues weakly against getting the jacket wet, though her shoulders are shaking.

"I don't care, Kens. You're shivering." He tugs on the lapels of the jacket, pulling it snug around her. He's not able to see her cold and not do something about it.

She replaces his hands with hers and pulls the jacket tighter around herself. "Thank you."

He reaches to brush a few wet strands of wet hair from her face. "Any time."

00

Once the scene has been cleared and Chambers returned to his family, the team heads back to Ops.

"Gotta say, Chambers is a good dad, and has a commendable relationship with his ex-wife," Sam comments as the team heads towards their desks. The boys are still wearing their suits, though Callen and Sam have removed their ties. And Kensi is still wearing Deeks's jacket over her dress.

"They seemed pretty tight," Kensi agrees. "Even when we interviewed her the first time, she had nothing but good things to say about him."

"Something to aspire to," Callen comments off hand.

Deeks shrugs. "Personally, I aspire to never have my ex-wife say those things, because I'm never planning on having an ex-wife…" He winks towards Kensi.

Kensi opens her mouth, but before she can say a word, Sam cuts her off.

"That is only because no woman in their right mind would ever marry you in the first place," Sam says with a laugh.

Kensi's eyes flash and she opens her mouth again, clearly prepared to say something much different this time, only to be cut off again.

"Another wardrobe malfunction, I see?" Hetty says, walking right into the middle of the conversation as if she hadn't been privy to what had been – and had about to be – said.

Kensi shoots a glare towards Sam and then nods at Hetty. "I'm sorry about the dress, Hetty."

"A small price to pay for a successful assignment."

"Thank you."

Hetty reaches for the jacket she is still wearing. "And how nice you have such a thoughtful _partner_."

"I do," Kensi agrees.

"Why don't you leave that with me," she says, motioning to the jacket, "And go get changed."

Kensi slips out of the jacket, leaves it with Hetty, and heads for the change room.

Hetty turns to the boys. "Good job tonight. Mr. Hanna, you did an exceptional job impersonating a waiter. I will keep that in mind for next time." She walks away, winking towards Deeks as she does so.

Deeks bites back a smirk as Sam complains under his breath, the senior agent clearly not recognizing the comment as Hetty's way of payback for his earlier comment towards Deeks.

Deeks takes his time getting changed, knowing he is expected to stick around for his test.

Callen and Sam both leave with a friendly goodbye, leaving Deeks, again, wondering where he stands with them.

Kensi reappears wearing jeans and a long sleeved tee shirt. Her hair is pulled back into a tight pony tail. She looks warmer than before, but her arms are still wrapped around her middle.

"Cold?" He asks.

Her shoulders raise at the question and she cocks her head. "Bit of a chill, I think. Really want to get home to a warm shower."

"Or a bath," he suggests.

She raises an eyebrow. "For two?"

He coughs slightly to cover for his surprised reaction. "Not where I was going with that, but yes. Yes, absolutely."

She smiles.

"You okay to wait?"

She nods. "Hopefully, this won't take too long."

"You have a sweater here?"

She shakes her head. "I looked, but I couldn't find the one I normally keep here. I think I took it home last week to wash."

He moves towards his locker and pulls out the sweater he has stashed at work. It's an old Duke Basketball sweatshirt that Kip had given him in college. He holds it out to her. "I don't want you to be cold."

She stares at the proffered sweater for a long moment before moving to take it from him. "Thank you."

"It's late," he points out, "Almost everyone has gone home. But if you're worried someone will notice and-"

She shakes her head. "No. I want to wear it. Thank you." She pulls it over her head.

He smiles at his wife, feeling the familiar tug in his chest that he experiences anytime he sees her wearing his clothes.

"And Marty? I don't care who sees me. And I don't care who knows about us. I'm proud to be your wife."

He shuffles a little closer. "And I am proud to be your husband. Especially when you look like you're about to take on Sam bare handed."

Her expression darkens. "I may actually kill him one day."

He shakes his head. "Don't let him get to your head."

"But-"

"He can spend as much energy as he wants saying things about a situation he doesn't understand. You and me," he motions between them, "We know the truth."

She reaches out and lays her hand on his chest. "We do." She smiles up at him. "You're being awfully intuitive tonight."

"I know, I'm sorry. I'll be back to normal tomorrow," he jokes.

She laughs and swipes playfully at his shoulder.

He smiles at her. "I'm just…" He trails off for a moment and she cocks her head, waiting him out. "I'm happy."

"Marty…" She whispers, taking a step closer.

He wraps her in his arms, not caring that they are still at work. "After last month, getting shot, knowing I could have left you alone…" He trails off and hugs her closer. Her arms snake around his waist, telling him she has no plans on letting him go any time soon, either. "I know it's cliché, but I'm just seeing things different now. Some of the things that seemed so important before just aren't anymore." He takes a moment to breathe. "When I was blacking out in that coffee shop, I didn't care that Callen and Sam don't always like me, and I didn't care about who knows about us and who doesn't. All I cared about in that moment was you. _You_ are what is important. _We_ are what is important."

She is quiet for a long moment, before slowly pulling back far enough to meet his eyes. Hers are deeper than normal, the extra moisture reflecting the lights around them. But her gaze is even and clear. "I'm happy, too, Marty."

00

Eric is late leaving, having stuck around to perform some system scans. He makes is partway down the stairs when movement catches his attention.

Kensi and Deeks are standing close together by the lockers. He hesitates, but is unable to look away.

He watches as Deeks hands Kensi a sweatshirt. She puts it on and then he steps closer to her. They talk and Deeks waves his hand between them.

Then Kensi lays her hand on his chest. Eric inhales sharply at the act, and at Deeks's expression. He may be better with computers than with people, but there is no question what the look in Deeks's eyes mean.

He loves her.

Eric knew something had to be going on from what he saw at the hospital. But this is more than he had expected.

Across the floor, Deeks says something that makes Kensi laugh. Like, really laugh. In a way he has never seen Kensi look before.

Kensi clearly loves him back.

And then they hug. Close and comfortable and intimate. Clearly not caring who may see them.

Eric turns and quietly makes his way back up the stairs, not wanting to be caught spying. He's glad his friends are happy with each other. He just can't help but wonder is anyone else knows and how long he has missed seeing it.

00

Hetty herds Deeks and Kensi to the shooting range where she has already set up Deeks's test. There are several targets with their backs facing Deeks.

"Before we get started, do you understand the test, Mr. Deeks?"

Deeks nods. "As the targets turn around, I make decisions in real time; shoot the bad guys, don't shoot the good guys."

"Let's begin."

The first round goes perfectly. Deeks shoots the cartooned burglars and terrorists, while steering clear of the little girls and old ladies.

Hetty keeps watch, while Kensi stands behind keeping score.

The second round is a little more challenging. The targets a little harder to immediately distinguish between good and bad. But Deeks manages without issue or hesitation.

It's in the third and final round where he runs into trouble.

The first target is a bad guy with a gun.

Deeks shoots.

"Oh! Deeks one, bad guy zero," Deeks calls.

The next target is a girl holding a lollipop. The target is designed to look quite similar to the previous one, but Deeks recognizes immediately not to shoot. He's learned over the years to listen to his instincts.

"Little girl with the lollipop, you live."

The third target turns and instills fear. He shoots before he completely processes what he's looking at.

And now he feels a new wave of dread wash over him as he stares at the paper target of Hetty staring back at him.

The target of Hetty with a bullet hole through the head, curtesy of Deeks.

He releases a nervous laugh. "Uh… Oops?"

Behind him there is only silence.

He winces and turns to face the music.

Kensi is staring at him in shock, her hand still clutching to the pen, poised in the air above the clipboard. In any other situation, her expression would be quite comical.

Hetty is also staring at him.

"So…that happened," he stutters. "And Hetty, I would take this as a compliment, yeah? Because you are so great and powerful, and-"

Hetty turns on her heel and walks out of the room, muttering, "Cheeky bastard."

Deeks exhales slowly, turning his attention to his wife.

Kensi meets his eyes, looking shocked, still, but also having trouble holding back a laugh.

"Don't say it."

A smile breaks through. "I cannot believe you just… You… And then…" She waves towards the target behind his back.

"I reacted on instinct," he insisted.

She clutches to the clipboard and bends forward, laughing freely now. "Do you think she'd notice if we took that home? I want to remember this forever."

Deeks laughs, despite himself. "I'm sure she would. Bad enough that I'm not even sure if I have a job to come back to tomorrow now. If I took the target, she may actually kill me."

Kensi is still laughing as he approaches her. She hooks her fingers into the collar of his shirt and tugs him down for a quick peck on the lips.

He kisses her back. "Well, it's been a great life together, Kens. Sorry, to cut it short. But if I'm going to have a chance of getting away in one piece, I have to go now." He pecks her on cheek as she continues to laugh at him. "Don't be sad. Once I settle somewhere off the grid, we'll skype."

"I'll protect you, Marty."

He pretends to think it over, before allowing her to tug him from the shooting range.

Hetty is nowhere to be found, but there is already a new envelope sitting on his desk, scheduling him for a re-test the following evening.

00

 _ **AN: Kip Brigham was introduced in episode 6.10 as a professional basketball player who considered himself Deeks's best friend. He and Deeks were clearly tight, and had talked about Kensi. Also, it was noted that Deeks got him into playing basketball. It was an odd situation to bring up and then never talk about again. At the time, we had not met Deeks's mother, nor did we know there was a mother to meet. Considering how little we knew at the time about Deeks's past after that fateful day when he was 11, I fit it into my head that Deeks spent some time in foster care, which is where he met Kip, and the two considered themselves foster brothers. (There was a line where Kips says 'it's supposed to be you and me against-' and then gets cut off.) Anyway, Kip was always going to be part of this story. And even after now seeing Deeks's mother and learning a little more, I'm sticking to my original thoughts for this story (seeing as I am too far into this to fit in the wonderful Roberta Deeks).**_


	44. The Job & Rocket Man

_**AN: Another attempt into switching between POVs.**_

 _ **For those keeping track/prone to noticing, I have made some changes to the takedown at the end of The Job. This was an important episode for the real Kensi and Deeks, but things are different between them 'now' so the end is a bit different. Also, in the ever-present struggle of how much of the case to write vs leave out, there's a fair bit of explanation for these eps. I had to go into some detail for those who don't know the episodes by heart. For those who do, feel free to skim in those sections.**_

00

Episode 2.20 - The Job and Episode 2.21 Rocket Man

Deeks jolts awake. He's disoriented and confused. The world moves around him as he is forced out of bed and to his feet.

It's dark and there's noise. He's stumbling forward on unbalanced legs, though he's not sure why.

He stubs his toe and slides to a stop, swearing.

"Come on!" His wife's desperate pleas reach his ears; the noise he had been hearing only moments ago finally forming into words within his head.

"Kens?"

"Hurry!"

Desperate whining also reaches his ear, and he feels Monty brushing against his legs.

He still doesn't understand what is going on, but he allows himself to be pulled forward, out of their bedroom and into the upstairs hallway.

He hesitates at the top of the stairs, his mind finally really awake, but still really not understanding what is happening. There are no alarms and no smoke, so he's pretty sure the house isn't on fire. If someone was shooting at them, she'd been tugging him down to take cover while shooting back.

"What is going on?" He demands.

"Can't you feel it?" She asks, still tugging on his arm.

"Feel what?"

"The earthquake!"

Having grown up in LA, he knows instinctually what do to and where to go in the event of an earthquake. Now that it's been pointed out to him, he can feel a bit of movement in the floor beneath their feet.

He wraps his arm around his wife and pulls her away from the top of the stairs before she starts to descend.

"But-"

"In here," he cuts her off, taking her into the spare bedroom they have set up as an office with a large desk. He pushes her under the desk and quickly joins her. He wraps his arm around her and she shakes against him, her hatred of earthquakes a long known fact between them. Monty stays close, laying across their legs.

"It's okay. We're safe here," he assures her, tucking her head against his chest and ducking his own head over top hers. His free hand reaches to pet the still-whining dog in his lap.

She breathes hard against him, her fear palpable. Monty, he's pretty sure, is feeding off of Kensi's fear more than the situation itself. The floor is moving slightly, and he can hear items in the house shifting, but no major bangs to suggest damage. It's a small earthquake.

"We're going to be okay," he tells her. "It's almost over."

He continues whispering soothing words to her long after the floor stops shaking. Her breathing calms and she eventually relaxes against him.

Kensi eventually lifts her head and releases the death grip she has on his tee shirt.

"I really hate earthquakes."

He presses a kiss to her head. "I know."

"We really need to move somewhere where there aren't earthquakes…or are only small earthquakes."

"That was a small earthquake," he points out.

"Marty," she practically whines.

He wraps his arms around her in a comforting hug. "We're okay."

"If it had been bigger, do you know where the emergency supplies are? And the water? And the soylent? And-"

"I know where everything is," he soothes. "As do you." He presses another kiss to her head. "And if the big one ever does hit, we will be okay. And better off than most due to my wife's slightly obsessive preparedness."

"I still think we need more soylent-"

"Not a chance."

"Marty!"

"We have more than enough for you and me, and Monty, your mother…and pretty much the whole neighborhood."

"You can never be too prepared."

He smirks. "No, I can't, but you can."

"I just need to be…"

"Prepared. I know. And I love you for it," he tells her. "But we've already devoted a large enough portion of the basement to storing emergency supplies, okay? We're good."

She settles against him with a sigh. "Okay."

"Do you think you're up to coming out from under the desk with me?"

Kensi releases a laughing sob and nods against him.

Deeks eases his way out from under the desk, tugging his wife along with him. Monty follows, calmer now that Kensi is calmer.

When they're on their feet, Deeks brushes a few loose strands of hair from Kensi's face and leans in for a quick kiss.

She is quick to respond. Her hand reaches out and grasps onto the collar of his tee shirt. She deepens the kiss.

Deeks wraps his arms around Kensi's middle, tugging her closer so she is flush against him.

"What do you think?" He asks between kisses. "Should we go back to sleep or celebrate the fact that we're alive?"

Kensi doesn't answer verbally. She reaches her fingers under his shirt and along the waistband of his boxers.

"I like the way you think, Mrs. Deeks," he mumbles as they begin to move toward their bedroom.

00

 _Kensi was quiet as they rode the bus home. It was well after midnight, but she knew they weren't about to go home and go right to sleep. Dinner with Kip had been great. She had enjoyed getting to know the exuberant man Marty chose to call his brother._

 _She just hadn't seen the revelation about Marty staying in California for her coming._

 _Marty sat beside her, his hand gripping tightly to hers. He didn't know what to expect from her._

 _She didn't know herself how she felt._

 _They were more than halfway home when Deeks sighed. "I'm sorry, Kens."_

 _She tried to offer him an understanding smile, but didn't know how successful she was._

" _Why didn't you tell me?" She asked._

 _He ran a hand through his hair. "I… it's complicated."_

" _Marty," she whispered._

" _I know. I just… I'm trying to find the words."_

" _How about you start from the beginning? Tell me about this plan you and Kip had."_

" _It was us against the world," Deeks said. "We weren't expected to make anything of ourselves, so we made a pact to go to school and prove everyone wrong. We got separated a few times between foster homes. It was hard to keep track of each other. Kip got into some trouble and got behind in high school. I graduated first and stayed close for school in the hopes that he would join me here." He shook his head. "But neither of us could afford full tuition or qualify for a full student loan without a parent to co-sign. He got his act together in his last year of high school and started to have a bit of a growth spurt. Duke offered him an amazing scholarship to play basketball. He couldn't say no."_

" _So you ended up here and he ended up at Duke."_

 _Marty nodded and then hesitated for a moment before continuing. "Duke has a good law program. We changed our plan to be me applying to Duke for law school."_

" _And you were offered a scholarship. To the school you wanted to go to."_

" _Kensi." He sighed. "I made that plan with Kip in my second year. I started apply to law schools and scholarship funds in my fourth year…but I also met you."_

 _Kensi shook her head. "I remember when you got your acceptance here. I was so happy you weren't leaving." She huffed out a breath as she internally chastised herself. "I was stupid. I never even thought to ask about other schools, other applications. I thought you wanted to be here."_

" _I did want to be here," he insisted._

" _But you had a plan."_

 _He dropped her hand and turned in the seat to cup her face. "Kens, my plans changed when I met you." He brushed his thumbs along her cheeks. "In a good way. In the best way."_

 _She covered his hands with her own. "You could have told me. I could have gone with you. I could have transferred schools-"_

 _He dropped his hands from her face and pulled her close. "I love you so much for thinking that, Kens. But that wouldn't have been right. You weren't ready. Hell,_ we _weren't ready. You weren't even finished your first year when I got my acceptances. And even with time to respond…" He shook his head. "We weren't living together yet," he reminded. "We hadn't had any big talks, not really. You wouldn't have come with me, and it wouldn't have been fair to ask you to."_

 _Part of her wanted to argue, but the other part knew he was right. She remembered how she hadn't been ready to move in with him until the end of that first summer. And that was in the same town. There's no way she would have felt secure enough to move across the country with him months earlier. "Okay, but maybe we could have…figured it out."_

" _Long distance?" He held her a little tighter and she let him. "We would have failed. Neither of us could afford to travel back and forth across the country. We would never have seen each other. And we were still so new…"_

 _Kensi closed her eyes and allowed herself to take comfort from being in her husband's arms. He was right. She wouldn't have followed him that early in their relationship. And long distance would have killed them._

" _We're here, now. Together," he continued in her silence. "We're married. We have a future. Hell, Kens, we have a home to go to right now. All because we stayed together. I wouldn't change that for anything."_

 _She lifted her head away from his chest and offered him a soft smile. "I wouldn't either."_

 _He released a long breath, tension releasing from his body._

 _She met his eyes evenly, hers glistening with unshed tears. "Thank you for staying for me."_

 _He swallowed hard. "Kens…"_

" _Thank you for not leaving me," she added quietly._

" _Never," he whispered fiercely. "I would never leave you. I love you so much."_

 _She reached to cup his face. "I love you, too, Marty. Just…promise me no more secrets."_

" _No more secrets," he promised._

 _00_

Deeks glances at the time and frowns, wondering where his wife is.

He's been at work for over an hour. Kensi had left the house before him that morning saying she had to pick up a few things. She had promised to see him soon.

Callen and Sam had joined him at their desks about fifteen minutes earlier. The clock was now ticking down to the official start time.

"Where's your partner?" Callen asks.

Deeks forces a neutral expression to his face and shrugs. "Said she was running errands this morning. Should be here soon." He lifts his phone to check, but there are no missed messages.

He tries to get back to his paperwork. His attention is called away quickly by the arrival of his wife.

"Good morning!" She calls cheerfully.

He's glad to see her, but feels his expression narrow at the sight of the three large shopping bags in her hands.

"Now that is some serious retail therapy," Callen comments.

"Bad break up?" Sam asks.

Deeks chuffs a laugh, drawing Sam's attention. "Looks like a break up," he comments.

Kensi shoots them both a glare, playing her part easily. "You don't know that."

"Then what's up with the shopping spree?"

She clears her throat. "These are your personalized survival kits."

Deeks bites back a laugh as Kensi hands the first bag to Sam.

"Our what?"

She passes him a bag. "Survival kits."

"Survival kits?" He asks.

"Yes."

"You brought survival kits?" Callen asks as he accepts his bag.

"It's important to be prepared," Kensi answers.

"No offence, but survival kits are for urban sissies who don't know how to make a flotation device out of a pair of pants," Sam says as he begins to dig through his bag.

"Or how to extract the venom of a horned viper using only a twig and a shoelace," Callen piles on.

Deeks bites back a smile at the senior agents and their extreme examples. He chooses not to comment on their alleged MacGyver-ness and adds on his own example. "Or how to make a latte without soy milk."

Both Callen and Sam huff, as expected. Deeks begins to pull out the items his wife has selected for his survival kit and frowns. Beside him, Sam is examining an impressive looking knife. And across from him, Callen is looking through a small pack of supplies. Deeks pulls out sunscreen, chap stick and a blanket with arms.

"Last night's tremor made me realize you never know when the big one will hit," Kensi explains.

"There was an earthquake last night?" Callen asks.

Kensi nods. "At the crack of dawn. Shook us right out of bed. You guys didn't feel it?"

Deeks bites back a smile at his wife's mistake. As expected, both Callen and Sam also notice her use of the word 'us' instead of 'me.'

"Shook _us_ out of bed, huh?" Sam banters.

"Just who were you sharing a bed with?" Callen ribs in good nature.

Kensi's eyes widen slightly at her mistake. Then she glares at the guys. "I meant me."

Deeks is barely able to stifle his laugh. His wife is amazing. And her undercover skills are exceptional. But when she's not in danger or working a case, she cannot lie. He seriously wonders how she managed to pull off the single girl stories all this time.

"Really? Because normally when I mean _me_ I say me, not us," Sam ribs her with a smirk.

" _Me,_ too," Callen adds.

Kensi glares at him. "Shut up."

"So, this boyfriend of yours…" Callen starts, laughing at having caught Kensi in a clear lie.

"There's no boyfriend."

"Really, cause it sounds like there could be a boyfriend?" Deeks adds on, knowing it is expected of him.

Kensi mock glares at him.

"Deeks is right," Sam says. "It sounds like there's a boyfriend."

"There's no boyfriend," Kensi repeats. She catches Deeks eye and smiles. "I can promise there is no boyfriend."

Deeks smiles back. He knows Kensi loves it when she can tell the truth to Callen and Sam while also deceiving them. Because they'd never think to ask about a husband.

00

The case of the day involves a break in at the Marine base in Pendleton. Two masked men broke into a storage warehouse, clearly looking for something specific. They were caught before they found whatever it was they were looking for. One got away. The other was caught and shot in the leg by base security.

The team visits the warehouse and is unable to ascertain what had been the target of the theft attempt. According to Eric and Nell, back at Ops, there are usually around thirty-thousand crates in the warehouse.

Kensi spends what she is pretty sure to be the longest hour of her lift interrogating Bobby, the thief who was caught. Bobby rambles on and on about his life and his past. He blames his childhood on his current choices. He blames the marines for shooting him. He whines about his pain from being shot in the leg.

What he doesn't do is provide them with any useful information.

"Oh, my God," Kensi declares as she steps out of the interrogation room with Deeks on her heels. "I cannot take this anymore. This guy has been speaking non-stop for an hour."

"You should be used to that," Sam jokes, tilting his head towards Deeks.

"What? Was that aimed at me?" Deeks speaks up, rising to Sam's bait immediately. "Are you saying I talk too much? Is that what you're implying? Because I've never got that complaint before. Actually, people say I don't talk enough. They say you're really charming; you should talk more-"

"Of course they do," Kensi cuts him off, knowing he will continue until stopped.

Deeks raises an eyebrow at her. She rolls her eyes, but smiles. She knows he is raising to Sam's bait to make a point.

Callen and Sam make a plan to use a previously effective trick to get Bobby to talk.

Kensi and Deeks sit together at the table to watch the video feed of the senior partners at work.

Within minutes they have Bobby talking.

"Impressive," Deeks comments.

"They've been partners a long time," Kensi answers. "They know each other pretty well."

"As well as us?"

She snorts a laugh. "Seeing as Sam is married, I certainly hope not."

Deeks chuckles. "I didn't mean it that way."

She keeps laughing. "For the record, no, I don't think they know each other as well as us. But still pretty well for being partners."

"So almost as well as you knowing me so well to buy me sunscreen and chap stick? And a blanket with arms?"

Kensi laughs again. "I had to get something to give you in front of the team. Plus, you like sunscreen and chap stick. A lot."

"And the weird blanket?"

"It's called a slanket. A blanket with sleeves. Slanket."

"And why would I need a slanket?"

"To keep warm," she tells him. "It lets you stay covered while using your arms." She waves her arms around for effect.

Her husband chuckles. "Why would I need a slanket that is clearly made for one when I have you to keep me warm?"

She feels her heart warm at his words. "Maybe we can share it?"

"One sleeve each?"

She laughs at the thought. Before she can respond, Callen and Sam exit the interrogation room and rejoin them.

Bobby has given up the name of the other thief, his boss, Stan King.

A little research shows Stan King is a known art thief who the FBI has been after for years. He's careful and cunning, and no one has ever been able to find enough proof to arrest him.

Not knowing what an art thief is doing breaking into a marine base, the team hatch a plan to get closer to Stan King.

00

Deeks doesn't like the thought of his wife going undercover with Stan King without immediate back up, but agrees with the team's assessment of the situation. King is a known art thief, but isn't thought to be dangerous. It won't be easy to get close to him, but Kensi is their best shot.

Kensi is also excited to be playing a career thief. She had been nothing but professional during the planning stages and direction from Hetty. But now that she has changed into an all-black outfit, complete with a concealed harness, she is clearly happy with her assignment.

He watches with amusement as she practically bounces on the balls of her feet as she takes in her refection. She catches sight of him in the reflection and smirks.

Deeks makes his way over to the dressing area to join his wife.

"You look very stealthy," he tells her.

"Hetty said I get to break into his house through his skylight," she responds eagerly.

"My wife is a bad ass."

She beams back at him.

"Though I'm a little concerned with your enthusiasm for being a thief. Is there something you need to tell me?"

She mock glares at him, but can't hide her smile for long. "When you used to go undercover, I worked as a thief. Kind of miss the life now," she deadpans.

Deeks laughs. "Well, at least you have the experience to pull this off."

She pulls off the assignment well. She breaks into King's house via the skylight and gets into the safe just in time to be caught by King, which was the plan. She tells him she's a friend of Bobby's. She tells him Bobby owes her money, so she had broken into King's place to collect what King owed Bobby. King eventually accepts her story and asks to be taken to Bobby.

The team had put a ton of work into Kensi's undercover persona and backstory. Unfortunately, they had not looked deep enough into King's backstory. If they had, they would have known his partners had a habit of winding up dead. They would have known their assessment of him not being very dangerous was wrong.

Kensi finds this out the hard way when King shoots and kills Bobby right in front of her.

Deeks hears the shot and then Kensi's sharp inhalation of surprise through the comms.

"Eric what happened?" Callen calls. The three guys are staked out around the house where the meeting is taking place. They have all heard the shot.

" _King just shot Bobby_ ," Eric responds over the comms. He's watching the video feed from Ops.

"Shit," Deeks mumbles.

" _W-why did you shoot him?"_ He hears Kensi ask. He knows the question is Kensi telling the team she is okay and what happened, but he can't help but recognize the wobble in her voice.

" _The job has its hazards,"_ King responds coldly before telling Kensi he will contact her later. He leaves quickly.

Deeks rushes to his partner the moment the scene is clear of King.

Kensi is visibly shaken, her fingers searching Bobby's neck for a pulse. She looks up at his approach and shakes her head. "He's dead."

"There was nothing you could have done differently," he tells her.

She half nods and he knows she trying to keep her emotions in check. He wants to reach out to her, but she has her arms wrapped around her torso. It's clear she wants some distance. He knows from experience that she needs to look strong in front of the team and will accept his support later.

"You okay?"

"I didn't even have time to react."

"That's because it came out of nowhere."

"But I should have seen it coming. My instincts are off. I completely misjudged King."

"We all did," he insists.

"I should have seen it coming. I could have stopped it."

He steps forward and reaches for her hand. He's just not able to offer her some physical support. He squeezes tight. "No one saw this coming. There was nothing you could have done to stop it."

She nods absently, still staring at Bobby's body. Then she nods again, and turns her attention to Deeks. "Thank you."

"Of course." He offers her an encouraging smile. "We'll get this guy."

00

Even though they have King committing murder on video, they need to know what King was trying to steal from the base warehouse so they are forced to let the situation play out longer.

Deeper research suggests King has been hired by a Chinese national who had been working with the state department. He had been deported for trying to steal information, but his belongings are still being held in the base warehouse for forensic review.

Kensi goes to meet King at his home when he calls to say he has a job for her. Knowing her team is nearby and ready to react if needed makes her feel for secure. She cannot completely hide her feeling of distrust for King, but it serves her undercover persona well.

She meets King and asks about the job.

He puts her off a few times as he walks her through the house to the backyard, and she realizes he's stalling for time.

To her surprise, more people show up. King's girlfriend and a pair of known thieves that Eric tells her over the comms are tied to King's past.

Kensi keeps her distance near the pool as King greets the newcomers. He then sends them inside and walks back towards Kensi.

She is immediately suspicious of his motives, but feels more secure out in the open than going inside.

"Didn't realize this was a party," she says as he reaches her.

"It's not," he responds.

Before she can say anything else, he moves quickly towards her. She immediately moves to block his approach, but she had assumed a physical attack. She is unprepared when he shoves her backwards into the pool.

She struggles underwater for several moments until she surfaces with a gasp. She knows the team will be on their way in, but her comm is no longer working.

Beside her, King surfaces as well. "Stay down," he calls out. He takes a deep breath and goes back under the water, dragging her with him.

Kensi manages to inhale a gasp of air before she is pulled back under the water. She struggles against King, but stops when there is a loud noise above the waterline. A concussive force kicks through the water. Something hits her in the back. And then she realizes debris is falling into the pool.

Unable to wait any longer without oxygen, she swims upwards and inhales a gulping breath as she breaks the surface. The air is scorching and burns at her throat as she continues to gasp for air.

"We have to hurry," King says from beside her. He is tugging at her arm.

"Let go of me," she wretches her arm out of his grasp. She is confused and disoriented and doesn't want him near her. The smoke is clearing and she can see the remains of his house beside the pool. She realizes the house has blown up.

King doesn't let go. He pulls her towards the other end of the pool and then releases her.

Kensi breathes a little easier now that he feet can touch the bottom of the pool.

"What did you do?" She demands.

"Tied up some loose ends. Now we have to go."

"I'm not going anywhere with you."

"Look, Lisa," he demands, still calling her by her undercover persona. "If I wanted you dead, you'd be dead." He waves his hand towards his ravaged house. "I told you I have a job for you."

Kensi knows her team will be on their way to her, but cautious of more explosive devices, so it may take them a few minutes to get to her. She also recalls Hetty's insistence on the importance of finding out what King was after.

"This isn't exactly what I signed up for," she hisses at him, trying to get her head back into playing her undercover character.

"It'll be worth it when we're done," King tells her.

"It better be," she responds as she follows him to the stairs out of the pool.

What follows next is a well-planned escape route laid out by King. He has dry clothes and supplies stashed in the woods a half mile south of his home. He also has an ATV ready to take him and Kensi far away on back fire roads. After an hour, they end up at a remote hiking area. In the parking lot, King has an SUV with more supplies.

She accepts the bottle of water he hands her from the trunk. "You going to tell me the plan now?"

He nods. "I am."

00

Deeks is having a bad day.

He's been worried about his wife and partner all day. First he had thought she had been shot, then blown up, and now she has been out of contact for hours with the bad guy.

On top of that, it's getting late and he's tired. He had only gotten a few hours of sleep the night before when the earthquake had interrupted the early hours of the morning.

All he had wanted was an early night with his wife.

Now all he wants is to get his wife out of this safely.

The team determines that if King had wanted Kensi dead, she would have been killed in the explosion. The fact that he saved her by pushing her into the pool and then took her with him tells them he needs her for her skills for a second attempt at breaking into the base.

They stake out the base warehouse in the hopes of catching King in the act and extracting Kensi safely.

They are three hours into the stakeout when King finally shows up. Kensi is with him.

Deeks watches from afar as they enter the warehouse and make their way through the aisles looking for the Chinese national's belongings. The plan had been to let King get what he was looking for and corner him on the way out when his guard would be lowered.

From what he can see, Kensi isn't injured. She is perfectly playing her role of helping King break into the warehouse.

They disappear in the aisles, but Eric continues to watch on subtly placed cameras. He provides updates.

"Okay. King took something out of one of the boxes. They're on their way back to you now."

Deeks breathes a sigh of relief that this day is nearly over. He moves into position, flanking King and Kensi. Callen and Sam are going to approach head on. Deeks's job is to close in behind.

King and Kensi walk carefully down a hallway. Deeks follows silently.

"They have to turn at the end of the hallway," Deeks whispers into his comm.

" _Perfect. That will lead them right to us,_ " Sam says.

" _There are a few Humvees about half way down. We'll stop them after they pass the vehicles,_ " Callen says.

"Noted. I'll get Kensi out."

He turns the corner right after King and Kensi, but takes the inside path. Kensi is trailing a bit behind King, keeping her distance. Deeks knows that Kensi knows the team is here and will be stepping in any moment.

Kensi drops back a bit further behind King, and then turns her head and meets Deeks's eyes. She looks relieved to see him.

He nods and motions towards himself, urging her close.

She shakes her head.

He understands what she is telling him. King will know something is off immediately if she stops following him. And he's armed and not afraid to shoot.

Deeks holds up his gun. Kensi nods. He gets as close as he can and tosses it to her. She catches it without making a sound.

He ducks down to pull his spare from his ankle holster and then continues to follow at a distance.

"Kensi is staying with King," he whispers into his comm. "She's armed."

" _Noted_ ," comes Callen's response.

King and Kensi make their way through the last set of Humvees. Once clear, Callen and Sam make their appearance.

"Freeze!" Callen calls out as he and Sam step into sight. "Federal agents!"

"Put your hands up where we can see them!" Sam adds.

King very carefully begins to lift his hands. Behind him, Kensi raises Deeks's gun to point at him.

"You good, Kens?" Callen calls.

"Better now."

King turns to look at Kensi and sighs. "Oh, man." He drops his bag, but considers Kensi for a moment. His eyes land on the gun in her hands.

"Don't even think about it," she threatens. "I won't hesitate to shoot you. Just like you didn't hesitate to shoot Bobby."

"I'd listen to my partner if I were you," Deeks says. Having snuck up behind King, he has the element of surprise. He presses his spare weapon against the back of King's head. King hangs his head in defeat.

Deeks shoves his spare gun into the back waistband of his jeans and then reaches for King's hands one at a time to handcuff him.

Callen and Sam step forward to take over control of King.

"Nice toss, partner," Kensi calls, handing him back his gun.

"Nice catch." He cocks his head. She looks tired, but unharmed. "You good?"

"Good now, thanks to you."

00

Kensi sighs as her brain finds wakefulness. She mumbles her discontent at being woken up.

"Kens," Deeks whispers.

She groans and then scrunches her face as something rough tickles her cheek.

"Kensi…" He murmurs again, closer this time, as he begins to pepper kisses along her cheek.

She swats half-heartedly at him. "Sleeping."

He exhales against her, the warmth of his breath a comfort against her neck. His arms wrap around her, pulling her against him. Kensi feels her mind begin to drift back to sleep.

"See? Sleeping…" She mumbles.

"Yes, but can't we sleep in bed?"

"What?" She struggles to open her eyes. The television is on across the room. The light from the screen reflects off the framed photos displayed in the bookshelf beside the TV table. As awareness filters into her mind, she realizes she is partially upright and tucked into Marty's equally upright body on the couch. "Couch," she mumbles.

"Yup."

She sighs and closes her eyes for another moment. "What time is it?"

"Dark."

She chuckles. "That's not a time."

"Best I can offer," he responds, pressing his face into her neck. "Still dark out, not morning yet."

"We should go to bed."

"You don't sound so sure."

"I'm not. But we'll be sore in the morning if we don't."

"Mm-kay," he agrees, but makes no move to get up.

"You're not moving," she accuses.

"Neither are you," he shoots back.

She huffs and then very slowly sits upright on the couch. She remembers getting home late with her husband. They had settled on the couch with takeout and beer and-

"Oh," she complains, her eyes on the television. "We didn't stay up until the end of Top Model."

Deeks groans as he sits up beside her. His arm slings around her waist and his weight sags against her. She's not sure if he's supporting her or himself. "We weren't even watching it live," he says between yawns. "You can re-watch it tomorrow night."

She sighs and leans into him. "Will you watch it with me again?"

He grumbles something undecipherable under his breath and then presses a kiss to her cheek. "Of course."

"You're pretty perfect, you know?"

He chuckles and kisses her again. "I know."

Kensi laughs out loud. She pats him on the knee. "Bed."

"Yes." He struggles to his feet beside her and the two of them make their way up the stairs to their bedroom.

Kensi practically collapses onto the bed. She still doesn't know what time it is, but she knows she hasn't slept long enough. The previous day had been long and stressful.

Marty slips into bed beside her and slings his arm over her waist.

She shuffles closer and sighs.

"I was scared yesterday," he whispers.

She knows from experience that its harder to be the one not undercover than the one undercover. She knows he spent minutes thinking she could have been blown up followed by hours not knowing if she was okay. But she also knows that she's okay. They have to learn to do this together.

"Me, too," she tells him. "That earthquake was terrifying."

"The-?" He cuts himself off, and then he laughs.

She laughs with him.

He pulls her close and captures her lips in a quick kiss. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too, Marty. So much."

00

The following day starts out quietly. The team is able to get a start on some paperwork while bantering good naturedly.

Unfortunately, a case comes up quickly and the day proves to be just as crazy as the day before.

Ollie Drewett, a rocket design engineer, is killed in his satellite test chamber. The chamber was designed to test a satellite's ability to handle being launched into space. The oxygen is sucked out of the room, the temperature plummets and then heats up for over four hundred and fifty degrees. The engineer was trapped in the chamber with the rocket.

There is urgency because the satellite is still scheduled to launch that afternoon. The satellite itself holds classified technology which needs not to land in the wrong hands.

The team hurries out to the company where the accident took place to investigate.

Eric is sent in on his first undercover assignment as an FAA inspector.

Kensi and Deeks are speaking with Ollie Drewett's co-workers when they receive an urgent phone call from Hetty. Eric is stuck in the test chamber and it is beginning to initialize the test process. With barely a glance towards each other, they take off running towards the warehouse that holds the test chamber. But they're not close and they both know they're not going to make it in time to save Eric, no matter how fast they run. It doesn't stop them from running as fast as they can, though.

Thankfully, Callen and Sam are much closer. They manage to manually shut down the chamber and begin to drag Eric out by the time Kensi and Deeks arrive.

"Is he okay?" Kensi calls.

"He's alive," Sam responds. His arms are hooked under Eric's armpits as he drags the semi-conscious tech across the floor.

"M'okay," Eric stammers.

Deeks spots a rolling desk chair and pushes it towards Sam. "Here. Let's get him seated."

Together, the team manoeuvres Eric into the chair. He's pale and shaky, but breathing and conscious.

"What the hell happened?" Callen asks.

"I was just looking in the chamber when the door closed. And then it…started."

"What did you touch?"

"Nothing. I didn't touch anything."

Callen sighs. "Okay, Eric. Something more is going on here. I'm going to call you an ambulance and-"

"No." Eric speaks up. "I want to stay. I can help."

"We'll stay with him, make sure he doesn't get into too much trouble," Deeks offers.

Kensi nods immediately. "We're done with the interviews anyway. They aren't leading anywhere."

"Okay. Let us know immediately if anything else happens."

"We will."

Callen steps away to call into Ops.

Sam stays at Eric's side to check his vitals. Kensi and Deeks stay out of the way, but keep close, as Sam determines Eric is doing okay.

"Okay, Hetty's on board with you sticking around a little longer," Callen tells Eric as he rejoins the team.

Eric nods. He's already a lot less shaky than he had been just minutes earlier.

"Try not to get frozen or melted again," Sam tells him, trying to make a joke.

Eric attempts a smile but it falls short.

"It's called being frelted," Deeks speaks up, knowing Eric needs a bigger push.

This time Eric's tension dissipates dramatically as he sighs. "I hate that word."

Sam huffs at Deeks's joke, but also sends him an encouraging smile. He recognizes the positive effect on Eric.

"You guys good here if Sam and I head back to look into other suspects?" Callen asks.

"We're good," Kensi answers for them.

Deeks nods his agreement. "We'll keep Beale out of trouble."

Callen and Sam leave. After making sure Eric really is okay, Kensi and Deeks allow him to get back to work by hacking into the computer system.

They give Eric some space, but stick close, not wanting the tech to be in harm's way.

Deeks sits down the table from Eric, and is joined by his wife after she completes a perimeter check of the room. Eric doesn't acknowledge her return, his focus entirely on the computer screen in front of him.

"Eric good?" Kensi asks quietly.

Deeks shrugs and offers her a soft smile. "Doubt he'd notice if he wasn't right now."

Kensi smiles back. "He's not even blinking."

"Right?" He huffs a laugh. "It's a little unnerving. Makes me wonder how he ever figured out…" He trails off and motions between the two of them.

Kensi huffs a laugh and nods. "Maybe we can find out."

They continue to discuss the case until they receive an update from Callen and Sam. Again, Eric doesn't flinch. It's another ten minutes before the tech turns from the computer with a sigh.

"There's nothing to find here," he tells them. "There was no system malfunction. Whatever causes the test chamber to activate is not coming from this system."

"Alright," Deeks accepts the tech's analysis.

"Is there another system to check?" Kensi asks.

Eric shakes his head. "Not that I know of. They're running a closed, independent system. It wouldn't make sense for them to have another system because they wouldn't be able to use both together."

Deeks nods along, understanding only the basics of what Eric is telling them, but trusting he knows what he's talking about.

"Okay, so we've hit a wall," Kensi says, "Where to look next?"

Deeks knows his wife is talking out loud to herself more than speaking to them, but Eric doesn't.

"I can look again," Eric offers. "I doubt there's anything more to find, but-"

"We trust your assessment, Eric," Kensi cuts him off.

Deeks nods. "If there was anything to find, you would have found it." He smirks at the tech. "You've proven you're good at figuring things out."

Eric looks startled to be called out like this. He clears his throat. "I don't know what you're talking about?" His voice is surprisingly even, but his eyes flicker back and forth between Kensi and Deeks.

Kensi laughs out loud. "Sure you don't."

"Look, I don't know anything," Eric says. "And I'm not going to tell anyone anything."

"If you don't know anything, what would you know to tell?" Kensi challenges.

Deeks smiles. His wife is exceptionally good at this.

"Look, this is none of my business," Eric says. "I haven't told anyone what I saw, and I won't."

Deeks exchanges a look with his wife. "What you saw?" He asks.

Eric looks uncomfortable. "Back in February…when you were in the hospital. I went to visit you, but…" His eyes land on Kensi for a long moment before moving back to Deeks. "You weren't alone."

Deeks meets Kensi's eyes and raises an eyebrow.

Kensi scrunches her nose and turns back to Eric. "That's how you found out?"

Eric looks unnerved by how not-upset Kensi is. "Uh, well, I guess?" He shakes his head. "But I'm not going to say anything," he says again. "It's none of my business if you're dating."

Kensi and Deeks exchange another look. Kensi smirks at him. Deeks smiles back.

"We don't care who knows," Kensi says, looking back to Eric.

"And we're not dating," Deeks adds.

Kensi nods along and smiles. "I haven't dated him in nearly a decade."

Eric looks somewhat puzzled by Kensi's response.

"Look, Eric," Kensi starts, suddenly serious. "We've worked together a long time."

"Almost four years," Eric says.

Kensi nods. "And we all hide a piece of ourselves in this job. In my case, Hetty required more."

Eric looks between them again. "You knew each other before? Ten years ago?"

"We've known each other for almost eleven years," Deeks speaks up.

"And you used to date?"

Kensi looks to Deeks and them smiles at Eric. "Technically, yes. We used to date. Until we got married."

00


	45. Plan B - Part I

_**AN: Really enjoyed writing this chapter. What was 2-3 flashbacks in my head turned into a series of much longer than normal flashbacks about Deeks's past with Ray and Nicole. That being said, a few readers have voiced concerns with what might have happened between Deeks and Nicole. Be assured that Deeks loves his wife and nothing happened between him and Nicole.**_

 _ **Also, I'm a little confused about the background for this episode – Deeks made Ray his informant 5 years ago, but Ray met Nicole 3 years ago and Deeks 'covered for him.' (Deeks's words). So, where has Ray been all this time? Working undercover for Deeks? If that's so, why did Deeks stop being undercover and Ray didn't? Has Ray been working undercover to bring down Sanders all this time? And if so, when did NCIS become involved? And if Ray met Nicole 3 years ago, which was 2 years after Deeks was undercover, how did Deeks meet Nicole?**_ __ _ **Anyway, I've simplified the storyline as best I can.**_

 _ **Also, I really like the character of Eric, but I do struggle to write him as easily as most of the others. If the conversation between him and Kensi/Deeks is off, please let me know. I'd love suggestions/feedback.**_

00

Episode 2.22 – Plan B. Part I.

 _Kensi looks to Deeks and them smiles at Eric. "Technically, yes. We used to date. Until we got married."_

Eric's jaw actually drops. Not far, but the effect is still there. "You were married?"

" _Are_ ," Deeks corrects. "We are married."

"But…" Eric trails off.

Deeks reaches a hand towards his wife. She moves towards him. Instead of taking his hand, she ducks under his arm. He rests his hand on her far shoulder and turns back to Eric.

The tech stares suspiciously at them like he's not sure if they're joking with him.

"You know, it's not nice to try to trick the guy who almost died an hour ago."

Deeks huffs a laugh. "Not trying to trick you."

"Not anymore," Kensi says.

Eric considers them carefully for a moment. "You're really married?"

"Yes," Kensi answers.

"But…what about all the…" He trails off with a glance towards Deeks.

"The what?" Kensi asks.

Eric looks somewhat uncomfortable. "It's just…you used to tell stories…"

Kensi laughs. "The dating stories?"

Eric glances towards Deeks again, and then back to Kensi. Deeks understands now that the tech was worried about saying something possibly incriminating about Kensi in front of him.

"We have nothing to hide from each other," Deeks speaks up.

Beside him, Kensi nods. "I made those up," she tells Eric. "Well, most of them. Some are based on true events."

Eric stares at them for a moment. "You said you dated a law student in college," he recalls.

"I did. Then I married him."

Eric looks like he's starting to believe them. "How long?"

"It'll be nine years in August," Deeks answers.

"And no one knows?"

"Hetty knows," Kensi says. "She asked me to keep it a secret when I started. Now we're allowed to tell the team when we want."

"That's it?"

"Nate knows," Deeks adds. He smiles at the memory of the operational psychologist finding out.

"Callen and Sam?"

"Have no idea," Deeks answers.

Kensi huffs a laugh. "They are being surprisingly dense about this."

"But…how does it work? I mean, you must have to…"

"We're careful to stagger our arrival at work," Kensi says. "And we can't both bring the same leftovers for lunch. Have to be careful about talking about weekend plans and such."

Eric looks sympathetic. "That must be exhausting; having to hide who you are at work. I mean, you work undercover, so you already have to hide. But-"

Deeks feels his wife soften beside him. "It is exhausting," she admits to Eric. She leans into Deeks. "I've had to hide who I really am since I started. But this last year…" She glances at Deeks and then back to Eric. "It's not easy."

Deeks turns his head to brush a kiss to Kensi's temple. He's exhausted, too.

"When are you going to tell everyone else?"

"That's a good question," Kensi says. "We waited for a reason…but now…" She glances at Deeks again and then back to Eric. "We only get one chance to do this. We want to make sure we do it right."

Eric glances between them for a moment before shrugging. "Well, I think it's great."

Deeks feels Kensi exhale in relief. He, too, feels relief.

Eric looks somewhat sheepish. "Sorry, if that wasn't clear. Nine years… I guess it's too late to say congratulations? But the nine-year later equivalent… Uh…I'm happy for you both?"

Deeks chuffs a laugh. Beside him, Kensi laughs out loud. "Thank you, Eric."

Eric pauses for a moment. "You don't have kids, do you?"

"No," Deeks answers.

"Not yet," Kensi adds.

Deeks feels his heart swell like it does every time he is reminded that his amazing wife does, in fact, want to have children with him. He is reminded just how lucky he is and how much he has to look forward to in the future.

"We do have a dog," Deeks says. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and flips through the photos to find one of the three of them. He hands the phone to Eric. "Monty."

Eric studies the photo and smiles. "He looks more like you, Deeks."

Kensi laughs so loud at Eric's unexpected joke that she snorts. Eric smiles, glad his joke was taken well.

Deeks rolls his eyes in good nature. He's happy to be the butt of the joke every time if it makes his wife happy like this.

Eric motions to the photo. "Is that your house?"

The photo Deeks had found was the one taken by Kensi's mother on the day they bought their house. Kensi and Deeks are standing together on the front porch with Monty.

"Yeah. We bought it in the fall."

"Wow. That's…wow." He passes the phone back to Deeks. "I really am happy for you, Kensi."

"Thank you, Eric. You should come over for dinner or something. See the house, meet Monty."

Eric nods. "I'd like that." Then he smiles. "And I can't say I don't like knowing something that Sam and Callen don't."

Deeks laughs out loud before he can help it. Then Kensi and Eric join in. It feels good to laugh with part of the team.

It feels even better to spend a few minutes at work without hiding anything. He could get used to this.

00

They do manage to have Eric over for dinner the next week.

Deeks cooks, with minimal participation by Kensi. A fact both men know to be grateful for.

Eric studies the many framed photos Kensi and Deeks have displayed. He laughs at the pictures of their Halloween costumes and takes extra time to study their wedding photo.

Dinner is good. The conversation is better. For the first time, Kensi and Deeks are able to be themselves in front of a co-worker. They are away from work and in their own home. Eric laughs as Kensi recalls many times she has fooled Callen and Sam with true statements.

After dinner, Eric takes a good look at their security system and offers some suggestions. Trusting the tech knows what he's talking about, Kensi and Deeks make a list of parts to order. Eric, of course, offers to return any time to install.

Deeks enjoys having a normal evening. He enjoys even more how happy his wife is. She seems freer than he has seen her.

They had agreed to wait no later than July to tell the team about them. That's still three months away, and he thinks maybe he's going to suggest they say something sooner rather than later.

00

As April turns to May, Deeks is pulled away from NCIS part time for trial prep with the LAPD. Most of his cases either already went to trial or ended in plea deals, so he has very few left to go to trial.

Five years earlier he had been undercover to infiltrate an arms ring. He had taken down most of the key players during the case. He has also bumped into a childhood friend, who he had turned into his informant to keep him from going to jail. One of the main players he hadn't been able to take down, Nelson Saunders, had continued to stay on the LAPD's radar until recently when he stole a shipment of weapons on route to Camp Pendleton. Now the LAPD, with the help of NCIS, had enough to take him to trial.

Deeks's childhood friend, Ray, was called to testify.

Deeks walks into the meeting room at his precinct. Ray is sitting at the conference table, looking decidedly unhappy. There are two other cops and a representative from the prosecutor's office already there.

"Hey, man," Marty greets.

"Marty, thank God." Ray stands. "Someone who actually knows what he's doing."

Deeks sends an apologetic glance towards the other cops. He knows Ray has reasons not to trust cops; both good and bad.

"I'm sure everything is okay," Deeks says, motioning for Ray to sit. He takes the seat next to him.

The representative from the prosecutor's office is sitting across the table. She looks decidedly frustrated. "I was just explaining the process for Mr. Martindale, here, to be taken into Witness Protection after he testifies."

"I need to know he's been convicted before I go anywhere," Ray speaks up. "I'm not going before the trial ends."

The lawyer sighs. "Mr. Martidale…"

"Actually, that's part of the agreement," Deeks speaks up. "The Marshalls have agreed to provide protection during the entirety of the trial. And afterwards, my team is putting something together to make it appear as if Ray has been killed."

"Is that really necessary?"

Deeks nods before Ray can speak up. "With Nelson Sanders? Absolutely. There are at least a dozen hits we know Sanders ordered but don't have enough hard evidence to charge him for."

The lawyer sighs again. "If there are additional crimes committed by Sanders, my office should know about it."

"They do," Deeks answers as calmly as he can. "It's all in the file."

This time she huffs. "In that case, he should be tried for everything."

"Not if we can't make it stick. We go with the charges we have hard evidence to support. Anything else will only complicate matters in court. And we cannot afford to have this guy go free."

"Oh, are you a lawyer now?" She asks sarcastically. "Or just playing one undercover?"

Deeks forces himself to take a deep breath before responding. "I am a lawyer. Won a few cases against your office, actually. Because charges were laid without enough evidence to convict. And that's on you guys, not us," he says, referring to himself and his fellow cops. "I became a cop because this is a better way to help people. So, I know what I'm talking about and I would appreciate if you can accept that."

He pauses and glances at Ray. "This is my informant, who I am responsible for. He's helped us take down several really bad guys. And he's about to help us take down this really bad guy. So, he deserves to be treated with respect. His safety is important. So, to answer your question, yes. This is all really necessary."

The lawyer stares at him for a long moment. Deeks raises an eyebrow, challenging her to argue. She nods curtly and turns back to Ray. "Let's go over your statement. Take me back to when this all began."

Deeks listens and makes suggestions where it is needed. He feels his mind somber at the reminder of his past with Ray.

00

 _Marty shifted uncomfortably as sweat built along his lower back, under the thick fabric of his sweatshirt. The plastic seats of the school bus were not helping him to feel any cooler in the hot weather. Beside him, his friend Ray glanced over at him._

" _It's a hundred degrees, Marty. Why are you wearing a sweatshirt?"_

 _Marty shrugged. "I was cold."_

" _Bullshit," Ray swore._

 _Marty flinched slightly at the word. He was only ten. Ray, a whole year older than him, was more comfortable using bad words._

" _Ray…"_

" _What did he do this time?"_

 _Marty sighed and tugged his sleeve up over his right forearm, revealing the white cast. "I was too loud," he whispered._

 _Ray scoffed. "That bastard."_

 _Marty flinched again at the language, but he appreciated Ray's support._

 _Ray understood._

" _We gotta protect ourselves, Marty," Ray said._

" _We're going to be better than them," Deeks responded. It was a long agreed upon pact they had made; to be better than their fathers._

 _00_

 _At eleven, Marty was not much more comfortable with foul language. Probably because his father used it all the time._

 _Still, Ray was his best friend. He didn't mind his language much anymore._

 _It was early afternoon when the doorbell rang. Marty's father had just left the house a few minutes ago. Marty hoped he would be gone all day._

 _He listened as his mother opened the door and then called his name._

" _Marty! Ray is here."_

 _Marty hurried to the door. Ray was standing in the hall with his backpack on._

" _I-I was hoping you could help me with some homework?" Ray said._

 _Marty was confused. He knew he was smart – his teacher's often said so – but Ray was a whole grade above him. He doubted he could help. Still, he led Ray to his room. His room is small and sparse. He has a twin bed, an old dresser and a small desk. With others he may have been embarrassed, but he knew Ray didn't have any more than him._

" _What type of homework?" Marty asked._

" _I lied about the homework," Ray said. "I didn't want your mom to be suspicious." He swung off his backpack. "I have something for you."_

" _For me?"_

 _Ray nodded. "Buy you can't tell anyone. I waited for your dad to leave the house so he wouldn't catch us."_

 _Deeks gasped when Ray pulled out a handgun._

" _Is that a gun?" He whispered fiercely._

 _Ray nodded. "Got one for each of us."_

" _From where?"_

" _My cousin." Ray had a much older cousin who he saw each time his mother took him away from his father to stay with her sister. They never stayed away long. "I think he's in a gang."_

 _Marty was afraid to touch the gun, but Ray didn't seem to notice._

" _This is the safety," Ray said. "You turn it off like this." He showed Marty. "But make sure it's on if you're not going to use it."_

" _I don't know if this is a good idea," Marty said._

 _Ray sighed and looked him in the eye. "Your dad is getting worse," he said._

 _Marty looked away with a sniff. His father had hurt him and his mom a lot in the last year._

" _You gotta be able to stand up for yourself. You remember what happened to Stephen?"_

 _Marty nodded. They had been in school with Stephen for years when he suddenly stopped coming to class. The rumour was his father had killed his mother, and now Stephen was in foster care._

" _Use it if you need to," Ray said. He held the gun out to Marty._

 _Marty hesitated, but then reached out for the gun. The metal was cool under his fingers. It was heavier than he had expected._

" _Always shoot first," Ray said. "That's what my cousin says. Never shoot back. Always shoot first."_

 _It became their catchphrase._

 _At least, for a few months._

 _00_

 _Marty was shaking and afraid as he sat on his front porch._

 _Red and blue lights flickered in the darkness, from the many cop cars in front of his house. One of the cops had given him a blanket after both his parents were taken away in ambulances, but he was still cold._

" _Marty!" He heard his best friend scream his name._

 _A pair of uniformed cops tried to stop the twelve-year-old from getting close to the house, but Ray dodged and swung his fists and got through._

" _Marty!" He yelled again. "Are you okay? What happened?"_

" _Ray," he cried, hugging his best friend. "I did it. I shot him."_

 _Ray tensed in surprise, but hugged Mary back. "Good for you. I wish I could be that brave."_

 _The cops who had tried to stop Ray approached them, but stopped, giving the boys a moment. Marty knew they wouldn't have long._

" _Thank you," he said to Ray. "He was going to kill us. If it wasn't for you…"_

" _You're my best friend, Marty."_

" _You, too." He pulled back from the hug and then ducked his head to whisper. "I won't tell the cops where I got the gun. I promise."_

" _Thank you."_

 _The cops started to move closer and Marty knew their time was just about up. "You should go. Before you get in trouble."_

 _Ray nodded. "I'll see you soon, Marty."_

 _00_

 _It was two years before he saw his best friend again. Thirteen-year-old Marty was shy and dejected after spending two years being shuffled between foster homes. Fourteen-year-old Ray was boisterous and carefree; at least on the outside._

 _Marty wound up in a foster home near his old house, and quickly went in search of the friend he had only spoken with on the phone a few times in the last two years._

 _Ray brought him back out of his shell. He dragged Marty to parties and introduced him to girls. He reminded him there were still people in the world who cared about him. Marty was a calming influence on Ray, reminding the older boy he didn't have to pretend to be something he wasn't._

 _At fourteen, Marty was moved again. After six months, he ran away and made his way to Ray's house. He stayed two days before his social worker found him._

 _For the next year, he ran away when he felt like it. Ray was always welcoming. At fifteen, they went to a party and got drunk. On the way home, they passed a Camaro with the doors unlocked. Ray told Marty to get in. He wanted to teach him how to hotwire a car._

 _Marty doesn't remember the lesson. But he remembers being caught and arrested. He remembers Ray's nerves as he waited for his father to pick him up. He remembers spending almost two days waiting for his own social worker to bail him out._

 _He learned his lesson._

 _A month later, he returned to Ray's house, but Ray wasn't there. His mother had finally left Ray's father for good. Marty assumed they were at Ray's cousin's house, but he didn't know where that was._

 _It was a long time before he saw his friend again._

 _00_

 _Deeks had spent two glorious weeks playing Max Gentry, low-life-extraordinaire, when he stumbled across his former best friend. He was in the middle of being introduced to some key players when Ray stepped onto the scene._

 _Ray met his eyes and Deeks saw immediate recognition there, despite the years that had passed. Knowing his cover could be blown to smithereens in just moments, he moved forward._

" _Ray!" he greeted. "It's me, Max." He pointed to himself. "Haven't seen you in years, man."_

 _Ray shook his hand with a slightly suspicious look, but played along. "Good to see you, Max."_

" _We grew up in the same shitty neighborhood," Deeks announced, making sure his mark was paying attention and wasn't suspicious. "Haven't seen him since I moved to Florida." It was part of his undercover persona's background that he was from Florida, but had spent part of his childhood in Los Angeles, explaining why he was familiar with the area._

 _Ray nodded along. "Never shoot back."_

 _Deeks bit back a smile. "Always shoot first."_

 _An hour later, Deeks finally found some privacy and dragged Ray down a deserted hallway._

" _What the hell is going on, Marty?" Ray asked._

" _Don't call be Marty," he said first. "Call me Max. Always call me Max."_

" _When the hell did you change your name? And to Max? Marty is a way better name-"_

" _I didn't exactly change my name," Marty said. He glanced around to make sure no one was listening. Then he turned back to Ray._

 _His former best friend stared at him for a long moment before ducking closer. "Oh, my God! Are you a cop?"_

" _Shut up," Deeks hissed. "Not so loud."_

" _That's a yes."_

" _Yes, I'm a cop," he admitted._

 _Ray ran a hand through his hair. "This is like a bad daytime movie! Two former friends who find themselves on opposite sides of the law."_

 _Deeks chuffed a laugh. "Only opposite sides for now. How would you like to become my informant? It pays like shit, but it'll keep you out of jail."_

 _Ray stared at him, considering his choices._

" _Also, I don't consider you my former friend," Deeks said. "I've never stopped considering you my friend. I went looking for you after we got arrested, but you were gone."_

" _I've never stopped considering you my friend, either," Ray said. "What do you need me to do,_ Max? _"_

 _00_

 _A month later, Deeks was nursing a bottle of beer in a shady bar, trying to appear as if he had drunk more than he actually had. He needed to keep his wits as sharp as he could. Ray's participation had moved the case along faster than expected, but Deeks knew it would still be months before he got to go home. He missed his real life. He hated being Max. He just wanted the case to end so he could go back to being Marty. His handler warned him to keep it together and focus on the case, not his life outside of being Max. He was losing his ability to keep the two separate in his head._

 _Ray stumbled up to him, somewhat drunk. There was a blond on his arm._

" _Max," he called. "This is the girl I was telling you about."_

 _He shifted his beer into his left hand and held out his right. "Ah, the lovely Nicole. I have heard only good things."_

" _Nice to meet you, Max," Nicole said as she shook his hand. "Ray says you've known each other since you were kids?"_

 _Deeks nodded. "Lost touch for a few years in the middle, but we're good now."_

 _Nicole smiled. "I'm glad. Ray's such a nice guy. It's good to know he has a good friend, too."_

 _Deeks liked Nicole. She was simple and nice. She, like Deeks and Ray, had a shitty childhood, but she didn't let it drag her down. She looked past Ray's shortcomings and focused on the good. She wasn't weak, but she needed to feel like she was being taken care of. Deeks wasn't surprised things worked out between Ray and Nicole. He was only surprised by how fast they worked out._

 _00_

 _Six weeks later, Deeks was done with being undercover. He'd reached the three-month mark, which officially made that the longest he'd been undercover. His handler continued to warn him of the dangers of letting his real life in too much. But he was making progress in the case and thought he could handle it._

 _He knocked on Ray's apartment door. They were supposed to go to a meet together. When the door opened, it was only Nicole in the apartment._

" _Hi, Max," she said._

" _Nicole," he greeted._

" _Ray's running late, but said he'd be here soon. Want to come in and wait?"_

" _Thanks." He dropped the Max-gruff act and collapsed onto the couch._

" _Did Ray tell you we're getting married?" She asked as she sat on the chair across from him._

 _Deeks nodded. "He did. Congratulations." He was sure Ray was moving too fast, but he couldn't help a genuine smile from coming to his face. His friend was happy. That made Deeks happy._

" _Ray said he'd get me a bigger ring when we have more money, but he didn't want to wait." She held out her hand to display a medium sized ring that Deeks was pretty sure Ray got from a fence._

" _Beautiful."_

 _Nicole beamed and then cocked her head. "Why do you act so different in public?"_

 _He felt his body tense, wondering if he was about to be called out._

" _You have a good heart, Max," she continued. "You should let the world see it."_

 _He shrugged. "Aren't many people in the world I like," he said. "Guess I don't want to let the others in."_

 _Nicole smiled. "I'm glad you let me in."_

 _Before more could be said, the door opened and Ray stepped in. "Hey, man, sorry I'm late." He clapped Deeks on the shoulder and then ducked his head to kiss Nicole._

" _Did she show you the ring?"_

 _Deeks nodded. "She did."_

" _We're thinking about going to City Hall next week to make it official."_

" _You'll come, won't you, Max?" Nicole asked._

" _Of course he'll come," Ray answered for him. "He's my best man."_

 _Deeks raised an eyebrow. "Best man? Aren't you supposed to ask me first?"_

 _Ray scoffed. "You're my best friend. It's assumed."_

 _00_

 _The wedding was small and low key. Neither had family left to attend, but neither seem to notice the lack of guests. Nicole wore a second-hand white wedding gown. Ray wore a rented suit. Deeks stood beside his friend and allowed himself to smile for real._

 _Afterwards, there was a small reception at the local bar. Deeks allowed himself to drink more than usual. He sat at a corner table by himself, away from anyone else._

 _After an hour, Ray left his new bride dancing with her friends and sat with Deeks._

" _I think she's happy," Ray said._

" _She is." Deeks raised his bottle. "Cheers."_

 _Ray echoed the sentiment and took a long swig. "Never thought I'd get hitched."_

" _Me neither. Never thought you'd find a girl to put up with that sorry mug." He joked._

 _Ray laughed. "You're just jealous. We'll find you a girl."_

 _Deeks sobered at the reminder of his wife. He missed her desperately, and wanted more than anything to see her. The alcohol made it harder to keep his two lives separate._

" _Hey, man, you okay?"_

 _Deeks turned to his friend and shrugged. "I don't need to find a girl."_

 _Ray cocked his head and then leaned closer. "You got a girl at home?" He whispered._

 _Deeks nodded. "I'm married." He knows he probably shouldn't talk about his life, but it feels good to be Marty, even if it's just for a few minutes at his friend's wedding. "Four and a half years."_

" _Wow."_

" _Would have invited you to the wedding if I knew where to find you."_

 _Ray waved off his worry. "So, your wife. Good for you?"_

" _The best."_

" _Then what the hell are you doing here?"_

 _Deeks sighed. "Honestly, that's a very good question."_

 _Ray smiled. "I hope to meet her one day. Maybe when this thing is over, we can go on a double date."_

 _Deeks chuckled at the thought. "You'd have to tell Nicole who I really am."_

 _Ray sighed. "She's going to be angry when she finds out I'm your informant."_

" _She doesn't have to find out. When this is over, I'll be arrested with everyone else. You can tell her I'm in jail."_

 _Ray nodded. "So, I guess no double date."_

" _I guess not."_

 _00_

 _Another two months passed and Deeks began to see the cracks in Ray and Nicole's relationship. Ray was still Ray; the guy who wanted to be a better person than his father, but couldn't drag himself out of the only world he knew. He was a good guy, but was always going to stay around the wrong people._

 _Nicole was starting to realize her husband's assurances of a better life was a pipe dream. Deeks knew Ray didn't lie on purpose. He honestly believed he was going to make a big payday and be able to afford more. But his ability to make that happen was lacking._

 _He would catch Nicole staring at the too-small ring on her finger. Sometimes she would catch him looking at her. He would offer her a smile, wanting her to be happy and for his friend's marriage to work out._

 _She would always smile back. He didn't notice when the look in her eyes changed._

 _00_

 _Nearing the six-month mark of being undercover, Deeks caught a bad flu bug. He shut himself away in his dingy apartment and prayed for it to pass quickly._

 _He tried to ignore the knock on the door, but whoever was there was clearly determined for him to answer._

 _He dragged himself off the shitty, too-short couch and opened the door._

 _Nicole stood in the hallway, holding up a paper bag._

" _Ray said you were sick," she said. "I brought soup."_

 _His stomach revolted at the thought of eating, but he appreciated the thought. It had been too long since anyone cared enough to take care of him. And it wasn't like the LAPD were going to check on his well-being._

" _Thank you."_

" _Can I come in?"_

 _He sighed. "I don't want to get you sick."_

" _I'll take my chances." She brushed past him towards the small kitchenette area._

" _I appreciate the soup, but I'm really not hungry."_

 _Nicole hesitated, but nodded and put the soup into his fridge. "Fine, but don't wait too long to eat something. And drink lots of fluids."_

 _He huffed a laugh. "Yes, mom."_

" _I mean it."_

" _I know. And I will. Thank you."_

 _She smiled at him, and then her eyes welled with tears._

" _Everything okay?" Deeks asked carefully, struggling to stay in control of his cover. He hated when women cried. And crying blond women only reminded him of his mother. "No one hurt you?"_

 _Nicole sniffed. "You're so sweet to worry, Max. No. No one hurt me. I'm just… I shouldn't say it."_

 _He wasn't sure if he should push, but a small voice inside his head reminded him he needs to know more about what is going on than those around him while undercover. "Whatever it is, you can tell me."_

 _Nicole took a deep breath and then moved a step closer. "I love Ray, but sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I met you first."_

 _Deeks was surprised by her words. He inhaled sharply and met her eyes. It was then that he recognized the look that had been in her eyes for weeks now. "Nicole… We can't."_

 _She shook her head. "I know we can't. I don't want to destroy your friendship with Ray. But I just… Wouldn't we be great? If we'd had a chance? You're a good guy, Max. I know you are. You hide from the world, but you let Ray and me see the real you."_

 _He almost laughed at how not true her words were. "We would never have had a chance," he said._

" _But-"_

" _I'm married," he cut her off. This was his friend's wife. He had to stop her from thinking and saying those things. He loved his wife, and would never do anything to tarnish their relationship. And Ray was his friend. He needed his wife on his side, not thinking what ifs about Deeks._

 _Nicole looked surprised. "How can that be? Where is she?"_

" _Back in Florida," he said quickly, trying to weave this new information into his cover story. "I wanted to make sure things worked out here before I brought her with me."_

" _You care about her," Nicole said, ever perceptive._

 _He nodded. "I love her more than anything."_

 _Nicole took a deep breath. "She's a lucky girl."_

 _00_

 _A month later, he finally had enough information for his handler to end the case. He tipped off the LAPD about a meet. The police swooped in and arrested everyone, including himself and Ray._

 _Ray was later released. Officially, the LAPD cited that they didn't have enough information to tie him to any crimes._

 _LAPD's official story was also that Max Gentry took a plea deal and would be in jail for five to ten years._

 _Deeks saw Ray a few times over the years for interviews and debriefs. He never saw Nicole again._

00

Ray's testimony goes well. As does the rest of the case.

On sentencing day, Deeks sits with his friend in the court room as Nelson Sanders is sentenced to twenty years without the possibility of parole for arms dealing.

He walks out of the courthouse with Ray, just like they planned. In planning to fake Ray's death, the team had decided not to waste any time. Ray was already hooked up with a set of squibs, courtesy of Eric.

Callen and Sam ride past the courthouse on a motorcycle, dressed in black. With Sam driving, Callen shoots off a round of blanks with the gun aimed towards Ray.

As practiced, Ray acts the part of a shooting victim and hits the ground.

Deeks blends into the background to make sure everything runs smoothly. There are undercover LAPD on site to act as the first to respond and try to help Ray. They keep everyone else at a distance. Then the paramedics show up, as planned. They are real paramedics, but have been borrowed by the LAPD to take part in this show. They are quick to load up Ray, who is still playing dead, and drive away.

Deeks makes his way around the side of the courthouse and down two blocks. He finds Kensi waiting for him, as expected. She is parked on a quiet street.

He lets himself into the passenger seat with a relieved sigh. Beside him, Kensi smiles. "All done?"

He nods. "All done."

"Eric said everything went well."

"Everything went perfect. Hopefully, Sanders will buy it and Ray will get to start over."

"You going to miss him?"

He nods. "I am. He was gone from my life for so long, but…"

Kensi reaches across the car to him and rests her hand on his knee. "He saved your life," she whispers.

He covers her hand with his. "He did. More than once. First with giving me that gun. And then when I was undercover. It was so long, and Max Gentry was so horrible to be… I wouldn't have made it through without him there."

"He's a good friend."

"Yeah."

"You're a good friend to him, too, Marty. You kept him out of jail. Now you're getting him a new life."

He lifts her hand off his knee and presses a kiss to her knuckles. Working with Ray brings up so many memories of the longest undercover assignment he had. It reminds him of the life he could have been leading, and how horrible it had been to be away from his wife for so long.

It also reminds of how much better his life is now that he is home full time.

"I'm glad you get to meet him," he says. Their next job was to head to the hospital to meet the ambulance and pick up Ray.

"I'm excited to meet him."

"Did you buy enough cupcakes to share?" He asks, raising an eyebrow.

She stares at him for a moment before pasting a fake-nonchalant expression on her face. "I don't know what you're talking about."

He rolls his eyes in good nature. "Yes, you do… I can smell the sugar. And even if I couldn't, we're only a few blocks away and you were waiting here for almost three hours."

She purses her lips and pretends to think about it for a moment. Then she smiles and drops his hand to reach into the foot well behind his seat.

"I thought you may need comfort food," she says by way of explanation. She swings her arm back out of the backseat and drops a now-very-familiar takeout box into his lap. Their friend, Tiffani, had finally fulfilled her lifelong dream and opened her cupcake shop the previous month. Kensi had been a frequent visitor. Deeks knew only her aversion to holding any sort of routine stopped her from going pretty much daily.

He opens the box and is not at all surprised to see only five cupcakes in the six-cupcake takeout box. "You only ate one, huh?"

She mock-glares at him and then shrugs. "I wanted to eat one with you," she says sweetly.

He helps himself to a chocolate-raspberry cupcake. Kensi reaches for a triple chocolate.

Kensi holds hers out to him. He smiles and presses his against hers in a light hearted 'cheers.'

He takes a bite. "These are seriously good cupcakes," he says. "Tiff is a culinary genius."

"Yes, she is."

He takes another bite. "I can't believe you only got half a dozen."

"How bad do you think I am?" She responds.

He pauses before taking another bite and glances at his wife. "There's another box in the back, isn't there?"

Kensi doesn't even look at him when she responds. "Yep."

00

"These are seriously amazing cupcakes, Marty," Ray says from the backseat.

There had been no issues picking Ray up at the hospital. They are now on their way to the airport.

"We thought you needed a final meal."

"Ha ha," he says sarcastically. "You do this for all your informants?"

"Just the ones I'm sending away," Deeks quips as Kensi pulls the car up to the drop off lane at the airport.

"That's not funny," Ray says in good humour. "I'm the best informant you've ever had."

Deeks chuckles. "A claim you can only make due to the fact that you're a criminal."

"Retired criminal," Ray corrects. "You're talking to a new man. Upstanding citizen."

This time Deeks laughs out loud. "That must have been difficult to say with a straight face."

Ray joins in and laughs as well.

"You ready to do this?" Deeks asks, knowing it couldn't be easy to face getting on a plane to Miami and leaving his entire life behind.

"Yeah. I think so. You going to be okay without me?"

"Of course. I'm actually looking forward to it," Deeks jokes. They both laugh. "In all seriousness, I'm going to miss you."

"You, too, man." Ray claps him on the shoulder from the backseat.

After a pause, they all get out of the car. Kensi tries to keep some distance, but Ray has nothing of it.

"It was nice to meet you, Marty's-better-half."

Kensi laughs at the name and shakes Ray's hand. "You, too, Ray. Thanks for having his back."

Ray nods, clearly understanding Kensi is referring to more than just the case. "Of course."

He drops Kensi's hand and turns to Deeks. "You know she's too hot for you?"

Deeks laughs out loud at Ray's words. "I know. She must love me for my money… Oh, wait, I don't have any money."

Ray chuckles. "I won't tell her if you don't."

Kensi rolls her eyes, but keeps quiet as the two old friends joke together.

"In all seriousness," Ray says, turning back to Kensi, "He's lucky to have you."

Kensi smiles at Deeks and then at Ray. "I'm lucky to have him, too."

"And it doesn't hurt that he's a sucker for brunettes."

Deeks huffs a laugh, somewhat embarrassed to be called out by his old friend. Kensi seems to relish the information, though, and smiles. " _Really_?"

Ray nods. "It's too bad I have to leave, cause I have so many stories…"

"But you do have to leave," Deeks cuts him off.

Ray hesitates, as if debating whether to continue the joke, but he sobers and nods. "I know."

"Anything you want me to tell Nicole for you?" Deeks asks.

Ray shakes his head. "Nope."

"But she's your wife," Kensi says.

Ray sighs and turns to Kensi. "Ex-wife. And we were never going to last." He nods towards Marty. "Marty was there. We barely knew each other when we got married. She's better off without me."

Deeks exchanges a glance with his wife. She has made his life better since the day he met her, and he hopes he's done the same for her. He never wants to think she would be better off without him.

"Well, I guess this is it," Ray says.

"All right," Deeks says. "Take care of yourself."

"You, too," Ray says as they exchange a man-hug.

Ray turns back to Kensi again. "Take care of him."

Kensi nods. "I will."

Ray turns back to Deeks. "Never shoot back."

Deeks nods. "Always shoot first."

They watch as Ray disappears into the airport. Deeks turns away and pulls his wife into his arms.

"I love you. Have I told you that today?"

"Mmm," Kensi murmurs against him. "Probably. But always nice to hear. I love you, too."

He knows he needs to release her and get back into the car so they can return to work, but he just needs a moment. He's decades removed from the scared boy stuck in a bad situation, but Ray's presence brings back memories. Both good and bad.

Kensi senses what he needs and snakes her arms around his waist.

He sinks into the hug and holds her a little tighter. "It's hard to say goodbye."

"I know." She runs her hand up and down along his spine. "No hurry."

He's reminded of how much good and bad he had experienced growing up. There was more bad than good, but Ray represents so much of the good. It would have been too easy for Deeks to have ended up with another life than the one his is living now.

"I'm glad he gets to start over," he whispers. "He deserves it."

Kensi pulls back far enough to meet his eyes. "Doesn't mean you can't still miss him."

He ducks his head to kiss her. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Do you need more comfort food?" Kens asks. "I do have another box of cupcakes in the car."

He laughs out loud and kisses his wife again. She laughs with him. "Just you. I just need you."

00

Unfortunately, the day stops going as expected by the time they get back to work.

Eric greets them with news that Ray had cancelled his ticket, rented a car, and been chased by another car and shot at. He bailed on his rental car after being shot at and has disappeared.

"No, we staged his murder at the courthouse and made sure it was on television," Callen says. "There's no way the shooters should have known he was still alive."

"Unless there's a leak," Sam suggests.

"LAPD reports no blood at the scene," Nell speaks up. "So at least he wasn't shot."

Deeks can feel his tension level rising rapidly. "He got lucky."

Callen nods his agreement. "Ray was a gunsmith. He worked with pretty much every criminal group in Los Angeles. If any of them find out he was an informant and is still in town, there's going to be a huge price on his head."

Deeks knows what he has to do before the conversation is over. With Ray out there alone, being hunted, he knows he has to find him first. He needs to go back undercover.

00

Becoming Max Gentry again is hell. Max was an alias Deeks never wanted to know again.

He dons Max's signature leather jacket and goes to the bar he and Ray had frequented for so many months. He knows Ray will end up there eventually.

Kensi drives him and wants to come in. He doesn't let her. He has awful memories of this alias and this bar and this whole case. The last thing he wants is a memory of Kensi in the bar with him.

Ray shows up, as expected. But there is a shootout outside the bar and he disappears again.

Deeks knows Ray will not try to go to the bar again. He and Kensi head back to Ops to regroup with the team.

"Are you sure Ray didn't say anything about not going to Miami?" Callen asks.

"Yes. I'm sure. This has been the plan for weeks. Something must have changed."

"Or he chose not to tell you."

Deeks shakes his head. "He wouldn't have done that."

"Your best friend is a career criminal, Deeks," Sam says flatly. He's clearly judging Deeks's choice in friendship and questioning his words now. "He ditched his flight. Then he rented a car that got shot up as soon as you took your eyes off of him."

"I know that," Deeks responds. "But something else must be going on."

"Why do you trust him?"

Deeks bites back the urge to snap at Sam. After nine months of working full time with the team, they should trust him. "It's complicated."

"You keep saying that."

"It's the truth."

"You're too close to this," Callen says.

"You should never use someone you know in real life as an informant undercover," Sam piles on.

Deeks snaps just a little. "I know I'm too close to this. I know I shouldn't have used Ray as an informant. I was new to working undercover. I let too much of my personal life in. I know better now, but I didn't know better then. We all make mistakes. And I can't change that now."

Callen stares at him for a long moment before nodding. Deeks is pretty sure his outburst has actually earned him points with the team leader. Callen is acknowledging that Deeks has admitted to his mistakes and knows better now.

"There may be things Ray hasn't told you," Callen says carefully. "You might not know your friend as well as you think you do."

"I know him," Deeks argues. "He has a reason for what he is doing."

"Like what?" Sam asks. "Money stashed somewhere? An enemy he wanted to drop in on?"

Deeks shakes his head. "That's not his style."

"What about his wife?" Callen asks.

"Ex-wife," Deeks corrects. "And no. He doesn't want anything to do with her."

"That you know of." Sam responds.

"He seemed sincere about not wanting to see her again," Kensi speaks up.

"Why did he cuts ties with her?" Callen asks, ignoring Kensi's assessment.

Deeks hesitates before shaking his head. "It's complicated."

"That seems to be the phrase of the day."

Callen and Sam exchange a look. Deeks knows they're making a silent decision without including himself or Kensi.

"Let's bring her in," Callen says. "We have to start somewhere."

Deeks sighs, but nods. Callen is at least right about that. They have to start somewhere.

"Nicole doesn't know I'm a cop," he says. "I'll talk to her, but I can't pick her up."

Kensi nods. "How about we have her picked up and taken to the boatshed?"

He nods. "That will work. Thanks."

She offers him a small smile and then steps away from the team to call in to have Nicole picked up.

While the team is on their way to the boatshed, Eric finds record of a call placed by Nicole to one of the criminal groups trying to kill Ray.

Deeks suddenly wonders just what information he is missing.

00

When they get to the boatshed, Nicole is sitting in the interrogation room.

The team stands together to watch the video feed.

Deeks runs a hand through his hair.

"Do you want us to take point?" Callen asks, surprising Deeks with his understanding tone.

He shakes his head. "No. She'll talk to me. I'm just trying to figure out the best way to approach it."

"You going to be Max or Marty?" Kensi asks.

Deeks runs his hand through his hair again. He's so preoccupied that he nearly misses his wife's slip at calling him Marty. If Callen or Sam notice it's weird that she called him by his first name, they don't same anything.

"She needs to know how serious this is," he announces. "If she let the bad guys know Ray was alive so they could take him out, then she really needs to know how serious this is. I have to go in as myself."

He takes a deep breath and then heads down the hall towards the interrogation room.

Nicole looks up when he opens the door. She offers him a soft smile.

"Max."

He shuts the door behind himself and moves to take the seat across the table from Nicole. She hasn't seemed to notice yet that 'Max' shouldn't be letting himself into an interrogation room so freely.

"Hi, Nicole."

"I can't believe this. I thought you were in jail. What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to talk to you."

She furrows her brow and seems to notice his ability to walk freely into the interrogation room for the first time. She sighs and sits back. "Are you an informant, too?"

Deeks takes a breath.

She continues without letting Deeks speak. "I should have known. You two were friends. Of course the cops would turn you both."

Deeks sighs and taps the table. "I'm not an informant."

She smiles at his words, but her expression falls quickly. He's pretty sure she can sense his next words before he voices them.

Deeks nods. "I'm a cop."

Nicole shudders slightly and then looks him in the eye. "It was you?"

He nods. "Ray was my informant. My name is Marty Deeks. I'm a detective with the LAPD." He gives her a moment to process the information. "I need to know what is going on with Ray."

She shakes her head. "What does it matter?"

"It matters to me."

"Why? He was just your informant?"

Deeks sigh and leans back in his chair, trying to appear less aggressive. Nicole is processing the new information and he knows she's liable to react badly if she feels threatened. "He's my friend."

She shakes her head. "It was all a lie."

"Not all of it."

Nicole's eye well with tears, but she does not cry. She is not in a place to hear Deeks's words. "I thought you were a friend. I thought you were Ray's friend. You were best man at our wedding. I don't understand…"

He taps the table softly, trying to gain her attention. "I was your friend. I am Ray's friend. And I need to know what is happening with Ray now. I know you don't want to hear this, but Ray's in a lot of trouble right now. And you could be in a lot of trouble. I want to fix this for you both."

She shakes her head and looks down.

"I can help you," he prompts. "But I need to know what you know."

"I don't know what I know anymore."

He sighs. "Let's start small. How did you know Ray was an informant?"

She stares at him for a long moment, considering whether to cooperate. Then she sighs. "Ray told me when he agreed to testify against Nelson Sanders. He said the feds were going to relocate him. I didn't want to go, so we got divorced."

"Okay, that's good. Thank you for telling me." He pauses. "Ray was in protective custody leading up to the trial. Were you in contact with him then?"

She shakes her head. No. But…"

"But?"

She hesitates before continuing. "A few weeks before the trial, I got a call from this guy. He, uh… He said he'd pay me a hundred grand if I could help him find Ray. I didn't do it," she says quickly. "But he left his number."

"Do you still have the number?"

She nods. He about to move on, but something in her expression catches his attention. "Nicole, did you call the number?"

She nods again. "Ray pulled up to the house today in a rental car. I'd seen the news. I knew he had already faked his death. But he showed up and said he needed some stuff he had stashed away. Money and stuff." She inhaled sharply, fighting tears as she ran her right hand over her left. "It was a lot of money, you know? If he'd told me about it when we were together… We could have used that money. He never even…" She ran her right hand over her left again.

"He never replaced the ring," Deeks finishes for her. He recalls newly-engaged Nicole telling him Ray had promised to upgrade her ring. He remembers how focused Nicole had been on the idea of a bigger ring. Not long after he came out from undercover in that assignment, he had suggested a new and bigger ring to Kensi as a five-year anniversary present. She had made clear exactly how much she didn't want a different ring. It had shown him the difference between his marriage and his friend's marriage. Kensi was with him for the marriage. Nicole may have loved Ray, but she was with him for the idea of being taken care of.

Nicole shakes her head. "He never did. But he had all this money. And he said he was taking someone else with him into relocation." She takes a deep breath. "It's not fair, you know? That should have been our money. But instead he was going to use it on someone else."

Deeks feels a bit of relief that at least the day's events are starting to come together. But he feels bad for Nicole, worse than he knows he should feel about someone he knew undercover. Nicole had always wanted someone to take care of her. "So, you called the number."

She nods. "I was mad."

He nods. Her actions were wrong, but they were impulsive. "We can still make this right. Do you know who Ray was planning to relocate with?"

She looks down. "Some tramp who works at Grand Central Market. Jenna."

"Jenna," he echoes, knowing the team will be looking into the name. He takes a breath. "Is there anything else you know that you think could help us find Ray?"

She shakes her head.

"Thank you for talking with me." He stands and moves to leave, but she stops him.

"Was any of it real?" She asks.

He turns back to her, but remains standing. "Yes," he answers honestly. Nicole was caught up in a bad world, but she wasn't a bad person. She had never been on his list of marks. She had never been implicated in any criminal behavior. She had literally only crossed with his case due to her relationship with Ray. She deserved some closure.

"Your history with Ray?"

"Ray and I grew up together, yes," he says. "But I was Marty, not Max."

"You acted like such an asshole to so many people," she continues.

He sighs. He had hated being Max. He had hated Max's attitude and behaviour. "I was undercover. I don't like acting like that, but sometimes I have to, to get the job done."

She looks up and meets his eyes. "You were always different around Ray and me. Nicer. Better. Was that the real you?"

"No," he answers honestly. It had been a less guarded version of him, and he had let too many details of his real life slip, but he had never let down all the walls. "But it was closer to the real me. I let my guard down around you and Ray. I shouldn't have, but I did." He knows it's the truth. He had been too green undercover to be faced with the situation he was in. And he had made mistakes. He had let too much of himself in when his guard was down. He hated the case that started this all, but he had learned from it. He had gotten better undercover from the experience. If any good came from it, other than putting the bad guys away, it was that it made him better and probably saved his ass in subsequent assignments.

"You were nice," she repeats. "I… I really liked you," she says. Her voice cracks and the deeper meaning behind her words isn't lost of either of them. Deeks knows it isn't lost on his team, either, who are outside the room listening. He had told his wife everything about his assignment, so she knows about Nicole's feelings. He's not worried about her reaction, but he knows Callen and Sam will judge him.

"You let me down so nicely," she continues. "I wondered why you didn't want me."

"You were Ray's wife. And I was undercover."

She stares at him for a long moment. "You old me once that you were married. Is that true?"

Deeks feels like the air has been sucked out of the room. He recalls now that Nicole had brought him soup when he had been sick. He had been more vulnerable than usual, and he had said more to her than he should have.

"You are, aren't you? I can see it in your eyes."

Deeks resists the urge to glance at the camera, knowing all-too-well he is being watched. "Yes," he admits.

Nicole looks down for a long moment and then almost smiles. She looks back to Deeks. "That actually makes me feel a little better; to know why the real you and the fake you didn't want me."

"I'm sorry," he offers. He's not sorry that he's married, and he's not sorry that he didn't want Nicole, but he is sorry that she got hurt.

She nods. "Yeah. I'm sorry, too."

Deeks takes her words as goodbye and quietly lets himself out of the interrogation room.

He makes his way down the hallway. The scene that greets him is not unexpected. Callen and Sam are standing and staring at him. Sam has his arms crossed over his chest. Behind them, Kensi is sitting at the table. She offers him a soft smile and a nod, telling him to lead.

"Any information on Jenna?" He asks.

Callen almost laughs.

Sam raises a finger. "Eric's looking into it. But that's not what we're going to talk about right now."

"And what are we going to talk about right now, Sam?" He snaps back, matching Sam's tone.

Sam waves his hand towards the interrogation room. "How about everything that was said in there?"

"I've already said I made mistakes, okay? I was green undercover. I let too much of myself in. I said too much. I know better now, but I can't change the past. Can we move on from this now?"

Sam huffs.

"Are you really married?" Callen asks before Sam can say more.

Deeks nods. "Yes." It's not something he will lie about if asked directly. Not ever. He is proud of his marriage. It's the best thing he's ever done.

Sam scoffs and shakes his head. "Why have you never told us before?"

"Why should I?" He counters quickly.

"We have a right to know."

Deeks steps forward. He's tired of Sam's arrogance. "No, you don't, Sam. It's not like you bothered to share you being married until it came up in a case. Not that it mattered. I could always tell."

Sam doesn't like being called out and takes a step towards Deeks, closing the gap. "You shouldn't have lied to us."

"I didn't lie," he snaps. "I never said I wasn't married. Not ever." He points a finger at Sam. "You never bothered to ask _anything_ about my private life." He takes a step back and nods towards Callen. "Neither of you ever bothered to ask." He hadn't even known he had so much anger towards the senior agents until now. But in a year of knowing them and nine months of working full time with them, neither had ever bothered to take the time to ask him anything personal. Sam assumed and judged without information, and Callen just couldn't be bothered.

"You're right," Callen says, stepping forward in an attempt to diffuse the situation. "We never asked." He pauses. "We should have asked." He pauses for another moment. "Your wife…"

"Is amazing," Deeks finishes. He's pretty sure Callen was looking for a name, but he's not sure what Kensi wants to do right now. The team clearly doesn't suspect her being his wife. It wouldn't be impossible to carry on with them thinking he was married and not name his wife. "She's the best person I know and the best part of my life." It feels good to talk about her in front of Callen and Sam. He sees Kensi smiling at him from the table. Her eyes are more reflective than usual.

"How long have you been married?" Sam asks, though his tone is still harsh. It sounds more like an interrogation than a conversation. Deeks thinks he's looking for cracks in Deeks's story and is not genuinely interested.

"From what I can tell, longer than you," he snaps back.

"Deeks," Callen says carefully.

Deeks takes a step back and takes a breath before answering. "Just about nine years. I've been married just about nine years."

This information clearly takes both Callen and Sam by surprise.

Sam turns around to face Kensi. "Did you know about this?" He demands.

Kensi stands and nods as she walks towards the boys. "Yup."

"How long have you known?" Callen asks.

Kensi meets Deeks's eyes and moves towards him. Then she smiles. "Just about nine years," she tells Callen.

Callen stumbles slightly for words, confused by her response. Beside him, Sam is staring at both of them.

Kensi stands tall beside Deeks and reaches for his hand. "Since I married him."


	46. Plan B - Part II

_**AN: You can blame this delay on Kensi and Sam…**_ __ _ **Sam wanted to attack Deeks's character and Kensi wanted to respond with real life examples that may have permanently damaged the team rapport. To keep this only somewhat-AU, I couldn't let that happen. Sorry! If I had had any idea it would take this long to get this chapter ready to post, I would have held off on posting the last one. I NEVER want to leave a cliff hanger hanging for long.**_

00

Episode 2.22 – Plan B. Part II.

00

 _Deeks takes a step back and takes a breath before answering. "Just about nine years. I've been married just about nine years."_

 _This information clearly takes both Callen and Sam by surprise._

 _Sam turns around to face Kensi. "Did you know about this?" He demands._

 _Kensi stands and nods as she walks towards the boys. "Yup."_

" _How long have you known?" Callen asks._

 _Kensi meets Deeks's eyes and moves towards him. Then she smiles. "Just about nine years," she tells Callen._

 _Callen stumbles slightly for words, confused by her response. Beside him, Sam is staring at both of them._

 _Kensi stands tall beside her husband and reaches for his hand. "Since I married him."_

 _00_

Kensi sits quietly at the table as her husband speaks with Nicole.

He had told her about his interactions with Ray and Nicole during his old case, so she's not surprised by her words. Callen and Sam are closer to the video screen and speak quietly between themselves. Once in a while, they glance at her to see her reaction. She gives them none. Sam is clearly unhappy with this entire case and his expression tells her he is looking for support in his dislike.

When Nicole begins to ask personal questions near the end, Sam huffs and looks to Kensi again. This time Kensi glares back at him. "She was never a suspect in anything," she reminds. "She was collateral damage to this case."

Sam doesn't acknowledge her words, but he crosses his arms over his chest and turns back to the screen.

She inhales when Nicole asks Deeks if he really is married, and holds her breath when he confirms he really is married.

Both Callen and Sam react to the news by standing up a little straighter and glancing at each other, as if not entirely sure if they should believe his words. She exhales slowly, keeping calm to deal with whatever is about to happen.

It's only moments later that Deeks lets himself out of the interrogation room and makes his way down the hall towards them. He looks to her for direction. She offers him a smile and a nod, telling him to take the lead. The decision to tell the team is not hers alone. It is a joint decision that impacts them both. If he's going to tell the team, then she's fully prepared to follow his lead.

 _Are you really married?_

 _Yes._

 _Why have you never told us before?_

 _Why should I?_

 _We have a right to know._

Sam is quick to demand information. He is self-important and accuses Deeks of keeping information from him.

 _You shouldn't have lied to us._

 _I didn't lie. I never said I wasn't married. Not ever. You never bothered to ask anything about my private life. Neither of you ever bothered to ask._

Kensi is not surprised when her husband stands up for himself. She is proud when he steps closer to Sam and accuses both senior agents of not bothering to ask anything about him in the year they have known each other.

She hadn't actually realized their lack of questions before her husband spoke the words, and she's pretty sure Deeks hadn't either. She feels her anger level rise in defense of her husband. He deserves better.

Callen takes over the questioning from his partner. He is much less defensive.

 _You're right. We never asked. We should have asked. Your wife…?_

… _Is amazing. She's the best person I know and the best part of my life._

She smiles at Deeks's response; both at his effortless ability to avoid Callen's real question, and at his words about her.

She loves him just as much as he loves her, and she wants Callen and Sam to know it. She knows in this moment that she will not let their marriage stay secret any longer. She feels relief at the knowledge that after this moment, she will not have to hide anymore.

Marty is not giving away any tells to identify her as his wife. She knows this is because he doesn't want to 'out' her to the team without being absolutely certain this is what she wants. He is clearly willing to allow the charade to continue with Callen and Sam knowing he is married, but not knowing he is married to her. He is a good man. And he has waited long enough.

She stands when Sam turns the conversation to her. He is expecting her to be shocked by the revelation that her partner is really married. But he is the one about to be shocked. "Did you know about this?" Sam demands.

"Yup."

"How long have you known?" Callen asks her.

"Just about nine years," she says, purposefully echoing her husband's words as she moves towards him. She stops at his side and reaches for his hand. "Since I married him."

There is a beat of silence.

Then Callen laughs. It's a light, easy laugh. It tells Kensi he's amused with this information. His lips quirk upwards and he nods towards them. This tells Kensi he's also a little impressed.

Sam is neither amused or impressed. He continues to stare at them with his arms crossed over his chest. He's a trained operator, so he's not allowing any micro expression to his face, but she knows him well enough to know what is going through his mind.

"Hetty?" Callen asks Kensi.

Kensi nods, understanding what he is asking. "When I first started here, she told me to keep it a secret. She also told me to create a fake single-girl persona. I think it was probably a test."

"Definitely a test." Callen nods and there is no judgement in his expression. He clearly understands that she had been hiding on Hetty's orders. "You did good," he offers. "I had no idea."

"Thank you," she says. She allows herself to breathe a sigh of relief, knowing at least one of them isn't mad.

He turns to Deeks. "Nine years."

Deeks nods. "Just about."

Kensi smiles as she feels her husband press a kiss to the side of her head. Despite the tension still radiating in the room, she feels relief at _finally_ not hiding in front of her team.

Callen clearly notices the show of affection, but doesn't comment on it. He turns his attention back to Kensi. "You said once that you dated a law student."

Kensi bites back a laugh. Callen has been unusually oblivious about her marriage, but she knows the team leader is smart and exceptionally good at remembering pretty much everything. It's what makes him so good undercover. The little, seemingly inconsequential things she's said and done are now popping into Callen's head with a new perspective. "I did date a law student. Then I married him."

"When you were still in school," he concludes. Again, there is no judgement. He is just making sense of the timeline.

"We both were," Deeks answers for them.

Callen considers them both for a long moment. "I can see it now; in hindsight. Not before we met you." He nods towards Deeks. "Before that, I can't see it. But after-" He nods to Kensi. "You work well as partners, but you connected too fast. You started standing up for him too fast. You worked with us for two years and then started standing up for him right away." He nods to himself. "I can see it now."

Kensi knows Callen is using his surprise to learn from the situation. It's how the team leader works. He's not emotional. He analyses where he went wrong in order to learn for next time.

"And you were clearly thrown off your game during the Daniel Zuna case," Callen continues.

"I was," Kensi admits. "I had no idea Marty would be there and I didn't know if I should say anything."

"You should have said something immediately," Sam says, speaking up for the first time since she dropped the bombshell on him. He still has his arms crossed over his chest and his face is still a careful mask. Kensi doesn't know if he's hiding anger, hurt or something else. Regardless, this proves that he is the emotional partner. He reacts on his feelings.

"I was waiting to talk to Hetty," Kensi defends her actions. "And then she made the decision for me."

"We had a right to know," he snaps. "You've been lying to us for three years."

Kensi bristles. "And what about you-"

"This isn't about me," he cuts her off.

"So, you get to hide the fact that you're married from me, but I'm not allowed to hide it from you?" She demands. "Nice double standard you got for yourself there."

Sam tightens his jaw. "My wife doesn't work here. It's different."

"For two years I had no idea Marty would work here," she defends. "And then when he started, Hetty gave us the choice on when we tell you and-"

"And you chose to keep it from us this long," Sam states, and it sounds like nothing more than an accusation.

"Yeah," she snaps, stepping forward. "We chose not to tell you. And you know why, Sam? Not because of Callen." She nods towards the team leader. "Because of you."

Sam bristles, but Kensi continues before he can speak. He's said enough. It's her turn to speak her mind. She keeps moving forward until she is only inches away from him. The stress of hiding for so long wells within her. She is no longer willing to put up with Sam's attitude.

And she is angry.

"You judge people and then you treat them how _you_ feel they deserve to be treated. What makes you think you get to make those decisions? We were waiting for you to stop being such an arrogant a-" Kensi cuts herself off and takes a step back. She, too, is allowing her emotions to fuel her words. She takes a deep breath. "We were waiting for you to stop treating Marty like he didn't belong here. We were waiting for you to accept him as part of this team, and respect his skills." She swallows hard and blinks against the sudden sting in her eyes. Her voice is strained when she continues, but she pushes on anyway. "Then we realized it wasn't going to happen," she says, her voice quieter than before.

Her team had become her second family. But Deeks is, and will always be, her first family. She had wanted so much for him to find a home with the team. She had had this vision in her head of a whole team, which acted like a whole team. And the realization that it's just not going to happen breaks her heart a little.

A few feet away from her, Sam's neutral expression falters. She recognizes anger and hurt. But she also sees regret.

"Kens," Deeks whispers, materializing at her side. He brushes his shoulder against hers.

She nods, grateful for the brief contact. She turns back to Sam. "This is my life, Sam," she speaks evenly. "My life and my marriage. It's my choice when I tell you things. _Our_ choice," she corrects, taking her turn to brush her shoulder against Deeks. "You don't have a right to know things. And you don't get to judge me for keeping this from you."

"No one's judging you," Callen steps back into the conversation. He glances between Kensi and Sam. Kensi knows he is trying to diffuse the situation before it gets worse.

"I wish that was the truth. But we all know it's not true."

"Well, it's going to be true from now on. No more judging."

Before another word can be said, the video screen changes from the view of the interrogation room where Nicole still sits to the video feed from Ops.

Eric's face appears. "Hey, guys, I-" He cuts himself off when he sees his own video feed of the team. Kensi and Sam are still staring at each other. Deeks is standing beside Kensi. Callen is standing sideways to the confrontation, acting as mediator. "Uh, everything okay?"

"It's fine, Eric," Callen says. "What do you have?"

"I found Jenna. She works at the bakery stand at Grand Central Market."

"Thank you, Eric," Callen says.

"You're…welcome. Let me know if you need anything else," he says quickly and ends the video call. The screen changes back to the video feed of the interrogation room.

The team is silent for a long moment as they are collectively reminded of the case which they are working.

Deeks clears his throat. "We'll go to Grand Central Market and find Jenna," he says.

Callen nods, but Sam seems uncertain whether he's ready to let everything go.

Kensi turns towards the door and nudges her husband ahead of her. This conversation had not gone as well as it could have, but she knows it could have gone a lot worse. "Let's go," she says in agreement.

They are halfway to the door when Sam speaks again. "Are you in charge now?" He calls after Deeks. It's disapproval and a challenge all at once. "Feel all confident in making assignments?"

Kensi tenses and closes her eyes for a moment. They had been so close to getting out of the boatshed. She knows Sam needs time to process the information. She knows they should just ignore him and leave. But she also knows she cannot let him think this behaviour is okay.

"Someone has to go find Jenna," she says in a controlled tone.

"And it's not like you to take on the mundane tasks," Deeks adds on.

Kensi almost smiles at his comment. Her husband is right. Callen and Sam almost always take on the more interesting tasks and assign the others to Kensi and Deeks.

Sam bristles. "I'm a senior field agent and you're just-"

"If you finish that sentence, Sam, you're going to regret it," Kensi threatens. There are a number of possible words for Sam to tag onto to end of his sentence, but she knows not one will be nice. And she knows any of them will irreparably destroy their team dynamic.

Sam falls silent.

Kensi turns to Callen. "Agent Callen, our team leader, is it okay if we go to Grand Central Market and look for Jenna? Or would you prefer to take on this assignment?" She knows her tone is full of sarcasm, but she is trying to make a point and is past the ability to be nice.

Callen steps forward just enough so that he is closer to them than Sam is. "Yes, go and find Jenna." He pauses. "Good plan, Deeks."

Kensi nods, grateful Callen is trying.

She turns back to Sam. "This okay with you now?"

Sam bristles, not liking being called out. Kensi has never stood up to him like this. It's not a good combination.

"Yeah, go," Sam says, moving his attention back to Deeks. "Go and save your criminal best friend."

Beside her, she hears Deeks exhale slowly.

Sam steps forward to stand beside Callen, now looking back at Kensi. "Good choice you made there-"

"You're absolutely right, Mr. Hanna," Hetty interrupts. Kensi hadn't noticed when her boss had shown up, and the team's collective reaction tells her they hadn't either. "She made an excellent choice in marrying Mr. Deeks."

Everyone knows Sam's comment had been sarcastic, and things likely would have devolved drastically from there. And everyone knows Hetty knows this as well and is choosing to pretend not to understand the real meaning behind Sam's words.

"Mr. and Mrs. Deeks have, in fact, been married longer than yourself," she continues, and Kensi doesn't bother biting back the smile that forms on her lips at Hetty's words. It's also not lost on her that both Callen and Sam react to her being called Mrs. Deeks.

"And I did, in fact, instruct Mrs. Deeks to refrain from disclosing her marriage when she started. I also understand and respect their decision to wait until now to tell you." She directs her attention directly to Sam. "So, if you are frustrated with being kept in the dark, please turn your frustration towards me, Mr. Hanna."

Sam says nothing, but nods once towards Hetty, telling her he will back off. He may treat Deeks however he pleases, but he will not stand up like that to a superior.

Hetty turns back to Kensi and Deeks. "Now, I believe you are heading out to Grand Central Market?"

Kensi nods.

"Good. How about you get on the road? The sooner you get there, the closer we get to finding Mr. Martindale."

Kensi turns for the door, Deeks following on her heels.

After the stifling tension of the boatshed, the outside world is a shock of quiet and fresh air. She inhales sharply. Her throat feels thick, like she's not sure if she wants to scream or cry.

Deeks is silent as he walks beside her, but she can hear his footsteps. Walking beside her.

Always beside her.

She spins to a stop and reaches out for the collar of his shirt. He struggles to stop as fast as her and is still in motion when she tugs him lower and presses her lips to his. His arm hooks around her waist as he slides into her, still trying to stop. She grasps lightly to the material of his shirt, but trusts him to keep them both on their feet.

He chuckles against her lips. He manages to keep them both upright. His arm slides back from around her waist. Both hands find her hips.

"I love you," she tells him.

He pecks her lips before meeting her eyes. "I love you, too." He smiles at her and reaches to brush a few strands of hair from her face. He cocks his head and opens his mouth to say something, but she cuts him off before he can speak.

"I don't regret it," she tells him.

He closes his mouth, his lips pursed, still not convinced.

"I'm glad they know," she adds.

He stares at her for an extended moment before nodding. "Me, too." He ducks his head to press a kiss to her forehead.

She wraps her arms around his waist and tucks herself against him.

His arms close around her, hugging her close.

"I'm sorry Sam is upset," he tells her. "I know how important the team is to you."

She breathes against him. "I wish he had reacted better," she admits. "But it doesn't matter."

He sighs and holds her a little tighter. "It matters. It's allowed to matter."

She pulls back far enough to meet his eyes. "You matter."

He cocks his head and smiles at her.

"We matter," she continues. "And the team matters. But the team is down the list. You are more important. We are more important. I don't want to hide anymore. You are my husband, as well as my partner. I'm proud of that."

"We matter," he echoes.

"I'm sorry I made you wait so long to tell them," she says. "It feels like such a relief now."

"We chose to wait this long," he argues.

She reaches up to run her hand through his messy hair. "I love you for saying that. But we both know you would have told them on day one, given the chance. You followed my lead. You waited for me."

He considers her for a long moment before ducking his head to peck her on the lips. "I'd wait forever for you, Kens. As long as I have you in my life, I'd wait for anything."

00

Early August 2002

 _Ten days before the wedding, everything could have fallen apart._

 _Kensi knew they were young, and she knew the stats on getting married young, but it didn't bother her. They weren't jumping into something they weren't ready for. They were mature and motivated and committed to each other. And they were in love._

 _They had a relatively short engagement; it was actually pretty easy to plan a wedding when you didn't have much money. There were no choices about menu, colour themes and chair covers when you weren't hosting a reception. They had simply found a beach location and booked some food trucks._

 _Everything seemed to be going well until it came to light that the best man and maid of honour, whom they thought were in a mature, motivated and committed relationship – just like Kensi and Marty – were actually going through a bitter break up._

 _Jeff and Mindy had gotten to their one-year anniversary when their relationship had imploded. They had fought and argued for weeks. When the fighting stopped, Kensi and Marty had thought they had worked things out. In actual fact, they had broken up with the hope of keeping the break up from Kensi and Marty until after the wedding._

 _Kensi felt the sofa shift as Marty sat beside her. His arm snaked around her waist and he pressed a kiss to the side of her head. She sighed and leaned into him._

" _I thought they were happy," she commented._

 _He held her a little tighter. "So did I."_

" _Mindy said…" Kensi trailed off and turned so she was meeting Marty's eyes. "She said that Jeff may be the right guy, but that it's not the right time."_

 _Marty nodded. "Jeff said something pretty similar. Said they both have too much they want to do with their lives right now."_

" _And they don't want to be tied down…" She trailed off again and cocked her head. "Am I tying you down? Are we tying each other down?"_

 _He ran a hand through his hair. "I don't think so. I don't feel tied down."_

" _I don't either," she assured him. "But it worries me."_

" _What does?"_

" _They were so much like us," she pointed out. "Hard working and motivated. And I know they love each other. I'm having trouble understanding why it worked out for us and not for them."_

" _I'm struggling with that, too," he admitted. He pulled her close and rested his chin on her head. "But I keep remembering something Jeff told me when he came to help me buy your ring." He paused and his hand found hers. He ran the tip of his index finger along the smooth band adorning her left ring finger. "He thought we should wait to get married. He said everything was fine now because we were both in school, but that a lot changes after school. He thought we should make sure we can make it work in the real world before getting married."_

 _Kensi stayed silent as she considered his words. It made sense. She and Marty were still quite young. There was no need to hurry into marriage. They could wait a few years until they knew they could make it work in the real world._

 _But Marty was warm and strong beside her as he held her close. His embrace offered love and comfort. She couldn't imagine ever not wanting this. And she could imagine them finishing school and transitioning into the real world. Together._

" _I know we can make it work," she said. "I know there will be a lot of decisions to be made. And probably a lot of arguments to be had. And a lot of compromise. But I want to go through it_ with _you."_

 _His arms tightened around her and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "I came to the same conclusion."_

 _She felt relief coil around her heart. On paper, there may be no way of distinguishing between their relationship and Mindy and Jeff's relationship. But where Mindy and Jeff wanted the ability to make their own choices, unhindered by each other, Kensi and Marty would rather compromise with each other._

 _That was the difference._

" _Still, we can wait," Marty said quietly. "There really is no hurry. We can get married this month, or next year, or ten years from now. As long as we're together, I can wait."_

 _She pulled away far enough to meet his eyes. She shook her head. "I don't want to wait, Marty. I know there's no hurry. But I don't want to wait any longer to be married to you."_

 _He smiled at her, his expression filled with affection. "We're going to build a really good life together."_

 _She nodded. "Together."_

00

Kensi and Deeks find Jenna at Grand Central Market.

They also find Ray.

When Ray takes off running and Deeks takes off in pursuit, Kensi stays back with Jenna.

The woman is quiet and soft spoken, and Kensi can't immediately make sense of her importance in this whole situation. But when she asks Jenna about Ray, Jenna's eyes fill with worry and affection. And love. This woman is in love with Ray.

"You're together," Kensi surmises.

Jenna nods. Her eyes shimmer with unshed tears. "He told me he had to go into relocation. He didn't want me to think he had really been killed."

Kensi nods. Ray broke the rules, but she understands the reasoning.

"So, what changed?" Kensi asks. "Why didn't Ray get on the plane?"

Jenna hesitates. She doesn't say anything, but her hand brushes over her abdomen in an unconscious gesture.

Kensi's eyes miss nothing. For the first time today, this case is finally starting to make sense. "You're pregnant," she says gently.

Jenna nods. "I didn't know if I should tell him. But I didn't want him to not know. I didn't expect him to come back for me. I know he can't take non-family into relocation."

Kensi feels her heart tug. She can't imagine having to leave her life with Marty behind, or having him leave her behind.

Jenna sniffs. "I guess he was the right guy at the wrong time, you know?"

"I think if you meet the right guy, then it is the right time," Kensi counters gently. "Come with me and we'll see what we can do to help."

00

Kensi catches up with Marty, where he has finally tracked down Ray. The moment she sees Ray and Jenna together, Kensi knows there is no way Ray is leaving without Jenna. She exchanges a look with her husband. His expression tells her he knows it, too.

They take Ray to the boatshed after leaving Jenna in protective custody.

Callen and Sam meet them there.

Callen acts pretty much as usual. He clearly is not holding a grudge and wants to wait until the case is over for any further discussion.

Sam is on edge. He is clearly resenting the entire situation. He responds in short, controlled sentences and doesn't exchange pleasantries. Kensi gets the distinct impression that he is waiting until the case is over to continue to air his grievances.

Nicole is still sitting in the interrogation room.

"Nicole has agreed to help us," Callen says. "She still has the number she used to let the Southland Kings know Ray was still alive. She'll call them again for us, set up a time and place where we can be in control."

Ray huffs with as much humour as he can muster. "I still can't believe she tried to kill me."

"Give yourself a little more credit," Deeks jokes. "You can be extremely annoying."

"Ha ha," Ray returns. He shakes his head and then sobers. "She would never have done something like that when I met her. I should have treated her better."

"I think you both did your best."

"She was just the wrong person," Ray confirms. He cocks his head at Marty. "She still in love with you?"

Deeks rolls his eyes. "She was never in love with me. She was just looking for something different."

"She always did want to be taken care of," Ray concludes. There is no malice in his tone. Kensi doesn't know if Ray has always known, or just realized now, that his now-ex-wife had feelings for his best friend. Either way, he is dealing with the news well.

"Wait," Sam interrupts. "Your wife was in love with him," he points his thumb towards Deeks, "And you were okay with that?" He turns to Kensi. "Were you okay with your _husband_ having an affair?"

The room is momentarily silent. Kensi bites back the urge to snap back at Sam. Both she and her husband work undercover. Part of their jobs can include getting close to other people. But they are open about it. They talk about it. It's the only way their marriage works so well. It's not okay, but it's not an issue between them.

She takes a deep breath, prepared to defend her marriage, but Marty beats her to it.

"I did not have an affair," Marty defends. "Nicole expressed some feelings and I let her down as easily as my undercover persona could."

Sam glances at Kensi to check her reaction before looking back at Deeks, but Kensi interrupts before he can say a word.

"I'm disappointed in you, Sam."

The senior agent's eyes snap back to hers. "What?"

"I think I just lost all respect for you."

"Excuse me-"

"You're actually trying to create problems in my marriage," she accuses.

"I did not-"

"You did," she cuts him off. "You purposefully accused Marty of something he didn't do, and then you looked to me to see what kind of impact it had on me. You're trying to hurt us."

Sam hesitates for a moment, so she continues.

"Do your worst," she challenges.

"Excuse me?"

"You can throw whatever shit you want," she tells him. "You can lob accusations and accuse either of us of whatever you want. But you know what? It won't work." She glances at her husband, who smiles back at her.

"Agreed," Deeks says to Sam. "Do your worst. We're stronger than anything you can throw at us."

Sam exchanges a look with Callen and stays silent.

After a long pause, Ray speaks up. "I thought they didn't know you two were married?"

Kensi almost laughs as Deeks sighs and turns to his friend. "They didn't until a couple hours ago."

00

Using Ray and Jenna as bait, the team draws out the Southland Kings, who are trying to kill Ray. They manage to take all of the bad guys down while effectively staging Ray and Jenna's deaths in a very public manner.

They can't be the ones to send Ray off to relocation again, as they are supposed to be pretending Ray and Jenna are dead, so the second goodbye is short.

"Thank you for this, Marty," Ray says, shaking Marty's hand. He's got his arm tucked tightly around Jenna. Despite the stress of the day, he looks happy and relieved.

"Of course, anything," Marty returns.

"I'm going to be the best father in the world, I promise you that," Ray says.

Marty nods. "I know you are."

"I'm not going to screw everything up like my dad and your dad. I always knew we would turn out so much better than them."

Kensi watches as her husband takes a cleansing breath. "We did, didn't we?"

"You got that right, brother," Ray says.

Marty turns to Jenna. "You take care of him."

"I will."

"But don't let him get away with anything," Marty tries to joke. "Make sure he changes just as many diapers as you."

Both Ray and Jenna laugh.

Having effectively lightened the mood, Deeks hugs his friend goodbye.

"You'll keep him out of trouble?" Ray asks Kensi.

Kensi smiles. "I'll try."

"I'm not the trouble maker," Deeks argues.

"Sure you weren't," Ray says. He turns to Kensi. "It's really too bad we don't have more time, cause I got stories…"

"Too bad we don't have much time," Deeks says.

Kensi laughs and bumps her husband's hip with hers. "It's been really good to meet you, Ray. Thanks for everything you did for Marty."

"I'd do it again, any time." Ray smiles. "But he doesn't need me now. He's got you." He turns back to Deeks. "Never shoot back."

Marty takes a breath before responding, "Always shoot first."

00

Despite not witnessing their goodbye with Ray directly, Kensi knows Callen and Sam heard it through their comms.

Sam keeps at a distance, choosing to glance at them a few times. He's tired and he's dropped his guard a bit. His expression is hesitant. He is processing the information of the day.

Callen meets with Kensi and Deeks. "Good job today. Both of you. It was a tough case, but it was the best outcome we could hope for."

"Thanks, Callen."

He nods. "Let's get back to Ops."

The drive is fairly short. Kensi drives quietly and allows her husband to process everything that has happened. He hasn't been able to see or speak with Ray much over the past couple years, but she knows he will miss his friend now that he's in relocation.

Despite the stress of the day and the knowledge that they still have to deal with the team's reaction, Kensi feels a sense of calm. No matter the consequences or the outcome, she is glad the team knows. She is glad to no longer be hiding.

Deeks says nothing as he reaches across the centre of the car and lays his hand on her knee.

Kensi waits a beat and then drops her hand onto his.

He turns his hand over underneath hers so he can thread their fingers together.

"You were badass challenging Sam like that," he finally speaks up.

She huffs a laugh and then sobers. "I guess it's easy when you lose respect for someone."

He is silent for a long moment. Then he sighs. "I never wanted to interfere with you and your team."

She squeezes his hand. "Our team. And you didn't."

"Feels a bit like I did," he admits.

"Marty," she murmurs, wishing they could pull over and really talk. But she knows they are expected back at Ops. "You may have been the trigger, but you weren't the cause." She squeezes his hand again. "All you have done is make this team better. You're a really good partner, and a really good team member."

He is quiet for several moments and then nods. "Thank you."

She lifts their conjoined hands and twists them awkwardly to press a kiss to the back of his hand. He chuckles at the awkward movement.

"I want to make this work," he says. "Our partnership, the team. I want to make it all work."

"Me, too. So, let's make it work."

He squeezes her hand. "That means we have to get along with Sam. No more baiting."

She makes a face before agreeing. "Fine. But we're not going to be passive. If he starts something, I'm not standing down."

"Agreed."

00

When they arrive back at the Mission, the lower floor is mostly deserted. They drop their things and then make their way up the stairs to Ops.

Inside, they find Callen and Sam with Eric and Nell. They are wrapping up the case details.

Callen nods towards Kensi and Deeks as they enter. Sam, whose arms are crossed over his chest, does not turn towards them.

"We're just tying up loose ends on the case," Callen offers.

Kensi nods as she comes to stand in front of the screen. Marty falls in beside her.

"ATF is taking custody of the firearms not connected to the break in at Pendleton," Eric advises.

"There were a lot of firearms found," Nell adds. "They clearly came expecting a war."

"Good thing we took them out, then," Kensi says.

"Also, LAPD called to confirm Ray and Jenna boarded their flight," Eric says. "They, uh, confirmed they walked him all the way to the gate."

Callen chuckles.

Sam, however, huffs. "Maybe if that had been done this morning, this whole case would have been over by lunch time."

Kensi closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.

"There was no known reason to think Ray wouldn't board the plane this morning," Deeks says evenly.

"Right, because your criminal _best friend_ lied to you."

"It was complicated, but he had his reasons," Deeks stands up for Ray.

"We all have our reasons," Sam echoes. "Reasons to hide things, reasons not to. Reasons to befriend a criminal."

"Okay, that's enough," Kensi speaks up. "Your list of friends isn't perfect, Sam."

He opens his mouth to respond, but she holds up her hand.

She takes a breath before continuing, trying to keep her voice calm. "I know you're mad about today. If you're mad because I kept this from you for so long, be mad at me, not Marty. If you're mad that you couldn't tell I kept this from you for so long, be mad at yourself, not us. We haven't done anything wrong."

Sam is silent for a long moment.

Both Eric and Nell have been tracking the conversation quietly. Nell has her eyes narrowed, trying to piece together the reason for the tension. Eric has his head cocked, trying to determine if he knows the reason.

"You kept things from this team for a long time," Sam finally responds, his voice quieter, but not softer.

She nods. "I did. So did you. The same thing, actually."

When silence falls again, Eric speaks up. "Do they…know?" He asks quietly.

Sam's eyes snap towards the tech. "Eric knows?" He half asks and half demands.

Eric cringes, but Kensi nods evenly. "He knows. He found out on his own."

Apparently, this is too much for Sam. The senior agent takes a deep breath and then turns to his partner. "We done here?"

Callen nods.

"I'm going to take off, then."

Callen's eyes flicker towards Kensi and Deeks and then back to Sam. "I think that's a good idea. We all need to calm down. We can talk tomorrow."

Sam exits quickly.

"Sorry," Eric says.

Deeks shakes his head. "Nothing to be sorry for."

Kensi nods her agreement. "We have nothing to hide anymore."

Nell's eyes are still narrowed in concentration. She takes in Kensi and Deeks's close proximity. "Are you two…" She trails off.

"Married," Kensi announces proudly.

Nell sits back in her chair. Whatever word she had planned to end her sentence with, _married_ had not been it.

"To each other," Deeks adds lightly. "Just in case that wasn't clear."

Kensi almost laughs at the sudden levity. Eric does laugh. She even catches Callen biting back a smile.

"Wow. That's…great. And…fast. You've only known each other for-"

"More than ten years," Kensi cuts in. "Married for almost nine."

Nell studies them for a long moment, taking in their body language and behavior. Kensi gets the sudden sense that Nell is like Callen, not taking offense, but taking the time to recall any hints she can remember so she knows better for next time.

Nell turns to Eric. "How did you find out?"

Eric smirks and sits up a little straighter. "I'm a highly trained operative."

This time, everyone laughs.

"How _did_ you find out," Callen asks curiously.

Eric sends a questioning glance towards Kensi.

Kensi takes over for him. "He came the hospital late at night to see Deeks and found me there, too."

Callen nods.

Nell immediately looks sympathetic at the reminder of Deeks's shooting only a few months earlier. "That must have been awful for you. And I was there at the hospital with you both. I'm sorry I wasn't more…" She trails off, searching for the right word.

"You were exactly what we needed you to be," Kensi says. "You were focused on the case. Your judgment was not clouded with sympathy."

Callen nods his agreement and turns to Kensi. "You did exceptionally well that day, too. You were able to be objective, despite your relationship."

Kensi and Deeks exchange a glance. She really wants to reach out and take her husband's hand in this moment, but she's not sure if that's appropriate yet. "I guess that's why Hetty wants us to be partners."

Callen stares at them for a long moment. "Hetty always does know what she's doing," he says.

Kensi feels relief swell within her. Callen is not one to mince words, so this is the team leader voicing acceptance.

Callen quickly excuses himself to complete some paperwork. Deeks also leaves, with an excuse about organizing some things downstairs. It's a finely veiled excuse to allow Kensi and Nell a few minutes to speak.

Kensi is still very close with her college friends, because she met them in a different time of her life. She loves them all, but she still struggles with always having to lie to them. In the last several years, she has struggled to make new friends. This is because she has to hide so many parts of herself, both at work and outside of work. She has enjoyed getting to know Nell, but she has still had to keep things from the analyst.

But now that her marriage is no longer a secret, Nell knows Kensi, knows about her job, and knows about her marriage. Kensi didn't have a single friend who got to know all three. She hoped that would change now.

When she leaves Ops twenty minutes later, she finds Callen sitting alone at the desks, doing paperwork.

"Thank you," she tells him, "For allowing us to talk. For hearing us. For accepting us."

"You're a valued member of this team," he tells her. "And honestly, I'm more impressed with your ability to hide this from me for so long, than anything else."

She smiles at his comment, but sobers quickly. "Marty deserves to be a valued member of this team, too," she tells him.

"He hasn't worked with us that long," Callen says. "Value is earned."

"It's not the timeframe I'm concerned about. We're partners now. We're a package deal. If he's not given the opportunity to become a valued member of this team, then we're both prepared to leave. All we're asking for is fairness."

Callen nods. "Okay."

Kensi hesitates before speaking again. "He's the best man I know," she says. Then she smirks. "No offense."

Callen chuckles. "None taken."

"But seriously, he is the best man I've ever met. I know this case, on paper, suggests some less than stellar things, like being friends with a criminal."

Callen nods. "It does."

She pauses again. "Ray saved his life, when they were kids. Like, really saved his life. He wouldn't be here without Ray." She swallows hard at the thought of Marty not being in her life. "He could never walk away from that information. He wanted to save Ray, like Ray saved him." She exhales. "He's got a lot of integrity."

"Sounds like it." Callen's eye shift to something behind her, and then back to her.

Kensi knows immediately that Deeks is behind her.

"So, if he's the law student you once dated, does that mean he's responsible for the bad legal lingo? _Pro per and pro se_?" Callen asks, speaking louder so Deeks can hear.

Kensi laughs out loud as Deeks comes to stand beside her. "He is," she answers Callen. She bumps Deeks's hip with hers. "See? I told you I made a legal joke at work. It's not my fault no one got it."

"Oh, we got it," Callen speaks up. "We just didn't think it was funny."

Beside her, Marty chuckles.

Kensi rolls her eyes in good nature. She is secretly grateful to Callen for his effort.

"You ready to go home?" She asks her husband.

"Yes." He nods.

"Night, Callen," she says as she picks up her bag and follows her husband out.

They had driven into work in different cars that morning, as per their normal routine, so they have to drive home in separate cars tonight. But she is suddenly overwhelmed with the realization that this is the _last time_ they have to hide in this way. She reaches for Marty's hand as they walk out of the building together.

"You good?" He asks.

"I'm great."

00

 _ **For those who asked about Sam's marriage being shorter than Kensi/Deeks – During the episodes Out of the Past (4.5) and Rude Awakenings (4.6) which aired in Oct/Nov 2012, it is said more than once that Sam worked on the taskforce where he met Michelle 8 years ago. This would put Sam/Michelle meeting in 2004. Kensi/Deeks met in 2000 and married in 2002. 'Current' time in this story is April 2011. So, Sam couldn't have known Michelle more than 7 years. (This is also why there's no way Sam/Michelle have known each other longer for Aiden to be both their son… But that's a different issue).**_


	47. Imposters & Familia

_**AN: Sorry again for the delay. This chapter was extremely difficult to write for some reason. Several re-writes and still not where I want it, but it's time to post and move on.**_

 _ **Also, I wanted to address some of the reactions to the last chapter, related to Sam's behavior. Some readers thought it was too much, some thought too little and some thought it perfect. To start, I want to point out that Sam (as like everyone) has evolved over time with the series. Sam in the first few seasons is not the same as the current Sam, and wouldn't react the same.**_

 _ **For those who thought he overreacted, I feel that Sam is a good person who devotes his life to the good fight. But he also has a bit of a superiority complex towards those HE views as less. For the most part, he treats Callen and Kensi well. But he has been a bully to both Deeks and Eric, has been rude to Granger and has picked fights with Hetty. In earlier seasons, he has called Deeks a farm animal, a child and a mutt; he had a childish hissy fit about his chair and threw it over the balcony; and has a history of needing to get in the last word (which Hetty has called him out on). I think in this story, Sam made his own judgments about Deeks (like he did in the show). He was shocked by the news of the marriage, still doesn't have full respect for Deeks (because nothing like Descent/Ascension has happened), and is a bit embarrassed by how he's acted (because Kensi's opinion matters to him).**_

* * *

Episodes 2.23 – Imposters and 2.24 - Familia

"So, how's work?"

Kensi internally cringes at the question. Mindy means well, but also thinks Kensi does investigative work for a law firm. She's one of Kensi's best friends, but she has no idea what Kensi really does for a living, has no idea Kensi now works with Marty, and has no idea that the team Kensi has worked with for four years, and Marty has worked with for the better part of a year, just found out they're married.

"Uh, it's okay," Kensi says, thinking back to the last week of interaction with her team. Sam has been polite, but not exactly friendly, to both Kensi and Marty. The senior agent is clearly thrown off by the new information and doesn't know quite what to do. Callen acts pretty much the same as before, and doesn't say anything about their marriage, but Kensi knows he watches them more closely now. Eric fluctuates in his behaviour towards them now that the team knows what he already knew. He's friendly, but also acts afraid to be too friendly. Nell is friendly and chatty, wanting to know more, not as thrown off by the office politics as Eric.

"It's been a bit quiet," she continues. The team is normally talkative. They banter and poke fun at each other. They discuss current cases and past cases. They toss around theories. They challenge each other to competitions in the shooting range and the gym.

But lately, there's been none of the usual comradery.

"And a bit stressful," she finishes. She and Marty have both been on edge since disclosing their marriage. And while Kensi refuses to feel blame for the situation – because she is not ashamed of her marriage – she knows Marty is feeling ill at ease with his position. She tries to reassure him of his place, but her own worries keep her words from completely hitting home.

"You clearly need some more cupcakes," Tiffani comments, pushing the tray of baked good towards Kensi. The three women are sitting around a small table in the corner of Tiffani's bakery.

"And a more exciting job," Mindy adds on.

Kensi laughs at the irony of Mindy's comment, but says nothing. She glances at the tray of cupcakes before sighing. "Okay, fine. But only one more. I need to have room left to help Kat do some taste testing."

Both girls laugh.

"We know how much you can put away," Mindy jokes.

"Yeah, you're my best customer," Tiffani adds.

Kensi rolls her eyes, but can't help the smile that spreads across her lips. "Well, they are excellent cupcakes. I can't believe you didn't think to open a shop sooner."

It's Tiffani's turn to roll her eyes while Mindy laughs. It's been a running joke since college that Tiffani has wanted to open her shop.

Before anyone can say another word, the door to the shop opens and Kat steps in, two older ladies close behind. She shoots them a relieved look.

"Sorry we're a bit late," she says with a false smile.

Kensi bites back a smile at the way her friend's eyes are screaming for help. Kensi has received many group texts from Kat, who is trying to plan a wedding with a very opinionated mother and an even more opinionated soon-to-be mother-in-law.

"No worries," Tiffani says, calming the situation as best she can. "Glad you could make it. I have all the samples ready to go." She hurries behind the counter.

Kensi stands and greets her friend with a tight hug. Mindy follows suit.

"You remember my mother, Mary," Kat reintroduces. "And this is Brent's mother, Linda. They're both nice enough to take time out of their days to help me pick out a wedding cake."

Kensi bites back a laugh as she introduces herself to Mary and Linda. She knows for a fact that while Kat appreciates the thought, she desperately wants both older women to back off.

"Where's Brent today?" Mindy asks.

Kat pastes another fake smile on her face. "He had to work."

Mary and Linda both turn away from them momentarily to do a glance over of the small shop.

Kat turns to Kensi and Mindy with wide eyes. "The bastard bailed on me and offered to work today. Couldn't handle dealing with them anymore."

Kensi bites back a laugh. "I'm sure it's not that bad."

"They're driving me crazy!" She whispers harshly. "My mother is going crazy. And Linda is somehow worse! It's like they're competing with each other for who can be the craziest." She runs her hand through her hair. "We should have just eloped."

"I'm sure it's not that bad," Mindy tries to reason.

"I'm going to remind you that you said that one day," Kat responds.

Mindy laughs. "I am nowhere close to getting married."

"I thought that a year ago, too," Kat responds. She points jokingly at Mindy. "And when your mom and your future husband's mom is making you crazy leading up to your wedding, I will have no sympathy."

Kensi laughs at the exchange.

Tiffani returns with a tray of cake options and several forks. Mary and Linda join them at the table.

Linda doesn't look all that confident. "Are you sure you don't want to get your cake from a real bakery?" She asks, despite the fact that she knows the shop's owner is at the table.

Kat glances apologetically towards Tiffani before responding. "This is a real bakery," she says carefully.

"Linda is right," Mary adds on. "The cake is important. I have a pamphlet from that place downtown…" She trails off as she begins to search through her purse.

Kat takes a breath. "I don't want a cake from the place downtown. I want a cake from here. Tiff's cakes are amazing. Brent and I already agreed on this."

Mary and Linda exchange a doubtful look.

Kensi is suddenly grateful for how easy she and Marty had it planning their wedding. She clears her throat. "You'll change your minds when you try the cake," she says, motioning to the tray of options. She may be enjoying her friend's slightly dramatic turmoil, but she can also help her out. "I can attest that Tiff makes excellent wedding cakes."

Linda looks at her and then glances at her left hand. Her gaze catches on Kensi's wedding band. She looks back up and meets Kensi's eyes. "She made your cake?"

Kensi nods. "And it was amazing."

Tiffani beams. "First wedding cake I ever made!" She jumps up and moves behind the counter again. She returns with a small, framed photo and holds it out for Mary and Linda to see. The photo is of her, Kensi and Marty, posing around their wedding cake.

"You're the friend who got married in college," Mary recalls.

Kensi nods. "That's me."

"And still married?"

Kensi resists the urge to frown at the woman's judgment. She knows Kat's mother has always had extreme expectations for her daughter. And Kensi knows she doesn't fit the mold for a lot of those expectations. "Of course," she says simply. "It'll be nine years this summer."

00

 _August 2002_

 _Kensi was pretty sure it truly was the best day of her life._

 _Despite their limited budget and lack of any family in attendance, their friends had come together to help make their wedding special._

 _Mindy, Amanda, Kat and Tiffany had surprised them with decorations. The beach area hosting their reception was bordered with lights. The few tables and chairs were decorated with lace and ribbons._

 _Tiffani had gone all out baking them a two-tiered square cake. She had decorated it with whimsical circles, hearts and candy flowers._

 _Marty's friends, Ryan and Trey, had painstakingly put together a play list, burned several CDs and brought their stereo. They were enjoying playing DJ._

 _Kensi heard soft footsteps behind her. Then Marty's arms snaked around her waist. She smiled and gripped his arms in front of her abdomen as he settled his chin on her shoulder._

" _Have I told you how beautiful you look today?" He asked._

 _She snorted a laugh. "Only a few dozen times."_

 _He laughed as well and shifted to place a kiss on her shoulder before putting his chin there again._

" _Well, it's true." One of his hands ran up and down her hip, over the soft material of her simple white summer dress._

 _She tilted her head to lean against his. "You don't look so bad yourself, mister."_

" _You still glad we didn't go with formal clothes?"_

 _She turned and glanced appreciatively at his simple pants and blue button down. Then she stepped back into his arms. "Absolutely. No dealing with fittings, no worry about keeping a dress or suit clean and wrinkle free. And, no painful shoes."_

 _He kissed her then, short and simple. "I love you."_

 _She brushed her nose affectionately against his. "I love you, too."_

" _You happy?"_

" _So happy."_

00

Monday morning arrives sooner than Kensi would like. She groans when the alarm goes off and buries her head under the covers.

Marty shifts next to her and reaches to turn off the alarm. Then he settles close to her and reaches his hand under the covers to rub her back.

She sighs in appreciation, but says nothing.

Marty chuckles and shifts again. He pulls the blanket over his own head and pulls himself right up against her. Kensi turns her head towards him. She can feel his exhales against her forehead as they now share her pillow.

"I thought you were the morning person in this relationship," He murmurs.

She ignores his comment as she snakes her hand over his waist. "Why can't the weekend be longer?"

He runs his hand up and down her spine. "At least we didn't get called in over the weekend."

She closes her eyes, allowing herself to be grateful for the entire two days of freedom they had had together. "Our vacation cannot come soon enough." The extra stress of the past week has just reminded her how tired she is and how much she needs a break.

"Agreed." He presses his lips to her forehead. "Sun. Sand. Surf. Drinks on the beach. You in a bikini…"

She smiles. "Hiking. Exploring…"

He groans in good nature. "That does not sound like a vacation. Vacations are about taking it easy. Resting. Eating. Drinking." He presses another kiss to her forehead. "Having lots of sex."

She laughs. "No arguments here."

Before either can say more, the alarm sounds again.

Marty groans and rolls away from her to turn it off.

Kensi waits until the noise stops before sitting up, the blanket still wrapped around herself. She smiles when her husband holds out a hand to her. She takes it and allows him to pull her onto her feet.

"Come on," he prompts. "It'll be a better week than last week."

She raises an eyebrow.

He chuckles and pecks a kiss to her lips. "It can't be worse, right?"

Kensi smiles up at the man she loves more than anything. She loves him even more for trying to make everything better for her. "It's not that bad," she tells him, wanting to reassure him as well. "And you're there beside me. That makes it better." At this point, she can't imagine doing the job without him anymore. He's the best partner she's ever had.

He cocks his head and smiles at her. "I'll always be beside you."

She briefly debates commenting on his sappiness, but her heart is fluttering anyway, so she lets herself be sappy. "I know you will. And I'm sorry it's stressful at work now, but I don't have any regrets."

"Me neither," he tells her. "This week will be better."

00

The week doesn't get off to the best start.

Kensi and Deeks drive into work together, as is their new normal, and arrive at the same time as Sam.

The older agent does a double take at them getting out of the same car. His jaw tightens as he processes the reminder of their relationship. His shoulders rise as he takes a deep breath, but he keeps his expression neutral.

Kensi meets his eyes and debates how to greet him, when her husband beats her to it.

"Morning, Sam," Marty calls cheerfully, pretending like nothing has changed.

Kensi smiles as she echoes the greeting, knowing it is the best way to proceed. Sam is still processing the information of the previous week and Kensi knows challenging him in any way will only make the entire situation more stressful for everyone.

Sam nods towards them both. "Morning."

They all make their way into the office and take their seats. Callen is already there. He glances between Sam, Kensi and Deeks as he greets them all. He is still more accepting than his partner, but his concern is clearly for his partner first.

There are no questions about how anyone's weekend went, but there is also no negative conversation, so Kensi will take it.

The team settles in at their desks to work on paperwork until Eric calls them up to Ops. Eric whistles, as usual, to get their attention. But his address to them is simple and professional. Up in Ops, both Eric and Nell are careful with their words and the way they address the team.

Kensi hates that everyone is on edge. She also hates that she and Deeks are the reason for the stress. She loves her husband and her marriage, and she will fight against anyone who disapproves, but she wants desperately for them to be accepted. She doesn't want to be the reason for tension within the team.

She glances at her husband and notes his tense jaw. She knows his feelings are the same as hers.

The case of the day involves a fake SEAL who was beaten and set on fire. The man, a former construction worker named Brent Dundas, has been representing himself as former seal named Brian Young.

Callen sends Kensi and Deeks to the crime scene, while he and Sam head to Brent Dundas's house. No one says anything about the assignments, not wanting to start a new fight like had happened while looking for Ray Martindale the previous week.

Kensi sighs as she settles into the driver's seat of the SRX. She loves her team, and up until now she has enjoyed the comradery they have always shared. In the past, they have been able to discuss assignments as a team. In the past, they have bantered and poked fun at each other in good humour. The overly-professional behaviour is off-setting.

"You good?" Deeks asks as he settles in next to her.

"I'm good," she tells him as she turns on the ignition.

"Things are different," he comments, telling her he understands her feelings, but is also giving her the opportunity to avoid talking about it.

Kensi steers the car onto the road before she responds. "I don't like the tension within the team. Something needs to give, and it needs to give soon. I'm torn between wanting to be cautious around Sam and wanting to tell him to get over himself."

Deeks huffs a laugh. "How about we find a happy medium?"

She smiles. "Any suggestions?"

"We don't pick a fight, but we be ourselves. Cause we're pretty awesome, and we kick ass at this job."

She snorts a laugh and glances towards him. "We do kick ass."

He smiles back at her before she turns her attention back towards the road. "Give it some time," he tells her. "Sam needs to process this, and he's been distant, but not rude today. Everyone is on edge, but will settle."

She lays her hand on his knee. His calmness and faith in the situation calms her. "I love that you always have so much faith in people."

He lays his hand over hers and threads their fingers together. "Your team is made of good people. They deserve faith."

She feels herself frown. " _Our_ team," she corrects.

He nods. "Our team," he agrees, but she can tell he doesn't fully believe it.

Part of her wants to probe further, but she also knows now may not be the right time.

00

At the crime scene, Kensi and Deeks find scorch marks that tell them this is where the victim was set on fire. Deeks also catches sight of a car with a SEAL insignia bumper sticker, which turns out to be registered to the victim.

They get the car open and do a cursory search. They don't find anything of interest until they open the trunk.

"Well, this isn't good," Deeks comments.

Kensi exhales a breath and then lifts her phone to call Eric.

"Hey, Eric. We need a forensics team out here now. And the bomb squad. Our victim's trunk is filled with explosives and bomb making equipment."

00

"Nice job locating Brent Dundas's car," Callen comments when Kensi and Deeks arrive back at the office. Both Callen and Sam are sitting at their desks, going through documents.

"Thank you," Deeks responds.

Kensi shoots him a smile and rolls her eyes. "Marty noticed the bumper sticker first, but I'm sure I would have noticed it, too, if I wasn't so busy tracing the scorch marks."

Beside her, Deeks huffs a laugh.

Callen considers them both for a moment, processing that Kensi has called Marty by his first name.

Kensi clears her throat and turns serious again. "The bomb squad has cleared the car of any active explosives. Forensics is working it over now."

Callen nods and then addresses the entire team. "So, we have a Navy SEAL imposter with a trunk full of explosives."

"Sounds like a guy trying to make a bomb," Sam concludes.

Kensi finds herself nodding along.

Eric arrives, with Nell right behind him. He jumps into the conversation. "Only your victim, Brent Dundas, didn't know how to make a bomb."

"How do you know that?" Deeks asks.

"Internet searches," Eric responds. He pulls up records on the plasma screen for the team to see.

"He's been looking up bomb making instructions," Nell explains.

"He also makes regular cash withdrawals from an ATM at the Prince O' Whales bar, which is only a couple blocks from where you found his car," Eric tells them.

"And his last withdrawal was less than two hours before he was set on fire," Nell adds.

Callen nods and stands. "Well, we need to check out that bar."

"Now you're talking," Deeks jokes.

Kensi bites back a smile, grateful for how hard her husband is trying to make this entire situation better. She feels her faith in the situation rise.

Her positive attitude is short live, though; cut down by Nell's next words.

"Actually, Hetty asked if she could speak with you two in private."

Kensi immediately shoots a suspicious look towards Callen and Sam. Both look surprised and neither appear to know why Hetty would want to speak with her and Deeks.

Callen holds up his hands. "Nothing to do with us." He nods towards his partner and then turns back to Kensi and Deeks. "You two speak with Hetty. Sam and I'll go check out the bar."

Sam and Callen, and Eric and Nell are quick to leave the bullpen area, but Kensi doesn't make any move to go in search of Hetty.

She has enjoyed working with her husband, and she's not about to give it up without a fight.

Deeks shuffles closer to her and reaches to squeeze her hand.

She meets his eyes. "I'm going to kill Sam."

He huffs a laugh. "We don't know what Hetty wants to talk to us about," he says, trying to be the voice of reason.

"The team found out about our marriage last week, Sam overreacted, and nothing has been the same since," she states. "What else could she want to talk to us about?"

He sighs and his eyes shine with regret. She knows he is thinking the same thing as her; that Hetty wants him to go. "If this is too much of a problem-"

"Don't," she says, cutting him off.

"Kens…"

"Don't you dare."

He looks both defeated and determined. "This is your team, Kens. You worked so hard to get here. And I won't take that away from you." He pauses for his words to sink in. "If this is too much of a problem, I will step away from the team without argument."

She steps closer to him and reaches her hands to rest on his shoulders. "You're annoyingly noble and self-sacrificing, do you know that?"

He smiles and reaches to brush her hair behind her ear. "Only for you. And only because I love you."

She squeezes his shoulders. "Well, I love you, too. And I love working with you. And I love working with _our_ team. It's both of us or neither of us."

"Kensi."

"Marty," she counters.

He huffs.

She smiles. "You belong here, Marty. Just as much as I do."

"I couldn't have said it better myself," Hetty cuts in, surprising them both with her sudden presence. "You are both valued members of the team. I have no plans of getting rid of either of you."

Kensi feels her anxiety settle. She pulls her hands from her husband's shoulders so that she can face Hetty, but she keeps close. "Nell said you wanted to speak with us?"

Hetty nods. "I do. I wanted to speak with Mr. Deeks, but I respect that you two make your most important decisions together."

Kensi exchanges a confused glance with her husband. She has no idea what important decision Hetty could be leading up to.

"Detective Deeks, I have been impressed with your work with us." She nods towards Marty before addressing them both. "I have also been impressed with both your ability to work so well together. Considering the nature of our work, romantic involvement often makes it impossible to work together effectively in the field. However, you have proven you are the exception." She reaches towards Marty with a folder. "This is for you."

Deeks takes the folder and pulls out the contents.

Kensi feels her breath catch as she recognizes the forms.

"I don't understand…"

"It's an application to join NCIS," Kensi says quietly.

He stands up a little straighter.

"Mrs. Deeks is correct," Hetty explains. "It's an application to join NCIS on a permanent basis as an agent."

Marty runs his hand through his hair. "Wow. I, uh…wow. Hetty, thank you. I'm flattered that you have so much faith in me."

"I do not give faith away easily, Mr. Deeks. You have earned that faith."

He nods and looks down at the documents before looking up again. "I'm just not sure if this is the right thing for me right now…"

Kensi feels herself frown, concerned Marty is doubting himself.

"I'm a cop," he continues. "And I think it's more than what I do. I think it's who I am." He looks towards Kensi. His eyes are filled with uncertainty and concern.

He is confused, she knows. But he is also looking at her like he's expecting disappointment. It tugs at her heart. She offers him a supportive smile.

He nods and turns back to Hetty. "Thank you, really, Hetty. I just don't think this is the right choice right now."

"I understand," she says. "But things do change, and when they do it pays to be ready." She offers them both a smile. "Keep it, in case you ever change your mind. I've signed it already, so it's ready whenever you are."

"Okay, thank you."

Hetty pauses a moment for effect. Then she offers both Kensi and Marty a warm smile. "I was happy, Kensi, when you came to work here. And I was delighted when we managed to pull you in as well, Marty. You work together seamlessly as partners, and even more, you complete the team."

Kensi feels herself smile. She glances towards her husband. His expression is uncharacteristically stoic. She knows Hetty's words are creating feelings he is desperate not to show in front of their boss.

Her husband is strong and talented, and he's the best man she knows. But she also knows how much he struggles to feel like he fits in.

"I know the last week hasn't been easy," Hetty continues. "But it will blow over. Mr. Hanna needs time to come to terms with his feelings and behaviour. And Mr. Callen is trying to keep some balance in the team. Just give it some time."

Kensi feels a wave of relief settle over her. It makes her feel stronger to know Hetty has faith in everything working out. Beside her, she hears Marty exhale slowly as he, too, absorbs the relief.

"You are a strong team," Hetty advises. "And a strong team is not unlike a family. And families can fight, but they will always be there for one another. Remember that. No matter what happens, you are part of a team, and a family, here. You will pull together when you need."

With that, Hetty nods towards them both, and turns and walks away.

Kensi smiles at Hetty as the older woman disappears down the hallway. Then she turns and wraps her arms around Marty's neck in a tight hug.

He hugs her back normally for a moment. Then his arms tighten around her. "Hetty has a lot of faith in this working out," he whispers.

She hugs him back just as tight. "She does. But it's like you said; we're awesome."

He laughs, but makes no move to release her. She runs her hand up and down along his spine, allowing him time to process just how permanent his position is. She has known he had some uncertainty and had been willing to walk away for her, despite her reassurances to the contrary. But she hadn't realized until now just how much tension he had been feeling because of it.

"We are awesome," he whispers.

"You're an awesome partner," she responds.

"You're not disappointed?" He mumbles as he continues to hug her. "That I don't want to be an agent?"

She almost laughs. She pulls back far enough to meet his eyes. "I'm proud to be married to a cop," she tells him. "Just like I was proud to be married to a lawyer, and just like I was proud to be married to a law student." She reaches up to brush his bangs away from his eyes. "I would be proud to be married to an agent, if that's what you wanted. But I'm proud of who you are. I love that you're proud of being a cop."

"I love you," he tells her.

She smiles. "I love you, too. And I love that you're my partner."

"Me, too."

00

The investigation progresses quickly through the day. The team discovers that their victim was working with an anarchy group led by a fanatic looking to build a bomb. Sam goes undercover as a former SEAL looking to be part of the bomb building. They are too late, though. The anarchy group has already built their bomb and plans to detonate it in the afternoon at a park where a support-the-troops rally is set to take place.

"Okay, Hetty has alerted the NEST teams and local authorities," Callen says as the team prepares to leave for the park. "Eric is contacting the bomb squad to get them on site."

"We need to get to the park as quickly as possible," Sam says.

"Let's get going," Callen agrees. "We're on limited time, so we're just going to have to search as quickly as we can."

Kensi exchanges a look with her husband. He nods. She turns back to Callen. "We may have another option for finding the bomb."

Deeks smiles. "Monty."

"Who is Monty?" Callen asks.

"Our dog," Kensi responds.

Sam scoffs. "We don't have time to waste. The clock is ticking."

"He's a former LAPD bomb sniffer," Deeks cuts in.

Both Callen and Sam fall silent and look curiously towards Kensi and Deeks.

"We adopted him from an LAPD service dog rescue when he was retired due to some anxiety issues," Kensi explains. "But he's a trained bomb sniffer."

"And he's good," Deeks adds. "He doesn't love the panicked crowds, but he knows his job."

"Get him," Callen agrees.

Kensi tosses the keys for the SRX to her husband. "Take the car and get Monty. I'll ride with Callen and Sam and meet you there."

Deeks catches the keys easily and hurries for the parking lot.

Kensi helps Callen and Sam load all their gear into the trunk of the Challenger and then she climbs into the small backseat. The first half of the drive is silent.

"So, you have a dog," Callen comments, interrupting the silence that has plagued their drive so far.

"Yes, we do," she responds. "Monty."

"How long have you had him?"

"Three years. Marty had worked with him and heard about it when he came up for adoption."

"Any other pets?" Callen asks. "Or kids? You don't have kids, right?"

She smiles, grateful for his attempt. She catches Sam glancing in the rear-view mirror, suddenly interested. "No other pets. And no kids yet."

There is an extended pause while Callen and Sam process her words.

"How do you keep a dog when we work such varied hours?" Sam asks, genuinely curious.

"My mom's good about taking him when we're busy."

This time there is an extended moment of surprised silence.

"Your mom?" Callen asks. "I thought…I thought you didn't have family. I didn't realize that was a cover, too." As usual, his words aren't defensive. He is just making sense of things.

"It's a newer development," she answers honestly. "When I started here four years ago, I had no contact with my mother."

"I'm glad you found her," Callen says.

Kensi smiles, knowing just how honest Callen's words are. She wishes he could find his family, too.

"It's a good thing," Sam adds on, also honest and open. "Family is good. What led you to reconnecting with her?"

"Marty," she responds. There is another extended silence. "I know our marriage is new to you," she continues. "But he was the only family I had for a long time. And he's always looking out for my best interest. He's a good man."

Callen nods. "I believe that."

Sam takes a breath before nodding as well. "I do, too."

00

Monty does his job well. He walks the park with Deeks and quickly alerts him to an explosive device in a garbage can.

Kensi and Deeks chase down the bad guy, while Callen and Sam clear the area and wave in the bomb squad.

After the scene is secure, Kensi sits on the curb with her arm around her less-than-happy dog. Monty had done his job well and had returned to the vehicle to wait for them. He had been happy to see Kensi when she caught up to him at the car, but he hadn't settled much. Their normally happy dog is tense as he sits up beside her.

"Good boy," she tells him, affectionately rubbing his head. "You saved the day."

Callen and Sam arrive. Monty stares up at them while leaning against Kensi. Where he would normally greet newcomers, he makes no move to do so.

"Everything okay?" Callen asks.

She nods. "He doesn't do well with the panicked crowds. But he'll be okay."

"Where's Deeks?" Sam asks.

Kensi regards him for a moment before responding. "He's handing off custody of our would-be-bomber. Should be here soon."

As if he heard her words, Deeks strides around the SRX. "Man, I'm glad to be rid of that guy. I mean, I know he's an anarchist and a terrorist, but he would not stop ranting. And he smelled awful."

Kensi chuckles at her husband's rant. Then she smiles when Monty leaps towards him. He stands up on his back legs and rests his front paws on Marty's chest.

Deeks immediately snuggles with the canine, running his hands up and down his sides. "Are you okay, buddy? You did good today. Yes, you did."

Monty enjoys the attention for a moment. Then he gets down and hurries back over to sit next to Kensi.

Deeks laughs. "Yeah, I'd rather snuggle with her, too."

Marty winks at her. Kensi rolls her eyes, but smiles.

"Just because we know about it, doesn't mean we want to hear about it," Callen jokes.

Kensi shoots her eyes towards the team leader, but finds no malice in his expression. He is only jesting with them.

Marty laughs, and Kensi is quick to join in. Callen smiles, happy with his own joke.

And then Sam laughs as well.

For a moment, the team shares true normalcy together.

"You did good today," Callen says. "This situation could have been a lot worse. But we kept it together and worked like a team."

"Yes, we did," Sam responds.

Kensi nods in appreciation.

"Seems to be the theme of the day," Deeks adds.

"What do you mean?" Callen asks.

"When Hetty talked to us earlier; she talked about being a team."

Callen suddenly looks concerned. "About pulling together when we need to?"

Kensi feels the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. She exchanges a look with her husband as she suddenly hears Hetty's words of wisdom in another tone. "Exactly that," she responds for them both.

Sam sighs. "She had the same talk with me, too."

Callen's jaw tenses. "Guys, she's putting her affairs in order."

"We gotta get back to Ops. Now," Sam adds.

"Agreed."

Kensi jumps up and leads Monty to the backseat of the SRX. "You drive," She calls to Marty, who still has the keys. She knows Callen and Sam are hurrying back to their Challenger.

The brief moment of team cohesion and comradery is forgotten as the team speeds back to the Mission.

Hetty is already gone when they get there. According to a brief video call with Director Vance, she had handed in her resignation that day. She had not provided much of a reason.

She has left them with no answers, but has left them with a replacement. She has named Agent Lauren Hunter as her successor.

The day's success is forgotten as Callen's angry demands for information goes unanswered. Eventually the team is sent home for the night.

00

Kensi sighs as she leans into her husband's comforting warmth. It's late, but neither are quite ready to go to bed. Hetty's sudden departure is troubling them both.

Marty mumbles something indecipherable as he turns his head to press a kiss to her cheek.

Kensi closes her eyes. Marty is warm to her left. To her right, Monty is asleep on the couch with his head in her lap. The dog is tired from his day, and was happy to spend the evening on the couch with his people. "I don't think she's coming back," she whispers.

Marty tightens his arm around her.

She sighs again and opens her eyes. "She must have known you don't want to be an agent right now. But she gave you those papers so you could change your mind if you ever want to. She was making sure we'd both be okay."

"I think you're right."

She closes her eyes again. "I hope she's okay."

00

Tuesday does not start with any answers.

The team all show up early, wanting information. Eric and Nell have discreetly looked into Agent Hunter's past, and pass on the information to the team. Hunter has worked internationally, and has spent the last few years off the grid on an assignment for Hetty.

Callen and Sam leave the Mission to go in search of Hetty and answers. They find a team of mercenaries, hired to find a file Hetty is harbouring.

A shootout results in dead mercenaries, damage to Hetty's prized car, and no further answers.

By lunch time, Director Vance has arrived at the Mission. He flew to Los Angeles as quickly as he could, in the hope of talking Hetty out of sudden retirement.

"Director Vance," Kensi greets, shaking his hand. "Nice to see you again." It's been more than a year since he had visited the Mission in person.

"Agent Blye," he responds. "Nice to see you as well, despite the unfortunate circumstances."

Vance moves on to Deeks. "Detective Deeks. Nice to finally meet you in person."

Deeks nods. "You, too. You're taller than I expected; always look smaller on the video conference screen."

Vance says nothing but his lips twitch, humoured by Deeks's joke.

The mood turns serious as Vance addresses the team, asking about pending cases and off-the-book information gathering. No one has any relevant information to provide.

With Vance's direction, and authorization codes, Eric and Nell look into Hetty's computer history. They find a deleted file called Operation Comescu.

Vance and Hunter clearly have knowledge of Operation Comescu, which they don't immediately share with the team. An undercover meeting and a shootout on a rooftop with Grigore Comescu ends with the team heading back to the Mission.

"Comescu's people have Hetty," Callen announces as the team make their way across the bullpen. Before Grigore Comescu had been shot, he had told them his family was holding Hetty.

"Yeah, I heard," Vance says. He is standing by Hetty's desk with Hunter and Nell. "We'll find her. I'm putting a team on it."

"You have a team on it already," Callen responds as he comes to an abrupt stop in front of Vance. Sam stops by his side. Kensi glances at her husband as they stay close, standing behind Callen and Sam. She is concerned for Hetty. Marty's expression tells her he is as well.

"Not in Prague, I don't," Vance responds.

"How long have you know she's in Prague?" Callen demands.

"Miss Jones just told me," Vance responds.

Nell nods at Callen, confirming Vance's words.

Callen takes a breath and looks to Nell. "I need a ticket on the next flight."

"Not necessary," Vance counters. "I'll send a team from the office in Paris."

Kensi can feel Callen's anger from where she's standing. She holds her breath for his reaction to being denied any additional forward movement on finding Hetty.

"That's great," Callen counters back. "They can pick me up when I land in Prague."

"You're not going to Prague," Vance returns.

Callen steps forward. "I speak Czech. I speak Romanian. I have contacts in Prague that can help us-"

"You are no longer on this case, Agent Callen," Vance cuts him off.

Callen raises his voice. "Then give me a reason why! What is Operation Comescu all about?"

Vance pauses before responding. "It's about you, Agent Callen. Operation Comescu is all about you."

Kensi feels her breath catch in surprise. Whatever theory she had been building in the back of her head to explain Hetty's sudden absence and Vance's silence has now been obliterated. She is suddenly even more worried than before. She exchanges another worried glance with Marty.

Vance continues. "Operation Comescu is an ongoing investigation into a Romanian crime family. Dream up the worst pain and suffering a man can inflict on another man, and the Comescus have done worse."

The tension level falls just a bit as Callen processes the information. "And what does this have to do with me?"

"The Comescu family wants you dead, Agent Callen."

"Why?"

"Some sort of long-running family feud, as far as we can tell," Vance responds.

Kensi feels the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. She knows Callen doesn't have family and wants desperately to know about his past.

"I don't have any family," Callen says.

"They probably mistake you for somebody else," Vance responds.

Callen absorbs the information and exchanges a glance with his partner. "Hetty was trying to protect me," he says quietly. "She knew I was in danger. She resigned and flew to Prague before I could stop her. And she gave herself up to protect me."

"That's why you can't go after her," Vance says.

Callen shakes his head. "No. That is why I have to go after her."

Vance stands up a little straighter. "Hetty has resigned her position. She's operating outside the authority of his agency. We will send a team from Paris to find her, and we'll try to bring her back. But you will not be part of that team."

Silence meets the end to Vance's speech. Kensi feels the tension rise again. She exchanges another look with her husband.

When Callen pulls out his badge and gun, she is not surprised. He places the items on the desk between himself and Vance, and turns and leaves without another word.

Sam takes a breath as he considers the situation. Then he, too, hands in his badge and gun. He turns and goes after his partner.

Kensi exchanges a long look with her husband. They both understand what the consequences could be for them to follow. But Hetty's words earlier that day ring true. They are a team, and they will always come together when needed.

Kensi reaches around her waistband for her gun, and pulls her badge from her pocket. She steps forward and places them both down on the desk next to Callen and Sam's. She steps back and stands tall beside her husband.

Marty nods towards the director. "I would if I could," he says softly, but resolutely.

"Yes, you would, detective," Vance responds with a nod.

Deeks looks to Kensi. She nods, and then they turn together and walk out the door.

They find Callen and Sam in the parking lot.

Callen is trying to get in his car, but Sam is blocking the way.

"You are not doing this by yourself!" Sam shouts. "I'm coming with you."

" _We're_ coming with you," Deeks corrects.

Sam and Callen stop arguing and look towards Kensi and Deeks.

Kensi stands tall beside her partner. "We're a team. And we come together when needed."

Sam glances between her and Deeks and then nods. "We're a team," he echoes.

"Let's do this," Deeks says.

* * *

 _ **AN: And that's the end of season 2 (well, almost. I'm considering this point in the episode to be the end…).**_

 _ **Also, if you have a chance, please check out my new story, LAW & ORDER. (Not a crossover, or in any way related to the show Law and Order). I've been working on it once in a while for about a year and a half (got the idea when I was writing a flashback for this story). It's mostly finished so shouldn't take time away from this story.**_


End file.
